Speaker 1Shut up and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson here, your host of the show. Welcome back to the Being On Stage podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I greatly, greatly appreciate it. You know what I also would appreciate? Just to throw it out there. You don't have to do it, but I'd appreciate it. If you could go into iTunes and leave a 5-star rating on this podcast and a comment for me, it helps other people find the show. This is kind of a two-part episode we have going here. You're checking out part two. Last episode we talked about reflection. And this episode is more about when to move on to that next performance. And I know I'm kind of giving an introduction. I normally dive right in. But I feel it necessary because I want you to also have that chance to go back and listen to that previous episode. So diving in, you know, after a performance, there's different reactions we have. Every time, you know. If you have a really, really great performance, you're going to celebrate. You're going to party. And sometimes you may celebrate for a couple of days. You may also keep it in your head. That performance was great. You know, you're silently celebrating in your head for days or even weeks after your performance. And, you know, that's all well and good. But at some point, you know, you are going to have to step up to the next show and, you know, get back to work. And that's kind of where we're at. You know, on the flip side, let me flip it. You know, you have a show that maybe didn't go so well. And we've all had it happen. It happens. The audience doesn't cheer. It just doesn't go over. Maybe you just don't give everything that you have. Maybe you're lacking somewhere. I'm not, listen, I'm not poking. I'm not picking on you. This is not a, I haven't watched your show or anything. This is just, you know, reality. It happens to everybody. You're not alone in this. We all have shows that when we look back on, it's like, ah, that was terrible. I have them. I have shows I look back on and it's just, wow, why did I even get on stage? That night. But either way, whether you have a great show or a terrible show somewhere in between, no matter what happens at some point, you're going to have to move on from that. And I'm getting blunt, like I'm putting it very bluntly, but, but let's, let's be real. You know, when you have a really, really good show or really, really bad show, it is very, very easy to get stuck in that emotion. Whether you're celebrating your success or whether you're disappointed in your not success. You can get stuck there for sometimes days or weeks. And I've seen performers get so disappointed in a show that they go months without getting back on stage. You know, you also see people that celebrate for so long that they don't put any work into their future shows. And that happened to me. That actually, that definitely happened to me. I worked and worked and worked for this one particular show. And when it was over, I, you know, why work anymore? I did it. You know me. You know me now I'm here and you can get stuck in that celebratory mindset, if you will, of I'm awesome. I did it. What, what I'm like waving my hands around like you can see me. So no matter what happens in those terrible shows, you know, I've had a bad show that, you know, I get stuck in sulking about it and crying about it and feeling sorry for yourself. That can, that can tear your whole career apart. You let one show hang over your head. So how do you do it? How do you push past it? How do you move on? Well, I'll tell you, I found a blog and it's by Sarah Millican, M-I-L-L-I-C-A-N. And she has this rule that she follows and it's, it's 11 o'clock rule. You can look it up. You got to Google it. But the rule is basically at 11 o'clock the next day, no matter what she moves on. She's like, you draw a line under your performance, like a, like a, like a separation and that is done. Whether, whether it was a great show, whether it was a mediocre show, whether it was a okay show, whether it was absolutely terrible and you fell on your face, literally, you draw a line under it. And at 11 a.m. the next day, you move on. Does it have to be 11 a.m.? No. And that's kind of what I, where I'm going with this is either way, that's her rule. My rule is you have to have a point. You have to make that rule for yourself. It doesn't have to be 11 o'clock. I know some people stay up a little later and 11 o'clock is when you're waking up the next day. Um, but it doesn't have to be 11, but you do need to set yourself a rule. I recommend not going more than 24 hours before you're looking at your next show. You know, if you want to do 24 hours, that's fine to celebrate for 24 hours, sulk and cry about it for 24 hours. Uh, but after that point, after you hit that point, you, you pack it up and you, you move on. And that includes your reflection. Now, last episode, you know, I talked about how to reflect on your performance and how to look back and, and grow from it. That includes your initial reflection, all of this within the timeframe that you create for yourself. You're going to have to create it. So if you go on at nine o'clock on a Saturday, then I would say no later than like nine o'clock on Sunday, you're focused on your next show. I mean, what if your next show is the next day? You know, you're so, you're so pumped up about the night before. Maybe you should do it. You shouldn't give it 24 hours in that situation. You know, maybe you should only give it, you know, till 11 o'clock the next day. So you, so you have time to prepare for the next show. There's different scenarios are going to work for different people. You have to, you, that's why I say like, it doesn't have to be 11 o'clock. Uh, if you're not a everyday type of performer, but it can be 11, you know, I can be five o'clock the next day. You can do it with lunchtime. I mean, I recommend at least you got to give yourself some time. You know, you can't be like, well, I went on at nine by midnight. I should be over it. Oh no, no, that is not how it works, but you do have to get over it. You do have to push on and, and move on. Why, why do we have to? Well, let's see, you know, if you're, if you're stuck celebrating how awesome you are, you may not give everything you have in rehearsal. You may not work on the areas that you need to work on to improve, to become even more awesome. And that's going to jeopardize your future career. You know, that's. It's going to jeopardize your next performance and the one after that, and the