Stephanie Langlitz | Betrayal Weekly

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Once again, that's V-E-R-A-C-I-T-Y health.co for up to 55% off and make sure you use my promo code IHEART so they know I sent you. Hi everyone, it's Andrea. Before we start this episode, I want to let you know that we will be talking explicitly about the realities of child sexual abuse. So please be mindful with this episode. I remember everything. That man for so long, had so much control over me. I cannot just stand by and do nothing. You will not get away with this. I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust the most and the deceptions that change everything. Today, we are sharing Stephanie's story. Stephanie grew up in upstate New York near Albany with her parents and siblings. My parents had a very tumultuous relationship. I don't think I coped with the chaos well. I spent a lot of time in my room. In her room, it was quiet. Looking out her window at the woods of upstate New York, Stephanie dreamed of a sunny and bright faraway place, Los Angeles. I just had this obsession with the glitz and the glamour and how exciting it was. And especially for a little girl in upstate New York where it snows and it's gray and it's gross. L.A. always just had this sunshine to it and always looked like it would be a very happy place. She hoped she could live there one day. As Stephanie got older, her parents started arguing more and more. Home was an exhausting place to be. Her parents split up and got back together often. That coincided with really difficult middle school years. Friends would come and go and it was really difficult dealing with that in tandem with things that were going on with my parents. When Stephanie was in seventh grade, her parents announced that their family would be moving across the country to Tucson, Arizona. I absolutely did not want to move to Arizona. I was quite literally kicking and screaming. You can't even stay together for a year. Why the hell are we moving across the country? But Tucson did have one major perk. It was closer to L.A. They're like, look, we can drive from Tucson, Hollywood anytime you want. If you stop, we'll take you to Hollywood on a trip. So that kind of softened the blow a little bit. But when she arrived at her new middle school, she struggled to make friends. The girls in her grade were not welcoming. Girls are just mean. If anyone has been a middle school girl, you know that they can be very unkind. She spent most of her time at school alone and life at home was not much of a comfort. Her parents were still arguing all the time. It was lonely. When I was in eighth grade, I started drinking and smoking weed and started hanging out with girls that were a little bit older than I was. And that whole time, that whole summer in between eighth grade and ninth grade was just a lot of drinking in the desert. The desert stretched fast and shapeless around her. She couldn't figure out where she belonged in this landscape. There were signs that I was unraveling. I had withdrawn a lot. Stephanie's mom noticed a change in her and was concerned. So she took her to see a doctor. I remember being hunched over. Looking down. And I remember thinking, this is how he's going to know that I'm depressed because I can't even sit up straight. That's when I was diagnosed with depression. Her doctor prescribed her antidepressants. Just a few weeks later, Stephanie started her freshman year of high school. I went into my freshman year very much alone, feeling very much isolated, very much broken. I felt like I didn't really have anybody. On the first day of school, Stephanie went from class to class, meeting her teachers and new classmates. I go into my Spanish class and the teacher, Mark Lindrud, is standing there. It was very evident right away that he was trying to come off as that young, cool, hip teacher. Like, I want to relate to you guys. While his life sounded exotic, he would say, I went to Spain, and I ran with the Bulls. He was still relatable. He was very into sports. He was one of the JV coaches on the football team and loved Star Wars. He used to teach in L.A., so that perked my ears of, oh, cool, like, this teacher used to live in L.A. Like, awesome, I love L.A. Some kids thought Mr. Lindrud was kind of cheesy, but he always made class fun. And he was only 26 years old. And so I'm like, okay, he's not that much older than us. He is kind of the young, hip teacher, but he's not that much older. Stephanie's high school had a period in the mornings, before classes started, called zero hour. If you needed to do homework or you needed extra help, you could go in. At that point, I didn't really want to be home at all. So I started going to the zero hour. One day during zero hour, Stephanie was walking through the hallways, trying to find a place to do her homework. I walked by Mr. Lindrud's room, and there was no one in there, or maybe, maybe one or two people. And I said, okay, this looks like a safe place for me to go to. She stepped into his classroom. His room felt safe because it was quiet. There wasn't arguing, there weren't people yelling. She sat down and did her homework. The next day, she came back to his classroom in the morning. Mr. Lindrud was always welcoming. It was just sometimes me and him, sometimes other people. Soon, she was going to Mr. Lindrud's room during zero hour most days. There, she didn't have to worry about the mean girls in her grade or her parents' arguments. I'd had so many friends at different schools hurt