Steve Gerben | Son of a Boy Dad #426

Hey son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen, add free on Amazon music. Hey, it's PFT. Look, we all know NFL Sundays are sacred and so we found the perfect way to make sure we don't miss a single snap of NFL action. We're fully dialed into NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV. When you bundle NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV, you get every game every Sunday period. The best part? The multi-view feature lets you watch up to four games at once so you can track your fantasy matchups in real time, you can watch your favorite players and keep tabs on everything across the league. It's the ultimate setup for the NFL season. Plus, new users can get NFL Sunday ticket for eight payments of $30 per month. Go to youtube.com/NFLST and get it done. Don't be the guy guessing what's happening in the other games. Be the guy in the living room who sees it all. New users pay $240 or eight non-cancellable payments of $30 a month, first charge at purchase. Availability varies. With NFL Sunday ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games, YouTube TV required terms, restrictions and embargoes apply. Commercial use excluded. No refunds. And here's a scoop, their new sweet tea is the only vaude-based sweet tea on the market, simple ingredients in a smooth full flavor that makes it taste just like the real sweet tea. Best part? Every can helps rescue dogs find their forever homes as they work to a goal of donating $1 million to dog rescues in 2026. So if you love true sweet tea, this one's a no-brainer. Pick up a lucky one sweet tea today and give back one can at a time. This is cool. Yeah, it's nice, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad getting here. Yeah. Oh, you don't drive to New York. No, no. No, I hate driving generally, and then here it's just, I just want to see what it was. Sorry. This is a video game thing. There was no, by the way, there was no time to process anything. I just, I walked in and then we're, you know, so I'm just kind of looking at stuff. Yeah, you can take it all in. Take it all in. And I think there might be some Portuguese chocolate. Absolutely not. What are, what is it, is it, thank you. It's a Portuguese chocolate. Is it starting? I appreciate that. I don't want it. Right. You're bad at taking gifts, guys. When did you become so rude? There, what? I've always been this way. What are the, what are the, so yeah, take it in, take it in. It's funny. I just got to have to make, go ahead. The nicest person I know, until you're not, first of all, haven't been anything, but I've been mad, mad, you can be mad now. Our correspondence is you leaving me three minutes of the kindest, most sincere voice notes I've ever heard in my life. That's what you do. Okay. You're incredibly sweet. What kind of, what's the nature of that kind of stuff? We usually talk about golf and like, you know, missing each other and stuff like that and wanting to hang out more. Who initiating? Are you initiating? Are you returning the same energy that he's giving or is it, uh, if he talks about golf stuff, then I give it back. I'm just looking for any reason to talk about. Sorry, I'm not. No, no, I'll get it. I'll get it. I like it. I'm here. But yeah, so the drive here, you're in the Lincoln tunnel and then it goes, and you've got to get over. You can't get over. You can't. I'm looking at white. Double white. But like, like white plastic cones, all those things that you can just go, you'll bend though, so as I'll go, no, sometimes you got to do that, so then I, it's up going left and I have to wait my fate of like, what's coming? I don't know. I got 10 minutes. It's bummer of bumper. So then you don't know if it's going to add like an hour on to the trip to, right? So then I, like, you know, a couple of rites and then I'm on another road and I go, oh, that's interesting. There's like those white, you know, gizmos again. Not a good sign. And I go, that's got, it's kind of smart because it's four lanes. You separate it. And then all of a sudden, it starts going right again. And it's like, keep left. I'm like, I can't. And then it's taking me back to the Lincoln tunnel. It's like, you got to get off. Where? Where? That happens with the Holland tunnel too. So you went back through the tunnel? Through the tunnel. So you did three times as you had to go back again. I suppose you'd say four times because it was in out, well, yeah, I got out, yeah. But I will before you will eventually have done four, four length stuff. So then I tried to call you. I'm in the tunnel. I can't call you. Well, I called you and all we heard, you picked up and you went, I might just go home. I'm going home. I might just turn around and then you, and you're like, hang on and then you hung up. And because I'm like, all right, I'm here. You're on speaker. And I'm like, well, guys, I guess that's the guest for the day. That's appropriate. That's an appropriate response to. So then the only reason I didn't go directly home was because it was still trying to reroute me. And then I was in new territory. So I was like, the safest thing would be to try it. You had to follow the GPS because it was telling you to come to keep trying. Yes. I said, there's so many, why do people like this? Oh, my God. It's terrible. I've had it in the Holland tunnel where I've got that happen where we got caught in the go back again. And I was in like an Uber. And I just got out. I was like, I'm sorry, man. I was like, there's no way I'm going through the tunnel two times again. Like I'm just going to take the train or something. Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. But that happens on both of those tunnels. If there were, there's a lot of places to pull over and cry, I would have taken it. But there's not. There's no need. The things are standing at the stop. You set the fight through. God forbid you like, open your window in the Holland tunnel. That's intense. Yeah. You die immediately. It's just all soft. Oh, yeah. It's a bong of exhaust. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. It's a nasty hotbox. But that is a frustrating drive. Crying in your car. Imagine if you didn't have GPS. That was fucking a terrible error. I remember having a drive to North Jersey with printed out directions on map quest. And like, I couldn't figure it out. So I was calling my dad to go over a map in real time with me. And I was like spasming on my dad. Yeah. Just like it was his fault that I was lost in North Jersey. I was fucking crying. I think I cried after where it's just driving, losing it. It's frustrating. It's so frustrating. Yeah, road rage is real. Do you get road rage a lot? Or just in situations like that. I wouldn't even say that was road rage. Maybe there wasn't. You were re-arranging directly at the road. I know. In infrastructure. In infrastructure. No planning rage. No planning rage. Yeah. Just knowing that thing down though. It would just be a pep pep. I've done it. It's terrifying. But I only did it because the car in front of me did it. And then I was like, fucking, I'm doing it too. Interesting. And you think it's going to be a scene. But it really, it's a very fluid motion. Just go right over. But if they didn't want you to drive over those things, they wouldn't make a bent. You know? Yeah. They definitely don't want you to drive. You know, you know, the wheel on wheel of fortune. You know, how the little pin ball like hand, it kind of, it goes over the knobs and bends a little. That's, that's you. Yeah. It's by design. All right. Well, if it's an orange cone, you're fucked. At least I know for next time. Are you worried about breaking the rules or that it would damage your vehicle? Both? I'd say, yeah. I mean, if you've never done that, it's also nasty. The one tunnel you go through and it's just like a loop and it's just like six different exits. And it's like Brooklyn. That's bad. Which one's that? That's down in Tribeca. That's coming out of the Holland tunnel. Yeah. Go through the Holland tunnel. And it's just like, oh, yeah, send you on a fucking expressway to a town you don't even want to go through. It's brutal and dangerous. Well, even getting off of that tunnel, like if you're turning on to Hudson, if you don't get to the right immediately, you got to do another loop, you can't get over. Wait out of the Holland. I don't think you can keep going around that loop. Oh, you can't. No, the last stop is the canal street. I make it a priority to get over to that right side. Yeah. Yeah. It really is stressful though. It's like if you don't get over, you're like, it's over. Like I'm fucked going back in, constantly having to just take people's lives in your hand driving because you have to, well, we, none of us really drive here. I drive a lot in the city though, like in Manhattan. That's crazy. You seem to have a good temperament for it. I've gotten used to it. I also find my car to be a very peaceful place. Self-driving. It's just like I love the air conditioning. I love the silence of it. I don't know. It's a zen box. That's good. It's good to have that relation with the car. I say that and then I'm also the guy that like films myself flipping out when people use the shoulder to cut. So I have. You don't have any silence. Yeah. Yeah. He listens to me. No, I don't. I don't see that. I've been in the car when I've gotten in. I put it on for you so it's not weird. It's a gift. It's not weird to listen to nothing. I love. I think. I think. I think. Like the whole way here today. Like how long was your drive? I did. At one point, I started to think. Is that a Bruce Springsteen Stalk? And then I tried to listen to some Bruce Springsteen. I said. Oh! Okay. But then I went back to the silence. Yeah. Be too careful. It was all that. - Music going on. - God, music and it wasn't for you today. - No, oh man, but I did, I did that realist, and there's a chemical brother song called Go. That it's part of some Instagram reel that got me. It was like, when, it was just an image of a guy feeding a very, (laughing) a piece of woman, a piece of cake. (laughing) And it was like, when you're battering, when you're phone battering, (laughing) I don't know if you got it on the chart. (laughing) - Yeah, it's the Joker Brothers go playing the back, I said, "Let's get song." (laughing) (laughing) It's on the top of my likes for a while. (laughing) - So do you just listen to that reel a couple times through on that? - Yes. (laughing) - The song from the reel, you're like, "I'm the appetite for the song from the reel." (laughing) - So you're a big 60 second preview guy. - What's that? - Like you just listen to songs in content? - I suppose. - Or you say you downloaded it. - Yeah, you download the song, so you had it on Spotify. - Oh, nice, nice, nice, I didn't know if you had. So you listen to music, just not in the car. - No, no, the car would be the place that I would-- - So you don't listen to music at all? - No, I don't think French is the-- I don't, I never heard you be like, "I like this." Or I guess a little bit, Olivia Dean was the last artist I remember when you were a marathon. - Yeah, I like her, but you know what? I think I look at music the same way that I sort of look at fantasy football. Or I'm like, "Well, I play music." So why would I imagine it? - That's insane. - Why would I-- - That would be the craziest thing you've ever sat on the podcast. - Why would I like pretend, you know, why would I actively pretend to participate in this? - Yeah, yeah. - I can do, I can do this. - I'll just wait 'til I get home, and then play "Go" by a chemical voice. - Yeah, yeah. - Do you have a pianist that you like? - Excuse me. - One singular? - Well. - Who's your favorite? - Yeah, who's your goat? - Okay, well, that's a tough question because across different genres. I mean, I like certain composers. I like, yeah, you want to talk about classical? - It starts with classical. - And then I really love, as far as-- - Let me just say, I didn't use that. - Chopin. - Yeah. - I love, as from a more like modern sense, the pianist in the band. (exhaling) You're gonna have to talk while I forget this out. - Obviously Billy Joel was the answer to this. - My favorite Bruce Prancing song would be the Christmas song. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - I love that one. - Do you like the Closes? That one? - Yeah, yeah. - That is the best one, probably. - No. - Do you like the rest of it? - That's a good Christmas song. It's definitely not his best song. - Yeah. - I mean, I can't either. I try all the time, or I've tried multiple times. I went to a concert at Penn State. It was like $200, it was all I had. Three hours of him singing no songs I knew, and he just couldn't even get there with his voice. - Oh. - His voice is like leaving him. I don't know. It's like fucking 20 years ago, dude. - Yeah. - No shot, his voice was leaving him 20 years ago. - Yes, it was, dude. I saw him. - I saw him at it. - Just when the boss was peaking. - No. (laughing) - Yeah, but that's how it's supposed to sound. - He did the raspy or the better. - Because he was trying to shout it. - He was trying to. - He also did have like any glory days, personally. - I'm kind of living in them, but, you know? - You are happy. - So that's why you can't relate to that song. - You are. - But that's the whole point of song, "Glorid is, they'll pass you by." - By the way, you're in your glory day. - I said that. He said that. - Good. - But you need to take stock of it because they will pass you by. And you'll look back on this time and say, "I really wish I hadn't convinced myself "I didn't have any glory days." - Well, but no, no. I'm extremely aware of the glory of my days, currently. But in relaying to that song of like, you know, in high school. - The guy said, "I think Jack quarterback." - Quarterback exactly right, yeah. - Nope. - I've been at a little bit of a deficit of glory lately. And I will say, it definitely feels like I'm in a bit of a glory hole. - No, you're not a glory hole, bro. You're not getting sucked through a wall. - Definitely in a glory hole. - You're having glory right now. What are you talking about? Where's your lack of glory? - I'm just hearing like three knocks, which means he's ready. - He's about to come. - Yeah. - I think you're having glory. I don't think you should judge yourself. So, so, so, so harshly. - No, I actually feel pretty good. I just wanted to get to that glory hole joke. The Mount Joy is the band I was thinking of and the pianist. - Oh yeah, I'm out here. - It was great. - All listened to them on the way home. - They're great. Mount Joy's awesome. - Is it like a jam band or? - Kind of. - Kind of, but more, more, more like a, more like a, - They're from Philly. Okay, they're from Philly. They're Philly guys. - It's like lumeniers and Mountford and Sons, but like more like positive, you know? - Okay. - Very happy. - It feels great, yeah. - It feels good for your body. - Yeah. - That was awesome. - You will like them. - Sorry, I'm like a little Fleming. - A little under the weather. I was waiting for you to say something. - We were waiting for an apology. - Well, I'm absolutely clear. It didn't read, it didn't read a Fleming to me, honestly. - Oh good. - I didn't, I couldn't tell you. - I didn't pick on any Fleming. - But now that you've said it, I'm gonna be paying more. - Well, anytime it's crept up, I've cleared it. - But he was Fleming yesterday and he said you've been sick as a dog and it's sorry. - Sikered dog. - Feel good now though. - It's cleared up. - I haven't actually been sick as a dog. - Do you sound a little Fleming now that I'm listening to you though? - Well, that's if anything that's coming from him. - He's passing over the Fleming. - Yeah, you two are, you guys are just ping ponging him. - Yeah, exactly. - You think you caught it live like that? - A lot of silent G's going on. - Yeah, it's a sad day because you guys were supposed to be playing golf today. - We were, and Stephen wore his golf shoes. - That's right. - What happened? Why are you guys not playing rain? - The rain, yeah. - He is the one who canceled. I would have played in the rain. - You don't play in the rain? - No, but there was lightning. There was lightning. - Is there lightning? - I mean, that's what the icon said. - If that's so, then fair enough. - Yeah, 'cause then it's a walking course and then you're probably like out there. - Have you ever been out there when they blow the air horn? - Many times. - Yeah, that's the worst. - Many times. - Many times. Or when we used to play, I played golf in high school. And when we had matches and you heard the air horn, you're like, "Oh, thank God." - Oh, fuck out of here. - Oh, you had to play in high school? - Yeah, 'cause you'd be playing in the rain. Like, you don't want to be playing. So then when you hear "waiting" that whole time to hear the air horn, I think he's more excited that you played in high school. - Yes, because, yeah, that was the sort of, that was the cheat code to be able to play for free. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - And I just missed it. So it was like. - Why'd you miss it? Or you didn't start playing? - Right. - I say it all the time. It's easily like, for at least where I went to school, it was the best sport that you could play. Like, it's the only sport in high school that you get out early for from school because your son goes down in the fall. And it's like, I think it was like, it's like $200 a year and then you play golf every single day on like the nicest courses in the area. Like, we were going to like, I'm from Massachusetts. So like, we were going to like Cape Cod and playing in like these, playing on these like insane courses in Cape Cod for free. - But that's because you grew up in Duxbury. - The Duxbury. - Whoa, I mean, the kids from the other towns were playing the same courses too. - I'll tell you what, the kids from free board high school were not playing. - 'Cause you guys didn't have Cape Cod. - You don't got Cape Cod up there. - Well, we had a couple of nice courses, but they were playing free board municipal, which for us-- - We have a lot of courses. So the options are more-- - Because of the wealth. - I don't know if it's because of the wealth or because there just happens to be more people that golf around there. - Did you have to pay? Did you guys have to, like, who's paying for you to go to these nice courses if it's only $200 a year? They subsidize it for the children, for the youth? - Yeah. - Courses tend to have programs where they allow local high schools to use their course for their home course. - Really? - And, in fact, I mean, it's crazy. Like, Harvard, the country club was where the Harvard Golf team played their home matches, which is one of the-- - Yeah, yeah. - To US Open venue. It's like one of the fanciest places in the country. - Yeah, we played at the private course and where I'm from. - It's amazing. - Yeah, it was insane. - What was that called? - The yacht club. - The yacht club? - Yeah. - See, what I'm saying? It's cool. It's like this weird outreach thing that fancy clubs do. Where they're like, yeah, we, you know, we got the local kids coming in. - Yeah. - Well, 'cause it's probably future members. - It's true. - Yeah, in the box. - I mean, half people on the team were members anyway. - There you go. - That kind of always sucked. You'd go to tryouts and there'd be kids that just know the course completely. And you're like, I don't know what any of this looks like. It would have been so nice to get you in the internet invitational. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think that, and I think that next year, you'll get the look. - Okay. - If anyone or you were on anyone's, people weren't thinking about it. - Yeah, you weren't. - You should be. - Well, I mean, I'd love to, but I also totally understand, you know, not having it. - It's fun. - You don't post on social media. And if you started to post a little bit more of golf content, or if you and I went and made a video and people realized, one, you're very good. - No. - And two, you're hysterical. I think that's a good way in. - Yeah. What about being a golfing content creator for the rest of your life or something like that? - I'd be saying. - I'd be incredible. - I mean, so golf's your big thing, golf's your main thing. - Well, I do love it. - Yeah, you love it. - How many times a week do you play? - Recently, it'll quite a bit. - Every day. - Oh, pretty close. - Damn. - Yeah, very grind case. - He's wearing golf shoes. - Yeah, yeah, but I've done that before. - To the most comfortable shoe in the world. (laughing) - To like through the streets of New York. - It rained, well, I'm gonna wear, you know? - Yeah. - You're gonna be walking home and soggy shoes. - I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying, this is a man who lives the hobby. Like, imagine if like, I was out on the street right now and I was like, how far away is that building and just pulled out a range find? (laughing) I guess I have to walk 400 yards, you know? - I just. - Luckily I'm with the wind. (laughing) - Yeah, I do well. - Yeah, I love it. of it. Um, yeah, you've been playing a lot, dude. I mean, when you and I played, because you and I played what a year or two ago, two years ago, probably, and you shot I 80s, maybe something like that. Oh, no, I think that was, that was low 90s. That was a, okay. And now you're breaking 80 routinely decent. I'm not sure. What's your index? So you're, are you scratch? No, no, 90 plus, uh, seven, nine. Yeah. That's fantastic. You're single digit heading towards five, four, like something like that. Yeah. What were you at your last year? When I was at my lowest, yeah, I was down to 2.4. That's incredible. But that was the case for like two weeks. And then it, like, it throws out certain scores, because I had two rounds of like, I had like a 72 and a 73. Was that par or below or one over 72, a bayon where we played, uh, it's, it's, it's one over par or 71. Yeah, but the course is rated pretty hard. So like, if you do well there, you, it's better for your handicap, then say, or brings your hand. Oh, it's like, it's like weighted like that. It's, yeah, it's rated, uh, difficult. Interesting. I never kept track of any of that shit. I never knew my handicap or anything, but I can't imagine it was very good. I mean, dude, you said you used to shoot low 40s on nine-hole matches, right? Yeah, yeah. But it was like, it, depending on the course, of course. Sure. Obviously, like, if I played like our home course, yeah, I could definitely shoot low 40s. I would bet that you were like somewhere between an eight and a 10 maybe. But the thing is, I would play on like other courses and I would blow up. Yeah. Like that's true in the hundreds. Yeah. Oh, well, I mean, I shot a hundred at deep down a couple weeks ago, literally, on the number of one hundred. Our first tryout was embarrassing. The first tryout ever did. Um, we, they, it's obviously there's like a bunch of people that try out. So there's like a ton of T times. So they have to start at like five a.m. Because it's a public, it's a public course. The one that we were playing at the, the tryout is wasn't where the wasn't at the home course. It was like two towns over. And uh, so you had to get out, you'd to leave it like four a.m. to get there. And then I got there. And the first time I tried out, I didn't make the team the first year. The first time I tried out, I shot a one 18. Damn. Yeah. That's bad. Just kept like every hole I would blow up. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was so fucking brutal. Did you cry? No, I didn't cry, but it was like you're, you're close. Yeah. Oh, you can feel it. I'm going to head through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like valedges. Yeah. I also played like in, I played like in middle school. But you know, when you play like when you're first starting to play, like, like I was just talking to one of my friends. My, my friend Bo was getting into golf. And like, he, he was like, yeah, I played, uh, we played nine. Like I shot like a 48. That's pretty good, right? And I've seen him swing the club. He can't hit the ball. And I'm like, yeah, but you didn't actually shoot a 48. Like you think you shot a four, like you're not like, I feel like once you go from like playing by the rules to then actually playing by the rules, it adds like 15 strokes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like I went into that try out being like, I shoot in the 40s. Like I'm fine. Right. And then it's like, oh, no more Mulligan's, no more, uh, three drops, like anything like that. And then it goes up to 118. I mean, dude, beyond that, even I would say like 90% of the golf that I play now as far as rounds go, uh, is I end up playing match play with like my friends. Yeah. Yeah. So very often you'll be like, I'm out of the hole. And then the most you can take per your handicap is usually a double bogey. But that's not what I shot. Right. Because you know, I would, if I had had to actually like take the proper drop and my partner, you know, in my squared matter, and I'd had to finish the whole whole ball and hole like, maybe I would have made a nine. Yeah. And that's, you know, that's where like the handicap thing comes becomes a little inaccurate. Is when you guys play now, like, uh, you obviously get paired up with people like randomly, like, do you, are there? Do you, do people cheat? Like the way, like when I was, I've talked about this too, well, when I was in high school, like, everyone was cheating on both teams. Well, it's not that that, I mean, like, I don't think people would sit, but nobody's getting their actual score. Yeah. Yeah. There's, I mean, that would be your experience too, right? It's everybody said to match play or just whatever they're shooting. It's rare to find somebody that actually counts like every V or yeah. Yeah. Puts everything out. I mean, we used to have like, we used to have kids that would play in practice and we would do like only eight people can be in like the starting lineup. So they would, we would do practice and they'd essentially like base who was starting by how practice went. And you would have kids that would shoot like double par and then they would come back from practice and they'd be like, yeah, I shot two under and the coach would be like, wow, you're really improving. And then it's like, no, like, what do you think happened between yesterday and today? Like, no, he's lying. Do you take the limit? Yeah. Yeah. And then they would go to the tournament and get fucking smoked. That's crazy that the coach wasn't out on the course to monitor people. He is, but he can't monitor everyone. Right. Right. Because it's so spread out, but he would be like in a cart and he'd like drive around. Oh, something just happened, right? Before you got here, I have a question for you guys, which is this. So I just walked into the Poke Bowl place to get lunch. And as I was about to walk in, a girl was arriving just after me. So I opened the door and held it for her. And then we walked in and then she got in line in front of me. Yeah, it's insane. I completely agree. I'm not speeding my place in line to you. I'm being polite about the door. Once inside, you should relinquish my place to me. Without question. Good. I don't know. I don't have a stringed. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I was, I was so not happy. But then what's the right move there? Don't hold the door for her? No. Or hold the door in the way where you're still in front of her. I think I opened the door. And if I see she's not going to give it back, I pick up the pace and go around. Yeah. But there's not much room between the door and now it's right when you walk. So I would have had to be really aggressive. And knowing now that women are monster, I will going for it. But the read, the like the logical extension to this for me is like there's nothing chivalrous or expected as far as chivalry. Like if I were in line and she came behind me, I wouldn't be like, Oh, please, go ahead. Now, never, which is what she almost effectively assumed, right? That is like the extension of her thinking is that he's opening the door and allowing me to go in first, which means by extension, he is seeding his place in line to me. I mean, I don't really think to be honest. I don't know if you have that place in line until you're in line. Can you imagine how relaxing it would be to be that woman? Oh, she doesn't give a fuck. Just, never mind. Cut the line. Because none of this is going through. She was probably pissed she had to wait in line at all. She probably walked in there and was like, I shouldn't even have to wait in line. She wasn't anything. There was no thoughts. What's so nice about it. The world is just open to her. What would you guys say same, same kind of question for an elevator? If you're on an elevator and there's a lady on the elevator and you get off the elevator, does the lady have to go first? Yes, but that's, again, that's just the same as the door. That's opening the door. Okay, so now let me give you a more specific scenario. You get into an elevator and there's a guy and a girl in the elevator, most likely together in this scenario. They're in the back. They're taking up the back two corners. You get in, you stand in right in front of the door. You land and then you get out. You're just getting out of the way. If it's crowded and it's logistically difficult or it gets awkward from an exit standpoint to seed the elevator exit to the woman or whatever, yeah, go ahead. Obviously, I don't think anyone would argue with that. I've been in a packed elevator. I got into it where there's some older woman in the back and I'm not going to be like, everyone out of the fucking way. She's going, then me crawls out. But if it's a couple, I'm still, I'm giving, I want any, everyone to get out of the elevator before me. Okay, so I had a situation at the office here where that exact thing happened. And then when I got out, she said so much for ladies first. So your response to that should have been, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a woman. I didn't say anything. I just kept walking. I was so uncomfortable because that will really piss them off as the doors close. But it's like, like, I hold the door for people all the time. But like in elevator, it's I've done that before. It's wonderful. I had that one time. I landed it. I stuck the landing. Wow. Because she also was very androgynous looking. Okay. But I didn't know. I knew she was a woman. Okay. Because she was like, I guess she was like, I guess, Chevrolet's dead. Similar thing. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were a woman. I was like, what the, I was like at the door opens itself. No one's holding the door for anybody. It's an automatic door. This is a very old-fashioned gallon. But this wasn't an old-fashioned lady. It was a modern lady of the time. But she clearly expects it. So she is subscribing to an age-old practice. Good. Yeah. That is not. No. It's my surgery. I'm getting surgery on my knee tomorrow. I got a break. I got I've been rocking a brace. I've been rocking pants all summer. Usually I'm not averse to shorts, but I've been rocking pants. It's also much to hide my shame. - Oh, ready guys, let's talk about shady rays. Quick question, how are my shady rays basically the same quality as the $200 sunglasses I used to buy? - Are you exaggerating? - I'm not exaggerating. They feel every bit as premium as the expensive brands I've owned. Meanwhile, I'm wearing shady rays to the lake on the boat at the game and on the job site. - I just got tickets to a baseball game and I wanted to get some Primo sunglasses 'cause I'm gonna be in the sun. And I said, "Why not some shady rays?" - Why not? - They'll be polarized. I remember when we were fishing, we were like, "Hey, we need to get these, "we need to see these fish." - You wanted to cut glare hard. - And that's what. - And you wanted super-clear optics. - Yeah. - And durable frames with solid hinges. - Well, that's why I went to ShadyRays.com, I'm glad to pair. And I got sunglasses with lost and broken protection. - You can go to ShadyRays.com, grab a pair and get, oh, and yep, what Ron said, we've also, we've teamed up with ShadyRays to bring you an exclusive offer. Head to ShadyRays.com and use code Dad for 50% off two or more polarized sunglasses. That's code Dad for 50% off. Drive for yourself the shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people. - In the past few weeks, when I have been kind of laid up with my knee messed up, my routine has definitely taken a bit of a hit. But luckily, I'm getting back on track with Factor because Factor's making chef-crafted dietician designed ready to eat meals that you don't have to choose between, or you don't have to choose between real food and convenience because they have the real food and they have convenience. And let's be honest, it's gonna taste fantastic. I'm talking about shredded pork, salmon burgers, collard green, nutrient dense foods on a menu that you can choose from with plenty of new options and add-ons like pumpkin flavored cheesecakes and protein shakes. Wow, 97% of users realize that Factor meals will help them live a healthier life. So you can feel confident that you're doing something for yourself and that's why I love Factor. It's easy to use, great for the body and it tastes fantastic. So let's eat real. Head to FactorMales.com/Sun50Off and use code Sun50Off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year. Well, I supplies last until October 31st, 2026. Let's code Sun50Off at FactorMales.com/Sun50Off at FactorMales.com/SeeWebsite for more details. It's been fine, I've been able to walk on it but I just got to get a fucking surgery. But they were just on the phone, they were like, and would you like to see a chaplain before the procedure? Oh my God. What does that mean? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm asking you if they think you're going to die. It's a multi-faith and I was like, but is this like a last right thing? Like some people get communion. Like no, no, no, it's not last rights. But I was like, what? That would make me so much more nervous. Some priests coming in and blessing me before I-- Okay, next question. Is your will in order? Yeah, yeah, what? Do you have a next decade? Things don't usually go wrong in the knee surgery, but they have. Yeah, we'll have died. How did Kanye's mom go? Because I feel like there's some shit like that. Knee surgery? It wasn't maybe not knee, but was she-- maybe BBL or something like that? No, I think it was something like that. Wait, actually. Yeah. It was respectful. I said in the last-- His mom died in like an insane way. It's just like a standard procedure. And that's what freaks me out about it. Plastic surgery? Oh, fair enough. You think that's a first? Yeah. Do you think people died during plastic surgery? I'm sure. That's happened. Yeah. That's fucking insane, bro. Imagine-- Imagine getting a full body. When you get a new ass and dying. My wife's friend was over the other night talking about this doctor. She knows that does a thousand body makeover surgeries a year, a thousand a year, a thousand bodies. And it's like, he has like a signature body that he puts out and you could like spot his body in the wild and be like, oh, that's the body that this guy makes. Wait, so what does that even mean? What is that? You just get everything? Everything. Tits, ass, tongue, tongue. The whole body. They just like rip your skin around your skeleton in a certain way. What if you're a dude? Can dudes get that? Like, can I get that? Can I get a full body repair? You should. What would they do? What? What would they do, though? Caps. Caps, implants. They would probably-- You could pick. You honestly could probably pick and choose all our cart for guys, Tommy Talk. Tommy Talk. Probably like pump your-- whatever that-- make you skinnier. Liposuction? Lipo. Skinnier. That's skinnier? And then they would do maybe tricep implants, bicep implants-- a lot with your face. There would be a lot. Yeah, they'd go to town. Skin, cheekbones. They're looking like blackface after they're done with the sharpies. The sharpies. Multiple sharpies, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. What's the worst though when you know something's wrong? I know, dude. I like-- I like the story. I know. It was terrible, yeah. Yeah. I don't like man chains at some point, but because I tore my hammy playing kickball, adultly kickball. I don't think I knew that. Yeah. That's got to be painful. Yeah. Torrent. Torrent, but not to where I needed surgery, but I had to wear-- I had to use crutches. Wow. Yeah. And the way it happened was like, we-- I'd actually moved back from New York. I lived here for like a year and a half. And then joined an adultly kickball and was just part of the group that wasn't team-building for to make friends and stuff. Yeah. Nice. And then the first time we played, everybody was wearing cleats, so then I got cleats for the second time, and I guess, you know, I was just like, hadn't been used to wearing cleats. Yeah. And so I kind of hit one to third and then tried to take a big step and then just went straight there. Oh. And it's just like-- You feel it, Paul. Oh, my God, immediately. It was just like, something is so wrong. And it irreversible, and it's going to take me out for a while. It was just-- Oh, worse. Was it really painful? Was it like a crying situation? I didn't cry, but I could cry. Yeah. I sucked it up. There's a couple of oddies on my team. I was like, you lift it over to the car right here, I was there. Did you try to get back in? No, no. It was so good back in. At the time, I was at Drexel, I was finishing up. So I wasn't. It was pre-New York then. But anyway, I was in Drexel, and that was in a modern dance class, because I needed two credits. And I remember just she wouldn't let me not participate. So I would just like stand on the crutches and have to just like-- That's crazy. It was crazy. Oh, man. I don't really do the modern dance. Yeah. On crutch? Yeah, just like do something. Is that in a pair or like a grouped choreography? It was-- what was a class? So it was just a matter of-- Oh, it was just you doing like a recital? No, no. Class. So everybody was like taught a move. Oh, got it. Was it a class? [LAUGHTER] What was it like an individual to torture? It was a class. Oh, OK. Why am I-- why am I-- Did you do that? Were you paired with someone else to dance, or was it all-- Oh, OK. So like did someone have to get paired up with you while you were on crutches? That's the class. Oh, that's the question I understood. No. There was no pairing. It was a class. Yes. It was about-- Got it. Modern dance. What is model? [LAUGHTER] Like a plane crash. How many of boards in this class? So did you, uh, did you like learn anything cool from modern dance? No, sir. It was all-- Oh, shit that you could have just learned from watching dancing with the stars and whatnot. Shake it up. I don't think I learned anything. You guys don't even know shake it up. I don't think I do. No. Was that a movie? No, it was like a dancing show on Disney Channel with Zendaya. Yeah, I don't think I knew that. Was it like a reality show? No. Oh, damn. It was awful. Terrible. Can't be good. I went through a dancing phase recently that Shane hated, obviously. And then I went on a date with a woman who had been professionally trained as a dancer at NYU. And I had been working on this. One dance, the-- was it from the remake of Footloose? This is like a live dance. I loved that remake of Footloose. I saw it so many times. Really? I'm not making this up. Please keep going. We'll talk about it. Okay. Well, that too. Because I have just the one scene where they're line dancing is the one that I-- Yeah. And so I was telling her about it, obviously, on the date. And she was like, let me see it. And then I was like, absolutely not. But then, you know, we had some drink. So I did it. And she was like, do it again. And then I did it again. And she was like, you not moving your upper body at all. It's like, you're too tight. It looks kind of like Irish. So then, the next day, like, videotape myself doing it, I'm not dancing, so it's so bad. Like, that's not what I thought. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm anticipating every step and it's like, like, a computer. Just like, by the way, movements, there's no, but you have a very, like, natural-- That's not, that you're, you don't know me. I do. You don't know me that you think. Absolutely. But if that's what you think, there's no way. I have a terrible, my body's a prison as well. You're not good at basketball? No, not at all. And I can't, like, operate the fucking, I can't operate the mission. Yes. Francis is the only one that's good. It's like, I'm terrible. Yeah. I mean, we in Tass are in the same boat of-- Really? Zero coordination. Zero coordination. Yeah. Is that right? It's like, I don't have the controls to my vessel. Like, it's like, when I run in Japan, I believe that. If I start running downhill, I have no control of my body. It is hard to believe with him because he's cool. Right. And I think it's easy to assume that someone who's cool moves well and is, like, you know, good dancer, athletic. battle rap champion. But no, black people are all good at dancing. I get how you got there. A lot of people don't, don't know with Rome because he, he like goes out of his way to not have to do anything like athletic on camera. Yeah. He refuses athleticism so that he's not exposed for his lack of coordination. I mean, I've done athletic things on, I played basketball on camera plenty of times. It's an embarrassment. But you're, but you're playing it in like a cool way. No, I'm not. We never see. Yeah, you know, you know, you never, you never see him at full sprint. It's like, it's like check out this half court hook shot. Yeah. I was going and he's like, well, nobody's going to make. But look at this though. Like what happens if I tried to move at full speed? My body would like it. Yeah, shuts down breaks. Actually, so that's, but it's because you're age. So you're probably moving quick. I don't think I can move quick enough to actually pop it in. Well, you broke your, you popped your hamstring. That's true. But that was a huge while ago. Yeah, true, that was a while ago, when he could move. I love that you specified too, that it was an adult handball league kickball kickball, right? As if we thought, like, oh, is it the one that crosses over with the chemical? Yeah. Is that the trial? It's not the trials of old combo team. Yeah, fair enough. But it's also like the only sport for which you had to specify one would have to specify that no, no kids are allowed. Yeah, it's typically. Yeah, it's typically a kid sport. That's kind of to be a brutal way. Like I played, I was in like a softball league for like a one fall, like a couple years ago. And my buddy Derek Drescher, he, he, we went out to Randall's Island at like 8 a.m. for this game. And in the first inning, he was like, up to, he's obsessed with it. And the first inning, he like, he's growing just fucking exploded. Oh, what? Yeah. What? Same shit that happened to you? Is growing popped? Oh, well, cool. Do you get a honey? He's like, something happened, something, something tore. Yeah. Where even is the groin? Is that the groin? Yeah. It's, uh, it's the shoot to the penis. Yeah. Cause I always knew it from wrestling when they'd be like, he had him in the groin, like it's a groin shot when it was obviously they couldn't say penis on air. Sure. But then like, like pros would get their groin injured. And I still don't know exactly. Yeah. It's this muscle in here in the, on the inside of the legs. God, how do you work it? Is it this guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You would use that, that, uh, like grip strength thing device, the big one. I can't do that. Yeah. Yeah. That's for the ladies of Jim's pussy work out. That's what you think whenever you say a girl doing it. Yeah. Yeah. That's working out. That's supposed to work out. She's now she a minute. Yeah. Just tightening. I mean, that is what people are thinking like deep down in their brain. Rejuvenating that they're, they're, they're for Juvenate. Yeah. It's a little rigid nation, a little one done down. Yeah. Yeah. That's like sometimes you got to hop in the gym and just tighten up. So, yeah. So shut. Uh, this, that's, this isn't that kind of podcast though. We don't talk. I'm happy to. Go ahead. We just don't talk about that kind of stuff. We're not really a vagina talk podcast. We don't get into that nasty shit. We respect vaginas. Of course. Who doesn't? We have like a 60% female listenership. It's all right. Yeah. Yeah. It's more than you would think though. Let's put it this way. 60% of our female listenership has loose vagina. That's why we have to stay away from that topic. That can't, that can't truly be true. Yeah. I fucking playing children's games like that is, uh, you want to keep on holding on to it. I'd, I biked past a fucking soccer field today. And I was like, I'm fucking, I would love Fred, not a phase of my life to include playing soccer with people. But then my first thought about that was like, I need to get in like the lowest girls league. Well, like the lowest co-ed league. You know, where it's just like girls who are just trying it for the first time. But I want to be part of something like that. I play in a children's soccer league. I want to get in the children's league. Like, that sounds fun. I pass guys doing it every day. But then right after college, we did fucking dodgeball. And I like, through the dodgeball so hard that my shoulder just popped out of its socket. Oh my god. And I like put it back in. And I twice more that same game, the same shoulder, the same shoulder came out of the, they'll give socket. Yeah. That's cool. Twice more in the same game. It fucking, it like, after the same time, I should like roll it like this. And it would like, like ratchet. Yeah, it falls back into place. So I was like, oh, it's not that bad. It's back in. And twice more that game had popped out. And I was just like since then, my shoulder has popped out. Like since then, it's been a wrap just from trying to do some fucking team building. How are you going to teach the boys how to throw? It's going to have to be a minute. I'll be done. You're not to get a coach. You're not going to throw this left hand. And their, their sons, the sons are going to be like, that's gay. dodgeball is a team building. I mean, it's any sport you play with girls is like, it's not just for the athleticism and the wind. It's like partially team building, I think. With girls, isn't it usually like a dating thing? When you do those like co-ed leagues? It's just fucking. That was, that was my goal. Yeah. But you told everyone's, yeah, tearing something is the quickest way to not fucking. I love the image of you having a icebreaker conversation with a woman like, is this the first time you've done one of these? Yeah, me too. Anyway, I'm up next. I'll see you. I'll see you after. Good luck. What's going on? You're like explode. Yeah, you go down. Oh, it's straight down. It was like a James Brown against Wilson. Was it like a thing where like both teams came out? Like where people think it was. Yeah, there was like general concern. Did he go clap when you got up? No, I don't recall the clapping. It was just utterly humiliated. There's probably no audience. There's probably no there's a wind like when we're out there. When I played hockey, like when someone got up, everyone would like smack their sticks on the ice. Yeah. I didn't know if they did something. Maybe they all bounced off. They all bounced off. The first time before the cleats, I remember I was playing first and I didn't have my foot on the bag because it was like, you know, terrifying. It's when he's like running at me full speed. There was this attractive woman on the other team and she ran first and then got there and was like, his foot wasn't on the bag. I was like, well, so yeah, you didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Yeah, you'd be a perv. Yeah, you'd have to be like, yeah, no, I didn't want to get my ankle run over by some big bitch. Yeah, don't that. It's pretty. You said, yeah, right. Because I said, oh, that's not a team. And I was like, did you have something planned with her? Like, would you have said something? Yeah, I was mingling afterwards. Do you think getting her out would have behooved your chances more than not having? It was solely because I'm like, this is adultly keep up. Look, why are we even risking it? High probability, low probability, high impact event. Because women still are attracted to men that are, you know, bathwater. Yeah, proficient, right? I didn't know that. But in softball, they have the double wide base now. Like, they have a base for you to stand on and a base for the runner. Yeah, you were, honestly, like, you just needed that double wide base. And you would have been fine. You'd probably be married to this woman. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like, what are you supposed to do? Like, what are you going to like, you're going to like grab the ball and then be like standing at first ready to fucking lay her out when she gets there? Well, but if you catch it with your foot on the bag, then that she's out automatically. Yeah. What if she tried to steal? Do you think you would have tried to get her? Would you have been her? What I mean, her being is a way to get people out and kickball, right? I suppose I would have attempted to be. Or would you have thrown it to second to try to get her out that way? I think I would have thrown it at her. Yeah, right. Yeah. Because why? What if you hit her in the butt? I'm just going off of. I don't know. I just, you know, yeah, what if you hit her? What the fuck? What the fuck was that? That hurt. And then you're like, I'm sorry. I don't know what happens. But you have to throw it hard enough. That's going to get her. She's game. Yeah. Two handed like, are you chess passing it? You have to throw it the way that'll risk your shoulder. Yeah. Cullhead sports are just too uncomfortable. That's yeah, feel like I do find it uncomfortable. But I think it's also because the only like, software running on my brain while it's going on is like, who can I date? Yeah. Yeah. That's tricky. It is a balancing act because you want to compete well, but you also want to flirt and, yeah, and appear. And I think a lot of the women that sign up for those things are like fierce competitors. Yes. It's been my experience when I've done like, I did a co-ed soccer league once and it was like, yes, stay out of the women's way. I mean, when women's soccer is a high T space, they're not here to meet us. They're here to meet each other. Yeah. Yeah. They're here to like find fellow survivors. You're a coach to that too. And like, yeah, like there's videos of these of the women's soccer players. Have you ever seen like the violent ones? Like, I mean, she's a plastic. She beat up her husband, but like, there's the girls that like, yank each other's hair to the ground and like, yeah, they're out of each other. Yeah. Her animals. They're high T animals. You do not want to fuck with them. They're way scarier than like a scary dude. Steven, I was listening to you on Matt and Shane's and I know that you're a huge fan of, of kind of lingus. Oh, okay. But this isn't that kind of pod. Yeah. But yeah, don't, so don't bring that up. No, it did. But the only reticence I had that is like a season three sort of season three of tires coming out October or August 13th. We okay. Yeah. That's in it. You're doing conolingus and see it in the three. There's a talk about it. There's talk about. Yeah. I don't think we would have buried the lead if you hadn't said that. Anyway, that wouldn't have been a spoiler until because you talked about it on Matt and Shane's. Yeah, absolutely. With the pillow, right? The pillow. Oh, sure. Yeah. What was the pillow again? For my knees. It's for your knees. Yeah. I see. Not to lift her pillow in those like gardening mats. What's that? Like the gardening mats that like people use. It was just run of the middle pillow. You know, it's just for me. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of these women, they don't have, they have hardwood floors. Yeah. So it gets uncomfortable and he, if you're down there for a while. Yeah. I can see that for sure. You're not. Oh, no. I just don't tend to talk about it too much. He likes to lay flat on his belly with his knees. Yeah. He's never touching the ground. Like he's reading a good book. He's reading poetry. Yeah. The only thing that's touching the ground would be his like upper thigh. Actually, what I do is I usually I'm, yeah, I'm flat on my belly and then I hold my ankles behind me. The position said that I don't touch the ground. Yeah. Or if a pure airplane will get it on two legs. A little ab workout. Well, a child box. So nice. Yeah. Are there a standard variety pillow to to narrow for your knees? Do you have to have your knees touching one another or is it a longer pillow? What's standard variety? And your knees are a little bit closer. It's just on the ground. But I'm just thinking like do we have like a standard pillow anywhere? I don't think so. I don't know. I feel like pillows like a regular pillow is like this wide which is like just like a camping pillow. That's a camping pillow. That's too small. Oh, oh, oh, a head pillow. I'm thinking of a couch pillow. A throw pillow. I was thinking of a throw pillow. Yeah. Okay. Throw pillow. You have to kind of have your knees together. Your knees would be together. Right. But on a regular. The size that you just showed was the size of a napkin. I'm saying a throw pillow is like a standard pillow is about this. A throw pillow is not this big. No, he's right. Yeah, that's a throw pillow. How big would you say a throw like it's like this? I mean, throws come in all different sides. Yes. They sure do. Throw. They sure do. And which is part of the you want and you want to. They're all the same. It's like the small ones on the inside. I got a new cat. I got a cat. Oh, I got a couch finally this weekend and it actually it came with two throw pillows. And I says that very nice. A little treat. Yeah. The couch came with two throw pillows. It came with two throws. I think that's standard. I think most couches come with throw. Well, when I got my Amazon classic couple of years ago, that came with just the couch. Yeah. Got an Amazon classic. It's a great couch. Beauty of a beauty of a couch. But at this time, I went way fair. Very nice, very convenient. Yeah. Two pieces. It came in. You're going to want more throw pillows. Honestly, season three of tires is coming out. When is it coming out? August 13th. Lovely. That's very exciting. I am not in this season. Unfortunately not. Yeah, that's okay. You guys have been very generous to me over the years. I'm thrilled to have been in seasons one and two. I mean, you're so good in it. And I'm sure you'll be back. I have. I'm not going to hold you to that. Well, I mean, I he just confirmed it. He said, no, no, you're coming back. Are you arrested as a creator of the show? That's right. You're the face. No. So you could easily say no, no, who made the call? Was it you or Shane? Well, you created the show there. There was no no Francis decision ever made. It was just a matter of the story. The story I didn't fit in. I think originally John told me originally that I was. Yeah, it's so hard. I do. I get it. Again, you don't hear me. I know. I know. I know. You should know me and Rowan are furious. Understand. He was like, you're going to need to fight this battlefield. Find out why is so much fun. And, you know, I'm very biased. Just by opinion, I know he wouldn't want me. But like Shane is lights out. Yeah, he's so good. Love that. I can't wait to wait. Everybody's great. Everybody's you're really good. No, no, no, no, you're a number of people who talk to me and say that guy. Nobody knows your real name. That's great. A shout out to how you're humility. But like when they all know you by your character's name, the guy plays Will, the guy who runs the plays. That guy's so funny. Everybody says that. That's incredibly sweet. Yeah. Did you ever talk about why your name wouldn't work for your character? Yeah. Well, I just wanted separation. Got it. And then it's fair. Yeah. But Shane is Shane. Yeah. Cause I talked about that. But yeah, it was like Sean. And he was like, just call me Shane. I got it. I got it. And I was almost surprised you guys didn't name me Francis. Yeah. Because in his sketches, he often will have me. Your character is very based off of a real life. Yeah. Oh, someone else or me? No, someone else. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. I had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. There's a guy. There was a guy that works for my dad that was like, oh, you did tell me this. You did tell me this. Okay. But just was an incredible salesman had a horrific cocaine. And was just into any always doing something. Yeah. And getting fired and coming back, robbed him at one point. Yeah. My dude, my dad is one of my favorite stories. My dad was he was so my dad's Jewish. My mom's also Jewish, but she converted to what? To what? From Catholicism to Judy. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. But back when there was like 79 or 80, he had his first shopping and he was interviewing this guy. And he's, you know, asked him, like, why'd you leave your last job? I think I was, did you ever work for fucking Jew? And my dad sit there and everybody's listening to it. So then, you know, if I asked for that, he said, what'd you do? And he goes, oh, I hired him. It's great. He worked for eight years and really good. Just like you don't have any. So. And I think that's just a fast in the business. People come and go. Yeah. Yeah. Did your dad ever let him know? I'm sure everybody did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A way to lead an interview. Yeah. That's amazing. What a bold thing to say. You're all anti-Semitic. Yeah. When you assume everybody thinks the same thing as you it is, it's so, but it's like so cocky to be racist. Yeah. Just be like everyone. Everyone is too. Yeah. We all, we all hate you. I mean, he must have been so confident that your dad was not, like, not even was he not Jewish, he must have been confident that your dad hated Jews. Right. And he was just wrong on every. Yeah. He doesn't have my head. He's on a very Jewish affect at all. Oh, yeah. Are you Jewish? Jewish. I mean, no. Undercovered Jew. Oh, what's that? 50%. Well, I mean, it was bar mitzvah, but so you're full on Jewish. Yeah, but I don't, you know, not practicing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad's Jewish. My mom's not, though. I'm not, I didn't like grow up Jewish. Yeah. I didn't know this, dude, because if I had, I'll be honest, I'm glad I'm not in season three because I wouldn't want to work for you. Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. You were, you were work for. We all literally do. We should have a bar mitzvah for you. I don't think it's too late. I think there you go. That's fun. That would be a party, a really nice party. What would have been on the end. Go ahead. Sorry. I don't know. You like, you could have a competition when he's reading the half-tour. Like, yeah, if you laugh, you have to leave. Oh, yeah. The room. That's actually Matt McCusker. Man, this is like back in the day. He, I don't know if I should, but he had this concept of like, you would go into a, you know, like a conference room. Yeah. And it would just be a bunch of white guys working on their asian accents. And that if anybody laughed, you were kicked out. So brilliant. That's hilarious. I mean, I mean, like, have your friends listen to me? Yeah. I have to, if they giggle at the baroo. Yeah. I don't know. Yes, because the last time we ever lit candles is a family. My friend Drew, he was from India, it was over. And he had never heard, so we light the candles. Then we start like baroo. And he started wheeze laughing. And like felt so bad. He felt so bad. He was crying. Trying to apologize. We all just chanted through it. And then from India. Yeah, that was the end of it. We were all so humiliated. That's so funny. Yeah. And again, because he felt so bad. Wow. He could. And you're like, I'm done doing this. I'm not doing this anymore. Not that funny. I've heard it many times. I don't find it funny. It's like a little raw, though. You don't have any music or backing tracks. No one gives you your key. You just have to jump in. People that you're used to talking to normally all of a sudden just chaining together. Yeah. Yeah. And at a bar mitpha, you're doing like 20 pages. Yeah. You're just fucking singing. That's so much to memorize. You can't read it. Yeah. How much did you spend? You don't have that answer, but how much was your bar mitpha ballpark if you're comfortable saying? Look, what I raked in. No, or both. How much did your family spend? And how much did you rake? We, I don't know how much was spent. I think I got like three grand for it. And then that was kept in the camp. That's not very good. I feel like people are usually walking away with that with their, like, I made a million dollars. I'm kidding. - Yeah, my dad was like, you know, my dad was the highest society of the people that were-- - That's possible, you got confirmation money. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, that's confirmation. - It's happened. (laughing) - But I was putting my savings account, and then later my dog, Scooby needed surgery, then it was used for that. - Oh, okay. - And my brother's too was combined, then. - Do you use two Jews savings accounts to fix one dog? - Yeah. - How long did it live after that? - She did live for like four or five years. - Oh, yeah. - It's worth it. - Wow. - Worth it. - What was the decision that was gonna-- I forget exactly on the conversation with-- - Was it forced on you? - It wasn't, I mean, we would've, he was like, we'll pay it back. - Okay. - No. (laughing) But, you know, yes, in so many other ways. - Yeah, but not with cash. - Yeah. - What kind of surgery did the dog need? - She had tumors, she needed to get treatment removed. - Oh, that's a very noble application of the money. - Well, I mean, she was a great dog. - Did your parents, like, was in tight, like, couldn't they have just paid for it? - It was like the weird kind of like, 'cause he had money in the business. - Right. - There was, you know, good years, bad years. - God, I got it, you don't wanna liquidate. That's so interesting. - For a dog. - Yeah, for a dog. - But he's also the type that he would like. - All right. - I'll let my sons do it. - Yeah, like, that's all that I want. (laughing) - Like, did he not like the dog? Was he like, how bad do you guys want it? - No, it was just like, he was at some point not paying state tax, 'cause you, you know. And then he just has that sort of, he can like, be on the high wire from a business perspective in a way that I think would make most people uncomfortable. Where it's just like. - I don't know what you mean by that. - Well, he's like, I'm not gonna pay state tax. He lived in a precarious position. - A precarious position. - And then, just chose to opt out of. - Well, 'cause he, there wasn't money for it. - Oh. - So it's like, you know, but he's still, we'll fix it. We'll figure it out. - There's some, yeah, that is current. - You guys aren't paying tax. - No, no, no, no. Now his state came in and was like, well, if you don't start, they came in there like we're shutting you down today. - Yeah. - 'Cause you haven't paid. And he goes, well, hold on. And then, you know. - My sons have apartments. (laughing) - And he'll just be on a repayment point. - Yeah. - So then they just start a repayment point. - And he's, that's what he wants so many kids. - Yeah. - You know, they want their money. They're not gonna shut me down. I'm like, I just told him, you know, we're, yeah. And don't get it back. It's, he's got that attitude where I'd be like, you what? (laughing) We, what, you haven't what? (laughing) And then, I just feel like, Google, (laughing) Google, you know, if he was prison time, you know, what's the student of the credit? (laughing) I was worried about your credit for C, you know, yeah. You really gotta, you really gotta take it easy. (laughing) - Wait, what is the name for that? You, you watched a movie about the people that don't pay taxes. - Sober, citizens. - Sober, citizens. - Yeah, yeah. - It was not the political. It was just like, it wasn't like, he wasn't making like a - Statement. - So he was still paying like, federal taxes and stuff. - Yeah. - He had, he feared the feds. - I guess. - Well, you don't fuck with the feds. - No, you don't fuck with the feds. - There's some debt that you can just like, get away with not paying though. Like, that Duke Caleb hammer was just talking about how, like if you have medical debt and you can't pay it, just don't pay it. - Bro. - The bankruptcy is like easy to like handle. - I had an elbow surgery in like 2013 and for whatever reason, the, I had good insurance, I think, but like, it didn't really cover that much of it. And I still remember that the hospital bill, the like rental of the surgical theater and the doctor's bill, it was like 30 grand or something like that. And I did not pay it and they stopped asking for it. - Yeah. - And I never saw my credit score go down. Eventually, the doctor died. - There you go. - So I am clear. - Perfect. - Yeah, now his credit has to pay off your surgery. (laughing) - They're all doing well that dad was a doctor. - Yeah, it's true. - That's a good go. - Very successful doctor. - I thought it all got passed down. I thought it all went somewhere. Like, if you have debt. Medical that, I think medical, I think it's just different levels of debt. I don't think it's all the same. I think that the state tax is, isn't as important as the federal tax is. - I'm not gonna pay my state taxes. Let me get in touch with your dad. (laughing) - I wanna talk to him about that. - I saw a chart recently that showed, you know, if you make a million dollars a year, here's what you walk home with based on the state. And Pennsylvania was one of the higher ones, meaning that there's not as much state income tax there, as I thought. - Right. - It's a pretty low state income tax. - It is, yeah. - But it's not, I mean Florida, Texas. - Yeah, it's always a real hard one. - Florida and Texas were both the top because there's zero. - What did it say you come home with? - You owe money on a million dollars in New York. - New York was, New York was pretty bad. California was like, decidedly worse than New York. - Yeah, like what, you come home with like 100K? - I think it was less than five, less than half. - That's crazy. - Maybe. - That's so nasty. - For a million. - That's why we had to get out of there. - But his dad owned his own business though. - Yeah, I own a business. - No, you don't. - So I just watch touring. - You own like a little business, but that's not your job. I have a company. - Well, you have to watch business.com. - I'm the president of the company. - That's not your main job. - Don't size shame companies. - Of the feds will. - Well, to try and use this is a little like worm. Like, but I have started dipping my toe back in the stand-up. So maybe I can really start to build a little bit of an act. If I could, you know, - Of course. - Yeah. - That'd be really nice. - Are you? - Yeah. - I'm doing like small shows around Billy. - How is this kind of bombing, bombing, you know? But it's fun because it does feel like a lot less pressure now. - Because you don't need it to, like, you don't have to like, do it to make it. - Right. - You make it. - How long did you do stand up before you stopped? - About a decade. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Like consistently. - Yeah. - Oh, wow. I didn't know you had that long. - But it wasn't good. - Isn't there some pressure in that everyone knows who you are now? - I mean, Philly, it must be like everybody, right? - Yeah, a lot of people know me. I mean, but it's, it's not pressure. Like, I just remember comedy central would come in once a year and you'd have an audition. - Yeah. - And the last time it was always a helium and I had auditioned twice and then the third time, you know, it's like, I wasn't writing anything that was good. I could feel that. And I remember getting up on stage in my, I could just see my hands shaking and I was just like, it's fucking over. And. - Yeah, that shit is a lot of pressure. You know, like the JFL auditions, like stuff. - JFL auditions, yeah. - It's like you do the same set forever and then you go up and then you're like, okay, none of these jokes are funny anymore. - Yeah. - I don't know what happened. - So even if they know me, and then I, you know, I'm also up front with them. Then I'm like, you know, new to this again. So bear with me and they're all incredibly sweet. I'm also not doing a lot of time. So they don't-- - What did you do in five minutes? - Yeah, about five to eight. - Sick. - Hell yeah, that's awesome. - Yeah, so it's, it's really fun. But that's what I said, like maybe if I could like, check your schedules and like pop in as a guest set sometimes. - Yeah, definitely. - All right. - We'll see how season four looks. (laughing) - I mean, you're the creator of the show. - I see George makes you come back. (laughing) - How was going to, did you go to the link? - Yeah. - It's incredible. - Yeah. - It was so re-raising. - Like, yeah. - It's insane. - Wow. - What do people want to do? - It was like, it was like 76,000. - 76,000. - 76,000, and wasn't it like 4,000 people didn't come and they still broke, it still broke the record. - Is that right? - Yeah. - Damn. - Wow. - Yeah. - I mean, I would assume 80,000 tickets, at least someone's not gonna show. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's crazy how many people do show though. It's fucking insane. - It's wild. And like the buzz about it before, like I remember before he did SNS. - That's why LeBron went to the Sixers. - Yeah. (laughing) - Just the energy of like everybody that I was running into. They're like, you know, so many people were going. - Well, it's probably like awesome. I mean, a lot of the people that know him know you too. - Yeah, yeah. - So there must have been like a nice pop. I saw they played the trailer, like there for the entire fucking stadium of people. Saw the trailer for your Netflix. - It's crazy. - It's crazy. - It's crazy. - It's just like standing on that stage 'cause we went the night before just to like, you know, look at it. It's like standing on his name just gigantic. Wow. I mean, like, your mind can't really wrap itself around that achievement. - Yeah. - Did you have some Bud lights that night? Did you enjoy yourself? - Well, I enjoyed myself, but me enjoying myself is probably very different. Like I had like three or four Bud lights in the night. - I would like to go home for a second. (laughing) - Man, there's one little thing that I wish I would have taken. 'Cause so like before they brought Phil and then me, Chris and Kyle up. It was Bam, Marjara. And he was just kind of given an announcement about like phones or what have you. And so then he does his thing and then Phil, we come up, Phil does his thing and they start playing it. And I looked down and then Bam's notes were on the ground. And the first thing was like, what's up, cock suckers? (laughing) I should have taken it. - You got a bit of treasure to have. - Oh my god. - That was so sick. - Just look at it. - Yeah, that's cool. - That's so funny that he wrote that line. - I know. - Yeah. - Was it cocks, was it what? - It was fine. - Up there, what up? - I need to write this down. - Yeah. - It's so cool. - Um, I, you saying I'll go home now, conjured a very, very fond memory in my life, which is when we went out to dinner with Nate Diaz or. - Oh yeah. - And. - Do not I'm trying to talk about that on stage. - Are you? Yeah, go ahead because we're at that huge table for so many people and it's a vegan restaurant in LA in a private room and they brought out the bags of mushrooms. Yeah, I don't I didn't even remember that and I'd never done like real I don't ever done like the chocolate bar mushrooms right and all of a sudden this was like crops being handed I don't know what who would bring these out the restaurant. No, Nadea's. Oh, well, he also had these like cargo pants on that had so many pockets and inside of each pocket was a room temperature like hard seltzer. Yeah. And at various intervals of the evening as we're walking along the sidewalk, he'd be like, hey, we want one to shotgun. Yeah. And I'd be like, of course. Nadea's. I'm not going to say no. And he would just pull one out that has been warming against his thigh and hand it to me and we would shotgun a seltzer and then go on our merry way. Yeah, but go ahead. Yeah, as soon as the mushrooms came out, I probably said I got an early flight. Well, we were pushing you to stay. We really wanted you to stay. And that was the night you told me about how you really liked the pinch, which I've never forgotten of that that vodka. Yeah. The ice cold vodka after a long day of work. That first sip gives you the pinch. What's the pinch? You got to describe it. I don't know. Just like that pinch in your mouth of like, you know, and then you're like, oh, maybe I'm not the worst. But that night, the thing I'm like trying to talk about is it was just tough to do. But Shane made me tell a story. We were sitting there and it was a little quiet. He was like, tell them what happened last night. And I was like, please. And then because the previous night I had accidentally brushed my teeth at the preparation age. Oh, yeah. I had that in my bathroom. And I was like, I wonder if like, I'll accidentally fuck up and use that. Yeah. Well, you did that. I did that because I also have like, I wear a incredibly strong contact lens. So when that's out, everything's a blur. It's all travel sizes. And just the disgust at the table. They're under disgust. How many brushes did you get in? I got a couple and then I freaked out. Is it like right away? Like, didn't you taste it right away? So when I call a couple, I would say that. Okay. Got it. Yeah. I did it. I've done that, but it's got exact move because it's red. The containers. Yes. I was at a shore house. I grabbed it off another counter. I was like, there's two paces in there. I know it. Put it on. But as soon as it touched tongue, I didn't even get a scrub. Yeah. Yeah. So what happened called Poison Control? I mean, I feel like you kind of have to. I feel like that's the right move. The funniest response from the guy, you know, Poison Control, I say, I just brush my teeth. Preparation age. He goes, what? Everything that he's heard throughout his life. But it's fine. You know, well, you don't get sick or anything. Interesting. I feel like that would fuck you up bad. No. Yeah. It's for the body. H preparation. H is for the bass. You put it in the hole. It's like you're putting it in another hole of your body. But what is it supposed to like? What does it do? It numbs pain and it really like reduces the inflammation. Don't act like you don't know a preparation age. No, I know what it does. I'm saying, like, so putting that in your mouth, it's got to cause a world of issues. I did it. Obviously, it has half of 50% of us. I have what I have learned is that there are humans. I passed about 12 of them away here. Oh, yeah. Who puts stuff in their body that you're like, that should kill them immediately. Yeah. It's a resilience. You can take a little prep age. Yeah. The body's meant to handle it. Did you take the drugs with the DS? I had made a vow at the beginning of the evening. The way that it was all coming together, I was like, I could see from a mile away that this was going to be like one of the nights of my life. Because, you know, we were all going out and then all of a sudden, like we ran into Nate Diaz and his whole crew at this hotel bar and then they were like, come to dinner with us. And then you agreed to come because you were about to go home. And it was like, there's the group of people and what was happening. I distinctly remember at the dinner, because this was like the first really like famous person dinner that I had been like a wallflower at. And I remember that the owner of the restaurant opened the sliding doors to that private room we were in. And this guy came in the doctor. Correct. Not just a doctor. He owned the hospitals in L.A. Oh, he did. That's what it was. Because I've been saying that he was like the head cardiologist at Cedar Sinai. I think he owned, maybe, but he, he owned, I know he owned the hospital like one or two of the hospitals in Los Angeles. Good God. And he paid for our whole dinner. Oh, he paid for the whole dinner. Yeah. Because I just the, my recollections is nobody trying to get his number. He just, that's the guy. Yeah. He shook Nate's hand was like big fan. Yeah. And was like, if you ever need anything, come to my hospital. Right. I'll give you a wing and then paid for our whole dinner. And it was like 14 of us at a very fancy L.A. restaurant. It must have been like a, and nobody was jumping to get this guy's number. No. But, but I bet that the owner of the restaurant connected them. We, it wasn't for us. I never know. What would we have done with that guys? No, I know. I'm not, I'm not judging real bill plate. Yeah. Yeah. But what, what, just in case we ever needed to get to the front of the line of like a heart transplant? No, it's a money. He's the money man. No, yeah. If anybody comes to meet me and they're like tax accountant, you know, whatever. You, these are people that you go, let's get that in the phone. I couldn't believe that he was like, thank you. I'm sorry. What are you doing professionally? Okay. Yeah. You can have my number. Yeah. That's very good. He's collectible. He was the point of all this. If not that. Yeah, it's true. In front of the line, please. I would have said, I would have said checks. Oh, yeah, that you're sure. But my heart is more than a cardiologist. Right. That's you're right. I mean, heart surgeon that owns multiple hospitals. Yeah. Why is he still doing heart surgery? Hang it up. Well, that, that's just competing. Yeah. I would trust Francis's way more than mine. That would be insane if he's owns the hospital. He was so good at surgery there. He's like messy. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a stake in the hospital. That's one of those weird things where you don't even think there's a person who owns a hospital. No, no. I thought you're like, oh, those are, those are owned. Yeah. You're in the hospital business. Yeah. How'd you get into that? Well, we started with, you know, pediatricians. Worked our way up from a mom and pop, you know, fucking overnight aid place. They probably, it's probably one person that owns everything. They probably own like the, they probably own the morgue. They own the fucking, uh, the funeral home, like the funeral places, graveyards. They own it all. Yeah. They definitely do. Yeah. But you guys still have a fun night. I remember seeing pictures of you shadow boxing with the sensor. I don't think I'm honest. That's true. Yeah. We all went to watch Shane perform at the improv and then we went from there to this, to this comedy store, which was closed and went into a convenience store and got cases of hard sellers and then went into a parking lot behind the comedy store and just drank and. It's a good hangback there, though. Like learned martial arts for the next three hours till like four hours. And then the next morning, I had to go on Tim Dillon's podcast and I was so fucked up. It was everything I could do to not throw up on the show. Really? Yeah. I go rewatch it. It was really. No. Oh, it days. Yeah. That's sick. Were you, uh, who else was in the group with the Diaz's? Were you, it was just your your part? It was one of the guys from surf ninjas. That amazing movie who has had a pretty good career in Hollywood as like a martial arts stunt man. And are you mixing it up with these guys too? Or he was the one giving me, he was the one giving me lessons. Yeah. In how to like striking, and striking defense. Wonderful. Yeah. It was good. It was good. It was good from him. And then a number of his, like the rest of his crew was comprised of like other mixed martial artists from Stockton, California. Stockton. Stockton. Yeah. Stockton. No, I understand the fuck up. What John was there too. It was just, it was just too much. Yeah, not a, not a nighttime guy. Yeah, actually, like the inside. What's that? You like to be inside? No, no, I like. Yeah, more of like a day activity, morning activity guy. I get that. Yeah. Retirement's going to be amazing for you. It's, yeah. What time do you do? Like, what do you do at night? Like, do you go to bed early or are you just chilling? I watch a ton of YouTube golf. I have some vodka. And then, yeah, I got a, what a mix. Yeah. Love that. It's good. God. I like that you're back on the sauce because you were off of it for a little while there. Yeah. I feel like six months I was off of it. And then, I'm glad you're back. That could just cold vodka street. Yeah. We're off like a little pinch of unsweetened cranberry, which is to stay, is that to stay lean? No, it's just, I mean, you, that's just your drink. Yeah. And you don't want to put that much sugar. No, there's no way that's your drink. It's definitely a sugar and you're worried about the calories. I'm not worried about the cat. I'm worried about the sugar. But alcohol is sugar, right? Well, it turns into sugar. It's still from sugar. Some of it, not all of it, but yeah, right? Anyway, I don't know why I'm my brain likes it, but that's where my brain is. Well, yeah, no, if you like it, then yeah, then have that. Probably 'cause it gets you shit-taste of that. (laughing) Probably 'cause it gets you really drunk, really fat. I can't see myself ever sitting down in any scenario with a glass of vodka, but I don't know, I don't know. That's Russian as hell. I think that's what you get to when you become a real man. And I say that as someone who has not, like the most sort of learned and mature men that I know drink vodka, which is cool. It's cool 'cause it's like, it's like impressive, honestly. That's not nothing about that as a couple. It's kind of impressive. If I saw you sit down somewhere with a glass of vodka, I'd be like, "I got a fucking cock of steel." (laughing) 'Cause you think whiskey, and dudes are like whiskey drinkers, or even maybe tequila, but whiskey, people sip whiskey, but vodka is like harsher, but also lower calorie and a little bit healthier, but way harder to drink straight, I think. Yeah, you don't mix in a seltzer or anything. You like it just straight with the grain. Dude, it is cool. Oh, yeah, that's cool, dude. That's cool, man. Especially if you keep your bottle of vodka in the freezer. I do, I do, I do, smear off. I knew, well, I would've thought it was better, but it smeared off the grain. Yeah, you got that, season four, you remember? Get yourself some fucking juice. We're their number one customer. Yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, he's in there. He rushes, are you rushin' at all? No, well, from my, the juicide, yeah. Oh, well. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Ashkenazi Russians or something. I wouldn't have even thought that until he came in. Ashkenazi was like European. Yeah, maybe. (laughing) He's full of Russian. He rushes in here. Part of Russia is in Europe. Oh, yeah, true. But I would've never, that's the most Russian sounding thing ever. Just drinking straight. I don't even know how I rush it. I'm trying to view the other bottle. That's like a bad stereotype for Russia's. (laughing) That's the one you like. Then far be it for me to sort of mock your prescription. It sounds like you know exactly what you want. Yeah, no, I agree. I think we all probably have just had bad experiences with smearing off. We're also all out here trying different things. Some nights will have a beer and then it's this. Like a bunch of fucking. What do your nights look like in the city? You guys going out all the time? No, I don't go out ever. I'm currently on a weed sabbatical. So my day-to-day is changing quite a bit. So you just go home? I just go home. What are we watching? Nothing right now. Right now it's a lot of just sitting and thinking. Okay. (laughing) And going, I don't really want to do anything. Yeah. Playing video games, but not really having fun. Hmm. So, just know that feeling. That's like why I used to play practice piano back in the day. Yeah, of course. And you were like past the point of any sort of sensible practice. You're usually making noise. Yeah. You're like your break pedals aren't working. Yeah. And you're like, it's the softest. Yeah. Yeah. You're a penis? I didn't realize. No, no. I mean just for a little brief period, you know. It was forced to. What age? Middle school. Yeah. I think I was forced to for a little bit. I was forced to for a while. And I dream of forcing my children to. Yeah, of course. Do it. I feel like you have the idea that like people know musical theory. I feel like you got pretty far into music. Absolutely. You're great. I was forced to do it long enough that I understood it. And then I switched to guitar and then came back to the piano on my own. And then only then did I start enjoying it. And once you start enjoying it, you do get better. How many years were you forced to do it? Probably like 10. Oh my God. That was probably me too. I was forced to do piano from kindergarten through middle school. And then I started playing clarinet in high school. And then I quit. And then I haven't really played much. How bad. How bad. Because I wanted to play saxophone. Right. Naturally. And then they tell you, well, if you play clarinet, it's actually very easy to switch over to the saxophone. Like once there's more. Because you won't, there's only a certain amount of available spots. Okay. And then you start playing this saxophone or the clarinet. And then you're like, I'm not, like this is impossible to learn. I'm not switching once I learn this. Like that's crazy. In high school, I'm not going to become like a three instrument guy. That's fucking nuts. So I played clarinet. I was really good at it though. Second chair. I was. I was second chair in the hot in the top band, who was first chair. An Asian girl. What's your name? On that one. I don't, I don't do that. I'm not like Francis. This is like, we're giving her credit. I'm platforming these people. They reach out. Thank for thanking me. Oh, really? Hey, everybody told me you mentioned me on your podcast. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't want that. I don't want that at all. Yeah. I name people by their legal names from my life on the show. That's great. Yeah. You're one of my favorite things. I look forward on your Instagram. I couldn't find it. I maybe it was like a story thing that you did. Do you remember when you were waiting for that flight? And there was one first class and you were third in line. Yeah. And people in front of them were a newlywed couple. So it was the drama of him being like, are they going to? Yeah. One of them had the upgrade. Right. And if one of them had taken it, I wouldn't have gotten it. And I was rooting for their love so that they would want to sit together and not take the one remaining seat. Yes. And when I saw them, I was like, I really think you guys have a beautiful congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Yeah. I'm sitting in first class. Yeah. A screwdriver. Love wins. Love wins. Love wins. Love wins. That's what it was. That's so funny. We had another one this weekend. We just talked about it. But you should tell him. Yeah. Yeah. I had, there were, it was a mutt. Well, this was a little different. There was, I had a first class seat, but I was, I usually spend as much time in the lounge as I possibly can until I like to get on the plane at the end. Yeah. And we get into a lounge. What am I doing wrong? Like what? You got to have a hard time. Look, they're, they're a capacity. You don't even need to. They're, honestly, they're, they're terrible. Don't listen to him. Dude, it's like a soup kid. This is a, this is like you, you think you're going to this like luxury, luxurious experience and you got there and there's people like begging for like a slice of fucking pot or a piece up. The, the food they have is like, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you like to eat? Well, it's more about the seclusion. It's, no, there's no seclusion. This is the guy who makes the team and then is like, they sucked anyways. I didn't want to play. I've lit it. Look, trust me. I've been, what it is? I've been in the Delta lunch. I went to the, the, what is it? Centurion. I went to the Centurion. I mean, what are we doing? It's a closet and they have like the haters and you know what, in a week, in a week, he'll be back on, on the lounge and being like, I really like him. See, that's the thing. Like you just, you know, I'll go, it's bullshit, but they're not good. All right, guys, let's talk about our friends over at Draft Kings, Slot's fans. The weight is over. Lightning link is available online for the first time ever and Draft Kings Casino has it. In fact, Draft Kings Casino is your home of Lightning Link. New Casino players can pay five bucks and get 1000 spins, including 500 Lightning Link spins. That's 50 spins a day at varying values for your first 20 days. Strike now, the claim you're offered. Download the Draft Kings Casino app and sign up with code, boy, dad. And spin your Lightning link, high stakes, anywhere, anytime. The crown is yours in partnership with Draft Kings Casinos. I can't wait to get on Lightning Link. You're going to love it when you do. Can't wait. And again, that's, that's download the Draft Kings Casino app and sign up with code, boy, dad and code boy, dad is B-O-Y-D-A-D. The crown is yours in partnership with Draft Kings. Caterhamming problem called 1-800-Gamber. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling called 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. 21 and over, physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, only. Void and Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. Non-withdrawable spins issued as 50 spins per day for 20 days valid for select games only and expire each day after 24 hours. See terms at casino.draftkings.com/promos and July 22nd at 11.59 PM Eastern time. Already guys, let's talk about ZockDoc. This broadcast is brought to you by ZockDoc. ZockDoc lets you search and compare local in network doctors. They have more than 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states. ZockDoc's website has a ton of reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles to help you choose the right one. When I busted my knee, I got onto ZockDoc and I said, where can I get somebody that's going to check out my knee today? I think it was like 10 in the morning by 11.30. I was in a doctor's office. Oh, that's how ZockDoc does it? Is that there? I have my psychiatrist and my therapist are both from ZockDoc. ZockDoc is the best and your health matters. Taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with ZockDoc and to ZockDoc.com/boydad and get started. You can check that appointment off your to-do list that's Z-O-C-D-O-C-D-O-T-C-O-M/boydad. I just have to leave before rush hour. No, no. We'll get you. Oh, okay. Well, there's a defined time for that. Yeah. It's always rush hour. Well, I have to leave before dusk. I'm not sending rush hour traffic. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. What if I sense dusk creeping in, it's probably time for me to hit the road. And that parking garage, by the way, it's, they can't fit any more cars in. And he's like, sure leading, are you sure that it's worse? You know exactly what I'm talking about, just send me to a normal place. You pull in, there's two lanes, the right lane, which we're supposed to, you know, all the cars are parked facing you. So I'm like, I guess, I guess it's full. So I start to back up, but beeping. So then I'm like, I don't know what to do. You drive an 18 wheeler. So I sat there, and that's when you back up. So I was like, maybe a park there, was this is that going to be like a, do I need a fucking, so then I was like, I bet you this is a New York thing. There would probably be a gate so that I went down there. Oh, thank God. No place to stand. And the guys like, yeah, leave it. I'm like, all right. Yeah, they park it for you. You don't like cars? My point is there's no place to park it. But they have to drive into another car. They have secret compartments. They've got elevators. They have all. It's an MC Escher painting in there parking garages in New York City are that and they will find a place that they would never park you. They're like to just stack you in with no space in between. These are Colombians who are somehow the best drivers on planet Earth. Correct. Like they're four million geniuses. They can make any area work. Their spatial awareness is second to none. Correct. I had that where I was returning a car to a rental place a couple weeks ago and there was nowhere to go. I'd said to leave it in the middle of the road. It was a rental. There's like, give it, there's like cars behind. Oh, you can't. There's nowhere for it. Well, there's nowhere for anyone wants to get any of us to go. They had it. What? Just got to see more. What happened? It's, you know, like the car company like sixth. Yeah. Yeah. It was that in Queens by La Guardia. And then the road that it comes onto is a one way and the road goes, it like merges on to like a busier road and it's like a very thin short road and there's just nowhere to go. Yeah. So you just had to leave it. Yeah. Just tell them. No one said anything. No, I had to tell the people. I'm like, I don't know where there's nowhere to go. And then they leave it. But then there's like, it's causing a whole jam. Six is the sexy car rental option though. Really? Yeah. I think it's like sexy in European. Yeah. It's not true. You say your clock, too. Yeah. It hurts sexy. I'll be honest. I tried to. I tried to do that thing that you were talking about with the card with Hertz. I'm gold. I'm a gold member. And I showed up to La Guardia and my name was not on the thing. There's something else you have to do. I had this happen to me recently and then I made it in line for an hour. I know. And it broke. Like the questions. People got to stop asking so many fucking questions. Like, oh, we got the, what did you want? You wanted a big car? Okay. We can do this. Uh, Tahoe. Well, I don't know if the talk does the Tahoe have, like, and it's like, why does it matter? Why do you care? It's all the same. Shit. It's a car. A lot of these people don't travel. So it's daunting to them. I need to do it. It was like their first time out of the house. One of the guys definitely travels business guy, he switched cars three times. Oh, that's insane. It's like, bro, at a certain point, you're just an asshole. Yeah. I agree. Like, you see us all waiting here and you're waiting to get like the perfect fit for your fucking fat body because he's fat. He was a fat guy. He's a fat guy. Yeah. Well, then say, I mean, at least with that. So we could all get on the same page. We're fat hating. I don't know. It's just the questions in rage me hotels checking in people asking about the incidental charges. Like, they, they get to hit with it's going to be $200 in incidentals. It's like a flash grenade to the face for those people. They're like, they can't comprehend what that is. But that's just, that's, they don't, they don't, they know, they, it's coming back to them. Yes. Exactly. And they don't understand that. So Americans can't, they can't stomach a $200 bonus charge. I mean, I get it. They just have an valor at all time. There would be like, dude, checking in and they would have to like bring the hotel clerk to the side so they could like whisper to them, be like, dude, the way my account set up. Like, I don't have $200 extra dollars. Yeah. And have to reset it. So nasty time. And it's like, well, that's fine. Just don't touch anything. Yeah. Make sure you don't rip the TV off the wall. Yeah. Yeah. It's not much to break in the room. Anyway, you're, you're leaving the delta lounge after a long time. Oh, I forgot. We were talking about that. Yeah. Yeah. We were in the middle of the story. This wasn't a side. Uh, what did I, what was you leaving the delta lounge and there's two women? Oh, yeah. I, I leave the lounge. I get to my flight. There's only two people left waiting and that have not boarded the plane. And this is on your Instagram now. No, I don't post about this. This is a personal one. But I overheard them talking and they were like, yeah, there's two seats left in first class. And if the one person who has one doesn't show up, we'll get both of them. And I heard them say that as I was like coming. And then I, he lurked behind and waited until the last second before the door is closed and then fucking claimed to see why would you do that? That's sick. What do you mean? I, there's no need to clarify what I meant. I wasn't doing it to punish them. I didn't know they were going to be there and like hoping for the upgrade. Wait, but he said, but you, but when you found out that they were ready, that they, they got that piece of information. They were just saying that and then he, and then he waited and he, he, he bought, he bought a vodka straight and he's pulling your leg, I didn't wait. I was. But as far as those women are concerned, you, you, you might as well, like you did wait, but you didn't know that they were the victims. What I wanted to do is scan my ticket and wait to hear them be like, ah, how he lost it. Because that would have made me happy. Why? Because shame on them for thinking the world would be handed to them on a silver platter. I had to use a global upgrade certificate to get me from premium economy into Delta one on a flight home, global upgrade for a domestic flight from California. Wow. You got those global upgrades certificates by dint of how much I travel for work. So that, I didn't get anything they did not have. I didn't get any of this year. Just regional. Yeah. Regional. And no one wants that. Yeah. I can get an upgrade from New York to Boston. Did you fight, fight a Greensboro first class when you went? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Regional upgrade. It was a regional upgrade. Yeah. It's $100,000, $100,000 MQD's I can gift diamond medallion on Delta. This is someone else. I got you. Sorry. You'll love it. Come and write to you. Diamond medallion. What is that? It sounds. Oh. It's the highest tier. You can. Well, it's actually not. It's all we talk about. It's literally all we ever talk about. It respires. Diamond medallion. Diamond medallion. Two episodes. And I'm in recovery now. No more Coke for me. I kicked it. All that. Okay. Okay. I think that's a fair trade off. I'm talking. No, don't. Don't bring anything of this up, please. One episode for diamond medallion. One for a spot on the road for the tour. Yeah. And I feel like diamond medallions worth at least, I mean, he needs to be in the trailer. We need like, I have my own trailer for season two. Oh, really? It was awesome. One day I had the small one and then the other day I had the big one. Yeah. Next to Shane. Yeah. With that room is huge. You can sleep and nap in that. Oh, you meant like a trailer, like a preview, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. I just got so confused. Sorry. Sorry. I said, I had my own trailer. I thought you meant your own preview. Like the preview video. Shane got the Bluetooth to my trailer this year, so I could imagine what it hit you with. I don't think I should say the nog. What's that? Uh, of course that, uh, something more nasty than porn, uh, yeah. But then the music that I hate. But uh, what's up? Like Springsteen. Yeah. The, um, going from season one to season two was a really cool experience. It was awesome. You can only imagine what going from season two to season two must have been incredible. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. It was incredible. No. No, no, no. The crafty must have been better. That was so different. Oh, that's good. Yeah. You missed. Okay. You missed nothing. Every time we would eat on set, I would feel sick after every single time. It's not. Yeah. And you do that for like months, well, I'm there for a week. Yeah. Well, I, I, I, because we get an, an executive assistant. So I, I go, Oh, please, give me something else. I, I, I, I, because we get an executive assistant. I, I, I, I, I, I, I just would gorge. I would eat so much of the prepared food. Oh, you liked it. Well, there's food out. I eat like I'm a laboratory teacher. I can't not eat all of them. Is that right? Yeah. Have a problem. Is it a pro? Or are you just like trying to pack on mass with like, I just forever been a very hungry person. And I have this feeling that if I stop eating in such enormous quantities, my metabolism will slow down. And then I'll gain weight. Interesting. I attribute somewhat of, of my physique to how much I eat. Interesting. And I've no idea. Have you ever been overweight? No. Nice. Never. Never once. I would kill myself. Well, you've never been obese. But I mean, your BMI is probably like, you are, yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're probably like overweight for your height because you're so he is, he's fat, that calculation is really outdated. And obviously everyone knows it's flawed because by that, those metrics, the rock is also obese. He is. He's fat ass. He's a senior obese. That's a regular day for Francis, the rocks cheat day. Yeah. I can't get that crafty. What kind of stuff are they like, is it like a plate or like a tin of fish, or some shit like that, or like a bunch of chickens lined up? - There would always be like some mother and father and daughter who are like a barbecue family. They're like, dry our chickens. You're like, I don't know what that is. - And you don't want that for lunch. - Just piles of sausages with onions and peppers. - I mean, having barbecue was your midday meal. It has an actor. - You're like seven more hours on my feet after this. - Or you had to look presentable. I mean, like a camera guy, a grip or something like that. They can load up and they don't give a fuck. - And I was always like, you'd have makeup on. And one of my outfits, I had to wear a leather jacket over a hoodie and I just was so hot, which luckily, like, helped me act because my character was just so fucking, you know. But making you laugh was of my favorite thing. - Oh my God. - On the show. - So funny. - When, remember when I took your seat in the office? - Yeah. - You were just so good. - Oh. - Yeah. - That's not why I brought it. - I still go back and rewatch the, you, from the first episode, from the first season, you making chain break. - Yeah, that was fun too. - That's, that's such a fun. I'll take chain and chain Frances. - I'm glad I got to be in the blooper reel. I like the bloopers. - Is there always been a blooper guy? - Is there anything that we need to know about season three or just going raw? - Yeah, I think raw, raw? Just, yeah. - Love that. - Awesome. August, what? - 13th, my dad's birthday, come on. - Right on the corner. - Really soon. Cool, check that out on Netflix. That's season three, congratulations. - Thank you. - Thanks. - Thanks for coming. - Thanks for having me. - We'll be having fun. - Sure. - You and I are due for some golf. - You guys gotta play some golf. - Yeah. - Cool. - Oh, no, no, no. You gotta come on up. Are you gonna go down to play golf with them? - He's never gonna go down. - I will come up. - I will come up. - What about like marrying or something like that or somewhere nice? - No, no. - I got to play in East. - Yeah. - Yeah, with the Eagles Autism Foundation. - Oh, no, it's incredible. - Yeah. - Is that Karna Barwin or who is that? - I don't know, but still, it was sick. What do you mean? Like who's that? - Is there somebody that runs that from the Eagles side? - She, well, yeah, she, a woman. - Yeah. - And the first time, 'cause the week before I got to play with Jason Kelsey as an event, and that was at Rolling Green. And I was like, passing this woman that, every time I'd pass her, she'd be like, "And then this quarter, I made X amount of millions." And then there's X amount of millions. And I'm like, "What a fuck, I'm psycho." - Yeah. - Talking, I was like, "God of you, Reelder." - Yeah. - But she was the charge of the Eagles Autism Foundation. So she was just talking about how much money she's paying. - She was like, "All you have to do to play marrying is get diagnosed." (laughing) - It'll be making millions. - She's awesome, right? And, yeah. - So, how was it? - They're playing on fucking. - Really? - Incredible. - Marians really cool. - Yeah. - All come down. I wanna play your course. He's a member of the same course that Sequan Barkley's a member of. - No, Sequan's out there. But Radley Run is the course we're gonna play. - I thought Sequan had joined your club. - No. - He thought about it. - He sounded NDA. - Yeah. - Well, that's, what do you end up home with? (laughing) - I don't know. - Yeah. - He's a big time golfer. - Yeah. - Love that. - I grew up right by alcohol. - I've never played over-bruck. - No. - It's nice. - Yeah. - Over-bruck. - Over-bruck's awesome. - It's decent. - Sequan will always be a giant in my eyes. - He's just trolling now, bro. He's talking to two Philly fucking autism. - He really had. - He really had. - When he was in New York. - He had something to him. - He's a super-bolt champ, bro. Don't put fucking sweat on his name. - No, let's do it. - No, you told what happened. - No touchdowns in the Super Bowl, though. - You know that. - You need to run forwards. - Yeah. - Kind of forgot how to play in the Super Bowl. - AJ Brown is spasming on the Patriots. - Yeah, it's fine. - You really get it right. - He can't get it. - We're going to get into separation. The balls are hitting him in the hands, and Mike Raeble has been fucking reaming him out. He even admitted it. - Will you have company? (laughing) - Raeble's going to get him right. I mean, that's the thing that's nice about having a good coach who played the game. - Nick Siriani played the game. - In what? - A-U? - College. - A-U. - College. - At what? Where? - He got out before he destroyed his body. - Mad. - He'd be walking around like the fucking rock. Like, uh, it's not neither here nor there. John Cena. - Will you think of Siriani? - Thank you. - Siriani. - You like Siriani? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Even Malone. He's our fucking guess. (laughing) - Shut up. - Thank you, bro. - Thank you. - That was awesome.