Tanya Chapter 14

The Beinoni's Level: Accessible to Every Person So now that we know what this level of the Benini looks like, here in Chapter 14, the author was going to tell us that this is not an ideal that's reserved for just a select few. This is a standard that every person could live up to, and therefore a standard that every single person should strive to live up to. And then he summarizes in this chapter why this path is accessible to all of us. Start. First of all, you don't have to necessarily develop an aversion to worldly pleasures or to worldly comforts that, as we discussed in the previous and a few chapters prior, that was a level belonging to it's Haddock, the one who has achieved mastery over the impulses of the heart itself. But when it comes to mastering thought, speech and action, when it comes in simple terms to Swami Raba as a type, turning away from negative and turning towards the good ones, that lies squarely within the Bananese domain that is within our control. And as we discussed throughout the past chapters, this is precisely where the opera of a place is the work of the Banani and the greatness of the Banani. There was quite, you know, a bit of discussion on these few words that were pulled from the different talks of the of the Rebbe in, in that, that that Tony, that I told you, I used to prepare all the commentaries of the different Rabaeum. This, the very first few words of this, of this chapter. Hold on. I'm actually, I don't have it written down. I'm just going to scroll onto my other screen. This this the beginning of the chapter starts. The rank of the Benini is one that is attainable by every man. Each person should strive after it. So on those few lines, the the rabbis spoke a lot about this. So the the words of the time that the author of says he said this, they meet who meet us call Adam. It's the media of every person. It's a measure. It's a standard that every one of us could reach. And the rabbit says in a certain sense, there's even a quality in the Binani that's a a milah over the topic. There's something that the Binani has above what the topic has, and he and he elaborates on that a lot. He says the topic has already transformed his inner world. His heart itself wants godliness, he wants terror, he wants myths, he wants connection. There's no pull in the opposite direction, not consciously or even subconsciously, but the Benini does experience this pull. The Benini wants the comfort, the Benini wants the worldly pleasure. The Benini wants the validation, the easier route, the sense of control. He is impulsively driven towards that. And then he says no. He says, I'm choosing alignment over instinct. I'm choosing what's true over what feels immediately gratifying. I'm choosing truth. I'm choosing trust over what feels safer. And that movement itself, the rabbit describes. This is a tremendous act of Bittle, a tremendous act of submission because bittle isn't only just, you know, this is what God wants. This is what I want. That's like the certain level of bittle, like, you know, that speaks of, of the, of the of us, of our forefathers, that they were like a chariot. They just followed. They didn't have a will of their own. They followed the will of Hashem, just like a chariot. You know, the horse turns right, the chariot doesn't go. Do I want to turn right? Do I want to turn left? No, the chariot just follows the horse. That's the bittle of the level of our forefathers. But the rabbit says there's a certain kind of bittle in his scafia. That's a even a greater kind of bittle. It's wanting something else and still choosing God's will. Anyways, do you hear that, that distinction there? It's, it's like this level of deep, deep submission of saying, I, this is what I want, but I'm going to totally silence that voice and do what's correct, do what God wants. And so every time a Binini does that, every time he engages in his scafia, there's something very profound happening. Revealing God's Presence in the Era of Gallus And you know, I was reading when I was reading the Hayam Yem on Friday, I realized that there's it was a very similar message to the to the, the entire picture that we have of the Binani or the entire picture that we're given of the Binani in this chapter and in the Rebus commentary on this chapter really aligned with what it was saying in the Hayam yem. In the Hayam Yem, the rebel was quoting an idea about the when Mashiach comes, we're going to long for the days of Gullahs. OK, that sounds like pretty extreme, right? And so the obvious question is why, if Mashiach has a time of revealed godliness, revealed goodness, revealed truth, what could possibly be missing? What would we be longing for? And the rabbi explains here that there's a certain kind of Avaida, there's a certain kind of work that we're doing today that belongs specifically to Gallus and that we could only have during Gallus. It's the Avaida of pushing past darkness and choosing light. It's the avaida of drawing godliness into concealment. It's the work of Escoffia. When Mashiach comes, the godly presence in everything and in every moment is going to be revealed and obvious. It's going to be the only perception available to us. It's going to be the only truth. Yeah, During goalless, we are the ones who reveal that truth. We are the ones peeling back the darkness to reveal God's presence. We are the ones who are doing this work of fine tuning our receptors so that we can see it more clearly. We're the ones repainting the scenery so that others can see it more easily, so that God could feel at home here in in the language of Hassidis, the the quote that the Rebbe kept saying was this is our opportunity to naman otsmos like we ourselves are drawing God's very essence into the world. We're doing this work ourselves. That's the capacity that we have in our hands now that we won't have during the time of of redemption during the ghulah era. And that is exactly what the Vida of the Binani is. That's the work that the Binani does. The Tatak experiences revelation within his own consciousness. Like the the Tatak lives within ghulah, The Bainanido participates in creating it. The Tatak sees reality. The Tatak experiences reality through the lens of his godly soul, as we're going to see actually in that later in this chapter. The Altaraba quotes a Maimer Hazala saying of the sages, Ilam ha tereba Hayeka, the world, the Ilam Haba Tereba Hayeka. You'll see in your lifetime, in other words, that Sadiq experiences a case of Ilam haba in this life because he is in a Ghula state of mind steadily. So he is in his lifetime. Today he's experiencing the world to come. The Beanany, though, has to do the work to see the godly truth in each experience. The Beanany has to do the work to align with God's will in each action. And that gives enormous significance to every single choice that we make every single day. You know, we're, we're familiar with, we're familiar with the teacher, with the teaching that a person should view the world as a perfectly balanced, you know, there's a perfect balance. 