142: Talking to the Tombstone with Louis C.K. | Soder Podcast | EP 139

Hey, everybody, I am back on the road. July 16 through 18, Stanford, Connecticut at New York comedy club. July 25 at a late show, club soda at Montreal for just for laughs. And then July 31 in August 1st, four shows at the Albany Funny Bone. All those tickets available at dancerter.com. I'll see you there. Let's build this hour together. But it was cool seeing you film another special at the beacon. You were there, right? No, I didn't get to go. I was on the road. Oh, yeah, okay. But I talked to you right before you did it. And I thought it was really cool. You're doing it because obviously this special ridiculous out now on Netflix. Go watch it, um, but you did hilarious there. I did. No, I don't mean to point at you. Yeah, I like that. But didn't you do the layers of the beacon? I did live at the beacon. I've had the beacon. Yeah, that was my first Spucco. This is podcast of Pucco. Yeah, he's going to out of fucking out that out. Live at the beacon, edit that shit, actually leave it in words and all. You're right. I did do live at the beacon there. Yeah, live at the beacon was great. You walked up. That was like one of my favorite intros where you like walked through the front. Yeah, I went through the front door. And it was funny watching people be like, cause that this is, that's how much phones have progressively gotten worse. Yeah. And when you watch the intro of live at the beacon, people just let you walk in and a couple of people go, oh, hey, Louie. Yeah. We're now they be like, Salve. Yeah. Definitely. You got to like walk into a venue. Yeah, it was really, that one I shot the first one there because George Carlin had done one there and it was one of his best, I thought, have you done that? He did. I mean, I stole the open from him and prior. They both did that. Yeah, just to come out on stage, come out prior, went out with the lights are still up. That's my favorite. The people are running to their seats. And then the guy comes up with a camera and he goes, get the fuck out of here. And then he goes, now take the picture. Yeah, yeah. And then the shit breaks. Yeah, that's, he does the white people are in your, black people are in your seat in your seats. Crazy. Crazy. But, yeah, so he did that one and then Carlin did one where he walks off the street, I stole it. I love walks off the street from Broadway into, he put a little thing, he put a guy playing saxophone outside. So when you, but he went out and he just immediately said, and people going crazy, but he's like telling them, he's just going, he just wants to get to the first joke. And then he goes, have you ever noticed that a lot of the women at anti-abortion rallies are women you wouldn't want to fucking the first place? Yeah. First words out of his mouth. Yeah. Just brush back pitch. Yeah. Just absolutely opening up. Don't dig in. It's punching right in the stomach. So good. He didn't do a lot of fanfare of coming out and being like, no, he just went, got right to the joke. Yeah. And so I took that from him. This special actually opens similarly just that I get, I say hello, tiny bit, but then I tell a joke right away. You also come in what I liked what you did audio wise is it's, the music is all you hear until you say hello. Yeah, yeah. That's right. It drops out right before and then you go, hello, and I like that because there's something, I don't know if it's because I'm a comic when I watch specials and the crowd is too, like, and the guy's like, thank you, thank you, you're like, just fucking get to it. Now, you don't want to watch somebody being adored by people that are in the room because then you're with the fuck to you. That's rock stars. Yeah. That's what they get to do. Yes. They wear open rock stars. No, we're fucking clown. The comedy rock star thing. It's not good for the jokes. No, you're supposed to lose. Yes. You have to lose at every turn. You have to come out and go, I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah, I'm a shit. There is a set on YouTube I saw of Woody Allen in on a TV show in Manchester, England. It's black and white and it's a little TV studio and they don't know who he is. He's hanging onto the microphone stand, like the way you do when you're young at it. Yeah. He's hanging onto it and he's nervous and he's trying to get through to them. So when you see him start to win them over, it's like that's fucking power, you know. That's great. And comedy always reminded me of the roller rink when you'd be scared and you're like grabbing the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you see like, you're like one of those old black dudes that's going around clapping. Yeah. I'm doing spin up on the case a little bit. It's too fucking casing the sunshine band you're coming through it like light blue skates on it. I'm like grabbing the side. Yeah. What the fuck is trying to snudge stuff fall down? Just don't fall down in front of the girls. I still feel like that on stage a lot. I still at the cellar, especially when you start after doing a long after the specials done and you're starting up again. Yeah. I loved the obviously I've seen you do it a couple of times but I love the bit about your dad in a home because I had to put my grandma on one. Yeah. But my grandma's was medically induced but yours is so because she broke her hip. But you, the joke is so great because it's like there's this feeling of when you come to that part in your life where you just kind of don't want. You don't want to be around them. You don't want to be around it. You don't want to. It's an incredibly cruel and terrible thing to do because if you think about what a family is supposed to be. You're supposed to be there. You're supposed to just kind of hold them. You're supposed to change your life. If I was a good family member. It ruins marriages but it's supposed to like you know like my dad or my mom or they're moving in and your wife is like no, I don't want it. That's not what I sign up for. And you're like well, feel however you want about it. It's happening. Like that's the way life was. It still isn't a lot of the world like I did though at that bit. I do that whenever I did that bit I could see people relating. It's the one bit they're not just laughing at. You see them looking at each other. They're talking about it. Fuck. Yes. Because there's always one person. There's always be like a mom-ish woman with her hand over her mouth going oh god and her husband rubbing her back like I know I know right. But then I did it in like Saudi Arabia and they didn't know what I was talking about. They didn't understand it. You kill your father. They say something way more brutal when he cannot cut the sea. You put him on the desert. The sword and the eye comes and pick out his eye. You let the hawk of time. Yes. He's scorpion. Eat it. That's all I'm saying. This is you throw away. The brutality of other countries with an American because you go but I want to be warm and soft. Yeah. Yeah. It is done. These is no. So you die. Yeah. But no, I mean the opposite is true. They couldn't get their head around it. I asked a few people about it while I was there as like do you put your older people in a home away from you in an institution and they're like what? No, they live in your house till they die. Honestly. You take care especially then. That's when they need your care. That's when you pay them for everything they did. Someone argue that's the whole reason you have a family. That's the whole reason. It used to be farmers needed people to work the crops. Yes. And also take care of them when they die. Yes. The person who got you from infancy to adulthood, you're not going to fucking let them have just a few years to just oh, sorry, and also have your kids have access to them and stories. What they remember and let them feel loved. But it was like asking people the same thing in India. And although in India, it's it's they told me some some of us do it now because I got some money. It's yeah, I guess it's changing money and they go like so I pay this I mean everybody does it more than they admit to it. But it was like saying to somebody, don't when your children turn 12, don't you take cut off their hands and eat their hands just because and they were like, why would I do that? I love my child. And I'm like, oh, that's we do that all over in America. We have hands soup. Yeah. We have hands. I was my grandmother's primary care because my dad's whole family's dead. So I was like kind of helping her out, she was in her 90's and then she got COVID. Your dad hold your dad's whole family is dead. Yeah. Everyone's wiped out. It's pretty cool. Well, you're in your family. Dad's family. Who do you think did all the wife and out? Broad sword. Nice. Face me father. That's the way that's the one, that's what every man truly wants is to kill his father and a sword fight. I would love to kill how much others you would be complete. I don't need a fight. I was just like him to just stand there now. I would just like that you make a nurse for the jokes because you need to hold your sword. Your boy can't fight you unless you hold the sword. What are you doing? Oh, that's the Jamaican nurse from your joke. Your son want to kill you now with his sword. Yeah, hear me. It's time for your doom. Get up. Get up. I brought you your favorite sword. What you're doing? Put on your sweat and pick up your sword. You don't forget you have a mashed potatoes tonight to tell me. And then you go out. It is amazing when you go see them. It sucks. And the Jamaican people to take care of them. And as you leave, you go like, and they're like, yeah, just go, just go and leave him. I'm talking about, I'm coming from the Bay Bay Area, so it was all Filipinos. Yeah, that's true. Okay, that's everyone. Yeah, like, you know, I'm hitting them with a little Tagalog on the way out, you know, and a