Tanya Chapter 12- Class 14

Setting the Stage: Understanding the Beinoni's Unique Path So today, today's. Speaker 2 Class was sponsored by Hani Fein. The beautiful sponsorship and merit of a refua Shalima for her father Ilya, who Lieb Ben Esther Itka sending a prayers and wishes that he experienced God mirror God's miracles and Hani wrote a beautiful dedication to her father. She wrote that he's a true example of learning and internalizing Hassidas in a way that embodies his entire life and way of life. He's a great role model for how one could take deep and esoteric topics and make them more tangible and practical to himself and to those around him. Beautiful, beautiful dedication. And it truly it feels like an honor to to be able to learn today. I mean his merit, honey. Also dedicated in honor of her son's upcoming 4th birthday, her son Avraham, whose joy for life, learning and deep continuous questions keep us on our toes. Always beautiful. May Avraham continue to give your entire family a lot of nachos and may be a year full of blessings for him and the entire family. We hope it never stops. That's what she wrote as well. So absolutely, may his questions continue. OK, so chapter 12, Heracute bees after covering the Russia on one end of the spectrum and the topic on the opposite end, we are now up to the Benani. Now here's a little teaser for all of us. It's going to be a very intimidating standard that the Benani that this Benani is, but the Tanya makes it clear and it's kind of it gets to give away by calling this the safer she'll be anonym that this is the level that all of us can. Speaker 1 And therefore all of us should strive for. So a very super quick review of the past up until now, we're we're mapping out the inner battle that defines the human experience, this constant tension between the animal soul and the godly soul. Whichever 1 prevails. What we know about this so far is that whichever 1 prevails, it doesn't just influence our behaviors, it's going to define the person's identity. When the animal soul dominates, when the left side of our heart is in control, that person is referred to as a Russia. And when the godly soul is fully and permanently victorious, not just dominating externally, but dominating the internal experience, that's the story. That's the state of Atavik. The Constant Inner Battle and External Alignment of the Beinoni So what is a Benini then? If the moment that the animal soul wins, you're already falling to Russia category, What's the state of a Benini? So this this chapter begins by telling us that the Benini is not someone who sometimes wins and sometimes loses the the inner, the inner war, the inner struggle for dominance over the city. The Benini is someone who's animal soul actually never ever gains control, not even in thought, not in speech, not in action. So unlike the Sadiq internally, the struggle is very, very real. The animal soul is alive. The animal soul's act that it's constantly pushing, but it never this is this is an underlined a sentence here. The animal soul never crosses the line into expression. So the bane on me lives with constant internal tension. But every single time, the godly souls, the one that determines what actually gets thought, what gets said, what gets done, the animal soul never gains control of the Labushim. We've talked about this in past chapters of Labushim are the ways that a person expresses himself. And of course, it's not just that, you know, just this is this is obvious, but I'll say it anyways. It's not just that the Benini avoids doing wrong. The Benini is actively doing good. He fulfills mitzvahs constantly, completely. Every thought, every action, every word is in alignment with his godly soul, with God, with truth. Now, on top of that, the Tanya makes a statement. It says the light of our Avira Miyamov, not only is the being an E not sinning now sinning, not doing wrong now, not living out of alignment, but he never ever committed a sin in his life, nor will he ever commit one, not even for a moment. These are words from the Tanya. Not even for a moment was he ever considered a Russia. So obviously this line here needs a little bit of clarification. And it's it's great clarification because it helps us understand what is this? What is the consciousness of the being an E? Because what, what this line is saying, like Avar Aveira Miamov, he never considered committed a sin in his life, nor will he. It doesn't mean that this person never that somebody who has sinned is never going to become a Benani because that would eliminate all of us from the Benani equation. And then what are we sitting here learning this book for? What it's describing here is a state of being. The Benani lives in this present reality, in his present reality, or in her present reality. Speaker 2 He. Speaker 1 We are entirely the Benini is entirely removed from wrongdoing, past, present, and future. Acting in a way that is not in alignment with God's will in this moment is inconceivable to the Benini. In this present state of consciousness. He would never do that. Speaker 2 If he did sin in the past, I should keep trying to say she. I use he is like this general term. But you know, look, I'm going to try to just use she for all of us. Speaker 1 If she did sin in the past or she did act out of alignment, she's done complete teshuva, not the kind that we described by the Russia last week. We talked about when you know Russia regrets is forgiven, ultimately falls back into the same patterns because nothing was uprooted internally. The Benin E chuva is different. It's very thorough, it's transformative. She's no longer dysregulated by those impulses on the left side of the heart or by the narratives that they generate. She has clarity. She has awareness when they get triggered and therefore has capacity to choose to not allow them to take up space. So those past behaviors and those past reactions, they no longer belong to her. If if a man and he was faced with the exact same challenge, this time she's not going. Speaker 2 To fall short. Speaker 1 So here again, what I want us to do, I'm I'm going to pause us for a moment and do something similar to what we did when we talked about the Taldek. I want you to think for a moment. Think about a challenge in your life that used to be very consuming, the way you reacted to your spouse, to your child, to the workplace, to to an employee, to a neighbor, to a parent, whatever it was. Think about something that used to be a challenge, used to consume a lot, but it's not. It no longer takes up space, but, but here's the key detail. The trigger is still present, but you have full mastery of the way you respond to it. You used to have a very strong internal reaction, which always led to an impulsive triggered response. But today you see it while it's happening and you choose to respond differently in a way that it might be challenging. It's a hard, it's a, it's a challenging response. It takes a deep breath and it takes active choice, but it's one that's aligned with your values. OK, think about that. If you want, you could share it with us in the text, maybe later at the. Speaker 2 End of the at the end of this. Speaker 1 Class you can we can bring to mind you know, you can share it with us. I asked this question specifically at this point because your own experience might help us understand the obvious question. We have a question here. We describe what the Benini is. And so if the Benini never sins and lives in alignment with God's will, then why isn't he at Sadiq? What's still missing? So to answer that we're I'm going to bring in a reminder from a few chapters back about this critical distinction between the difference between the Lavashian, the garments of the soul, and the essence of the soul itself. The Benani's mastery is limited to the Lavashian, as you can see within your own example. There might still be a a strong internal reaction, but the way you respond, the way you express yourself, that's where you have mastery in your thought, in your speech, in your action, that's where where the mastery is. But in the words of the Tanya, ACH Mohus, the ATS must not officially kiss the essence, though the Mohus, the essence of the godly soul, Laila hen levada namlu Kava. Inshallah. But you're Aktana, the essence of the godly soul, does not hold undisputed sovereignty. This is translation. Doesn't not hold domination or sway over the small city. The Benini lives steadily with this inner tension, right? If in your own example that I asked you to bring to mind, you might still be getting very triggered, but you've mastered the way you respond to it. The godly soul in the Benini always prevails, but only because he stays actively engaged, steadily conscious. So there's very real victories, but they're never final. Like there's no room for complacency here. The left side of the heart continues to send it's, you know, Clipa framed messages, survival, comfort, control. And the Benin, he feels that pull, experiences that resistance, but he doesn't act on it. Again and again, again and again, he chooses to align his thoughts, his speech, his actions with his godly soul. Now compare that to the Tardic for the topic. There's no inner conflict. There's no competing voices. There's no divided control. Everything within him, his internal voices are aligned with in his service of God. His internal voices are fully aligned with his godly soul's will. Of course, at the other end of the spectrum, we have the the Russia whose animal soul does take control, who does get control of the thoughts each in action. Bringing Savory Pleasure to God Through Consistent Effort So again, another important clarification here is that the Benini doesn't sit somewhere like, you know, in the middle of the spectrum. There's a Tadik on one end, there's the, the rush on the other end and the Benini somewhere in the middle. The Tadik and the Russia, sorry, the Tadik and the Benini are not stages along the same path. They're not like on the same continuum. It's not that a Benini with enough growth is eventually