Summer Lovin' | Reading Reddit Stories

That's the sound of Lowe's Labor Day Savings. Get up to 45% off select major appliances and save up to an additional $100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of Miracle-Gro 0.75 cubic foot garden soil for just $10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Andy and Anna here from your new favorite podcast, No Such Thing As A Fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Ant eaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious. Wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When a Ronald Reagan. When a Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing As A Fish. Thanks to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. What's up? Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is summer. Which is why we're outside. Mm-hmm. We're actually outside right now. I know the camera maybe makes it look a little different, but we are outside. We're in our backyard. The backyard of the Smosh headquarters in Oxnard. You know what they say. The camera adds ten lights. Yeah. We've got our citrus orchard here. Yeah. So these are real oranges and lemons. So yeah, it's pretty sick. Who are you right now? Look, when you put two beers on me. That's who I am. Not in you, on you. On me. In you? I got two beers on me. But I'm joined by. I've got two beers and I'm joined by two peers. Trevor and Courtney. What's up? It's summer. How do you feel about that? I love summer. I love summertime. You really do. I feel like you both have summer vibes. You were both born in the summer. Yeah. Born in the summer. Born in summer. July 23rd. June 19th. I was born September 14th. That's not summer. That's like late, late summer. Like first day of school vibes. When does fall technically start? Isn't it like. It's always confused me. Summer still just happened on the 20th? Because I feel like September doesn't feel like it's summer, but it's also not fully fall yet. You're in the transition period. Just a dumb, stupid time. Yeah. Stupid time to be born. Whoa. So I really am at the end of summer. Yeah, you're in like summergatory. Summergatory. Summergatory. Pretty cool. What's your favorite thing to do in summer? Swim and lay in the sun. Lay. What were you going to say? I'm sorry. What were you going to say, Trevor? I was going to say jack off. Only in the summer. I'm sorry. He only allows himself one season a year. I'm sorry, man. The summer of jorking it. Probably hang out with the sun. With the sun? Hang out with the sun. Yeah. Well, summer kind of sucks because it's really hot outside when I play basketball. So I actually hate the summer. Whoa. Whoa. Controversial. I love summer. I mean, it was my birthday, you know? It's like birthday parties growing up as a kid. Always fun. Had like one birthday. I got like one of those like inflatable water slides. Oh. In the backyard. Whoa. So we had like a barbecue and then I was just going down the light base. Wow. Which was really cool, dude. Probably couldn't do that in September. No. So. No, we definitely did not do that much in Arizona. It's kind of hide. What's happening? It just, it feels, it feels like it's dripping on me. Oh, you dripped, yeah. Shit. You just dripped. My beer. I don't want to lose any beer. Is it, is it, where's it spilling? I don't know. It's dripping like out the can. Oh, shit. I think maybe like you're leaving. I'm leaning back and it might be like. You're being too chill, dude. Yeah. Too much of a chill vibe. I'm going to unburden myself of the beer. Unburden yourself. Whoa. Now I can turn my head really fast. I remember when, when Ian had to wear one of those during his funeral roast. We did it on that drunk live show, the, under the influence. They're not as easy as I thought it was going to be. No, it's heavy. Yeah, it's intense. That's like two pounds. I do need a strap. You need a strap. You need to be strapped in. Maybe like a whole chin strap. Imagine that with two tall boys. And as soon as you start drinking it, it just keeps going. It just keeps flowing. Yeah. So Ian said he had to just keep getting drunker. You have to chug. You have to chug. Yeah. Sorry. You must. That's the rules. You must. Anyways, let's hop into some summer stories, shall we? Chug. Oh, chug. Chug, chug with you. Okay. Sorry. First summer story comes from Am I the Asshole? This was posted last summer, 2025. I know what you did last summer. Whoa. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Am I the Asshole? For abandoning my parents at an island in the Caribbean so I could get back to our cruise in time. Oh. Marooning your parents. That's awesome. That's a new one. All right. I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift, my parents got me a cruise. It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at an all-inclusive resort, but I have always wanted to go on a cruise. I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions, we had to follow the schedule no matter what. Well, it was a week-long cruise and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off. They missed the departure. By a lot. Like 45 minutes. They got a hold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them. What? I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,000 people. 1,998 people because two could not understand what the schedule was. They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind. I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing. I wish I had never asked for this. They are making me miserable because I left without them. Come on. It's an unforced error. Truly. What are you going to do? I feel like that's the thing that everybody talks about with cruises. You know it's like you have to show up on time. It will leave without you. Have you been on a cruise? I've not been on a cruise. I do want to go. It sounds like a nightmare. It really does sound scary. I do think everyone should consider trying it once. But we had a very special experience of getting to go on like a press cruise where there was less people on it. But we did go on a cruise and they were so serious about coming back on time. This isn't a great experience. This is a Greyhound bus. So you can't just ask this city on the water to wait for you. Like that is crazy. The level of entitlement when you see a cruise ship in person and you're like, holy shit, this thing is massive. It is a skyscraper taking a nap. It is big. It is definitely a horror to witness, right? Like there is something eldritch about it. But it's like there's all the passengers. There's also all the crew. There is literally an entire city on there. Yeah. The entitlement to be like, this thing is going to wait for me. Yeah. Like, nah, man. No, it's not. And it truly, go, go, go. Oh, no. I was just going to say, I definitely do like want to go on a cruise at some point in my life, at least once. But yeah, I don't understand how you can just miss it. Like I would be so scared. That'd be like my nightmare of being trapped somewhere and like, yeah, having to get a flight. Like, yeah, that's your ride, man. Yeah. And not every cruise has other like, options to port. Like sometimes it's one stop and then they're headed back. So it's like, oh, you're just going to have to fly home. Like, yeah, I think OP did everything they could. They were so passionate about wanting this cruise, made sure to tell their parents, like, this is how it works. And then being like, okay, I'm going to go. And then waving OP off, like, and then experiencing the consequences of their actions and blaming their kid is crazy. Being like, why didn't you have the cruise ship wait up for us for 45 minutes? The only way, and it still wouldn't happen, but as if it was like circumstances where they got stuck somewhere. It's like, oh no, we got lost or we got injured or something. For something so low stakes, it's like you're shopping. You're shopping, man. Like there's not going to be able to shop at the next place. Yeah, like, oh, oh, too bad. Like congrats, your 18 year old is more responsible than you. Exactly. And if the roles were reversed, like these parents are fully grown adults who have each other. Yes, they were left in a place that was unfamiliar to them. But like, this kid did the right thing. And like getting to the safe place, being on time, the adults can figure it out. Like, come on. They wanted him to pull a Captain Phillips on it. It's like, you need to become the captain. Like, take it over. Oh my gosh. The verdict is not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole. They seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes? Yeah, no. