Substances and Snowballs | History Hyenas

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What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chrissy D. We said, whoever is going to start this pod, I'll start it and you want to say what depends, how cute you think I am and I said, I'm starting because let me tell you something right now. Not only do you look good, you've gotten skinny. No way. You've lost a little weight. I don't know what it is about that green shirt because you look like an asparagus. And I want to eat you and have my pee smell. It has to do with the beard. Fans, I've been seeing fans say exactly what you say for the love of God, he don't shave the beard. Yeah. Because right now I'm in jowl, I have jowls, I got a turkey neck. It's right there. It's right what it is. But it's unnoticeable because I'm reading your energy. You want to get into some shit today. I don't want to get into some shit today because you want to throw some snowballs and police officers. I really, really, really do cause I really want to do it big and I, I, though energy that you're sensing is a little thing called 10 milligrams of THC. I'm on an edible. We call it an eddy. You're not, it's not Chris is definitely not. It's eddy to Stefano. Hello. Listen, Eddie, whatever works, whatever works for you, whatever works for you works for me because I like you on substances because I know you're a guy that likes to do a little something to the corners. Yeah. You know, when you have kids, you get a little foam. You put it around the corners. Yeah. Some corners. Yeah. You got a lot of corners. Yeah. And so what you do with the substances is you just round up and you put a little foam on the corners. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The corners of life are foamed up so you don't bang into it because it's what it is and I had a big, big day today. I mean, I'm coming. This is me big. I missed you big. I kept saying, I mean, I was texting you three days ago saying you could just fly to Baltimore and rent the car. You could fly to Baltimore and I'll pick you up. Yeah. What he did. He called me up. He said, because what's the limit on FaceTime? And you do it all day or on FaceTime because you wouldn't walk around with me with your phone like we were in the her movie. Yeah. Cause the last thing you'll ever see in your life is me cutting your face off and it's putting it on and FaceTime in your family. What I watched last night before I went to bed was a big, steaming pile of shit that was that movie called Bulgaria? Yo. Stop roast was great. And it's that roast was absolutely probably the best part of it because begonia was a, I hate to say this because he's my countryman, but it was a big fat steaming pile of shit and we're all getting fucking sick and when I say we're all, I mean, about the 14 coffee house people who still go see those movies, they're all getting sick and this guy's fucking weird SNM fantasies. Yeah. We get it. You want to fucking SNM torture her. Yeah. I mean, the next movie he's going to call her every day and be like, Emma, hello, Emma. It's a, this is you are going to slap him once again, listen, I think he's obsessed because he's just corner gone. Listen, I have no movie. We're going to turn you, this one, we turn you into an alien, alien with a hermaphrodite and we're going to, this movie, we're going to take, we're going to take some steel pipe, some steel piping, a contract in grade and we're going to ram it, ram it in early order in the halls until you bleed inside out, but this is a commentary on society and how the corporation is taking other, Emma, please don't hang up. This is a good one. This is going with skin you alive, it's about the Mexican cartels. So we take your friends face and they skin it and put it on your face. What do you say? Huh? The kid, obviously, he's obsessed with Emma Stone and he just wants to put her in the most compromise, every movie that she is in with him. This girl is getting like defiled, she fucked, I mean, he's actually living my dream watching her get fucked. Yeah. And then making her shave her head. I mean, yeah, you, the only thing is you'd like to trade to Emma Stone after Jeanne Bouchard because this movie, he's just got Emma Stone just, just came up in a basement of this kid is acting out his SNF fantasies on Emma Stone. I mean, 'cause what can I tell you Greeks are weird people? We're weird people. You're weird people. But you're, you found your way, you worked your way around Greeks again. What I love about Greeks and what I think is why I really attracted to you and the Greek culture is because you're the closest white people to Puerto Ricans. Yes. You're the, if there's, if there's different shades of white, then Greek is Puerto Rican proud. We are, I like it. We are the Puerto Ricans of Europe. You are the Puerto Ricans of Europe. Even if you think about it, the Puerto Ricans have Weapon, which is sort of like a word that doesn't have a definition, it's just like we're excited and we want to break things and we want to ruin our economy. Right. And the Puerto Ricans and the Greeks have UPA. Right. So, I said that backwards. Can we do that again? It's what? No, just do it. There's no end things. We have UPA. They have UPA. 'Cause you wanted to have a boy. I got them in my pocket. I sounds like I'm on an edible right now. But right now, I'm high on cyanide. Yeah. 'Cause we get to a certain age, we need substances. We need substances. Now, 'cause I want to ask you right now, dealer's choice, what do you want to take? What do you want to do? Do you want to do a little THC? Edibles? Do you want to do that? I want to do pills. I got pills. 'Cause what do you want to do? A little pills? 'Cause you're shaking them like they're nerds can't. A little pills? 'Cause. Yeah. This is the beginning where we find use. I need a little space. 'Cause you have so much space in your house that they're not going to be able to find your body with your OD for three days. It's just what it is. 'Cause sometimes what happens is my family will be yelling at me. I'll be going through the motions of life. And then I'll just hear a little sound. And that sound is. Wait. Damn it. Well, what else? Why'd you throw that? Go get it before it. Yeah. Go get it before it. Go get it before Nick crawls on the floor and eats it. I found it. Yeah. One that I took a bite at last week. I forgot. Now, 'cause. Well, what's this new Chrissy Edibles phase? This new Chrissy substances. What are you nervous about? Well, what happens is, 'cause it's some time, you got any big life stuff coming up? Yeah. So, 'cause sometimes what happens is you make decisions, and then those decisions come back and do a little thing called "Hont You." What are we talking about? No, 'cause we're just. You know, here's the thing. Yeah. It's just life is a little. What it is is this, 'cause. What it is is this is sometimes you buy something. You know, you invest in something and then it's one of those things where it's like, "Then the bill comes due." Right? You forget about it. Like, this is great, this is great. But now it's like, the bills come due. The bill is due. And the reason. And I don't have the money to pay the bill right now, so what I need is a little space. And I get that in the form of THC and pills. Have you ever. Those are my blood pressure pills, by the way. Yeah. I mean. That's how bad it's gotten. I have to walk around my blood pressure meds. Yeah. Because you treat life like you're in a maximum security prison. Yeah. Yeah. Because if I were to ask you what's going on, you'd tell me a bunch of stuff and I'd go, "Those actually sound like the healthiest choices I've ever heard of." Yeah. Yeah. Those are what's stressing me out. Yeah. Yeah. So, you're a little guy who likes to run free. You're a tough jailbird. I'm a little. Exactly. You don't know how to do time on the outside. I like to. 'Cause here's the truth is I'm exactly like your chain. I'm living on the outside, but I should be on the inside. Yeah, because you're not supposed to pull out a chain of the sweatshirt. Yeah. It's what it's called. It's called Yani's chain. Yani's chain is a new lingo and what that means is you're living on the outside, but you should be on the inside. That's a new word. Yeah. Because when you pull it out like we've said, when you pull it out with the sweatshirt, it just looks too intentional. Yeah. And the way that when you pull it out and it's just halfway out, it's just kind of fallen over. It looks like Stephen Hawkins in a wheelchair. Look what I got. I got two. Wow. I went to the ball in Log Island. Yeah. And I got this soldered clothes. 'Cause if you go to Long Island and you don't get at least one chain from the mall and one bagel from the bagel store, you didn't even really go to Long Island. 