going to become a Tadik. They're actually 2 fundamentally different tracks of, of avaida of inner work. The Tadik represents the person whose inner world has been completely refined. The Bain and eBay contrast could look exactly like a Tadic, identical to a Tadic on the outside, the way we might see a person could look like a Tadic expressing himself, just like a Tadic expressing herself just like a Tadic. But internally, the struggle's very alive. And, and here's why it's important for us to know this. It's important for us to know this. And it's also very empowering for us to know this because if you happen to be in that space, if you're sitting in that tension, and if you're feeling very exhausted from steadily having to choose again and again and again, you work through something and then you're back in that loop and constantly having to choose, steadily being triggered by something that you thought you finally like had a little mastery over. Knowing this idea here that the Binani is not on the track to become Azadic. This helps us realize we're not failing. You are standing exactly where the Tanya says the being in his work lives. The rabbit emphasizes this the rabbit. There's a commentary here from the rabbit which happened happens to be rooted in a in a the Tanya's leader chapters where he tells us he's like there's two different forms of pleasure that a person could bring to God. Maybe you've possibly heard this Hamashal this idea. It's, it's an idea and Hassidis that there's two different kind of delicacies. There's sweet delicacies and there's savoury delicacies. Now one's not better than the other. They're just two different flavors. The topic represents the kind of delicacy that's sweet, you know, that's, that's the sweet kind. There's complete alignment. There's no struggle. But the Benini brings something totally just as delicious, just as precious to God. His effort, his restraint, his current, his, his, his courage to choose over and over correctly despite all the noise. Over and over again he chooses. And every single time he does that, it matters. Every single time we notice the internal tension, we choose to pivot in the direction of the godly soul's voice. Every single time we don't follow the pull. This brings profound satisfaction to God, not despite the noise, but literally because of it. How Prayer Creates Moments of Tzaddik-like Inner Alignment Now, of course, there's going to be more on that in the later chapters, but because the rabbit noted, you know, made a commentary on these words, I it felt important to bring it here, but back into the flow of the Tanya here. So we say the Benini gains no control, steady control. He doesn't have full sovereignty. And then the author of it goes on to tell us that actually there are very specific times where he does, except for very specific times when the Benini does have internal peace. When does this godly soul reign supreme? Anybody want to guess? You looked inside the Benini has sovereignty during prayer because during these designated. This is a fascinating idea that that is taught here and I'm going to go off a little bit on a tangent. It's just a few lines here, but I wanted to I wanted to, you know, give clarity to it during these are actually lines from this chapter. So I'm I'm not actually going off on a tangent during designated times for prayer. There is what's known as Mychen the godless. There's expanded consciousness in heaven and we when we pray, we can tap into that consciousness, meaning there's this opening for more divine awareness. There's this awareness that becomes available to us when we dive in, when we pray, when we engage in prayer during these times, we can tap into this expanded consciousness and this shapes our awareness and it shapes our awareness of reality. This awareness is what allows us to move from klepa consciousness, which is the animal soul frame of mind into a more godly soul perspective. And that's going to be an equation for inner peace. So this is how the the Benini arrives at this place of like during certain moments, there isn't that tension, there isn't the screaming voice of his animal soul. And the author of explains it like this, this, this is a little bit of an attention here recently, But what happens is when we we the Shema prayer, what happens in Shema, we're making this declaration. Shmai Asra al Shama Lokinu al Shemaqad. We make this declaration of a knowing, this absolute clarity that we have in our godly soul, that God, everything is God, everything comes from God. This is all part of God's oneness. But in order to arrive at the place we're we're going to actually feel that love in the next chapter in the next paragraph, we have to go through a little bit of a a process. These are the blessings before Shema. There's this, the Hakaman set up, the specific paragraphs before the prayer of Shema so that when we declare God's oneness, we could then move into the space of actually feeling it in behalf when we say to love God. So, so just just recapping what I said here, that when we say Shema Israel, we're expressing the awareness that already exists in our mind. This is how the godly soul sees reality. God's oneness is clear, it's present, it's real, and there's absolute safety and bliss in that. Like the anxiety is fully relieved in that space. But we're going to have to do a little bit of inner work in order to get to the next line where it says be a hafta, Sashama al kaha, you should love God with all your heart. To know something in my mind is not a finished process. Now I need to actually feel it in my heart. And then that from there it's going to, you know, extend it to my entire nervous system. So this needs the work which we've discussed in the past, this work from going from kahma to Bina to Das, to arrive at this felt sense of, of God's oneness. And what the Tanya's telling us in this chapter is that during prayer, during this time of expanded consciousness in heaven, we have much greater capacity for that to evolve. Because the challenge is that, you know, the beanie's baseline. The baseline of a beanie is that one side of his heart understands and perceives this truth and the other side, the animal soul, does not perceive this truth. And therefore it's driven by survival. It's driven for safety, control, comfort. And that part doesn't just it doesn't disappear just because the godly soul understands, just because the godly soul knows that God is 1 and God is present. That's not enough for the animal soul. So it's not enough to just to clear this truth. Shema Israel. The point is that the heart should actually feel it, that even the animal soul should be affected so that the entire heart could come to love God. And so this is the again, this is the blessings before the Shema. Again, I'll just say it very briefly here. I just, I'm very moved by these, these ideas. And so I wanted to, I wanted to share it here because I, you know, somebody actually on the, who was it was Haya Haya had Haya Wilhelm. I posted something on the group chat about prayer. And so I just felt like I want to elaborate on it since she brought everyone into that experience. The first bracha, the Eitzer auruvaira Haishikai. We have that on the, the, the, the blessings about Hashem's greatness. It's describing the greatness of creation, the worlds of the, the, the angels, everything is completely nullified before God. The idea of this prayer, when you meditate on it, it's meant to speak directly to the animal soul, which comes from that realm. It's that's where the animal soul is, is sourced and it helps it loosen its grip. It's like speaking directly to the animal soul and it says you don't have to operate from self protection. You too are part of God. And then comes the paragraph of, of asylum describing Hashem's love for us. And when a person becomes aware, aware of that, that he's being killed, he's being cared for, he's being loved, then the natural response to that is going to be a reciprocated love. So the quieting of the animal soul and the softening and the loosening of its grip is happening in real time while we dive in. When we have awareness, obviously we want to bring conscious intention, kavana and awareness to this process. So then the Benin is not just the clearing, the truth when he says schma, he's actually arriving at it. He's able to actually feel this love for God that the, the godly soul knows. And in that state, the whole internal dynamic is going to shift. The right side of, of his heart has full sovereignty and the left part, the, the part that's usually driven by survival isn't going to fight. It leans into it. It feels that sense of safety, that sense of connection, that sense of being held in God's presence. So during these moments, the Benini is living in a state that resembles the Tadaq, when his entire being is aligned the godly soul's belief system, and the godly soul's perspective is dominating the whole, the whole being. Now, of course, after prayer, what happens? The beanie goes back to being a beanie. That sense of safety, that feeling of connection that the animal soul was able to lean into is not fully present anymore. That expansiveness fades and the left side of his heart reactivates and the impulses come back online. And yet nothing, nothing has been lost because the bean and he never allows again the bean and he never allows those impulses or those desires to gain control over his thought, his speech, and his action. How is that possible though? How is this steadily available to us to steadily make choice? Accessing Executive Function: Mind's Rule Over the Heart Because like I said, this is this is the level that the altar is telling us. Each one of you has the capacity to achieve this. So what does the altar, but goes on to explain how is this possible to the beanie to steadily choose. Here he introduces this fundamental principle, which anybody who's studied Tanya has heard this before, this idea of Hamaya Shalit al Haleif the mind rules the heart, that is the natural capacity. It is not just reserved to few. This is a natural