little what? Tagalog. That's Filipino. They speak, so you're like, I don't know any. I used to work in Alaska, and they would always be like, I'll teach you Tagalog. And I was like, the fact that I just know that word. Yeah, it's enough for me. I'm good. That's good. That's enough Tagalog. The only Tagalog I need to know is the name of the language. And then I'm good. That's the most American thing as you go. Yeah. And now I'm out. I'm like, you're done. But when I would leave, they would be like, yeah, because I would do like a ceremoniously, like, okay, so I'm going to leave. Oh, you're great. You're your grandmother. Yeah. And they'd be like, "Yeah, bye." Yeah. Last time I saw my dad, I felt bad because I didn't stay very long. And he tried as they, but as I was leaving, they were pushing him up to his little food. Yeah. And he was like, "Ooh." And I was like, "He's fine." He doesn't give a shit. He never needs to see me. She, my grandma, stayed, so I didn't realize this about my grandma until right before she died. Yeah. And we found a bunch of old pictures of her. But she was an old hot girl. Uh-huh. So it was interesting to watch her be like, "What age was she hot?" Like, through her 40s. Like, she was a good looking lady. But watching her still be a kind of a hot girl at 96, where I was like, you know, she's in the home for a while and we're like, "What can we bring you?" And she's like, "A brush." So I want my hair to look nice and you're like, "Oh, damn." You're holding a new grandma that's not going to make your hair look nice. Yeah. I go, "Nana, it is. You look like a skeleton." Yeah. Yeah. It was, I think the hardest part was I felt like I had helped her for so long. Then she got COVID and she went to the hospital and I talked to the doctor and I was like, selfishly. Right. I can't go in, right? I go. This is what we send her to a home, right? Right. I remember where I was. It was at Y's guys. It's Salt Lake City. So you took care of her at home when she was living. She would refuse to move. She was like, "I live by myself." But you could make her. Oh, yeah. I muscle her out. But she was fine. She was living fine. She'd have to get driven places. Neighbours would drive her to the grocery store, but she was fine. And then she got COVID into the doctor. I was like, so. Time. Yeah. Anyway, no. What I found is, is patients over 91 that are still doing okay. When they come out of the hospital, bring them back to their home. And then they know where everything is so they can operate alone. She got five more years. So I was like, incredible. Like Michael Myers. I was like, "It's over." Yeah. It's over that you just sat back up and you're like. You mean the guy from SNL? No, not the fun Canadian. Like his career? No, that's coming back, too. I'm talking about the Homestidel Maniac. Not the brilliant Austin Powers. No, yeah. She's like, "Don't make you own me." Like, "Well, my friends." But I think you're right about moving them in and your kids get to learn off them. Yeah, but by the way, I didn't do that. No, no. Oh my god, no. This is no. That's like your. My mom, my mom, we kept her at home. She got cancer, so she didn't live. She was 79 when she died. And so we took turns to having her at home. Okay, like you would switch her out? Yeah, different home. It was a little. They probably took a year off her life moving her around a little. It's like an exhibit. Yeah, it's like a moving exhibit, like those basketball basketball players with the. Yeah, that's what we did. We skinned her and glazed her. We're never doing different athletic classes in my daughter's gym over here. We had her slim, don't we? Or it's different life lessons. It's her knitting. It's like grandma stuff. Oh, look, she's making her favorite soup. That's right. And it's just the muscle. The muscle. The muscle of her dipping a ladle. The teeth. I bet in China, if you did that joke, if you would have done that joke in China, they'd go, "Well, we just give it to the body, exhibit." Sure. You don't even. They could be in their forearms. I did do it in China. Oh, let Hong Kong, anyway. He did. It shows there, but. But anyway, yeah, my mom, we center out. We are all with her. But my dad, he's hanging on too long. Who's that? He wants to live longer. And nobody's. The interest in him tapped out. He's that? He's living longer than people give his shit. To be. want to be around him. And I believe the thing is never overstay or welcome. He's overstayed as welcome on this planet by a lot. Is that reflective of his personality from when you were younger? Like, you just see it where you go. I shouldn't have known you were going to live too long with the fucker. No, he's. And by the way, whatever. You know, last time I went to see him as when this bit was born. Because I went to see him. The thing that really happened was I went to. I went in his room. I hadn't seen him for about a year. And he looked at me like, "Hello." Oh, fuck. And I was like, "Hi." And he was like, "Yeah." And I said, "I'm Louie, your son." And he's like. Not picking up on this. And he doesn't really have like a real big. He has sort of come and go dementia, you sure? But now that's not the main feature of him. Yeah. So I was like, "Louie." And he didn't. He was sort of being polite like, "Hello." And so I said, "I'm going to come in and sit with you for a while." And he was like, "You are." Like, it was so. I felt creepy. Like, yeah, you're like hitting on your dead. It's like if I went into a total stranger's room and said, "Hi." I'm going to come and sit with you and he's like, "Yeah." Okay, I was just thinking about the Korean War. I don't know what you're doing inside. But I start trying to explain to him who I am. I showed him a picture. My sister told me, "You show him pictures. It brings it back." Sure. So I showed him a picture of him and my mom. And I said, "What is he?" He goes, "That's my wedding date. My ex-wife, which they were divorced, but." Yeah. I showed him the whole family. He goes, "That's my family." You're right. And I go, "Who's that at the end?" He goes, "That's my son." And I go, "That's me." And he's like. He was like, "He selectively dementiaed me out of his memory." Like, I kept talking to him about our family, our history, but he just was skipping over me. And I was like, "I am here. I am." It was pissing me off because he seemed lucid. And he doesn't do that with your sisters? No, he's a little on and off, but not like that. But he locks in sometimes. He locks in once in a while. And so I was just getting really uncomfortable and pissed. And so I said, I figured I'm not going to see him again. I said, "I'm going to say some things to you whether you know who I am or not that I want to say." That's good for you. It was like talking to the granite, to the tombstone, like the way you sit and talk to it. It was like that. And he's looking at me, and I'm going, telling him things I feel about what happened when I was a kid. And I started to cry, and he fell asleep. So I got up to leave. Hey, if you own a small business, you should be using Square. I thought Square was literally just the thing they put on the phone to take credit cards. That's what I thought it was when I signed up for the sponsor. I was like, "Kid, I needed that so many times on the road. When I tried to sell merch, I could have used that square instead of telling someone to go to an ATM or get changed from a bartender." Like an absolute jackass. But Square is more than that little square. It is that square, but it's also a platform behind the scenes of a lot of your favorite businesses. Small, big, Square simplifies the messy stuff. Works for one location shops and businesses with multiple teams or service areas. And you don't need an IT team or a degree in accounting to understand it. Square isn't just fast, smart, transparent, and built for the way people actually run their businesses. So if you're starting a business or you have a business and you're not using Square, you should check it out. Oh, that's what they wanted me to actually say. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better, I naturally got there. See, I'm such an advertiser. Square hopes you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square Hardware at square.com/go/soder. That's square.com/go/soder. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. If you have something that's aching you, hurting you, maybe worrying you, try Zock-Dock for a doctor's appointment. You go to Zock-Dock, you find a doctor you like, you get an appointment, and then all that anxiety is gone. I've been using this before they sponsored this podcast. I've been using this since the app came out. That's how much of a hypochondriac I used to be. Still, I am sometimes. But most of the time, Zock-Dock would be there to solve all my issues. Z-O-C-D-O-C.com or download the app. You can look for a doctor in network. So it doesn't cost your normal to leg. It lets you search and compare local in network doctors. More than 150,000 providers with 200 plus specialties across all 50 states. Appointments happen fast within a day to three. So go book them at Zock-Dock.com or the app. Your mental health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zock-Dock. Head to Zock-Dock.com/soder to get started. And check that appointment off your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com/soder. And as I left, I had a. That is just as someone that has struggled with daddy-shoes his entire life and had him watch dye when I was young. This makes me feel so much better he died when I was 14. Oh no, it's hard. Because I can't imagine all the things that I've worked through in therapy of things I would have said to him if I had this opportunity. And I just want to let you know, you gave up on Michelle, you gave? I would find them. That you should tell me this where fight should happen. So I got up to leave. He's selling the