Tanya Chapter 13 (plus Iskafya & Ishapcha explored)

Honoring Sponsors and Welcoming Today's Discussion Oh hey Stacey, I'm glad you're here 'cause I was just getting started this minute and Stacey's our our class sponsor today. It is my God willing, it's my birthday that's coming. Chavez on the holiday of and Stacey Ingram sponsored today's class in honor of my birthday. Stacey is a friend from many, many, many years ago. I met Stacey shortly after moving here on Sohus. Sadly, she moved away a few years after that. But and I remember, I remember so how how like that. It was like the saddest thing to me. I was like, Oh my goodness, the one person who I've become so close with is moving so far away. But it's been I think, Stacey, I think you moved. It was I was pregnant with my son. He's 15 now. So it's been 15 years, hey, and we're still it's still. It just goes to show how friendships are non local friendships do not are not limited to time and space. And I am so deeply grateful for you and my life and honored that you dedicated today's class for my birthday and in merit, you know, and for these brilliant Tanya classes, as you said. So thank you. Thank you so much. Also, thank you. Shayna Baumgarten. Sheena also was a sponsor today. She wrote, she's expressing gratitude for these classes and discussions that help us return to the core of who we are and to our essence. And her dedication came with a blessing and a wish that we continue to transform this world and bring more light. So thank you so much, Shana Shana's ESPY last week on the class, I like teased and said, I said something about a high ESPY. And so she introduced herself by by sponsoring today's class. So thank you so much. Reconciling Inner Conflict: The Work of Subduing Impulses So I actually, I, I want to start today's class by responding to some of the questions that came up. Some were in the chat, some were private messages. They were really thoughtful, nuanced questions and honestly questions that have once been my own. So I was really excited to see them come up again, especially now at this stage where I feel like I have so much more clarity around them. And of course, just to clarify, when I say clarity, this is my understanding based on what I've learned in the Tanya, particularly from the edition that include the Biorim, the explanations from the different Rabaeum. My, and of course my understanding is also shaped by the way that these ideas have landed for me in my own process through my own learning, my, my own integration of the Altribus teachings also beyond the Tanya, just from his teachings in the Mymarim, which are also very, very foundational to Khabar Hasidas. Of course. I, it goes out without saying, probably by this point that my, my understanding is also deeply, deeply shaped by the Rebus perspective on so much of what is explained in the tiny and by the Rebus perspective on, on just our, our, our lives, The Rebus perspective, the Rebus paradigm that has shaped my way of understanding all these concepts. So the the question that was addressed, I guess the core question that was addressed was how do we reconcile between the two ideas that I keep bringing? On the one hand, we were saying that the Binani and the Tahdik are not on a simple continuum. The evite of the Binani is not about eventually becoming a tahdik. Rather, it's this steady work of showing up again and again and again in that space of inner conflict. That's the Binani's work. The Vietnamese inner world might be 1 of steady, ongoing inner tension. And every single time he chooses to align with truth, this itself is being tremendous, not just tremendous delight to God. Now, at the same time, we were also saying that a person does grow. We do expand, we do deepen, we do develop greater presence, greater capacity, a more expanded consciousness. And when we learned about the topic, we spoke so much about how these ideas could be personalized, how elements of the topic do become part of our inner world, something that we can relate to, something that we can access. So the message we got there was that we can have parts of us that do actually cease to be in steady tension. And even more so, that's something that once served a part of me, that once served as a safety mechanism, can get transformed into our superpower. This skill can now be used in the service of my truest voice. So again, back to the first thing I was saying in last chapter, I was very careful to stay true to the Tanya's language about the Benini, which was the Avaida deskafia that when triggers arise, the work is I'm not letting this take over my thought, my speech, and my action. I'm not letting this define me, which really isn't about transformation. It's simply about subduing. Like hiscopia literally means to subdue or to suppress. Like practically speaking, it means refrain, hold back. It's the ability to not let an impulse take over. And again, that's the core work of the Benini, to steadily subdue citrachre, to steadily subdue the other side, the side of impurity, the side opposed to kedusha, to holiness. So what I want to address here, I want to address the tension of these two perspectives because I, I, I really feel very passionate about this. I remember actually once sitting with some of my younger relatives. I was sitting with some of my nieces and nephews, and we were discussing a piece in Natanya where the altar of it says ulai le cough nevre. Perhaps for this alone you were created a very powerful, very comforting, deeply validating message to the Binani, as if to say, yes, you're struggling. Yes, these are patterns that you have. There's anxiety, there's fear, there's control, there's mistrust. There are desires for for the impermissible that you keep finding yourself in. Some of it is nature, some of it is nurture. And it may be that this is not going to go away so quickly. But don't let that make you a story of failure. Don't let this be in your mind, a failure story. Don't say what's wrong with me. Don't say why. Why do we keep getting back, getting stuck here? Because it could be that Ulay the Cockney abroad, this is exactly why you were created. This is your life's work. This is your steady work of Escoffia, your soul keen to subdue this particular form of satrachra. You're here to meet that moment again and again and again and say I see you, but you're not going to run my life. You don't get to dictate my behavior. And in this act that might feel very petty and small to us, especially when we're having to do it over and over and over in this act, that's what shifts the balance of the entire universe away from Citra Ahra and towards the realm of holy. This act that is hidden away in the recesses of our psyche. I'm the only one who even knows about it. This is what's creating a home for God in this world. And that's how we ended last chapter. We ended last chapter with this idea then that when feeling like, you know, when, when we experience a feeling of resentment or anger or jealousy, we watch the simples arise inside of us. I said, don't turn towards blame. We don't turn to the source of the trigger and point the finger. You made me feel this. We were encouraged there. The rabbit said, look inward and say this is an opportunity. This trigger was gifted to me so that I could do a scafia, so that I can choose not to let this thought take over my narrative, not to let this thought control my speech or my action. And that choice, that restraint again, brings tremendous delight to God. But then came the next question, a text that I got. Someone said, But is that enough? If I feel jealousy, do I just stop at controlling my behavior? Or is there a deeper process? Is there more? Is there a more transformative process available to me here? Am I just going to steadily have to control thought, speech and action? And I was so grateful for that question because this is exactly what the therapeutic model that I work with is founded on. Beyond Subduing: Transforming Energy into Superpower There is absolutely a deeper process. It wasn't, it wasn't at that point offered to us in last week's chapter. And so I didn't bring it in, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to bring it here. There's absolutely a deeper process of work, of actually presenting with the emotion itself, not just suppressing it, but being