Success, Fear, and Letting Your Body Catch Up

Welcome to Dreamfuelers. I'm Natasha Jane Julian and I've been through it all. Anxiety, panic attacks, you name it. I'm here to show you that healing is possible. I'll share my journey and chat with other guests who transformed their lives. If you're ready to reclaim your power and chase your dreams, you're in the right place. Let's dive in. On today's episode of the Dreamfuelers podcast, we're going to be talking about when your dream starts becoming real and why that can feel scary. Because we think success cures fear, but that is just not true. The story that we're so old as soon as I get there, if I could just cross the finish line, if I could just launch, if I could just heal, if I could just get married. But as soon as those things happen and your body starts to read, just we need to remind ourselves through the healing and the growth that becoming is not a one step process. Have you ever noticed that when the thing that you want the very most becomes really close that you feel a little uncomfortable, you feel a little uneasy. Why? Because of the story that we've been told our whole lives. As soon as you launch the business, as soon as you meet the right person, as soon as you have a baby, as soon as, as soon as, as soon as, then you can relax. And I actually fell into the biggest fear hole my entire life. It's that a word fear hole. But thinking, as soon as I release an album, okay, I did that, okay. Then I got closer to it and then I did it and then it still was uneasy. It still didn't feel good. As soon as I have a world tour, as soon as I launch this podcast, as soon as I launch the business, but everything kept getting closer or there. And then the fear was still there. A fear does not go away. It kind of just changes costumes if you want to say. So before success, you are afraid that you will never make it. Then when things start to get a little closer or happening, then you're afraid that you're going to lose it. And then after success, you're probably going to be afraid that you're not going to be enough to be able to stain it. But I think that is the key there. Not enough. So that not enough can either stay with you from before you make it to during to after. So that's why your internal reality doesn't always match your external reality. So why? Because success doesn't automatically rewrite the beliefs that you've been caring for years. So in my example, I always wanted to write an album. And I worked really hard. And I put together this beautiful story, this beautiful project, this beautiful compilation of songs that I was really proud of. And I just thought, you know, after I do this, then it will feel like I'm there. Well, that came in wins. And there was still this feeling of not enough. Okay, that's good. Maybe the next album or maybe it will take like a world tour. Then I wanted to launch a business, you know, put in my heart and soul into it. And I wanted to launch this podcast. And I was really scared. And I'm proud of myself for moving forward on it and making it happen. And then it happens. And I was making excuses like, well, it's not the best podcast in the world. And I don't have 5 million subscribers yet. But I'm doing it. And I'm here. So all of these things that keep almost happening and then happening. And you're still not feeling enough. And you're still feeling a sense of fear or is it a sense of pressure? Like, okay, I'm here now. I'm supposed to be more. And you start asking your scalp questions like, can I pull this off? Well, I grow this to its potential. Is everyone going to believe me? Is this going to be authentic? What if it doesn't work with my healing journey and everything? For years, my body was begging for safety to move forward on a lot of stuff. And it didn't have that. But through the work that I've been doing, I have been able to slowly heal and create safety in my body. And it's been begging for this my entire life. Yet still when I started to reach my goals, my body still wanted to revert back to the old me, which was, oh no, I'm scared. I can't do it. Instead of allowing itself to be in this new space that I had after this healing that I've had and to let the old fear dissipate because now I was in a new body. I was in a new safety zone. So some of that fear was just coming up from my past life saying, oh no, we still, this is where we feel comfortable. We feel comfortable, very fearful. But at the same time, it doesn't happen overnight. So taking chances requires growth. And sometimes growth is slow. Sometimes it is fast. But that means still you step forward and still move in the direction that you want to go even though the healing might be in process. And it takes some time for your body to catch up. Healing didn't all of a sudden make me feel fearless. But it did make me aware. And with the awareness, I was able to not let it just drive the car. The one really, really important thing that I've learned through meditation, breath work, other healing modalities and minds that work that I'm in doing is that the body likes to feel comfortable in what it has known all of its life. And even if that is very uncomfortable, states like stress, living like a survivor. And it takes time for it to catch up. It's not there yet all the way. Even if you've done the work and even if you've created a sense of safety in your body, which was, you know, not an easy process. But it takes time for your body to catch up to your mind and for it to match its reality. So it's really important that we start to recognize when the piece starts to come around and the calm and at a time when we should feel at ease and excitement. Sometimes we start to get anxious because our body is automatically going into overdrive and how we used to operate. It's happened just recently. I've had conversations with people trying to secure some funding and credit cards to make this dream of my happen. And I had so many moments that my body and my mind wanted to river back to the old me. And I had to remind myself relax. This is the time that you should be excited. And I started to get stressed over finances and money because that's what kind of has always been programmed in my mind. So the best thing is to just notice it. Notice that it's there, but it's not always the truth. Take our bodies react because it's familiar, but it's not always the truth. I can kind of see it as like, okay, so you've been sitting in a dark room for 20 years. I think there's been some kidnapping cases like that. And you see the light of day for like two seconds, but your body's like shocked and it wants to push it back. It's just not used to that kind of light, but it doesn't mean it can't get used to it because I can feel overwhelming at first, but