1100: Stillness and Silence: The Unsung Heros in Managing Chronic Stress and Anxiety

Welcome to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, a relaxing and informative show where we explore anxiety, panic and PTSD, sharing how you can overcome them for life. Aloha, welcome back to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast. I'm your host and coach, Gina Ryan, and I am so happy to be with you again today as together we can consider the many ways to bring your mind and body back to its natural peace and calm. In today's episode, I'm talking about stillness and silence. I think they're like the unsung heroes for managing your chronic stress and anxiety. But in today's busy, busy, fast-paced world, the idea of stillness often feels like an impossible luxury or an outright waste of time. But if you're grappling with chronic stress or anxiety, I think that stillness might be something you want to pay attention to. It might be the missing piece you didn't know that you needed. Stillness isn't really about doing nothing. It's about being fully present in like a peaceful and non-stimulating environment. It's about giving your mind and body the rest that we are desperately craving, that our mind and body are desperately craving. Especially around this time of year, I see this come up even more. It's darker, the days are shorter, the weather is colder, the busyness of the holidays. All of this plays into this craving that you might be having for a peaceful, non-stimulating environment where you can be still. But even if we understand this, sometimes we still resist the stillness. Why would that be? Why would we continue to resist something that we know could be so good for us? Part of it is that we feel like we don't have the time. We're all pressured for time. Even when we have enough time, for some reason, we fill the time. We crowd our calendars with more and more appointments, places to go, people to see things to do. Because modern life glorifies being busy, making us feel guilty for taking a moment to pause. And this really came clear to me today when I had to actually decline a couple of things I was invited to. No, it's not that I didn't want to see these particular people or be with them in these environments or at these activities. But I was feeling that craving for the stillness, for a time out, for some moments where I can pause. And be myself and just let the stillness and the quiet actually using the silence to be a healer for me. To be the saav that my soul is so craving. So first, we don't think we have the time. I could feel that today, like if I had endless hours, maybe I could do more of these things. But I was feeling like I was going to be overwhelmed or overloaded if I were to do them. So I think we don't really have the time that we think we have. And we also feel what limited time we have because the whole modern life glorifies us being busy. The next thing that we can run into is being addicted to distractions. Now, you know, I talk about distraction here a lot because sometimes with anxiety, if your stress is rising, your anxiety is coming up and you're trying to not get into a panic state, you might need to use some distraction to keep you from going down the wormhole. But I'm talking about a different kind of distraction. I'm talking about the addiction to distractions. Things like the constant scrolling, the need for background noise, whether it be something always going on in the background that you are listening to, and the endless to do lists that we have. These all keep us from being alone with ourselves, with our thoughts, being in a space that we can feel uncomfortable yet transformative. We are never entering that space. Like I said, it might be uncomfortable, but it is transformative. And of course, the whole idea that we don't like to be uncomfortable and being still and being silent can bring up some discomfort for many people. But here's why stillness is not just worthy of your time. I think it is essential. It brings about for you a clearer perspective. You know, that is one of the transformative benefits of stillness, a clear perspective, because life can feel overwhelming when we're caught in that loop of negative or anxious thinking. And stillness gives you the opportunity to step back, gain some clarity, and see things for what they truly are. It's like cleaning off a foggy window. You get a better view of your life, of what's going on, and of the possibilities. Another benefit of stillness is connecting with your intuition. Your intuition is always speaking to you. It isn't just there in the silence and the quiet moments. It's always speaking, but it's easily drowned out by noise and distraction. And stillness creates the space for your inner wisdom to actually be heard, helping you make decisions that align with your true self. And I think that sometimes people avoid this also because they don't want to hear the intuition. I don't know if that might be something you've ever thought of, but you might be like, uh-oh, if I really hear it, I might have to what make some changes. Today's episode is sponsored by Babel. Have you got any fun trips coming up? One thing you probably haven't put on your packing list is learning the language. With Babel, you can start speaking a new language in just a few weeks. So whether you're traveling, connecting with family, or just keeping your brain sharp, you'll be ready. Babel's tips and tools for learning are approachable and accessible. It's like having a private tutor in your pocket. For me, I love how Babel uses a personalized review system based on progress. It really helps me remember what I've learned long-term. And it only takes 10 or 15 minutes a day on the mobile app or website. I've chosen to learn Spanish and the real-time feedback and progress triggers make it feel more fun and doable. Not so much like homework. Babel has helped over 16 million people learn a new language with more than 1.6 million