Stewart Copeland: Sting Would Suck At Standup & Dad’s CIA Job

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I'll fill you in later, but Stuart Copeland is joining me, and Stuart has a spoken word tour, and I don't have the bio in front of me because of all the craziness, and we try to get it printed out at the hotel, and you know how it goes. But we'll fill you in all the details. But of course, you know Stuart from the police and many other endeavors as well, soundtracks for movies and everything else. Good to see you, Stuart. Hey, great to see you, Adam. Long time. I think we go back to when you had the man show. When we were men. I know. I mean, I look at the, and sorry for any ambient sound you may hear here. We were told no one was coming into this facility before this, but now the place is packed, and they're doing a whole bunch of stage announcements and everything. So we'll muddle through this. But yeah, the police were a revolutionary band in my world. They were sort of new wave before everyone else got there. I mean, I can remember hearing Roxanne early when I was like in the ninth grade or something and thinking that is a different song than any other song I've ever heard before. Did you guys know, you were on to something different? And what's the plan to do something different? No, the plan was to completely do something the same. Our brief was to be a punk band because that's the only work available in those days. It was the end of the the prog rock era, and I was in a big prog rock band called Curved Air, but we could just see that the whole scene was losing altitude. And the only thing going on was this new punk scene in London. And so we were a fake punk band when we started. Until Andy joined and Sting started writing actual songs. And then we kind of morphed into an not punk band. And I guess Roxanne was a step away from our origins. Yeah, but you know, one of my favorite police songs, So Lonely is kind of a punk song. Yeah, well, the loud choruses and quiet verses, I don't think we invented that format. I think we just picked it up. It had been forgotten for a while. In a way, I guess you are sort of like the pretenders in that you're not from England, but it's an English band. You know, Chrissie Hines from, I don't know, Ohio. But she's in an English band, you know, is that kind of like you? What I would also yeah, I would also include in that club. I would include Jimi Hendrix, who busted out in England. That's where he came from. Although he is from Seattle, I think, fully American. But a lot of Americans bust out in England. Yeah, I guess you had to back then. I don't know, maybe I'm nostalgic. But to me, those days with the early Elvis Costello and Graham Parker and Joe Jackson's, you know, Look Sharp and I'm the Man, those early late 70s, early 80s albums. I don't know, there was something different, a little magical about those. I mean, I would include the pretenders and the police in that group as well. Well, you know, people, when they hear me speak nowadays, I can see that first look of disappointment in their eyes. It's sort of like they meet Ringo Starr and he's got a, you know, a Brooklyn accent. I'm not supposed to be American, but I am, God damn it. And living in England for 20 years, I had to hold on to my American accent. Yeah, but you were born abroad. Your dad had a crazy kind of. Actually, no. What you were about to say, I would say is probably true. But no, I was actually born in Alexandria, Virginia, and went to Cairo, Egypt when I was two months old. But actually, I was born in the United States of America. And your dad's job was what? Oh, skullduggery in the Middle East. Imposing dictators. Actually imposing dictators, despots, and dickheads. It was all about keeping the oil flowing from the Middle East to our factories rather than north to the evil empire of the Soviet Union. And so they had to sustain the system of stability, even though he might not have liked these characters that they were propping up. But as he used to say, they may be sons of bitches, but they're our sons of bitches. Well, I guess as you travel through this world, you really realize everything is a kind of a lesser of two evils or a little bit of a devil you know. Absolutely. I mean, no one would. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm a little more optimistic than you, Adam. Go. who you are outside of the family because you're always who you are inside of the family but outside of the family you can get confirmed and if a guy like Buddy Rich does it that that's an amazing experience and story and I'm always grateful that that's all too true it's so true you know being famous is great except for it never works in front of my mother-in-law the guy comes up says oh Mr Copeland I love your work I love your work just as she's turning away to do something and as she turns back whoever it is is gone you know this is one of the frustrations I've had that with my kids uh many times in a Home Depot well the kids are the hardest to impress of all yeah well the only thing that impresses the kids and especially the daughters is if they're friends dads or fans so it's kind of interesting the wiring between men and women my daughter didn't care but if one of her friends dad's cared about me then she did care which is a very feminine trade so you're doing a spoken word tour and I know I think you're coming up with a Rialto in Tucson or I was just at the Rialto in Tucson a beautiful theater you're gonna enjoy it uh cool and spoken word is kind of interesting because you know I know others who have done it but I haven't heard about the format in a while of spoken words so tell us sort of about how you structured your show it turns out I never expected this never thought in a million years that I'd be doing this but it turns out that it's like stand-up comedy with one big difference I'm sitting down uh in an armchair and I discovered I never knew this uh that you could go out there I don't need no bass player no guitarist no amps no crew no songs no nothing just give me a chair and a light bulb and I'll hold a room for two hours well uh and that that it introduced me to this art form that I have a lot of appreciation for which stand-up comedy I've always admired those guys who can walk out on stage with nothing but a microphone naked uh and I I've admired that and I'm I aspire to that level where I don't even need an armchair well you know take this in the spirit in which it's intended you are a great talker for a drummer drumming is not a normal you know you're you're in the back making your noise with your hands you know not not your not your mouth normally and and and life is sort of self-selecting you know I I've noticed like when I go to the vintage car races I can always tell a guy's personality by which car he chooses to drive certain cars attract certain personalities you know and so if you're attracted to being a drummer you're usually sort of in the back and you'll let your hands do your talking but you are an exceptional order for somebody who's in the back behind the drum kit have you always been that way well yeah uh no I was a shy diminutive kid uh which is probably why as soon as I started banging on drums I became a very loud kid uh chest hair uh uh as soon as you start banging on those drums um no I've always been a little talkative I mean back in the band days uh that my two buddies would shut me up because I talk too much um but uh the entertaining an audience with it looking for it's all about the gags it's all about the laughs I'm I've become a horror for gags and laughter uh it is a drug you know when you're playing a song you've got to wait three whole minutes before you get your applause but if you're if you're doing the kind of a show like this the talking show it's just rolling one gag on top of another and you can keep the room lit it's a great feeling I really enjoy doing it it's it's like also the other thing is that the physicality isn't a problem I could go run a marathon that day I don't have to conserve calories because I know I need them on stage to bang drums I don't need to worry about what I eat or any damn thing just pull back the curtain I'll walk out there and uh have some fun with the room yeah I gotta apologize for the ambient the ambient sound I could hear everything you said by the way but they're kidding see I was told we're gonna have a room to set up in here and we're out on the floor of this place but so hopefully hopefully this will work I'm gonna look behind me and see what's going on it looks good I'm gonna I'm gonna speak a little later tonight so I gotta get my together hey look Adam give me a hat I'll get you a mega hat so um you know it's kind of interesting most most everything turns into stand-up if you're on stage long enough holding a microphone long enough and it's just a human condition so even doing a eulogy someone will tell a joke or a funny story about the deceased and they'll get a reaction and it kind of turns into it and what I've noticed is a lot of a lot of spoken words sort of turns into a version of stand-up it's a sort of sit down hopefully yeah but the good here's the good news if you go up as a stand-up you go I am a stand-up and there's a certain expectation level and there's a certain rhythm and a certain cadence if you go up there and you go it's an evening with Stuart Copeland every joke is gratis it's all free it's all it's all found it's all it's all a plus because because if you go you go stand up comedy with Stuart Copeland the people will stand there and go where are all the jokes no come on make me laugh make me laugh and if they want to hear your war stories but they happen to be a punch line yes much