capacity of every person, every healthy person. And this is exactly what the Tanya calls on each one of us to live as a beanie. Because inside of a healthy human being, the heart can pump all of its impulses, but the mind naturally has the capacity to rule it. I'll explain. We'll, we'll, we're going to spend the next half of the class understanding this. We'll understand what does it mean that the mind naturally rules the heart. We are not. Speaker 2 Talking again, this is where I'm bringing back something that we already I kept injecting this in our in the past chapters every time we talked about the the thoughts of the animal soul. Speaker 1 I I made us aware of this idea here. The thoughts that come from the animal soul. This is not the mind that we're trying to access. Those thoughts are part of the impulse itself. Those thoughts rise from the heart, they travel to the brain. They immediately start rationalizing, justifying, planning, figuring out how to act in a way that's going to preserve comfort, that's going to protect us from perceived threats and when a person is in that state, when a person is in fight, flight or freeze. That's the survival brain that they have access to in that moment. You're not accessing executive functioning. You're not accessing the perspective of the godly soul. You're operating entirely from a survival driven thinking. So what does Mayak mean with the mind that the author is referring to? This is the executive capacity within us, the part that can step back, that could become aware and could choose. It's the part of the person that can go beyond that immediate impulse, but that only becomes accessible when a person's in a regulated state. When there's enough calm, when there's enough grounding, when there's enough space, then the mind could actually lead. Then a person can access the perspective of the godly soul. Then he could be Shalit. He could take control, he could rule. You know, remember last week we were contrasting this with the Russia who keeps getting driven by the impulse. He doesn't pause enough to notice. Why am I in the state of dysregulation right now? Right? We use the example of the person who's always running late and even though they feel bad and they do this, you know, Cheshuva, they they commit never to do it again. What ends up happening? They fall right back into the behavior because they're not bringing awareness to why this keeps happening. So I I don't want to spend time repeating everything from last week. I want to continue here in the flow of the Tanya. The Benini has capacity of my child Allah leave because he had he's able to regulate himself. He could move out of survival mode, out of the script of instinct and into this conscious aware state where he actually has access to his thinking skills. And from there he could make a real choice. And and it's like what I'm explaining here. It's not a spiritual concept. It's a very physiological 1A regulated nervous system has access to critical thinking and choice making. We are going to bring in the this spiritual element here of the Tanya, which is how we bring the godly soul on board in order to bring this state of regulation. So the Altarva continues to explain her that even though the left side of the heart might still be full of impulse and noise and competing energies, the Benini still is able to redirect towards holiness. How? This is where he introduces the idea of and, and I, I did quote this last week as well. He quotes it's from Michele, I think, Veraisi, Shayesh Yisra and Lachman Minasilos, Kiyistran, Harman Akasha. He quotes Shlaima Malekhitz saying that light, just like light, has inherent superiority over darkness, where even a little bit of light can automatically dispel an entire room of darkness. He says that's the model that he's giving the bean. Any this is a tool that we have a small amount of weirdness, awareness from the godly soul, Yistran, hahaha, Mina, syphilis. There's this little bit of awareness from the godly soul, a little bit of clarity, a little bit of presence, a little bit of perspective, a little bit of compassion can override a much larger intensity of confusion, of impulse, of survival energy that's coming from the left side of our heart. And the author recalls all of this stuff in the animal soul. He calls it shdos. It's foolishness, it's confusion, it's a distortion of perception. When we are in fight, flight or freeze, it's a very real experience for the animal soul, but it is a distortion of reality. And this is the critical point here, that the only time the doctor calls us shtus, because the only time that a person ever acts against a deeper truth, against alignment with God, is when he's overcome by a ruach Shtus, a state of foolishness. Meaning that nobody, nobody actually wants to disconnect from their source. Nobody truly wants to live out of alignment. No one. A Jew never, ever wants to be separated from his truth. The only reason it happens is because in that moment, awareness collapses the nervous systems in survival, the mind is hijacked by fear and urgency. And in that state we forget what's actually real. We forget that we are within God's presence. And once that forgetting happens, the system starts generating solutions that are survival strategies. That's what we're referring to as just here. So when the godly soul brings even a small amount of clarity back online, when awareness returns, when regulation returns, that foolishness can't hold its ground. And that's where the Benini has his power from. He's not eliminating the left side of his heart. It's not that he, he has, you know, that, that confusion, it's not gone forever, but he's not letting the confusion become the final voice. That's the power of the Benini. Dochehu b'shtei yadayim: A Godly Soul's Tool for Growth He brings awareness back into the system and now he has capacity for the mind to rule the heart. The impression that was left inside of him from that love that he felt during prayer along with his author explains here in a few short sentences. Along with the love that comes concealed within the heart of every single Jew, which more on that in later chapters that empowers him with this capacity. As soon as the impulse rises up within the mind, what does he do? It comes from sorry. The impulse comes from his heart, rises up into his mind. What does it mean? Any do? Immediately the altar over here brings in another sentence which I'm sure is familiar to anyone who studied Tanya. He pushes it away with two hands. Daishayu bishaya dayem umasiya tatai. And he averts his mind from it. Miyaad Shaniskar Shahuhirah. The moment that he realizes this is not a truth, this is a fragment and this is coming from internal fragmentation. This is a animal soul voice. Immediately he realizes and he pushes it away with two hands. This this is the final point that the altar of actually brings in this chapter. But I'm going to spend a little time on it because somehow it seems to be the most misunderstood, misinterpreted sentence in Latonya. Before I actually started teaching this class, I had done a I had done an, a podcast episode on these few words. It was when it showed up in the Tanya when it was a daily fetus. I, I wanted to share my thoughts on this. So I had done a little podcast episode. And so if any of you heard it, this may be a little repetition, but it feels very important to to discuss it here in this chapter. The author ever tells us that when an impulsive thought comes into our mind or when a difficult emotion present itself, they say you wish they are dying. We push it away, we remove it from our mind. And he gives examples. He tells us that when we sense a feeling of jealousy or anger or resentfulness, those are the examples he uses. We don't give them space. Our mind controls the impulse. We bring the our mind controls the impulse and we don't even give it a thought. On the contrary, we even have the capacity. He tells us. This is what the author tells us. We even have the capacity to act, to behave in the exact opposite way of this feeling. So, so here's the big question. And we'll, we'll, we're going to emphasize a lot a lot on that too, that ending. But first the question this I, I get presented with this over and over and over because in today, every therapeutic, I don't know every but the, the very, the progressive therapeutic processes encourage people to sit with their emotions, to presence with the feelings that are alive in our body. And the author was telling us here, push it away with two hands, right? So are we paying attention or are we pushing them away with two hands? How does this align? How do these two ideas align with each other? So in order to explain it, the first thing I'm going to do is explain what they tell you Bashaya Daim does not mean because it's very important to realize that the energy behind this push is a godly soul energy. The altar of is giving us a tool for our godly soul to use when our animal soul is having a very animal soul type of reaction. So here's for example, I see somebody else's life. I have, I'm experiencing jealousy, OK, I see what's going on in somebody else's life. I, I see what somebody else is experiencing. And I'm, I have this internal reaction of jealousy. I'm sure everyone here could relate. It's a very uncomfortable, very consuming feeling. What's typically, it's typically followed with a sense of shame and a sense of inner judgement, like why am I being so pathetic? What is wrong with me? Why can't I just focus on the good things that I have? And so without awareness, what's happening is I unconsciously try to shut down this emotion. I try to pretend it's not here. I refuse to acknowledge it. What's happening there? I'm I'm going to explain to you there in, in a very psychological process or even using the Tanya words, one part of my animal soul is trying to control another part. My inner judge or my inner critic, my inner shamer is trying to repress my jealousy. There is no godly soul involved here, and the proof is in the pudding because it doesn't work. The process backfires