me, and I really didn't trust other students. Mr. Lindrud was easier to talk to. He asked her lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in her life. Where are you from? How long have you lived here? And then he started opening up a little bit about, I came from Texas, I have an ex-fiance, he trusted me with personal information, and it filled this void that I wasn't feeling with friends or with my family. He was really the only person who would sit down and listen to me and hear me, and I just didn't have anyone else like that in my life at that time. One day, Stephanie asked to use his computer for a homework assignment. And I'm on his computer, and he had his AOL instant messenger up. And that, in a way, almost made me feel like I was going to die. It almost added to him being that cool, relatable teacher, because it's like, oh, we're on instant messenger as students. Oh, you're on instant messenger? That's cool. A message popped up from a woman named Amanda. He's like, oh, that's just my friend Amanda from L.A. Just tell her, you know, you're a student using my computer. And then another one popped up, and he's like, oh, that's my ex-girlfriend. Just tell her I'm busy or that you're a student or whatever. Oh, he trusts me to respond to all these people in his life. And Stephanie was starting to trust him, too. It became sort of a friendship. And it started to feel like a very safe place for me to be in his room. Eventually, Mr. Lindrud told her that she could ditch the formal way of addressing him. So he stopped being Mr. Lindrud, her Spanish teacher, and became Mark, her friend. There was one day that I had left school, and I had a question about my Spanish homework. And because I had been responding through his AIM to people, obviously I knew what his screen name was. So she sent him a message on AIM, asking how to conjugate a verb in Spanish. Mark responded. He was very professional, and he explained it to me, and I apologized. Sorry to reaching out to you here. I just wanted to make sure I got the homework done. And he said, it's okay. Soon, Stephanie started messaging Mark with homework questions more often. He would help her. And then their messages moved to other topics. He would say, what are you doing? Or what are you up to? Or what are your plans this weekend? He made me feel like I could just talk to him about anything that was going on in my life, and that I could trust him. There was part of me that kept thinking, like, is this weird? Is this appropriate? Like, should we be having this conversation? But also, he is just being nice and friendly, and maybe he does recognize that I just need a friend. If he was offering friendship, she would take it, even if it was a little unusual. Then one day, a few weeks later, Mark suggested that they hang out outside of school. He asked me, is there a park by your house? Is there anywhere we could meet? And I happened to live across the street from this giant park. He told her to meet him there on Friday night. When Friday night came, Stephanie told her parents, she was meeting a friend and started walking to the park. This is when I started to feel nervous. What are we meeting at the park for? 50% of me thought it was weird, but 50% of me also said, well, this feels safe because he's meeting me in a very public place. All of my neighbors are there. A lot of people from our school are going to be there, so this must be okay because it's a very, very public park. He made me feel like we were friends at that point, and I really didn't have anyone else to hang out with, especially on a Friday night. When she got to the park, a green SUV pulled into the parking lot, and Mark stepped out. He looked different than he did at school. He had a hat on. He has this very distinct bald head. So I remember thinking, okay, that's kind of a disguise, so maybe this isn't okay that we're meeting up. And I started to feel really uneasy. He starts walking toward me very aggressively, and he just picks me up and kisses me. And I just froze. It never occurred to me that that's what was going to happen. As a 14-year-old, Stephanie was overwhelmed and confused. I didn't know what to do. My brain couldn't process what was happening. Stephanie walked home from the park that night, desperately trying to make sense of this. Mark was her teacher, and she thought he was her friend. What just happened? To risk being in this park, to risk his teaching. I'm like, he must really like me to be willing to do that. After that night, Mark began messaging Stephanie more and more. And then he started driving over to her house and parking his car outside on the street. It would be later at night, and so I would just go outside and sit in his car with him. He would have me get in the back seat and make out, and then I would just go outside and sit in his car with him. And then I would have to go to school the next week, like nothing had ever happened. It was disorienting. He's coming over to make out with me. He's also my teacher, but I'm sitting in his class, and nobody knows. And it was a very, very confusing spot to be in, feeling uncomfortable, but just feeling like someone cared, that someone cared about me enough to listen to me and want to be around me. Mark was grooming her. Grooming is a term used to describe the process perpetrators use to control their victims. They start by gaining their victims' trust, then isolating them from their community, labeling their own abuse as a shared secret, and finally, controlling and coercing their victim into