better we'll find new punch lines every show and by the end of the tour you'll have many more punch lines in there than you started with the beginning of the show is my that's my experience that is absolutely true in fact my show is I try it's supposed to be 245 minute sets but I never come off stage in shorter than an hour and I keep cutting material and I come off stage the next night I haven't cut whole I cut the whole polo story out played polo with you know Prince Charles take out that and what I come off stage and it's still just over an hour I don't know how it feels like you say you come up with new gags and then I've got a little break now going back out in uh October November I'm gonna have to look at the tape to remember all those guys that I'm so proud of having having uh well also when you get laughs it adds a lot of time to the show if you're getting a laugh every 90 seconds or two minutes what do you know it really takes uh 45 minutes and stretches it out to an hour well what is this story yeah well also also I do like I do like to play with the audience as well I encourage cat calls uh verbal of the any damn thing I like to play with it because I'm telling more or less the same stories so it's great to have folks shout stuff out and break it up a little bit and I love you know you don't need to be intimidated by a member of the audience shouting stuff because you've got a six zillion watt PA uh that gives you kind of an advantage so I actually enjoy back and forth with the audience I don't know I don't really know Andy Summer's personality or Sting's personality I I don't feel like I know who they who they are as as sort of dudes how does everyone get along these days and like how would you describe them as just individuals well uh sting would suck at this uh he's not like a storyteller until he goes into the quiet of his room and puts it a very complex idea into seven words that rhyme but he's real good at it quick conversation rep RT not his thing Andy would be a blast he's real good at storytelling is pretty good comedian and he would be a blast and is everyone on good terms these days oh yeah I yeah yeah I mean as long as we don't have to play together we get along great is it is is it tough to play together because everyone's sort of a perfectionist or yeah you hear in the middle of a song what someone did wrong or whatever it is and it gets under your skin or how's that work it's uh it's actually pretty simple we realized after having been through you know as as all your listeners are probably aware we were very loving uh blissful band environment not uh but um the problem was not what everyone thought it was it's not what we thought it was we didn't realize until the towards the end of our big reunion tour we make music for different reasons we're on different missions um I'm out there to bang I like it's a physical exercise I want to be Mitch Mitchell with Jimi Hendrix playing plant banging on my drums that's what I'm here for somebody else who wrote a song might conceive have the notion that we're all there to serve his song and indeed the song is it's a very valuable thing and we get nowhere without great songs But for me, the song is there to serve the band rather than the other way around. And that is a conflict within the band right there. I'm there to play drums and burn down the house. Somebody else in the band wants to tell a story or express a deep political concept or whatever. I don't care. I'm banging shit here. And so I will gladly serve the music because I'm totally honed in on the music. But whatever the subject of the song is, not my problem. I'm at the back of the stage banging stuff. So it's not that we're trying to smother each other or jealous of each other or anything like that. Certainly nobody fucks up in the police, that's for sure. We don't let that happen. It's just that we're on different and clashing missions. And when we were young and codependent, that was great contrast. And that's how we made all those cool records. In spite of being on different missions, that contrast was great when we were young. But now we're grown up. We enjoy our lives. We don't have to put up with that anymore. Yeah, I never really thought about everyone being in the same band but sort of coming at it from different positions. But, you know, there's a version of that with comedy as well. And I guess in every. In every art, I suppose in every art, there's a version of coming at it from a different perspective. Design, architecture, comedy, drama, like, whatever that is. So there will be. Is there any chance there's ever another police show for us, ever? I don't think so. I mean, we really nailed it on the reunion tour. By the end of it, we were counting down the hours that we would have to spend on each stage as we were hugging and laughing and loving. You know, we get along so great. Nobody wants to go back to that place where we have to, you know, where old Stingo has to put up with World War III over his left shoulder while he's trying to say something important. And I don't have my bass player turning around and glowering at me because I hit a drum. We don't need that. By the way, I'm still enjoying playing those songs when I finished doing this talking stuff. I'm going back out with orchestras across the land playing Roxanne, Message in a Bottle, Can't Stand Losing You and so on. But the big orchestral arrangements. So I'm not done with those songs. Good question. Are you doing much scoring these days? I know you've scored quite a few films and productions in your life. Not anymore. No, I retired. I escaped from Hollywood. But I do something even worse. I write opera. Oh, really? How do you write opera? Okay, that shuts. That's a conversation. That's a conversation stopper right there. But I've written seven operas now. I'm writing another one right now. It's the most fun a composer can have with your clothes on. Yeah, tell us how that would work. And then, obviously, there's operas and then there's like rock operas. You know, Quadrophenia and Tommy and all that kind of stuff we've heard about. Well, the same thing with different instruments. Telling a story and cranking up the emotional impact of a story. Kind of a story like in Tommy with music or in Puccini or Verdi or Wagner. It's a way of telling a story with the music. Because the music has, as I learned this 20 years before the mass, as a hired gun, flinty-eyed, four-hire film composer, I learned that music tells a story. Music can negate what you see on the screen. It can amplify things that you didn't notice. Music is a really powerful storyteller. In fact, on the screen, you see something that's beautiful. Everything, all the information you're getting is beautiful. But the music, I put a shit cord on it and you know that it's all bad. You believe my music rather than your lying eyes. So that's why I'm in opera because I don't have to deal with, you know, the rat kingdom. That's Disney to you. And I can do music storytelling without Hollywood. The pay sucks, of course, but it's much more fun. What is the practical aspect? If you were a musical outlet for a modern-day opera, where would. Did you say practical? Are you. Not so much. No, people do opera because it's cool and fun. Nobody gets rich. But that's not my mission right now. The mission right now is to do things that are fun and cool and interesting. When you put it up on its feet, where does it end up? Like, ultimately, where would we perform it? Where could we see it? Okay, my last. Well, I've played with the Royal Opera. The Royal Opera in London ended up at Covent Garden. I've played with the Deutsch National Theater ending up in Weimar in the premier opera house in the land. My last opera went up in Italy, which is. Italy is like the Nashville of opera composing, of opera. Because every man, woman, and child in Italy knows from opera. So to get a hit opera in Italy is a very big deal, which I did. Actually, you mentioned Chrissy Hines. She wrote a couple songs for that one. It's called The Witch's Seed. She herself hates opera. I'll tell you a little short story. This opera was commissioned by an Italian opera company. It's up in the Italian Alps in northern Italy. And they wanted me to commemorate the dark time of the witches, the witch hunts. And they had these women that tell their story and how they were falsely accused and any excuse for the guys to get their stuff. They call them a witch, burn them at the stake, and take their stuff. And I figured, well, it's a woman's story. Maybe I ought to go talk to a woman. So I called up Chrissy, and she says, Witches? Fantastic! I love witches! It's going to be great! We can have flames coming out of their tits! And I had to go, Chrissy, Chrissy, if they have flames coming out of their tits, it would rather suggest that they're guilty as charged! And then I'm thinking, why is that a problem? This is a much better. She said, right there, just right there, she improved the opera 500%. And then, okay, she starts sending me pages and pages of lyrics, some of which involve, you know, the witches are now milking the farm boys. I guess I better go talk to the Italians. Anyhow, I talked them into it, and it was a big hit. It played in different cities. It played up in the mountains, and it played in Milan. And to have a hit opera in Italy is a very big deal. You know, I don't know a lot about opera, although I do know. Most people don't. I do know ELO has a song about opera, a pop song that you should probably listen to. Jeff Lynne, probably late 70s. I'm trying to. I'll think of the name of it for a second. I'll ask him about that. He's a chuckle buddy over here. Jeff Lynne, I like to think of as a genius. Sonic sort of