Stuck Seasons & Silent Growth: Trusting God When Nothing Is Changing

Sometimes the circumstance stays, but it's my mindset that changes. Hello there, you're listening to the Girl Talk podcast. My name is Carol. I'm Kelly. I'm Tricia. And we're so glad you've joined us today. Are you in a hard place, a wilderness place, a stuck place? How do you know? If you find yourself there, this podcast is for you. So how do you know if you are stuck, can't get out, can't seem to make any headway, or if it's just a season of your life? What would you say to somebody? Let's unpack what those look like. Okay. Like what does it look like in somebody's life to be stuck? I think of being stuck as like being in a four-wheel drive. If you've ever gone four-wheeling and you're out in the country four-wheeling and you get in a rut so big that you cannot get yourself out. That's when it pays to have a buddy. A buddy with a big old truck with a hook on it that they could pull you out of that. That's what I think of. A winch. Yeah, a winch. I thought you just called me an ugly name and I was like gonna confront you about that. Girls, girls, you're both pretty. So you have to have somebody pull you out. Yeah. Because you can't get there on your own. A season, I feel like, is a time period where you may be walking through some kind of struggle, some kind of maybe it's an illness, maybe it's just a season that you're going through. It could be a season in life, sure. But you know, you continue to follow God in that season. I feel like when you're stuck, you just kind of throw up your hands and go. Just spin your wheels. And you get in your own head. This happens to me a lot. That's why I brought this topic up. Because I can get stuck really quickly. And I want to turn my stuckness into a season. And we want a quick solution. We want somebody to pull us out today and put us where we need to be. And let's move on. Let's go to the next thing. So does that give you some kind of context? Yeah, it does. You know, the difference in pruning. There's a pruning process sometimes. So there can be times where we are praying about something over and over and over and over and over again. And we're getting zero information from the Lord on it. And we can kind of feel like, okay, is it me? Is there some unconfessed sin that I have in my life? Is there something going on that's keeping me from being able to move forward in this with God? Like we can get out of this, whatever's going on. Or do I need to then reframe and go, okay, this is a season and he's doing something in my life. And that this stuckness actually has a purpose. So good. Because I'm actually in one of those seasons right now. I just, you all know, I got back in February, went to Israel and we were out in the wilderness. We were out in the countryside. There's nothing there. There's a lot of rocks in the countryside we were in. And, you know, I, every once in a while I'll see a shepherd with some sheep around there. And I was just kind of, um, talking to the Lord about this experience. You know, I was kind of, I was there and I was like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like I'm really feeling like I should be feeling in some of these places. You weren't odd enough. Yeah, I wasn't odd enough. And he said to me, and I was, there were some things that I was wrestling with during that trip that I kept praying this. I kept praying this exact phrase, Lord, I just want to understand. I just want to understand. I mean, I don't, I don't understand. And as it wasn't an audible voice, but in my heart, I felt him saying that is not faith. Ouch. Ooh. Ooh. And he is, I've been on this journey for several weeks now when that has been his answer. That is not faith. And he said to me in such a loving way, Carol, your understanding makes no difference. I have a plan and I am working that plan. And even if you could understand it, which your mind's not big enough, but even if you could understand it, it wouldn't make sense to you. So stop praying, Lord, help me understand. Pray instead, God, give me the faith to trust you. Even when I don't understand. Do different prayers for me anyway. And I have just been, and that, that has taken me from a stuck place to a season because I realized God is at work and he is doing something. And he is, if, if, if nothing else, if he does nothing else, he is building my faith right now because I can't control the situation. I can't understand the situation. I can't manipulate the situation. I'm just having to have faith. You know, the Bible says without faith, it's impossible to please God, right? Yes. I want to please God, but I had made it so much about understanding that my faith is not faith. And I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. My faith was somewhere in the rear view. So that's what he's been doing in me. And that's one of the reasons I brought this to the table because I think maybe I'm the only one that struggles with that. But it's interesting. So in, in this discussion, I'm thinking the only difference in being stuck and being in a season is where we are with our faith. I'm asking. So for example, like you were asking to understand something and God's like, you don't always get to understand, but I'm asking you to have faith. So you chose, you chose to have faith. And so you went in that moment from being stuck into a season. Uh, yes. Um, I'm still choosing. Yeah. It's an ongoing choice. Sure. Yeah. Because, because your circumstance didn't change. The only thing that changed is your faith level. Right. Right. And that I think is, and your perspective. I think that's, I think that's powerful to know because sometimes I think, well, to move from feeling stuck, I have to have a different circumstance, but not necessarily. My faith changes. Um, my releasing of the desire to control or understand changes. Yeah. And that, that's the difference. I, that, that, that helps me. I, I often feel stuck because I feel like I'm stuck in a pattern of anxiety and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do anymore, any better, any more frequently. I don't know how to do it, you know, more effectively to release fear and have more faith. Um, so sometimes I just have to remind myself that the situation doesn't have to