with it, listening to it, allowing it to unfold, but not in a way that gets hijacked by the animal soul. We must step in #1 iscafia. We subdue the energy's form of expression. That's the process of his hiscafia. Then comes the next process of his hop hole, where we actually could transform it. The energy under, let's take anger as an example. The energy under anger that itself is not the problem, how it's being channelled and expressed, that's where it becomes problematic. I was recently, I was recently sitting with a woman who was expressing a lot of anger towards her ex-husband. Every interaction with him felt disrespectful, dismissive, triggering. She would reach out to him about one of his responsibilities around the kids, and in every interaction, she felt like she he was undermining her. And for a very long time, her work around this was Escafia. Not to react, not to lash out, not to undermine him in return. She was going to be the adult in the room. But when she began to sit with this anger, she was able to attune to what is this really about? What's going on inside of me, What's getting triggered here? And something transformative happened, like literally transforming in the transformative in the most literal sense of the word. The same energy of anger transformed into something else entirely. And I mean the literal energy while sensing into it. As the sensation moved through her body, it was no longer an energy directed towards him, outward towards him. It shifted into this deep grounded sense of self, this assertive knowing of who she is. I matter, I know who I am. I am worthy regardless of how he behaves towards me. And from that place, she no longer has to control her reactions because she's no longer destabilized by his behavior. She has a completely different posture. In the past, his behaviors were so deeply triggering to her, but today she no she. She no longer feels undermined. She knows her own value. So his disrespectful behavior no longer pulls the rug out from under her. She's able to notice this is about him. So instead of only doing Escafia containing the expression, she's accessed this much deeper layer where the energy itself was transformed. And this too is part of the Viennese capacity. You know, in, in a mimer from last week's parsha A, a teaching from Parsha's glucose, the Adreba speaks about this, this whole idea. He speaks about it through the metaphor of the para Duma, the red heifer. The animal is burned completely, but the ashes remain and they become part of a mitzvah. And he explains there, he says, the external form, the distorted expression or what we called earlier, the soiled garments, the thought, speech and action, those need to be burned. We need to curb the behavior. We cannot express anger in a way that's destructive. Those need to that needs to be burned away because they can turn into very destructive behaviors. But the core energy, which is symbolized by the ashes, he says, that remains. And not only is it neutral, it's good, it's usable. It gets used as a mitzvah. The ashes get used as a mitzvah. This energy can be too. It's meant to be elevated. When the energy is in a fragmented, unrectified state, the way that it gets translated in the animal soul can absolutely probably will show up as Yeats or hara behaviors. They become very destructive. But the energy behind the anger or the jealousy or the inappropriate desires, they come from a place that can be refined and rectified and redirected. You know, actually on Shabbos, one second on Shabbos, the girls who were staying here, we have a bunch of councillors staying with us. They printed out a sikha to learn and I sat down to learn it with them. And the intro there was a translated sikha. So there was a little bit of an introduction. It began with a quote from the Baal Shemdov where he said I was destined to become a leader. Thank God I became who I am, otherwise I would have become the leader of a band of Hwy. robbers. In other words, the exact same expression that our animal soul might hone into a brilliant skill that is used for survival and for our own ego. That same exact expression doesn't need to only be shut down. It needs to be redirected. Sorry, the expression has to be shut down. Possibly we cannot become a leader of a gang of Hwy. thieves. But the skill there that was honed likely through survival, that has to be directed. Holding Two Truths: Growth and Lifelong Struggle And that is the Eva Devas Hopclug. You know, it's actually funny. My, my 10 year old was sitting there and he was listening in and he was like, why did he have to see a band of Hwy. robbers? Like why? Like he was like either either he's like either a leader of the Jewish people or a band of Hwy. robbers. Isn't there something in between that those aren't his exact words or that's what he was asking and I said no, that's actually the exact point. These energies have the capacity to go in either extreme. So when we see an energy that's extreme on the on the negative side, on the side of Klipa, to recognize and realize that same energy can go in the complete opposite direction in the realm towards the realm of Dusha, toward the realm of expressing sorry, expressing my true voice. So now, even though, even though the safer shall bean in him the book for the bean in he doesn't always emphasize this transformational process explicitly, it absolutely does exist within the framework on the most basic level, the work of Escoffia. And again, this, this is a commentary of the Rebbe on this chapter. It's not an isolated experience of restraint. It's just, it's not like, oh, restraint here, restraint there, restraint there. Once again, once again, it's not isolated. There is actual rewiring happening inside our system. If you keep choosing a different pathway, a soul LED choice over and over and over again, that potentially will become your new default setting. So the, the work of Escalfia is the process of rewiring our, our reactions and, and we'll see this more clearly actually in the coming chapter. I think it's actually in the next chapter where the Altruva speaks about the possibility of through our Bainani efforts, we can expand and to experience a kind of atotic moment where atotic level soul gets infused into the Bainani. It's like this process you called like your soul is impregnated with the soul level of atotic or the the with the, with the soul of atotic level. But so again, it is these, there are mentions of this in Natania and, and today in chapter 13, actually, the Rabbis speaks so beautifully. Again, a commentary which I I'm just emphasizing here. The Rabbis speaks beautifully, again quoting the Frida Greba, that the level of the Tadek that's described in Natania, which is after all the book for the Banani, is actually a level that is Shia that is applicable to the Banani, which means that these are not foreign concepts, they're not distant ideals. These are experiences that we could access. So, so really we're, we're holding 2 truths at once. On the one hand, the Evida of the Benini is lifelong. The tension may not disappear. Hiskafia remains central. On the other hand, the there is real growth, there is real expansion, there is deep transformation, there are moments and even lasting shifts where the inner world itself becomes more refined, more aligned, more at peace, and where we canmore steadily, more consistently and more easily shift into seeing reality and experiencing reality through the lens of our godly consciousness. In our group chat, I had answered the question in 2 short paragraphs and I actually I'm going to just repeat what I wrote there to summarize everything that I just said. So I I wrote that we are offered two knowings. On the one hand, we're empowered with the message of steady growth and expanded consciousness. You will not be stuck in this forever. You cannot only master this. You can even transform it. In other words, you can have topic like experiences. On the other hand, when you do feel stuck in this ongoing internal struggle, this ongoing internal tug of war, know that you're not stuck. There is profound purpose in steady restraint, in steady pivoting, in steady choice making. Every single moment is a win, even if it feels like we are standing in the exact same spot. So so that's that that concludes my my very brief introduction