on us. Imagine you're, you know, I'm going to give you a little analogy here that I've used in the past. Imagine you're in the pool and you're trying to hold down an inflatable ball. You're trying to keep the ball underwater. You have to work very, very hard and you have to exert a lot of energy. And the second that you stop, the second you neglect the process, the ball pops right up to the surface. This is what's happening with emotions that we're trying to repress, these unacknowledged emotions, the emotions that we refuse to acknowledge our present. What's wrong? There's nothing. No, I'm not jealous. It's not that bad. You know, like we, we pretend it's not there if we're not processing it, if we're not paying attention to this emotion and literally allowing it to move to our body, literally in a very literal way, by noticing it in our body, noticing where the tension is and bringing compassion to it. We can talk about the therapeutic process after, but if we're not processing it, trying to pretend it's not there, it's going to end up showing up. The the ball pops up, there's heaviness on my heart. I'm going to be irritable, I'm going to be short tempered with my kids when they walk in the door, all in the name of pretending that I'm not jealous. You know, another little example of woman I was working with, she was sharing how she was feeling very hurt in relation to a friend and she was trying to pretend it wasn't there. So how does she pretend it's not there? By distracting herself, right? Just let's use the example we used the last week. You get on your phone and you numb yourself by by scrolling. But because she's pretending it's not there. Later, when her friend reached out, all she could sense inside of her was numbness. Like a total disconnect, a complete lack of presence. In other words, again, one part of the animal soul came to numb the other part, the animal soul's narrative came up with the story of her. That's what our survival parts do. They attach old details to new experiences and they created a very painful narrative around this friend. Now that part felt so uncomfortable, that hurt feels so uncomfortable. So the other part comes in and numbs it with a distraction. But that kind of pushing away doesn't work. So this is not what they say, which the adiah means. It does not mean that one part of the animal soul comes in and and pushes away another part, trying to control the reaction of the of the other part. So what is this? Speaker 2 Tool then that the altar EB is offering the Benini. Speaker 1 So as we understand, like I, I emphasize this, but I'll say it again, and emotion needs to be acknowledged, It needs to be contained, it needs to be processed. It needs to be calm. Just like a kid who's throwing a fit, the kid who's crying cannot hear a word that you're saying until you calm them down. So I might want to talk to my animal soul and update it. I want to give it all the reasons it shouldn't feel jealous. My mind, my God, the soul happens to have a full value system around jealousy. First of all, it knows that my worth is not defined by these things, and it also knows that everything that was allotted to me is is weird. I'm not going to find pleasure in my friend's riches. That's it was never allotted to me. It was never mine, mine to to. It was never mine to transform or to elevate. I want to share my gratitude list with my animal soul. I have an entire list of things that I, I know in my mind, but my animal soul cannot hear any of it. The left side of my heart is flooded with an uncomfortable sensation and it does not hear what my what what my godly soul has to say. There's no Maya Shaltala leave here until my nervous system has calmed down and I can access my thinking parts and all the values that they want to share. So how do I get this Maya Shaltala leave? We have to starting by engaging with this emotion in order to deactivate it. Daisheu Bishayadayam becomes the first step in that process. We notice the emotion and we push it away, meaning we UN blend from it. We externalize it. I am not it. It is not me. I'm Tibi. And this is a part of me that's having a reaction. The act of pushing away is the simple act of creating the psychological separation between me, my truth, and this part. It's called unblending. From it, I'm separating myself. I removed from my When I say I, I removed. The author ever uses the word Mesiah Tata. Hesel hadas was a word that the rebel often used. It was often encouraged. People who were working through depressive moods or anxiousness or whatever struggle. The rebel encouraged Hesel hadas. He was telling us, remove your mind from it. It means do not let yourself be defined by this narrative. This isn't your story. I am not a jealous person. Not only isn't it my story, but I'm not going to let it define the way that I see the other person or the experience that triggered this emotion. Once I'm able to push it away, once I'm able to see, oh, a part of me is having a really jealous reaction, it's so much easier and it's so much more attainable to proceed with Escoffia. This feeling's not going to drive my thought. It's not going to drive my speech. It's not going to drive my action. It's just the part of me that's having an intense reaction, but it's not my whole story. There's a part in my animal soul and it's reacting and it's feeling jealous and it needs to be processed. I'm human, I have human parts. There's no shame here. There's no need to judge, There's no need for the inner critic to come and repress this feeling. Not only is there no need for shame, On the contrary, the rabbit tells us something. So. Speaker 2 Beautiful about this process. Speaker 1 He says if you would only realize that the entire reason this feeling was triggered inside of you was so that you could move through this process of Escoffia, so that you could give nachos Ruach to Hashem. The Rebbe is telling us that in the process of gaining mastery over this emotion by not letting it define the way you view yourself, not letting it define the way you view, the way you engage with others, in that process you are bringing delightful pleasure to God. Like we said earlier, you are bringing this savory delicacy. And, and the Rebbe elaborates on this in such a beautiful way. He says when you have this attitude, when you have this mindset around this difficult emotion, then you're able to do what the altar rabbit tells us after he says, not only should you push it away with two hands, not only should you remove your mind from it, you should be like Yosef who repeats kindness. The other person trigger jealousy or, or, or resentment or anger inside of you. Go be like Yosef and repay him with kindness. And you might look at this and be like, really, that's completely out of reach. But the rabbit says, no, it's not out of reach. When you have this, this, this perspective. This jealousy was triggered inside of me so I can give God pleasure, not because I'm a failure. I'm not triggered with jealous jealousy because I'm pathetic. I'm able to to be like Yosef and his brothers and repeat them with kindness because this, this the Tanya is giving us this, this complete reframe the moment that we see each one of these experiences not as a shameful experience, not as a failure, not as a frustration that we're back in the same loop, but rather as an opportunity to bring light into the world, to give God nachas. This jealousy is showing up inside of me, not because I'm pathetic and not because I'm unevolved. Jealousy showed up so that I could notice it, so that I could push it away with two hands and let my mind rule my heart. I'm not going to let this jealousy control my thoughts, not my words, not my deeds. And in that moment, I'm offering God a savoury delicacy that delights Him. If this became my awareness every time jealousy or resentment showed up, then we are going to start seeing the person who triggers us as a gift. They are offering us an opportunity to grow ourselves. They are offering us an opportunity to shed one more layer of our protective parts, one more layer of Klipa so that the real meat could emerge. You know, something that I often share this with women, It's like if your core is like the, the imagine I'm just using an onion. Maybe there's a sweet, delicious fruit that does this, but I can't think of 1. The core is your, your truth, your authentic self. And everyone in these narratives is like one more layer. So it's not that you're going in loops. It's like you peel back one layer, you're coming a little deeper to your truth. Resistance shows up because like we said, that's what the animal soul does. It's here as resistance to help us find our core. And we begin to see these moments as like, oh, it's an opportunity for growth. It's an opportunity for shedding a layer. And literally in the, in the most somatic way, when you're presencing with the sensations, your feelings, the intensity of the jealousy or that overwhelm of resentment or anger or whatever, showing up literally as you're processing this to experience it as a shedding of a layer that's falling off. 1 less layer of creep of consciousness so that I can see the world through truth, through the lens of truth. Imagine that every single time we're activated or triggered, instead of going into a story of blame, he is so this or she is so that you take the focus off of the other person and you turn the lens inward and you see the wounded side of you that was just poked. And you have this opportunity now to re parent these parts, to update these parts. Literally every single trigger becomes a growth opportunity. This opportunity, like I said, to peel back one more layer of blockage. This restricted narrow minded, this this narrow minded perspective of the animal soul. And we, this is where we can move into that more expansive point of view, this much more expansive way to experience life. This is this is the entire life of the Benini. It's filled with this work of Escoffia, noticing the impulse, refraining, refraining from it, noticing the animal soul's narrative and choosing