fight. I got up to leave and I had a snotty tissue and I dropped it on his floor. And the room is so quiet. Yeah, definitely quiet. And I bend over to pick it up and I feel gross and I look over and he's just watching me pick up the tissue. And that moment was the most humiliating moment of my. Like it's the worst I've ever felt. You cried and filled the tissue with snot. And your dad was like, it picked it shit up. - Yeah. - Bitch. I wanted to tell that story on stage initially. I was like, "This story, there's something really big here. I want to tell it," and I would start to tell it, but I would walk slow to it by describing the place he's at. And the one thing that really did happen, which was there was a lady urgently saying to me, "Please help me, a lady in wheelchair," and I said to the guy, a guy that worked there, this lady needs help and he just went like that. That happened on the way into his room. So I started with that story, and I kept explaining the place and explaining the context of the place to say what happened with my dad, and so I couldn't tell the story. I kept setting this scene, but when I got to it, I couldn't really tell the story. Because it was too painful. I knew that it's so painful that it must be a great bit. But I couldn't. Is that a thing? I just failed as a comic. I don't think you did it. Well, I turned, I mean, it turned into, it's like an oyster, like, with the pearl, because to cover the real pain, I mean, that's, I think it might be the longest bit I ever did in a special. It's like 13 minutes on one subject. I've never really done something that long that I can remember anyway. I haven't checked. Comedically, it's still on the table. That's my question to you. Is there a way where you don't, you've sort of, you've described the place and that became the bit. You describe, you know, with which a lot of people think, but I think like something is deep is that? Or something is like any man that's had it, and every man has a dad. Yes. So many fathers on relationships are so fucked up that that specifically hits. If you, even if you grew up with your dad and you guys liked each other, they're still probably somewhere. I probably won't be able to do it till he's dead. So that was the thing I wanted to talk to you about because my grandma died. So that, when I, when I, yeah, it's fine, but she was also, that's the whole joke is she died when she was 97 and I, in the special, I just, sorry, the phone call is kind of like, "Hey, it's done." Yeah. It's over. Because I've lost people young and that's like when they tell you you closed them in your apartment or whatever you like. Congratulations. You can pick up the keys on Monday. Yeah. What's funny is Shane was here when she died, Shane had hosted SNL for the first time and then was in the city. So we came over and we were watching TV and then I got a call from it and I went, hold on, I got a fucking, my grandma and then I went and I just came and took the call and sat back down. I was like, my grandma died. And I just went back to the TV and both Katie and Shane were like, "What the fuck?" And I'm like, she's 97. 97. I don't know what you want. I don't know. I'm not a moment too soon. But my question to you is, as obviously as someone that's influenced my entire generation was stand up, especially with the personal level of it, you know, of you like talking about people that are living, it's how much easier is it to talk about when people are dead? Well, yes. I've done a ton of dad jokes. Yeah. I wouldn't have had the balls if I would have known that he was living it. Oh, because he's there recuring them. Well, like I don't know if my dad, I don't think he sees the material, I don't think he'll see this bit. Sure. Unless your sister's hilarious. Yeah. She gets in to be a little stupid, she goes, "Hey, remember that crime bitch you made fun of? Here you go. You know, fuck I think about it." Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But he, his presence on Earth is not what makes it difficult, like what would he say, I guess. When somebody dies, the book is closed. Their whole story's been told. Games over. So you can really, because there's always a chance with everybody. It's never too late. People take turns, people become different people during their lifetime. Once you're dead. It's done. Yeah. And I'd also say that's probably one of the worst things about losing someone young is because you feel like the game ended quick. You know, we didn't have a chance to come back around and change. Yeah. That's right. But joke riding wise you go. Yeah. You got to go. Editorial. Yeah. Most of my jokes about my mom are about her being dead, about her death. Her death was a big deal to me. I was very close to my mom and she died in 2019 and, you know, I wasn't, she wasn't that old. And so it was dramatic and it was a big loss. And she has had kind of like an Obi-Wan Kenobi presence in my life since then. Like she's more omniscient. Sure. And you think about kind of what she would think of situations. Yeah. Yeah. And more than back when she was alive, I was like, I should call mom. You know what I mean? Like you kind of actually corner your parents into a place when they're alive because this is an overwhelming presence that you're like, I can't think about mom right now because I haven't called her in about a month and I feel like shit, so I'm not going to think about her. And you feel bad for not visiting? I don't have to call her at all. So I can think about her freely. I can feel her spirit more freely because there's no guilt involved. When you do a joke about, you know, because you do a joke both about your mom dying and about your dad being in the home with your sisters, do they talk to you about your material? Are they ever like? No. I mean, my sisters saw, they're living that with me. But do they? And of course, also I exaggerate everything and everything is, you know, it's a joke. There's all sorts of love and small need and pain inside of the reality of it. My, my, I have one sister who really is the most that takes care of him the most. Sure, he's got everything he needs and it's really hard for her. She's really suffered. So she's not, when she sees that joke versus your other sister who maybe has, has more of a relationship with like you do, where you go and visit him once in a while. I think they, but I mean, they just, they know so they've made an adjustment in general. I've been doing this since I was 18. Sure. So my sisters always go, yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I did jokes when my mom died, I came up with a joke 10 seconds later than I did, but I, we were all in the hallway of the hospice and we were crying. My mom was in this room. We had spent the day with her, and with her body. And my mom had very strict wishes about just wanting to be cremated right away, not with anyone there. But so this kid, can I do it? I do a bit about it, but this kid showed up. And he said, I'm here to take your mom, and he was like a sweet, but he's like a working class kid from the crematorium in Boston. Yeah, where they burn bombs and dogs. We got a fucking take your mom, I'm sorry for your loss, but he had to take your mom. Listen, we found a fucking pack of dogs and a bag, and he's got a black bag. That's like kind of silt percy looking, but it's probably been used a number of times. And you just edit this out of what you're, and you just go, okay, and he goes, I'm going to be, I've got to get her ready, which means, you know, he has to take a woman's body and like. Yeah. Fucking, yeah. And he got like, hey, how about them fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're on a fucking skid shut up bitch. Yeah, yeah. He went in there with her, and we're all crying in a ball, and it hits me. He's been in there for a while. I really hope he's not fucking my mother. I don't, if he is, that really is comedy brain, nothing I can do about it, nothing I can do about it. Yeah, anyway, then he, the only ceremony was we follow, he put it, he had this black bag with her in it, and he put her, and he was in a, I know, mini van with like a, with like a half bottle of red gatorade in the back, do you know what I mean? And like a sweatshirt. Yeah. And he put her in there. But whatever, so that, that a few hours later we all had dinner and I, and I told my sisters all those jokes with it, and they all laughed. So they're, like, they're in the moment with you. Yes, and we're a family, and they know me, and that's been, that's my role in the family. Which is a great feeling. It is a great feeling because, you know, a lot of my cousins came together when my grandma died. We haven't spoken. We haven't really been close. And my cousin, Lisa, who I have a long bit in the special about, who is at the taping, like, talk shit about her in a way that I love her, but it's a joke where I got nervous the first time she saw it. Sure. And I told her kids, and I go, I have this joke about your mom, because I'm close with her kids. And then I said the joke to her oldest son, and he goes, if I can nail it. And I went, all right. So it's cool. And he goes, oh, I don't think, and he said, here's what's going to happen, because I did the joke at the show at the state side theater in Columbus, where I was like, where the South theater, I was like, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to do the joke tonight. And I just want to know your mom's reaction in her oldest son, Zachos. Here's how it's going to go. She's going to laugh. She's going to call you a couple of days later. Yeah. Nailed it. I did the joke. He's exactly what happened. Exactly. Because she's going to enjoy it. She's going to feel pink and happy that she's featured in your life. And then she called back and she was like, but then she's not going to not take the opportunity. Like some people, even if they're not hurt, they're like, I get to be hurt. Like it's like, I got a coupon for that. I'm going to use it. And I'm not going to not use it. Which I've experienced with other people in my life, but the way she reacted to it was MVP level. She just came in. She was awesome at the special taping. She was like, you got a joke coming about me. And then you realize telling jokes about living people way harder than about dead people. Sure it is. Because of that, because they get a couple days to think about it. That's right. And also your relationship with those people is evolving. And so if you pull out a cease and desist from Lisa, one of her lawyer, I'm going to actually spoke to her recently, and I'm just going to see the day of light because I have here a thing that says, you legally are binded to not do that joke. Getting a cough, sure. Oh, get it. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was interested about that to know if your sister's like see that and if they go like Yeah, that's as far as I know they're okay with it and again It's like that's the that's the way I've always processed life and you know since my mom died I keep doing jokes about her being dead like really dark jokes. Yes really inappropriate jokes about her death Because it's the most important loss of my life. Yeah, and so that's right I feel like the thing is that pain is like a hole that it causes a hole in your life and You can see all the way inside through it. You can see all the way to the other side You can see everything so when a very painful thing happens to you if you're willing to really look at it You see really you see forever in there and there's so many jokes So well the best jokes are in the most profound places, so I keep going to that I would attribute the quote Incorrectly, but there's a musician who's so it had something like his father died and then his wife died And it's something really bad happened and then he kept playing and they said he's like platinum Although he's like oh watch this But they said oh does that inspire you does that like make you insist inspired to go make music and he said Know what it is is their loss has left a hole inside of me and like an instrument I fill it in the music sounds different because of that That's right. That's a really good way to put it. It's a cave. It is and it creates like an acoustic on a on a situation for how you feel about it where you go like like You know I've in in my specials talks about my dad being dead and sometimes you get people to go all right We got it you're fucking dad's there, but then there's people with dead dads who go like fuck yeah I think that same thing and you go and that's kind of what you're talking about with the home where you want to say a joke where people go like This is yeah, because similarly with my grandma while it was happening. I was writing jokes right saying him to Lisa Cuz we're in together. I know this is crazy. There was one point where a nurse because this was a Facility to like it was a rehab facility slash home. She was a drug addict. Yeah big heroin user Which she could rock put her on a stratocast Give her fucking slide guitar in the home No, but she we're standing in the hallway and the nurse was like giving me the schedule Where they go Mondays we do arts and crafts and we're talking and Across the hallway. There's just an old man going Tuesday's removing that she like didn't even didn't even know that's what it's like it didn't even take her out She was just like no every time my sister calls me and she's like, you know They're not looking after his hearing aids or they're like they he's having a pain and they haven't done any imaging I'm like he's there to fucking die He's there to fucking die and they take him. Yeah, it's like if you were You bury somebody in a cemetery and then you call the people who run the cemetery and go like is he getting anything to eat? Do you play boxing for the plot? Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, they're dead in there Yeah, I mean the thing is that life that we have the this weird thing about hanging on to it When it's not worth living anymore for other people. Well, that's what it is. We make them sit there and Yeah, our mortality is tied to them. It's yeah, we don't want to we don't want to let them go Where it would be peaceful if you go just kill them just go and kill them go where other countries might do that or Yes, I Missed I made the mistake when I was young of not learning a second language if you are under the age of 20 years old Go learn another language right now if you're over the age of 20 You're over the age of 30 not looking good at all over the age of 40 like me were screwed But you got babble babble is built for real life. It's not a vocabulous. No verbal charts real conversation practice lessons are quick practical and built By more than 200 language experts unlike cramming before a trip babble fits it into your actual schedule If you got a coffee break you can listen to one of the drive to work Maybe you know before you go to bed. Just practice some of your espignol babbles award-winning episode over 25 million subscriptions in his back by a 14 day money back guarantee Who does that anymore? No one does a money back guarantee if you got some summer travel coming up Now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip right now babbles offering listeners up to 60% off go to babble.com slash soda. That's babble B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash soda for up to 60% off rules and restrictions may apply my grandma had a dog Buddy that was blind and deaf and she just like loved the thing and I was like This is like 10 years ago. It's like me. I can't hear you and you can't see you I had a joke that his his just a whole life was metallic as one video where he's just like no sight no sounds Johnny get your gun like hello Hello, hello, and there was a moment where I love dogs and he bumped against me, and I went oh Like that and I loved buddy. Yeah, but he bumped against me, and I went oh Yeah, he's gross now, and then my grandma took the you know the seat up the stairs to go to bed Yeah, she just would leave buddy down there and there was this moment I told Katie. I was like she wasn't with me, but I was like I thought about killing it sure I thought about going. I think this is the more Merciful thing to do to the meanwhile the things like just like a broken fucking room. Yeah going like Just like making its way around the room, and I just fucking grabbed this pillow like grabbed it in a way where I was like I might fucking do this. I didn't do it did you know, and I went fucking pussy. So what stopped you? Because it wouldn't have been wrong. She's she's up there If he won't see it come and he won't hear it coming into the real reason Convenience I was leaving the next day and I just wanted to go home, and I didn't want to have to go like by the way Hey, I killed buddy, and also I probably would have cracked at some point gone I killed buddy. It's really hard to take. I mean, I don't I'm speaking without experience Yeah, I've never taken a life outside of you know millions of bugs in a Community you're big. Yeah, they know you so many bugs. I'm mosquito Hitler. Oh my god. You're yeah worse like mix so many with like Selenie, yeah, bugs look at you and they go speeches. That's what specials are to them or the Hitler speeches. That's right But for bugs Yes, and they're all in bonkers Just leave us alone just where you fucking leave us alone. Yeah, but stay out of my life stay out of my fucking life Yeah, it's quit flying. I don't go looking for mosquitoes to kill. No. I open my window. You come to my house Use this fucking make me itch. You're fucking dead. You're sucking my blood as you made me itch for a second Just a second while I was having a conversation where I went and you're fucking By the way, not a simple death. No a total just Explosion of match and yeah of everything if something came down and swatted you right now and me and Mike were just covered in blood and we're like And then I saw the hand go up and then go like dating's weird and do it in joke. I mean, this fucking be legit Mother fucker. Yeah, killing buddy. I think would have been I think I could have done it and so really take yourself through it How do you do it? First of all, I'll tell you what I do is there is a moment. Pillow is not gonna do it. Pillow do it. No He's a he's a fucking shitsoo. I could fucking yeah, but he's good Yeah, we're trying to just give brother Pill to a dog. Just try to give a dog a pill, but if I fucking push down. Yeah, I'm gonna hold my dog can't hear this Wait, so is that how you would have done her? How would have you done it? Well, I could have gone like the mighty Navajo and just swung them against a rock like they would do when they like by the legs Yeah, that's where they would do a lot of I think it was the command cheese when they would raid a village Yeah, they would take the baby's yeah, they would take the babies and bang them against rock and then they would take the kid's problem Two to six would become Comanche didn't just go you're Comanche now come on and then the kids under that to go We're killing you. You're a fucking problem. I Think I would have had to pump myself up, right? Yeah I got fucking news for you need adrenaline. Yeah, I'd have to go like Then I'd have to look kind of a go up. It would be a mix of anger and sad where I'd go And you're inside the house. Yeah, we're in the townhouse my grandma's upstairs and on the wiser But you're gonna make a mess in the kitchen make a mess suffocating Okay, so it is the pillow it's pillow in the living room and I come up from the top Down on it But I'm just not catching it because it's like the top of his head like this like how are you good? How are you getting that? That's a very good question. And I'm not a easy man as I'm working my way to the side go fuck a creature that's being