here. Inner Conflict and Divine Assistance in Beinoni Now we'll move into the stream of of Tanya chapter 13. So after if, if I'm hoping, I'm hoping that that those triggered some thoughts and questions and please hold them or, or for a leader, I would love to hear them or even, you know, go ahead and put them in the text message so that we get to it. So after after laying out these essential, this is this is chapter 13 here. Just summarizing quickly. We've laid out the definition of the topic. We laid out the definition of the Russia. We laid out the definition of the Benini. And now he returns to the question from the very first chapter. What does it mean that the Benini is Zevizeshifdan? Both inclinations judge the Binani. He quotes a a puzzle that says Kiyama idlumen evyai Laheshimaishvidinavshay. He said God stands at the right hand of the poor man which is the Binani to save him from them that judge his soul. So just quoting from Natania that this term them that judge indicates that there's two judges within the person and now that we understand the Binani, we understand what this means. He's clarifying first of all that it uses the word a judge, a shaifet, not a maishel, not a ruler. There aren't 2 rulers in the beanany, there's just two judges. Because if the Yates are, if the emotions of the animal soul would actually rule even for one moment, then the person would no longer be a beanany. So both the Yates are taupe and the Yates are hard. The emotions of the evil inclination, the emotions, the emotions of the animal soul, the emotions of the godly soul, they both present their perspective. Just like 2 judges in a court case. That's the inner reality of the B&E. Now we understand there's two competing voices, there's two interpretations, there's two polls, but there's only one outcome. So who decides? This is where he he goes on to explain we need an arbitrator. Arbitrator. The final verdict is going to follow the decision of the of the arbiter. The final verdict is going to gain expression of thought, speech and action. And now the Tanya outlines how does this happen in our psyche? What goes on? So he tells us that the emotions of the animal's soul, the Eitzerhara, arises from the left side of our heart, sends a quick impulse up to the mind to start strategizing. But the moment it reaches the mind, it's met by the second judge, the godly soul, which is rooted in the brain. And now a decision has to be made. There's two voices. So how does it be any constantly, consistently keep choosing correctly despite the fact that there's this internal conflict that there's two voices. This is where the arbitrator comes in and says he's not doing it alone. The altar ABBA says me pne ha qadershwar Hu ha I Med Lehman Evian. There is this divine assistance that helps umay or la nefeshalli kiss. It illuminates the godly soul. Without it, a person would be overcome by the ET Sahara. So this help comes in this form of illumination, a light that strengthens, strengthens the godly soul. It gives him the upper hand over this confusion over the pull of the animal soul. Like we had said earlier, like light that naturally overcomes darkness. So the being, any success is that within the struggle with the help of God, the final outcome is going to be aligned with his godly soul. Now, I just want to make a clarify here. This isn't an external miraculous intervention that's needed. The the godly intervention is the intrinsic nature of the godly soul. It is steadily illuminated by this divine light, which is what gives it superiority over the animal soul. Last week we called the animal soul. There's foolishness here. The godly soul has this clarity, has this light, and that's what allows it. That's what gives it superiority over the foolishness, just like there's superiority of light over darkness. Cultivating Godly Soul Through Understanding and Bina So now the altar but comes back after he explained this, he also resolves this opening contradiction that we had again, we now know all these three categories. We can understand all the questions. He he, he he brought in. He resolves this contradiction from the opening of the Tanya where he brought in. On one hand the Gemara tells us, even if the entire world sees you as a tadik, you should see yourself kill Russia like a Russia. And on the other hand, he brought in, he says, but the Mishnah tells us clearly, don't see yourself as wicked. And even more than that, because if a person does see themselves that way, it's going to lead to heaviness, discouragement, the sphere. It's going to take away our capacity to serve God with joy. So he asked the question then, what was this oath? What did this oath actually mean? And now we could understand what does it mean? It means don't see yourself literally as a Russia. You're not actually a Russia, but remember, you're just like a Russia. In other words, recognize you are Abeni, but your same inner capacity for just like a Russia has this inner capacity for negativity, so do you. You have the same pull, you have the same desires. It exists just like they exist within Russia, they exist within Abeni. And that essentially is the definition of Abeni. Someone who still has a fully present Itahara, who can experiences these impulses, who can experience these desires, but doesn't allow them to translate into thought, speech and action. So he tells us here. You should identify yourself as a beanie and not accept the world's opinion of you. They might believe that you know all the evil inside of you is nullified for the good because you're acting that way. You're expressing yourself as a topic. But he says you, you remember, remember who you are. Don't get comfortable because otherwise you'll the battle. You know, you'll get weak, you'll get distracted. You won't, you won't stay on guard. He goes further than to explain something important here. He says the reason you can't get comfortable, you can't relax your guard. It's not only that you didn't get rid of your impulses on the left side of your heart. On the contrary, those impulses are actually growing over time. Why? Because we're feeding them. He says it in very clear, simple terms. He says the animal soul is nourished through eating, through drinking, through all of our mundane pursuits. He's not even talking about anything extreme. He's just explaining the basic way we live physically. It's the way we take care of our needs. These are naturally the stuff that's going to reinforce our animal soul, but it helps us understand something very fundamental here. Our survival instincts are deeply embodied. They come naturally, they're immediate. They don't need to be developed. On the contrary, though, the value system of the godly soul that takes real work, it has to be developed through the process of Khama bina das. You have the idea, you have the knowing, you have the value, you understand it, you analyze it, you think about it, you contemplate on it, then you have das, Then you have an emotional awareness around this. There's, it's a, there's so much work that has to be done in order to create a, a, a, a equal playing field inside of our heart. It's the, the voice of the godly soul takes active work to build. Otherwise the force on the left side of our heart is going to dominate because when it comes to the emotional realm, the left side has so much more power because that's the animal soul's headquarters. The godly soul takes up space in the heart, but only after it goes through this entire mindful process. A baby think about a baby. A baby is born and immediately knows what it needs. Food, comfort, care. This awareness is instinctive and we continue throughout life with that same deeply embodied sense of our needs, of our safety, of our comfort. The godly soul emotions are so different. They require cultivation. Stepping into Bina for Aligned Life Choices You know, I, I have a lot of clarity around this recently. It was interesting was it was actually like very synchronous, like it's very godly, godly orchestrated. Within the same week, I had a conversation with four different women, three different women, three different women who were working through the same question. This all these competing inner voices around growing their families. And it suddenly became very obvious and clarifying this idea that is very obvious, but