1 action is going to tip the scale for the entire world. This, this idea is brought over and over. In this context, it means that when I choose trust over anxiety, when I choose generosity over resentment, when I choose compassion over jealousy, this isn't just a private victory taking place somewhere inside my own heart. Something huge is shifting in the world. In the Tanya study a few days ago, when we were still today, we're already in Igarasa, Kadesh. We were still in this section of Igarasa Chuva, and I remember reading an analogy there that Steinzel gave and it really landed for me. I don't remember exactly how he said it, but the way I internalize it and I'll use, I'll use my house. In his example, my house sits like east to West. The backyard is facing east and the front yard facing West. So in the morning, the sun is in the backyard and it's very, very hot. By afternoon, the backyard is covered in shade and the front yard's very warm. So literally within the scope of a few hours, the sun is, you know, from my perspective, the sun moved exactly 20 feet. It moved from my backyard. Now it's in my front yard. But in reality, and that's just my little tiny perspective, in reality, there was an enormous distance that was crossed for that small shift to happen. Where I'm standing. The sun left the West Coast and is practically rising in Australia now. In my perspective, it moved from my backyard to my front yard. Our inner work affects the universe similarly. To us, it feels like we moved 1°. One thought was redirected, 1 impulse was restrained. One choice was made differently. But on a spiritual level, much more moved than we realized. Our little act of Escoffia moved mountains. It moved from the West Coast to Australia. Even though in my heart it's just a little, you know, a little tiny shift and only the Benin he gets to do that. Every Soul's Deep Desire to Be a Beinoni And actually the rabbit points out something else here that's really, really beautiful. He says that, you know, on these words again, the next words in the in the Tanya, we said this is a a measurement that each person, this is a standard each person could achieve. And therefore Akraha call Adam Mim Sheikh. Each person should strive for it. And he he lingers kind of on this word Adam, every single person. And this is this is something that I, I want to speak to because this has been a conversation in, in other groups that I'm in. And the rebel lingers on the word Adam here. He says every single person using this term Adam. Where does this word Adam come from? It means Adama la Elian. Adam was given that knee. Man was given that knee because Adama la Elian, he resembles the divine, the part of us that exists in the image of God. The Rebbe explains it from that place, from the part of me that is that was created and continues to exist in God's image. From that place, every single person is drawn to becoming a being. Any every single person wants this, even if consciously they don't think so or they don't even know that they do. Even if consciously they're perfectly content with their exact their life exactly as it is. Even if consciously they have no interest in doing the work of self refinement or of alignment or of growth. Because consciously a a person can only want what they know exists. In a conversation I was having a few days ago, we were coming to this realization that, you know, if a person was born in a prison and he spent their entire life there, they won't necessarily long for freedom. Not because freedom isn't desirable, but because they don't actually know what freedom is. They do not know another way to live. They don't know what exists on the other side of the prison walls. And we are like that sometimes too. We become so accustomed to a certain level of anxiety or resentment or distraction or ego or disconnection that we assume that that's just what life feels like. We don't even know enough to want something else. You know, I'm, I'm just thinking of a silly little example of I remember a little while ago speaking with someone. We were having a conversation about the, they were making wedding plans. They were talking about their mercatonym, you know, the, their, their daughters in laws. And they were saying, you know, they were talking about them as such dramatic people and everything's a big deal and everything's a drama and it's so challenging working with them. And I reminded her I was like, they could be a tornado and you just stay, stay here. Like you don't have to get swept up in their storm. And I was realizing how like it's only natural to get swept up in someone else's storm because it's, that's what we watch. That's what we observed. One person's dramatic, everybody gets swept in and there's just drama and chaos and noise. And she said and he said and they didn't. We were never modeled a different way. All because someone else is going through a sin of drama doesn't mean we have to get swept U. This happens with our children, with our souses, with our coworkers. They, they might be having a moment. We could stay in our place. I mean, I'm going off in a little bit of a tangent, but just to give an example of if your entire life you were modeled a certain way, a certain way of behaving, a certain way of reacting, it's only natural that you're going to just continue to act that way. And from your conscious awareness, you don't know that there's another option. You don't know that there's another way of engaging with life. You don't know that there's another way to plan a wedding. If the Muratanam are getting dramatic, you're supposed to get swept up in the drama too. But but that's not the case. It's not true. That's only when you were born in jail. But you have we have to know that there's another option on the other side of the walls. And what the rebel is telling us here is that from this space, from the place inside of us that is steadily living as an image of the divine Adam, every single one of us is striving to be a being. And even if we don't know what that looks like, deeper than our conscious awareness is the soul. And the soul knows, and the soul remembers, and the soul wants truth, and the soul wants alignment, and the soul wants God. And so even when consciously a person says I'm fine exactly where I am, or even if they don't feel fine, but they have no idea what to be looking for or what to be longing for, somewhere deep inside there's this pull toward becoming a Binami Akharejo called Adam Yimsheh, a pull towards becoming a more truthful expression of who they already are. Because that desire isn't something we have to create. It's already here. It's built into what it means to be an Adam. So now when it when it comes to the word Yimsheh, the to, to strive for this to be pulled towards it. The rabbit also says here that there's two ways to understand it. You know, for in Hebrew, Yim Shah could be translated in two ways. First of all, it could be this is the person should strive for this level. In that sense, it's almost a command because you can, it's something that you're expected to do. But the second reading is even more beautiful. It says Akraha kala adamyim Shah, a person will strive. It's a promise. A person will strive for this level. It's not only an instruction. It's it's a it's a promise that we're given that because internally, even unbeknownst to you, you are Adam. You carry within you that part that is Adama la alien, a part of you that resembles the divine. You will eventually awaken to the realization that a better life is you will have the consciousness and awareness to create that shift. Now this feels to me like a beautiful reassurance for anyone who's watching a loved one who might seem stuck or unwilling or asleep at the wheel or moving through life on autopilot. They're, they're literally just unaware of how much deeper, how much richer, how much more meaningful and nourishing life could be. And so this teaching reminds us that they too will strive for this level one day because their soul wants it. Because they are a dumb too. Because somewhere beneath the layer of habit and beneath the layer of fear and beneath the layer of distraction or or resignation, there's a part of them that is pulling them towards truth, towards growth, towards God. But I think this message is not just for our loved ones. This is a message that's equally as important for each one of us because