genius. I had a really good interview with him once, and I found it very interesting. But Rock Aria. Rock Aria is the name of the song. It's a fun song. It's very ELO. It has an opera singer in it, and it's about a woman who loves opera. But it's very ELO sounding. It's very pop, progressive, whatever. Italy is interesting for me because I watch all these car shows, and I see these Lamborghinis and these Ferraris and Pino Farina design cars and Bizzarini cars and stuff, and I realize they all come from Italy. All the most beautiful automobile examples come from Italy, like mid-60s, late 60s. Italy is cool. Italy is way, way cool. There's something artistically going on there that's different. They're Italians. That's it. They got a lot. It must be the olive oil. I don't know, but I love Italy. I try and go back there every summer. But you know what? I used to drive a Cherokee. I'm not a car guy, but I was a Cherokee guy forever. And then when Fiat bought Cherokee, I was able to brag, my Jeep is now an Italian sports car. Oh, they brought Chrysler, yes. But recently, I got an electric car, an electric Porsche, and that's all electric. And man, what they don't. I always thought. I always thought electric car was for like, you know, prissy kind of like tree huggers or something like that. You can't be a man in an electric vehicle. But man, you step on the gas, I will leave your Lamborghini in my dust. The torque on those things, I never had any idea. I thought I was being environmentally friendly. I don't know why. It's a cool car. But what I didn't expect, you step on the gas and that electric thing, I can't go back to it. My wife's still in a Mercedes. It sounds like an old Sherman tank. No, you're right. You get hooked on instant torque. And electric cars are instant torque. And there is like a little bit of a problem, which is I'll see a guy behind me in a Tesla on the freeway. And at some point, he makes a move because he has the instant torque. Like he literally tries to squeeze into a spot and make a move that you wouldn't do with an old school car because an old school car is not going to do that. An old school car, there's lag. It goes, it's got a drop of gear. Yeah. Do you really want me to go faster now? Yes. You know, it's sort of like you hit the gas and the rest of the freeway was standing still. There is one drawback. One drawback, which is that this feels you step on the gas and that's a muscle car, right? Only thing is, it sounds like a golf cart. This is the most testosterone-packed golf cart I've ever seen. I think there's going to be a phenomenon between electric cars and everyone walking with earbuds where we're going to get a lot more people run over because you cannot hear those electric cars. And even if you could hear them, you got your earbuds in and you're walking the dog. And I sometimes turn around and the guy's just right behind me on the side street and it's Tesla. I just got a Tesla as well. And I agree, electric car, it's actually more of a muscle car than a muscle car because of how much. How much quicker it is, especially like zero to 60 instant torque. I'm with you 100%. And you're talking to a guy who races old vintage cars. So I don't think, you know, I think there's certain tropes. Like there's a famous book called Men Don't Eat Quiche or something like that. Quiche is nothing but ham and eggs on a pie tin. There's nothing more manly than quiche. It's like cheese, ham, eggs, and pie crust. It's a. It's a man's pie is what it is. I reject it. Hey, look, you know, I got seven kids. I can wear pink hot pants and, you know, nobody's going to doubt my gender. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. You know that. They offer friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your car. Ah, I got race cars. Race cars are fun. They're high performance, but they're simple. So you can work on a lot of the stuff yourself. And that's why I always go to O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock, either in store or online. So you never have to worry if you're in a jam. Their team can test your battery for free in or out of the car. So if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. And if you need windshield wipers replaced, brake light fixed, or a quick service, they've got you. But you're covered as well. I've come in there scrambling before and been astonished at how friendly and helpful everyone is there. And they know their stuff. They even held the door for me last time I was at the one in Glendale. The professional parts people, O'Reilly Auto Parts, are your one-stop shop for all things auto, do-it-yourself, and you can find what you need either in-store or online. It's O'Reilly, right, Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit them. O'ReillyAuto.com slash Adam. That's O'ReillyAuto.com slash Adam. Hello and welcome to PlutoFo. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Mean Girls. Shut up. Titanic. And so much more. For showtimes, press. Nothing. They're free. 24-7. That is so fetch. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Being uninsured. Quote today. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company & Affiliates. Number one rating based on 2024 filings with State Departments of Insurance. So are you living in L.A.? You're staying in L.A.? Yeah, I live here now. I'm from California now. I grew up all over the world, but I've settled here now, and now I'm from California. What was the Middle East like back when you were with your dad doing what he was doing versus now? Is there a big difference? Yeah, it was great. It was really great. Beirut was described as the Paris of the Middle East. Then it was described as the Sarajevo of the Middle East. Now it's just war-torn Beirut. But the Lebanese are amazingly resilient people. You know, after the Civil War, I visited, and you would see a whole street of blown-up stores. One store has glass in the window, and behind that glass, the latest Dior fashions. Really? Yes. The Lebanese got class. Wow. And so you've lived all over the world. What got you to London early in the music scene? What brought you there? Well, my dad's best buddy turned out to be a Soviet double agent named Kim Philby, a famous British MI5 guy. And the Copelands and the Philbys were two parallel families with matching kids, and we used to go and play. We used to play Crusader Castles. And one day, his best chuckle buddy disappears and ends up in Moscow and was a double agent. Well, that fucked everything up. And so he had to get his family out of Dodge, which by that time was just me, because Miles had gone off to college in Birmingham. Lenny had gone off to Vassar. Ian had run away to Vietnam, leaving me. And I was shipped over to London. This was about 1968 kind of thing. And actually, coming from. From what was called the Third World then to London, first thing I had to do was figure out, well, you can't take a piss on the streets anywhere in London. What's the matter with these people? So uptight. What is. Did you start, you know, music. Drummers are visceral, and it probably shows up early. Mike, this part. Yeah. Yeah, I need. I need. I'm doing a time thing here. That's what I'm doing. I don't know how much time you. Oh, I didn't know what time it is. Sorry. So, musicians, like drummers, you know, like when I interviewed Tommy Lee once, and he said when he was six, he was just banging on pots and pants. You know, that's. Yeah, me too. Is that where it started with you? No, I don't. Huh. All right. So, tell me about, like, was it just in you? Did anyone expose you? Did you do it, or was it always just kind of there? It's kind of there, and there's nothing much you can do about it. If you have that gene, you got to bang stuff. I was that kid in class, banging on his knees, tapping my feet, probably like Tommy. And I picked up all the other instruments, too, guitar, bass, and drums. But drums was really the one. I was a diminutive kid. Last of four kids, the youngest, late bloomer. But as soon as I started banging on those drums, I became an 800-pound silverback motherfucker swinging through the trees. And besides that, Janet McRoberts was impressed. Okay, this is what I'm going to do for a living. And did your. I was 12, and Janet McRoberts was 15. Oh, my God. That was such a deal back then. God. Was your dad and mom, or family, were they supportive of it? Oh, yeah. My mother. You know, she. Actually, my dad raised me on white big band jazz, which is why I don't do it. Actually, I have to clarify. I like to take the piss out of jazz. But one thing I have to be clear about is I love jazz fans. Jazz listeners are the best audience because they pay good money to hear you play your cool stuff. You know? And my favorite kind of jazz. In fact, the only kind of jazz I really like is when I'm playing it, or Stanley Clark. But, you know, so my father raised me on jazz. But meanwhile, my mother was. I was listening to Stravinsky, Debussy, Ravel, which is 20th century classical music. That stuck. That, you know, that's why I do orchestral music now. It was pretty much my mother's influence, and she never said a word about it. She just played it, and I heard it. So, your dad, even though it seems like his background was a little different than, you know, traditional. Your dad had a very untraditional background, but he also had that jazz background. And. Or the love of jazz. And so, was it clear that this was going to work at a fairly young age for you? Like 16, 18? No. I never thought I'd actually do it for a living. You know, and when I was in college, I started a magazine. My brother Miles started a music empire. And I roadied for bands, and I did everything in the business. And then one day. It just. The music part just kept calling me back. And one day, I found myself actually in the band instead of tour managing the band. And I'd roadied. You know, I roadied for Wishbone Ash. Wow, you've been around. That's. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got them Grammys and other bullshit, man. But, hey, I roadied for Wishbone Ash. Well, I don't want to brag, but I did set up all those candles when you guys shot that video at A&M Records on the soundstage. Get out of here. And I remember. And that son of a bitch knocked them all down. That Dan Sting knocked them all down. It was a fire hazard. It was literally. I remember very well. I was working for A&M Records painting. I wasn't doing anything there other than painting their cyclorama. And by the way, for your listeners, this is happening in the Charlie Chaplin studio. At A&M Records. And I showed up one day to paint because I just painted that big cyclorama. And I was told, oh, they're going to do. I think it was wrapped around your finger. So I was told, we're doing a police video and instead of painting, we have a bunch of six-foot long dowels and we're going to put them in Christmas tree stands. Those kind of little kits where you would screw, thumb screw for a little Christmas tree. We'll put them all together. We'll put them all in a Christmas tree stand and we'll paint them flat black and we'll put these candles on top of them. And so today, you're just going to be putting together these Christmas tree stands and spray painting these dowels black and then you're going to put it on there and then we're going to put a candle on it and then Sting is going to walk through it looking very serious and knock them over. And that's what I did. So that's kind of insane that I was there. And that's why we're setting up that shoot for probably one of the police's most, I don't know, popular videos. Yeah, that's probably our second most popular. Every Breath You Take was the big one. But that was a pretty big tune. Not my favorite song, by the way. But I had to do my shoot first because I had a flight to catch. And so I missed the part where Sting did his part and he knocked all the candles down. But I saw the result. And that was a pretty good video. He's pretty good at that stuff. Well, I mean, Sting looks the part. He sounds the part. Yeah, man. I mean. See that big house I live in? That's how good he looks the part. Yeah, you know, so it's kind of weird to sort of go, well, this guy's head's strong. He does it his way. He's got ideas. We don't have the same ideas. But on the other hand, all those ideas are making me rich. So, you know, it's an interesting. It's an interesting place to be in as a young person, right? Yeah, yeah. I didn't really see it. That is absolutely true. But I didn't see it that way when I was a young hothead. I see it now. At the time, it was just great music. He'd come in with a great song. We'd play that. Let's play that. You know, because it started out with all my songs. My crap, fake punk songs, which are basically just bass lines with yelling. And when Andy joined, the lid opened and out came the monster. How did something like Roxanne begin? How does the process work for a song like that? Well, that particular song began in the Red Light District in Paris when he was beguiled by some hooker he saw on the street and thought, well, there's probably a real person in there. And so he wrote that song about such a person. That was when we were punking out. In Paris, we were hanging out with Gen X, which was Billy Idol's band. And the rest of us all were carousing around Paris while Stingo was walking lonely as a cloud. And I guess had this dalliance with a prostitute there. Or didn't. Who knows? Anyhow, a great song came out of it and he wrote it as a bossa nova. Brings it into the police band room where we fucked it all up. What was the. How complete was it? Like, it's got so many kind of layers to it. Oh, it was complete. Well, the song, as distinct from the arrangement and the recording and the performance, was complete. The melody, the lyric, the chords were done. How they shall be done, I mean, it was. And we turned it into the Roxanne that you're familiar with. That's what bands do to songs. And in those early days when it was all. We were all mutually codependent, we could. We could do that. And then in later years when a proven track record made the material a little bit less malleable, that's when it started to feel like we're playing sessions here. And it became more difficult. Yeah, so I've kind of experienced that as well. 'Cause I had a partner, Jimmy Kimmel, who became very successful, was a very successful guy. And, you know, as people get more successful, they get a little less malleable in terms of like, "Well, there's your opinion, "there's my opinion." They get a little more set in their ways. And it's based on success. You know? Well, I'm sure I can put money on the fact that you've heard like, "Hey, look, I know funny." Well, you know, it's. I'm telling you, because I'm an expert. I know what's funny. It's kind of interesting in that Jimmy knows. He would always say I'm the funniest guy he knows. So it wasn't a like, "I know funny more than you know funny." It wasn't that. It was just we're having a lot of success. I'm having a lot of success. Whatever the stuff I do works. And I'm no, you know, we're no longer gonna turn this into a vote. It's not a democracy. It's a theocracy now. Like, I'm just gonna do this. And I'm not gonna do what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna prevent you from doing what you wanna do. But, you know, it always starts off as, you know, you got three people and it's 33%, 33%, 33%. And at some point the percentages start to shift over to the person who's bringing in the hit songs or coming up with the hit TV shows or whatever. And it's no longer everyone has a vote. Someone has two votes. And you have one vote. And then it turns into something different than it started. Well, I had one big advantage which saved me from that fate. Because, of course, as Stingo had his musicality confirmed by writing hit after hit, and the guy does know how to write a hit. And not only that, he knows how to arrange it too. But what saved me was a combination of my laziness and his impatience. We would do, you know, the last three albums, the drums were recorded about 20 minutes after I heard the song for the first time. - Wow. - 'Cause he would only reveal it, he would reveal his songs on an as-needed basis. So as long as it takes for Andy to learn the chords, that's how long I got to figure out what rhythm I'm gonna do. And okay, Andy, you got it? Okay, let's do a take. And I'd go and we'd do one take or maybe another take. And they'd say, great, great, that's fine. Sir, that's great. Great, sure. 'Cause they're all in a hurry because they wanna do their overdubs. That's the fun part for the guitars and everything else. They wanna do their overdubs. In olden times, you needed to do the drums first. So I'd get the drums. Okay, Stuart, it's fine, it's fine. Go hit the pool. Now we can do our thing. And so that impatience, and I was, you know, about the second or third take. So all those police records, the drums you hear on them are 100% spontaneous. That's what came up with in those particular, three minutes of all eternity. In fact, the next take and the previous take were completely different. And so I think, you know, eventually we would rehearse and go out on tour and play these songs night after night. And I would figure out exactly how to get from the chorus back down to the verse, you know? Whereas when we made the record, I was just, you know, improvising and I think, wow, I wish we could record that again now that I know how to, but you know what? The records kind of didn't suck. And so I think that, that spontaneity, that feeling of exploration, a couple of things. First of all, it gives it an X factor. Second of all, it got the band off my back. - Yeah. I think kind of the phenomenon you're talking about is, and I think, and you would experience this when you're doing spoken word as well. So it's as if they went out and recorded your first night of spoken word and they said, we're going to make an album out of this and we're going to record the first night, just like, if they recorded a first night of doing standup, by the time you get to the end of the tour, you've added so much, found so much, done so much nuance and you go, oh, it's so much better now. And then they go, we're going with the tape we took on the first night. And you go, don't use that tape. Use all the new things I've found on how much better it is. - But you know what, Adam? I suspect I haven't heard your version of that, but I know exactly what you're talking about, but I'll, I'll bet you that first tape from the first night or two has an X factor all of its own. - Yeah, no, I. - That is, that is, that is equal to the finally honed versions that you ended up with at the end of the tour. - Well, I mean, you take a listen to a song like so lonely and the drum ring is so visceral and it, you know, like it almost feels like a reaction to something. It feels like you don't want, I don't want to hear the 100th version of that drumming i want to hear the instinctual sort of early first version of it because it sounds so visceral for lack of a better term well that was actually a different environment that was like i think our first album and our first album we had played the songs we knew the songs um and we've been playing them all over and then we went into the studio and record recorded them knowing how the song goes but that time the constraint was not ignorance the constraint was money