five-star ratings. That's a lot of happy learners. So if you've got a trip planned or just dream of connecting more deeply with others, add Babel to your list. I want you to learn another language. So I'm teaming up with Babel to give you 55% off subscriptions, but only for our listeners at babel.com/acp. Get up to 55% off at babel.com/acp spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com/acp. Babel.com/acp. Another benefit of transforming yourself by being in some stillness is reducing your stress levels, because where does stress thrive? It thrives in chaos. And when you intentionally take a pause, you're signaling to your nervous system that it's safe finally to relax. This not only eases your mind, but it also improves your sleep, your immune function, and your overall health. We are all connected. Another thing is enhanced self-awareness, because stillness is like a mirror. It reflects your thoughts, your emotions, and even your physical sensations. And this heightened self-awareness can allow you to better understand and address what your mind and body are telling you. Again, you may be avoiding that on purpose, but I'm telling you, the beauty of actually making the transformation that you will get from stillness and self-awareness and your intuition are amazing. It is worth it. And it is worth the discomfort that you have to go through to get there. And finally, it opens you to new possibilities. When you lift your head above the constant noise of the daily grind, you'll see opportunities that you might have otherwise been missing. It's in the stillness that creativity, solutions, and insights often emerge. So we can get all those benefits. How can we do it? Because like I said, it makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable to think about going into stillness, about going into a state of silence. You don't have to meditate for hours a day or be in a retreat in a monastery to experience stillness. We get this idea that this is something that is only for the special people that have that kind of luxury in life or time or mindset to go and be in a monastery or in a retreat. No, there are lots of things that you can do. So let's explore some of them. Of course, there's meditation because it is a powerful tool for cultivating stillness. Even five minutes of focused breathing can make a difference. It can actually let the glitter in your snow globe begin to settle. And you can use apps if you like. You can use the insight timer, which is free. And I have some meditations on there on insight timer if you want to look those up. And there are lots of different teachers on there and different modalities that you can begin to get acquainted with and listen to. And maybe you need that little bit of guidance in the beginning with your meditation. That's fine. Or maybe you like a nature sound in the background. Or maybe you like the gentle music that they offer in the background. Those are all there. And they can help you transition from having the television or the news on in the background to having five minutes a day where you are shifting into a more peaceful milieu. The next thing that you might want to look at is disconnecting from devices. Being able to put your phone on airplane mode or turning off the TV and just sit with yourself. I always say this. Look out the window. Observe your surroundings. Watch the trees move in the wind or the birds flying. Or focus on your breath. There can be no agenda. You just can just be for five minutes. After you are disconnected with the phone off and not near you. Just be. Another one would be to actually spend some time in nature. Get outside. And this is really good because nature has a unique way of grounding us. Take a walk in the park. Sit by a lake. If you are near a forest, go out into the forest. And if not, just step outside and feel the sun on your face. Look up at the clouds. Let the natural world remind you of the beauty there is in simplicity. Another thing you can do is to practice mindfulness. It's something we talk about here all the time. And mindfulness doesn't require you to be anywhere special. You don't need an app. You don't need a quiet room. You don't need a yoga mat. You can practice it while washing the dishes. You can practice it while commuting or even in the middle of a busy day. Just bring your full attention to the present moment and let go of any judgment. That's mindfulness and it will change you. You also could create micro moments of stillness. Now I love this idea and I practice doing this with mindfulness and stillness. Bringing it into your daily life. You don't need hours to benefit from stillness. A few minutes here and there can be transformative. And what this means is to do little things like pause in between tasks. Like take a moment before responding to a message. Or simply close your eyes and breathe for 60 seconds while you're at your computer. Take these little micro moments of stillness and let them work on you. If stillness feels unnatural or even uncomfortable at first, you're not alone. That's a common thing that I hear. Start small and build from there. Maybe you can begin with one minute of intentional stillness and gradually increase the time as it becomes part of your routine. Remember feeling like you don't have time for stillness is a clear sign that you need it the most. Stillness is a real gift that you will give to yourself. It's like a reset button in a world that rarely pauses. We used to have days during the week that we shut down and did something different. We had Sundays where a lot of shops were closed. When I was a kid, there were blue laws. Many shops were closed. You couldn't buy certain things on Sundays. People ate different meals and at different times on Sundays. But we don't really have that anymore. So you have to give yourself this gift and integrate this stillness into your life. You can schedule time for stillness. You could do a little bit today because you've heard