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep. They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time, which is something you have figured out in less than six years. months of being an adult, at least you don't have to go on any more vacations with them after this. Someone said, what precisely do they think you could have done? Kidnapped the captain? Staged your own drowning? You didn't abandon them. They abandoned you. Don't let them weasel word this around to being your fault in any way, shape, or form. I'm really sorry your parents have ruined this for you. It's pretty pathetic of them to blame you for their extremely easy to avoid deliberate bad decision. They owe you at least two apologies. One for ignoring your sage advice in the first place. The second for behaving like spoiled four-year-olds. Not the asshole, and I really hope you make your parents read this thread. Ooh. Oh, yeah. Have them watch this episode. Your parents are fucking stupid. Fuck you. Fuck you. Hope you're enjoying your second cruise. Give him $5 right now. If the ship doesn't depart on time, the company faces massive fines and will be delayed to the next port. Oh, yeah. And it's a massive knock on effect. It's all explained when you board and every time you disembark. Yeah. Because we went on the one thing, and I do remember them like. It is a tight schedule. Also, yeah, like thinking about the cruise ship doesn't own the port. That is like a city-owned, they have like, you can be at this port for this amount of time. It's like airports. There's a whole, there's a schedule, there's lines, and people need to use those ports. And 45 minutes is not like, oh, five minutes for waiting for one last passenger to get on a plane. 45 minutes is impossible. Yeah. And it's not like they can call it out over the loudspeaker, like, hey, head to gate 13. Like, you're just in a country. Yeah. Like, you're just somewhere in a country. I wonder what they were buying. Like, I wonder what was so important that they. Also, I don't like hearing that they're bargaining. I'm like, yeah, you guys are probably so intolerable. They're like, hey, give me the color, but I'll give you $4, not five for the colored bracelet. Yeah, yeah. Someone said, not the asshole. Cruise ships have a schedule to keep, and there was no way they would wait for just two passengers without knowing where they were. They might wait if there's a whole bunch of passengers being delayed on an excursion that was organized by the cruise ship company, but that's iffy. Someone said, I've seen them wait under five minutes when they saw a family clearly running to our ship. Everyone cheered for them as they got on, but it was obvious they were running to our ship. The ship was all packed up with just the gang way down, and the crew were yelling and cheering at them too. Otherwise, if the ship says it departs at five o'clock, it is pulling away at 5.01 or 5.02. What if only one of the family members didn't make it? They're like, we don't know. They're like, sorry. They have to just take them down. The dad throws the kid. Take my son! Alligators show up. It's like, yeah, the alligators show up right at 5.02. We can't stop it. They know. That's why we said to be here at five, because the alligators show up. We're like, we're in Hawaii. It's like, I don't make the rules. They flew them in. They dropped the alligators in at that time. I hope OP enjoyed the little time they had without their parents. Oh, that's probably awesome. All the ice cream. He's on the phone, like, pina colada in hand, like, God, yeah, I told you, guys. I'm sorry. Anyways, moving on. This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by DoorDash. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. I recently had a close friend move across the country, and I was absolutely gutted. Of course, I was so excited for them. They had a huge career opportunity, but I was so scared we were going to lose touch. We've all had that friend who just kind of vanishes from our lives because of distance, and I really, really didn't want that to happen to us. So we brainstormed an idea to stay connected. Once a month, we have dinner together apart. We pick a different cuisine each month, order similar food through DoorDash, and hang by playing video games or watching a movie. Now I'm confident we'll stay as close as ever. It has been so much fun, and they don't feel far away anymore. This month is Italian, and I'm going to be eating Italian food. I'm going to be eating Italian food. I'm going to be having an Italian night. I'm planning on ordering rigatoni with red sauce and meatballs from my favorite Italian restaurant in LA. Maybe I'll splurge and add a tiramisu. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. Back to the show. Next story comes from Am I the Asshole? Posted September 22nd of 2019, the last day of summer. Wow. Last day of summer. Last day of summer. 2019. What a year. That's like the last good summer. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of true. Yes. How about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious. Wonderful. Ronald really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. Am I the Asshole for wearing the joke bikini my friend got me? Oh, no. I know the bikini. I already know. I don't know. Probably not. Can I say it now? What do you think it is? It's the hairy chest and hairy happy trail bikini. That's awesome. Do you know where it's like a man hairy? Yeah. It's a bikini. Dude. Okay. Sorry. Very funny. Very funny. Okay, bye. So it was my birthday a couple months ago. Had a party, got some gifts. My friend Mandy got me a super cute bikini. I liked it, said thanks. She had ripped the tags off, but whatever. Anyway, went to the community pool with my roommate, wore the bikini, got in the water. Roommate immediately, immediately is like, girl, I look and see that this bikini is now kind of see-through. Haha, good joke, Mandy. Anyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her boyfriend and a few others. Most leave and we're still hanging out. I'm like, hey, what if we go get in your hot tub? I go change after them and meet her boyfriend in the hot tub while she's getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he's looking at my chest. And I don't notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few minutes after and just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. Uh, is that the one I bought? Yeah, I love it. I wear it everywhere. Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. And she's just like, oh, we're in the tub for 20 to 30 minutes. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like, um, I'm sorry. I thought you'd notice, but it goes kind of see-through. I'm like, yeah, I know. Why? You buy me a fucking see-through bathing suit. She's like, it's a joke. Wait, you knew? So you just spent the last 30 minutes flashing my boyfriend on purpose? I reply, I'm just wearing my birthday gift from her. Anyway, am I the asshole? Oh my God. That's really funny. And like, you know, kind of like petty, I guess, but like not the asshole. Like, I think that's hilarious. This bikini girl's got balls. Yeah. That was like to be comfortable enough to like, I could never do that just because I like don't, but some people are super chill. You know, we got Florence Pugh on the red carpet, nips showing like, but wow. I also don't understand that. Sorry, I'm popping off. I don't understand why the, this is like some funny joke to give a bikini, but like, it's not like when she opened the bikini there, like she had to find out the hard way and be really embarrassed when maybe Mandy wasn't around. Yeah. At a community pool, I'm kind of, she could have gotten in trouble. Yeah. I feel like you could have gotten in a lot of trouble. Cause if you're in a community pool, you could have gotten in a lot of trouble. Yeah. If you're in a community pool with kids around, you could get a ticket probably. Yeah. No, thank God. Like OP was like super chill. I'm like comfortable with her body. Cause that could be so traumatizing for someone. Someone gave me a bathing suit and it just showed my PP. When I got in the water, I'd like never go outside again. I'd be like, you almost put me on a list. And then to like, for her to it, for her friend to admit like, oh yeah, when you wear that bikini, you're flashing everyone around you. It's like, so yeah, you put me in a really compromising position. And even in the jacuzzi seeing it and being like, is that the one I got you? And then like letting the interaction continue on, not interrupting going, Hey, just so you know, it's really see-through and like stopping. Like, yeah. Because what if there's an odd chance where OP wasn't aware, wore this for the first time to this jacuzzi and didn't realize she was flashing? Like, yeah, it's just, there's so many elements there of just like so many things could have gone worse. Yeah. Um, comments, not the asshole play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Plus it's not your fault. Blatantly staring at your tits right in front of her, uh, edit because it still isn't clear to literally anyone. I'm saying Mandy has nobody to blame, but herself for what happened. 20,000 upvotes. OP said, yeah, that's what I told her. She didn't like that either. Uh, someone replied to that. She got herself a transparent boyfriend too. Someone said, to be honest, no tags on the bikini makes me think she bought it for herself, wore it, realized it was see-through and tried to get rid of it by passing it off as a bad gag gift. She more than earned her shitty prize. Say that to someone. Um, someone said everyone sucks here and you know it. Obviously she's the asshole for letting you wear a see-through bikini in public, but you're an adult deal with it like an adult knowingly exposing your body to people that did not actively consent to seeing it is not the adult way to handle things. That is valid. I think that's pretty valid. Yeah. But knowingly exposing someone else's body without them. It's one of those situations where Mandy is the bigger asshole. Yeah. Like it's still like, cause we've read stories before of like, I'm just never a fan when it's like, Oh, like I'm going to show like, I'm going to expose myself to And I'm like, I'm always. No, and truly, if we got the first half of that Reddit story, we're like, I found out this bikini my friend gave me is see-through. What do I do? There will be a very liked comment that says, you should wear it in front of that person's boyfriend. Yeah. Like, because it's like one-upping each other. It's like, you did me dirty. I'm going to make you, you know. Yeah, like. Tip or tat. It's one of those things that if a friend said they were going to do that, I'd be like, maybe don't. Yeah, no, that's true. That's funny. It's also one of those where I'm like, is this a person you don't want to be friends with anymore? Because you're going to do that, and you're probably never going to talk again. Yeah, no, it is like, was it worth it? That's a pretty good metric, Shane. If someone asked me if they should do something, and would I say yes or no, that's. Yeah, because I would say no. If they were like, should I wear this bikini in front of their boyfriend? I would be like, yeah, that would kind of be really funny, but probably not. It's another one of those where, like, I think as we're reading a story, like, when you're reading a hypothetical, and it's why, like, on Reddit. And on the internet, we go like, yeah, fuck yeah. But I'm like, if you're there in person, it's so much more. It's different. You feel the discomfort, and you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah, it's real. Yeah. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. She knew what kind of gift she was giving you, and you were just getting her back in a harmless way. No one's going to die from seeing boobs. Now you can all have a laugh about it. Yeah. I guess that is like a, how comfortable are you with the friend and boyfriend? Like, how well do you know him? Or maybe Opie thought it would be received, like, more of a joke. Totally. For sure. Like, that's. That's a good get back. That's valid. Like, which causes more damage? Doing this thing and actually kind of going a little far? Or texting that friend and being like, hey. Yeah. Found out that the swimsuit is see-through. It's really, like, I hope you understand that's really uncool and inappropriate. And, like, the gravity of that, I don't think you realize when you're gifting me this joke bikini. Like, telling, just texting the friend, like, hey. Yeah. What are you, like, that's not cool. No, Mandy's the ultimate piece of shit. Because she really is. Because she gave her this gift and not, like, and then she wore it at a community pool. Like, that sucks so much. I would have been livid. That's not a good friend. Like, Opie's just clearly a very chill type of person in that regard. But, anyways. Moving on to our next story. This comes from Entitled People, and this was posted in the summer of 2024. Okay. Okay. Our pool, while we are not home for years. Oh, man. I feel like I've heard things like this before. Oh, my God, bro. Like, people finding out that people are just using their pool. Okay. A few years ago, my husband and I purchased a house with a pool. Now, we are acquainted with most of our neighbors, but are definitely not close friends with any of them. They all seem nice, but, well, we just don't have much in common other than where we live. Next door to the right is a family of six, twin daughters attending the local university. High school-aged son and a young elementary school-aged daughter, maybe first or second grade, and the parents. Now, normally, we open the pool in early May and leave it open until the end of October. But this year, our weather was off, and we had a very cool and very wet month of May. And then June went straight to 100-degree temperatures. I am currently on a medication that makes it difficult for me to tolerate being in the sun and heat for an extended time. Plus, we have been helping two extended family members who are having health issues. So, because of this, we haven't had our pool opened yet this year. I think that, yeah. So, by opening, like, maybe a pool cover, just, yeah. Normally, we go to the family lake house for a week during each of the three major holidays, but we didn't go for Memorial Day because there was flooding around the lake this year. And because a family member was just discharged from the hospital yesterday, and July 4th being a Thursday this year, we decided to stay home this week and be available to help this family member. Now, several times in June, the little girl next door has seen either my husband or myself outside, and she has asked when we are opening, We first told her maybe later, but the last time, yesterday, she asked, and I said we are probably just not going to open it this year, and she started crying. Now, we have never had any of the neighbors over to use our pool, so I didn't understand why she was crying over us not opening our pool. Well, I spoke with the neighbor on the left later, and apparently our neighbors on the right have been having a small family party at our pool every 4th of July when we are gone. They have always cleaned up really well afterwards, and because we have scheduled pool maintenance and weekly use, we have done yard service occasionally. Things are moved around in our yard, and we never thought much about it. The neighbor on the left thought we had given the other neighbors permission to use our pool. We did give them permission to retrieve any balls or toys that ended up in our yard, but never permission to use our pool, especially when we are not