'Cause if you get buried in the Log Island, you don't got your chain out. You didn't grow up on the island. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. 'Cause if you don't get two bagels with you in a little bit of locks, smash me in and then you're not from the island. I'll tell you one thing right now. If Nancy Guthrie, Savannah Guthrie's mom would've went missing on Long Island, she would've got found by a little person called the Long Island medium. The Long Island medium would've sniffed her out and found that body. But the Long Island medium to recent computer, her powers don't work outside the island. Isn't it amazing? Yeah. The two most famous TV mediums were both from Long Island. - John Edwood, John Edwood's right. - John Edwood, and Risa Capuda. - The Long Island media. - Was that her last day? - Yeah, it was, yeah. - Yeah, it was just two Italian kids from Long Island who could tell you they could talk to dead people and they started out with a core, core, strong family because you can really get Long Island people to believe anything. - 100%. - Yeah, if you could talk to Risa Capuda, you ever watch the show, she's very fun. Look at her hair, her hair is great. - Because, yeah, I actually, here's how I knew my career was kind of going towards the bottom because even though she's a big deal, they asked me if I wanted to go on tour opening for her 'cause she sells a lot of tickets. So it would be an upgrade for me, but-- - Yeah, I mean, 'cause her hair, she visited 1984, '85. The hair's wild. - She said this is where my hair's at. - The hair is wild, now speaking of hair. I feel like, do you think, 'cause I told you, I think you look skinny, look like an asparagus, you look good, how do you think I look today? Do I look handsome? Do I feel handsome to you? - Well, the thing is you had a date with a guy. - We had a date with that guy. - That's what, so we're gonna, I wanna relive it now, and I wanna just know if you thought I was handsome and I need you to be honest. - Well, the thing is, if you're showing up, right? And you constantly talk about your financial issues, right? - Right. - 'Cause you're a kid who likes to bite off a little more than you could chew. - Big time. - Except for animals like chew them off. - Yeah. - So you had a perfect opportunity. You had a perfect opportunity to be, to have this guy be your sugar daddy. - Right. - You know, so you're going to meet a guy who's worth about a quarter bill, right? And you show up, you know, you dressed good for the spots the other night when you just saw him quickly, but then when you had a sit down date with this guy. - Well. - And you had a chance to be a side piece. - Yeah. - And get a little money. - Yeah. - You show up like you're working out. Like you're a ball boy. You got plastic pants on and you got the outfit on where I know you don't give a fuck today. - Yeah, well, here's the thing is the reason why I did it this way is 'cause what happened was is he came to the comedy seller, couple of nights ago. I dressed up, I had my good jacket on, my good sweater, I sent you guys the pick, we'll post the pick here. I tried to look good, I tried to look as cute as possible. I did all my A material, had a good show, and then he just left, and then he just walked away. So I said to myself when I was getting dressed this morning, I said, you know what? I said, this guy probably doesn't like a dressed up guy. I said, let me go show him the other side of me. Let me show him some athleisure, okay? And I said, and also, it's very, it's a lot easier when I'm wearing these baggy sweatshirts like that to hide the gun because I'm going to take him hostage. Why do I wear his face? So I had the gun strapped, and then I said, I'm not gonna get the gun out through a uniclo down jacket. But what happened is I walked in there, and the show, I love the show, owning Manhattan, right? Ryan started hand from owning Manhattan. I love the show. You see handsome, handsome, drinkable water. So I go in there and they say, hi, you know how long? I said, hi, I said, I'm Ryan, I said, I'm here to meet Ryan, and the lady goes, oh, can I have your name? I said, tell him it's Chris from Grindr. That's just what I said, and she was like, she was like, do you use your real name on Grindr? Yes. And so she said, so she said, huh? I said, Chris from Grindr, he'll know what it means. And then so he does, has no idea what's going on. And then there was one of the girls from the show, from the reality show he does, which is one of my favorite shows on TV, owning Manhattan, check it out. I saw her in the lobby, and she's like a beautiful girl. And so she said, hi, and I said, hi, I'm Chris from Grindr. And then she was, we were talking, conversating a little bit, and I said, I don't want Ryan to come down the stairs and see me talking to this woman because then he's gonna think that I'm straight. So I said, so I said, let me go and I saw a ball pin of guy agents. And I just sat with those guys and started talking about the mess. Until Ryan came down and then Ryan gave me about 10 minutes of his time. And I tried to get him to smell the chloroform rag I had but he walked away because the kids weren't, you know, kids just run around doing meetings. But I had a whole plan to dress like this guy. And also it was so hot in his office, but because the jacket matched the shoes, I didn't take my jacket off. I got that move. So the sweat go down the back. Yeah, I've done that move. Sometimes if the jacket's cute, you got to keep it on. Then I tried to get fun and I sent him an emoji of an open asshole and I haven't gotten a response to that. I'm on a group chat with somebody else. So it's just what it is. What it is is I'm in a mood to fuck shit up. You're in a mood, yeah. And because I'm not Chris, Stephanie. I'm Eddie, Stephanie. You're Eddie, Stephanie, you're Chrissy, Eddie's. And you have, you look like you've lost years. Right, you look younger. Yeah, you're looking really good. Yeah, because I don't know if you've tucked in the skin tags or what's going on. Right. Great. No, what it is is I've decided to say, I've decided to say I've had enough. I need some space. I need to be happy. I need to be free. And what I'm doing is I'm taking animals and I'm going on dates with guys. And that's just what makes me feel comfy. And then I go home to my family and we have a good time watching, you know, tape up in the demon hunters and running around on the tried schools. But during the day, daddy needs to get a little high walk around and go on a date with a guy. Listen, you just fall into one of the two categories of Republican, okay? You grew up in, you know, I'm not saying you're Republican, you're a kid who's above it all. Yeah. Ryan cannot ever see me, you're saying that I'm Republican that's not what, no. But what I'm saying is Ryan is apolitical. He's apolitical and so are you. Yeah. Right. Politics isn't something you're interested in. I'm not interested in at all. So, but what you've done is you've fallen into one of the two buckets of Republican. Right. Very straight, manly, kind of working class Republicans. And then you got your college educated PhD level, which you are. You're basically a doctor, right? Basically a doctor, a very educated, white collar service based with a family, but secretly gay and meets guys in motel and we coined what that side of the coin is. Yeah. That's Faggot. That's Faggot, right? That's what I represent. It's actually like you two bridges and Republicans is you got that and then you got the guys who are secretly in the closet. It's what it is. You got guys in motel. Yeah. And yell about homosexual. Me and Scott Bato from Staten Island, who paints and we're a couple of gay kids. Scott Bale. No, Scott Bato. Boy Scott Bale. Scott Bale was big. Yeah. Yeah. Scott Bale was big. Big Faggot. Yeah. So now, so ultimately, you know, the date I think went well, you know, had in his office and I said, you know, there was, you know, I hang out with a lot of people like this, you know, I was making things up and I said, you know, I don't want, I don't ask for anything from anybody. Not going to ask the podcast. Not going to ask anything. I said, the only thing I asked is that you remember me. And he kind of looked at me. Yeah. Because it was kind of a joke. Yeah. And he kind of looked at me and then he looked at his watch and he was like, it's been such so great meeting you and then he gave me a pound and I left and I got walked out by security guard. And then what I did is I took another bite of the edible on Broadway. Now, let me tell you something about this guy right here. There's no chance that a guy who hosts a show who's worth a quarter bill. Right. And the show is called owning Manhattan. There's no chance that the