there are moments when we, we ourselves get stuck. Moments when we say, I don't even want to do this differently. I'm tired of doing the work. I don't even want to want something else. And so maybe in those moments, the work is simply to drop one layer deeper, to turn to God and say, help me want a deeper, richer, more meaningful life. Help me want better. Help me want something different. Because even if I can't access that desire consciously right now, my soul already wants it. The capacity already exists within me. I don't need to create it. I just need to uncover it. Now this, this connects. Hold on, this connects to something that we're going to see later in this chapter where we can now understand what we heard all the way in the beginning in the opening lines of the Tanya. I'm skipping around a little bit today. The the altar we began the Tanya with the famous words must be an Isa tihi tadek vahal tihi Russia, that when the soul comes into the world, it's given an oath, it's made to swear. Be a tadek and don't be a Russia. Now, at first glance, you read those words and it sounds repetitive. If I am being told to be a Tadek, then I'm obviously not going to be a Russia. Why do I have to swear on both? If I have to promise I'm going to be a Tadic, clearly I'm not going to have to also not be a Russia. Now we understand that, though. Now we can understand that. It makes sense after everything we've learned, to actually become a Tadic in the Tanya's definition, someone whose heart has been completely transformed. That is not necessarily in everyone's soul mission, everyone's soul's mission. Not every soul is destined for that level. That's a gift that comes from heaven, but to not be a Russia, to ensure that the animal soul never takes control of our thoughts each and action, that is the Avaida of the Binani. That's our goal. That's expected of every single one of us. Which brings us to those first words of Mashbian. We're told that we are given an oath, and this connects to what I was just sharing in chapter 1. We said Mashbian doesn't only mean to administer an oath. We also said it comes from the words, from the word soba. To be satiated, to be satisfied, to be filled. In other words, before we were asked to live up to this standard, we were satisfied with the we were giving. We were filled with the capacity, we were given the capacity to live up to this. And I think that's exactly what the rub is trying to empower us with with over here in this message, because it's very easy to hear about the Banani and to think a halavaya Banani Halavay. Like if only. And the rabbit actually quotes the hussid. There was a hussid, a famous hussid, RIP Hill Parricha. The rabbit says he, he said this in himself. He looked at this concept that the altar was discussing and he said Halavaya should be a Banani. If only. So if he's saying that, how much more so that we might be thinking this? I keep struggling. I keep having to choose again. Maybe this level isn't for me, but the rabbit here says no. The very fact that heaven asked this of you, the very fact that heaven set this up as a standard, is because it God knows that you could do this. You might not always feel capable consciously, but your soul was already given the capacity for this work. And when we know that, it becomes easier to keep expanding into that, even when consciously it feels challenging. Heaven already knows your challenges. Heaven already knows how difficult your particular struggle is, and that's precisely why the the mission of warned us. Again, this was quoted in the 1st chapter. Don't see yourself as a Russia. Do not see yourself as a Russia. Because when you identify yourself as a failure, you're going to be discouraged. You're going to lose the ability to serve God with joy. This teaching here is meant to do the exact opposite. It's telling you even when consciously you feel so stuck. And even when consciously you can't see a way out. And even when you hear talk people talking about this and you're like, I don't even know what they're saying. I can't relate to this. I'm feeling I'm in a different state of consciousness. What they're speaking about sounds like hypothetical words. So he's coming here and say, no, no, that level of Russia that you're feeling in right now, don't see yourself as such. God already knows your struggle, and he gave you the capacity to be a Bainani. And when you know that you will be able to expand into that space. It's meant, this idea here is meant to fill us with that confidence, to remind us that the struggle itself is not the proof that we're failing. The struggle itself is the work. And every single time we choose again, every single time we align, we are living exactly the life that our soul was created for and empowered to live. So now the altar but continues to give us a tool. How does a Banani have the capacity to constantly do this? He gives us a a tool for us to use. You're steadily being driven towards an impulse. You're steadily able to rise above it. Practically speaking, how does a Banani do this? Steadily having these temptations, steadily being pulled towards certain desires, noticing ourselves slip into old patterns, old survival strategies. So how in that moment, is the Banani able to stop and choose differently? How does he choose alignment over impulse? How does he choose truth over the narrative that the animal soul is spinning us into? How do we steadily choose to move into trust rather than to follow the patterns that will keep us into in safety and to control? The Ultrabook explains that the Banani has access to something very deep inside. Because the truth is. I, I, I kind of actually hinted at this in a previous chapters, but we're going to elaborate a lot on it here. The altar of it tells us that in truth, no Jew ever wants to be disconnected from his source. Nobody. The problem is what happens whenever we have an impulse or a desire for something that's not aligned, there is usually a, a neighboring voice that comes along with it and says it's OK, it's not such a big deal. This isn't really a deviation from the truth. You're not actually disconnecting from God. And even if you do, you can always come back. And I think you know, the same idea applies with all our survival strategies. When we're moving into a coping mechanism or we're following an old pattern, there's usually a a voice reassuring us along the way that says this is true, this is the real narrative. This isn't your animal soul talking. This is actually what's happening. This isn't a safety mechanism. This makes sense. So at the same time that we're moving away from alignment, there's this voice convincing us that we're not actually moving away from alignment. Because the truth is, if we really understood in that moment that we were choosing this connection, we wouldn't do it. We wouldn't want it. Nobody wants to be disconnected from their source. Nobody wants to act out of alignment with our truth. And the author of it says that every Jew has within them this hidden love, this ABBA Misuteris, this hidden love for God. And even when we're not consciously aware, there's a place inside of us that never wants to be connected, disconnected. The Tanya quotes, the words he says we know. We know inside of us that Avani seifem Abdilan, our sins create separation. Our sins pull us away. When we act out of alignment, we're literally moving away. Now, obviously I just want to emphasize, you know, again, I was having a conversation with the counselors and they were saying this in very matter of fact words like when a person sins, they, they're, they're, they're far away from Hashem and they're not, you know, they're, they're blocking the channel of blessings to come. And I, I