at home. We have a special latch on the gate, and my husband did show the neighbor how to open the gate to retrieve kids' toys. So now my husband, who loves gadgets, is going to have several more cameras installed around the exterior of our house, covering the gate and pool area, and have the gate latch made where we can grant remote access for the pool service and yard men. Luckily, we have a friend who does cameras and home automation systems. I'm annoyed our neighbors have been using our pool without permission, but my husband is happy I am letting him get more gadgets around the house. Now, do we confront the neighbors and let them know we know they have been using our pool, or just wait and see if they say anything about our new security cameras? See, I think at this stage, I would want to confront them before they do. I don't want them to use it again. I don't want them to enter my house. We don't need to wait for a situation. Yeah, it's like, "Hey, if I know you're doing this, I'm going to confront you." And then if I say, "Hey, you can't do that," and then they do it, you have extra. It's so crazy, too, because I feel like it's already crossing a boundary if it was just the family. If it was just the parents taking their kid over to be like, "Hey, you want to swim in the pool for a bit?" And just them hanging out. Throwing an entire 4th of July party in someone else's yard is like that. Is really crazy. It's pretty bold and it's pretty stupid. Like, I would not set foot in anyone's property in America, or anywhere, obviously out of respect. But in America, it's so dangerous to step foot because you don't know people. Dude, I had, when I was a kid, we had a basketball hoop in our backyard and my ball would go over the fence sometimes. And our neighbors had these two dogs and they were like loud barkers. I'm sure they were very nice, but they would bark. And normally if a ball went over, I'd go knock on their door and they would go get it for me. And they were very nice about that. And I never really tried to, went in their backyard without permission. But then one time a ball went over and they weren't home. And I was knocking on the door and their dogs were running to the door and barking. And then I looked in the backyard and I was like, "Okay, their dogs are inside. "They're not home. "I'll just run back there really quick and get it." 'Cause they had given me permission before. They were like, "Oh, our dogs are inside. "You can just run around and get it." And I was like, "Okay, it's fine. "Their dogs are inside. "I'm sure it'll be okay." And I went and their back door was open or something or like they, so I like-- - Dogby door maybe or? - Yeah, so I grabbed the ball and I hear this barking and I'm moving back towards the fence and it's coming at me. And I swear, I was sprinting for the gate. And I was like, I didn't even wanna work the latch, so I threw the ball over and jumped up on the fence and had to hop the fence 'cause I was so terrified of this dog chasing after me. - Oh my God. - Bro, you were the Sandlot. - Yeah, no, it was so scary. I was terrified. - Oh my God. - I've talked to, I did the same thing when I was a kid. I had a boomerang and it went into my neighbor's yard and they had a big German Shepherd. And I just straight up hopped into their fence and the German Shepherd was, I was like, "Hey, what's up, dude?" And he was chill and I was like-- - Oh my God. - He was outside all day, every day, so I was like, "He has no loyalty to them." - Yeah. - That's crazy. - We're chill, we're cool. - We have, so obviously every house has a house on each side. - Typically. One side, we had this old couple that if a ball went over, we would just hop over, it was always so scary, hop over our little brick wall, 'cause the brick wall had like broken bits off, so there was like a lower point where we could hop over and then hop back really quick. But then the other house at the time had a hoarder and their backyard was like weeds this high and they had a dog that they were not taking great care of that we were like, "That's a coyote. "We're pretty sure that's a coyote." And I remember it being like the most scary excursion me and my siblings would like try and go get that ball because, but we couldn't hop over. It was just, it was so much going on, but it was like thrilling as a child. - Yeah. All that to say, I can't imagine just throwing a party in a neighbor's yard without their permission. - Yeah, sorry, to get back, I was like, "What are we talking about?" - Oh yeah, this is Reddit stories, right? - No, this is infuriating. - Yeah. - Comments. "Lawyer here, though not yours. "You need to put up no trespassing, "signs, tell your neighbors they are not allowed "on your property without explicit permission "and change the lock on the gate. "Now that you know, you are on notice "and could be held liable if they are injured "visiting your pool." - Right. - "Sucks, but it will be much less trouble "than a lawsuit, 5,000 upvotes." That's crazy. - Yeah, no. - That's nuts. - They're lucky that nothing bad has happened 'cause like my family had a pool and they had a gate and like we'd have family gatherings and the gate was broken. So all these little kids who couldn't swim would be able to get through this gate and like, yeah, like bad things happen. Like it's really unsafe. - Could you imagine as a kid falling into a pool? - Like truly. - Andy and Anna here from your new favorite podcast, "No Such Thing as a Fish." - Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. - Yes, how about this one? Wow Mysterious, wonderful The world really wants them to exist What about this one When Ronald Reagan left office He left a note on the White House lawn For the squirrels Warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs So there you go If you like fascinating facts and much more besides We are no such thing as a fish At least it was my own pool At least I didn't trespass as an 18 month old These people are entitled enough That if they did get injured at their pool They would sue Like you can tell Someone said Question Why in America must one place No trespassing signs To stop people accessing private property uninvited In Australia Private property is private And unauthorized access is a crime No additional steps required Lots of people were saying To call the cops in the comments I also think it's different state by state Yeah Depending on the state In America I feel like the rules are probably completely different Yeah I mean I know trespassing sign feels Like you shouldn't have to do that You shouldn't have to But if the lawyer is saying Take those steps Do those steps to be clear But it's like it should be a no brainer I guess it's maybe in court That they could say well no you did give us permission You told us once And it's like how do you prove that wrong Someone said I'm so petty I'd open the pool hide the cars So they'd think I was gone Then lurk hidden near the pool Ready to step and ask What the hell they think they're doing When they stroll in for their party Yes and then wear your see-through bikini Imagine you just emerged from the pool And scuba gear just I'd have still team six there With harpoon guns Someone said okay I'm so petty I'd open the pool Hide the cars so they'd think I was gone Then lurk hidden near the pool Ready to step and ask What the hell they think they're doing When they stroll in for their party I'd embarrass them in front of their guests so hard But you have to live next door to these people So probably best not to do that Right Yeah right Update Okay For free Three days later I don't know how to link the original post Or if it is even possible I didn't expect this to blow up like it has Certainly didn't expect over a thousand comments I have tried to read them all And some were very creative and amusing to read First of all We don't want to hurt anyone Or alienate our neighbors We just don't want people using our pool Without permission And we don't want the liability Associated with this activity A few things I feel I need to clarify Yes our backyard is fully fenced in with two