kid goes to the voting booth and clicks on mom. Tommy, it's just not a shot away and he's also a born in Boston, a race in Boston. Yeah. But I'll tell you what happens with these guys. Great guy. Ryan, go follow him. Ryan, go follow him. He's my guy. He's my boyfriend. Yeah. He's a great guy. He's a wonderful guy who kind of live on the coast is they end up marrying a girl who is what I like to call conveniently liberal, right? Right. They don't have to worry about anything. They don't got to pay anything for anything, but they're and they live an absolutely Republican lifestyle. What it is. But what they do is they are outwardly liberal, right? Their private life is all Republican. They live behind gates. They live in five million dollar houses. Their husbands use every tax, loop and hole available and then they go out there and they have brunch at, you know, Danielle or if you shut the rail and you just talk about how the Republicans ruin it. Conveniently liberal. Yeah. And they just say, you know, what ice is doing out there is horrific, but they've never been to or ever seen anyone who's Mexican. It's what it is. It is who they are. And so those ladies end up influencing the guys who are a political or couldn't give a shit about politics at all into just being liberal. That's what happened. It's what it is. And, you know, and the bottom line is, it's we had a great date. I had a great date with the sky and does your wife know that you're seeing guys? No, she doesn't know yet, but she's going to find out big. She's probably had huge hunches that you are a homosexual man when you ran from a deer. Well, you left your daughter outside. You ran from a deer. Yeah. He wasn't even close to you. He was just in your yard. You scared and you ran inside and you're four year old daughters and daddy ran inside and left me outside. It's what it is. Yeah. You were scared of a deer. I'm scared of a deer. And that's how it is. And I'm just really scared of the outdoors. And I just think ultimately though, I took a nice walk today. I walked about 20, 25 blocks through the city and it's about 50 degrees here, but there's still snow on the ground. So what we call that is a Berlin summer and it calms me down and it makes me go back to the good old days when I was in Berlin. You're a guy who doesn't like reality at all. Yeah. You're not a fan of it. As we've been saying since 2018, reality is a suggestion. It's a suggestion. And I live by it. Yeah. You live by that. So if you were at some point living in Berlin, you know, that's what we call not existing in reality. Right. That's what we call a bat signal for a roofing company. A roofing company. That's what we want to just put a big old bat signal in the sky and say this kid thinks he's living in Berlin in the 1950s and this is an alternative life. And he's also on subsets and he's also like getting anxiety about things that are actually greatness life. You got to throw him into a padded room and lock the door. Lock the door. And by the way, speaking of Batman symbols, go to patreon.com/historyehinas because the text that I'm going to read on today's Patreon or wild, we have a nice text reading session and you can only see those texts at patreon.com/historyehinas. It's worth the money. If we do another category on our Patreon, just called Chrissy's housing expenses, just for some secret, a more, some like some gay guy out there that loves you, just wants to pay for you. When I told, 'cause Ryan knows obviously so much about real estate, the show on him in Hatton shows that, he asked me where I live and I told him, and then he was like, "Oh, I thought you lived somewhere else," and so while I actually moved from that, when he goes, "But when I first messaged you, you were living somewhere else," and I said, "Yeah, I just moved." He goes, "How many times have you moved?" And I said, "I've moved about three or four times in four years." And he goes, "Well, that's an internal problem." That's what he said. And I go, "Yeah." He goes, "You probably, each one of them has been the perfect counts for a different reason. You've got an internal problem." You're looking for external answers. He said, "Pull down your pants." Yeah, you're the only guy in real estate who's pulled off what I like to call the hat trick. You know? You can pull off three goals in a game and hockey and pull the hat trick, or you can sell three houses in a year and pull a hat trick. Do you know how a guy who has sex with a lot of girls, has so many girls numbers in his phone, he doesn't even know who's who? That's how I'm real estate agents, right? I've had it. I've had it the most of my records, so far as I've had five different agents looking for houses for me while currently trying to sell the house that I was living in that I didn't even know, but I tried to sell it anyway. Yeah, well, we had a retired sergeant in here. He was also. He was one of my real estate agents, and I forgot about it. And he had no idea that you was seeing other guys. Yeah. When I closed on my house, where I bought my house, he was my active real estate agent, and I said, you know, I texted him, I said, "Yeah, I got the house, whatever." He goes, "What do you mean?" Yeah. I was like, "I got the house." And then I told him where I was looking. He goes, "What do you mean?" He called me, because you were looking up there. Yeah. I said, "Yeah." He goes, "I thought I was your agent, we were looking over here." Yeah. You know what? I just made a decision. I was cheating on you. Yeah. I was cheating on you guys. Because you don't want a house on Staten Island? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was a time that you wanted a house on Staten Island, and you took. You were on Staten Island. I fully bought a house on Staten Island. Yeah. And you looked around, you said, "Wait a second. Where's the bagel store?" Yeah. I said, "Where's the bagel store?" I looked around. I said, "You know what? Things are too peaceful here. Things are too good. I can afford it too well. You know, what is the problem? And the problem was the bagel store wasn't in walking distance, and the funny irony is, is the house I currently live in now has a bagel store twice as far away. I think I know what your next special should be called. It's not an external problem. It's an internal problem. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, that should be my reality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. a little juice and why I had to take an extra animal is because they called me today and said my ABC pilot is done down in the water. So now your boy is old for 14 pilots. Cause but here's the thing cause I'm old for 14 as a pilot. You're a home run hitter that you take a cut. What it is because you know who's playing. I guess I'm on Mohammed Autos. Ways on she ain't all for 14 in this business. Well, because I wouldn't feel bad about that. Well, yeah, because guess what happened the last time I didn't get a pilot. Yes, what happened? We started history. Hyenas. That's right. That's what it is. So we actually started that before. Yeah, the the pilot. No, no, but the pilot. Oh, that's right. It was kind of at the beginning. The show didn't go. My CBS sitcom pilot didn't go. And I said, we got out. What do we got to do here? And then we came up with the podcast and we did history. Hyenas. And now my ABC show has officially not went. So you know what that means? Hey, babes coming back. Cause let me ask you a question. Yeah, which one of we're going to make this show big. We're going to make this show bigger than you ever could fucking imagine. Yeah, because now I really have to. Okay. Now I really have to because not only do I have a family. Yeah. I don't need to have a beautiful family that I have to pay for and provide for. But I also owe money to some bad people. And I was expecting ABC to pay for it. And that's not going to happen. But they were and I can't borrow any more money from Kimmel. Here's the thing though. Cause when you look around, right, when you look around at our colleagues, right, our generation generation above, which one of them have a family sitcoms? What? Yeah, none. Oh, I don't know what we're going to say. What's one of around? Which one would you kill first? And I say I'm obligated to say Jesse because he's a Jew. Yeah. JK. No, I'd save you, buddy. Yeah. Thank you. That's the right thing to do. Yeah. It's the right thing to do. Yeah. Which one of our colleagues has a family-friendly sitcom? Do Bill Cosby's the only one I can think of? A lot of 14. Yeah. So I'm saying is don't feel bad. Cause what you were doing, I think is what you often do is I think you like to fish. Yeah. In empty waters. That's what I like you like. Yeah. Sometimes fish in empty water. I like to fish in empty water. Yeah. People were going, hey, these puns are full of fish and you're like, yeah, but I like that one. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that one has no water and no fish. No fish. Yeah. That's what it is. I said, you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go all in on a sitcom and stop posting on my own YouTube. And I said, this is the path forward. Yeah. You were like, this is the path forward. I mean, I'm just saying I can't think of one person who's got who's has a sick cause. All I can say. And let's be honest, a lot of the world, a lot more family friendly than you. Yeah. I mean, because the truth is this. Yeah. This is my manager even told me goes, the truth is, is it that was never going to go? So don't worry about it. Just wasn't a good script. I said, he goes, do you have any other ideas? I said, well, I have an uncle who's a cat judge and he dropped the phone and picked it up. He said, get me that script on my desk by Monday. Yeah. That's fun. That's the show. Yeah. That's fun. I think you've been going to father side of the family. Maybe you need to go mother side of the family. So the show, the new sitcom is my uncle's a cat judge. Yeah. Yeah. And we're calling it and the name, the title of the show is it's not external. It's not external. It's in terms. He also has some internal issues. Yeah. Well, you know, just like much like Theresa Caputo's hair that stopped in the 80s. Sure. I think you're your dreams about a sitcom kind of in the 90s. You were just like, yeah, her. Your dream for a sitcom is her hair. Right. It's just in the 90s. It's not going to work. That's why I want to say go for one camera. So I want one camera. I want to be able to curse. Yeah, and let's call it a cat judge. And let's hire my real uncle because you're not going to get funnier than that. It's what it is. Nobody's going to be able to play that because it's what it is. You know, I always think I live in a little bit of nostalgia for some reason. Maybe it's a sense of control, but I have to say thank you to the history of his fans. I'd be nothing without you. Now I literally financially mean that. So go to paint try that conscious history. I can support our show on YouTube and listen to this ad from who gives a shit. Chrissy, I got to say, what's one thing you wish you'd known earlier about how credit actually works? Because there's so many things, but I mean, bad credit can just make everything harder. Yeah, from renting an apartment to getting a fair rate. Yeah. And you know what's helped me turn the table so I can finally get the credit I deserve. Ava. Ooh, Ava. Yeah. Ava is really, really good. It's a credit building app that's designed to work fast and help your credit score where it really matters. So your credit score can start climbing with almost zero effort. Yes, I want you to take control of your credit today and download the Ava app, A, V, A. And when you join using my promo code, hi heinus, H, Y, E, N, A, S, you're going to get 20% off your first year monthly or annual your choice again, grab the Ava app and use our promo code, hi heinus. 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And if you're a gay guy and you don't like the name Lucy, it doesn't get you going. You don't want to open your mouth. Just call it Louis. Just call it Louis. You're fine. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. And remember, get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code hyenas. And if you don't want to wait, just head to Lucy.co/stores to find Lucy near you and grab it today. Cause what can you do? You're in good shape. Maybe the sitcom is my uncle's a catch-up and his wife's the long island medium. I love it. Is that the show? I love it. What was my uncle Russell's wife had that here? The only thing that I do know about you is if you got the sitcom, you'd be calling me every day saying, "Cuz, how do I get out of this?" I don't get out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's what I do know. You'd be going, "This isn't what I thought it was going to be. I don't like it. It's just telling me to do this. I got to sit here all day chewing your nails." And you say, "They won't eat. They've taken my phone for me." Yeah. Because I can't remember all these lines. And they say, "Crissey, why are you constantly shopping for houses?" Yeah. You got to be learning your lines. Yeah. There's a video of me when I'm like, "Cuz I know you're anywhere but here." Anywhere but here. That's another possible name for a new sitcom. But I'll tell you why. And where but here. But I'm locked in right now because I'm our good friend Eddie. Edibles. Right? Edibles. I'm locked in on you. Have you noticed I haven't stopped looking into your eyes for the last 30 minutes? Well, I thought that's because you know you have a skin tag on the top of an eyelid. You don't want to blink. I'm trying to close it. Yeah. You just want to blink. Because when you blink it pops out. Cause I got to be honest with you. The way I, it's gotten smaller. Yeah. What are you doing to it? Taken animals. Honestly, because it's like disappeared. it's one of those things were in the inside, on the outside I am who I am, I'm Chrissy Skintags, I'm Chrissy Hitler hair, whatever I am, Chrissy Big Bud, and Chrissy plastic pants, Chrissy Ryan Sirhan's fiance. But what the truth is is on the outside I am what I am, but what THC makes me just let go and kind of give up, but also get up, I've given up in my life, but I get up and go to work anyone I don't care, so on the outside I'm me on the inside I'm Nick, cause yeah that's what I am, cause on the inside I'm a stick, you know what I'm saying, so it's not, you relax like Nick, but you get up and shower, I get up and shower, right, right, so I feel together, I'm Jesse Nick, yeah you're a combination, I'm a combination, yeah I have Nick's kind of just whatever go with the flow, yeah, Jesse's you know, creativeness to where's Bo Choose for 12 months a year, like that, I kind of just give in, I've let go and let God, the thing about Jesse's, you can't leave him alone for too long, right, cause what happens if you don't call, Jesse will never call you, never, right, so Jesse will never go, hey I'm in the mood to talk to someone, right, doesn't happen, you have to call him, right, he's just, he's, he's too go with the flow, so if you leave him alone for too long, you'll find him unbathed, yeah, he hasn't washed his hair, and he's wearing his neighbor's boat shoes, yeah, it's just what's gonna happen, but when you call him and you make him get up and you say, hey, well you're good, we're gonna do this show, next thing you know, he's got air max on, which make no mistake, he didn't buy or want on his own, he had to get them for a Christmas present from his brother who got him for 10%, yeah, because the kid wants him up, he's the fucking half Jew Buddha, he could hear less cause he wants the Judah, he's Judah, he's Judah, yeah, so you just gotta, you know, you get, the thing is with Jesse is once in a while, he doesn't know this, but just once in a while I go, I figured out, because he told me where he lived, I figured out where his apartment was, I figured out, I followed a trail of clay once, I said that's where he lives, and so sometimes I check his garbage when he throws in, I check him, and if I see more in a week, if I see more than 50 Tangerine peels, I call in, and I say, somebody get Jesse out of the hole, yeah, yeah, the kid, and the reason why I was gonna say the difference between you and Jesse is, you're not a big fan of structure, it's not one of your favorite things, no, you don't love it, no, yeah, Jesse's a guy who, if you take the structure for him, he's, he needs substances, right, like he's a kid who relies completely on a structure day, right, if you try to deviate something, and it could be anything, his mother can call and say, I just fell out of a window, yeah, I only have one leg now, yeah, but right now is my time to be at the studio, this is my time to peel a Tangerine and stare at some of my paintings and think about ideas, yeah, it's what, that's just what he likes to do, because Jesse has a little thing we like to call autism, he's got a little thing called autism, he's got a little thing called sticking to his schedule, yeah, because if you take the schedule for him, he stares too deep into the abyss, he doesn't know what to do, it's what it is, because we got Jesse's spectrum TV, that's what he is, yeah, that's what it is, but my point is, is that there's something, there's, you know, I'm never really, you're right, never really present, never really locked in, so what it is, is sometimes I like to just take a nibble of a little bit, just a little bit, not, not doing five, not even doing ten, I'm doing two and a half, and that was a