150: Surface of the Moon with Kelsey Cook | Soder Podcast | EP 146

Hey, everybody, I'm still on the road casual lean. I'm in Portland, Maine September 10th through the 12th at Empire Comedy Club. The early shows are sold out, but we still have late shows with tickets available. Those are at danceurter.com. And then if you're in Hartford, Connecticut, my birthplace, I will be there. September 17th through the 21st, uh, doing five shows. No, I'm sorry. That's way too many days on the other 17th through the 19th. To me, to give you false information, I will be there Thursday, September 17th, Friday, September 17th, 18th and Saturday, September 19th. danceurter.com, um, there can be a lot of fun shows. Also, just go to my website, all the dates are there through the end of the year. And check out punchup.live, got movie watchalongs. You can also sign up for my mailing list. So when I come to your city, you already know. And these little intros don't mean jack squat. Enjoy the episode. Have a good week. I, um, I'm always curious about the, a question I've never got to ask you about the foosball hustling. Has it ever gotten dangerous? Has there ever been a time where you go like, where someone loses and you go, this could be that they're, yeah, you know, I'm trying to think not dangerous. But there are men who you can tell that they're not chill about it. Yeah, I don't think and, and I'm saying this, I greatly understand someone being like cocky at a bar game and then losing money in a hustling, what hustling being hustled in general would make me furious. Well, for sure. And then it's like people are generally drinking. And so also in like this day and age, Venmo, it's not like people are only putting money on the table from like what they have in their wallet. Sure. As soon as somebody gets their Venmo out, I'm like, oh, I'm worried for you. Like, I don't know if you know your own limits here because I will, I'll take your whole bank account and have you done that? Have you had to like cut someone off like a bartender or they're like, do it again. And you're like, no, this can't happen. I can't take, take your money. I'm worried for like your kids. Like, am I taking away food from your table right now? Because I guess in my mind, it goes to like the worst place scenario where like someone's wife is calling you and being like, he lost her child's dental fund. And you go, well, he said no spinnies and that would have helped him because you are. You grew up your mom as a professional. It was a professional football player, both my mom and dad. That's how they met. Damn, they met at a tournament. I think we've talked about this before, but that is such a cool like you were born in the way that like old Vikings were born. Where it was like, you were written about like you were prophesized. It's so it's such a like white trash origin story. It's like my guy Fieri like coming out of the flames. Like I do love it though that you are, you are your parents meet at a foosball tournament. Were they, did they play each other? God, I don't know. I don't know if that's how it actually started. If it was just like they were just like, she's wondering if your dad had a line where he's like, great wrist work. What are you? You like a rough, scary hand jobs. You got the strength of a champ. You just tear it right off. Did they push you to play foosball? Yeah, so there are pictures of me staying on a stool when I'm like two. And so I could be tall enough to see the top of the table. And then they would put their hands on top of my hands and teach me how to play. So it's like before I even have memories, there are pictures of me playing. I had no choice, but I mean, I love it so much. I'm so grateful. Yeah, sure. Okay. Sure, Michael Jackson. You got Joe Jackson into foosball. They tiger mom do. They're tiger mom and you're like, now you kick now and you grow up and you're like, I love this. It's like. I don't know. When you were, did you notice when you, you know, you start it too, I would probably say kids start playing foosball like eight or you already nasty? There are pictures of me playing like, so my mom was a high school French and German teacher. She was my high school French teacher, which is nuts. Yeah, she would take its banish. No, she was the fucking best. Oh, really? She was the teacher that everybody loved. Oh, that's great. I had a couple classmates whose parents were the teachers that people hated and I felt so bad for those people. Oh, because you also, I'm assuming if your parent is a teacher, you know pretty quick if people like them or not. Yeah, yeah. There's definitely like the reputation and the hallways of like your mom's school, your dad fucking sucks, your dad failed me. But I like, that sucks as it, especially when in high school, you're just like, you want people to like you, you reputations everything and it, you could tell it like, tarnish some people's reputation if their parent was a teacher who was an asshole. Just the thought of like being like pulling your mom aside and being like, hey, can you fucking lay up on the tests? You're fucking, I can't get invited to a party. You're fucking really, because there is. You're gonna lose my virginity out here, you're fucking this. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna have a dry high school unless you start fucking really get thrown out some bees to people that don't deserve it. But that easy thing where you really do think about it, like the popularity mixed with the fact of your parent being at work, so your mom was fun. She was cool. So she would play German rap. That's crazy. Like blast from the speakers in her classroom on the first day of school. That was like how she would welcome her new. That's an aggressive form of rap. I'm Stein. Oh yeah, that's not German rap. That's just fucking, that's just wrong Stein, dude. Your mom would play do-host? Yes. Do-host. Do-host. Oh my god. I hadn't heard those words and so, like, I completely forgot that that was a song. The part where it goes, the part where it goes, the part where it goes, the part where it goes. I don't know German, but I just know a few-hosts in the song. That's scary shit. That was my mom. That would, okay. I get why she was a favorite teacher. If I was walking by a class on my backpack and I would be like, "Nine!" "Froinds!" Kind of like, "Is that fucking?" Dude, she's dressed like the lead singer. Have you ever seen their stage performances? No. Probably a long time ago. And please look this up. "Rom Stein's live performance day like light themselves on fire." That's just like a band that, like, is sitting around in turtlenecks, decisions fucking sprockets. This is, like, day like more known for their live performances. Oh my god. Oh my god. I did not. If, honestly, and this is, I don't know if you and Chad ever do like edibles or whatever. We're so boring. We stopped drinking, like, almost two and a half years ago, and then we haven't even done anything else since then. But maybe you guys find your way to having five milligram of edibles. Sure. If you're going to have a little, maybe even two if you're a grandma. Just a pinch. Just a little pinch. Just a little pinch. Put on "Rom Stein" because you'll know it. Well, I feel like that's going to give me the worst trip of magic. Yeah, like that. That's what they would do. I can't watch that high. Yeah, you can. Yeah. But that's just how we make you a mental giant. This is your training. This is you and Chad's training. I'm going to make you guys marijuana warriors. But watch "Rom Stein." Yeah, you guys. Yeah. The only way back is to "Rom Stein." But splice that under the videos of people who thought, "The dude just walks around in a flaming fucking jacket." Oh my god. Oh, dude. That used to be early YouTube for me. Smoking resin and fucking watching "Rom Stein" is place