staying silent. He started telling me, you can never say a word to anybody, you can never say anything, because it's my dream to be a big football coach. And if you tell anyone my dream is ruined, my life is ruined, I will be blacklisted in everything that I want to do if you tell anyone. And what are people going to say about you if they know this is happening? Stephanie did what he asked. She didn't tell anyone. I couldn't process what was actually happening. So Mark processed it for her. He told her, Now we've taken this relationship a little bit of a step further, and we trust each other more to do this. In a weird way, I think this secrecy made me feel like we had this special trusting relationship. But keeping this secret meant Mark quickly became the only person she could talk to. She couldn't talk to anyone else about what was really happening. So Mark became Stephanie's closest connection, and her only one. I went into the school year isolated, and now I'm even more isolated because I can't tell anyone what's going on. I can't tell everyone who I'm hanging out with at night. I was rewarded for my silence with attention. With the attention that I wasn't getting anywhere else. In early January, Stephanie went to Mark's house to watch a football game. That was the first night he raped her. I was just very confused. I think I froze. I couldn't make sense of it happening. And then as soon as he was done, and was like getting dressed, he said, I guess this makes you my girlfriend now. Every time Stephanie was uncomfortable or confused or frozen, Mark jumped in to explain her own feelings to her. He told her, this is what trust felt like. Maybe he does really care about me and love me because he was risking everything. And he was risking that for me. Mark told Stephanie he was in love with Stephanie He made it seem like it was an actual relationship. For Valentine's Day, he took me to the drive-in and we saw How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I'll never forget. Stephanie saved the ticket stub. She put it in a box with other mementos from her time with Mark. Mark started inviting Stephanie over to his house. She told her parents she was at a friend's. And when she was over, he told her it was only fair for her to pitch in with household chores. It wasn't uncommon for me to clean his house. In fact, it was an expectation. He would have me fold his shirts a very specific way. He explained to Stephanie that this is what being in a relationship was like. She believed him. As he was getting closer to me and making me feel special, he started somewhat flirting with this other girl girl that I was friends with, and I started to feel jealous because I'm like, oh, I'm losing his attention. One day, that girl mentioned something about Coach, which is what a lot of students called Mark. Hearing her talk about Mark, Stephanie couldn't keep their secret in any longer. I just snapped and I was like, Coach is the one who's been texting me. We're like hanging out. And she just went silent. A few days later, Stephanie was at school when she was asked to see the guidance counselor. He looked at me and he said, are you having a relationship with Mr. Lindrud? And I said, no. I denied it because he had put the fear of God in me that if I told anyone my life was over, let alone my life, his life. So of course I was going to be silent because I didn't want to be the person who was going to be the one who was going to be the one who was going to be the one who crushed his dreams and ruined his life. If you've ever tried to find a psychiatrist who takes your insurance, you know how frustrating it can be. Long wait lists, no availability, or finding out they don't accept your insurance at all. That's why I'm excited to tell you about Talkiatry. Talkiatry is a 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, and more. Unlike therapy-only platforms, Talkiatry connects you with licensed medical providers who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. Their 800-plus clinicians are in-network with major insurers, and getting started is simple. Just complete a short online assessment, get matched with a clinician who fits your needs, and you can schedule your first appointment in days, not months. Plus, you'll continue seeing the same provider so your treatment can grow with you over time. Head to talkiatry.com slash betrayal to complete this short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. You need credit to buy, well, pretty much anything. So how do you get started? Easy, the OnePay Builder Card. It's simple and smart. OnePay is the banking app trusted by millions of Americans, and the OnePay Builder Card is an easy way to build credit. Just use it to make everyday purchases, build your credit history, and then you can work up to the big milestones, buying a new car or a new house. You know how much work and how many little steps went into getting there, so finally reaching that milestone just feels amazing. Those moments start with small, consistent steps with the OnePay Builder Card. Not a bank. Banking services provided by Coastal Community Bank or Lead Bank, member FDIC. NMLS ID 2460509. Gaining weight no matter how disciplined you are, craving something sweet after every meal, feeling hungry, an hour after you eat. This episode is sponsored by Veracity, a modern metabolic health brand. It's doctor-formulated, clinically-backed, side-effect-free, no extreme diets, no needles. So before Metabolism Ignite sells out again, head to veracityhealth.co and