little coffee, plus I had just a tiny, it's a little bit of vodka at the bar, and then, and then you just get it juiced up a little bit, just to sip, that's all I need, and then you feel good, and I just, I just feel a little bit lighter, I say the problem's waiting for me, or you know what, they're a little bit further away, yeah, just a little bit, just a little bit further away, like today when my pilot didn't get picked up, I didn't cry, remember when I cried on the phone with you with Comedy Central, I didn't cry this time, no, but you were crying about a girl, you were about a girl, but then I still cried to the Comedy Central exactly, yeah, yeah, so this day at all, people on the phone with me, and I just said, I, I said, listen, I said, it's all good, yeah, I said, you know, things happen, life goes on, hope is my hedge, and I said, I will be, I will be just fine, and I was just smiling, and it was, and then, you know, and then whenever I hung up, I took it, you know, the quick, I ducked into the broom street bar, took a quick sip of vodka, and I walked over here, and I called you, what I like about you is you believe, 'cause I believe, there's needs to be more people like you on the planet, there's a lot to learn about you, yeah, a lot to learn, a lot of fighting for the Christian army in the modern day, that is what I'm talking about, yeah, people need to, people need to put down their pile, pick up their sword, and get in line, we're going to work, it's what it is, you know what I mean, you get in or get out of my way, get in or get out of Christian's way, it's just what it is, and so, animals give me a little bit of space, and I enjoy it, and I feel like the real me doing this, what I mean is you believe, and people should believe, yes, the lusional belief is what is good, believe in yourself, believe in something, I mean, you just got to believe, 'cause when you were telling me it was a family-friendly sitcom, I said to myself, where's Nate Bargats, he's family-friendly. Right. If he doesn't have one, I was like, Chrissy's chances are slim, but I'd love that you take a cut. I take a cut. I love that you go for it, because I'm around people, I grew up around people in Queens that believe, my friend James Debowl, he believes, he believes in JetBlue, he believes in the Metz, and he believes it's going to have sex this year, and the kid just, he believes it's three year of belief, and so that's where I grew up around, I grew up around, you know, a father who believed, you believed the Metz were going to cover. Yes, believe. Yes, right? You believe that the spread is what it is, and we're going to win big money, and go get a house in Pennsylvania. You don't believe, you believe, you believe, you know, your amount of belief, you believe, you believe, you're straight, you believe, you wake up that belief, you believe it straight, yeah. You got to freaking believe in stuff. It's what it is. We got to have Nick believes in John Cena, he believes that he's going to win that match. Yeah, it's just what it is. He believes that what's happening is real. He believes it's not scripted, he believes in Apple stock. He believes in Apple stock, I mean, just, the kid got Apple stock early. Yeah, Jesse believes, he believes, because he got to absolutely 100% believe, he believes in fidelity. You got to believe that the executive who's in charge of giving you that sitcom doesn't have a phone, he doesn't scroll, and come across this clip when you're saying this to Bobby Lee. When you're out bad friends going, yeah, yeah, yeah, Nick, if we're doing this as a clip, this is the reason why they get the sitcom, and then you do that, man, yeah, that's kind of Donald Trump, yeah. You got to believe that that viral clip of you and Bobby Lee just is not seen. It's just not seen. And it does, yeah, it's just what it is. So now what we do is we move on. What we do is we've always been invested here in the podcast, but maybe we start doing an extra day, and then what, and then, and then we'll try to get a game show. So seven year old people who can't get off the couch will like it. Get it? I try to get a game. That's an extreme. I try to get a game show. Or honestly, if, if, if over the next couple of years I realized comedy just isn't working out, then I go join the NYPD. That's what you can do. I get a fake license and say I'm 10 years younger and I go join the NYPD. I got way through. They, because I think they, they have kept your application open. Sun. You're the prodigal sun. When you, when you sign up for the test, they'll be like, yeah, he's home. He's home. He's home. He's home. Finally, we got him. We'll celebrate. And the other officers will go, how come you're not paying attention to us? Because they go because he was, he was off. He was lost. Yeah. And we're celebrating the return. The return of one of our own. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Messiah of Ridgewood. Yeah. You just put it, you, your face belongs in the park getting a snowball thrown in his head. It's what it is. It's a snowball fight and then the next thing you know, you open up, uh, your Twitter and you see that the NYPD has prosecuted three people. It's what it is. So the city hall and the NYPD just have a different degree of what's going on. Yeah. And what I can say is I think for the next four years, it's going to be a complete love affair between city hall and the NYPD. It's what it is. Yeah. This is just the beginning of a love affair. A love affair and, you know, and maybe I was at the beginning of something on today's date with the love. I don't know. Yeah. This is everything is going to be okay. You let go. You let God, you know, because everything is okay. Everything is okay. And that's why Jesus Christ, I, you know, I'm more on his side. Yeah. I think everything is so okay. It's making you nervous. It's what it is. Yeah. I think it's so okay. You're going where is the fun, fun, fun? Yeah. Sometimes things are so okay that I just start growing skin tags to make me think I'm not okay. Exactly. I mean, you are so okay. Yeah. You're just so okay. Because now both chains around it looks like you got a tongue sticking out of your sweatshirt. Because I was in Bakersfield, California this week. I mean, talk about, I mean, because honestly, being in Bakersfield, California, I'd rather, I'd rather be living in Mum Donnie's asshole. I'd rather be a polyp. Funny you say that because if, if I think if you took a peek, I think that's what it would look like. That's what it is, right? I have a lot of muzzies there. No, not a lot of muzzies there. But Bakersfield, California is one of the most unique places I've ever seen in my entire life. It's in oil town. It's whatever. It's only two hours from Los Angeles, right? So it's so close to Los Angeles, but yet so far, far, far to the right of it. Yeah. It is a right wing oasis. It's the most conservative. If you're telling me, we would sell big tickets and so- We'd sell big tickets. Big. Yeah. It's this little oasis of like working class, like farmers and oil well guys and lots of Mexicans. Sure. And they voted. One of the funny things is they voted 74% against gay marriage in California. Yeah. 74%. Yeah. Catholic family, seven out of the 10 siblings stood up and started gay bashing the other three. One thing I know about Mexican Americans, they are not okay with gay marriage. They're just not fans of it. They're not fans of it. Neither is the nation of Mexico, they're not fans. They're just not fans. I think it's a predominantly Mexican area and it's really interesting to see a place like that in California. Right. Yeah. It's also I think one of the meth capitals, it's got the worst air quality in California. I mean it's just a place, it's the forgotten cause now, but the club is great. The club is great. The well comedy club. How was the food? Did you find any good food? Because you know, you do usually find the food. Well, the best place in there has guy Fieri's picture up on the wall and that's about as fancy as you're going to get. It's what it is. It's just what you're going to get. But you walk around anywhere, were you in a downtown area? It's a tiny little downtown with like a block or two and anything cute. Yeah, it had a lot of guys with their shirts off so you would like it. Yeah. And in shape, I would call them more dangerous looking all because they were on drugs. Something like that. I can't get AIDS twice. Yeah. But that's all there is to say about that is a very interesting place. Very interesting place. And when I get from the tone of your voice is you probably won't be going back to Baker's field any time soon. I have no plans at this moment to go take a second peak. It's what it is. Yeah. Sometimes all you need is one peak to know if something's for you or if it's not for you. I was like that with Tacoma. I said I took a peak. Bye. Tacoma. Yeah. Baker's field. Yeah. I mean, it's a tie. Tie. It's a tie. It's a tie. People say what made Ted Bundy, Ted Bundy was its psychopathy, was the abuse as a kid. I took one peak at Tacoma and I said Tacoma did it. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what I did. That's what it is. Yeah. But shout out Tacoma if we ever go there. Please buy the tickets. Yeah. If we ever go there. Because I don't have anything going on. And we talk about this almost every week now, Rag and Bone is our favorite store, the best pair of jeans I have that really fit my ass the way I like it. Rag and Bone. Yeah. I can't believe they're advertising on podcast because that's how good and quality they're close are. Because I got a pair of jeans from Rag and Bone. I wore them last week and at my show. Now are they the only thing is though with you're just about the weight that's not going to make it in Rag and Bone. Yeah. So I was a little nauseous because it was a little tight, tight on my waist, but that's nothing that a little dieting can't fit. Yeah. And we also, not only can you get a great discount here on Rag and Bone. If you have any complaints about Rag and Bone, which you won't. But if you have any complaints, Jesse does know where the owners live. He lives. Jesse knows exactly the house they live in. So we can also get you that information for a price. But you won't, you won't need it. So quality, their clothes are so good. They don't just make your new go-to denim. They've perfected everything from buttery softies and elevated essentials to jackets and knits that pull your whole look together. It's really one of the best companies and clothing companies out there. I've been banging this history, Hyena's code for a while. I've been shopping on it. So what you do, it's time to upgrade your denim with Rag and Bone. For limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with code hyenas at ragdashbone.com. I've been banging it. So go bang it. That's 20% off at ragdashbone.com with promo code hyenas. When they ask where you heard about them, you know what to do. Tell them that the history hyenas sent you here. Yeah. When setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Yeah, to come is a special special place, so that was my weekend then I went to LA and I hung out with Tim Dahl. Yeah, 'cause you got snowed in the reason why the episode's late. If you guys didn't count our Instagram posts, Yani was snowed in and I was on subsistence at a motel in Queens, but Yani only got back into New York City yesterday and we were going to do an episode on Zoom, but we figured that's not, we don't let, you know, we want to give you always, the fans always quality. So we're better in person. So it's a couple days late, but hopefully it's a better episode. You guys like it. Now, Kuz, are you going to be home for the next few months or are you still going back on the road? I am home for a while, 'cause it gets a little tough for me when you're far away. You like to know I got two feet in the five boroughs, 3,000 miles away was rough on me. Yeah, I know. You know, I'm just going to Boston in April and otherwise I'm home. So you don't have to get on a plane now for the foreseeable future? Isn't that great? You know how many times, by the way, because I came off the road, I'm going to start going back in November, but how many times I use the phrase foreseeable future? Yeah. But so many people, I'm off the road for the foreseeable future. It's the foreseeable future, and I just tell you the agents will do useless. Oh. No, they will just do anything to try to make you feel bad about the road, shake, picket sales or whatever, and they just don't love the fact that the podcast is, it does well. We just want the podcast to crash so you go back on road. What we, all I could say to the fans is we seriously, like people say it. We actually genuinely mean it. You guys are the best fans. When we're on Patreon, Janice and I are dying, laughing, sending comments back to each other all the time. Your YouTube comments are hilarious. And I'm so much rather just do this show for the rest of my life, which is probably not that long, and then go back and try to do any of this other Hollywood bullshit ever again because you guys give us the power to say and do whatever we want. The thing is that's, we do have the funniest best fans. We really do. We have our fan base. I've always loved our fan base. They make us laugh. It's just one big circle jerk of fun. And the names that Patreon are hilarious. There's a couple of bangers in here. I took a peek at the list. And because, you know, and we'll get, we don't want to do a topic because we wanted to, because to catch up. Yeah, because the topic was really more about, you know, what do we want? What are we looking forward to in life and you're looking forward to being on the road? I'm not looking forward to hanging out with Ryan. That's right. That's what it is. That's right. And so, how do you feel that you're off the road till November? This is the first time in 15 years. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. You've taken yourself off the road for a couple of months. Right. I've taken myself off the road for seven months. So, how I feel is, I need a little spice. Yeah. So, what we do is, you know, we're gonna, if we can't go on the road and get out that way, then you need to do a little bit, a little hand grenade to your life. That's what you need to do. Just create a little fun. No, I'm just joking. Yeah. Everything's fine. Everything's all good. And you know, it's nice to be spending a lot of time back at my mom's house. Yeah, because you got big things coming up. You got big. Yeah. Big, big things. Yeah. Big things coming up. We got Soul Jolves wedding. We got Soul Jolves wedding coming up March 7th. Yeah. And of course, he figured out a way to book Mad Dog on March 5th and me on March 6th. So, he's just, he's using his week in wedding. Yeah. Also, producer. It is. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't have it any way. Neither would he. So, that'll be good. Because I'm going to get a check and then I'm going to hand it right back. Yeah. Because the wedding is next week. And then the wedding is next week. Yeah. Because don't forget to still let one of the last days. Are you going? Yeah. Yeah. We're going to have a good time. Are you sleeping over? I'm sleeping over because I got to go there on Friday. I'm doing the show there on the 6th. March 6th. Pots down P.A. But seeing your wife's going to sleep over in Pots down P.A. Is there a bigger nightmare for her? No. Your wife, she said Pots down is not cute. It's not cute, but she needs, I mean, she needs a little break. It'll be a night where she's away from the kids. Sure. And of course, the whole time she'll be face time. Face time in the kids thinking about the kids. That's what it is. You go out. Yeah. Just to talk to the kids. Yeah. Yeah. But I need to take her on a vacation big. Yeah. What are you guys going to do? And she's grown from Long Island. So, we are zeroed in on Florida. Yeah. Long Island is a French Riviera. It's what it is. She's a girl likes Florida. It doesn't like Mexico. She doesn't like drama. She's not into whatever foreigners are doing. Right. She just wants to be able to know that the hospital they speak English. Yeah. You know, it's just what Long Island people care about. Safety. Safety. Yeah. Imaginary or not. Yeah. They just want to feel safe. Yeah. Even if there's nothing to feel unsafe about. It's what it is. We always get a hotel as close to the hospital as possible. It just gets a mask. It's really, it's really a thing because that's a 10 out of 10. It's all thought out. Yeah. It's what's the weather going to be. She'll be talking about the weather for two weeks. She'll be watching the weather channel to make sure we get good weather. Right. And she'll, she will definitely zero in and know where the hospital is in proximity to our hotel in case something happens. It's what it is. Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, she has to do that because make no mistake. You got, you were skinny when the show started. Now you're fat again. And so you can always go down. You're out the way when you could just go down. It's just so. And you always got a snooze in your mouth. And you always got the wig in the back pocket ready to do a cameo. We all do it. We got to do to get through. But I'm saying so she needs to know that y'all need to be close to hospital. I need to be close to a hospital because you never know what I'm going to go down. It's what it is. It hits you all the sudden. You never know when the subconscious is just going to hit you. You never know when your shadow is going to creep up. Yeah, we'll put you in a fucking full Nelson. Well, we usually know because we get a text out of nowhere. Yeah. We do get a text out of nowhere. Yeah. And we'll read those texts at patreon.com/historyhyenas. The list, as always, thank you the only way to join the patreon. Join the show where the real fun is at. As you got to go to patreon.com/historyhyenas. We read out the names and I will say this. Yeah, not a good time to vacation in Mexico. Yeah, I wouldn't go to Mexico if I were you. Yeah, I would take a little break. Maybe I'd see if your if your airline does a little ref. Yeah, and if the all-inclusive can book you for another year. Yeah, because right now it's just a little hot right Yeah, no part of Mexico. I wouldn't go. I wouldn't go anywhere. I don't even go to Jackson Heights, Queens So All right, so Keith Carlson, then we got daycare monkey with the lightbulb head not bright just in bread Put him on the list. You know what? I'm too high to stop. Yeah, put him on the list Xavier DeSales Shane old voids the black or the berry the bigger the gooch 14. I don't get it. It's a chicken finger. All right Kelly. Oh, then we got a guy who I haven't heard from in a while Chrissy's power bottom We've gotten like we had a lot. Yeah The daycare center for fatherless children call it Somali Roy Way song see it again. Oh, oh, no, the daycare center for fatherless children call it Somali Roy like a Somali daycare Lee Rex, okay, let me ask you a quick question. If you were gay, would you be top or bottom if I was gay because it's not fun You're the picture in your legs in the air. Yeah, I want to say that I'd be a top But I probably be a bottom. Yeah, because you don't look like a bottom. That would be weird right and by the way I understand that this and I understand the one thing that my family has asked me is to stop making all the gay jokes And then I just did 45 minutes and so I'm sorry. I'm on subsistence. I'm gonna deal with it Okay, Chase Syllager, Jordan Newberry Twinker Bell. That's funny one. That is what we call a definition of a chicken Yeah, Twinker Bell is a really good. Yeah Mark Twinker Bell. I'm actually that's borderline now. Right That belongs doesn't it. Yeah, put it on the list. Twinker Bell is too good. Nice Colin Reed, Nathaniel Natalie Booth, Brian Coppanger, Twinker Bell is actually Tim Dylan's little secret It's what it is. It's a little secret group chat. Yeah with a rotation of Twinker Bell That's actually a great app to think of Twinker Bell. We call Twinker Bell and it's grunt It's like it's grinders competition. Yeah, Twinker Bell bears looking for twinks. That's what it is. Yeah, all right Think of Nick make it we just Twinker Bell Twinker Bell. It's a nap. You're in Nick's writing it down perverted Santa Thomas Guluci Tommy. We don't like a perverted Santa. That's what it is. Yeah, this unfortunately that's those are ones that work at the malls Yeah, Arthur Delgado Ryan Skags free agent guard going hard to the hole Mason Meyer DJ King Aaron deep throat and toes to the ankle bones Jones Wow, yeah, it gets deep in there uncle Lee Roy's brown rice Immediately abbreviated for Greek last name farting the glue out wait immediately abbreviated for Greek last name immediately abbreviated her Greek last name I don't get it because the Greek names are long right almost he almost got himself a Drexler, right Immediate yeah farting the glue out nine You like that lift of course. Yeah, farting the glue out 9/11 sponsored by 7/11. Oh, and it is easy. Yeah, what can you do? Yeah, it's good. It's gonna go on the walk then one But it's a good one easy Brennan Bring back taste buds, but it's just Chrissy MOOC bar. I've never been on that show Honky boy divorced from my lady Lee Roy, okay Kelly Gallo Ethan Hoffa white kid who's got a divorce for his blood. What it is? Yeah Veterans walk and talk, okay backdoor troubadour Drony $5 Bozo Cronky 82 tracks this something I can't see it Santiago if I talk in my sleep Please go risk deep and ventriloquist fist me put him on the list. Okay. Yeah, put him on the goddamn list. It's what it is MJ Silver Fang Jonathan Norwood Gabriel Nadler Seth McIntyre of Brandon Nagle straight to the back, but it'll cost three dollars Drexler they didn't build the pyramids just the tunnels underneath Jewish joke. I think so. Yeah Mendicates Frisbee and Frisbee law You just yeah, I mean yeah, and it's basically yeah, did you get yourself Frisbee and Frisbee and if you did it Then you should go get it yourself Frisbee and Frisbee get yourself Frisbee and Frisbee Thomas G Sean Stokes Moises Boyning anchor baby, but only date white women just to be sure Put him on the list what it is and I'm gonna say contender. I'm gonna say contender I like when the fans give us like a statement or something about them in the name. It's very good And I love an illegal who does his due diligence. Yeah Javier Sarnas Adrian Angelo, Eric Estrella purple pocket box came for the pod stayed for the gay sex Okay, Bill fronking around a Gaza airstrip call me a Fagga If you're reading this Chris, I mean your gay Falk you GK RK Michael Hernan Kristie Nome stop taking Mexican kids. You're fucking up my backyard baseball game On the list, okay, there it is Cameron begin Steve Kerr's son Nick. We've had that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah, you walked in one But they try Christian mayors Hortchopta cannon Chrissy's ham cannon sports card breaks Somali pirates aka dingz on dinghies Way song she ain't It's Yeah, I mean we can't we can't but it's the walk did it. Why is What do I do what is the funniest one what do I do? All right, put on the list who cares. I don't have anything in development. God. It's so funny Michael Call me Miss Piggy and make your meat and make me your meat puppet I'm in Tim Dylan's basement on all fours. I'm now a coffee table Okay, you got the wrong track slur. All right, Suzuki tits with a sandy wife. Thanks a la no fumes Mayo monkey with jungle fever call me tarzan. Okay, put my piece in a diner monkey now. It smells like feta It's just what it is At a mar hk first the Jews now the Mexican call it Frank's and beans First the Jew but the Frank's yeah, yeah, huh Frank. Yeah. Oh Yeah, good. Yeah, creative, but it's a walked in a one. Yes, she was a nice girl. Yeah, Nicholas Christ She was in a set Nicholas Macklem Joshua Shakone built like a gyro white and tight Page B. There's a chink in my fence and it's digging through my recycling bin Vlad 14 Way song she ain't Even next laughing He put it on me if he didn't use that word. Yeah, but Jesse's in a mood to put him on Should we just should we just put on the fans? I'll appreciate it for just put him on put him on I mean put him on just use another word If we just used another word yeah, cuz he kind of had me going I mean I didn't think it was getting a racial I know if he just used another word an Eastern Hemi in my Feds yeah, yeah, my recycling yeah, but they're good at that a chink He's meant like a chink in the chain like that's what I'm saying. It wasn't racial like you always racial I know I ended racial saying he that's the word he needed to use because he got me you know what I mean right if you use Other word it gives it away if Nick's okay in it Nick is okay Nick is our is our progressive far less judge Does that get on the New York posted it about Jeremy Lynn remember that? Oh, yes. They chink in the armor. Yeah, but is that okay? I mean yeah, if it's okay for the New York post. Yeah, it's and it's okay by Nick if Nick says fine then it's fine Yes, do it Wiggas. Yeah, yeah true. Okay. Don't we got a third right Puerto Rican babe. Okay, sounds hot ice makes me cream walked into one Matt McCusker has a bad case of the Lee Royce. Oh, no that one. No, we don't want to do that He's on she and his wife's black. Yeah, I didn't realize. Okay, Matt's good friend of the show. Yeah, we'll hide Latina Mommies from ice one child per Target Bottitute Tim Chandler sort of let those be it a boss you see F. Titan looking for blown coverage in the secondary that's very good Very good under cover. Yeah Drexler cuz he was he has no hair. Muzzy was he is wait Oh, cuz he was he has no hair. Muzzy was he say a prayer. It's what you said John Cholibis victim of bad read sorry the artist formally known as Hashtag I T L E R You get walked in and hit learn. Yeah, okay, Kiki Michael Ian Wenby the latinas can stay I Agree Frisbee free since 1933. Okay, way so she ain't Jesus Christ The thing is if you're going to be kind of like racist like that. It's got to be kind of won that stop if you're going to take that swing Yeah, you got to really hit it's like a stand-up comic doing a bad Asia driver joke. Yeah, you got to make it a home run and in their defense. Yeah, they usually do they