your mom would blast that on the first day. I've taken German because of your mom. If I would have heard that. So many kids did just because my mom was the German teacher. She played Wolfmother. It's great. She just was like, she was just so cool. Like, always been such a cool mom, such a cool teacher. But yeah, I mean, there was a kid. And so you never had the thing of like, your mom's like, everyone was like, "Oh, your mom's." So when they found out they were like, "Okay, did you have like older kids being cool to you because of that?" Yeah. Because so that you were asked about foosball. We would like that. I hate what you say. I hate that. She has the proper pronounce. You know what? There isn't one. You can say. It's a foosball. You can say foos or foos. Foos. I have asked my mom. Okay. It's like, it's either way. Foos. She just always says foosball. And so I said foosball. And again, quick note before we get back to the story of foosball, if you're hustling people use foosball. Because if I heard someone go, "Oh, playing foosball," I go, "Why'd you say it like that?" Something's a rye here. If you went, "Oh, play a little foosball," I go, "Fuck you. You're going to take my fucking money." No. That's all that is my Roth IRA. What's happening? A little bit of side that I'm willing to touch and I might resolve it. So with high school with foosball. Yeah, my mom. She started the foosball club at the high school. So she got a table there and she would teach kids how to play. Sick. So I would come over from the elementary school because it was like walkable. So I would play after school against the high school boys when I was like in fourth grade and I would beat them. And so that was, but again, I know that sounds like cocky. It is truly the only thing in my life that I have such an unfair advantage of. Well, you were born into, it was truly you were born at the gym. It's like how kids of like martial arts and structures are kids of like boxing coaches. You just know how to do it. You either really take to it or you hate it. And my brother and I both loved it so much. So that's where I was going to ask, your brother, a older? Younger. So I'm the oldest. So what's that sibling rivalry when you're beating him at foosball? Oh, my brother can beat me. My brother's really good. Is he better than you? This is the ultimate question for a boy. Here's where we tear families apart. - I don't know now-- - I just send this to a brother. (laughing) - He doesn't really play anymore. - Now you could whoop his ass? - I think it's gonna be pretty evenly matched now. - Man, thank you. - For Thanksgiving dinner, for his family and where you and Chad serve the table, it should be a foosball game. - Oh, fuck yeah. - You need to incorporate it into family events for seating. - For this. - And this is just because I'm an only child and I've always wanted sibling rivalry. But I feel like-- - That's awesome. I haven't even pictured that. That would be nice. - Yeah. - Just a casual, just like kicking around between some gravy. Yeah, I mean, there's no casual if it's a whole house. - That would be my next question. Did it get hyper competitive? - Yeah, I mean, we're a super competitive family. All of us, it was always weird to play against each other because we knew you like come to know each other's game and you're shot, so it's like-- - Sure, that's very easy. - It's very different than just playing somebody you've never played before, but my brother and my mom went to France together to compete in the World Cup of foosball, so my mom was in the senior division. And my brother was in the junior division. I was in the, I couldn't make it because it was like, you're in the biggest pool of people waiting against. - So where are you? - Yeah, so where you were was like the real deal shit where you would have bumped into like real pros. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was not, I was not making those qualifications, but he used to be really good. He's still really good. - So they go to France for the World Cup, did they either one of them place? - I'm trying to remember, it's been a long time. I think they did. US usually does pretty well. - That's so crazy that there's like a US foosball team, and there's just like, what I always love about it, and I think this is something that I learned from, like Gordon didn't learn, but just loved from like Christopher Guest movies. He always does like the weird, you know, like best in shows, about dogs. Mighty Wind is about folk singers. I always love something that's like, there's a whole world, I'm a pro wrestling fan. That's the same thing. - Oh, right, right, yeah. - There's like a whole world of stuff that people in the regular world would go like, what? - I know, and we want so badly to get the sport out. There are more, we just had, okay, so there was a documentary called "Foosballers" that came out in 2020. - Okay. - That was incredible. The guy did such a good job, Joe Heslinga. My mom and I are both in it. And then they broadcast this was like a week ago, the world championships from last year on ESPN2. So that was exciting for us. - You're not on the Ocho anymore. - I guess it technically was the Ocho, but they played on ESPN2, but it says the Ocho on there, but. - Is that funny? It's a real thing now. - I know. - The Ocho like Dodgeball made fun of it, and ESPN was like, we'll just do it. We'll just-- - He's fucking own this. - Yeah, we'll just own, that is the smart, that's one of the only smart things that company has done. It's like, we'll just lean into having obscure sports on the eighth ESPN even though we don't have three, three, seven. Guys, these cell phone bills are getting out of hand. I had the reason I'm laughing is 'cause this is an edit, 'cause I said the company I'm with and I'm furious and I'm switching, but it is true. This is why this is a good ad read because this is absolutely true. Mint mobile, 15 bucks a month premium wireless, all plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk, and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. 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(upbeat music) I always think it's interesting because there's like in these worlds, it's like big deals. - Right. - Remember when the meme got popular with the pro bowler when he was going, whoever you are, I am. (laughing) And everyone was like, pro bowling's crazy. It's like, well, if you grew up with a family member working at a bowling alley, you know how crazy that world is. Like bowling was way more mainstream than foosball, but like-- - Absolutely, yeah. - That side world and I didn't, my dad was a bartender at a bowling alley. I could have been-- - Oh, really? - And I just didn't wanna do it. I learned how to, I know how to do the toss where it moves, where you put English on it, but I like literally all I wanted to do was go outside and play like catch. And he was like, well, I'm working all day. So you can bowl for free. And I was like, it's for fat guys. But now-- - Take your fucking nachos. - Yeah, I know why. - But now if I would've, I feel like that would've been a cool thing. Like if I were to follow the path you've gone down. - Yeah. - Just to casually go bowling with friends and be like, you guys wanna put a hundred bucks on it? - Yeah, right. - Bowl straight a couple and be like, I'm doing good and then start ripping that leg. - Dude, that's exactly what I did with football. It is so fun to just, because it's easy to look bad. - Yeah. - And you can do the granny a couple times, just like, and just-- - Or gutter it a couple and go like, it won't go straight. And someone's like, I'll play when you go, okay, as you pull out the wrist then, and you go, you're about to be in big, big trouble. I have the bigger, the rose in the ball. - I go, sorry, I had this in the car. - Yes, that's exactly