one after that. And however long you're celebrating your awesomeness, you're jeopardizing every performance while you're still focused on that one that made you flip side. You have a terrible show. Okay. Let's talk about that tunnel, that dark, dark tunnel that you go down. Okay. You, you, you, you watch the video over and over again. You think about how terrible it was. Why should I even try? You go to rehearse. And you're just like, Oh, I'm just not good at this. You start doubting your whole career. And that in itself is tearing yourself down. We, we have to continue to believe in ourselves as performers, no matter what, through thick, thin, good performances, bad performances. Doesn't matter. You got to continue to believe in yourself and believe in your career. If you're going to keep moving forward, that's the first thing. But second thing is you're going to have to draw that line and move on. Friend, you got to get past that. You can't sit there. Dwell on that one performance that wasn't great. Okay. Let's even if it was your first performance, that's a growing opportunity. Nothing more. There's not a terrible performance. It's a growing opportunity. It was a performance. It was an experience that you can learn from and grow from and get better next time and the next time and the next time. But if you continue to dwell and sulk and cry and whine and excuse me about that performance. You're never going to move past it. You're doing that to yourself. You got to move forward. Get past it. Move on. Let's go. Chop, chop. So no matter what, you got to be able to draw that line. So how do these two episodes tie together? So I talked about reflecting and then I talked about moving on and it's kind of opposite. So there are two ways you can do this for yourself and you really have to judge your personality and how you are. OK, so for me, I, I, I have to continue to reflect as I'm as I'm preparing for the next show. I continue to reflect. I do reflect almost immediately within an within an hour of going on stage. I watch my video and I start to kind of look at what I could do well, what I could do differently. After that, I go out. I celebrate with people. When I go to my car to leave, I do watch my video again. On the way home, I think about the performance. I may play the songs again. I think about it when I get home. I watch the show again and then I go to bed the next day. I do continue to reflect. But whether it's a good performance or a bad performance, you got to select a time to stop that style of reflecting and move on to the next show. So what I would do is when I stop reflecting in that way, you're watching the video over and over and over again, in a sense, whether it's good or bad, that's that's just how I did it, whether it was good or bad. I would watch the video at least three times, three or four times before I went to bed after the show and at least twice the next morning. no matter what. But when I drew that line, I actually drew the line probably just about the 24-hour mark, but I performed on a weekly basis. So that's different. So I did it about the 24-hour mark. And when I drew that line and I started focusing on the next performance, I would still go back and watch this video, but not as often, maybe like in another two days or so. So that's one way. You can reflect after the 24-hour or after you draw that line. You can reflect after that, but it's your personality. Is that going to pull you back into that mindset of, man, I'm awesome or, oh my God, I'm terrible. If after you draw that line, you're the style of person that it's best for you to just move on or else you're going to get back in that terrible, terrible mindset. It's happened to me. You go back, you watch the show and you're like, oh my God, I'm so terrible. Why am I even? And you just get put back there or likewise. Oh man, that was awesome. I don't need to do this. You just get put back in that mindset that you had right after the show. Then don't reflect after you draw that line, that move on line. We'll call it the move on line. Most of your reflection should happen before you move on because that's where you're going to really recall most of the performance. And again, I recommend writing these things down. It sucks. It's hard. I didn't do it. I made a mistake. But before you move on, write down some of the things that you could get better on and then draw that line and focus on the next show. Use the things that you've learned. Use the things that you reflect on. Use those good feelings or those bad feelings to motivate and push you to get to your next show. But don't get stuck there. It's over. It's in the past. I say this quite often. I don't know if I say it a lot on the podcast, but I say it to people that I talk to about performing. I say it to people at work. I say it to just random people and performers that I meet. If you're looking behind you, you can't see where you're going. You can't see all the great things that are in front of you. Because remember, your career as a performer is not made with that one performance. It's made with a number of performances that you continue to grow and progress and progress until you become the performer that you dream of being. And then you keep growing and keep progressing because that's that's just how you do it. That's how you that's how you grow. You just keep moving on to the next. I think that would be the easiest way to put it. The way you grow is you just keep moving on to the next. Learn from the past, but grow on, grow on to the next. There we go. Grow on to the next. With that, I'm going to bid you farewell. But before I do, remember to check out the Being On Stage Facebook group. The Being On Stage Facebook group is what it's called. You can get there easily by going to beingonstage.com slash group. I will see you in there every Wednesday. I go live at 1130-ish. And I talk about how things have motivated me as a performer and different ways you can motivate yourself. Actually using a video that I share on Monday, usually a song or a little story or a movie clip or something, something that's motivational or inspirational. And then on Wednesday, I just kind of talk more about it and how it's inspired and motivated me and how you can use it for you. All right. So that's that. Everything's focused on performers, by the way, because performing on stage is my passion. I love it. There's a thrill. Oh, God, I could talk about it all day. Well, you know what? I'm not going to do that. So keep on shining.
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