me talk about it, even if it's just for two minutes. Your mind and body will thank you in ways that you cannot imagine. Remember, if you feel like you don't have time for stillness, that is a sign that you need it the most. Now, I want to go back just for a few minutes here to the meditation piece. Because I want to suggest the benefits of sitting in meditation in silence versus always using a guided meditation or app kind of idea. Because you will build a deeper connection with yourself. Now, guided meditation maps are awesome. Guided meditations are awesome. I put them on here for you to be able to use and begin to feel that you can get quiet for those moments. And they are an incredible starting point for so many people. They provide structure, the soothing voices and clear instructions, making the practice feel approachable and achievable. However, practicing meditation in silence offers unique benefits that deepen your connection to yourself and the present moment. So, here's why I think that silent meditation deserves a place in your mindfulness toolkit, in your place of silence and stillness. Guided meditations are like having a teacher by your side, but silent meditation teaches you to be your own guide. Without external cues, you develop the skills to sit with your thoughts, navigate your inner world and manage distractions on your own. This builds self-reliance and a deeper sense of trust in your ability to handle challenges. In life, you won't always have an external guidance or a guide during moments of stress or anxiety. And practicing silent meditation equips you to self-soothe and find calm without needing external tools. Guided meditations often involve a narrator leading you through specific techniques, such as my body scan or visualizations. While helpful, this guidance can also act as a subtle distraction. Now, we're beginning to split hairs here, but it's important. Silent meditation eliminates external input, and it allows you to fully tune into your breath, your body sensations, and the flow of your thoughts without interruption. Silent meditation encourages a raw, unfiltered awareness of the present moment. And this deeper connection helps you to recognize the patterns in your thoughts and emotions, fostering greater self-awareness over time. And meditation apps often follow a one-size-fits-all approach, which might not always align with your needs. In silence, you can listen to your intuition and let your meditation unfold organically, whether it's focusing on your breath, observing your thoughts, or simply sitting in stillness. You're free to follow whatever feels right for you in the moment. Silent meditation creates space for authenticity. You're not adhering to someone else's script, which makes the practice feel more personal and meaningful. Guided apps can sometimes create a sense of reliance, and I see this a lot. You might feel like you can't meditate without them. Silent meditation helps you to break this dependency, reminding you that the tools you need for mindfulness are already within you. By practicing meditation in silence, you are reinforcing the idea that peace and clarity come from within, not from an external source. This mindset can be empowering, especially during moments of stress when you don't have access to your usual tools or distractions. Guided meditations, while relaxing, can introduce additional layers of stimulation. There are voices, music, or even prompts to visualize certain scenes. Silent meditation strips away all external noise, offering a really rare opportunity to experience true stillness. Pure stillness allows you to connect with the subtleties of your inner experience, such as the rhythm of your breath or the faint sensations of your body. It's a chance to fully embrace simplicity and quiet, which can be deeply restorative. Practicing meditation in silence doesn't mean you should abandon guided meditations, entirely. Each has its place and its purpose. So use guided meditation apps when you're learning a new technique, when you need help staying focused, or when you want to address specific challenges like sleep or anxiety. And practice silent meditation when you're seeking deeper self-awareness, independence, or a more personal and unstructured experience. If you're used to guided meditation, transitioning to silence can feel a little bit intimidating, and you might be thinking that right now. So here's how you can ease into it. I want you to start small. Begin with just one or two minutes of silence at the end of your guided session. Gradually extend this time as you grow more and more comfortable with it. You can set an intention before starting. Decide on a simple focus, such as your breath or a mantra, or the sensations in your body. This will give your mind a gentle anchor. An anchor for your time in silent meditation could be a wonderful bridge. Silent meditation isn't about achieving total stillness or an empty mind. It's about observing what arises in your mind without judgment. So create a supportive environment. Choose a quiet, comfortable space where you won't be interrupted. And finally, be patient. It's normal for your mind to wander. It's what the mind does. With practice, you'll find it easier to be with that mind and to sit with silence. Incorporating both silent and guided meditation into your routine allows you to enjoy the best of both worlds. Together, they provide a balanced approach to mindfulness, one that is rooted in both external guidance and internal discovery. I hope today's show has been helpful for you, and I look forward to you finding more stillness. And now for today's quote. "In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside you." And that's from Deepak Chopra. I'll be back in a few more days with another podcast until then be well and aloha. Thanks so much for joining us for today's episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast. Find more information at theanxietycoachespodcast.com