what it's supposed. Like then you pull out your like, football grip glove, and you're like-- - You're the grip glove! - Yes, it's like, open your pen mom. Motherfucker. - So, when you put the glove on, you go, I only do cash. (laughing) It's like, go by there, you're like, putting it on and you go. Just to let you know, I will not accept credit. We, after I take the Netflix special in San Francisco, we drove up and recorded where Lakeport was, and I wanted to show them the bowling alley, and we turned in the corner in the parking lot, and it's just demolished. Like recently demolished, just like I think, and I was like, damn, 'cause I wanted to try to look inside, because one of my memories I have is when my dad would be working, and I'd be hanging out at the bowling alley, kids, like local rural kids would show up, and they'd be nasty at bowling. And that's, I think I got intimidated out of it. Kids with rat tails, just rolling like, rolling 225s, and you're like, you're like nine. Did you ever see a kid at a foosball tournament that you're like, oh, you're locked in? - Yeah, so there was a guy, I mean, he wasn't, he wasn't as young as me, but when he was doing that, he was known as Billy the Kid, because he was like-- - Please look him up, Billy the Kid foosball. - Billy the Kid, Billy Pappas. - Billy Pappas did a great job at bowling. - He might be in the Hall of Fame by now, but for a while, he was getting first at every tournament, and he was maybe 17 or 18, he was young, and then he was also going to the World Series of Poker, and dominating there, he just was, he really had-- - Yeah, autism for obscure things, where he's just locked it, but did you find it? (laughing) - I just got-- - They're all there's so good. - If you look at him now, it looks like he runs a vape shop. That's crazy, shut up, Billy, I wasn't sitting on it, I love it. - Billy, you're watching. - But he is a legend, he is listed as a legendary American professional foosball player. - I was fucking lol. - He's from Fucking Master Chosets. - Oh, okay. - That's so funny that accent where he's like, "Hey, there's no fucking spinnies kid." That's crazy, reach the final table of the prestigious 2014 World Series of Poker. - Yeah. - Finishing Fitzplace. - Okay. - I mean, he is decorated. - I'm telling you, there are people, and I am one of like many foosball kids where it's like lots of, there are lots of couples in the foosball world who have kids, and then they raise them, and the most recent World Championships, the girl who took first, Sullivan Aru, is like the daughter of two foosball players, she's like really young, she's maybe like 20 or something. This happens a lot where it's just like a foosball household. and they get really good. - Is, this is obviously pure ignorance 'cause I don't know the world of Fussball. But is there money in Fussball now because of places like Draft King's and Kalshi, 'cause that money can gamble on Fussball. - I don't know how much gambling is going on with it, if any, but it is, we're like, again, trying to get more eyeballs on the sport because in the '70s, that was the heyday. It was a million dollar tour. One of the years, in the '70s, we're like, that was the prize money. - That's like 20 million now. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was the prize money spread out amongst those tournaments that year. And like, if you took first, you were winning like a Jaguar, the Carton, like a live animal. - That'd be sick. - In Fussball, that's it. - It's just like, hold on, hold on, hold on, sorry, I got this thing, ain't just like fucking. - I always feel like that needs to be specified. - We can't pay it, but we got you a cat. How do you feel about a big cat? - It is a very tiger king vibe. - What's driving you off in a Jaguar? - Yeah, or a Porsche, like it was, it was a totally different time. It used to be, I think in the documentary, it was like the eighth biggest sport in the world. - That's crazy. - That's the point. It used to be huge. - Is there a foreign country that has like a huge Fussball thing? Is like Pakistan like super-induced or something? - Um, Belgium, uh, Spain, France. So they're mostly like Western Europe is super-induced. - Places where soccer is so huge because it's table soccer. - That makes sense. Inside, can't play soccer, play some Fussball. - You play table soccer, yeah. - Well, I'm really, I'm reading about one Billy Popus, aka Billy the Kid. He and, dude, this guy won the tornado, what's tornado format? - So tornado is, it's like the most widely recognized table. It's for like, I think the number one top of the line one. It's like what Chad and I have at home. It's a heavy, it's just like a really high quality table. - When you guys bought your house, 'cause you moved to Minneapolis, obviously, she'd been on the show and getting, you guys are getting married soon. - Sunday. - No way! - That is fucking awesome. - Thank you, this is such a good deal. - So it'll be easy. She just got married. - Oh yeah. - 'Cause this episode's coming out on Tuesday. - Okay, yeah. - It just came out and, where you guys getting married? - In Spokane. - I'm in Spokane. - This weekend? - I'm working Spokane Callie for. I swear to god. - We've got a better efficient. - Oh, that would've been so fun. I would've charged a full table. I would've charged for a tornado table on top of the line. - My dad is Marianos, which was very sweet. - That's so funny. Is he gonna play the trophy? - No, we're only doing 20 people. - That's sick. - And I could have, is just immediate family. - Are you guys gonna be in, can you guess that? - Oh my god, that's so funny. I didn't even think about that. We're gonna be in Spokane, me and Tom Fakar are gonna be there. - Oh, I love it too. - Yeah, we're gonna see Spider-Man. We're getting married. We're getting married, we're getting married to the new Spider-Man. So it's not your weekend now, it's all of our weekend. - This is so funny. Okay, seriously, come on. - Okay, we'll, we just need to make sure that like we get the family stuff done. We need to, but if you guys have everything done, I'll be there Thursday. - Okay. - Even if you guys wanna come back Thursday or Friday. - Okay. - You and Chad on the show would be fucking awesome. I'm also doing new stuff. - So I need the time. (laughing) - We'll just eat you two a cup. You'll be on 25. - Yeah, I know, well guys, that was great anyways. Here's one joke you've never heard. - All right, that's it. - All right, we're gonna go. - That's so funny. - Thanks. - 'Cause I was gonna say something 'cause you're doing the podcast. So I was like, oh, I'm in Spokane this week. - Oh my god, that's, yeah. So this week, my Netflix special comes out Tuesday. Well, it's already up by the time you guys hear this. And then we're getting married Sunday. - It's so fun. - It's like the most exciting week ever. - A lot of stress. - It's so, yes, it's like I had to break things up a little bit, leading up to it and be like, okay, how can I check things off beforehand to do list-wise so that when this week came, I could enjoy it and not totally stressed out. - So tomorrow you go back to Minneapolis. Then you all go to Spokane and-- - On Friday. - Yeah, that is a week. That's a hell of a week, but that's so fun. - But your Monday's gonna be like this. Ooh, you're gonna be like-- - I'm gonna look-- - Great. - You're gonna be fucked up. - Yeah, this is like such an unnatural amount of adrenaline and dopamine right now. It's gonna be a weird, calm down next week. - So when you guys bought the house in Minneapolis, you were like, we need a tornado. - You know, he's so sweet, he surprised me with it. - A lot of it. - It was a Christmas gift. - It was a fucking, there was a Christmas gift? Perfect. - He's the best. - Top of the line. - So it says, back to building the kid. He won the tornado format, men's single. What is ITSF? - International Table Soccer Federation. - Crazy, it's so funny that you just-- So you could tie her mom to this? - Again, these were quizzes given to me when I was three years old. - What about WCS? Is that World Championships? - World Championship Soccer maybe. - Because it said he won the men's single ITSF WCS in '05, '06, '09, and 2013. - This guy's got rings. - He's unbelievable. - Just do the Michael Jordan picture. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - You guys should look up Tony Sprederman. He's like the-- - Oh, I see it right now, and this is my question about him. - Oh, okay. - I was gonna bring him up. He often partners with Tony Sprederman. And Glenn Murray, is that mean anything? Glenn Murray in name for doubles. - Okay. - And so that's like an unbeatable Tony Sprederman. - Tony Sprederman is the, I think winnest male in Fuseball maybe? - Yeah. - He's, yeah, it's like playing-- - When several World Championships, he won the tornado world in '08, finished second, and early, dude, this guy, he's the global spokesperson for Fireball Table. - Yeah, I don't know if he still does this, but for a while, he was living in an RV and he would just travel to every single tournament in the country, take first everywhere, and that's his living. Like, people can make an actual living, yeah. Would that be, do you think that'd be something that you would do for retirement? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you guys are like, you guys, you and Chad are retired, you're like, hey, we're off the road or whatever, and then you're like, you wanna just travel around and watch me beat people at fucking Fuseball? - God, I think whatever I do in retirement is not going to involve travel. That's like, I'm sure you feel like touring, once you get to the places, it's great, but the act of flying your body around or God forbid driving it or running an RV for ever, like, do you wanna do a tour bus? - I don't think so. - I wouldn't even. - I can't sleep on those. - I can't either. - Then? - When we did the Burt tour. - That's when Bobby fell off the bunk. - You were on that bus. - Yes. - Holy shit, so for those of you that don't remember, we were on the Burt fully loaded tour in 2024, and Bobby Lee came on for a weekend. He got there the first night, killed it. - Yeah. - And then the next thing I know was I was on Burt's bus, and I just remember waking up in Leigh Ann being like, Bobby had an accident. He had to go to the hospital whenever I was like, what, he tried hopping out of his bed. He was on the bunk. - He was on the top, very, very top. They're really high up there. - Yeah, those tour buses get real fucking crazy, how high up they get, and he fell off the whole thing. - And like, smashed his nose. - Did you hear it? It was his lip. - His lip was all fucked up. - That's right, that's right. - I'm trying to, I think I did hear something but I didn't know what it was, and then, but like Chad had been, like, tending to him and helping and stuff, but it was, the tour bus thing is not, I don't think I could do it. Chad and I, I think it was the first night, we were like, well, maybe it'd be like romantic. If we shared one, let's try sharing one, and then I was like, sleeping in a fucking coffin. - That's what I was just saying. - Zero needs not enough for whom. - When you go to roll over in your shoulders like right there and you're like, hey, fucking move. There's no way two people could get in there. - It was truly like, fully had to like, spoon and not move the entire time. - That's so funny, like, oh my god. - I got, I got, I got so hot. - But there was, there was a moment, and like, and some people love it. Like, you talk to some people, they get on tour buses and they go, I sleep better, do you sleep well on them? You're on them all the time. Eat an edible and you sleep. - Okay, okay. - For me, it felt like, like, in a coffin, like I'd get in and everything. For me, what fucked me up was hearing the treads of the road. Cause it's like, are we driving up the road? And then I try to fall back asleep and I'm like, are we driving up the road? Yeah. - Are you hit a pothole or something? It's just like a very, - Yeah. - I don't know. I'm not like a sturdy gal. Like, I hit a pothole, I'm fucking flying. You know what I mean? It's like, - It's a pothole. - Well, it missed me on the tour. Every time we would stop, that's when I would fall asleep. So they'd be like, we got to the next city in my body, and they'd be like, wake up. We got to do activities. I'd be like, I didn't sleep all night. This is Chris, so I was like, sleep deprived. And I'd be like, - I had like a mini mental breakdown at one point on that where I was just like, crying a child. I was like, I'm so tired. I just like, I need to sleep in like a normal bed. You know what you're just like? You're going to a point where nothing's actually wrong, but you're like, I just, I'm not built for this. - Yeah. - You feel like a sick kid. - Yes. - I was just like, whiny. I was like, I can't. - Big J put me on the game early. When I did the one weekend in 2023, that was when he told me he goes, listen, they're gonna not tell you you need to do this. He goes, every city get a hotel room. - That's right. - 'Cause then you take a nap, you have a shower, and those naps were, those were a hitting. Every city. - You need 'em, because it's not like, you're not getting any sleep, but then you're just gonna like walk around and like get dinner at night. It's like, you're performing in front of 10,000 people. when you want to be clear-headed and it's just wild. - There were huge shows, and it was so much fun, but as you do and stuff all during the day. So it's not like you're just waking up and just lounging on the bus and tapping. You're like waking up and he's like, we're racing for go-karts, here's a camera. We're gonna put the camera on you and you're like, do you remember they woken me up and they were like, hey, you wanna come do morning radio, birds doing morning radio? And I went, no! And I rolled over and then peed again and went, hey, birds ain't come upstairs. And I was like, hey, it's like wind up, no, no, no. It's like come say hi to your family downstairs energy. And I was like, hi everybody, I'm super sleepy. But that tour was fun as hell. - It's really fun. - We did a lot of fun shit. So you wouldn't do a tour of us. Renault car and then hotel, that's what we did on the tour. - Maybe, like if it was a theater tour and then you could just like go between cities if it was just one night or-- - Yeah. - Yeah, I could do that. That was what I found worked the best. But even that was stressful. - What's like your maximum drive that you would do in a car? - For a day, six hours. - So too much. - You know, I think we did, there was a couple cities where we did like, oh, it was the weekend of Skankfest. That's why it was so tired. We did like, it was like Milwaukee to Matt. It was like five hours every day in the car. Shows every night. And then on Sunday, we had to wake up at like three in the morning to take a flight to Atlanta to go to New Orleans for Skankfest. And then we got to Skankfest and everyone's like, why are you guys so fucking tired? You haven't been here all weekend and you're like, I was in a different city every night for four nights. - Dad was working. - Yeah, I was fucking working. But I really did kick the shit out. I mean, it really like, you understand that seeker song, turn the page after a while. We were like, yeah, dude, fucking the road's hard. - It is, it's not a person over 30's game. You hit 30 and it's like, oh, a red eye will kill me. Things that you used to just be like, I'll just take a red eye and just a little get a home password. It was fine. No, you'll fuck you up for two weeks. - Can I tell you where my age is hitting me right now? I was the king of, if it's on the East Coast, I'll drive home Saturday night 'cause I will all want to wake up Sunday in bed. I was just in Baltimore and it was like, I can do this, I can fucking do this. And you're like, go, go, go, go, go. 