it was very clarifying for me. In these conversations, we naturally know what feels comfortable, what feels manageable, what feels safe. That voice in US is loud and immediate. It's the voice of the animal soul. It's a survival instinct, so I feel it in my bones. But such a huge decision about whether to bring another soul into the world and of course many other decisions that we are making steadily that we have to make every single day. They can't be made from that place alone. The place of the loud and immediate sense of our animal soul's needs. We have to do the work that the author of is describing here. We have to step out of the emotional space, out of the emotional pull and move into the space of Vena. He, he breaks this down in this chapter. He says that's the only place where the animal soul and where the godly soul can can have the capacity to compete with the animal soul. He explains that the godly soul gains its strength, its gura specifically there in Bina. The godly soul doesn't get its strength in the raw emotional space of the heart. They are the animal soul stronger. But the godly soul is able to gain strength in a more reflective contemplated space. Through that process, through thinking deeply, through contemplating, through prayer, through expanding our awareness. That's where we begin to align with our higher set of values. That's where we awaken this deep love for God on the right side of our heart. And only then does the godly soul have the ability to truly take the lead. Because only then is there even an equal playing field. Because like I said, the animal soul is already well fed. Its needs are fully expressed and embodied. So if we want any kind of balance, if we want the godly soul to have a real voice, we have to consciously step into the space of vena. We have to rise above this immediacy of the emotional experience and create room for a deeper, more aligned perspective. Arousing Love for God and Raba's Truth And again, the author over here, again, this was a big conversation in our group text. He gives us the tool of dopening because in that space of contemplating God's greatness, and by extension or by consequence, in that space, we expand the values of Torah, we expand our godly souls, knowing in that space we arouse an emotional response. In the Tanya's words, this emotional response is intense and flaming Love of God on the right part of of our heart, which equals, which is going to equal a sense of clarity, a sense of connection. It's in those moments where the animal so quiets, it feels safe. It's in those moments when the values that we have in our mind have space to land inside of our heart. But again, he shows us that when that moment ends, what happens? We return into the always embodied reality of the survival instincts. The Eldorabid describes it as he describes the left side of our heart during prayer. It's like a man who was asleep, but it's going to wake up from sleep and reactivate all the impulses as soon as davening's over, as soon as prayer's over. So now this helps us move into the next part where he explains the story of Raba in the beginning chapter. Again, he's going now and clarifying the questions that he brought in the 1st chapter he presented. He was presenting all the questions about these different categories of people, right? And to emphasize that it cannot be that a Beenani is someone who sometimes sins and sometimes doesn't. He brought proof. He brought the story of Raba. Raba was a great sage. And Raba said about himself, he's like, I'm, I'm a like, like me, I'm a Beenani. And the author ABBA was saying, how could it be that Rob is a beenanny? If a, you know, if we're going to say a beenanny sometimes since sometimes doesn't, it can't be that Rob is mistaking himself as a beenanny. Now we understand though, what was Rob is saying? What how did he possibly make an assumption about himself? Because he spent all of his time in learning and in prayer, which kept him in a state of overwhelming love and yearning for God. His his godly soul was was ablaze. His animal soul was silent. So he never encountered internal tension because his entire day was immersed in prayer and study. But he didn't necessarily know what would happen the moment he stepped out of that space. Now, in truth, Raba was a target. But his assumption reflects what we're being told here, that who knows? Is this part of me just temporarily asleep or is it actually a fully worked through part? And This is why we're told, regardless of how you're expressing yourself, regardless of how the world might see you, you need to assume that you are K Russia. You're still like a Russia. You still have a sleeping animal soul that might get up and start, you know, creating havoc. Be on guard. Which brings us then into the next point that the the author of is making here in the in the next part of this chapter, he says something very powerful. He explains that the Beninese love for God is not called true in the same way that the love of a tsadak is. Why? Because it's not consistent. Truth by definition is something steady. It's something enduring. And he quotes a verse from Italy. He says the language of truth will be established forever, while falsehood is only momentary. Truth is something that lasts, something that doesn't shift. And what do we know about the beanie's love here? We're we're shown, it just comes and goes. It's present during prayer, when there's clarity, when there's connection, where there's expansiveness, and then it feeds. So in the absolute sense, it doesn't meet the standard of standard of truth that in the way that it exists in Atatak. Embracing Evolving Truth and Constant Spiritual Growth But here's the next critical point he makes. He explains to us here that for the beanie, actually, this is still considered completely true. First of all, it's true because this love is available for us at any time in the recesses of our heart. It might not be revealed, it might not be expressive, but it's fear. It just needs to be aroused, it needs to be woken up, it needs to be accessed and the bean. And he can do that anytime through prayer and contemplation. And furthermore, he goes on to say, because truth is also relative here, it's not only defined by consistency in an absolute sense, it's defined by what is real and accessible to me in this moment, given where I am standing right now. So even if today what you're accessing might be something deeper than what you accessed yesterday and yesterday now feels limited or or maybe even not real in comparison, Valderaba says, no, yesterday was also truth. That was the truth that you had access to then the avaida of the Benini, the work of the Benini is living in that relative truth, showing up fully honestly with whatever depth is available to you right now. And you know, reading this about Robba, it made me think of this example. Take two people who 1 is a salaried employee who works on a steady job with a predictable income. There's stability, there's reliability. It looks very calm, like trust. And then you have the, the businesswoman who's taking risks, who's living with uncertainty. One month ago, one month ago, things were flowing. This month she has to take a loan and she's not sure how things are going to work out. From the outside, the employee looks very calm and the entrepreneur looks anxious. OK, But in a deeper sense, the, the, the, the businessman who's taking risks might actually be doing something far more. She she might be doing far more in her work around trust. Every single time she leans into uncertainty and still shows up, she's accessing something very real, even it's if it's going to shake the next day. It doesn't mean that yesterday's trust wasn't true. It was fully true in that moment. Meanwhile, the employee might be in a space of safety, not necessarily accessing or even needing to access a deeper layer of trust. And this again, like I said, this came to mind while reading the story about Roba. Roba was always immersed in study and prayer, so he didn't necessarily encounter what would happen outside of that space. He didn't know. If I step out of this, will something else awaken? And this is also this. This made me realize This is why sometimes God removes our sense of safety from us. He's not coming to destabilize us. He wants to