gates One in back is double locked from the inside The side gate on the side of the garage Nearest the neighbors in question Has a double latch That you have to reach over the top And find not one but two releases to open the gate There is also an auto close That automatically closes the gate and latches it I personally can't open the gate From the outside of the fence Because I can't reach over that far To reach the two latches The previous owner put this in for me And it has worked well for our yard crew And the pool maintenance people We do have some cameras A doorbell camera And a camera over our garage area The garage cameras picks up If someone goes towards the gate from the front But we didn't want to invade our neighbors' privacy By recording their side garage door And gate to their backyard We even shared the camera angle with them Because we didn't want them to be concerned about us Recording their children Or their coming and going I guess we were more concerned about their privacy Than they were about ours Yeah you like helped them You helped their pool heist Yeah it's crazy They're like great So the camera base is there Which means Hug the line We can get right back And here's where we keep our safe With all of our gold bars Anyway the update Thursday July 4th morning I was loading a few things in my vehicle To take my cousin Who just got out of the hospital Neighbor slash husband Who has been gone a lot for work recently Saw me and came over And asked if I was getting a late start Going to the lake I let him know that we were staying home Because we were helping my cousin Who just got out of the hospital He asked if we were going to be home All weekend I said yes One or both of us Would be around all weekend He quickly wished me a happy 4th And went home Happy 4th Happy 4th I have to return some videotapes I went back in to grab my purse And tell my husband About the conversation With the neighbor before I left When I got home Our friend Mike was there Mike does security cameras And home automation systems Gadgets And my husband loves gadgets We've picked up on that Yes Yes Yes Mike and my husband Have a plan for multiple cameras And several gadgets Some of which involve us Going ahead And having the pool opened I agreed to all But one of the new cameras And almost all of the gadgets I think husband put some in plan Knowing he would have to Give up a few of them Mike also suggested Talking to our homeowner's Insurance agent Because we might be able To get some discounts With the security upgrades So I'm afraid They have like turrets And shit It's like phasmophobia They've got like The motion detectors They're like dots There's just green dots All over the wall So on Friday the 5th Tom our insurance guy Comes over And Mike is back And he has a drone To help him find The best camera position Really I think he just Wanted to show off his gadget So husband Gadget buddies I love it I love it You guys all have Your gadgets out So husband Mike and Tom Are outside And all around the house And occasionally inside I look outside Every so often And at different times Other neighbors Have come outside And down to our end Of the street So neighbors want to know What is going on So husband tells them We are concerned That someone or several people May have used our pool Without our permission While we were not home It turns out that Two different neighbors Had witnessed some friends Of the neighbor children Come over last year And they and the neighbor twins Had gone into our backyard One neighbor even Asked the girls And they claimed That we let them come over All the time And use our pool Whoa So at this point Husband and Tom Discussed this And Tom says We should send A registered letter To the neighbor Rescinding our permission From entering Our fenced-in backyard So before Mike and Tom Left the neighbors On the right Pool party neighbors Come home Both husband and wife My husband asked To talk to them And with Mike and Tom As witnesses He tells them That for insurance reasons We are rescinding Our permission for them Or any member Of their family or guests To enter our fenced-in backyard And we will be sending A registered letter Stating this As requested by our insurance My husband never accused them Or their children Of using our pool But said we had reason To believe that in the past Our pool had been used Without our permission He did say that We had reason to believe That their older children Might be friends with someone Who has been in our pool Husband also told them That we are changing the gate To have an automated lock And cameras will be installed Around the pool area He also assured them That we avoid the cameras Pointed at their windows Or backyard Husband indicated That we are taking These measures To hopefully lower Our homeowners insurance rates Husband said that They exchanged a few looks Between them But they said they understood And appreciated the heads up So hopefully This saga is over But if there are Any other updates I will try and post them I think that's really That was really well done They went the sophisticated way Sophisticated Non-confrontational And like you know Talking about the health The home insurance rates Going down Like that is all so valid And like you know Maybe in future years OP They can Have a 4th of July party And invite the neighbors You know Absolutely My favorite part Is all this getting uncovered Because just like A little kid was like Are you going to open Your pool? Because they just like Don't know You know the parents Yeah The parents probably Went up to her and like You fucking blew our The fuck They just like The kid doesn't know That they're not using it Without permission So it's like Are you going to open Your pool? Like we got to have Our party It's once again I'm always pissed At this type of Like shady shit So I'm like If you went and asked They might have said no But like Then they get to say yes And you don't have to Worry about it I hate Like especially When I was younger Like I don't do this As an adult But when I was young I was younger When you're like You know when you're like You sneak into a place You're not supposed to be Or you're doing something It's like Oh we're kind of like Going around the rules here You know And I'm like I don't have fun then Yeah Because then I'm like What if we get caught? Like I don't like that I can't relax Yeah the anxiety Like if I was having That 4th of July party And I'm like Yeah so the neighbors Don't know we're here I'd be like What if they come home? Yeah That could happen And I'm going to be Thinking about that All night Yeah Just doesn't sound fun But anyways Good on them And all their gadgets Yeah All them gadgets I knew a drone Was going to show up Yeah I knew a drone Was going to show up He went about it so smart By not accusing them too Because if you know If these people Are entitled enough To use your pool Without asking permission They're going to lie To your face It's very likely It's safe to assume So Yeah But yeah Husband did amazing I'm like You're such a great communicator And you were honest with them Protecting yourself And you gave them The opportunity To volunteer Or admit Their wrongdoings And they didn't Yeah Which is interesting And notable You know But well done But he does have Guns with drones Yeah Drones with guns Patrolling the house And guns with drones And guns that also Have drones Yeah Little did they know They could just hire me Whoa Whoa Whoa Hey Hey Hey Relax Whoa Whoa Relax Relax Stay out of our pool Don't do it Don't Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em I'm unarmed I'm unarmed Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em I hit the I hit the real citrus tree I almost knocked one of our real oranges off Oh no, don't ruin the oranges You literally cannot get past this defense I just bite a piece off Hey! Anybody want a beer? Yes! Yeah. For people listening, Courtney just beat the fuck out of me. Yeah. No, I didn't. Courtney threatened us with a garden hose, and then we had a pool noodle fight. Yeah. And I know what you're thinking. It's like, it's not anything