change. It doesn't have to change. It doesn't change. It's, it's my own understanding of the situation. I don't have to control it. Um, and sometimes when you allow feelings of anxiety, they go away. Hmm. It's kind of an interesting dichotomy. It's interesting. You know, when you were talking about that, I immediately, the Lord actually brought to my mind, uh, Paul and his thorn in the flesh. And the Lord said to Paul, basically, I'm not taking this away from you. Yeah. I'm not removing this thorn in your flesh. You can ask me over and over and over and over again. And I'm, not removing it. Yeah. This is your thorn. Yeah. And your anxiety is your thorn. But the Lord also says, I am going to walk you through all of this. I am bigger than your thorn. Yeah. I am bigger than whatever it is you're carrying. I will walk you through this. I am here with you on this and I'll never leave or forsake you. Do you think that's going from stuck to season? Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. So what if all of our, all of life, our struggles, our situations, our circumstances to be a signpost pointing us back to Jesus, pointing us back. You're in a stuck place today. That's a signpost. Yeah. Like get back to God. Well, one of the things I was thinking about is that sometimes I feel stuck when I'm disobedient. Oh yeah. Like that I, that my own disobedience of not spending time with him, my own disobedience of allowing my sin, um, in my life to become more important than he is. Um, anytime I'm disobedient in any of those ways, that's when I find my self in this stuck place of, um, yeah, not hearing from him, not hearing from the Lord and what I want. I mean, what I want to bring to him. And so, um, that for me, it's again about that perspective. If I can remember, um, my, uh, life through God's lens and how he wants time with me, he wants relationship with me. He wants me to not keep breaking down that, I mean, building up that wall. He wants to really hold my hand and, and be in community with me and be first. And yes, then I come out of that unstuck place and into, uh, into a season and look, can look back on it and go, yep, I'm out of that. That is, I'm, I'm putting that behind me. And it's a, it's a chore. It's a daily commit. It's a daily reconciliation. It's a daily commitment. It's a daily, uh, choice to make. Yeah. Yeah. And how come we don't remember that in the middle of it? Cause we're as dumb as the Israelites, right? Like those Israelites just wandering around for 40 years. But we know that nothing lasts forever unless it's eternity. That's going to last forever. But we, we know from our experience that, um, um, that this is not going to last forever. Like you mean this, this situation, this situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We know that. Yeah. And yet when we get the least little bit of uncomfort, right. Right. Right. Discomfort or, Ooh, like this is hard. That drives me crazy when people say, well, if it's hard, it must not be the Lord. I'm like, I don't know what kind of life you have, but I would like it. Yeah. Because my goodness gracious, uh, I will mention the Israel trip just one more time. Cause it was so impactful, but, but as soon as I got home, it was like the devil had a target on my back and it's been one thing after another. After that, I've talked to several more people who were on the trip. They're like me too. Like it's cause he knew we saw the place. We, our, our feet stood where Jesus walks. You know, those places are real. The Bible is true. You can prove it through these archeological digs in this area. And, and the devil knew that and he's mattering away at him. And so he decided to come after me with both barrels and boy, and there was this, again, God saying, you don't have to understand it. I'm asking you to understand. I'm asking you to trust me. I'm asking, do you have the faith to believe that I have this all under control? Mm-hmm. And the answer was no, but I want to understand. He was like, that's part of your problem. I believe help my unbelief. Yes. How do we, how do we do that? I mean, that's a prayer. How do, how do we do that? How do we effectively do that? So I was, um, dealing with a situation with somebody I love a whole lot. And God was asking me, do you, do you trust me? Do you trust me with them? Or are you going to continue to still try to manipulate the circumstance for the future? That's a tough conversation to have with the Lord. I know. I was like, can you not pay attention to someone else for a while? Anytime the Lord uses the word manipulate. That's right. That's right. He's going to meddling. And then, and then we were in devotions and, um, in a totally unrelated manner, the, the guy who wrote this book, he was talking to us and he said, he brought up the, um, the story of the prodigal son. And he says, there's this moment in the, in the story of the prodigal son, and I'm not going to get it exactly right. So go read the story for yourself. He says, um, and that there was a moment where the, the prodigal son was off doing his own thing and no one helped him. And then scripture says, and then he came to his senses. And so this person that I was praying for this situation that I've been just wrestling with, oh, I just, it's just been breaking my heart. I felt God saying, okay, there, there it is, Carol. Um, he came to his senses without anybody saying anything to him without anybody sharing any Bible verses with him. If I feel called to do that, that's a whole nother situation. But me trying to manipulate the circumstance to get my outcome, that's going to continue to be a stuck place. Because what if somebody had helped him? Yeah. Then maybe he wouldn't have come to his senses. I mean, that, that could have been a link in the chain that needed to happen. And sometimes we try to rescue or help or control or manipulate in some way and we're getting in God's way. Yeah. Cause he, the, the, in that story, I think, as I understand the prodigal son needed to get to that depth before he came to his senses and came back to Jesus. So true. Yeah. It just makes me think of people in my life I've known who, um, struggled with addiction and had to get to rock bottom. And it's hard for the people around them to say, I'm not going