reveal with us, reveal within us a deeper layer of truth. Because how would we ever develop real trust if it's never challenged? How would we ever access our truest voice if we are sitting comfortably inside of a safety net or living behind a mask? How would we ever, how do I ever know who I am if I'm safely protected behind a behind a persona that I built? Resistance, difficulty, inner conflict. They're not just obstacles, they're invitations. They're asking what's your next layer of truth? These experiences might feel like they're testing us, but they're literally pulling back a layer of protection so that we could expose A deeper truth. You know this, I'm actually going off on a total tangent, but I feel like I have to mention the rabbit says the rabbit actually tells us. He says growth does not have to come through a safety net being pulled out from under us. He says we ourselves can choose to step out of our comfort zone. We can choose to challenge ourselves beyond what our animal soul feels like doing. And in that process, we're peeling back the layer. We're getting closer access to our core truth. If we set out to test ourselves and to expand our own capacity, God won't have to initiate the process for us. And this is, this is it. This is the work of the bean. And E. Today you were challenged at a certain level, so you responded with truth. Tomorrow another layer is going to open and it's going to ask for something deeper. And the author of it, actually, he gives us an analogy for this. He says MITA saw Ms. this attribute of truth. It's like the middle bolt in the Mishkun. There was this central beam that ran through all the panels from end to end, holding everything together. He says this is this inner thread that runs through everything. It's like this, this beam moving from the bottom, the bottom, the the lowest level of our consciousness or to the deepest level from the the lowest level, the lower. I'm thinking of like the upper level down to the deepest level of our consciousness. That's the core truth that runs through us. So even if, what if it, it feels like truth evolves and it deepens over time. At every stage I'm accessing that core beam in every single time that I align, every single time I choose correctly, that's truth. That's what the truth that exists for me right now. I'm accessing the truth that runs through me at that layer that's currently available to me. Again, this is the work of the being in need to live truthfully, not an absolute perfection, but in honest alignment with whatever level you're at. And he ends this, the altar of it, ends this chapter with this powerful principle. He says that the lowest level, he brings a, a quote, I think from the Cabala how I don't remember the, the lowest level of the higher worlds are still above the highest level of the world beneath it, right? We talked about the different worlds and just think of it like a house, right? The floor, the 2nd floor story is higher than the ceiling of the first floor. So even the lowest part of this level is already beyond what existed below it. That's, that's the growth. That's what growth is supposed to be like. Real development means that the level you once stood at is no longer what defines you. Your previous truth doesn't hold the same weight anymore. Not because it was false. Because you've outgrown it. You've expanded beyond it. When we genuinely grow, our current truth has to surpass what once felt true to us. And that's what the time is asking of us to constantly pursue our own evolving truth. To get closer and closer and closer and deeper and deeper to the core. Yesterday's ceiling becomes today's floor. And once you're standing there, we have to know that there's still a truer, a greater truth that's even deeper than that. So that's, that's our, our ending. Discerning Intuition: Godly Soul vs. Animal Soul My thoughts there on chapter 13, welcoming any questions, whether it's from the beginning of my, my little introduction or at this point. And again, I'm just offering, if you don't want to speak your question, you're welcome to put it in the in the text and I'll read it or comments or reflections or insights. Speaker 2 I have a question. I thought it was very interesting how Khakhmabina is what brings like proper dos comes from Khakhmabina, but then where does like where does because an intuition is an emotional, it's an emotional feeling. So here it's like, you know, you go back to Vena, but how much is it going back to your brain versus your hearts? You something off. Speaker 1 So could it be something that we've already developed? It's an intuition that has already been developed and therefore it's, it's like it's become second nature to me. It's become my deep knowing that that's the goal. Like it's just to go back to the introduction. We're, you know, the, the, the, the ultimate goal is an expensive, an expanded consciousness. We're, I'm starting to see reality through that lens because I've done this work over and over and over and over. It starts becoming a default setting. So intuition is, it's our godly soul intuition, which of course, every single one of us, just by the fact that every single time you would do a mitzvah, you're feeding that side of you, you're, you're developing that, you know, like mitzvahs are our, our access to this intuition. They're, they're feeding it just like, like nourishing with the survival instincts, feed the survival instinct. Every single point of Tyratzfila and Stucca, every single point of a mitzvah, every single time we're doing something that's an expression of the godly soul. That's my way of making that more and more and more a part of me. I, I really see that this is, this is something that I've, I've thought a lot about in, in, you know, the recent years, how these missiles, again, they're not just one off experiences. They're giving us from a, from our childhood. And this is something that we're giving our children. The greatest gift is we're giving them access to their intuition. Does that make sense? Speaker 2 In a practical way, though, how does that, how does that translate? Like it's so the the intuition is it's not an emotional thing necessarily or the the. Speaker 1 Intuition is the voice of our godly soul. Sometimes. Sometimes what we think is intuition is actually just the animal soul instinct. This is where discernment comes. But when we have an an intuition about something and it's a deep knowing, it's the voice of my godly soul. It's something that I've already developed because from when I was a child, I was saying my Da Ani when I woke up and I was saying Abrah every time I ate and, and every single day today I, I'm doing work and practice in developing the right side of my heart. So it's true that now I have a new, a decision to make. Right now I have a decision to make and it's a big decision. And I've, I'm able this just going back to the, the, the way that we spoke about in the class in my, my animal instinct comes on loud like, but this is what I need and this is how it feels good. And this is what I'm afraid of. And this is what I, I, I I need to access some, you know, control around. And I and I recognize and realize, hold on, is there, does my godly soul have the capacity to even speak with the same assertiveness that my animal soul does? That's where it takes like in this example with the women deciding should I have another child or not? My encouragement was go, go, go learn about that value. Go understand deeply how it impacts you, how it impacts your family, how it impacts the world, what it is that you're what, what it is that you're becoming a channel for. And then you will develop an emotional response to this idea. And now we have an equal playing field. I, I know what my animal soul feels. I know what my godly soul feels. And God willing, the, the godly soul has, you know, the illumination of God standing on the right side with him. And he's able to make a choice that's aligned with truth. She's able to make a choice. Does that answer your question, Connie? Speaker 2 Absolutely. Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you for asking it. Unpacking Motives: Physical Actions, Spiritual Intentions And I'm, I'm, I'm really grateful for the questions that allow us to fine tune what it was, what, what I shared. Speaker 3 Hi, Sylvie, it's Brophy. OK, Just tell me if you don't hear me because I'm on the top of the mountain. So if I go in and out, just stop me, OK? There's there has been a question. I did some learning of your classes with somebody and the question she asked me is she has chosen to live in a third way of ghulah and redemptiveness and alignment and really accepting and believing that annoyed Malvada. She lives that way. So she asked me she wants to do something that's physical, an enhancement and adjustment, something medical and she says, Brockie, it's coming from my godly soul. I hear it. It's my intuition. I want to do this. Hashem put this new, you know, these new innovations and you know, whatever medical availabilities are out there because the world is in a ghoul estate. And of course it's a bit, it's there for me because Hashem put it there and it's my godly soul. My my intuition is telling me that this is what is good for me at this point in my life. And it was a discussion because she came back to me. We had a discussion. She called me back. She's working now. I'm confused. I don't know anymore if it's my animal soul or my godly soul that's talking to. Speaker 1 Me So this is a great, great question. It's an excellent question. And this is this is here. Here's what I know inside of us. We have a calling, we have a longing, we feel a need and then two voices show up. My godly soul comes up with a way to a line and ability to satiate this longing. My animal soul comes in in the way that it knows how to satiate and bring in that longing. On the surface, the ACT looks exactly the same. So when this woman, she wants to do some kind of enhancement. Speaker 4 Beauty Enhancement. Speaker 1 I don't know. Whatever it is now, on the on the surface, it looks the same. We have no idea what's driving her, what we have to do, the steady work that we have to do. Keep looking in the mirror and going. I'll give you, let's not use her example. We'll, we'll, we'll come back to it. But anything we do can be coming from either of our voices. I'm sitting down there to read the news now because I want to know what's going on in the world and I want to be able to have a, a sense of knowing and, and contribute to the conversation or I'm sitting down to reading the news now because I'm agitated. I'm, I'm, I'm nervous and if I read the news, this is where I get to pour all my energy to and say what's wrong with him and what's wrong with them and what did they do? I go to the gym. I could be going because I'm trying to have a healthy body and I want to be able to, to feel strong and healthy and, and give my soul a, a body to be in. Or I'm going to the gym because I hate myself and I'm trying to, you know, maybe get other people to love me better. So I'm going to work out every single thing we do. We sit down for a drink. It's because we're trying to numb ourselves and distract ourselves. Or we're sitting down for a drink because we're hanging out with friends and this is going to, you know, enhance our conversation and our connection. Every single thing we do has a capacity to be used for the realm of Klipa or for the realm of Kadusha. And every drive towards that thing could be translated into the realm of Kadusha, into the realm of Klipa. It's we we're the only ones This is this is there's something I noticed in Davin ink, which is a a favorite sentence of mine today it popped out again at me because of what we were talking about truth la ilam yehi Adam Yuri shamayi besieser man should eternally be should fear God in secret besieser quietly Umaida Allah Ms. and acknowledge truth but diver Ms. Bulva and speak truth in his heart. And then he should get up and say the next paragraph. But the, the idea here, it's like this is this is a process, this growth, this internal growth is a, is a, it's a journey between me and God. I'm the only. Speaker 4 One who knows the truth and. Speaker 1 God knows my truth also. And for this friend that you were having a conversation with, it makes sense that it gets confusing and that's why we have friends and and mentors. Literally This is why we're told, I say the Kharabukh Neil Khadar, because we do need somebody objectively to hear us and to help us. Even if it's just a matter of like, I have this voice and I have this voice, can you help me? I, I, my own personal experience around these things is literally externalizing the voices, like literally putting one in this palm and one in this palm and then I'm able to see more clearly. So. Speaker 4 It's it's it's. Speaker 1 A great question and there's no answer we could give because we're, we're not subjective to it. We don't know is she doing this because this is her desire. This is how she's going to embody her role in this world in a beautiful way. And that might, that's amazing, you know, like I, if I want to buy a piece of jewelry, is it because this is my way, this the jewelry was created? I mean, why did God create gold if not for us to beautify the base of ignition, to beautify our Shoals and to beautify our homes and to beautify ourselves? The question is, am I doing this because I'm, it's this temporary, you know, way of filling a hole inside of me or, or keeping up with the Jones or, or is it because like this is my way of expressing myself and my role in this world? I'm the only one who knows that truth. And sometimes I get confused. And so I sit down with a friend or a mentor so they can help me see clearly. Speaker 4 Does it answer OK? Yes. Speaker 1 It did. Speaker 3 Very much so. And so I will do the flip side of this because this is a group of women and there's a woman there who's very holistic. Speaker 4 And under the guise of. Speaker 3 Holistic and and alignment and, you know, the purity of it all. Where she her husband's complaint is, is that you don't follow the doctor's orders because she doesn't trust medicine. Speaker 4 And here is where. Speaker 3 You know, the discussion became at what point, you know, where's Hashemin at? Where's where's you know, these are you find a Rafael Adid, a doctor you trust, but she's got such fear that she has no trust anymore. Because whatever her crises and her challenges, this is this is. Speaker 1 Also, this is a great question. The first thing I'm going to say here is that all of us, every single one of us, when we are observers or participants in these kinds of conversations, the work has to come in and go. How am I learning to make room for more than just my perspective? This is this is something I'm steadily working on in Group conversations. What isn't it for me? How? What work do I still have to do and to make more space for other perspectives? There is no, the the world is not black and white. Black and white is a new, a very, very child perspective, child part perspective, which means that often we find ourselves in those parts again, like it's either or and it feels so unsafe when it's the OR like, you know, like this is part of our growth is having the capacity to hold the nuance and to acknowledge that there are 70 opinions available and they might all be true, Especially if it's not affecting me. If I'm watching someone self destruct and someone that is dear to me and somebody who's willing to even hear my perspective. If they're not willing to hear my perspective and the only thing triggering here is me and my inability to just be present to them, then I just have to do my own work and be present to it. They have to do their work and get rid of their fears and work through the da, da, da, da. But I can't control their work. I have to steadily come back to what's here for me, what's here for me. Between the husband and the wife. They're each going to have to figure out what's here for them. He has to maybe make room for her perspective. She might have to heal her fears and and and so on. But like, each person has to do their own work. As adults, that's all we have available to us, our own work. Speaker 4 Got it. This is. This is. This is. Speaker 1 This is something that's very alive for me right now. Like this is what I'm this is, this is a, a, a work in progress for me, just creating space for other perspectives and and for when I'm triggered to just keep coming back to me. The only thing I have under control that I could control is my own reaction to what I'm witnessing. Speaker 4 Yeah, I I only control my. Speaker 3 