weird. Like, there's actual. The whole set is summer-themed right now. There's beach balls and pool noodles everywhere. I probably should ask this now. Marcus, we did get permission to film here, right? Uh-oh. Don't answer. A drone! I don't want to know. Yeah, we're actually in someone's backyard. A drone shows up. I'm like, ah! We're in this guy's backyard. He comes back like, what are you doing? Pretty funny. This next story comes from Relationships. Posted. Oh, yeah. Posted August of 2016. I looked at. I ate, and I for some reason went, October. Dude. Well, that's valid. Octagon. Octagon. Octopus. August 2016. I was a different person then. I know. I don't know. You were like 10. Yeah, 10 years old, man. This is. Dude. Obama. Obama. It was still Obama. It was still Obama. Just barely. Just barely still Obama. Just barely Obama. All right. The summer of Obama. Dude, we're going to have ourselves an Obama summer. Forget about hot girl summer. It's Obama summer. All right. This comes from Relationships. They write, My boyfriend, who's 24, despises when I, 22-year-old woman, go surfing, but it's a big part of my life. What do I do? What? Her boyfriend, Jonah Hill? I was going to say. What the heck? I won't give out too many details, but I'm an avid surfer, and I've been in a few championships throughout my life. Yet, nothing too major. Mostly small. Only small tournaments held in my country. I began surfing when I was just 12 years old, when my father bought me my first board, and we've been surfing together ever since. Though in the last few years, he's decided to stop due to a back injury. I surf mostly with my cousins now, and sometimes with a group of friends I met through surfing. Basically, I don't know what my life would be like if I didn't surf. I'm in no way addicted to it, and I can undoubtedly go weeks without it, but I do start to miss it after some time. I enjoy being able to go at least once every month, but I won't complain nor become unbearable to be around. If I don't. I've met some great people down at the beaches, and it's a great culture if it's what you're interested in. And I've recently become a kite surfer instructor down at the beach. So four days a week, I work from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. while I'm in between jobs. Let's get to the issues now. I've been with Mark for seven months, so it's a fairly new relationship. And up until last week, I've been really happy, and there haven't been many problems. Last week, he admitted to me he has a huge problem with me going surfing, and he asked me to, stop. What? He's told me the major issue is his mother drowned when he was just a little boy, and he says he's freaking out, thinking he'll lose me to the ocean as well. I told him I understand his concerns, but these are risks I'm willing to take, and so he should trust in me and allow me to carry on doing what I love doing. I'm not stupid. I don't go anywhere near the sea when it's not in a good state. I know about undercurrents. I know when not to swim, but he doesn't trust that I do. I understand his worries, but I feel like he isn't trusting me. Another major issue is he doesn't like my group of friends who come with me, and he says they make him feel small and emasculated, just because they can surf and he cannot. I've told him that it's ridiculous, and I've never even thought of them as attractive or appealing to me as more than just a friend, but he still tells me he feels jealous and insecure when they're around. He never comes to the beach with us anymore, so I don't think he's even seen them in a while. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to feel jealous or worried about me, but I also can't stop doing what I love to do. It's a fun sport, and I know I'm good at it. It feels strange to give it up because my boyfriend doesn't like it. I've thought about it, and I'm not sure if he just feels insecure because he's slightly overweight and doesn't enjoy working out, but that would be so silly. I don't know how to approach this. He's been telling me he doesn't like it for several reasons, so now I'm not sure which one to believe. I want to ask him about this. Yesterday was the first time I've gone surfing in two weeks, and he refuses to speak to me when I called him once I got home. He didn't return my calls nor messages, and this morning he explained it was because he was disappointed in me for going surfing again. I'm getting sick of this attitude, and I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance, and I'm sorry for quite a long post. Wow. It's, you know what, after reading so many stories, you know it's a bad sign when they spend three paragraphs explaining something so normal. Explain why they're not crazy. They're like, so I like surfing for, and here's all the reasons I like surfing. I'm like, you don't have to give me reasons, man. You're allowed to say, I like surfing. Yeah. Yeah. When they were like, I was ready for them to be like, yeah, I like to go at least, like, three or four times a week, but they're like, I'm happy going once a month. I was like, what? Wow. Also, like, I don't know, you're also allowed to do whatever. Like, if you surf all day, every day, it's like, that's your life, man. And when someone's dating you, that's who you are, and if they're not into that, they're allowed to be like, I'm not into that. Yeah. Walk away. It's like dating a firefighter and then being like, hey, I really don't like that you're a firefighter. Like, you chose to date this person knowing who they are, and now you're trying to, I mean, I don't want to jump to conclusions. It feels very controlling. Oh, yeah. And, like, first of all, surfers, do you surf? No. There's, you have to be a very strong swimmer. Like, getting past the break and just getting out there is hell. You have to be a really strong swimmer just to get out there and do that. Like, so trying to put your trauma of something, I mean, like, it's valid, but you can't put that on somebody who's, like, you don't know their experience and that's a completely separate life and person from you. And, like, and then being like, well, also, I'm insecure because of other surfers and I can't surf is like, okay, what are we doing here? Yeah. No, I think it's funny that he started with the trauma, one of, like, his mom had passed away, which is horrible. It's still like, hey, man, like, that sounds awful. I understand that you have this fear. You have to work that out. You can't put boundaries on her life. Yeah, such is life. Um, and then he follows it up with he feels jealous of the people that she's surfing with and that is interesting. Yeah. Um, neither of them are reason enough. I think it's valid to talk about those things to be like, hey, I feel, I feel emasculated. I feel jealous. Like, you can talk about that. You can't be like, because I feel this way, you have to change your life. Exactly, yeah. I think it's really healthy to, like, be honest about that and be like, hey, like, I do find myself getting a little bit jealous of, like, and maybe could use some extra reassurance or whatever, but trying to control, what someone's doing and then, like, not speaking to them after they go surfing is, like, so toxic. Yeah. It's okay to have, like, you know, people have that of, like, oh, I, some people I know would be like, I could never date someone who rides a motorcycle. Because it's just like, that's scary. Like, I would be scared. I know it's, it's, and Third Love makes bras that actually fit, so they know this. If your bra feels uncomfortable, the problem isn't your body, it's your bra. Third Love designs for comfort first. Soft fabrics, support that doesn't dig, pinch, or slip. Bras that feel good, and look good under everything you wear. Shop Third Love and explore over 60 sizes, including AA through H, and half cup sizes you won't find anywhere else. Get $15 off your first purchase at ThirdLove.com with code PODCAST15. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. What about this one? So there you go. But you can't then date someone who rides a motorcycle every day and then be like, oh, by the way, now that we're dating, you have to stop. Right. It's like, no, that's who they are. Like, if that's a thing that you can't do, you can't date that person. Surfing has been such a big part of her life. It is like a part of who she is. Yeah. You're trying to literally remove a huge part of who she is. Like, surfing, it's an incredible sport. But it's also, it can be like a spiritual thing for people. And like, it was something that her dad got her into, like, and if she's, she said she has competed? I think so. And then she's an instructor. Yeah. Kitesurfing. Like, okay, then pay my wages. Yeah. That's her life. You can't do that to a person. No, especially, like, it's clearly something that, you know, she's super passionate about. I'm trying to, like, if Raven, if my partner, like, asked me to stop playing basketball, that would be, like, devastating. I'd be really sad. I'd be like, no, I really love this thing. I don't want to stop. Yeah. If I was like, hey, stop being silly. Oh. Say, sorry, that's a boundary for me. Yeah. Start hitting you with a pool noodle again. Comments. Well, looks like he's giving you quite the ultimatum. Are you willing to give up your favorite hobby and a group of friends for a seven-month-long relationship with a guy who's insecure? 2,000 upvotes. OP said, no, definitely not. I won't give up surfing. I just want him to become more understanding and less whatever he's being. But I'm not sure you can just force someone to change. Someone said, unfortunately, you can't make someone change. It's okay if that's a deal-breaker for him. It's also okay that you don't want to give up something that's a huge part of your life. The only problem I see here is the fact that he's known you're a surfer for this long and is now only saying something. That seems a little red flag to me. I mean, if you guys had been going out for a month and this popped up, that makes sense, but it's been a good bit of time and now he's all like, my mom drowned and it's just now traumatizing. Right. Someone said, surf on out of that relationship. Someone replied saying, OP uses surf, it's super effective. Pokemon reference, that's awesome. You fucking nerds. You fucking nerds. That's really fucking awesome. Pokemon! Pokemon, dude! Hey, hey, stop it! Stop it! I turned into Chance. Oh, I like it! Ooh, sexy way! Sexy way! Surfing way! Oh, man. If Chance was here, he would have done that. Yeah. Okay. Well, you did it, bro. Well, you did it. Yeah, but I did it, but I was channeling. Oh, but you did it as a bit. You did it as a bit. But actually, I was joking. But I was joking. I was joking, dude. I was joking. Actually, guys, I was just joking. Someone said, get a new boyfriend. You are not compatible. Even if he does not surf, he needs to accept that you do. If he has anxieties over his childhood, those are his to deal with and master, not yours. If he feels emasculated, then it's his problem to solve. Get rid of him. He will not make you happy. Update. Whoa! Yeah! Summertime! Update, yeah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Update, my husband hit me. Oh, hey, she got you there. Yeah, sorry, checkmate. Oh, but it was a bit. Oh, it was a bit. I'm just joking. Update from OP in the comments. I must say, guys, I am so overwhelmed at how helpful you've all been. I've read all your comments on this post. I'm so grateful for all the advice and kind words. As for an update, I haven't spoken to him much at all in the past few days. as I've been too busy surfing. In all seriousness, I do want to have a chat with him about how I will most definitely not be giving surfing up. And if that isn't okay with him, I wish him the best of luck in finding a new girl who's just as much of a couch potato as he is. I've got a life to live. Nothing wrong with being a couch potato. Also, pretty sick. Also pretty sick. Channel surfing? Couch surfing! Channel surfing! Pretty cool. I'll be bringing you a new post as an update within the week after I finally do return his calls. I might be acting immature or silly, but the last conversation we had was an awful one. He admitted to me he'd lied about his mother's death and how it happened and told me the real reason was he was jealous of me and my friends and how I'm much more attractive than him. That was never an issue nor something that would ever have bothered me, but the lying and the trying to make me feel bad because my male friends are fit, that's not okay. I'll speak to you all soon. Thanks so much again. Yeah, that's an immediate. I don't know if his mom is alive or if he's lied about how she died. He's like, no, she actually died dirt biking. So don't ever ride a dirt bike. She actually died on the couch. So it scares me every time I'm on a couch. Damn. All right. Huge loser behavior. Super toxic. Yeah. Keep riding them waves, girlfriend. Hope you catch a tube. Hang ten. Paddle. Pitted. Get so pitted. I was like, whoop-ah. Greatest video of all time. So awesome. All right. Our next story. Am I the asshole? Summer of 2023. Again. Am I the asshole for not letting this random kid use my pool noodle? Oh. No, no, no. No. Ha! Ha! Ha! Okay. Okay. I'm at my parents. I'm at my apartment's pool laying in one of those chairs, and I brought my pool noodle with me that's actually pretty heavy duty. I got it from Sam's Club. It's made out of fucking metal. The pool has their own noodles, but they've all been chewed up and ripped up. Chewed up? But there are still. There are still a couple in semi-okay condition. I know what he means. Yeah. Yeah. When they're like, there's chunks taken out of them. Yeah. Delicious. Anyway, this little kid comes over and is like, excuse me, can I use this? And I said very gently, no, sorry, it's mine. Then he runs away and tells his brother, and the next thing I know, he's coming over to me saying, if you're not using it, why can't you let him use it? To which I replied, after a moment of being stunned that he even came over to me in the first place. Bro, this is literally my noodle. I paid for it. I'm not giving it to some random kid I don't know, just to get it back with bite marks on it. Then he literally calls me a bitch and walks away. I don't think I'm the asshole, but. Edit. Thanks for all the responses, everyone. I feel like I should add, one, I didn't say the second response in a nasty tone. It started out with like a nervous laugh on bro, I paid for it. And then the last part, it morphed into a sort of incredulous inflection, which I guess could be bitchy depending on how you take it. I don't know. Two, my noodle is vastly different to the ones at the pool. They have the skinny foam ones with the hole in the center. Mine is a solid foam and very thick. There's really no reason to think that the complex owns it. Yeah. That's really funny. No, he's not. It's his own property. He's allowed to have it. I wish I knew how old the brother was. It's not like he was being a dick to it. Because I picture a brother being like, it was the adult supervision to this kid at the pool, maybe. So they're both adults, because like even what he said, wasn't inherently rude. He was, he established a boundary with the child. The child left. And then he, I mean, I, yeah, he really And then now walks up an older child. Yeah. I'm picturing 12 to 14. If he called him a bitch, he's, that's a 12 to 14. Or that's an adult who has a 12-year-old mind. The interaction of like, hey, why don't you let me use your pool noodle? Dude, I bought it. It's mine. Bitch. That's just so funny. It's extremely funny. Like, that's hilarious. Oh, okay. Well, you're a bitch. Like, oh, fuck. Comments. Agree not the asshole, but it could have been handled more maturely. Speak to people as if you're giving them the benefit of the doubt, i.e. as if you have higher expectations for their good intentions than you actually do. And be calm and rational. This will not always result in someone being less rude to you, but sometimes it does. And if it doesn't, then it still does a better job of highlighting their overreaction. I think the problem is, like, we don't know how he said it. From what he's described, I guess the bite marks in it is like. Accusing his kid of being a biter. Yeah, your brother's gonna bite, your brother's gonna eat this noodle. It's like, whoa. Hey, man, what? I love a good low stakes, am I the asshole? I'm surprised it wasn't the parents coming over to tell you that they're teaching their son about sharing. And it would be great if you could share. The entitlement is real. Someone replied, a parent pulled that on me when their child wanted my child's toy. I smiled and said, that's great. What does your child want to share? Got a stunned look, but we want your child to share. Said, I will teach my child to share, but you want your child to be able to take my child's stuff. No thanks. They just stood there while I ignored them and then wandered off. Their child wanted the new bike my child rode to the park. I walked. No, not sharing new bike with people I've never seen in the neighborhood. 