over and over and over to align with truth. And how does this entire process evolve? It starts with this tool of the chaos, pushing it away, unblending from it. Q&A: Meditative Davening and Experiential Inner Transformation Push it away with. Speaker 2 Two hands. I think that's it. That's the end of this chapter. Any any questions ladies? Any thoughts? Any any of your own personal experiences? Come closer with your smile. Speaker 3 Feel like I need to listen to it in at least six times. Speaker 1 Do it. It's, you know what? It's if you're, you're right, because it's not it's, it's a cognitive knowing. Speaker 2 But it's literally a very, very embodied therapeutic practice that the altar of is offering us here. Speaker 3 But jumping back to the beginning, could you elaborate? Like, it kind of took me by surprise, like where is Nephesh? Where is the vein? Any comfortable? And I didn't know where that was going to go. After you answered it, I thought, Oh yeah, right. I learned that, but I don't begin to understand it. You said that in davening the bend knees, you know, can be strong. In davening after davening, he goes right back. Now, obviously that's a product of a lot of work and a lot of preparation and a lot of learning and yesterday's hey, aim, I think it was or today's whatever. But but can you? One of the things that I really appreciate about this class is that you take concepts that are at some level familiar. I've heard it before, I've learned it. And it's like, I mean many of the holla, it's like on the moon, like I I can't connect in any way, shape or form once in a while. To say one word of dotting every 25 years is not exactly bane any material. But, and don't tell me that it is 'cause that's not what it's not gonna help right now. But can you, can you make that bridge? Can you flesh that out a little bit more? Sure. Speaker 2 So it's interesting that I actually should go back into the exact words of the Tanya and see what the altar of elaborated on. I'm not remembering his exact words, but it did feel very important to me to go off on that tangent and describe this, the bracha of Yezer R, the bracha of Asylum and the bracha of Schma. Because to me that and that was kind of the same answer I had given to to Haya who had messaged on the group about dhavaning. Speaker 1 Understanding we can the the the hassid is somebody who meditates and hassidas before he domines and understanding the meaning of these paragraphs is where they start to become this. The author of his whole avaida is in contemplation. It's all that Hakmabi nadas. The whole kebab hassidas is founded on Hakmabi nadas. The Abaida of Abinani is founded on Hakmabi Nadas, so it really does have to go through this process of profound meditation. It this is something that I focused. Speaker 2 On in the earlier chapters when we were talking about, you know, how, how the Benini, how we developed this love for Hashem, I talked. Speaker 1 A lot about the davening there as well, because it's truly something that is, it's an avaida. Davening is called an avaida because it's something we truly have to work on. I I can say that my personal experience around davening. Speaker 2 It's my I love dobbing. I used to be AI used to love learning. I still do, but that would be my favorite pastime like I used to. I was very, I was a big, I was like very much a thinker, very much a mind processor and and so learning things or whatever. Speaker 1 It was and you know, that's what filled me clearing the blockages and peeling back layers and having a little more access to godly soul consciousness and godly soul perspective has turned domining for me into a it's a dear cherished part of my day. And very possibly because this isn't that there's this experience of safety. There's an experience of, of feeling held. We don't there's no shortcut. You know, it's fascinating. I, there's this guy that I, I see on the Instagram a lot of his whatever, he's one of these manifesters, all these, you know, these big, oh gosh, what's his name? Joe Dispenza. That's what his name is. Maybe some of you are familiar. He, he's like all into manifesting and, and the stuff that he shears sounds very, very true. It's like it's, it doesn't sound like fake news. It sounds very true. And he has these huge retreats and he brings people into this energetic, you know, mind things where your mind could create this hold on. My camera's doing rear dancing, but when and I was looking at his stuff and I was realizing he's trying to get people to skip process like you go from he's trying to get you from Russia status. And I'm just using Tanya terms here. I'm not hospital. I'm attributing Tanya terms to his work, but just for our own reference point. It's like trying to get someone from Russia to Sadiq. You have to do the work. You cannot get there on your own. You could have a very inspirational moment. You could sit in a room full of people and have a very powerful for bringing. Speaker 2 Which is again. Speaker 1 Lahavdil, what he's, what he's offering there, you could have moments of inspiration, you could absolutely have these moments where you're just feeling so aligned. And that's what we that's what we do. That's what other citizens very much about. They would go to sit near a Rebbe and feel deep inspiration. But Kabal Khasidis came and said you have to do the work on your own. You can't take the shortcut because it's short and long way. So the avaida of davening that this question that you're asking, it's it's a beautiful question because it's bringing to your awareness that there's something that currently you don't have access to. But the author is saying he's bringing to our awareness. This is a massive tool available to us. We have to do the work. It's not a pill to swallow and it's not one day you open the sitter and you get there. But it's a meditative practice that you truly could arrive at, and my recommendation would be to start by picking up. I used to dive in in English for a while. Speaker 2 I would pick a paragraph at a time that I would say in English until it became like Barshammer in English. Then I would do the in English. So I know now today when I read them in Hebrew and and there's something about the Hebrew that's is much more. Speaker 1 It's there's something about the Hebrew letters alone that that just feels much more it just. Speaker 2 It aligns with my heart in a much more like I feel it even the words alone. So there's definitely, I'm very glad to have bounced back to the Hebrew, but my process. Speaker 1 Through this was saying a paragraph in English for a week of what? How? Whatever your Hebrew. If Hebrew is a big deal for you, say it for a month straight until that paragraph becomes. When you say it in Hebrew, you know exactly what you're saying. The the words are deeply meaningful. It's David Amalek is trying to give us the opportunity to feel what he felt. That's what that's what's happening in Tanya. I mean, I'm sorry, in the in the sitter. Does does that answer your question? Speaker 3 It it definitely starts it. I, I realize that I have to do the work of going back and listening to the earlier tapes that I missed, but it's a whole nother kettle of fish. Thank you. Yes, definitely. Speaker 1 Essentially the entire Tanya is the tool of the Tanya. Is is is meditation and contemplation is sachma bina das. There's no shortcut. Speaker 2 There is a shortcut, it's called a short long way, right? That's about the rabbit. And you know he introduces a Tanya by telling us there there are shortcuts. Speaker 1 Go get inspired. Avram Avramavinu was great at inspiring people. He brought people to God. He had a way of inspiring them. He probably gave these, you know, marvelous speeches, but his his flock like disappeared like the people left after a while. Yitzhak dug wells. We know that Yitzhak Zavaida was a deep He made people do the work. And that's how and they stayed because it wasn't just a moment of inspiration that they heard from the Rebbe. And then they moved on. They sat and they listened and they learned and they did the work. Speaker 2 And and they and and it became theirs. Speaker 3 I hear you. I hear you. Thank you. Speaker 4 Can I say something? Speaker 1 Please. Speaker 4 Lately I'm coming to the idea that prayer is not about begging the way prayer. Speaker 5 Is. Speaker 4 Brachas that we make, it's in present. We're thanking for what is and the way we learned it. I can speak for myself is we ask for things and really prayer is designed. We're thanking for what is, and on a personal level, I have found myself just thanking like Shabbos by the left. I just thanked. I thanked for that which I wanted to happen. I listen to anyone manifesting or none of that. I just listened to myself. It just wasn't befitting because if I'm asking for something, then on some level or begging, then on some level, I don't believe that it's here for me. So I would look at the left of this particular child and I would just say thank you for this. Like I would foresee the future, I guess, of the something that I want. And I'm, and I think that I also had a hard time with the sitter. I, I was very connected to the sitter for a long time. And then it became something that I could check off my list like done. I did that today and I felt like, no, it needed to be an upgraded version and I had to put down the sitter for a long while and go inward and find what prayer means for me. And I think more and more, and I'm starting to see it from different. At first it was just inside of me, but now I'm seeing more and more things come up about it. Confirmation that prayer is going into the belief that that already is. So then when we connect, we're thinking rather than begging does. Speaker 1 That make sense? What you're 100% it doesn't actually. Speaker 2 The word bracha, which we say so often, baracha, is it the, the word bracha comes from it's, it's a humshaha. It's all it's doing essentially is drawing down what already is. So that very much aligns with what what you're saying. Speaker 5 So. Speaker 4 I think that the prayer that we learned and the the God that we needed to beseech. Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I, I what you're saying is you're not. You're reframing. You're reframing. Speaker 2 It's not, it's not just we're coming to ask, we're coming to. I see it also as a, a, a connection. I mean that that's also the the idea of Tefila. Speaker 4 In the connection, in the in the connection, I'm already with that thing of what is. If you think about all the brachas, basically it's. Speaker 5 We're thinking, yeah, we're just thanking for what is that Hashem separates the that He creates light and that it's not like he will, He does. Speaker 2 And there are, There are, There are. Yeah, Similarly, it's true. We're saying it in a in a bracha format, yeah. Speaker 5 So. Speaker 2 We are asking, there's parts where we're asking and they end with the bracha format again, yeah. Speaker 5 Thank you. Speaker 1 100. Speaker 5 Percent right that he does it. Speaker 1 It's a yeah. Speaker 5 That it's here. So there it is, like. Speaker 2 A break up bracha is also a break up like a pool. It's like a a pool. It's already there, it's full, and we're the idea is that we're drying it down and bringing it into our lives. Speaker 5 Yes, and then I loved what you shared about the the regulated nervous system. And I think that and again, I'm, I'm marvel because I'm reading it from a different, I'm reading through a different and I would love to read through what you're reading from. But in my next round, the Tanya that I'm learning for the first time, I'm reading in a very cerebral masculine. And I love what you're saying about the heart because it's so true. I feel like everything that I can speak for myself and the people that I learned with. I guess everything was here so much. Maybe not everything, but so, so much was here and not much was to land and therefore didn't have where to land. And when you're and and I, I also do the the the I'm also busy with regulating the nervous system. Speaker 2 And in your work in your. Speaker 5 In my work, yeah. And, and I'm starting to feel that it's probably the highest currency one can have now, the highest currency that I know that is available to us because from that state, things can land from in that expansiveness, things can open up. It could land everything. And and now I'm understanding al of Aveh al of Aveh, like why I'll because it was all sitting on top of and then when it's opens and maybe maybe that was like the known thing that one day, one day down the future, because we haven't had, I don't know of generations that that did that. We're coming to the to the times where now it's about the heart and we haven't been in these times yet. Speaker 2 So I'm, I'm wondering, you know, during the altar of when he wrote this, what his, what his followers, what is the, the people he wrote this to? I'm assuming it was very relatable to them at that point. Speaker 5 So what? So OK, but it didn't come to the global teachings. Speaker 2 True. There wasn't. There wasn't language. You're saying there wasn't? There wasn't. Speaker 5 Language, maybe when they sat, you know, 1010 men in a little circle and it was private, it was one thing. Speaker 2 It's in, it's part of Teresa Shalmashiach, right? This is the Teresa Shalmashiach, which means that it is more redemptive consciousness, which the Rebbe has assured us over and over. Is that's it. Like we're here. Speaker 5 And I'm thinking. Speaker 2 This is why it's making so much sense to us. Speaker 5 Yeah, and I'm thinking that the Mashantov also had his private minion, but to the world, he he just related to their heart and he just related to their to, you know, to the Nephesh and to whoever they were, and in a very simplistic way, but he had his private. Speaker 2 Service. He he taught these ideas. In other words, he saw. He saw this capacity in every single one of us. Speaker 5 He yeah, but but then he had his private little right where he could delve into the teachings like he had his his minion of people that or whoever his students. But but he wasn't it. It wasn't given over to the Haman in in a way that everyone if yes, we would have been taught this. But I feel like in my generation, a lot of people in in my in my surroundings, what I'm seeing is that people are experiencing it on a personal level and they're opening and awakening up on a personal level experientially. And then the teachings can land. Maybe. Maybe that's no. Speaker 2 No, I'm not. I don't. I don't necessarily have a. Speaker 5 Because maybe you, Because maybe this teachings has always been with you, but with me. Speaker 2 No, no, 100%. There's no question that today the way that my life evolved and that it's landing in a way that it never has. The way I I read it today is not the way I read it five years ago or seven years ago or whatever. Speaker 5 Can I ask can I ask what changed for you and your personal life? Speaker 2 All the inner work. Yeah, the all the inner, in other inner work, the peeling back the layers, the understanding, even just this idea of the Hebrews day that I am to understand what that means. And not just from a philosophical cognitive experience. When, when you have a very real lived knowing of what that looks like in the most therapeutic way, then it's, you read those words and it's like, oh, obviously that's what it means. When you know what it doesn't look like, you know what it does look like, It's it's like you read the words like it didn't, it didn't take rocket science for me to understand what those words meant. I was like, oh, that's the obvious translation. Because that's how it works inside of our system there. It's one in the same. It's not like 2 separate things that we had to bridge. Like the altar was just literally explaining to us how it works inside of our psyche. There's two sides of your heart. 1 is very reactive, one has more cognitive processing capacity, etcetera. Speaker 1 And so having the lived experience. Speaker 2 Is what allowed me to understand Latonya in this way. Speaker 5 Right. Having the lived experience, that's what it is. OK, experiential. Speaker 2 Yeah. Speaker 5 Thank you. Speaker 2 Absolutely. Thank you. It's good to see you again. Speaker 5 Likewise good. Speaker 2 To have you here. Speaker 1 Ladies, any anything. Speaker 6 Else. Speaker 2 Good you're here by the way. I just want to offer to anyone if you're if, if there's a part of you that feels hesitant to ask questions, you could do it in the chat. You can ask your question in the chat and I and I could answer it out loud and I don't have to say your name. So I just want to offer that ability as well. Practical Steps: Shifting from Animal Soul to Godly Soul Narratives OK, so that I excuse me to say my name and I, I feel no coincidence. My name got spoken of a lot and that really resonated. Like, wow. I said, Abista, you needed me to hear something very important. So I appreciate and grateful that came up #1 #2 is I heard keywords that stood out and I want to put them together with your help. You said we need to do the work. I've heard we didn't have the language we do now and the whole concept of Shteya Daim. So for me is what does the work look like when you are explaining? Because we're hearing so many people say cerebral was the way to feel safe, the way we lived. That was Gullus. Our Safeway of living was to live cerebral. We were able to rationalize, figure it out, push away, get comfortable, not deal with. And now we're going to the heart. The heart is the Google estate and we've got both phases over there. Now I we, we're talking about it and it's good stuff. And to me it still feels a little more cerebral. And I would like to know what does it look and feel? I want to feel it. I want to think it. I don't want to think it anymore. I want to feel what that work could look like to push with two hands from a state of all this stuff that was tucked away and now making space for it. When you say we have to do the work and we didn't have the language and we do now, what does that look like in a very pragmatic, practical way? Speaker 1 So how much? Speaker 2 Time do you have? Speaker 1 This is like, first of all, everything what we're doing here is doing the work. We're sitting here and learning. Speaker 2 We came here to understand the Tanya in a way that is practical, pragmatic, literal, hands on. We want to. All of us are here doing the work, wanting to take the words of the Alto Reba and personalize them in our own lives. Speaker 6 Why? Speaker 1 We could be the human state. Speaker 2 Of of godly consciousness. So the work to me is this steady pivoting from animal soul narratives to godly soul perspective. It's What does it look like? Speaker 1 So on on a simple, most practical level, you notice a feeling of jealousy show up. Speaker 6 Yeah, let's do the. Speaker 1 Job the Russia the Russia runs with it. The Russia runs with it. Convinces that he feels this impulse. She should we say she, she. Speaker 2 Feels this the sense of jealousy. Hold on, I'm just checking if the give me a second. Sorry. OK, so so you're getting a a thank you for stating her question. So good. I'm answering two people at once. The Russia feels the jealousy. Speaker 1 Is 100% convinced this is true. This is a true. Speaker 2 Narrative There's something wrong with me. I my life would be so much better if I had what they had. What is Why am I always the victim? Why don't I get the things God must not love me. It's just so unfair. My life is whatever whatever it is that a persons feeling or just a very strong feeling of loneliness or or like I wish. If only I had that. Speaker 1 Trigger very good Whatever it is that jealousy is stirring up the Russia does not have conscious awareness that this is an animal soul perspective. Instead this feeling gets triggered and we run with it we start to feel completely dysregulated by our story. This becomes our truth. It's unfair. Unfortunately, sometimes it causes us to act we suddenly the the person who has becomes the bad person or the person who gave to them and not to you, but they in in friendships. You