was correcting them based on what I was reading here in these words of an essay from Abdilam, the fact that our sins create a separation between US and God. It's not a punishment. God is everywhere. There is no place where God is not. So when we talk about separation, we're not saying that God goes away or God forbid, that God's punishing us and leaving us. Avani Sikham Abdullah is just this natural consequence of our choice. When I place my attention on something that's not aligned, when I contribute to the realm of Klipa, that Klipa literally becomes like blur on my glasses. Every single time I make a choice that's out of alignment, it's like I'm walking into fog. God is still right here, but I just walked into fog. And so I can't perceive him as clearly. My receptors are literally blocked. So in that sense, our choice is creating a separation because they create blurriness in our own perception. Deep inside of us, beneath all the noise it there's this hidden love. And it says I don't want to do that. I don't want to be disconnected. I don't want anything getting in the way of my relationship with God. And the author of it says this awareness is something that Bean and he can access in a moment of choice. He stops and he says, wait, is this actually what I want? Do I actually want to follow this impulse? Do I actually want to follow this narrative? No, I don't want to be separate from God. I don't want to be separate from truth. I don't want to be standing in a foggy space where I can't see truth. Bringing Soul Depth to Everyday Choices and Impulses And the author of it gives us a pretty extreme example to prove this, how true this is, how this is deeply, deeply embedded within every Jew. What's his extreme example? He says even a Jew who may have no conscious relationship with God, who may not consciously live a life of Jewish values, of terror and of mitzvahs even. And he calls him a Akashva column. Akashva column is literally, it's like a spiritual lightweight. So even a Jew who's a spiritual lightweight, so to say, when he is faced with the ultimate test, when he is asked to deny God or to give up his life, even that you will suddenly be willing to give his life for this al Qaeda shacham for the sake of God. Because in that moment, all the other rationalizations feel away, fall away. Sorry. There's no neighboring voice that comes and says, Nah, don't worry, this doesn't really mean anything. That neighboring voice doesn't exist anymore. The truth is obvious. If I do this, I will be separate from God. And his soul cries out and says, no, no, absolutely not. So the beanie is able to say to himself, if that person has the capacity, if the kasha of a column, the spiritual lightweight has the capacity to give up his entire life rather than to separate from God, then surely I have that same capacity right now to give up this impulse to redirect this thought to make this choice differently. You know, I remember seeing a a silly meme. It was about siblings. It says, this is siblings, I'll be ready to give you my kidney. But no, you cannot have my phone charger, right? Like when it comes to big things, we're clear, It's obvious. Of course I would give my life. Of course I wouldn't deny God. Of course I wouldn't give up my deepest truth. But when it comes to the small things, suddenly we're negotiating. Like, should I indulge in this impulse or not? Should I keep following this resentment? You know, it's working for me right now. This narrative really, really makes me feel good. It's like where I get to put all my energy in. Do I keep following, replaying this narrative, or should I follow, you know, do I follow this fear or do I choose trust? Suddenly we're negotiating. So the octopus says, don't be fooled by the fact that this feels like, oh, it's just a small choice. The same part of you that would give up everything rather than disconnect from God. That same capacity is available to you right now because as we we quoted this earlier in the in the past chapters, a person only moves into a space of disconnection when a Ruashtos as foolishness enters him. What's that foolishness? It's the voice that says, don't worry, this isn't a big deal. Don't worry. This isn't really separating from you, you from God. No, no, no. This isn't your animal soul's voice. This is truth. This isn't a safety mechanism. This is the real narrative. This isn't fear. This is what you need to do. This voice convinces us that we're choosing truth even when we're actually just choosing from our survival patterns. And so this is a tool that the author of gives the enemy in this chapter. He says, you have within you a hidden love that can be awakened at any time. And when we notice ourselves being pulled away, we stop and say no. I don't want to be fooled by this foolishness. I don't want to deny my connection to God. I don't want to deny what I know to be true. I want to see clearly. I want to choose from there. And I actually, I want to spend a moment here, another minute on this, this idea of Monsieur Snefish. We're talking about how the Kalasheva column has its capacity and the Binani looks at him and says if he can, I can. This idea of Monsieur Snefish, it really is deeply connected to the work of the Binani. It's not just about this theoretic, the, you know, this hypothetical, you know, possibly a choice that a person would possibly have to make. The B enemy can access this at every time. And there's something deeper here being shared. In a sense, every act of Escafia could be done with the energy of mesiris nefesh. Mesiris nefesh, just as a translation, is when you are ready to give up your life for something that's for a greater good. Mesiris nefesh means that I'm ready to surrender the voice of my animal soul for the voice of truth. And we talked in the past. We talked about this before that when you're used to living according to a certain pattern and that pattern feels safe and that pattern feels familiar, you know how to operate from there. You have complete sense of control. You know, we talked there. I remember a few chapters ago we talked about people pleasing how like to move out of that. We feel so unsafe because you don't know any longer how people are going to judge you and you're not sure where you're going to fit in. Or maybe, you know, just give the example somebody who who always deals with uncertainty by controlling every possible outcome. You plan, you calculate, you anticipate everything that could possibly go wrong. And then you're faced with a situation where you genuinely don't know what's going to happen. Your instinct is to go back into that familiar pattern, keep calculating, keep anticipating, try to gain control. And instead the Benini stops. You recognize what's happening. You notice this pattern and you say, I'm I'm going to let go here. I'm going to trust God even though I don't know what's about to come. And this feels huge because you're stepping away from something you've made to feel you, you had inside of you that made you feel safe for a very long time. This is how you operated. So in a sense, there's a form of Monsieur Assevich in that moment. There's literally, it's a kind of ego death when you're putting aside something that helped you stay grounded and you're like, hold on. I'm choosing truth. I'm letting go. I'm doing it differently this time, in this context that we were, I spoke about earlier about, you know, when Mashiach comes, we're going to long for the evaida of Gullos, the rabbit. They are also in that same hayamya. The rabbit was, you know, the I I read the Hayamya not everyday, but occasionally when I have a chance or when my husband points to something that he thinks I might be interested in there. There the rabbit takes