100%, that kid was going to bite the shit out of that. Oh, yeah. He's like, I really want to bite that noodle. Oh, that's tough, man. He's like, I don't want that noodle coming back with bite marks. And the kid's just like, side-eyeing, like, uh-oh. Oh, man. I just like, I'm totally believe that it's totally okay to go up and ask someone, like, hey, could I use that thing? Like, depending on what it is, obviously. Like, ask, like, hey, do you mind if I use that? But if someone says no, and it's their property, just like, end of conversation. That's the end of it. Like, all right. Thanks. No worries. Like, I just can't imagine, like, going up to someone and being like, I want to use that thing you own and them being like, no, sorry, and being like, what do you mean? Like, why can't? Give me that. Give me your noodle. Me at an Italian restaurant, walking up to someone else's table. Give me your noodle. Give me that noodle, man. All right. This comes from True Off My Chest, Summer of 2023. Technically, it was posted in spring, so. Yikes. Not really a summer story. Okay. Marcus and Emily. Oh, my God. Emily just called and said it involves a bitch. What the fuck? Whoa. Emily, whoa. Whoa, Emily. It's summertime. Guys. Come on. All right. My best friend of 11 years kissed me while we went for a walk on the beach, and now my life is complete. Whoa. I, an 18-year-old boy, and my friend, a 19-year-old girl, went for a walk on the beach together. This happened today, and I'm still smiling with so much joy and happiness. I never thought this day would come. Around 6 o'clock, I asked her to go out for a walk on the beach, and she replied yes. So she came to pick me up, and we drove to the beach that also had an ice cream place across the street. We got to the beach in about five minutes, which is a very short drive. We saw that there were only three other people on the beach. We took our shoes off and got our feet wet a bit, and we took pictures of the sunset. They were very breathtaking, and it hits different because of those videos I watch on TikTok and YouTube Shorts. after that. Wait, what? This hits different because of the phone version. Wait, no, that's so funny. Wait, what year is this? Did it? 2023. 2023, okay, 18, 19. Yeah, in 2023, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That's really funny. After about 15 minutes of walking, we stopped. She then told me how she felt. And boy, do I tell you, when she told me her feelings, I was about to cry. Not cry sadness, but joy. I don't think anyone that I knew ever would actually say to me, I love you so much. You are my whole heart, my strength, my purpose. She then told me to get closer. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on the lips. Woohoo! I yelled at the top of my lungs in joy as if just a couple. Wait, what? While they were still kissing. Eee! Oh my God. After 11 years, on this day, me and my friend are now a couple. She giggled a bit, which was very cute, and I did too. We then ended up making out for another 10 seconds before we got some pictures of it. 10 seconds? This is so fucking funny. This is so fucking funny, dude. We even got a pic of her kissing me under the sunset. Whoa! Which hit different because of all the Instagram, all the pictures of people at TikToks kissing by the sunset. Of course, of course. This is a moment I will never forget. This has got to be the best moment of my life, and I'm extremely thankful and happy this girl came into my life since 2011. Every story can have a happy ending and inspire some people to do what's best for them. Whether it's confessing your feelings or even asking someone out, just go for it. At the end of the day, you got it off your chest. Thanks for reading this again, and I hope everyone that reads this finds love and happiness in their life. Aw! So sweet. That's so sweet. Come on, man. They're 18, 19. That's so cute. Wow. You're loving it. Oh my God, love is real. You don't love a speech. I love when someone writes so just like openly, and they're just like, yeah, it hits different because of the videos I watch on TikTok and YouTube Shorts. I'm just like, they're including all this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause we would've been like, because remember that one movie? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, no. Remember that vine? That vine. That vine. This hits different than that vine. You can tell this person is just on cloud nine as a sheer joy. Yeah. I hope you all know that happiness is coming your way. Yeah. The fact that they screamed after getting a kiss is like so adorable. I know. I'm trying to picture genuinely what that looked like. Obviously, it wasn't while they were kissing, but just going, ah! Yeah. I like, obviously, it was probably like more of a woo-hoo. Yeah. But I'm still laughing at the like, like, ah! No, it's the kiss, and then it was, ah! Yay! Yay! Sexy way. Shouting to the sea, like in "Tamodachi," like, ah! Dipping my head in the water so bubbles fly out. He walks off into the ocean, the end of "Breakfast Club" just fits in the air. Some guy walks up and is like, can I use your pool noodle? Fuck you! Bitch! Bitch! Comments, someone said, finally some positive energy. Good for you, bro. Someone said, I remember this moment from my girlfriend and I. We have been best friends since seventh grade and came out to each other at the same time. We're about to hit one year of officially dating. Lastly, someone said, congratulations. Enjoy every moment. Life is short. Hey, man, don't bring down the vibe. Hey, I'm really happy for you. You're gonna die soon. Enjoy every moment. Because someday you will die. That's so cute for you. We're all dying. Yeah. Okay, it did involve a beach. That was very summery. Summertime kiss. Okay, you got us. Okay. Summer love. Oh my god, Emily just called us a bitch! Oh my god! That was crazy. Spreading lies. They all have pool noodles back there, ready to go. Yeah, so, anyways, summer's ending. Yeah, summer's ending and we're all gonna die one day. Yeah. We're all dying. Sucks. Sucks. That's how it goes. Well, the sun is setting on the summer of our lives. Before we go, you should check out Smosh.com for some sick summer merch that we have. We have a cool tote bag and a nice koozie for drinks. Maybe a beer. I've become a tote guy. You are a tote guy. Yeah, I'm kind of a tote bag guy these days. And it's a pretty cool tote. I love totes, but you know what I struggle with? They do not stay on my plate. They do not stay on my shoulder. Oof. I don't know why. It's 'cause your shoulders are so huge and mounded. Wow. And it's like, I just can't. They don't. Like, I have to, like, truly hold them. Yeah. But I love a tote bag. And, anyways, but thank you for watching. Thank you both for being here. And let's get 'em. Let's get 'em. No, no, no. Guys! We'll see you next Saturday! Stop! Ow! Ow! Hey! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just realized I was holding it like this. Anyways, we'll see you guys next time. See you next time. Bye! Ow! Thanks again to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. Wow. What about this one? So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing as a Fish.