Reaction. By the way, my. Speaker 1 Goal isn't to control my reaction. My goal is to expand my capacity to be with what's in front of me, right. So that's what came like. Speaker 3 I got curious, like both of them were sounding very correct in what they they their, their intuitive take on their perspective. And then I all I could offer was check your motive. Where where's the motive coming from? Like, what's is that? What's behind it? Yeah. Speaker 1 With a with a. Speaker 3 Very. Speaker 1 From a completely, completely outsider observer, it sounds like just like, look, this, this is a we, we get these triggers that become super just like amazing trailheads for each of us to go in and do our work. This sounds like for this couple, this health issue is, is just a, it's just a little, little example of the work that they have to do in the way they engage with each other. He has to create room for her perspective. She has to work on whatever her her fears and her anxiety around health. Speaker 4 And perhaps come to a a compromise. Speaker 1 Her husband doesn't fear for her health, but like every one of these things, it's not about the health. This has nothing to do with the doctor. This has nothing to do with holistic. This has to do with what's a triggering inside of them. It's mirroring. Speaker 4 It's a mirror for. Speaker 1 Both of them to to to look inward. Speaker 4 OK, I guess more will be revealed. Speaker 3 For them both. Overcoming Rigidity and Healing Relationship Dynamics Thank you Tibi. Absolutely. Speaker 4 Any any other questions? Speaker 1 Girls I I also if anyone else's input, it's very welcome. Speaker 4 Hey, Sarah. OK, Should we? Should we hit an? Speaker 1 End and hold on, I did see some comments in the text one second. Let me just check them. Speaker 4 It's actually so practical, like. Speaker 1 This is like these things like it's, it's broken down in such an easy, like in a way that's just really accessible. I really appreciate the examples and I appreciate the way that you just make it so. Yeah. Speaker 4 Just pause. Thanks for being here. Speaker 1 Thanks for your reflection though. OK, we have a good question here. Can you talk more about black and white thinking and advice of the tiny on how to work on that wound step #1 would be to notice it. The moment we got we were butting heads with somebody to notice. My perspective is bumping into their perspective. Bring awareness to the what? What is the discomfort here? A child doesn't even have a capacity to do that. The child is just like no, no, no, no. But you said, but you said, but you said, but you said, but she said, but right. The awareness that the that the capacity the Banani has allowing him to step out of, you know, the Russia patterns is bringing awareness. So we can choose otherwise. So step #1 recognizing me as, oh, it's my perspective. Oh, that's his perspective. It's really, really challenging when the other person's perspective feels like it's undermining you. It's really challenging. And so that's the part where I think we get tripped up. It's like, I need them to see this through my lens. Because if they would see it through my lens, they would stop doing that. Maybe they're. Speaker 4 Hurting themselves. Maybe they're hurting. Speaker 1 You maybe they're undermining somebody else that you care about. So that's where we can start looking at and going what's what are they triggering me? The fact that they have that perspective. What is it so scary about? Why is it so scary to me or uncomfortable to me or bothersome to me or triggering to me that they'd say that. And that is immediately going to allow you to feel what's what's coming up for me. When they say that, it means that they're they, you know, they said my food's bad, but what happened? I'm trying to remember some, my husband said something yesterday. This is a really silly example. He's like, can you get new glass bowls? These are so scratched up. And I made a joke and my response, I'm like, absolutely not. And he's like, why though? And I said, because when you make comments about things in the kitchen, I immediately hear that I'm doing something wrong. Like I was, it was, this was a very light, very easy, very like it was like a humorous conversation and, and at the same time, like I was honestly like so grateful he was even noticing the scratch double s because he's completely not a kitchen person. He doesn't like, that's not one of his forte's or his strengths. So even him noticing was like, Oh, good, he notices. He, he, he's, he's helpful here. But my immediate response and again, thankfully I was in a very humorous space. I was like, absolutely not. When you make comments about things in the kitchen. I, I, I think I'm doing, I take it as like, oh, what did you do wrong here? You're not doing enough. You know, I was very aware, and I think that's what happens the moment somebody else has a perspective, become aware of why does it bother me that he has that perspective? Why can't he just have a perspective that the bulls are scratched up and new ones would look a lot nicer? Like why? Speaker 4 Why does it bother me that? Speaker 1 He has that perspective because it's it's poking at something inside of me. And so that's where the work is going to be now, not in changing their perspective, in tending to the part of me that got hurt by the things they say, by the things they think, by their experience of me or by the fact that they're. Speaker 4 Disagreeing with me. Speaker 1 Does that answer your question? Speaker 4 Did you take it to the next level today? Speaker 3 And then what? And then you go inward and ask yourself, this is, this is, this is where we. Speaker 1 This is where we heal our parts. This is how we reparent our parts, by tending to the pain that's still sitting there. This is the work noticing the part of me that got her presencing with the sensation in my body processing it. And and then as we do that, we become more clear about that voice. Like why? Why is it feeling so hurt? Like what does it mean that I'm not doing the right thing in the kitchen? Like, why? What does that mean? Why, why does the part of me get so defensive? Why does the part of me immediately think that it's it, it, it's questioning my worth? As we do that, we become more clear. Speaker 4 Hold on, I'm reading the question. Speaker 1 That just popped up. What's if it's towards yourself having? I think I need you to clarify. Speaker 4 The the the other person's. Speaker 1 Perspective is towards you, right? Or are you saying within your own voice you're having different different perspectives? What if the black and white thinking is? Speaker 3 Towards self is your own thinking, ah ah. Speaker 4 OK, OK. Speaker 1 I think I'm guessing. Speaker 3 OK, That's a good question. What's? Speaker 1 If black and white thinking is towards your own self, like you've, you know what that that's that's I'm wondering if that's just as we begin to open ourselves to other. It's not someone else's opinion, but the way you look at yourself in a very black and white way. That's a great question that that's a great question. If anyone has something that jumps out at them when your own black and white thinking like you're so rigid within your own things, like you're, you get down on yourself when when you're not showing up in a in perfectly or you're not showing up exactly how you think you have to or like, what does this mean about me if I don't XY and Z? How does this define me if I don't XY and Z? What's popping out at me right now, and I hopefully this will speak to you is I think this is the work of expanding capacity for holding different perspectives. As we do that, our entire internal world softens. We become softer to everything we've had. There's we're less rigid. So this rigidity is it's like a, a, it's like, it's like child voices that might be so afraid of somebody else's perspective, might be so afraid of how I'm going to be perceived by the world, might be so afraid of, of how God's going to perceive me as these parts, as our, as we presence with this noticing, there could be softening around that and perhaps, perhaps again, bringing in the godly soul perspective, which we might think like, oh, this rigid thinking, Let's say it's hellafic. Some people are very rigid, hellaficly. And we might think that's a godly soul's