killed Yeah, we'll fight will fight. Well, you're gonna get be he starts to bite you now. You're in a fight no Oh, if that I'll tell you right now that motherfucker came for me and tried to bite me. Yeah I think he's catching a size 13 to the fucking back. Yeah, but again, I mean Take yourself through it. He's still he's howling. Okay, your grandma's like what's going on? Everywhere dog teeth everywhere man. I go to fucking bed. Yeah, you know what I do. She's dead by the end of the story God that would have saved me And about 40 times she comes tumbling because she tries to walk And then I got both of them. Yeah, and then you know what I do. I take him I put him on her stuff throat. Get rid of my finger, murder suicide, murder suicide. I'm out the door. But honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, I thought the pillow would have been an easy way, but you're right. No, man. That's what I'm saying. You got to take yourself through stuff. He was there. He saw where my grandma lives. She lives next to that lake. So here's what I'm thinking. He may be weighs 13 pounds. I still got an arm on me. Okay. I go to the lake. Yeah. Bye. I like that. Bye. He's going to the bottom. That dog's blind. I think I did this bit on stage once, but I had a dog when I was a kid, ticket, and we got him when I was like 11, so more like later and, you know, and actually, I was living here when he died. I went back home because we had to put him to sleep because he had a tumor that was like his whole face. Remember that? You did that on an old special about it's the joke about getting you get something that you know is going to die. Yeah. So there's that. But the thing is when he died, we put him to sleep and, you know, we took him to a doctor's office. They inject him with sure. They shave his arm and then he's dead. And you and you leap, we're like, we just left him there. So they do the doctor of fucks the dog. Taxidermism. Yeah. So I from what I understood, he was just going to be a mass grave of dogs. Yeah. That is. So it's just big pilot dogs. Yeah. And I had a dream that he woke up in the pilot, like somehow they didn't give him enough. I remember you doing that. And then he crawled out from like a rainstorm dead dead dead dogs and then he came to the door. Oh, my god. And there he was again and we're like, ticket, you made it. And then we immediately were like, we got to do it again. If I did that with buddy, you still have cancer. If I would have thrown body in the lake. Yeah. And then came back out and like, you know, wake up at the morning, go brush my teeth and then the carpets wet. Yeah. Like I step somewhere in the carpet wet and I go, no. And I go downstairs and she's like, buddy, got in the water last night. And you're like, son of no, what would happen is you throw him. Yeah. You hear splash. And then you hear you just hear like. Yeah. And the way he gets back to the right back. Son of a bitch. I'm glad I just waited her other dog. So when so she got like another old dog, like, I know, I know, I know. And then she broke her hip. That's when we put her in the facility and the dog. I was like, what do you want to do with the dog or neighbor who was like, I don't know. I gave it to the vet. Yeah, I don't need to know it. Don't need to delete it. All the numbers. I live in New York. You look finding me. Whatever. Do you get a flight to LaGuardia and come find me? Get the fuck out of here. When I was divorced, we had a dog. And we had a really tricky thing with like sharing custody of the kids that were little. Yeah. And this big dog, 70 pound fucking dog. Yeah. And I told my mom, the dog is a really difficult part of this situation. And my mom said, Oh, don't worry. That dog will die soon. I was like, what? Yeah. She said the dog knows that she has no place anymore. She'll find her way out. It was the craziest thing she'd ever said to me. But I think it was within a month. My dog ran in front of a pickup truck. Just ended it. It was like, Hey, you guys, you guys broke up the home I lived in. It's like a home. Hey. And she's like, fuck this dude. I'm fucking on my way. And he's fucking crazy. My dog when I was I loved that dog too. I knocked. Was that your number one of all time? Well, my dog now I think is my dog Rosie. She doesn't want your show. She should. Rosie subscribe. She watches Tucker Carlson. Oh, dude. Why is that? Why is the favorite dog? And honestly, he's not kind of on a fucking really good dog. So interesting. And I'm not gonna lie. He's kind of on a he's on one right now. So she's she's picking up tuck at the right time. Yeah, she's doing bringing it. I have a thing because this is Katie's first dog. And we love Murdle. Murdle's great. My fiancee. Yeah. And I she's still your girlfriend too, right? No, I feel like she's like bride and waiting. You know, she's been bumped up. She's like comfort plus on an airplane. She's not present intellect. Yes, that's exactly she's wife elect. He she will always go like and Murdle's the best dog of all time. And I go. Montana has a word. That was my dog when I was growing up. I was. Yeah. And he was the greatest dog of all time to the point that I came back from college. Was there for winner for Christmas? He was old. He was all white faced golden retriever. I left. He died the next day. What a good dog. Yeah, he was like, yeah, out of here. I'll give you. Luna was great. Luna was white a little wild. She looked like a little wolf and she was German shepherd aerodale mix. Oh, that's a cool mix. She's my mom's got an aerodale and a fucking dogs. They're big. And she was we were kind of unequal. I was definitely in charge, but she was, you know, she had agency. That's what this one does. Yeah, and you have this one. That does shit where I go. I let this dog have too much control. Yeah, because also Luna was a rescue. And I think she had a hard life. But one thing I learned right away, because I went took her to a vet and she had had some in her teeth and she was snapping one up and he said, you can't have her letter. I have those boundaries. And so I would just put my hand in her mouth all the time. I would just go like this to her gone. And she's like, yeah, don't forget. Don't forget. By the way, that's good to do with your girlfriend. Yeah, I got this. I got getting it. I don't know what is this. I'm holding her tone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop it. Well, so I'm just letting you know, just don't forget. No, this is the agency. Yeah, that's what it was like with Luna. I take food out of her mouth. Yeah, I go, what is it? What are you eating? No, one time I was walking Luna in Venice where we used to live. And there was a piece of shit with broken glass stuck in it. And we saw it at the same time and I was like, don't do it. It's you gobbled it up. I've got to get it out of her mouth. It's going to kill her. Yeah. And I'm holding her mouth open and I'm trying to take shit and broken glass and she's going, she wants it. And I had I blood. I don't know who's blood. It was insane. Did you, I mean, because also I think my daughter was an astrologer too. And you're like afraid you're like, did she swallow it? Yeah. Yeah. Shit or yeah. Can I tell you the worst part about having a dog in Manhattan is how many times we turn a corner and my dog just sees a piece of pizza. And she's like, great. Back. Oh, yeah. And so what I'll be doing is sometimes it'll be smaller. She'll just eat a Kleenex. Yeah. And she'll eat it. And then I'll be pulling it out of her mouth. And it'll be in front of it. Yeah. And it'll be on like 5th Avenue and 30th Street and someone will go, dance on her and you go, hey, hey, I'm just reaching in her mouth. Yeah. Hey, man. Nice to meet you. I started to sell her last night. You go, great. Yeah. She took the fuck and she's like, yeah, he's just you're touching crack addicts. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just holding her fucking finger. No, my dog now doesn't do that. She doesn't really she's so docile and compliant. Oh, even if she doesn't like you could take her paw and she just like look at you and you could just twist it off. Yeah. And she would just go like, I wish she didn't really sucks for me, but she would just let you. Yeah, our my dog meant plays mental games like a real housewife where like sometimes she's like, I love you. Now I'm mad at you and I only will talk to mom. Yeah. It's what did I do to you? I did nothing. Oh, because I ripped the Kleenex out of your mouth. Yeah. She'll do stuff where she'll the funniest thing she does is she loves to poop next to cars, but like with her face like yeah, it's far from the door. So what she does is she always happens to find a car with a motherfucker sitting in it. Yeah. And then it's just it's just me standing outside their car and then like I had a guy on his phone. Holy shit. I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, setting up a trap for this guy. No, my dog is very beautiful and lovely. People love her. Sure. And I walk her every day in a little alley in New York where it's next to NYU and it's a very bucolic alley. So all the NYU students get their pictures taken there. And so you see a lot of people in caps and gowns. Sure. So a lot of young couples go there because women like to women like to be photographed there. Yeah. So you see couples like the boyfriend has taken the picture. You know, you've seen this a million times now. It's a new thing. The boyfriend takes the picture and she's like this. Then she goes, let me see it. Yeah. And she looks like she goes, no, no, no, no, she goes back to the video village. Exactly. So she gets kills and he does. Yeah. Yeah. That's brutal. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I'm in my 40s. Yeah. Just pass that stage. Because it's a little alley with no cars. I can let Rosie off the leash a little because she poops a little faster that way. Yeah. The freedom. And then she go if somebody goes, oh, she goes over. And they like to take pictures with her. So she's become one time. I was just sitting. I was like sick and I'm walking with Rosie and I were both. I don't know. We'd been through something together. Yeah. Both stick all night. We get sick at the same time. That's fun. And we're walking in the alley and this girl and her friends are taking pictures and she goes, oh my god. Can we take a picture with your dog? And I just go, yeah. And I just, I clicked the leash off and I just said, go take a picture and Rosie just walks over and she sits facing the camera. Like she just sits so old and they were like, what the fuck? Go ahead. She goes listen. Here's the deal. Yeah. I've been up all night. We're gonna do three shots. I'm gonna let you edit one of them. Okay. Are we in there? Are we in? Yeah. It's a shot. That's exactly it. I have a worse problem where murder will. pin the leash when any woman goes - A jog! - It will be on Broadway, middle of fucking crowd in "Mert ol' Go." Just put all of the weight and I'm like, yeah, and then I look like abusive, 'cause I'm like, get back there, you fucking bitch. She's like, it's just chaotic. She just brings, I wish I love, but she does bring it. Fuck, there are two things I wanted to ask you about before, before you leave. One of them was, I watched "Poodie Tang." - Oh God. - It was, but can I tell you something? - Yeah. - What if, how fun was it to make that move? - It was fun to film. - That's what I mean. - Yeah. - You can tell, I know people are like, I enjoy it. - What do they, what's that noise? - I can go, I can move the fucking stuff. (laughing) - I knew that was, there was a lot of packed in that. - I watched it being like, I had so much fun watching it because it was like eating something that they no longer make. - Yeah, you were like, they don't make fun. - Yeah. - It was like that. - Like the entire, first off, watching David Tell act in a role. - David Tell didn't want to be, he didn't want to do it. Like he doesn't want to, he just wants to live his life. - Yeah. - So like, we'd be filming a scene. He's in the scenes with Robert Vaughn. - Yeah, he plays right hand man. - Yeah, so we're shooting a scene where it's like me and Robert Vaughn and he's there. And Dave kept pitching me things. Like most comics, pitch ideas 'cause they want more time. - Sure. - But he's like, how about if I say Mr. Lectural, let me go get the car and I leave. 'Cause he just wanted no smoke cigarettes outside. - Yeah. - And he'd go like, he kept pitching ways to get out of the scene. And I'd be like, Dave, if you're willing to stand here for one hour, you're in the movie forever. Like then you don't have to, you can go home and then you're in the movie. - That's a good way of putting it. - Forever and ever. - Yeah. - But if you leave, you're not in it. - You're not just needing an hour of your time. - And he's just like, can I just like get his take his coat and then just go to the closet and then not come back? - Because a lot of times when a tell is in stuff, he's just a tell. Like in train rack, he played the bum, but he was a tell. And this was like the first thing I saw of a tell. - He was good, he's a good actor. - Right, yeah he is. - And he's like a shitchman. - A good shitty henchman. - Yes he is. - To take out hoody things. - Yes. - But then you-- - But yeah, so we-- - The cameos by the way. - If you re-watch Poodytank, you had everybody in that one. - I don't remember. - I mean, JB smooth, obviously Chris Rock is Poodytank's friends, but Jennifer-- - Yeah, Jennifer Coolidge. - Coolidge is awesome. - Yeah, I wrote that part for her. - She's phenomenal. - She's one of the funniest people in the world. - She's the Darth Vader of the Poodytank. - That's right. - Of-- - It wanted to psychs in it. - She's great. - As the running, I loved wanted psychs, but Todd Barry getting the hooker. - Yes, Todd Barry. - Yeah, there's like a little Todd Barry cameos. - Yeah, there's Rick Shapiro. - Rick Shapiro is the bum that he killed the-- - He shoots 'em, yeah. - And then when he's shooting the gun, he's going bang, bang, bang, while he's shooting an actual gun. - Yeah, he's saying bang. - He was so Rick Shapiro. - Bang, bang. - Obviously, he's like really Rick Shapiro and Lucky Louie. - Yeah. - But you got like a perfect encapsulation of Rick Shapiro. - That's right. - He's like booty tank. - And he comes out of the knife. - And he's like, "Fuck you." - And everybody who looks his ass. - But there was so many, if you're a comedy fan, watching that feels so fun. 'Cause you just go like, "Oh, that's." - Keep seeing those people, yeah. - See those people and you go, "What they became." - Yeah. - Also, that was my first real experience with JB Smooth. - When I was young, it was the greatest. I made a movie a couple years before that called "Tomorrow Night" and he's like, he's a co-star, he's a big part of it. - Yeah. - But I love JB. He's one of the funniest people in the world. - But that was my first experience with him. - Yeah. - I remember watching it. - And then I wanted to rewatch it. And I remember, I just like, I put it on and I was like, "Dude, we don't fucking make movies that are. " - Well, it was a real mess 'cause I made it and I really, Paramount paid for it. Chris was a really big star. - Yeah. - And so he-- - That was right after Bigger and Blacker? - I think so. Well, he was doing the Chris Rock show and I was writing for him. - Yeah. - And we were winning, we won an Emmy for writing on the show and he was just all over the place. He was killing. - Yeah. - And Pudi Tang was a character that I had written for the show as a guest on his show. - Yeah, I remember played by Lance who was just a guy in the office next to me, Lance Crowther, who was really great. - So that's how you got him? - Yeah, Lance was my friend and he's, him and Ali, the Roy were a comedy team. They had a comedy team back in the '80s called Mary Wong. That was any of their comedy team. And the two of them used to perform together in comedy clubs in New York. That's how I got to know them. And then they all were writers on the show, all of us, three of us in one day. - And won it, right? - And so I had this idea 'cause we used to have guests on the show like Lenny Kravitz and Maxwell, I think, I think his name was Maxwell. - Oh yeah, it was. - I think Maxwell was the guy who really became Pudi Tang because he would come on with a shirt that showed both nipples. - Yeah, which also could be Kravitz. - Yeah, yeah. - And Chris would talk to him and he'd just go, "Yeah, it's just all sex all the time." - It's just all sex all the time. - Yeah, and then I had this 'cause I used to, when I was a kid, I used to talk nonsense a lot. I used to, the Pudi Tang language has a black feeling to it, but it's from when I was a little, I used to say like, "Putin' tain on the clan of Santa "Plan of Clanty Plannies." I used to just talk like that with friends. - So you, it's a sada tei. - Sada tei, man. And yeah, I just, man, I'm just being like, just saying this, you know, I'm on a date on the dittism. - On the flip side, I'm on the flip side. - And for Chris and for Chris to go, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we did it, the first time we did it on the show, it just exploded. Like, there was people on Hot 97 radio, like, talking about it and-- - Really? - And everywhere, suddenly, faster than was possible. - What, we, it was like a viral thing. - It was huge, and we, this is back in the '90s. And we would go, we shot a thing where he's running for president, and we did like a campaign spot. So we took him out into the street to shoot some pieces, and people flocked to him. And it was like, this isn't even, there's no way this many people have seen it, but there's something in the air about him. - Yeah. - So I wrote the movie, and it was like a kind of, you know, it was this adventure, strange thing, and they gave us three million bucks to make it, which is very little amount of money. - Oh, that's my heist is lit up in today's current thing. I went, oh shit. - Yeah, it's like nothing. - So that back then was like, no. - No, 'cause it was a real 35-millimeter movie. - Yeah. - And anyway. - So then Paramount got an idea that it might be really a big deal. So suddenly, 'cause it was supposed to be with a small division, but then they ate it, and suddenly there was pressure for the thing to succeed. - Is that what ruined it? - I think so, 'cause, well, also I was brand new at making films, it was a lot of pressure. Shooting it was pure joy, but when I cut it, I cut it linear, like a, like a totally, this is a movie about a guy named Pudi Tang, and it's a serious movie. - Yeah. - And I cut it just, here's what happens next. There was no flash to it, and they hated it, they hated it, and I got fired from the movie, and they recut it and put in all this goofy stuff. - Well, that makes a lot of sense. - Nairation and stuff that I, that was not my thing. - The one thing I was gonna ask, which doesn't seem your style after watching Louis, after watching all that stuff you've made, it seemed like they cut it like a music video. - Yeah, that was very interesting. - Do you know when the in Austin Powers, where they do the scenes, and he'd be dancing with like the sexy girls, and go to the next scene? That's what it felt like a little bit. - Yeah, there was that kind of feeling to it, and also they explained some of the jokes. - Sure. - Like there's a scene where Pudi lives in a, he lives in a nightclub, called Pudi's, and then he goes up in an elevator, out of this red elevator, from the inside of the nightclub to his apartment. - Awesome. - And so the crowd, 'cause he performs with Missie Elliott. - Yes. - And then he gets mobbed all the way to the elevator, and one girl gets in with him. - And she's crying on his shoulder the whole time. - And screaming, and