usually do make it very Yeah, yeah, Sammy B. Namin Mark V straight to the back, but don't touch my asshole Drexler Mac leaky roof for Epstein proof The Emergency Banking Act of 1933 a K the great Frisbee heist 14 Andrew Oscar Valdez Forionna gaming Brian Mahoney Jr. Joe Harkins Travis server Angela Lisa Arjun my Achilles heel makes her squeal donkey riding FF sent me to the glue factory Derek and Sarah Argenteri you gay muzzie call it radical gizlam and Then last thing you like that radical gizlam I'm gonna put that on the list. Yep. I'm gonna put the gay muzzie radical gizlam That's made the list. Yeah, I really like that and then we got I'm not gay I'm just greedy and we just got one more page a few more a few more names You know episodes a little delayed so we'll just give it to you and then because we got it We do have a great list. So this is good to stick around really strong list. Matt's Massening Cecilia Harvard Ryan Boz Use a short straw to slurp my poo Ethan Zorgeski. I love you dad. Say it back. Um, I like that This Lee Roy knows the golden ratio Whoops Way so she like I thought there's black everybody made me very fond of fortunate walked in one very you Well, I am yeah, you're on reading. It's your right to walk into that. Yeah, yeah black guy. Yeah, I'm an artist I read yeah, it's read what's in the page Not convinced Yanni can read can he do the next five? Mike cleaning out of my cleaning them out for it. I got clip by father Francisco What is his his memory his memory came back. I would alert the authority. I would alert the authorities. Yeah, pap smear enthusiast JT Thompson Kristen Sherman JFK was a member of the peace party. Yes. Yeah, he is a guy P.I.E.C Yeah, Ryan Coon Frisbee's are to be thrown so why not in the oven? No, Jesus Fixing one leaky roof at a time at rufouroutlet.com Good website Andrew leery throw T in the harbor. I heard T bag Harper Okay, so Molly Shekel collector I Like my mini soda with lots of ice Okay, going for it. Sean Hammond Andrew Rizbinsky AK-Mits 907. How many fucking names do I have to create to get on the list? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'll give him a Drexler, so you don't have to keep doing it friend in Maconville DC open-to-day care now Captain Phillips is here This list must be from a while ago because this is this is what we're going to Molly. Yeah, we must be like a month behind right at this point probably yeah But we'll catch up to but that's why you got a join because listen a lot of people join We have a big patreon. There's nothing we can do you just listen every we will get to your name And if you haven't joined join you to to Matthew Anderson Quebec fume bay 51state Yoss HIV a If I had two balls, I'd be in prison testosterone as the hell of a drug I Need a cheeseburger drew Steve Cain and then last but not least BB the frisbee gives me the heebie jeebles Okay, all right. Okay, so we read so now we have a list. Yeah, okay? So we have a list. I think there's some there's a first we thought it was pretty light But then as always it just comes up with some you know some big ones We got one LeBron James on there. I think it was like the third read. Okay, so let's go back To the beginning daycare monkey with a light bulb head not bright just in bread Okay, so that's more of a walked into one right so we're walked into one twinkerbell We're keeping that around twinkerbell. It's yeah farting the glue out. We're keeping that around. Okay. Yeah And then we have Gay muzzle call it radical jislam. We're keeping that around right There's a chink in my fence, and it's digging through my recycling bin Waysong she ain't it's I'm leaving that to Nick Keep it around yeah, saying keep it around. Yeah, I'm not touching. Yeah, what Nick is looking for what Nick is doing is he's looking for a lawsuit that we get sued and then he's gonna get a claim on and he's gonna get more money That's what he's got still be it, but still be able to claim snap benefits because he's in the lawsuit Nick is of a protective group, and he says keep it around. I just want to say that. Yes, Nick is a protective group Yeah, if I talk in my sleep, please go risk deep and ventriloquist fist me. That's got to stick around It's one. It's a strong list Born and anchor baby, but only date white women just to be sure We're gonna direct through that even though it's really good. This is what you call any other day Christy gnome stop taking Mexican kids. You're fucking up my back your baseball game. We're gonna Drexler. It's very good though Somali pirates aka dings on dinghies. We have to legally Bleeding Drexler. Even the nation of Somali said keep it. Yeah, yeah, it's so good, but we're gonna direct all right So here is the list. We've shaven this down to one two three four. We got six on the yeah, six on the list Twinkorbell Farting the glue out. There's a chink in my fence, and it's digging through my recycling We that can't be posted on the site, so we're just gonna have to you know It's one of those things. It's just not fair I think if you would have said Eastern Hemie could have worked this but then it but it doesn't but then it but then you the word that he needed was the word Yeah, but we can't use the world. You know what we'll tell this kid is is he fights hard for this nation He goes on Shane Gillis's website. Yeah, he's far it's on this name You know he knew that there was only one the only way to get the kill He knew he's gonna have to sacrifice himself like a kamikaze pilot Yeah, and he did it for this for this history in his nation. He knew using it to get him disqualified But it's also the only way to win. It's the only way he is actually the winner. He's a kamikaze pilot But he's dead. Yeah, you know what we'll do. He's in memoriam. He's a memoriam Yeah, you're you just created a new category called the kamikaze pilot. Yeah, where you are the funniest, but we can't put it up Yeah, it's yeah, it's just what it is. So you're actually the winner. You're the winner. Yeah, but we just have you're dead I'm just you died while trying to win you died trying to win if I hope it was worth it But you know there's no way we can put that on the website. Yeah Okay, so they're out, but Godspeed gay muslim call it radical gizlam We're keeping it. Okay, if I talk in my sleep, please go risk deep and ventriloquist fist me. It's worthy We're gonna it's a very funny visual right? We're gonna Drexler. All right any other day, and then Somali Pirates aka Dings on dinghies where you know we we got to get rid of that league. Yeah, legally, but and You know what I'll say this is one of this interesting thing where this is like we have two kamikazis on one episode if these were independent they both would have gotten the same award for the same reason But they cancel each other out because Somali Dings on dinghies We also can post but is a way to but he's winning knowing that he's gonna loose. Yeah, you guys you guys You guys are Pearl Harbor right. Yeah, they're Pearl Harbor Pirates. That's what it is Pearl Harbor pilots. Yeah, yeah, yeah Pearl Harbor Pirates. Yeah, Pearl Harbor Pirates. The Pearl Harbor Pirates and if you know you know, you know, yeah Yeah, so okay, so the the last three are Twinker Bell farting the glue out or gay muzzle call it radical gizlom What's the first one again? Twinker Bell keeping it yep. Yeah farting the glue out We're gonna Drexler that okay, so we got we got to run off Gay muzzle call it radical gizlom those are two perfect chicken fingers. Yeah This is a toss up because they're perfect. Can I just say? Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, wholeheartedly 100 percent But it's one of those things where we're when you come down to this final round It's you know one word what's the knockout punch because he said gay muzzle call it radical gizlom When if he would have just put gizlom we would have gotten the joke right gizlom was enough, right? But he put all the other words so like but he had to set up what gizlom is no But if he would have said gizlom I would have understood that it's some type of homosexual islam right because it's islam covered in gizl Right right right, so I would have understood it and that's why Twinker Bell Twinker Bell's a winner Twinker Bell could have also written like you know small twink get and then twinker Bell So if Twinker Bell didn't exist radical gizlom's the winner. That's my opinion. What do you guys agree? I agree with that thinking? Yeah, yeah, I agree with it. So Twinker Bell you are the winner go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. Oh, I'm sorry and go to history hyenas is back.com See your name up in lights Twinker Bell. You are the winner and I would just go ahead and DM Tim Dylan because you're in got it. 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