know there's a lot of scarcity like if they're being. Speaker 2 Loved on. That means there's not enough love for me to be loved on. And so we start to the the person who's offering the other person love. And I'm feeling jealous and I want. And how do I get her attention and how can I bring her? Speaker 1 Her gaze back to me because I'm living in an animal soul scarcity narrative and also the in the animal soul narrative of like God has what to give. But I know, you know, we believe in God, but I know that this is what I need right now and I need it from this person and I need it today and I need it that we become very obsessed with the exact agenda of like how I'm going to feel better. So the animal soul just takes over. It defines A narrative, which is our thought. It defines the things that we say. It defines the things that we do. Doing the work is the immediate realization that if this is a voice of fear, of anxiousness, of of of lack of trust, of need to control, of urgency, this is not the godly soul voice. The godly soul voice, just to define again, is a piece of God. It has clarity. It has trust in the process unfolding. It has deep knowing that every single thing that happens is handcrafted and orchestrated by God. It never feels the sense of I must I have to it just it it moves through or it moves through life with a sense of a God is beside me. I'm trusting this process so those that's just the first step. Number one is to the decade which day of dying. This is not a godly soul voice. I'm not letting it move. I'm not letting it control the narrative. Then we bring the the there's a process of. Speaker 6 Literature. Wait, I got to. I got to pause. I got to pause here because this is important for me. OK, what is that segue? Speaker 1 Here's the segue we're. Speaker 6 The calm, we're in the calm now we're talking. Speaker 1 About here's the segue. You're not calm yet because it's still percolating. Like I'm still feeling the tension. I know, I know deeply it's not true, but I'm still feeling hurt. And I know that next, you know, in, in the evening, I'm going to see that person who, who did this to me or, or causes. And I'm, I'm like having anxiety around what I'm going to how I'm going to react around them. So I notice the sensation in my body. This is the this is the nervous system regulation piece where we're bringing the godly soul. You turn her arm and Ahaisha, a little bit of clarity, a little bit of presence, a little bit of compassion. And this, this the compassion is a very big tool that the Altar AB uses. Literally. Speaker 2 Bringing it to my this is this is my practice. I based on, you know, all the, my training and the things that I work through and the things that the way that I've done my inner work. I'm sure there's other ways. Speaker 1 But to me, there's literally noticing the sensation in our body, finding that tension. Where is this feeling of jealousy sitting? It's like there's this lump in my throat, there's intensity on my chest. I feel, I feel tension in my shoulders. Everyone's is different, you know, like nervousness in my stomach, wherever it's showing up in your body, literally presencing with the sensation so that it moves through me. It is I'm having a limbicist or reaction here. My body is going into fight, flight and freeze and I need to be the parent who attunes to it to re bring safety back. So literally by finding it in our body bringing whether it's just tracking it like literally like as if you're the nurse who has to report on what's going on, just noticing, tracking this intensity, tracking how much space it's taking up. I also might have a practice I like to do is like bringing breath, like breath to it, like on the exhale, just like, you know, you inhale on the exhale. It's like you're literally sending love to that area. Speaker 2 Just like a muscle I've given also in the past is, you know, imagine the difficulty motion. This is your difficulty motion your entire nervous. Speaker 1 System or your entire body, your entire being is like a balloon that's been deflated out of the Earth, sucked. And so this is it. It's taking up all this space on the exhale, you're breathing space into this just literally the, the, the tension's just as big. Then this feeling is just as big, but I'm expanding myself around it. So it's like like literally bringing to that area. So these are just somatic practices of allowing the movement, the the sensation to move through us. Having brought that much compassion in, we now have access to other godly soul voices. We don't need to use mantras. I'm a good person. I'm that that arrives on its own. The clarity we have already like, like Freddy was saying before, like these truths are already sitting in us. We just have no access to it because the animal soul's voice, this rushdos, has come distorted our perception of reality and we don't see clearly. So this in this process of bringing even one or two ounces of compassion to this tension in my body, a little more clarity emerges. Compassion's the access key to the godly soul. We're bringing a little bit of light into this dark room, and it's going to banish it. It's going to let us move through it, and then you can make a choice. I'm not going to allow thought, speech, or action to define. That's it. So this is just one tiny practice of his kafia. The Benini does this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it becomes those pain points become so much less acute. You become the internal parent. You're the main voice in there so that these other protectors do not need to come jump out every time somebody looks in the other direction. You don't go into a story of, of, of low self worth because you know who you are. You've shown up for yourself over and over and over and over. Your parts start to get the message. You're like, she's home, she's here. We don't have to wreak havoc here in order to feel loved. I don't have to, you know, knock on someone else's door steadily in order to get attention. Speaker 2 I have an internal parent inside of me. Speaker 1 So that's that's just. Speaker 2 Everything in in short, you know, but is that is that resonating with you? Speaker 7 A definite good warm up. Speaker 2 This is it. If the Avaida is over and over like this is what I'm what I'm saying like the the the Beninese work is, is this steady, steady over and over and over and over. Speaker 1 And this is where it starts shifting like his HA moments arrive from the Siskafia. Speaker 2 Again, I'm jumping 1,000,000 miles ahead. It's too much for to, you know, like we're going to slow down and just stay with what we went with today. Transforming Judgment into Opportunities for Divine Pleasure So I want to just throw out there, the first thing that came to mind was I think the biggest, the biggest stumbling block that just showed up right now is the word judgement. Right away. That was the first word that came out. Speaker 2 Internal judgement. Speaker 7 And word judgement, like the judgement of whatever it is, you know, it's not enough. It is enough. I'm doing it right. I'm not doing it right. I tried it, it didn't work. I'm and and that vicious cycle of that judgemental, paralyzing state of. Speaker 2 OK, I bet you everyone. Speaker 1 Here can raise their hands and tell you how much they were made. Speaker 6 Yeah, that's why I threw it out. Speaker 2 There. So this is this is actually something I just said to somebody I was speaking with yesterday. I said I'm gonna, I said here's your accountability thing. When the judgement part comes in, I'm like, you're going to let me know what did you do when that judge came in? Speaker 1 What did you do when the judge came in immediately? Like, no, no, that's an old tool. That's an old tool. That's my animal soul's tool. Speaker 2 The altar gave me a godly soul tool here, my deck. He wished a dime. And what the rabbit emphasizes on this? Speaker 1 Teaching here how do we become like Yosef? By recognizing and realizing this. The reason this trigger came is not because you're a failure. The reason this trigger came is to give you this growth opportunity to bring divine pleasure to God. That's it. I am not a failure. I'm not pathetic. I'm not repeating loops. I'm God threw this into me in this moment so that I can have AI can do the scafia and, and the the cosmic significance that my little Activiscoffia, my tiny little, this little experience going on in my heart, which actually always feels so huge to us. I wanted to actually, you know, I'll say a point on that. It feels so huge because it is it, it, it's huge because it is not because it's stupid and not because it's silly. It's because our actions have cosmic significance. And so the reason this feeling of resentment or jealousy or or feeling less than or anger is feeling so big inside of you is because you're capacity to pivot from there is going to create cosmic change. Speaker 2 Those are the author of his words, by the way, not mine. We move mountains every single time. So imagine that. Imagine the next trigger. It's like. Speaker 1 Yeah, the judgement voice comes in. It's an old pattern. It makes sense. The judgement voice is going to come in for a while. Speaker 7 I think judgement and a misery stick, a judgement and a measuring stick 2 very. Speaker 1 Certain standard that's, I don't know, whoever made the standard I I'm familiar with his voice, Alda Ye Mazette, it shows up inside of me. And so this chapter in time has a reminder to each one of us, myself included, that this is a growth. Speaker 2 Opportunity. Thank you, God, and then and then thank you to the person who triggered you because they have been able. They're the one, they're the one who offered this growth opportunity to you. Harvey could have sent anyone. They sent him. They sent her. And so they. Speaker 7 I think then the new one, right. So I mean, as you're speaking, I'm trying it on for size, as you're saying, and then, you know, just sitting with it. And I think there's a new language that needs for me. I need a new language, which means that it's, it's, you know, the however old