'Cause it's just, it's better without traffic, it's better just to get there in the night. Now I'm too old where I'm like, I might have to start doing it in the mornings. I might have to. - How long is that drive? - For, it was three and a half at 11 p.m. - No. - I got over three a year, two shows. - No, man, no. - It was like hot and sweaty and I was like, I was grabbing my stuff at the hotel and just got in the car. It's that soupy East Coast summer thing and I was like, rock. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, just jammy, jammy air. - Yeah. (bell ringing) - It's almost fall, which means, ooh, fall clothes, jeans and hoodies and all of the spooky things. I can't wait, ooh, I can't wait for that first crisp day. Slap on a pair of perfect jeans and get outside. Here's the thing I love about perfect jeans 'cause they're rocked 'em in the summer. They have good breathability. 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That's like, Jumanji out there. - Jumanji out there is like-- - Jumanji out there is like, is it that bad? - You've never seen so many mosquitoes in your life. - Well, 'cause you're from Washington state. - Yep. - But Washington state, especially Eastern Washington. - Dry as hell. - Very similar to Colorado. - Oh, rare. - No humidity. - No humidity. - You didn't grow up with humidity. - No. - The first summer I lived in New York City, you wanna talk about that like being kid sick? That was my energy the whole summer of like, 'cause I couldn't afford an air conditioner. So it's the whole summer I was like-- - I was like, no, I'm free. - And I was working at the restaurant. And I was just like, I'm like, he missed. - Dude, I used to take-- - I used to take-- - I used to take-- - I slept on an air mattress in a window this room, and it was so hot. - Oh my God, what in the-- - It was so much worse, Kelsey. It was so hot that I would have to take, I would wake up at 3.30 in the morning, and I would turn my shower on cold, and I would just stand in a cold shower to the point that I was like, and then I would go lay down, and I would get like, 90 minutes of sleep, and then I'd wake up sweaty again, and I'd be like, he's still in a-- - I feel physically sick. - It was cool. - I just heard that send a chill down my spine. That was horrifying. - And people that, fans of the podcast have heard this story before, but this is just in context. My roommate, Vic, one of my, Jada Vic, he had a window unit in his room, but we didn't have AC in the rest of the apartment, and he accidentally left it on one time, and after a night of not sleeping, I heard it, and I was like, mad, and I was like, do you think he's fucking AC on? And I opened it, and the room was so cold that I just turned around and grabbed my down comforter, and I came back in and I laid on the foot of his bed, not like in his bed. I laid on the foot of his bed, fell asleep, down comforter wrapped around me. I slept so hard that he came home from work, and opened the door and he was like, what the fuck? And you know when you wake up and you overslept? - Yeah. - It was like the king hell version of that, where I woke up and I was like, man, I was like, what time is it? He's like, it's six o'clock. I was like, I came in here at 11 a.m., and he was like, well, you've been asleep for seven hours. And I just, it was crazy, but man, that AC, he had it on like 68. - Oh, crisp. - Oh. - The crisp 68. Is fall in Minnesota great? Because it, that's where, you have to hold off to that. - You need a good fall. It's an okay spring. The whole like running dad joke there is that there's three winters and then construction season. That's like summer is, 'cause the winters just absolutely demolished the roads, because the temperatures are so crazy. So it is like the summer is everything is construction, roads getting repaved and all that stuff. But fall is nice. Summer is nice. It's just, it's just when we're humid that I would have. - Yeah, the humidity, when you don't grow up in humidity and you have to deal with it, you're almost like this is one of the worst things I've ever felt and I hate the earth. You like become against the earth, you're like this is, and people, like now I've been in New York 20 years. So even this is very humid summer. I can handle it. - That's right, yeah, but I'm still like, there's part of me. It's like, what? Colorado doesn't have this humidity. San Francisco doesn't have that humidity. It's on the water. It doesn't, the humidity on the east coast and the great lakes that like thing right there on the south. - Well, that's the thing. I was like, we're so far north. Why does it feel like I'm in Texas right now, but you've, it's the land of 10,000 lakes. So it's just like in the summer, it just brings it all up in the air. - I remember being in Acme and the hotel's walking distance and it was so cold that I was like, this might be cruelty to make me walk back to the hotel when you're like coming in the door and you're like, you're on a moon base. - Yeah. - Have you adjusted to the cold? - I had to get a different car because I couldn't, right when I moved there, I got like a mid size SUV because I couldn't keep doing just like whatever city. - Spinning out, just being neat. - They tell you they're like, you need to get something that has good traction. The winters are so crazy. But I got like a very low-tracking, trim model on the car when I got there. And then this past winter is what everybody has told me. It's like, okay, this was your first true winter as I'm in a sotin' because-- - You don't wanna hear that? - No, no, no, yeah. - How many years have you been out there? - Three and a half. - Okay. - And I was freezing my ass off the first two and they were like, this is nothing. I'm like, what is wrong with you people? You sick, this is so cold. And then this winter was like one of the days, Chad and I flew home from different tour dates when he landed on a Sunday morning. It was minus 34 or something like that. - That's what that's like the fucking moon, dude. You're on the fucking moon. - That's what 66 degrees below freezing? - Oh. - Like it's-- - That's a nice day in the opposite way. If you caught a 66 degree day, you go, this is really nice. - That's a nice. - And this is 66 degrees below free. - It was some temperature like that and then I landed an hour or two later and it was minus 17. And you know, if you are parked at the airport, you're in one of those parking garages where it's just like open air. And so my car had just been sitting there in those temperatures for like three days, didn't have remote start, didn't have anything like that. And you can't just get in a car like that and start driving it, it has to warm up. - Yeah. - So I had to sit in a car in minus 17 for like 10 minutes before I could move it. And I was like, I mean, this is like people dies. - Yeah, I was literally thinking-- - It becomes dangerous. Like during the winter's there are signs all over the freeways like electronic billboards that say if you have to pull over, stay inside to stay alive. - Yeah, that's the surface of the moon. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like there really is like, are there people that die? And this is a foolish question, but I'm having enough evidence to ask this. - Sure, yeah. - Are there people that die in the parking garage of the Minneapolis airport? 