that, and he's-- - 'Cause that first it looks like it's, they're having sex, and then when it pulls out, and they both have their pants on-- - Yeah, no, she's just all like-- - She's just clawing on him. - And he just wants to go home. So he leaves her outside, and she's screaming at the door. And then he leaves, he pushes out a little sauce of milk, and she gets on her hands and knees, and she drinks it. That's the scene, and it was a scene that was just a kind of a silent, it's a thing as an audience, you just observed this scene, and you'd go, "What the fuck did I just watch?" So, they didn't like it, Paramount. They're like, "What is he gay?" They're like, "They want him to be getting laid." - And stuff, slamming ass. - Yeah, so the movie has narration where it says, like, "I know you're wondering why didn't he have sex with her?" - Yeah. - 'Cause she's drinking milk off the floor, she's crazy. Like, they explain it, they really broke my heart when I saw that, I was like, "Why would you explain that? "Why wouldn't you just let an audience be curious "and wonder what the fuck they just watched?" - When do you see that? When you're fired from a movie like that, and they recut it, do you see it when it comes out like everybody else? - And not well, so, it was a bad loss. Like, when I was kicked off of it, it was bad, it was bad. Like, my last day in the editing room, I went back to my hotel, they're like, "We have no one's paying your bill at the hotel." Like, it was like, they were so mad. It was really violent. - Really? - Hearty else was really bad news. - Oh my God. - And I looked at what I remember. - Fuckin'. I was really upset at the time, but anyway. And then so I just left. I said, okay, you can have it. And then I got, I was doing an interview for like Entertainment Weekly or somebody, and they said, how do you feel? 'Cause the movie was about to come out. And I said, I don't know, I haven't seen it. And so Paramount caught wind of it. That I said that. And they made a gesture and said, let us fly you out and show you the cut. And so I went out to LA and I sat in a room in a big screening room and there's a projectionist with thick glasses. And he goes, what do you hear? And I go, I mean, here's to watch Poodie Tang. And he goes, I heard that's a stinker. - Yeah, no, probably here you go. Fuck you library man. Why the fuck is he like? - Hey, you see, what's wrong? - Look, head out, but that's it. - And I sat there and I watched it. Were you by yourself? - By myself, completely alone. I just sat and I watched it. And I was like, oof, I hated it. - Were there parts, were there things that you made that you liked that you watched them before? - I think the scene with him and the, well, yeah, they, they, everything. They put in jokes through narration on everything and I, I just thought it was horrible. - Yeah. - But, but that's what happens. Also, to be clear, my cut was indefensible. - Really? - Yeah, my cut-- - Have you ever come back in like-- - And I never really went back and watched it. - If you went back and watched it now, where you have all this experience and you're like-- - I'd like to someday sit and watch it. It's the somewhere, my editor Doug Abel, who's a great guy, he edited the movie with me. We both got fired. - Yeah, that's fun though. - He recently sent me-- - The fire with the friends is always better. - We have like an offline, like the avid offline, low res. I think it's the only version of the original Pudi Tank Cut. There's no narration. It's just like taking the series, the story very seriously all the way throughout. There are some things in it when I watched it that they managed to keep. And I think every, the people who did it, did it, they did a good job. Like they did the good job with the-- - I think they did the job they're hired for. - That's exactly right. - They were hatching. - And a lot of people love the movie. So that's just me and obviously I'm too close to it. - I would say they love Pudi Tank. I think Pudi Tank is the character that you like the movie where you don't go, "Oh, I love the whole movie I like." - That's right. - The Pudi Tank stuff where Pudi Tank did this and I like this scene. - Yeah, but you know, I don't have any regrets about it. I learned a lot. - But that's interesting. I didn't even know that you got fired from that. After watching that, I was like-- - Watching it stylistically, you're like, "This doesn't feel like Louis." - No. - There's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel-- When you see written and directed by Louis CK, you go, after watching Louis, you know, and watching Lucky Louis and all that stuff, you go, he's got, there's a lot more, he's more artistic than this. Like-- - Oh, thank you. - It felt like a TRL music. - Yeah, it's goofy. - Yeah, and then finally, before you leave, I don't think anybody that knows me and has known me forever knows the infamous story, this was like, you don't remember this. But I've always wanted to talk to you about this 'cause I've carried around this shame. - Well, what the fuck? - 2000, and you were shameless, it just came out, you were building chewed up. - 27, 20.07. - Oh, seven. Oh, seven, oh wait, yeah. - Yeah, because we would run to where you were doing sets. - And Joe list, you didn't know Joe at the time. - Didn't know him at the best. - This is when we were coming best friends. - Yeah. - And we, at the Old Boston. - Yeah, and the Old Boston was called, got bought out and it got changed to the comedy village. - Right. - And it was next to the firehouse. And Joe got hired to MC the Monday Night Show's there, which were a marathon. They'd started 8 PM and they'd go till 2 AM. - Wow. - All barked in audience. - Wow. - And I was one of the barkers down I found if I barked, if I sat on the stool in front of the club, I could smoke cigarettes, talk to other comics, and then occasionally go, "Hey, great comedy show." And they countered it as barking, but I was just hanging out. - Yeah, sure. - And Joe and I were drinking. And this is when Joe and I both, both of us have stopped drinking, both of us were heavy drinkers. - Yeah. - And one of the waitresses liked both of us. She was just cool to us. She would give us these fucking big shots of Jamison. So we'd drink Jamison and we'd have Budweiser right inside the door and we'd sit outside and it was, I mean, when you're an open micer and you're falling in love with New York comedy and you're like really getting to do it. - Sure, I remember those days. - It's the best. And Joe was opening for DiPolo. So Joe actually knew real comics. - Sure. - And Joe, so there's one night, it's a Monday Night, and Joe is like, "Oh, DiPolo is at the cellar. I gotta go over there and get my check." 'Cause I think they just did like the Hartford funny bone together. And he's like, "So I gotta go get my check from DiPolo. If he jumps off, go on and bring up the next comic book." - The guy who's on stage. - Yeah, whoever's on. And I'm like, "Yeah, whatever, hangin' out." So I'm hangin' out and Joe comes back and he goes and brings up the next comic. And I'm like, "Yeah, that's how he goes." Fucking Louie's going on around the corner. And I go, "Oh, hell yeah." And he goes, "I bet he'd go up here. I bet he'd go up if you told him we had a show going." And I go, "Yeah." And he goes, "All right, so go to the cellar and let him know we got a show going." And I go, "Fucking, all right." I'm a massive comedy fan. Like, it is, it's, it's-- - How old are you at this point? - 23 years old. - And I was about 40. - Yeah, you were 41. It's like, I'll tell you how deep I was into it. Like, you talked to me and Matt Ruby and a couple other people on the train one time after you put out Shameless. And I just asked you about the venue, but the whole time I was just like, think of something that he can answer. And I was like, "I like the Peter Fonda Theater. That's a cool venue." And you're like, "Oh, it was. It was pretty up close." And you're like, "Yeah." And we went on and did a mic. But so I was like, all right, I've talked to-- Now I've made this, I made a similar mistake with Patrice where I had had a nice interaction thinking-- - So you thought that was it? - We're short-hand. I could talk to Patrice and the Patrice just fucking. - Yeah. - Swattered it away. You know, it gave me like a, they'll talk to me, open-micro. - Okay. - And so I'm nervous going over. - Yeah. - And you're on stage and Shaq. - R-I-P, the old bouncer at the cellar. - Yeah. - You got to look at you killing me. Everyone called Shaq. A big J had introduced me to him. So Shaq would let me into the cellar to watch comics. I could go stand by the Ray Romano. - We weren't working there yet. - No, you got four or five years out from working with a cellar. - Yeah. - I'm an open-micro. I'm a Barker. I'm just a Barker and or whatever. And I'm like, all right, great. And I'm a little drunk. I've been drinking. - With chop. (laughing) - And I go around the corner and I go Shaq. Is Louis on? And he goes, "Yeah, Louis is on. You can watch him." And I go, "Great." And I run down there and you were doing the joke about when girls go crazy, they show their tits. When women go crazy, they drown their kids in a bathtub. And so you're like, and you were like, you closed on it and I got to see you do that joke and I was like, "That's great." And then we're in the hallway. You walk out in the hallway. - Yeah. - And I'm an open-micro and I'm trying, this was the worst thing I could have done was I was trying to use slang instead of just saying what it was. - Oh no. - So instead of going, "Hey, we have a show, we have a show around the corner of the old Boston." - Great. It's a couple of people, but I know you're working out material. - Yeah, I would've been thinking. - It's like a moment there. We're gonna be there all night. - Putting myself in that moment, I would've been like, "Oh, that's nice, thank