Speaker 1hey rock stars reggie dawson your host of the being on stage podcast it has been quite some time may has been a crazy crazy month i'll tell you well you can tell by the title of this that we're talking about stepping back taking a break changing course all that good stuff and i want to i want to kind of unload a little bit about what's been going on with me and kind of i guess share some personal stuff in a way uh not really stuff i typically talk about on this podcast because this is all about performing on stage and uh you know connecting with your audience and building up your fan base and everything like that and i truly truly love helping performers do all three of those things it's that's like that's my life's goal if you will so uh about a month ago uh this podcast migrated to the 2.0 version of my hosting platform for those of you that are not familiar with podcasting um there's a website hosting platform and then there's a podcast hosting platform my podcast hosting platform upgraded me which you would think is fantastic and wonderful um and uh it was it really was i mean the dashboard everything i get to see is great and everything but it also kind of hit pretty hard that and this is this is like raw honesty here folks i may not even edit this episode but it also hit pretty hard that my downloads and my plays were significantly less than they were on the 1.0 dashboard and i'm not you know i shouldn't really complain because listen uh downloads or downloads plays or plays you guys you guys are getting something out of this otherwise you wouldn't keep playing and and that's i'm i am grateful i'm not i'm not whining and complaining here don't don't get me wrong i consider this a form of performing if you will i also speak um and i emcee events here and there and right now i'm kind of in a hiatus of being on stage not the podcast but the actual act of performing on stage a couple of different reasons one um medical reasons i'm not able to do the things that i used to do and family reasons i'm not able to perform at the time of day that i used to perform at more of a family man now and not of a you know 2 a.m 3 a.m type of guy um it's not really my shtick anymore you know i'm in my 30s i want to start new businesses and new adventures in my life and you know my family and everything but uh i'll tell you having this hit me so hard this last month that i mean when i say significantly lower downloads and plays i mean like i was approaching 10 000 total which is not really a lot considering i've been doing this a year and a half and i got cut down to under four thousand and uh it burned like it i i sent them an email i i didn't understand it at all and i still i still don't 100 understand it so i mean that hit me pretty hard and you know listen i i talk a big game and i'll recognize that i talk a big game about you know getting back up on your feet and keep moving forward and doing it and going after your dreams and listen by no means have i considered giving up my dream of coaching performers but you know seeing that happen it's kind of kind of made me reevaluate where i'm going with being on stage and where this podcast is going and i'm happy to say that i did make some decisions and everything but it took that took that time of stepping back and and kind of looking at it from the outside and seeing what it is compared to what i wanted it to be and then what it really could be and there's a couple of different directions i'm taking one i'm going to share all of those with you but i just want to continue kind of going through the last month of what's been going on so on top of that i've shared this a couple episodes i have another side business that i really want to that i've really been working to get off the ground it's all about beard care my products came in early i ended up getting an earlier launch date than i anticipated i don't know if any of you have ever launched anything um as far as like a business or anything it's only a local thing it's nothing national i'm not selling on amazon anything like that like i'm doing pop-up shops type stuff and it's uh it just it just it came a lot faster than i originally thought it was going to be i thought my supplier was going to take a little longer i thought shipping times were going to be longer i had my products in three days uh in which and was like a month sooner than i thought i was going to have them and it it sped everything up and so i mean i i got a little distracted by my side business but i did need to take that time to step back and and look at what being on stage has become and what the future of being on stage is going to be and this podcast is all is usually about performing but i'm kind of i'm updating you on me as well so i've done a lot of evaluating of where i want this to go and what i want it to be and i made some decisions um you know i listen to other podcasts myself i listen to podcasts about motivation inspiration business entrepreneurship things like that performing other performing podcasts which there are not many but i do listen to some of them and i decided that i wanted to take a little a lot actually not a little a lot more direct approach at attracting performers and and helping performers and really kind of putting myself out there as hey i'm not just this guy that sits behind this microphone you know i i coach you but this this time that i've taken it's it's reminded me of a couple of things that happened when i was performing you know there was a time in oh god now it must have been like two thousand ten or so um so we're talking eight to ten years ago but there was a time when the trajectory of my performing career was headed down a dangerous and dark dark path i mean i was i was that person that got easily jealous i was that person that was i was jealous like that's that's that's the that's the best way to sum it up it was insane jealousy of other people's success and that's it's a poison really jealousy is a poison to your own career and i didn't know that at the time and it it took learning some hard lessons but i was jealous to the point of i would i would make up things against other performers and i would spread them around and not not often and not not a lot but one particular thing i may i made up was this the slam i guess uh of this group of performers and it became like an inside joke between me and like four or five of other performers and as it started to grow we started to share the joke with more people um it got shared with the group of performers that it was about and what started as a group slam of you know three of us and four of us that put this together and it ended up resting solely on my shoulders and truthfully it it was my fault i'm the one that made it up i'm the one that suggested that these group of performers are egotistical and overconfident need to be taken down a few pegs which they didn't need to be they're amazing performers they're amazing at what they do and i i fully 100 regret what i've done to them but i made up some really bad stuff and when i say really bad i'm not talking like legal stuff i'm not talking like people were in danger here i'm talking drama i'm talking bs dramatic crap that's what i'm talking some of the stuff i said was true but i kind of exaggerated it to an extreme extent um pair that with the fact that i had this this way about me that i would not approach people in the in the club or in the venue that i perform as a house name you know so i wouldn't approach people i had this expectation that they would come to i was like the freaking godfather or something