we only had like we got to record three songs today and rama lama blama slama and that's where the energy of those first couple albums comes from and then when we started to get rich and famous and like our third album zenyatta the record company is literally in the studio with us saying this is the hit that's the hit i don't know about you know they're arguing about what's the hit while we're trying to make a record here and that's when it went from being a hungry punk band into a genuine pop sensation do you guys uh who did you guys tour with early on i always ask this question because it's always interesting to hear about bands who you toured with coming up and sometimes they're going on the way down yeah well uh xtc um the the beat the specials um ub40 uh only go boingo you know joan jett did a bunch of one tour but my favorite band on tour by far the best opening act on the planet was uh uh the gogos because they were just having their first hit and we were playing i think i think we were still in arenas in those days and uh and uh they five women come out there with just and and we we were old campaigners by now we're all salty dogs but them having them on tour experience experiencing that thrill of the roller coaster ride. It just, it was infectious. We enjoyed having them around. The Gogo's is where the party was because they were young and fresh and just living the dream. And, you know, vicariously it woke us back up, but the effect on the audience was the big deal. They came out there. Okay. They weren't, you know, exactly blood, sweat, and tears in terms of proficiency. They weren't Steely Dan, but they just got out there and their energy and their songs, they lit the room up. So by the time we get out there, the joint's already rocking. And that was, I would give them my vote for best support act of all time. And by the way, at the end of that tour, the day after the tour finished, their album knocked our album off the number one spot in the charts. Thank God. And they went on and their next tour, they were headlining the same shows. XDC is a band I love. I feel like they're not, they don't get their due. I don't know. People even kind of remember them to a certain degree. Really interesting layered songs. I don't know if you could pull any of that off live. Yeah. Well, they, they had a big problem, which was Andy, who was a big central factor of the band. Um, he had horrible, insurmountable stage fright. He was agoraphobic, right? And yeah. And so, my brother Ian was their agent and he finally had them booked in the big places. This is their breakout tour in America. They were going to finally, you know, seal the deal. Uh, and Andy calls up day before the tour and says, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And that was it for XTC. XTC had some really interesting, smart, like really, I don't know that everyone even remembers them. I don't know if you can hear me or not. Oh God. How did, we, how did we end up here, Mike? By the way, Adam, Adam, you sound great to me. I can't hear any of your background sound. Oh, good, good. Maybe it's the ear pieces. Good. So you're good. They are just, they're, it sounds like one of your operas. I thought we were getting a room, Mike. I know. You got a big, bad room there. You got a biggest room in Dallas. XTC. Jesus Christ. Hold on. Let me look for a second. Oh my God. All right. It, it, it never, it never fails. Um, XTC had really smart songs, interesting songs, like melodic songs and like well produced songs. And they're just a sort of forgotten band, I would say, but people should go back and acquaint themselves with XTC. Absolutely. I endorse that. Yeah, I agree. And it's, it's kind of sad that he was agoraphobic and just wouldn't go out and produce those songs. All right. I'm not sure what to do because of the, because of the music here. Um, but we're almost at the end of our time anyway. So I want to give you a plug Stewart, and I want to thank you for being a good sport because I thought we were going to get a room to do this. And I didn't know we're going to be in the middle of an arena. Yeah. With music blaring, you don't hear any of it. I can do it. So it's kind of, you know, the weird part is, is I, I hear it so loud in my head, but I'm going to continue on because I'm a professional Stewart. I'm going to continue on, uh, hardened, hardened. So what do you look, do you, you look, what do you look forward most to doing? Do you like doing spoken word? Do you like doing opera? Do you like doing a book? I mean, is it just the variety of it for you? Is that the real pleasure? Like not having to go to the same place and do the same thing every day? Nailed it. You know, uh, the banging drums. I love doing that. I love doing that in front of an audience, but it's almost unrelated to composing for a big orchestra. Right. Concerto for an or opera. That's a different brain, a different guy. And those two aspects refresh each other. And then the spoken word tour, let's call it sit down comedy. Uh, that is, I never saw that coming. I never dreamed in a million years. That would, I would enjoy that so much. I just got back from five weeks out there and give me more. I love it. Um, but there are three really unrelated missions and I guess the variety is what keeps all three of them fresh. Um, yeah, no, I agree. I, I was talking to someone today. I, I read somewhere that, uh, Jimmy Kimmel's gonna do one more year on his, uh, late night show and then he's gonna hang it up in the late night department. And I said, yeah, cause you're in show business, but you're having to go to the same place every single day and kind of do the same thing. And, and even though it's a great job and you're in show business and it's creative, it's you're still showing up to the same place every day, you know? And to me, the variety part is the best part, best part of any job. But it's like people say like, what, what food do you like? Well, I like Thai food, but I like Mexican food, but I, I like a steak joint and a martini. The answer is, is whatever one I had last night, I want something different this night. And whatever I said was my favorite after three nights of it, I'd be, I'd be full of it. So it's a variety. Well, you're kind of popping a bubble here, you know, because to me, you know, I was in Vegas one time and I was in a big fancy hotel and that's just, I was waiting for the elevator, the big double doors to the presidential suite open. And it was, oh, I forget some huge Vegas star. And I, you know, I thought, fuck, cool. And then I thought, fuck, that's a great gig. You just like roll down the stairs, get in the elevator, go to, go to work. Buy an elevator. Wow. And then one day Andy Summers took a job, um, with the Arsenio, uh, show. Was it, I said, no, it wasn't. It was some, another comedian, uh, that he, he, that had a nightly show. And Andy was the musician MD kind of guy. And we thought, wow, what a great gig. Every day, a limo picks him up at two o'clock in the afternoon, whatever. He's got to work out some raises, do a thong that night, big live. Everybody gets to see it. He lasted about two weeks. Yeah. Before it started to drive him nuts. Yeah. Yeah. I, I agree. Now they're singing. Oh, beautiful. Uh, speaking of hotel rooms, I had something happen to me in my hotel room, which is, uh, I took a nap and, uh, water started pouring down from the ceiling of the suite I was in and my suite started to flood and I had to move. Yeah. I know nothing's ever happened before. Ah, so now I've actually have had that. I have had that. We're suddenly, you know, a pipe burst somewhere and like, like what's going on here and they can't like fix it. No, you gotta move. Can you hear this song behind me? No. No, I can't hear anything. Noise. You are absolutely clean. Noise canceling earbuds. You're a living, we're talking, you know, I'm talking to a guy who's living in the cacophony while I'm calmly hearing all of your words. I literally have the Marine orchestra behind me and an opera singer singing, um, America, the beautiful behind me. And it's as loud. Oh, the Dennis Miller show. Yeah, no, I agree. - Having to go, the least rock and roll and the least artistic thing you can do is go to the same place every single day and do the same thing, even if you're a star and getting millions of dollars. And I totally agree with that, but maybe I'm just being convenient. - Well, yeah, I don't care about the rock and roll part. I'm a 74 years old father of many. I have rocked, I have rolled. So I'm just looking for kicks. I don't care if it's rock and roll or not. So let me give you a plug and hopefully the next time we speak, we'll be in the friendly confines of my studio. - Yeah, where is your studio? Where do you live? - I'm in Burbank, California. - All right, yeah, California. California kid. - Where are you at? - I'm in Brentwood, California. - Oh, we can work this out. All right. - And probably neither of us surf. - Are we? - No. - We're real Californians. - No, I know. All right, the spoken word tour. And because, like I said, I don't have the bio in front of me 'cause the hotel didn't print it out, whatever it is. Where can we find your tour and the next place you're gonna be, Stuart Copeland? - Well, you can go to my Instagram. I think it's Stuart Copeland Music, whatever my Instagram thing is. And you will see a calendar right there. - All right, Stuart, always great catching up with you. And like I said, next time we'll do it in person in the studio and we'll have the acoustics necessary. Great talking to you, my friend. - Cool, thanks, Adam. Take care now. Have fun. - I will. - Get me a hat. I'll get you a hat. We'll take a quick break. We'll be back with the news and Andrew right after this. - SimpliSafe. Well, when your home is under threat, you need more than a recording of a break-in. You need it prevented. SimpliSafe stops break-ins before you know it. You need it before they start. 