you." That's what it's like. - I don't ask. - What'd you say? - Oh, fuck Louis. - You could off stage. - I don't remember this at all. - I know you don't. And you shouldn't. And that makes me very happy. - I mean, so far none of it is me so I couldn't remember your memories. - You come out in the hallway, we're in the back hall. - You ever watch a movie that's all flashback from one person's point of view, but they keep having scenes that he's not in. - Yeah, and then you had to remember that. - Yeah, that's impossible. - There's movies that are like a whole dream, but he wasn't in that scene. - Or they hear dialogue, "Rigo, you couldn't have even heard that." - Or just a tiny tangent. Sometime in the cheapest movies, there's a guy looking at somebody with binoculars. - Yes. - So you see the inside, but inside of the binoculars, there's cutting, there's like close ups. - Really funny. - It's like, "Well, those are amazing." - That's amazing. - You're not kidding. - You're too much shot with those binoculars. - Yeah, there's like trading singles inside. Anyway, go on. So instead of saying, "Hey, we're doing a show "what you'd like to do a set." - You come out and I go, great set, Louis. And you go, "Thanks, man." And I go, "Oh, that last joke's killer." And you go, "Thanks, man." And you're like looking at your notes and you're about to walk up the steps. - Yeah. - To go to the olive tree. - Sure. - And I go, "The village is working." And you go, "What?" (laughing) And I go, "What?" - And I go, "The village is working." And again, very polite, you go, "What?" And then I see your face go into this, like, and I go, "I don't know what I'm talking about." And you go, "I don't know what you're talking about." And you go, "And then you turn, "and you turn, you go up the steps." (laughing) - Oh my God. - I remember it just like it was walking yesterday. - Oh my God. - It was horrible. - It was summer and it was warm. And I go outside and I light a cigarette and I turn the corner to walk back up. And Joe list, both of our close friends. - Yeah. - He's standing out front doing a very Joe list thing. - Yeah. - He's going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's going." - You're talking to him? - And I went, I told him the village is working. And Joe crumped his nose like he always does. And he goes, "What the fuck did you say?" (laughing) And he still got his boss and accent. And he goes, "What the fuck did you say?" And I go, "I said the village is working." And Joe goes, "No." - "We're in the village." - Yeah, what a nice nose says at all. - And I go, "I don't know." - And he goes, "You're slumping down on that fucking stool outside and being like-- - Oh, no. - Fuck! - And he goes, "You should have just," and so for the rest of the, I mean, for like weeks after that. Joe was like, "Hey, Louie's around the corner. You want to go tell him the fucking village is working." - That's incredible. (laughing) - I was like, "Dude, there's going to be a day where I can go." - I'm so relieved because I was worried that I was an asshole in this story. - You were polite. (laughing) - You were polite. - That is 100% your fault. - 100% my fault. And absolutely, I know where the moment was. - Yeah. know what it was, and this is where a lot of people get in trouble, they try to be something they aren't. They're a poser, and I was being a pusher. But also having had a conversation, like when I was that age, 20s, maybe same age, maybe same exact situation, working at Boston Comedy Club, at the same location, and being in the village, wishing I could work at the cellar, knowing a dormant, different generation dormant, would let me go down and watch till SD would go get the fuck out, like I kicked out all the time. Really? Yes. I didn't know that because I'd stay in the hallway and try to see. Are you on the hallway and you're like, look. Yeah. Oh my God. And that's awesome. That's just, you know, Bill Hicks would be on stage, or Alan Havie, or, you know, John Stewart. Jerry, all these guys. And so the thing was, though, that when Boston, I opened for Jerry Seinfeld, when I was like 19, at a club in Boston called the Paradise, they still, you can still do stand-up, there's a great room. And I opened for him there. He was doing like, it was like a 900 seat room. Sure. He was that level. He didn't have a series yet. And so I opened for him there, and he liked me. So he took me to a few places. Great. And I got to know him. And then he tossed me, it stopped using me. Sure. But I was at catcherizing star in New York, and I was sitting on the stool, and he came in, he was doing Letterman. And back then, when someone was doing Letterman, it was this thing Jerry's going to be on Letterman tomorrow, and he's at every club working it out. I caught the very talent of that when I moved here in the '06, they were like, if you're doing Conan, the producer was with him, and they were going like everywhere, so Broadway, there, and back then, to do Letterman was a life changing, it was a big deal. And so Jerry was walking around with Mario Joyner, and they were working out the set together. And I was like, it's a good thing. Yes, he is. So I met Catch in Jerry walks in, and there's a hubbub that he's here to do his five minutes and go, and he does, I'm watching him, I'm sitting right in the stool that's right by the kitchen, and he does the set, and I saw a bit for him. I saw a tag, and I knew him a little from Boston, and he walked, it was a bit where he was talking about milk, and he was talking about how once you're racing against the expiration date, you know, you have too much milk, you're washing your face, it was a great bit. And he said, how do they know that's the date? How do they know that that day is the day? That was it, that's all he had. And I was like, I got it. So he's coming off stage, and I just go, Jerry, and he looks at me like, no, yeah, this kid, what? And I go, I got a bit, and he goes, go ahead, he's kind of like, you have 10 seconds. And I go, you say, how do you know that's the day? Is the guy milk in the cow, and the cow goes July 3rd? That's very funny. And I knew it would work because of his funny face, being a cow. Yeah, the commenting. And he goes, oh, thank you. I go, yeah. So then he does it. I watch Letterman. He's on panel with Letterman. And this is a point in my career where I was nobody, and the letterman was like on the other side of a thick wall, like Hannibal Lecter, you know, like just like a thick, you can't touch him. I myself cannot. Did you smell my permit? What did most of them say to you? He said that premise has been done. He said, I can smell your cut. How can he smell your cut? I can smell your cut. It's coming through the wall. I threw my come on him. I myself could not smell his cut. I could not smell Letterman's cut. I want to call the episode that. So just jerry's on Letterman. He's sitting on panel. He's telling jokes and he does that thing. How do they know that that's the day that crowds I'm listening to crowds building? That was the day that they milk in the cow. The cow goes July 3rd. Fucking explosive applause. And Letterman comes out of the applause and goes, the cow says July 3rd and Jerry goes, yeah, the cow and they reiterate it. And I was just like, how you're in your apartment? Is this when you're living with the Apollo in a story? By myself and Bleaker Street with a Murphy bed. Oh my god, Charles and Charles. Yes. And I had a VHS tape of it that I still think I have. Got to hold on it. I think I still have it. This tape. That feels so great. I was just like and so the next day I'm walking around I think Central Park and I see Jerry bump into him on the street and he goes, hey, you're bit killed. And he goes, now you know that your mind the way you think and your comedy can work in the big leagues. Like now you know that. And I was like, so I felt like I now me and Jerry are, you know, connected. I've got a Letterman thing. So then like a month later, he goes on the tonight show. Johnny Carson does the joke again. I think he closed with it. Kills. And so then I see him at catch and I just walk up real familiar. Hey, I saw you did the bid on Carson and he goes, what? Like, do you remember this cow? And he's like, uh-huh. Oh, oh, man. He's kind of like that's enough now. Oh, man. That's enough now. That was Patrice going. Yeah, just no. Is a weird thing. Comedians have a weird Darwin thing inside of us that we will slap guys down a little bit. That's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. And I don't like myself for it, but I feel like I'm feeling, fulfilling some kind of role that I'm not aware of. You know what it is? It's nature. It is nature. And when you don't, the, the herd gets out of control if you don't call it, yeah, you have to go like sometimes go, shut the fuck up. Yes. That's just. And I talked to Bobby Kelly about this all the time. My generation, we failed because we weren't mean enough to the people after us. Right. Where were you going to shut up? You fucking hacks. Stop doing crap work. Kind of a deal that you need to. It's like, I'm reading this biography of Abraham Lincoln. It's, uh, by, by Carl Sandberg. And it's very detailed. It's, it's when he was living in Kentucky. And he was a real ham. And he would sit on a fence supposed in town and he would just talk shit with him. And that his father would be walking by sometimes. And he'd see his son just like talking. And he just, knock him off. That's just push him off the fence. Push him off the fence. That's the fuck up. He gets up. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah. Like I was saying, I have fuck my dad, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a sword fight that cocksucker one day. And I hope he's old. Ridiculous is out on Netflix. Go watch it. Yes. Uh, thanks for coming by, dude. Thanks. That was really fun. That was fun. Yeah, man. Fucking (upbeat music)