use code IHEART for up to 55% off your daily diet. This episode is sponsored by Veracity, a modern metabolic once again, that's V-E-R-A-C-I-T-Y health.co for up to 55% off and make sure you use my promo code IHEART so they know I sent you. After Stephanie told a classmate that she was hanging out with their Spanish teacher, the guidance counselor called Stephanie into his office. He asked her if anything inappropriate was going on with Mr. Lindrud. Stephanie denied it. Of course, I was going to be silent because I didn't want to be the person who crushed his dreams and ruined his life. School administrators questioned Mr. Lindrud as well. He said nothing happened. The school was like, well, they say nothing's going on. And they didn't do any investigation. There was nothing further. But rumors had already started spreading through the school. As a heads up, these comments are cruel and hard to hear. People were calling me teacher fucker. And people were like, oh, I saw her under his desk. And that just further isolated me more and more. I already didn't have friends. And now I'm being labeled a slut, a whore. She was shamed. The few people she was friendly with at school started avoiding eye contact. When she walked down the hallway, she could hear the girls in her grade whispering about her as she passed. One day, someone said something really horrible straight to her face. And the principal was in the hallway. And I went up to him sobbing. And I said, I'm the student that these rumors are about. Make it stop. Please make it stop. And he said, well, I can't just get on the loudspeaker and tell everyone that it's not true. I want to pause here for a moment. When I heard this part of Stephanie's story, I was shocked by how many adults knew what was going on and didn't do anything about it. I think about how alone she must have felt. Stephanie was trying to protect Mark. But nobody was protecting her. Now the idea of telling the truth felt even more impossible. I was just in so much pain and withdrawal from everything because the worst possible thing was happening to me. And through it all, the only person she could talk about this with was Stephanie. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That brought me closer to him because I didn't have anybody. So the rumors and the hurt made me turn to him. For her entire freshman year, Mark was the only person Stephanie really felt was in her corner. Then at the end of the school year, Mark took a job teaching elsewhere. I think he got spooked and he left. But leaving wasn't an option for Stephanie. That summer, Mark introduced her to his parents. He lied to them and said I was 19. I was 15. But it made me feel so mature and so much older. And that's what everyone when you're a teenager wants to feel. Mark's parents welcomed Stephanie in. They would have me over for dinner and his mom was giving me books to read. His mom was giving us restaurant recommendations. They're like, oh, next time you're going to have a restaurant, before you guys go to the drive-in, you should go to this pizza place and get the calzone. Mark and Stephanie spent nearly every day together. We went to the beach and I have photos of us at the beach together. Having him act that way, it was like, OK, this is real. This is a relationship. I had nothing to compare it to, but it felt real. Mark told everyone they met that Stephanie was 19. And he asked her to lie about her age if people asked. He said age was just a number. At some point, I really started to believe that I was older. That's how much he had me lying to people that I truly, in some weird way, was like, oh, no, I'm 19. Stephanie got a fake ID. For Mark's birthday that year, they went out to a bar to celebrate. We went to this New Orleans-themed bar. And if you flash your breasts, you get beads. And the whole time we were there, he just kept encouraging me to, like, flash the bartenders to get more drinks. Just sexualizing me. This whole entire bar saw me topless. For almost two years, Mark had been her gateway to the rest of the world. I couldn't drive. I couldn't go anywhere. If I wanted to do anything, he would pick me up. He would drive me. I had to be completely, completely dependent on him. Relying on Mark was beginning to feel suffocating. A few weeks after his birthday, Stephanie's sister came to town. So I went out with my big sister and her friends, and I was feeling so. much freer because I did not have to depend on him for attention or something to do. That year, Stephanie turned 16 and got her driver's license. And that is definitely where things started to change for me gradually. I started being able to go outside his bubble a lot more. I'm seeing healthy relationships. My world opened up to so much because I had been so sheltered by him. She was still going over to Mark's house a lot, and he was still asking her to clean up and do laundry for him. One day, she was at his house by herself. I just remember there being a lot of papers everywhere. And I'm like, I need to organize this. I can't stare at these papers anymore. She went to put them in a filing cabinet. That's when a document caught her eye. And that's when I found his birth certificate. I pulled it out, and I looked at it. I'm not good at math, but I'm doing the math in my head when I'm sitting there as a 16-year-old. I'm like, holy shit, he's 32. Mark had told her he was 28, four years younger than he actually was. As she stood there staring at his birth certificate, she had a moment of clarity. Clearly, you know