the quote. I'm sorry, the rabbit gives a quote that I am Yem. It's very brief in this book. They give you the full context, like the full Sikhel where the rabbit brought that quote from. So it's a word that the Friedrich rabbit said or one of the other rabeim. So there again, the rabbit brought the full context where they were talking about when Mashiach comes, we're going to long for Gullis. So the rabbit is was elaborating there on this teaching about Masira Snefesh. And he said there, he pointed out there that Masira Snefesh doesn't mean, I think it was quoting the rabbit Maharaj. He said Masira Sneffish doesn't have to mean something extreme. It doesn't mean that we go up onto a rooftop and we jump off. It doesn't mean you're at the edge of a Cliff and you jump. It could be that. But Masira Sneffish could happen in very small hidden moments in our lives when we understand the significance of these moments, when we understand what one act of escapia actually accomplishes. Like the whole beginning of this chapter, I was talking about it. When we realize how profound that movement is, we can approach it with the same energy of Monsieur Nefesh. Literally. Monsieur Nefesh means that you're coming at this from the depth of your soul, and this could likely be that nobody else knows what's happening. Nobody knows that you just caught yourself going down a familiar path and you stopped. Nobody knows that you just redirected a thought. Nobody knows that you just loosened your grip on something that you've been trying desperately to control. It may be completely hidden. It's only between you and God. But you know what just happened. And more importantly, you know how significant it is. You know that this small movement is actually not small at all. And when we understand that, the Revit explains, we can bring our entire soul into that choice. We can do it with the same seriousness, the same depth, the same energy that we associate with Nasira. Snefesh. And I think that this adds another layer to what the Altarv is telling us here about the Benini. He says it's not only if you would be willing to give your life for God, then for sure you could handle the small choice. I think he's also saying that this choice itself matters tremendously. This act of Iscopa is like an act of Messrs Nephesh. And when I understand how much it matters, I can access the deepest part of myself in order to do it. The same depth of soul that a Jew accesses in the moment of literal Messrs Nephesh, a literal giving up, a part of giving up his entire life for God's sake that is available to the Benini as he's giving up. A part of his ego, a part of his safety, a part of his animal soul's desperate attempt to hold on, to control the Benini gives that up. And that is like a literal moment of mysterious nefesh. And that's part of the greatness of the Benini, that over and over again, in moments that look completely ordinary, the Benini brings the deepest part of his soul into that choice which which is going to bring us into the next, the next part of this chapter, the final part of this chapter, up until this point was the beanie's mastery over his behaviour. Training Desires: Working Towards Heart Transformation Right thought, speech in action, The beanie, you got this. You can't achieve this. You should achieve this. What about actually changing the desire of the heart itself? What about reaching a place where I no longer want this thing that's pulling me away from God? Can I develop an aversion to those things so that it is no longer a struggle? We elaborated on this a lot in the chapter about the Sadiq. We talked a lot about what this looks like inside of a Sadiq psyche. And, and even in that chapter, I was bringing references and reference points to recognize and realize that actually, you know what? Maybe, just maybe this is something that each one of us here could, could taste. And here the author of actually brings that home. He says, yes, it's true that having developing an aversion to those things, changing our heart from the inside out, that is the level of the tide. And that's what the author of a quotes the words here he tells us. He says This is why Eev in in the Navi Eev in the book of Eev, he Eev said Barasat Sadiq Borasat Rusham, you created Sadiqim. And of course we had the question all the way in the beginning of the time. What do you mean you created Sadiqim? If we are, if we have free choice to keep growing, why does it say that it's predestined? Hashem created the Sadiqim. So by now we already understand the answer that not every soul was given the capacity to actually reach that level. And but the Atrev is coming here and telling us it's true. Not every soul was given the capacity to reach the level of Atadic. Not every soul was given the capacity to change their heart internally, to create an aversion to all the things that are out of alignment with God. But here's what's interesting. The author of it now comes and tells us that even though this is ultimately the level of Atadic, he says to the vanity, try, try. You should actually work towards this, he said. You should actually set aside time to contemplate the nature of these physical and morally pleasures so that you could actually begin to develop at least some aversion towards them. Because as we've discussed before, they are the the aversion to worldly pleasures and to comforts and to the safety of the animal soul. It's the flip side. It's two sides of the same coin. So long as I am attached or attracted to do to those things, it shows that I am still not fully aligned with my godly soul's will and desire. It can't be both. We cannot have dual loyalties. So long as I am seeking somebody else's validation, it shows that I'm not fully grounded in my own truth. So to know that I have a straight backbone, to know that I am fully grounded and know that my value and I know my worthiness and I know absolutely that I am a channel of divine. The moment I look outwards and seek somebody else's validation, I know that I move out of alignment. I'm no longer fully grounded in my own truth. So that's just that. I mean, I'm giving, you know, the the broad example of this, but the same As for anything is if I'm attracted towards one thing, that means I'm not fully aligned with God. If I am challenged in a mitzvah, it means that I'm not perfectly aligned there. And that's OK. This is the evident of the Banani. But now the author is coming and telling us, hold on, even though the tardic has this mastered, he says to the Banani, I want you to start working towards that. I think you actually can change yourself from the inside out. We we, we talked, we said that, you know, Iscaffe is a tremendous evident the being that he has to steadily work towards us, right steadily. I noticed myself driven towards the impulse steadily, steadily working. Every time he notices it, he has to come back and move away. The author was telling us, you know, if you do the inside work, Escoff is not going to be a steady, steady work. You're going to have internally, you're going to be attracted to the right thing so you won't constantly have to be redirecting your impulses. And he gives us a, a pretty extreme contemplation. He says think about the things that you find so pleasurable. Think about delicious food and delicacies. He says, think about it. At the end of the day, it turns into human waste. In the words of the Tanya. I'm quoting the Tanya here directly. Likewise, with regard to all pleasure of this world, the wise man foresees what becomes of them. Ha ha, ha, Maria Asanaylad. Ultimately, it's going to be ROP, it's going to be worms, it's going to be waste. His larger point is to help us realize that sometimes our pleasure for something