it's not because sunlight is dangerous. It's just new and your growth can feel like that too. So what has helped me? Number one thing that has helped me has been meditation. Why? Because meditation took me out of fight or flight. And it gave me a sense of awareness. And if you aren't aware, then you're not going to be able to notice when you start going into the fear stage. So that was number one, number one, number one. It also brought me stillness. And it also brought me a sense of peace. Now that doesn't mean that automatically when you start meditating that you're going to start living in the rest of your life in peace too. It takes a while for you to continue this lifestyle to where you feel the sense of amazing vibration and calm and peace when you're not meditating and it kind of like slips into your life and starts to every time carry a little bit more with you and to your regular everyday life. The other thing that has really been interesting for me has been breath work. So I heard about breath work from a lot of different people and I've always been really curious to try it. And I did and I had a couple of sessions with this amazing lady named Sonja and I was really shocked afterwards that my body was doing the things that it was doing. Like it was doing some weird movements and some yelling and moaning and what I learned from those sessions was how much the body keeps inside without you even knowing it. So I thought I was okay. I thought I was fine. But like they always say that saying says the body keeps score, it really does. It stays in your body in different areas and in different ways. Sometimes that you don't even know and it takes something great to be able to release it. So that was pretty unbelievable. I followed up that just recently with my first Kundalini activation session with Don Huang and that was also incredible. Again, more of the body releasing energy in ways that are hard to describe. And this is again, realigning getting rid of old toxic negative heaviness from your body and clearing that out. And it's been about a month since that and my body is still realigning. And I say that in a way where during my meditations I keep having some twitching and movements and body jerking involuntary and that is just telling me that my body is still almost having some aftershocks. And it's realigning to its new nervous system which is really cool because I know that the work is still being done even a month after my session. Also learning to feel safe in your body. So even after you've done some stuff, sometimes you actually have to do the mind work. Sometimes you have to get a journal and write down everything that you may think of. Memories that you have. Memories that make you feel uneasy and just get it all out of your mind onto paper and start rewriting the story physically. So now you're having stuff come out of your body. Your thoughts are coming out of your body and all this together is creating a new wiring system. It's creating a new being that can handle the next step in your journey and where you want to go. And that is really cool because it can help you emotionally. It can help you creatively and it can help you financially. And all these pieces of the puzzle are really important and slowing down. This one definitely is underrated but whenever I start to hurry and rush which I have a long history of that, I start to get extra slow. When you're doing something really fast and you drop it and all of a sudden you're like, I did actually like three steps back when I was trying to hurry. So that one is really important because when you find yourself in that mode, then just slow it down. You get things done really precise and really slow but you're probably faster than if you drop two times. And this also extends into not just doing things fast but slowing down in life could mean taking a day off to do nothing. Even if you think you should work out, taking a day off to sit down to read, to watch TV when you're normally on the go. And sometimes that's really all we need is we need a chance to sit down and we can also notice and reflect and give our bodies a chance to catch up. Letting your body catch up is actually one of my favorite new ideas because when you get to the point of healing where your growth is coming along and things are happening but maybe your mind actually believes the dream and is like really excited about it but your body still hasn't caught up yet. So it takes time. It's like you're almost saying, hey come along. My mind's already there. Come along with it and it's kind of skeptical at first and it doesn't know. It's like it doesn't really trust it at first. And then once you get going, you're kind of like inviting it along for the ride and when you start to do that more, your body starts to trust your mind and then it works cohesively. So where in your life are you waiting to become completely fearless? Because what if that day never comes? What if you're just waiting and waiting and waiting to feel this feeling that you're never going to feel? What if courage means that you're moving while you're healing? You're moving while you take the next step. You're moving while your growth is happening. Then ask yourself, what dreams have you stepped into that your nervous system is just waiting to catch up to? What if you're already capable? What if you're already enough? What if you're already in the dream you're just trying to get caught up? Maybe you're already living inside the dream you asked for a couple of years ago. Maybe you just haven't realized it yet. So I wonder, maybe growth isn't actually becoming someone else or maybe it is. Maybe it's just being that part of you that's always been there, but you're just trying to rewire your nervous system to feel safe enough to fully be that part of you. Maybe it's allowing every part of you to realize that you're safe enough to be who you're meant to be. So the next time that feeling comes up, that feeling of fear, keep growing, keep healing, keep doing the things that you're supposed to be doing. But then when the time comes and you still feel that feeling, it might be because you just have to catch up still and that doesn't happen overnight. So I just want to thank you guys for spending time with me here today and wherever you are in your journey. I just want to encourage you to keep finding those things that make you feel alive, keep fueling your dreams, keep healing, keep growing, but really shoot for the endless possibilities that there are. Bye. Thanks for tuning into Dreamfuelers. We hope today's episode inspired you on your healing journey. Remember, transformation is possible for everyone. Follow and share with someone who really needs it and we'll see you next time. Keep dreaming big.