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Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration, and expert distribution, all designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus, with access to Podcast One's industry-leading network, you'll be connected to top-tier advertisers and a massive audience. It's time to go pro and turn your passion into profit. Visit podcastonepro.com to get started today. Podcast One Pro, the power. Behind the podcast. - All right, well, hopping around the globe. Andrew and I are back in Maui. Again, lots of work, lots of travel. We don't want to leave you guys high and dry with the news, so we're always trying to offer something. Thanks to Andrew's technical expertise, we're able to do this. So we have the news queued up and ready to go. So does, so says Andrew. On a personal note, if you want to know, I'm in a really good mood because of an achievement I just had, which is I made the rest of the horrible Dr. Pepper sausage for Mike. Now, if people want to know who I am or how I work, this is how I work. That was the worst sausage I've ever tasted in my life, and I think it was the worst thing I've ever eaten in my life. You know, bar stuff that had spoiled or something, or gone south. It's just the worst thing I've ever eaten that was made commercially and prepared safely. Yeah, I will say that. But if you want to know how I'm wired, there's two full sausages were left from the other day. And I hate the idea of throwing away meat. And the reason I hate the idea of throwing away meat is I feel like that thing was a pig. It gave its life. It didn't ask for Dr. Pepper. You know what I mean? Like it thought maybe it was going to be a breakfast patty, which is the best sausage or possibly a link or maybe some kielbasa. It had no idea that it was going to get doused in synthetic Dr. Pepper and ruined. And it's like, I look at it this way. Well, let's just say, Andrew, you, me, and Mike were just stranded after a typhoon and the power had gone out and we really got pretty desperate and we needed to do something. We needed to eat one of us. And obviously that would be you. So then let's just say, Mike and I killed you and you're like, well, at least you two will make it. And then at some point after we killed you, I was like, eh, I don't feel like eating. And then we just dragged you out to the curb to rot. - Yeah, it'd be no good. - Right, but that's-- - Or you tried some like Mountain Dew infused recipe and it tastes like shit and you're like, ah, it's-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. We infused you with Mountain Dew and I was like, ah, experiment gone wrong, dump him in the ocean. And that would feel bad because that was like, you were one of God's creatures. - Thank you. - And now, not his favorite, but one of them. And now you're gone. And I feel that way about the pig. It didn't make the choice to be infused with Dr. Pepper. So I, and I just don't like throwing away food. So, and those of you who think it's a money thing, a pox upon you. I care nothing about the money. As a matter of fact, if you said to me, you already spent eight bucks on the sausage. You're going to throw it away? I'll go, I'll give you another eight bucks if someone will eat this sausage. - Yeah. - So now the good news is, is we're traveling with the stone pelican and Mike will eat anything. So I had two full sausages, which is a lot. They're big. Yesterday I cut up three and we split three. This time there's two left. I said, Mike, I'm going to make you a scramble. He said, go ahead. I said, I cut up the two more sausages. I cooked them up. And I gotta say, standing over the pan, I was getting nauseated. Like it smelled, it's, I think it, it smelled like someone lit a clown on fire. That was the smell that was coming up. And I don't even know what a clown smells like, but if you can just close your eyes and go, imagine if a clown was lit on fire, the smell that would come off of that fire. That's what it smelled like. I was, I was, I was literally gagging. Yeah. I smelled, I smelled them yesterday in the actual receptacle and it smelled like smell. It reminded me of being a pledge at a fraternity and you had to clean up the floor after a party. Yeah. And there was this, all these, just a mix of chemicals. I mean, your buddies with RFK Jr. How would he feel about. Oh, he likes protein, but he doesn't like Dr. Pepper. Yeah. So anyway, I, I said, Mike, I'm making you a scramble. I made him four eggs, two sides. Sausages, a salsa. I don't even know what you do with salsa and Dr. Pepper and a half avocado and a lot of cheese. And I mix it all up and I just hand it to him. And he said, thank you, man. This is a lot. I said, go at it. He devoured the whole thing. He loved every second of it. So he liked it. He loved it. You smuggled it. I smuggled my sausage into my. There you go. Oh, there's our house cat. Oh, we got a house cat. Yeah. All right. So you got news. Yeah. I got some news. This is actually kind of keeping it. This is a family affair. So my cousin writes for the wall street journal will, and he kind of had a blockbuster article come out this week about John Fetterman, the Pennsylvania side, a Senator. Evidently there is some blowback internally over the allegations that he's shown limited engagement with basic legislative and constituent responsibilities. The investigation, the investigation notes as a Senate, that the Senator frequently prioritizes media appearances and advocacy over actual, uh, official duties as a Senator, which I feel like that's everyone now. Yeah. Like that does feel like, it feels like AOC too. Or whoever, everyone Newsom doesn't even live in California. As far as I can tell, he just goes to like Alabama hugs black people. Well, he's in the South right now. Funny you should say that he's in the South, uh, basically I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of glad when he leaves California, but the notion that these people are in charge, you know, he says it all the time, it's like the fourth biggest economy in the world. Like, I feel like if you're essentially in charge of the fourth biggest economy in the world, you want to spend some time in your office, right? Yeah, well, I mean, here's the thing, I kind of see, I see it both ways because it feels like that's the ballgame now where it's like, yeah, you have to do your jobs, but you also have to kind of keep up appearances because people need to know who you are to vote for you. Yeah, I know. No, I'm just saying, I would like a job too. I think anyone would like a job. Or they just travel around and met people. And then when you went, like, but you're still working for that roofing company back in North Hollywood, right? Yeah, I'm going to keep up appearances. Yeah, no, I mean, I still get a full salary. Like, yeah, but you're traveling everywhere just having lunch at diners with, you know, civil rights leaders. Yeah, yeah, for the roofing company. Yeah. It's like, okay. Newsom did, he was in the South last week because he is going to run in 2028. It's going to be awesome to watch that guy. That'll be interesting. But Fetterman has recently blasted disgruntled ex-staffers and smears. After this report, he is basically saying, he's chalking this all up to kind of disgruntled staffers that have basically, they've created an anonymous account on X where they're just publishing text messages and also talking about, you know, the fact that they're not going to be able to get a job. Yeah. And so, you know, I think that's going to be a big deal. Yeah. I think that's going to be a big deal. But, you know, we used to have to go back, like, yeah, back when Clinton was president, he was a, you know, he wanted a stout border and he wanted lower taxes. And, like, we used to have to go back 30 years to find a Democrat. Now you just go back, like, nine months. Yeah. It's not even, you don't have to go back that far. They just went nuts in the last 10 minutes and he's not going nuts. Yeah. Well, you know, it's. Well, what's your cousin's politics? No, he's pretty down-to-earth. He, my cousin is a, he's a great journalist, but he's also very, I mean, he's from sports journalism. Uh-huh. That was his original beat when he wrote for the Washington Post. So, he's not going to fabricate anything. He will call balls and strikes. And he is one of the most level-headed guys I've ever met. So, he's not going to, yeah, he, he's right down the middle, right down the pike. And, um. Well, also, he's the kind of guy who, he wouldn't even disclose that and I don't think you could tell his politics from reading it. Because he's a guy who, you know, he is a journalist through and through and he does care about the ethics and the responsibilities of. All right, quit sucking up to your cousin. I'll suck up, well, yeah, listen, buddy, I'll suck up to my cousin. All right, what else we got? Well, you know what, it was funny, you were talking about the Dr. Pepper infused sausages because AI. I don't remember touching on that, but I'll take your word for it. Yeah, we did. AI may soon. Oh, the smell that came off that pan. It does still smell in here, holy shit. Mike, by the way, Mike leveled that plate. He had four eggs, two huge sausages, a ton of cheese, an avocado in there. He just fucking mowed through that. It's all gone. Dang, well, you need to. Took it all. I had a huge walk this morning, man. I know. Cruising the island, dude, looking for the action. Well, speaking of feeling bad for that pig, AI. It may soon allow humans to talk with animals, but some say it could violate the animal's right to privacy. Very ethical. Well, listen, women have been talking to animals for over 100 years, but animals haven't been answering. Women turn to talk to animals, and then they answer for the animal. They go. Do you love your mummy? Do you love your. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. See, they've been providing both sides of the argument. You're going to be so disappointed with me if you were to actually see me. Oh, I know those little fucking dogs should be putting a t-shirt cannon and fired in the direction of a family that could take care of them. Oh, I love those guys. Yeah, I talk to them. My nanny had a chihuahua, which is. It's the worst. It's maybe like the worst creature. Like, earwigs are better than chihuahuas. Oh, I love it. I'd rather have a pet mite. I love my chihuahuas. I'd rather have a pet dust mite, a pet pubic crab, a pet earwig than a pet chihuahua. Oh, you're missing out. That's on you, man. All right. Well, machine learning models are paving the way to catalog and even mimic the sounds animals make to communicate with each other with researchers touting. the technology as a way to better understand the world of animals. I mean, this is just the future, though, with AI when you're going to have, you know, data centers filled with essentially 200-plus IQs working around the clock seamlessly with each other. I mean, it's going to get weird. This is really going to interrupt masturbation for dudes with girlfriends and dogs. Like, you're going to start closing the door. What are you guys doing in there? Even if your old lady's out of town, you know? Hey, guess what Phil was up to? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He was looking at stuff on his phone, and it wasn't you. I'll tell you that. All right. Well, this is basically to be able to speak with animals because it also posed dangers to the natural world, experts said. The controversy involves. There's a technique known as playback, which is the practice of broadcasting recorded animal calls in the wild. Yeah, I don't know. You're going to find out birds have. Well, you'd be able to talk to crows, man. You don't need to talk to crows. Crows know what you're doing. I thought you'd be excited for this. Well, I don't need. You don't need to talk to crows or dogs. They just need to understand what they're supposed to do. Like, when you talk. When you talk to those seal guys, and they're talking about their dogs going on raids and stuff, their dog doesn't. They don't have to tell them what to do. They can just smell the terrorists, and they just. I don't know. They don't have to point at them. They smell them. Yeah, but can you imagine how dialed in your attack crows will be? Well, my. So, the thing about my attack crows is, you know, dogs who sniff out drugs, they're not sniffing out drugs. They're trying to get their toy. Do you know. Do I know how that works? Yeah. They think they're looking for their toy, and when they smell cocaine, it means their toy is, like, in that suitcase, which has got to suck for Pablo Escobar and whoever is carrying the drugs. But they think they're getting their toy. And my attack crows, they're going to. All they want is reward. All they want is a couple kernels of corn. They don't really care about Antifa. They don't care about these dumb ice. You know, protesters. Yeah. They don't care about school shooters. They don't care. They don't care about any. Or the crazy Mexican lady with two knives. They're locked in. in the middle of Manhattan. All they want is their corn. You understand? And the way to get their corn is to knock that bitch down with her two knives in the middle of Manhattan and go after the fucking ice protesters. By the way, the Internet would explode if there was footage. of a murder of crows dive-bombing these fat, white, dumb, lefty bitches who are down there protesting ice and they're just getting hit in the head by crows. The Internet would explode. And everyone would love it. And by the way, there wouldn't. You know, less than lethal. I mean, no one would get shot. It'd be awesome. Yeah, well, the billionaire that's funding this project, he says that they will most likely. they reached their goal through AI by 2030. So that is their moonshot for the decade is open communication with animals, which could get interesting. I had a sad realization the other day. I spent my whole life thinking about flying cars. There's the promise of the flying car. Oh, yeah. My whole life, the flying car. And I figure. And there's two threats. There was the flying car. And your robot is going to turn on you and kill you. Like, technology is going to kill you. Those are the two things. If you're of a certain age, your whole life, it was like you're getting a flying car one day. Oh. Oh, yeah. But technology, AI and big computers and robots and how or whatever, they're going to kill you. And it looks to me from the way things are kind of shaping up, I feel like I'm going to be on my way to the flying car dealership when I'm killed by my robot. Like, I feel like they're both happening and I don't think I'm going to get into that flying car. But I do think I will be killed by AI right before I get that flying car. Yeah. So I guess flying car for you, that would be a Jetson thing. Whereas for me, it was more of a Back to the Future Part Two thing. It's both. It's like, yeah, it's Jetsons. It's like you can go back and look at popular science, right? And popular science of 1959, it'll be a flying car. Well, it's a Volkswagen Beetle. It's a Volkswagen Beetle with a Cessna tail and a Cessna engine in front and like clip-on wings. And it's not a flying car. It's a Volkswagen with wings on it. Yeah, it's a mini helicopter. No, it's not. It's not even really that. It's just like literally just like wings and a tail and a Volkswagen and a prop. Like, it's just stupid. It's not a flying car. It's a shitty car and a shitty plane. Yeah. But they're now like doing like a flying car. Like they're doing a. They're doing electric flying cars now, but it's not quite yet. It's not totally accessible and blah, blah, blah. But again, I think I'm going to be killed by a robot just before I lease that flying car. I'm looking at flying cars online right now. They're getting there. There's all in, you know, they don't quite have all the range. And you got to watch and see what you're looking at is it's an airplane sitting on top of a fucking Yugo. You know, that's bullshit, but they're the flying cars are getting there. And I think it's because of the battery technology, battery technology and also automated their electric. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're I mean, computers, but the batteries are light enough and last long enough to get, you know, one hundred and fifty miles range. We'll get there. We'll get there. You'll see it now. I will, but I'll be killed by my robot that the day I go to pick the car up. That's all I'm saying. All right. Well, speaking of flight, oh, man, this. The story is kind of wild. So an airline passenger had to be duct taped to his seat, and we will slug this photo in after a basically like an N-word anti-gay slur meltdown. He was later ID'd as an Arizona realtor. Look at this guy. Yeah, it's funny. Oh, man. Yeah. By the way, what can't duct tape do? Yeah. Yeah. He's in there. It's it's amazing. And it looks like he's sitting in first class. He's got the bulkhead behind him. Right. Yeah. So if you got a bulkhead behind you in a wide seat with a wide arm birth next to you, you're either in the back of the plane or you're in the front of the plane. But if the bulkheads behind you, you're in the back of the front, but he's in the front. He's in first class. This guy got a first class ticket. This guy is no joke. And then to duct tape him to the seat. But was he being violent or is he just being racist? I think he was being racist and homophobic. He kept he kept using slurs. And they had to. It was from Dallas to Newark. They had to Dallas to Newark. And they had to land in Baltimore. That's how bad it was. Dad. Okay. Dallas to Newark is about three and a half. Three. Three. Three. Three. Hey, don't bother looking. It's three. Yeah, it's about three. Three and change. Dallas to Newark is about two and a half. Why does, why does Baltimore, I mean, I would be the worst person when someone freaked out on the plane because I'd just be like, let's not land in Baltimore. Let's just go to Newark. It's another 22 minutes. Like, it's, I mean, is Baltimore that much closer than, than Newark from, from Dallas? No, that's. I don't get it. I don't get it. Why do you have to land in Baltimore? Well, I was being so disruptive, I think. I know. Well, I'm saying let's go to Newark where we're supposed to go. So you're saying just, just ride it out like it's a screaming. Look on your, look on your phone. Look, tell your computer. Baltimore, Dallas to Baltimore, miles. Not, not flight time or whatever. And then Dallas to New York, miles. I don't, I don't get the Baltimore part. Maybe that's me. Maybe, I don't know that area as well. Dallas to Baltimore, 1,366 miles. All right. Dallas to Newark, 1,538 miles. That's, that's what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. It's another 170. So you would be in first class argument. It's another 170 miles. Can we stay on the fucking plane for another 15 minutes and we'll go to where my fucking wife's picking us up. Yeah. You would tell the pilot, he's in there. Look, he's locked in. He's not going anywhere. Again, this photo, I can't believe the flight is the flight from the flight time. Flight time from Dallas to Newark and flight time from Dallas to Baltimore. I said 22 minutes as another 19 minutes. Yeah. That would be, yeah, that's like a half hour. Look it up. Look it up again. I'm saying why? Not once you're in flight and you're, you're going back. You're, you're going 575 miles an hour. I don't think, I don't think it's an, it's a half hour even. I want to say less. The point is this. Everyone here is going to Newark. We got shit to do. People are picking us up from the airport. Why don't we just stay on this plane for another 19 minutes and we'll get to fucking Newark. I hate when they divert. All right. Time. One hour in the air. One hour more. One hour more? Uh, in air 38 to 50 minutes. So. Just give me flight. Uh-uh. Flight time. That's it. Flight time. Yeah. No. Flight time from Dallas to Baltimore. That's what I need. I know. I think you're going to end up at the same number. I don't think you're going to. Yeah. Here we go. AI mode. Here we go. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is good, bud. I'm angry, though. Two hours, 40 minutes to three hours. That's Dallas to Baltimore. All right. All right. Dallas to Newark. Flight time. Three hours and 30 minutes. All right. So it's longer. Yeah. It is longer. Not significantly. And I would argue once you land in Baltimore, you're going to be on the fucking ground for two hours now. Well, you have to undo this, guys. Adam, what is that yellow thing? Let me see what this is. Those look like, I think those are zip ties. Oh, that's a zip tie. Yeah. But why not have, first off, get some big zip ties, a zip tie. You know what you need? Ooh, ooh. You need ratchet straps, not duct tape. Yeah. You need tie downs, like for putting motorcycles in the back of pickup trucks. That guy looked like he had some, he had some muscle on him. Yeah. To go look at that. So, you know, I'm going to go with that. Yeah. I'm going to go with that. So, he just was drinking. He was, let's see, was he drunk or was he just having a full on mental breakdown? Well, by the way, when you have a mental breakdown in your 55-year-old dude, the- 67. The 67-year-old dude, the racial and the homophobic slurs just come out. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I'm going to go with that. Yeah. Yeah. And the homophobic slurs just come out. You don't even have to be homophobic or racist. You know what I'm saying? Like when guys get really drunk. Yeah. When guys get drunk. So, was this, I don't know, was this like a Kramer moment where he just lost control of himself? What's going on? I don't know. Oh, man. Look at the tape. His profile was scrubbed from the realty company that he was a vice president of. So, yeah, it's probably going to have to retire early. I work with that guy. I just go like, look, what is, what's, what's the average guy get like a 4% commission or you split 5%, two and a half, two and a half or whatever. It's like, I give you 1%. So, you're going to parlay this. Yes. Yes. He's obviously good at realtor. It's not a bad realtor. He's vice president of a big company in Arizona. He knows how to move real estate. He's 67. He's been in the game for 40 years now. This guy's a seasoned veteran and now you can get them for pennies on the dollar because he's been disgraced. Well, as someone who loves local commercials, I mean, this guy could be like, you're going to need a lot of duct tape to stop me from getting you the best deal. No, you lean into it. You got to lean into it. You just got to say like, I will zip tie. Like we will. We will not be diverting. We're going to go. We're going to land this plane in your future home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we pick up sponsorships like gorilla glues, probably coming out with their own duct tape and we get this guy in on it. Smart. You're right. All right. What else? Oh man. All right. So this is, uh, you've been watching any of the us open right now. I'm not gay. oh man it's it's a fine sport adam it's just really give it a world college footballs out there college football or watching guys play tennis that's gonna be a tough one all right well this is a story you can kind of sink your teeth into entitled influencers treating the u.s open like their personal movie sets are ruining the action for actual fans so there's a lot of people at the u.s opens now that and again everybody's just everybody has a brand and an image you know a lot like fetterman where you have to just constantly yeah put out media but now you know at public events like this you have people putting together tiktoks and it's annoying the gentry they don't like it it's just a feature of the society that you know and and that's the interesting thing i started when i started making films in high school you know i felt i was so sheepish about bringing like a a camera somewhere into a supermarket to steal a shot and now everyone it's just yeah it's just i don't know people are just i i like there's no self-awareness and the camera has not slowed things down i i've always said this i was like there's there's a guy imagine this guy andrew you imagine this guy the guy who said we're going to put a surveillance camera into every liquor store and every mini mall and like we're just going to put surveillance cameras in every 7-eleven and then no 7-eleven will ever be robbed again and no black people ever fight in a 7-eleven or popeye's chicken or anywhere because we'll have cameras everywhere then we'll we'll know who they are and we'll be able to arrest them and we'll humiliate them so as we put these cameras everywhere this activity shall cease to happen there'll be no more of this behavior anymore because there's cameras everywhere and there are cameras everywhere and people have turned into fucking animals now it's like it's like putting up a camera in a fucking panda cage at the zoo and that panda's over there and he's like fucking a lawn chair you know like right in front of the camera and you go well he doesn't know about the camera we're like at the point where we're pandas fucking furniture like hey i know there's a camera i'm still gonna beat the shit out of this person and rob them and stab them in front of the camera and i'm not wearing a fucking mask or anything i don't care anymore and i'll steal everything off your porch you can have a ring doorbell camera you watch me walk up and fucking steal all your shit this same person must have must be very depressed now thinking we'll put a camera in every 7-eleven and i'll stop them people from fighting and the other person i was talking about is the person who invented the flip cap for on top of the ketchup and the mustard went well no more dried out scum on top of the ketchup because i got a flip cap no no no no sir we can leave it open no we're gonna leave that shit open and we're gonna fight at the 7-eleven and the popeye's chicken you don't know who we are do you well i mean that maybe that's the that's the scariest part of the orwellian world that we're in is that like everything is basically we've got flock cameras everywhere we got cameras everywhere we've acknowledged that and we've either forgotten it or choose to just ignore it and we're gonna revert back to ourselves i would argue that that used to be that used to be kind of the time is by the way i can't see it right here but um i i here's here's what i'm gonna argue goofball i'm gonna argue that much like pests who grow immunity to poisons you know the future generations aren't affected by the farmer's poison anymore they've genetically woven their way through it yeah i feel it's that way with like dumb young people and cameras like i don't seem to be bothered or even care that they're being filmed doing whatever they're doing like i see these videos on the internet all the time fat chicks fighting one titties out the other one's like smacking on their head their pants are getting pulled down they don't seem to have any thought about this being on the internet and yet they must see it all the time on the internet i i just think there used to be i grew up here's how i grew up they put a camera outside of the radio shack and they point it outside the window and they put a tv monitor in there and you want people to stand there and look at the camera and then like try to look at the the seeing the seeing yourself on the tv from the camera is a huge novelty and no one took it for granted now no one would ever stop or even say anything or think about it no yeah there's a there i remember i watched being there two weeks ago there was a scene where peter seller sees himself on on camera and he's blown away by it yes all right i agree and that's but now no one cares so the ketchup is dry and the camera's in full effect and nobody cares anymore and these influencers don't give a shit all right uh another fine job uh thanks you guys for uh listening and viewing as we take our show on the road we'll be back in studio very soon uh i got live shows all over the place and then coming up vegas this weekend over kimmel's couple shows friday couple shows saturday go to adamcroll.com for all the live shows until next time that's adam for andrew and stewart copeland saying mahalo you can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the ace man at adamcorolla.com hello and welcome to pluto phone if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchorman the legendary pluto phone fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls shut up titanic i'm the king of the world and so much more for showtimes press nothing they're free 24 7 that is so on pluto tv stream now pay never hello and welcome to pluto phone if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are 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