is coming because I only see it through one specific lens. He says change that lens and your entire experience of that thing is going to change. Again, I'm giving giving this example in a very basic way, but just this past Chavez, there was somebody new in Scholl and he asked me if the chalent was vegetarian and actually it was, but he explained that he he's vegetarian now. He tells me he actually grew up in a family of butchers, and he used to work in the meat plant, and he ate meat all the time. And then he became a physician. So he says I became a physician. He says, the first time that I participated, you know, in opening up a human body. He says I was so struck by how similar it looked to the animals that I had grown up working with. And he says that completely changed my relationship with meat. He said I went from eating meat twice a day to twice a month to eventually not eating meat at all. Now, obviously, my point here isn't that everyone should stop eating meat. The point is that he saw this exact same thing through a different lens, and it totally changed his desire for it. And we've all experienced this in some level. There were foods that we loved as children or experiences that we loved as children. And you look back now and you say, I cannot believe I used to eat that or I used to do that. It's gross or it's ridiculous or I used to like doing that, right? No one's forcing us not to eat in anymore. We just evolved past it. We just don't want it anymore. Our perception changed and so our desire changed along with it. The outdoor is telling us in this chapter, you don't have to wait for this to naturally evolve. He's encouraging us evolve yourself past these indulgences. Because even though the Benini may never, ever reach the Tadek's complete transformation of the heart, he says we should still work towards that direction. You should still train yourself to see certain things differently, to develop an aversion to it so that we're not always having to fight the same pole with the same intensity. And then he gives us, he also says, on the flip side, there's that work don't only develop, you know, a taste for less desire towards those things. You should also work on cultivating more of a desire for the life that is aligned with God's will. He's and again, this is the same encouragement that the altar gives us throughout Tanya to invest time in learning to actually delight in God, to meditate on God's greatness, to do the to the best of our ability. And through that we will develop a genuine joy and pleasure in our relationship with him. This is steadily, steadily, steadily repeated in the Tanya. This was a conversation we were having about prayer that this is the way we will develop an internal space. We are we do want to be more in connection with God, which will allow us by consequence to have an aversion to the things that are out that are out of alignment with his will or it works. The flip side as you created an aversion to his to the things that are out of alignment. You will end up feeling more of a desire to be in connection with him, and even if we know that you might not have the sole level of it's adic, he says. Do your part in fulfilling the oath to heat sadic to be it's adic. You should do your part. And when you create new habits and when you create these new neural pathways and when you create this new wiring, it will become your second nature. The more often we respond in a new way, the more accessible that new response becomes. It's just the nature of it. I'm sure I give the gave this analogy 101 times here before, but I'll say it again. When you're have to sled down, you're up on the top of a snowy hill. When you sled, you get on your sled. The automatic thing is it will go into the paved path already. It's going to take work to start a new pathway. But as soon as you do, that path becomes easier and easier. That response becomes more accessible and more accessible. So when we do our part of this oath to be atotic, the natural consequence is that it will become our second nature. Awakening from Below Meets Awakening from Above And now the altar of it says even more so he says when we do our part, which he calls Anissarosa de la Saltha and awakening from below. God meets us there and we will be gifted with an Issa Rosa de la Elah, an awakening from above. God will gift us with something we never could have created on our own. And the author of it introduces here an idea that a person could merit what he calls. It's like AI don't remember what the Hebrew term was, but it was kind of like an impregnation of the soul, like Ebor like a the soul could be impregnated with the soul level of Ruach. The you know, Nefesh Ruach Mashama, the soul level of Ruach of a tadek. The soul of a tadek could become invested within him. His soul could be impregnated with the spirit of a Tadek soul. So this doesn't mean that the Binani suddenly has a new soul or becomes a Tadek in the full sense, but he could be given access to something of the Tadek's experience to a level that he was not naturally able, that was not naturally available to him before. Why? Because he did the work, he pushed himself to move towards that space of Ataudic. And I think this is just a really powerful way that the Ultravit ends this chapter because yes, of course, we have established that what we have the capacity for right now is just to choose, choose what to do with your thoughts, speech and action. But at the same time, the Ultravit says, keep working on your heart, keep training your desires, keep cultivating your capacity to experience joy and pleasure in God. Because when we do what's within our capacity over and over again, we create a a vessel, we create a channel for God to give us what's beyond our capacity. We do our part and God will help us to become something that we could never have become on our own to He's going to give us. What it says here is the ability to serve God with true joy just like it's haddock, to be able to live in that state of bliss just like it's haddock. Q&A and Discussion on Prayer and Connection That's all. That's that's where I end my thoughts on this chapter. Look at that perfect timing. Hello to those of you who joined them at all. Any questions, ladies, you know something actually on this. It's interesting. I, I had quoted and hold on, I'm going to open my Tanya here with the author I was talking about like looking, I didn't, I didn't say this here because it was like it wasn't in the flow of what I was talking about. But I do want to find a quote from Natania. I I was speaking to the women here, the women here, you know, the author of it tells us, look at the food and the delicacies, the things that you take pleasure in. And he says it's, it's going to turn into waste. It's going to turn into worms and waste. Like when you see it from that perspective in in this chapter, he's he's he's giving a, a man, he's telling men also. He says when a man feels this, this desire or this pleasure or this attraction, you know, this attraction towards a woman, he says, try to see from a different perspective. And I remember years ago reading this and being like, oh, come on. Yeah. Like, why does Altra have to say it that way? He's actually quoting from a Gemara. He tells him, you know, to see her as a flask, flask of feces. Like she's, she's at the end of the day, just like a, a body with waste or, you know, he's quoting A Gemara. He's trying to help us see from a different perspective. And I, I'm pretty sure that this Gemara is talking about, it's talking about the idea. And I'm saying, I'm pretty sure because I'm really not sure. So I don't want to be misquoted. Hold on a second. My son is at the door. I'm going to go open it. I'll be