'Cause that's gonna make that. Every time I do a lot of connections at that airport and I do not want to know that there are people that is a tomb, 'cause you see the parking garage when you fuck a transfer play. - Yes, it's right there. - A whole tomb. - I hope not, but it was the thing that made me go, I need to invest in a better car and have remote start and like he did seats, he did a swing wheel. It's not like bougie. - It's not even, this is like to not lose my fucking fingers. It's like this is crazy. - Chad being a native Minnesota and growing up in the brutal weather, he could probably tell you a winner of '97 or something where it's like way worse. They always have stories like that. - Polar vortex stories. He talks about, so he's from Fergus Falls, which is like way more up north, gets even colder. He talked about that, not that many years ago. If you touched the door handle on the inside of your house, it would burn your hand. - That's, why are we living there? Why are we living there? - That's like, first off, that's a home alone thing to stop robbers. (laughing) You can't live in a place where you're just like, - Harry! - Yeah, your house home alone's you, just 'cause it's so cold that you're like, "I'm gonna go get this paper." (laughing) And there's like an am on your fucking hand. You're like, "I wouldn't do that." But also, what's crazy about that is the way that people just like, the minutes, 'cause people from Minnesota are so fucking nice. But they have that like, you didn't know that? They're like, "Oh yeah, don't touch that." Are you free? - He's and you go, "That's not fucking normal." - I know. - That's not where normal people go through. I'm always blown away when people live in this extreme weather and then they act like you're a dickhead for going like, maybe don't live here. - Oh, yeah, yeah, they're like-- - Like in Arizona, when I moved to Arizona, they were like, my freshman year of college, I didn't have my car. My second year, I moved down there with my car and people go like, "Hey, crack your window." And I go, "Why?" There's a lot of car theft here. And they're like, "No, crack your window, "'cause if it goes over 110, it'll blow out." And they go, "What do you mean? "It gets so hot and air expands when it's hot." That the car will go, and it will blow out the fucking windows of the car. - I've never heard of that. That's insane. - People are living that. I think it's very rare. I'm sure there's desert dwellers right now that are like, "That's not how it is." But that was like how they were telling me when I went to the radio station. They're like, "Yeah, make sure you, I like, "we've leave and go crack my windows." 'Cause they'd be like, "Dupit, it's with, "all I remember is it being so hot." 'Cause I never came home for the summers. I worked in Tucson. - Oh, okay. - You would get like this time of year, August, before monsoon season, 'cause monsoon season cuts the heat. But like, July, when it's starting to get like, one, 12 every day, you would open, you wanna talk about burning your hand. - Yeah. - You would open the door, and if there was sunlight, you could see the heat wave move out of your car. Like, it was leaving your car. Like, it was like, "Alright, thanks." (laughing) - Then you get in, it's literally the inverse of what you're talking about with Minnesota. You get in, and you grab, and you go, "Ah, you burn your hands "if you touch the steering wheel." - Yeah, it's crazy. - You go, "Why do people live here?" 'Cause we're from states, where people just live comfortable lives. Colorado, sure the air is thin, don't be a pussy. Washington, it's, first off, where Spokane is, is like, fucking gorgeous. You're on that run of like, Washington, Oregon, and Idaho, Mountain. You're just in that section. - Forever goes through this, it's beautiful. There's a lot of meth. - A lot of homeless that look like they can survive. - It's, it is. - Your homes are aggressive with a point that it makes me go like, "You might be able to do something." - Yeah, I mean, it's so hard 'cause the downtown, you're like, "Oh, it's like beautifully going around." And it's like, "Yeah, you gotta keep your head "on fucking swivel over." - It's like, "Give me a recommendation for a sandwich place." - Domines. - Domines. - Yes. - Tom Ficar, if you see this clip, we're going there this weekend. - Legendary, Ben there forever. - It's unbelievable. I got, I went there, you know, when I know a comic from a city, I'll ask Rex, and you were like, "Get these sandwiches, Domines." The walk there though, I was like, "Yeah, and I'm even fucking Manhattan." And I'm like, "I'm gonna get the fuck away from it." And they're like, "Ah, it's fucking wild." - I was just talking with Ryan Sikler 'cause he was there for shows in the best. And he is from Baltimore. And he's like, "Look, I crossed to the other side of the street, and I'm from Baltimore." And I'm like, "I know, it's pretty bad." Which is unfortunate. - And I was just in Baltimore, and I will tell you, I have more trepid. I walked from, I was at the port, I just walked from my hotel, it was nice right in an area. I mean, the port's in a nice part of Baltimore, but when I was in Spokane, I was like, "Dude, what the fuck?" That's always crazy to me is when you see, like, San Francisco, don't go near Union Square. Don't go near Geary Street. You're going to watch men shit on the street. But when you're by the punchline, you're kind of like, let's not that dangerous. - Yeah, that's what's unfortunate is that, the area that the club is in, and that downtown stretch is probably the worst chunk there in terms of, I don't know, violence and all that. - Spokane, one of those cities where everyone works, and then they leave. It's what we were talking about with Jim with Hartford. Like Hartford, it's like one of those cities where everyone works during the day, and then at night, there's no one there. So that's why the homeless is like, this is Aw City. - Yeah, I mean, they go, yeah, they for sure, like go back to the suburbs and stuff like that. And people don't live right there. There are no, there aren't like many apartments right there. It's just businesses. So it's, it happens, but yeah, Spokane, when Chad and I were dating a long distance, it was like, okay, it doesn't make sense for us to both tour out of Spokane, 'cause at the time I was like, this is killing me. Like there are no flights. - There's no direct flights. - No direct flights. You're like way up in the corner of the country. I was either having to fly in a day early or like do a five, 30 a.m. flight. And then almost, I almost missed several shows where you're like literally sprinting on stage in your airplane clothes. It was, it was like bad for my health. And so it was like, okay, we should both be touring out of Minneapolis for sure. - The best airport in the middle of the country. - It's so great. - Well also you're coming from Los Angeles, moving back to Spokane. In LA, traveling has gotta be like New York where we go, we fly everywhere. There's not a really city, it's hard to find. - Exactly, yeah. - Which drives you nuts when you're like, no flights. There's just no direct flights. - Like what are we doing? - Yeah. - But it's like not a lot of people trying to fly out of Spokane, so there's just not this demand for it. But yeah, I mean, I've moved to Minnesota in January to live with Chad and everybody's like, oh, you love that man. I'm like, yeah. - That's how you know. That is like a thing where it's like. - If you have a dating profile, and it's like, would you move to Minnesota in January? That's like a song lyric. It's like, I move. That better be in your vows. - It is. - It is. - Yeah, that's what's up. That's what's up. Because Katie and I were just both in New York and it's like, hey, do you not want to pay an astronomical amount of money. You know, it was like, you know, it was like such fiscal sense in New York versus like, yours is like an old Viking lore where it's like, if you can conquer the elements, then you may have my love. But it