to enable this. And I'm like, I'm not going to enable this. And I'm like, I'm not going to enable this anymore. I'm not gonna, um, you know, I'm not going to pay your rent. I'm not gonna, yeah, I'm not going to intervene. I'm going to let you, I'm going to let the Lord, I'm going to trust the Lord with you. And that means letting people that you love fall flat on their faces and fail and need so many search for so many other different things. Y'all, my life is a, oh my goodness. My, my picture would be beside this in the dictionary. Trying to fill the God hole with something else all my life. That's we all are that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I've tried everything and nothing satisfies because it was built for only one thing to satisfy. And, uh, we're forgetful. We forget that from time to time, but I think that also makes it a hard place. So how do you invest in your growth during a challenge? Mm-hmm the answer is always take it to the Lord. Sure. I mean, I think the, um, we have to confess what's going on, why we feel stuck to the Lord. And we have to ask him to help us either wrestle with our stuckness or help us get out of the stuckness, whichever way it is that is his will, whatever it is he's wanting us to do. We need to see him in it. And the only way we can really see him in it is if we can see him in it. And if we can see him in it, we can see him in it. And if is to ask him to reveal himself to us in it so that we can know he's there. Yeah. And I love that you said reveal himself to us because it's not always going to be the answer that we want. Right. But we will know him in a deeper way. You're grinning. Well, my hard answer to this, it's so easy to say it. It's hard to do it, is to praise him in the middle of it. Because when we praise him in the middle of it, we're making the sacrifice of praise. Praise and reminding ourselves of his goodness right there without anything changing and acknowledging who he is and how much he deserves praise and putting him first. And I think that will get the wheels moving when you're stuck. Even if it doesn't change the circumstance, it changes my understanding of the circumstance and my understanding of myself. I will also say accountability, and that can come a lot of different ways. A trusted friend. Because sometimes, here's the thing, and this has been true in my life. Sometimes when you seek somebody out and say, you know what, I'm not afraid to tell you I'm struggling. And here's what the situation is. Sometimes they have a different perspective because they don't have any skin in the game. And they can say, oh, well, look at it this way. Or have you tried this? They can offer. They can offer a perspective that you totally weren't thinking of. And that has happened to me so many times. I'm like, I didn't even think of that. How could I have missed that? But I've missed it. And I think that's where living life in community really is valuable because other people can speak into our situation and say, and sometimes it's saying the hard thing, saying, is that unconfessed sin or are you justifying that? And that is a hard conversation to have. I've had it had with me and I've had it with other people. But it is. I am so grateful. I'm grateful for those people who will call me on the carpet and say, hey, you know, is there something you need to confess here? You know what I just pictured? It's getting warmer outside. What I just pictured is two girlfriends walking, taking a walk together. Yep. Because it's so much easier to have those conversations when you're not looking at each other in the eyeballs. Sure. And you've got some other little things to distract you while you're, you know, we get to work here in this beautiful cove and see deer and turkey every once in a while. And so there's, you know, squirrels running around. Something that can distract you. Distracts you just enough to where you have a moment to think about something. Such a healthy, not just the walking piece of it, but the healthy kind of conversation you can have when you're out for a walk with a girlfriend. Absolutely. So find a girlfriend to go walk with. Yep. Anything else you'd add, TK? I'm going to do what we're talking about because. I'm in the middle of it, girl. Yeah. I mean, and I think it's very valuable. Another one thing that you said that I don't think I've done enough of. I do need to prioritize God in the midst of my battle, not just excuse it because sometimes I'm like, well, that is the thorn in my flesh. Oh, I do. I do. I'm an anxious person. I'm just, that's just kind of who I am. No, I'm going to continue to give it to the Lord and I'm going to continue to put God first. So that balance of knowing that I don't have control over everything, but knowing I need to do what I can do. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Good. I would also say one more thing just before, before we go, make a spiritual timeline for yourself. If you're a believer, the chances that you've gone through something difficult in the past is very great, unless you've been a believer 12 minutes and then at minute two, you still might've had something. Anyway, I think there is value in looking back for the, it's value only valuable. If you look back in order to celebrate, God met me here. God saw me through this. God met me here. And when you can recount those, those things, um, it, it builds your faith. It causes you to stand up a little straighter. It causes you to go, Oh, that's the God I trust in this situation because I saw him do this and this and this and this and this. And when you build a spiritual timeline of your life and you're able to look back and celebrate those things and celebrate his goodness, it is hard to stay in those stuck places because once again, you're drawing your attention to the one who can do something about it. And not wringing your hands because you're the person who can't. Hey, if you've got thoughts or, uh, prayer requests or any way that, we can serve you. You can always email us, girltalkatthelightfm.org. You can also get in touch on the Facebook pages. We love hearing from you. And you know what? We're going to save you a seat next time we gather around these microphones for the next Girl Talk podcast. We'll see you then.