back. OK. I don't want to be, I don't want to misquote what's being shared here, but I'm pretty sure it's he's quoting the Gemara where it's talking about that if not for this physical sexual desire, we there would no be survival of the species. Like if man only saw a woman in a way that she actually is just this like physical being that's not attractive. There's there's there isn't God created man with this attraction so that there would be a survival of the species. So I'll drive it brings us back to that gamar and just try to see from the other perspectives. Try to see it minus that attraction and and it will you know, it'll help you have an aversion towards it. So I'm pretty sure that that's what that quote was over there. Any other questions, ladies? Petina, I see her there. I'm curious if the the stuff that I shared, I know it's from a from a past conversation. I'm curious if it spoke to you, if you heard, if you heard, were you on in the beginning? I didn't notice when you went. Speaker 2 On I just got on at the end. I'll have to listen. Sorry so bad. But what I did, I did hear at the end when you said the part about the Sadiq, like, like I'm pregnant, pregnanted with the Sadiq. What came to mind was like in like in a practical sense was like the what's the word? I'm looking for the creating new neural pathways. Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Did you? I, I said that immediately before. I don't know when you came on. Speaker 2 Meaning the concept of like to understand it in human concepts. To me, like that when you shared about like where you. Yeah, to me that would be like, like, you know, we do the work and then eventually act like it can create a new neural pathway. Absolutely, yeah. Speaker 1 New wiring, new pathways. And that I, I, I'm wondering though, 'cause that's kind of weird altar, but kind of says there like that's like Tebashini. It becomes our second nature. It becomes an easier path to go down. It becomes much easier to make the choice. The next step is the topic moment. In other words, it's still the Bainani where it's just much easier. There's no, there's not an acute pull towards the other thing. It's just becomes like a natural. I was thinking about the topic level, like there those, to me, it felt like these reference points that we have these moments, these experiences where we do absolutely, you know, I don't know if everybody has this or everybody has access to this, but I, I, I do wonder if each, if each of us can access points in our life or experiences where you're absolutely held in oneness, like you're, you're part of a greater whole. You feel part you even like when you're sitting in a group of people or when you're in at an experience at A at a wedding, at a Hopa, at a where you're able to sense into this moment of like you feel God's presence where there's where you're sitting in a minion where you're. I don't know if anybody has these experiences that they might be able to share, but that's what came to mind when I was reading that, like this moment where you're literally feel like what the author ever said. What's this promise he's giving us? It's it's he says simply Tadiq and Bashem like this, this experience that I taught the cast where he just rejoices in God. He rejoices in the fact that he's a, a Jew. He rejoices in, in, in his being. And he rejoices in the fact that he gets to participate, that he gets to be a channel of God, that he gets to do God's mitzvah to me. Those are those experiences seem to me like I, I, I think, I hope I, I, I hope that each one of us here might have a, a moment, the taste of that that they can reference. And where does it come? It doesn't come by accident. It's not like you wake up and get there. You, you get there because you're doing the work. You get there because you're steadily showing up and doing what God asks you. I know davening has been such a big conversation here. And when we steadily show up and steadily show up and steadily show up, and then we have a moment where there's a paragraph that really speaks to us. And in that paragraph, we feel held in God's oneness. That to me sounds like the reward we got for showing up as abeni. We're striving, striving akhara call Adam. We're striving to be there. And God, God step meets us in that place. That's what I think. This is my perception of it. I don't know if this is what the altar means, but this is the way I interpreted it. You know, actually, I, I want to speak to the davening thing because it's a, it was, this question came up in so many different ways and I've been still getting private messages about this. This seems to be something everyone is really challenged with. And I just the other day I took a screenshot. I'm going to see if I can find it of the Tanya. I think it was the Tanya on Friday or Shabbos. Maybe I'm going to look because I sent it to somebody who had texted me. The other was talking there. He said when we we dive in, it should be the yeisukinas Tak libam Hashem, their height, their heart cries out to God. Or another option is mimkinas Rishvaish michalheves Aza, this flash of fire, a mighty flame. One is it's it's one kind of love and another kind of love. 1 feels the distance and 1 feels the closeness. Hold on a second. That or that's what that at least that's what it seems to me what the Alberva was saying here. So maybe, maybe, just maybe for those of us who are still challenged with domining and when it still doesn't feel like, you know, we've entered domining and it feels like the bane. And he suddenly his left side of his heart is silenced and all he could feel is the right side of his heart. And that's the only part that's dominating him. And it's the hafta Sashembehala vafra, right? Because that's what we were talking about before. This is this is what the Alterva is encouraging us to move towards. And I'm thinking here that what what I what I picked up from these words is that perhaps then your prayer could be from a place of distance of turning to God and saying, I want to feel closer. I want, I want to be able to sense that I want to have, but I don't. But but we still have to show up to ask for that to say, eh, davening doesn't it doesn't do anything for me. Then it's not it's going to continue not doing anything for us. The Beninis work is to show up anyway. And that's where God meets us, but he's showing up from the place of I feel distant to you, God. Like again, what did I just read there? But yeah, the yes, Buchinas taak Li by Mel Hashem, his heart is crying out to God and saying, I hear so much about prayer. I hear so much about what a beautiful experience prayer is. And I don't feel that I want to feel that. And I think that if we as as the striving vanity show up with that prayer, God will meet us and and things will start to shift. So I don't know like that that's this idea popped into my head, but it really feels aligned with the same message here of the being. And he has to has to still show up. You know, Tila is a Vitish of a babe. It's a it's a heart. It's a work of the heart. And we we might all be very good at, you know, mind work, like learning something, understanding something, getting a ha moment. Oh, this was beautiful. The goal will be now to bring it into a space where we're feeling that not just, you know, imagining a feeling, but to have that literal sensation. And that's what it seems that the altar was telling us here that if we keep showing up the site, despite the fact that our heart has not been transformed, the altar, Eva tells us here that God will meet you there and he will give you this feeling inside of your heart. I'm I'm curious if anyone here who was struggling with the, the the oveny experience, if this, if this speaks to you, this explanation that I just gave. Listener Experiences: The Power of Intentional Choice Hey. Speaker 3 Just an FYI, as you were talking, I was painting and wow, it came out so amazing. So I guess what we hear effects what we're doing. I wanted to just along the lines that you're saying like, first of all, I just, you know, the, the information you gave, what is so powerful that it it just needs to be like, I feel like I need to sit quietly with it, but. Speaker 1 Brooke, I don't hear you so clearly. Speaker 3 Oh, OK, hold on, hold on. How about now? Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead. Speaker 3 OK, Can we? Speaker 2 Can can we see the paintings? Speaker 3 It's, it's an it's this, the sky was just made and it's like, wow, it is powerful. I, I can't, I moved away from it 'cause I was outside and it's noisy. But I'll send you a picture. Penina Missus painter. OK, there's there's for me to what you just described is very real. And because my relationship with the Ebisu, with Hashem is only one that I want, that is authentic and real. Can you hear me or my disconnect? Yeah. So what you're saying holds a lot of truth because that's the only path I want to choose from here forward. And davening is definitely a good place to, you know, measure where that's holding. And it was a it was a chore, you know, wake up, say breakfast, do your thing and then get to your day. And why? Because that's what I was raised. You don't do anything before I say breakfast. I hear that old, that old disconnect dictate of how I should show up. So the more connected was for me to do that. And it took a very long time. And there was unfortunately on October 7th, a guy named Yaakov Becker, I think his name was, I don't know, some guy that was that was his Neshama was taken on October 7th. And they were showing a video of him driving towards the festival and he's singing in the car Elokai Neshama. And it struck such a chord. And I heard somebody who sang Elokai Neshama with a whole different connection to Tvila. That song is like, it's like the Elokai Neshama of my current Elokai Neshama is connected in that way. Where, my God, what am I saying? He said it. And because of what happened to him, the every word of that became so significant and powerful that he was literally talking about the neshama that was given to him and the neshama that will return to him la ASI lavoe in the future. Wow. And I just that hold davening now. It's when I come to Lakai Neshama. Everybody knows I'm going to start singing it in that form because that to me gets me so aligned with my initial in that moment of gratitude, of awareness. It was breath. It was breathed into me. It's given to me. This is the gift of this moment and that's Fila. That's my go to to Fila when I feel dis aligned. Speaker 1 That sounds like the Sidisha Taich of the Kanashama. Somebody had posted a letter from the rabbit. Someone had posted that on the Group A few weeks ago where the rabbit was encouraging us to, to tap into the the paragraph in order to be able to develop a relationship with it so that we can be dominating from our heart. And that sounds to me like that's the that's the translation of that of that paragraph. So this is what this is, I guess with the work that's cut out for us to start developing that knowing about each paragraph. Imagine what what what David and Malik was singing, what he was feeling when he wrote the other paragraphs. Speaker 3 So when I sing it that way, I So my point is I invite everyone because the experience is almost an out of body experience. You forget everything and you like find the one that talks to you and start from there to discover what it feels like to be so consciously aware of what is happening for me in this moment, in the magnitude that is huge. That brings me to a place of awesome awareness of humility and and incredibleness of me, little significant. And all this is given to me. You really do see me. I am. Speaker 1 Beautiful. Speaker 3 Yes. Speaker 1 That's the you're speaking to the reference point that I was saying. I was saying, do we, can we all try to think, remember reference points that we have of, of those moments where we're, we're feeling, we're feeling like a topic feels deep joy, deep joy in God. Rejoice, O Talikim, in God. Speaker 3 You know, I will say that to rejoice that deep joy. It's the like we're saying it with words and we're and we're talking right now in our cerebral minds and our mouths and our whatnot. But when you experience this, I'm telling you now, I understand when people say Callus and Ephesus that your, your, your soul wants to leave you almost, you know, when you that moment of alignment, of awareness of the magnitude. That's why there's so much to me that there were so many translate the words consuming contractions. Contractions, right? Because we, I, you know, if we really sit with every word and moment and awareness, I'm not sure we can handle the magnitude of what's happening every second in our lives in such grandiose, miraculous, loving ways that literally everything else that that that's negative or uncertain, it dissipates. It just goes away, you know, it just puts a light on for everything gorgeous. You're literally. Speaker 1 Describing what I was trying to say before, so thank you for saying it in different words. Beautiful. Speaker 3 Yeah, that's I, I, yeah, Yeah, I'm grateful. Thank you, Tovi. That was great. Speaker 1 I think even if, if, even if everyone sitting here doesn't, can't think of that reference point, I think you might be into like, even if you're just sitting and you're watching a gorgeous sunset and you're just sitting there in deep awe and wonder and like, wow, wow, like that's a taste of it. I, I, I believe that we all, we, we all have reference points, but sometimes it's just when you don't know what's happening, you don't take note and you don't bookmark it. But I think start taking note, start start bookmarking those experiences and recognizing and realizing that you you are because of the work that you're steadily doing, God is granting you with tastes of what it what it feels like to be in relationship with him. Speaker 3 Can I throw in another $0.02? Speaker 1 Go ahead. Speaker 3 I think, I think, I think for me, I have to choose it. I really have to choose it. I hear this information. I know I'm looking at a sunset or a song or a moment that I'm steered and my I'm emotionally pulled and whatever it is, I think I have to choose it because there's so much noise, there's so much monkey chatter, There's so much going on that really wants to take front and center in my life. And it does because I feed it and it gets a lot of energy because it keeps coming up and it keeps pulling at it. So I feel like I have to know that I have a choice. I have to know that I can give myself permission not to shut the door on all the noise. It's there, whatever. But I want to give myself permission and the choice just for this moment, I want to put everything on hold. Hey Bishuk Hashem, can you hold all of this so that I could choose? Because I have to choose it. It'll choose me. The noise chooses me if I don't choose. So if I can I just choose or? Speaker 1 For this, I think that's very relatable for everyone also. That's very relatable. And that's that's the vanity. The vanity has to steadily choose either this or this, either this or this. So that's a great description of that, of what that experience feels like. Thank you. Anyone else? You're again, just a reminder, if you want, you can send it to me in the text messages and I can respond. All right. Thank you for joining us, ladies. Same time, same place. I'll see you next week. Thanks for being here. Thank you. Speaker 3 Thank you. Thanks to me.