is like, thank God Chad lived in Minneapolis and not like fucking another random ass town that you're like, oh, we both have to uproot in order here. Yeah. - I don't think I would have ever thought to go there otherwise, but it is really like the perfect touring hub. It's like, it's so central. You get everywhere so fast. It's just. - I mean, the direct flights have got to be crazy. You go direct everywhere. And, no, like genuinely getting jealous of this. - I know it's so funny. There's like also the time difference. Like people forget that if you're New York or LA, if you have to go all the way to the opposite end, that like fucks you up. Like you're on stage and it feels like 2 a.m. Your time is crazy. - So East to West, I would argue, I like East to West better because you get the payback. So like when I'm fine to Spokane, I'm leaving here at 7 a.m. I am, but I'm gonna land at Spokane at like 1 p.m. So then, Tom and I, I'm gonna go see Spider-Man. But we're just gonna have the whole day. What I hate is the thing that sucks is Sunday, my whole day is gone. Even though I'm leaving Spokane at 7 a.m., I go to Minneapolis, I transfer, I get back to LaGuardia at like 5 p.m. So you're like my whole day. - It's really the whole day. - The whole day. The only thing that's good is, I'm off the road the next two weeks. So you go, all right, one day of fucking bullshit and then I'm back and I can just, 'cause man, as we get older, the more you stay home, you go like, I love this. - Oh God, I love it. He's such a good influence on me for taking time off because like he has kids. He has a very well-rounded, well-balanced life. - Awesome. - And he just like enjoys that anyway. Where he's like, yeah, I always take the summers off. That's when like my kids would be out of school. I don't work in the summer. - And I want to marry him, move over bitch, he's mad. - I see you by the wedding and you're just like, I in my spot of the, you're in a dress. - I'm holding it, I'm holding in your eyes. I'm playing a boombox, I'm holding in your eyes. Chad, this is for you. This is very gay. - Like, yeah, you got your eyes. I love that you take the summers off. Like this I'd say, and all this stuff you'd say. I love the balance here. But it is, that is like such a mature cool last thing 'cause when you're younger in this business, you go like, I'm just gonna tour, I'm gonna go non-stop. It's cool that I'm tired, it's cool that I'm sick. And then like now, the reason I drive home from Baltimore was 'cause I wanted a whole day with my gals. I wanted a whole day with Katie and Myrtle, where I go, and this, and like. - It's everything. - And what I love about us being older is like, she appreciates that. So she'll go like, you didn't have to do that, but thank you for doing that. And I'm like, I love it. I love being home. - There's nothing like it. I mean, so this summer is the first summer I took off of touring, 'cause I've been watching Chad do it and I had been so just like, like a pit bull, just like my teeth were just sunk into this idea of like, no, like you have to just like grind through the summer and like, you can't give up tour dates and you got it. And I finally was like, okay, you know what? I'm gonna try this. And now I'm like, dangerously in love with not working. (laughing) - There you go, turns out not working. Awesome, even if you love your job, not working still. - It's actually so nice to like not be on a plane every week and so this was such a good break. - I'll break your brain with this thing because I, completely, I love the summer thing. But what I do is I will tour during the summer. So Katie and I do a cross country road trip every year where we start here, we drive Chicago, then we go Chicago to Denver. - That's awesome. - But it's two and a half weeks. It's like a long thing. So I take off, so I'm like, my last dates December 12th. - And then you, Dan, you're doing that drive in the winter? - We do it every winter. - Whoa, do you ever like run into? - Yeah. (laughing) - We get a whole animated episode of my podcast because we got, so when you get to Nebraska in Wyoming and, you know, my part of the country, the winds. It's not snow, it's wind. - Oh. - The winds blow trucks over like major fucking problem. - Okay. - Daft Christmas, we leave my mom's house. We're gonna drive, there's a, and I brought this upon Jim Norton's podcast, but it's true. We drive specifically from Denver to a place in Iowa that has a Benagans connected through a holiday in. 'Cause we love Benagans. - Wait, I don't know what Benagans is. - Oh, Kelsey, it is. It's like Apple Bees. It was before Apple Bees. I'm sure Spokane, you guys must have gotten a Benagans in the '90s. - I've never even heard of it. - It's like on its way out. - Okay. - Daft, they have great chicken fingers and they have, they have a Monte Cristo. That is, it's a deep fried ham sandwich. It's unbelievable. So we got super excited. We're driving through Nebraska and the GPS kept being like, get off the road. And then, and then we get off the road and go, if you wanna save five hours, get back on the road and we're like, what the fuck's going on? The state of Nebraska shut down the highway 'cause of the winds and we were like in this small town. Big springs, Nebraska, shout out. I still remember you, you're not that big. I've had bigger. - Little springs. - We got, we got snowed in a, and we had to stay in our car in a Motel 6 parking lot during the Blizzard. And we recorded a podcast and then we animated it. So we do get caught, but we've also been lucky. Not last year, but the year before, zero problems. Last year, a couple storms that we hit like driving, but we love it 'cause we just take our time. 'Cause it's just like us and the dogs with us, so we just go like, it's a rental car, so we're not worried about like beating it up or whatever, and that's like our summer's off. 'Cause it's like, I have so much fun doing that. I have so much fun being like, we don't owe anybody anything, we're not doing shows, we're not doing anything. It's just like, and we're gonna see our family and enjoy the holidays, but taking time off is like, if you can, and obviously it's such a luxury, if you're able to do that. - Of course. - But I love hearing that Chad did that with his kids, 'cause you go, that's how you make good humans. - For real, yeah. - Do you like, I mean, is it like crazy? You're like, I'm gonna be a stepmom. Like on Monday, you're gonna be the stepmom. Now you're like cool girlfriend. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? You're like, oh, it's my dad's girlfriend, but now it's gonna be like, hi Kelsey. (laughing) - Step by yourself. - You go, hello, but I mean, is that gonna be, is that like a weird thing you've thought about? That's never really been the dynamic, so I don't, I don't think when we get married, it's gonna feel any different. - Sure. - Because so Chad had kids young, and he and I have a 14 year age gap. So it's not like, it's not like his kids are like, way, they're like adults. - Yeah. - They're not like children. - That's actually. - With me as this mom figure, they have a great relationship with their mom, their great kids. So I'm just like a, like even bonus mom sounds weird. I'm like not a motherly figure to them, I don't think. I know this, I know this sounds, I don't need to be. - I know this, the sounds, you're just like a roommate. You're just like, you're like an old school day. You're like, that's my dad's roommate. And you go, oh, good for them. They're sleeping together? Yeah, of course. You know, you know, what is your father a dandy? And you go, that's his roommate. And they are, they're lovely, they're very happy. (laughing) - Yeah, you know, it's been, it's been an interesting journey of a relationship with me and his daughter because he and his daughter are very