like people had to pay homage or pay tribute to me when i walked in like that's that's the best way to sum it up and as i say it now like it it makes me feel like a complete douche and i mean i probably was to be fair and honest but at that time when i was in my douchery and you know spreading things about all these performers and have these expectations of you know pay tribute to your king uh if you will it it came to a time that i needed to step back and i needed to take take a moment and really look at where my career has been where it's headed and where i originally wanted it to go and unfortunately at that point i didn't get to make that decision that decision was made for me as everything came crashing down and all my secrets got discovered and all my crap talking got discovered and turned around on me i mean some some of the things that were said about me were not necessarily true but i guess that's why they call it karma i talked a lot of not true crap about other people so the same thing happened to me and i paid for it i paid for it big i got fired like big time fired like called up three days before a show and said hey you're not working here anymore period um oh that's the other thing i did i was going to make an entire show slamming the show director at this venue and because i didn't like some of the things that she had said and some of the things that she had did and i still don't and that's okay you know no one not everyone's gonna like you you can't be everyone's cup of tea and truth be told there are already people that don't like you even if they don't tell you so accept it and that's something i couldn't accept though either as i couldn't accept that people didn't like me but i had no problem not liking other people so it was made a decision that i got fired and not only did i got fired get fired but because of what i did There was no other places that I could perform or that would have me in like three counties. So, and I, I laugh about this now because it truly is insane, but because I got fired or terminated or whatever you want to call it, it forced me to take some time and really think about where I was in my career. And in doing so, what I did was I went an entire like three or four weeks without even going to this venue. Like in my head, I was boycotting and protesting because I was above this. So I was going to show them. I just wasn't even going to show up anymore, which I mean, it's a club who cares. There's hundreds of people there. One person didn't make a difference. That's the other thing is if you're going to boycott something like it can't be just you and your wife boycotting it. That makes no difference. And it was stupid to even try. But anyways, in my mind, I was boycotting. So like. Three weeks after this, I ended up going and meeting up with somebody there just in the parking lot like they needed to borrow some cash or something or I need to borrow cash. I don't remember what it was, but I just remember meeting up with someone in the parking lot to I think I was borrowing money for gas so that I could get home because I was I was on a motorcycle at the time. So I borrowed like five bucks so I could get home. It was like one o'clock in the morning. I had to be later than that because the bar was getting out. So it's probably like two o'clock in the morning. But anyways, I pulled up and there's like this group. A bunch of people and a bunch of people that I used to hang out with and everything. And there was like three fights going on, not physical fights, just like, oh, yeah, talk crap, other, you know, all those cuss words and everything. People are drunk. They're in the parking lot. They're talking crap. You slept with my man. She slept with him. And these two are probably sleeping with each other. It's all crap, really. It's all bull. And I'm looking around at this and I'm like, oh, my God, I was a part of this. This was this is my life. This is my life. This is my life. Like, this is where I was home to and what I was involved in. Three weeks now, mind you, three weeks after I was fired. I'm having all these realizations of all the drama and all the BS and everything. And so I really took some time and I really thought about where I wanted things to go. A few months later, you know, I came back. I approached the show director. I apologized. I let her know I learned my lesson. I asked to come back. I didn't want to come back on a permanent basis. I wanted to just be and just be able to come for their opening. Open mic nights and for their open talent show. Like, I didn't even want to make any commitment. I didn't want to take on any pay. I wanted to perform on my terms when I wanted to perform and when they had an opening. That's it. And I was allowed to do that. And for like six months, I performed two to three times a month with zero pay. Zero pay. Not because I didn't deserve it. Not because I was crappy. Not because they were punishing me. Because I made that choice. I made that choice to say, you know what? I'm going to do this because I love it. Not because I need the money. Not because I need to get paid. Not because I need to be famous. Not because I need to be king and have everybody know who I am. Because I love putting my talent out there and sharing it with people. And so I performed for free. And I loved it. I did some of my best shows that year. God, I did some of my, some of the most amazing things. Met some of the most amazing people. That was the year I was invited to Boston. That was the year that I was invited to Melbourne, Florida. That was the year I was invited down South Florida. It was an incredible, incredible year for me. All because I took a moment. I stepped back. I re-evaluated what I wanted to do. And then I came back and did it. And that's, that's really what I'm doing here, guys. Like, if you've made it this far in the podcast, thanks, first of all, for listening to all my story. Second of all, I want to do the same thing with this podcast. I want to do the same thing with being on stage, you know? I took some time away. And I'm not, like, three months away. I took a couple weeks away. And I've been really, really thinking about what I really wanted to accomplish with this podcast when I started it. And, you know, yeah, I could, I can build out this membership site where you can come and watch videos about how to perform better on stage. And I could build out this amazing, you know, video training course to send you. And you could join the Facebook group. We could share performances. And I could help you. Or, and this is what I ultimately decided to do. Or I can just tell you, hey, listen. Go to beingonstage.com slash calendar. Select a time. And let's talk about what you want to work on for your performance, for your talent. Sky's the limit. You're stuck. Don't know where to go. I'm here for you. You're trying to get started. I'm here for you. You've got to show that you're just trying to figure out one little thing that you just, one little part that just isn't coming to you. I'm here for you. It's 100% no charge. This is me coming back. Doing what I love. Fulfilling the purpose that I started this podcast for. So, it's an active website. Beingonstage.com slash calendar. And let's chat. Let's finally talk about you specifically. Looking forward to it. I really am. You know, keep listening to the podcast. If you like what you hear and you want to hear more, hit subscribe. Leave a five-star rating. All that good stuff. I greatly appreciate it. And above everything else. Keep on shining.
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