voice. But could it be that it's a fear based voice? Could it be it's a voice of like, you know, Thunder and lightnings going to come crashing on me if God gets mad or I'm not going to be accepted by my friends, my community, my family. Like sometimes we're being guided through rigid voices. So the godly soul voice would be get, get, get learning on this, but learn the values around this. Like we said, the Hakmad Binadas process only in the Bina process, where I get a deeper, more profound understanding. The rigidity might be from a voice I internalized when I was seven years old. I have rigidity around this because this is the way I watch people around me, This is the way I was taught. This is what I know about the universe. Expand your knowing in the Hamad Bina element so that you can have a different perspective available to you. Speaker 4 I, I would. I'm really welcoming. Speaker 1 If anyone else has insight on that. Speaker 4 And and of course if I answer the. Speaker 1 Question to the person who wrote that. Speaker 4 Yes, thank you. OK. Speaker 1 Great. Speaker 4 Rigidity is an animal soul. Speaker 1 Voice even, even when it seems to be showing up in in. Speaker 4 In Jewish things that. Speaker 1 We think are godly soul voices. It's the ease that we have around it. If it's coming, you can literally feel the difference in your body. When something, when I'm following this rule, I'm following this guideline, I'm following this halacha. I'm showing up for for my my spouse. I'm showing up for my child. Whatever it is that I'm feeling rigid about, if it's coming with ease and an expansive sense of self, then it's your godly soul voice guiding you. If there's fear, tension and resentment, there's an animal soul voice present that needs to be, that needs to be worked through. Hi, Terry, you're. Speaker 4 You're muted. Yeah, There you go. There you are. Speaker 1 I'm wondering. Speaker 5 What if it's if it's always one person in the dynamic who's building more awareness or in the couple say, and it's always. You doing? Speaker 1 The work and. Speaker 5 And you on the journey and you understanding this, Tanya, and the godly soul. And so it's always like, obviously the person with greater awareness in this one particular area is all I'm speaking about is, is sort of like being the role model. But what if you feel like you're just doing that for so long that it's just so hard that the other person's not picking up on it and still doing the petty stuff and still so it's like, for how long you feel like you can keep doing that on your own? Terry, that's an excellent. Speaker 1 Excellent question and I'm sure it resonates with a lot of the people here. And to all of the people listening, it's it's hard. So I'm going to acknowledge that it is really challenging to be in a partnership with someone or in a Co working relationship with someone or in a friendship with someone who's not able to do this dance with you. You're doing it on your own. It's like it takes 2 to tango, but you're the only one tangoing and it feels, it could feel very lonely and it could feel very challenging. There's two things that I feel about this and that I really, it's been, it's part of my own process, part of my therapeutic practice. When we steadily and consistently bring the lens inward and do the work, when there is a container of a relationship, the energetic exchange shifts eventually. But it has to be not about getting you to the other to change. It has to steadily with integrity be about me and my shifting and, and the energy the energetic exchange really, really does. When you're dancing, there's no, the other person has, no, I mean you're playing chess and you move your pieces. The other person has to move. So when you do the tango, they're going to have to move their foot or because that's just a natural thing that's going to have to happen. It, it works every time, eventually. Part 2 This is where we have to bring God into the picture. I'm doing my work, I'm doing my work, I'm in work. And then usually we bring the other into the picture and say, can't you just show up differently? Can't you just do this for me? Can't you just already catch on? Can't you just start seeing things the way I'm seeing it instead of directing it at them? We bring God into the picture and we say, dear God, this is what I need. These are my desires. This is what I'm working towards. Please fill my need. God will figure out a way how. It might be that your spouse or your partner, your Co worker, your friend, your sister is going to start showing up differently. Or it might be that somehow you no longer feel that tension between them. It's. Speaker 4 Really. God. Literally. Speaker 1 Has to be a critical ingredient in any relationship, not just between the husband and wife. In any relationship, God has to be the intermediary. I have a need, I do my part, I turn to God and I say, this is what I'm feeling here. Can you, can you help? We don't have to let go of our needs and our desires by all means. We just have to stop projecting them onto the other person. The other person can't be the one to fill the gap, the void, the tension, the stress, the nerves, the discomfort in me. We want them to sounds easy, snap my finger. They change and I'm and I'm feeling better and I fully fully believe that we can feel better, but we have to just ask to be between me and God and he'll figure out how to how to make that happen. God has, God absolutely has our essence and our desires and the things that we need in in his, in his treasure box. We are attached to how it has to happen. We're attached to the form of how that has to be channelled into us. If we let go over the form, hang on to the essence of the desire, hang on to the essence of the need and say, God, I trust you more than I trust myself that these needs could be filled. I just don't. Speaker 4 Know how you please. Speaker 1 Help. Help me, Yeah. Speaker 4 And it's interesting because I came. Speaker 5 To the point where I just started actually grieving the part, like just just holding on to that brief like saying, you know what, maybe I just have to accept the fact that this is a package deal and we're all package deals. And, you know, we all have our. So maybe it will be this way and maybe that's OK. But maybe also, instead of doing that, I really have to look more inside myself and see how I can do it with greater integrity to really show up. I mean, I'm already bringing that sham in so that that piece is there, but I'm thinking the piece that's missing is that perhaps I'm not with enough integrity around it. OK, So what you're saying actually is I'm so. Speaker 1 Grateful you brought the grief part up because the integrity part that's that was a Part 1 that I said working on bringing making this about me. The grief actually fits in very much into the bringing God in. It really does because in order to let go of one way I have to grieve it. That's the human thing. I was attached to a certain an outcome. I was attached to a certain form. I was attached to a certain agenda and grieving is going to be the natural process of letting go of it. It's something I it was a dream I had for 10 years. I'm going to have to grieve the loss of that dream. Let go so I can open my arms to receive it in a different way. It's going to come at me because God, what does it say? You know, God, God fills the needs of all all those who seek him. Mother, I'm I'm saying the, the the the verse from it's from Tehelm. It's in benching dur Durisha Hashem liasu kholtaif. Those who seek God lack no good, no, no good is lacking to them and we we will get all the good that we need. We have to let go so we can open up and. Speaker 4 Letting go, letting go. Speaker 1 Includes grief. It does. It's that's the human. That's the human process of moving on. And, and again, moving on doesn't mean I'm moving away. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm letting go of this relationships. That means I'm letting go of this form that I've attached to so that God can give it to me in the way he thinks it's going to work. Yeah, my agenda. Speaker 4 Very helpful. Thank you. Speaker 1 You're welcome. All right. Are we done? Speaker 4 Anything else? Grateful to have you all here. Same. Speaker 1 Place same time next week. It's a sham. Speaker 4 Bye. Thank you, Tibi. Thank you.