close. And it is like a weird thing when a new woman comes in your life and she's a comedian and she had like followed me on Instagram. And then I, I posted some joke. It was from my first special. I think it was like the vasectomy joke about like that Chad has vasectomy and like. - Oh boy, you don't want that. - You don't want that a poppin' up your feet. - And it's so funny. - Dad's come bein' fuckin' blank and you go, I don't want to watch this. I'm at the doctor right now. - So she like immediately like texted Chad after I was like just so you know, like I'm, I'm muting Kelsey or whatever. And I was like, as you should. Like if I watched my stepmom even like. - Dude, if Nick would have done jokes about fuckin' my mom. - Oh my God. - If my stepdad Nick would have been a comedian and he goes, let me tell you why, my wife's got good pushin' by the way. (laughing) And it goes on like, I was based all the day. But it was fine Nick, it was fine. Good bit about mom. - And that was nice, yeah. But I remember my friends early on were kind of like, like his daughter's gonna love you. Like she's gonna call, she's gonna think it's so cool that like your videos get a bunch of views. And I was like, oh you mean the one about me blowing her dad? Yeah, I don't think she's like psyched about. - She goes, oh cool, a million people locks this story about my dad gettin' a fuckin', gettin' a blowjob, cool dad. Really, oh hey, a million people and I agree, thumbs up. I got, you gotta hurt that. That's like, that's like child abuse. That's like social media child abuse. Where you go, check out this joke about how your dad just blew out my back and she's like. - Fun Thanksgiving, fun Thanksgiving, yeah. - You know what's funny is that is kind of a family dynamic with standup because I had a joke about Katie catching me watching porn on my phone through a Bluetooth. - Oh, right. - And we were embossing and she's like, well, my dad's gonna see this. She just sat at a table with her dad and like watched him watch the bit and she was like. - Oh my god. - This sucks. Yeah, I bet it does because you don't realize sometimes you're riding a joke and you go, you don't think who's gonna see it. You think the immediate person's gonna see it but you don't think about the ricochet. - Yeah, you just picture like faces in the crowd. People you don't know personally. - Do you have any jokes on this special that might get in trouble with your stepkids? - It's like all of the stuff. I told her, I was like, you can watch the whole special except there's like maybe a five minute chunk and it's not even like that graphic but I'm just like, it involves sex and I don't think you would want to hear it. And she's like, great, just tell me those timestamps and I will fast forward through that part. - That's fantastic. - So you guys have a great relationship. - Yeah, it's gotten so much better. At first it was a little like how are we gonna have, I also had never known somebody who has kids and like that was an adjustment period for me too where you're like, oh, in the summers, it's not just the two of us anymore. Suddenly it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so fun. How long does it take you to find a rhythm with that? Like the first, by the end of the first summer where you're like, we got this. - By the end of the second summer. - This summer has been the best summer so far. - But that's, you know what I like? That's an honest answer. 'Cause the first summer you go, I kind of learned how to do this. Second summer you go, you fucking kids rock. Third time where you're like, what the fuck is high, yeah? Welcome back home, motherfuckers, and they're like, "Tool 3! No jokes about pulling them in." (laughter) A time marker, but that is such a cool way to come into a family and build your own thing, you know? - Thanks, yeah. - Yeah. And also, both you guys fucking rule. So it's just like, I love having you guys when you guys were on the park, 'cause you guys were touring together. - Yes, we had shows here, and that was so fun. - I'm so jealous of that, 'cause I love when she comes on the road with me. We did the tires premiere, and Shane did a show on Saturday that I opened up, you know, I was one of the comics on it, and she just came with the whole weekend, and I was like, "Yo, the road rules when you're here." - It's the exact opposite of when you're by yourself, 'cause suddenly it's like, a paid couples vacation. You're like, "Oh my God, my favorite person's here." And we're like, "In a hotel, and we're like gonna go eat." - Yes, yeah. - It suddenly becomes like so fun. - Every day, we'd wake up, go get coffee, and then we would tech-stop roast, and be like, "Where are we gonna go get lunch?" And then we would have these cool lunches, and then be like, "All right, that was a fun hang." And then I was back on the road by myself, just in a hotel, and I was like, "How am I gonna go get a Starbucks?" - Where's my parents' name? - Yeah, it really is. You're isolated, and you're like, "That's why I've been telling Tom all the things "we're gonna do this weekend." I was like, "Oh, there's sandwich place." And I was like, "Oh," and then he was like, "Can we go see Odyssey?" I go, "We can't," 'cause Katie and I are gonna see you tonight, Max. And he's like, "All right, what about Spider-Man?" I was like, "You're on." (laughing) - You're like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." - 'Cause that's, I think the second best thing is bringing a friend along. - I was just gonna say that. That makes such a difference to your mental health, and just like the experience of Torina General. If you have a friend with you on the road, it's either like, again, if you have a friend, it can feel like, "Okay, great, we're gonna go do "these fun things." If you don't, you're like, "I'm gonna fucking do this." I mean, this is brutal. You're by yourself the whole day. If you don't have work, if you don't have something to do, you just go like, "Great, let me just walk "by this business park that's next to the hotel." - It's brutal. - Also what sucks is, now Sagalow's like headlining, so I lost my little brother on the road. - Tommy Brennan opened for me for three years. - Oh no. - I was like, "SML, yeah, yeah." It's like the greatest thing, 'cause that's what you want. It's like you want them to succeed, and you can have it, yes. But then when they do, you're like, "Oh." I go like, "I'm going back to Portland." And I go, that's what I was saying a little bit. Now you had, now you headlined this club. Again, have you come back as a feature? It wouldn't even definitely make sense. - But what was crazy is, I remember when Shane was on the road with me, when he started headlining, he would call me and he'd be like, "I don't like headlining. "I want to come back and feature for you." And I was like, "No, you have to headline." That's what's happening. And then he got so big that now I get the feature for him. So now when we're at shows, I go, "Thanks for letting me feature again." He goes, "I'm jealous of you." And I was like, "Featuring so sweet." - 15 to 20 minutes, it's just your best shit. And then hang out, watch a show. - It's honestly the fucking best, so nice. - It is fucking great. What's the special name? - It's called Happy Hour. - Happy Hour's on Netflix right now. - Please go watch it. - Go watch it, get her in the top end. This is how we're going to make money off Netflix. You have to put us in the top end. But go watch Happy Hour. Go check out Her and Chad's podcast. Go watch everything they do. They're the best. Congratulations on the marriage. - Thank you. - I'll be there. - Curtis in a push. - I'm like, "Damn, congratulations." - But yeah, you're the best. Thanks for coming by doing this. - Thank you, thank you for having me. - Yeah. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)