I am, that's the habits I've been, you know, we're leaning on. And the new language is every, it's, it's not measurable. Sometimes it's just a choice. And when the choice gets done, that's enough. That's big, that's huge. Giving new language to the action of it being huge versus the measuring stick of old where you needed to see the effects, the outcome and the results. Speaker 2 I do also like if anyone here needs to cling to measurements, you know, because the old language sometimes hard to kick out. I like the the the visual of the peeling back a layer. It's true. I can't measure like from here until topic, you know, like we said, it's not there's no topic continuum here. We're not like getting. There's no. Speaker 1 Goal. We're getting to like that. We're just the middle of Infinity. Like there's literally no, no end goal. So but if you feel like you need measurements in order to help this be you know more, feel better about it, think of it as a layer. One more layer, peel back, one more layer, peel back. You're getting closer and closer and closer to your core, to your truth, to to just knowing who you are, to knowing what your truest voice is. Speaker 2 To being, to being able to exercise that voice more frequently and more consistently and more steadily and more assertively. So that literally in that in that somatic process of like presencing with the the the uncomfortable emotion, literally to sense it as like a peeling back of a layer. Speaker 7 Right. And I guess the language around it. Speaker 6 I like. I like. Speaker 7 That you said we didn't have language. I think the language around it for me is so important because that's the express, you know, the Mashova Debram, I mean it's the actual verbiage of hearing. So are my thoughts different? Am I looking at this differently? Speaker 1 Today the the word thoughts. Speaker 2 For me, very much the way it resonates for me and I keep using it. So I'm may have, you may have noticed, like narrative, what's the narrative around this experience? Is it an animal soul narrative? Speaker 1 Or is it a godly soul narrative? The truth is, there's pain here, right? Somebody rejects you, There's pain. The narrative. Speaker 2 Of the animal soul is This means there's something wrong with me This thing this means I'm. Speaker 1 Not a value. This means that I'm shameful and needy. This means that I'm not good enough. This means those are the narratives of the animal soul. Like I said before, it's just taking an old, old story. I believe you internalize as a child attaching it. Speaker 2 To a new detail, something that's happening in your 40s or in your 50s or in your 60s or in your 30s. I know there's such a huge range of age. Speaker 1 Group here. I'm gonna in your 70s it that and it becomes a narrative. It becomes the truth immediately to realize who who's controlling my thoughts. That narrative is an animal's soul thought the impulse came, the pain was there, but can we recognize and realize this is the growth opportunity? There's a part inside of you that's still hurting. It got triggered now and there's a growth opportunity. You're going to shed that layer. You're going to reparent that part. That's the godly soul truth here. You, your value does not get diminished by somebody else's rejection, but you need to know that and how you're going to learn it by reparenting this part that steadily pulls you back into an old belief system. So this experience came for an opportunity to reparent this part so that you can meet your truth. Your absolute truth is that you are a child of God and nothing in the world can diminish your worth. And not only in a in a, in a negative sense, but in like I am worthy. I am steadily, steadily worthy. The moment you feel that in your bones, everyone's opinion, you're not, you don't have a, you don't have a radar out for what are people thinking. There's no landing pet inside of you for how you were understood or misunderstood you. You suddenly are able to live in flow with ease, just like as an expression of who you are without a million and one protectors up and with masks and cloaks and whatever else we need in order to feel safe in the world so that nobody shakes our sense of worthiness. Speaker 7 OK. Yeah, I think beautiful. And you know, I guess if we could put that in pill size, we'd be very successful. Speaker 1 I'll tell you what it is. The pill size is the steady noticing, the steady presencing like what I started with. To answer your initial question, that's the pill size form every single time the animal soul voice gets triggered. Step number one is if it's not a voice of confidence and joy and clarity and ease, it's not a godly soul voice, which means it's just one part of me getting triggered. Step number one, this is not me. There's a part of me getting triggered. Find it inside your body, presence with it. Bring presence and compassion. Track it, notice it. Let it move through you. Let that layer peel. You have one more access to one more. You're closer to accessing truth. You're closer to becoming the assertive voice inside of you rather than these voices. Speaker 2 I just repeated myself but I I feel like I may have summed it up in one sentence. Speaker 7 Beautiful. That was good. Succinct. Listener's Example of Applying Inner Work to Daily Life Maybe I could share an example at least too much. Thank you. OK, sorry I'm just driving. I just have an example that happened last night. So it's freshing my mind, freshing my experience. Can you hear me? Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah, go for. Speaker 8 It So last night my husband started sharing something with me like a vision that he had for something that wasn't current like like he wants something to be different than it is right now in our home. And I immediately noticed how my insides started kicking and screaming like a massive tantrum started happening inside While he's describing it that like things aren't good enough, you're the problem, things need to change. Expectations like all a million stories just bubbled up like just immediately I was able to notice it inside and really just see like this is a very child part, like a very wounded child that like besides that, you know, she's never good enough and nothing's ever whatever. All the stories I was able to like just really see them and for me, like it wasn't so somatic. Sometimes it is somatic, but this time it was visual like I really had such a strange visual and I went I was able to sit with a vision and sit with it. And when he was done, I was so usually I would have probably like given a response, like probably like shut down connection and like that's my usual go to like literally just like turn over and like go to bed. Like not like it would just be too painful to engage that's a lot or just start crying or something like that. But I was able to once he was done, I was able to share. I was like, by the way, like a child is kicking and screaming right now. And also, so I'm just like letting you know like that's what's going on and. Speaker 1 Also, I love you and thanks for sharing. Speaker 8 Yes, yeah. And once I once it was wild how quickly things like seamlessly continued, like I hear you. And then we can like move on and keep continue the conversation and like, but yeah, I did speak for that part. And like that part was there, but it was very unblended. And I could feel the unblending. Like it was so cool. Speaker 1 Amazing. Like, amazing. Speaker 8 My body was like, OK, I'm like everything was OK, like it was. Speaker 1 Really. Yeah, I'm smiling from ear to ear. That's literally a perfect. Speaker 2 Gorgeous example of everything that this this chapter was telling us. Gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing it. Speaker 1 Thank you, I'm reading. Speaker 2 A commentary. Having a friend that you can share your thoughts with really helps with this in the beginning as you're building up the skill of bringing yourself back. Sometimes I'd only notice a few days later that I've been thinking in an old pattern for a few days already, versus when I share my thoughts to someone right away they tell me this old pattern and I'd snap out of it quicker. Speaker 1 Beautifully so you're you're. Speaker 2 What what this commentary is saying is that essentially. Speaker 1 Speaking it out loud, by the way some people. Speaker 2 Journal just for this purpose so yes speaking it out loud to a friend or journaling it or even you know are are however it is that you articulated and give it's become so much easier and in this comment is saying a friend is able to mirror back to you what your truth is they're able to hear and say oh that sounds like a part of your animal soul that. Speaker 1 Sounds like an old narrative and help you come back into truth. Speaker 2 So some of us can use a friend to do that. Some of us can just literally articulate it in our mind with a therapist or with whoever it is like this is, this is a great pointer that when inside of your mind, you're regurgitating these thoughts. And this is where you know when you have a friend who's able to mirror back to your actual truth rather than allowing this narrative to become your truth. Thank you for that. Any other comments ladies or questions or insight? Thank you so much. Same time, same place next week and we're at Sashem. I actually had a dream last night that I slept in and missed this. And in my dream I told myself that makes no sense. That would never happen to you. This must be a dream. So here I am to tell the tale that would never happen. I was like, I remember in the in the dream there was like, I was like about to put out a survey like if I do an hour later, can you guys join me still or should we just skip for next week? And there was a part of me that was like feeling relieved. Oh, then you won't have to prepare this week for next week. Amazing. Check that off your list. So anyway, this this is what I dream about. So thanks. Thanks. I'm so glad in real life we all got to be here today. Speaker 1 Thank you. Speaker 8 Thank you, Tibby. Speaker 2 Take care. Thanks.