you're doing something. If you're lying to tell me that you're younger. And that's when everything started clicking for me of, he's twice my age. This isn't right. When Mark came home, Stephanie confronted him. I said, I found your birth certificate, so I know you're 32. And his response was, well, I was already feeling like Chester the molester. I didn't want to make it worse. Stephanie. Stephanie glared at him, disgusted. What the hell's wrong with you? You were 30 when you met a 14-year-old. You want me to trust you with everything, and I don't even know how old you really are. I want to be on a break. Mark's face dropped. What? I said, yeah, we're on a break. Something between them had shifted. Mark could sense it too. He looked scared. I think that he realized he was losing control of me. And he spiraled. He said, I'm going to marry you. I'm looking for rings. Stephanie almost laughed at him. I am 16 years old, and a 32-year-old man is asking me to marry him. She left his house. Mark called and texted her nonstop, begging her not to walk away. He wanted to talk. He wanted to try to work things out. And I went to his house, and I said, we're done. This is gross. I can't even believe what you've done to me. He just starts crying. And then he's like, please don't leave. Stay with me. And I looked at him, and I said, you are pathetic. This has been going on for two years. Do you even realize what you've done to me? I took my power back as a 16-year-old in that moment, even though at that point, to me, it was just me breaking up with a boyfriend. It would take over a decade for her to see the situation for what it really was. No matter how hard Mark tried to regain control, he couldn't. I just started distancing myself more and more from him because I knew that I was going to be okay. She graduated early and finally left her high school behind. In the fall, she started college at the University of Arizona. But her time at college was challenging. I was way into the party scene, and I would not go to class. I would just drink. And my life really changed. And I would just drink. And my life really, really spiraled from there. I was just drinking so much, and I ended up dropping out of U of A. Stephanie never told her parents about Mark's abuse. She didn't have the words for it. There was so much pain just under the surface, but she didn't want to feel it. I was just stuck in this depressive, drunk cycle. What happened with Mark followed her wherever she went. I was just hiding that pain constantly. Never making sense of what I had been through. Just masking it and masking it and masking it. Until one night. I went out and got extremely intoxicated. And got behind the wheel of my car. And thank God I was pulled over. And I blew a.24. And I got a DUI. I was relieved. This is what needed to happen. This cycle is going to break. She knew that she couldn't keep masking her pain. I had to start facing it. And I hadn't faced it until then. She tried to tell a few friends about Mark. She still didn't have the words to label the experience. She told people she had dated one of her teachers. People didn't know what to make of it. So many people were so dismissive of it and minimized it. There were never any follow-up questions. Not a single person ever told me that was wrong or made it seem like it was something I should have reported. I was like, okay, maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I did something. It had been over 10 years since she had seen Mark. And she learned that he wasn't teaching anymore. He'd joined the military. So she kept the truth about what happened to herself. And she focused on moving forward. She enrolled in school again. In her late 20s, she became pregnant after a brief relationship. She decided to keep the baby and be a single mom. When her son was born, he became the center of Stephanie's world. She created a loving home. She created a loving home for him and filled their days with joy and fun. She cherished their daily routines together. Being a mom gave her the confidence to make a decision she'd always wanted to make. We're moving to L.A. I'm going as a single mom with a two-year-old in tow. I don't know anybody there. But I just saw an opportunity to just completely start over and go to L.A. L.A. was just as exciting as she always thought it would be. My first job there was one of my dream jobs. I was working for a celebrity, and I thought that was amazing. For the first time in a long time, Stephanie felt connected to the younger version of herself, the little girl who dreamt of building a new life in California. She got a master's degree in communications and began a career in marketing and PR. That really built my confidence a lot. And everything that I kept doing just kept bringing me more and more comfortable with myself, giving me more and more perspective. On occasion, she would hike after work. She loved hiking. She loved climbing the hills dotted with chaparral and sage scrub. Her favorite trail led to the Hollywood sign. You look out and you see all of L.A. I was starting to feel a shift in myself of feeling stronger and feeling like I can do things that I didn't think that I could. And it started to really click for me that I can handle things and that I can make things happen. She had found the strength to face the hardest parts of her life, raising her son, moving across the country, and going back to school. She had reclaimed the different pieces of her identity one by one, and she recognized herself again. Then Stephanie turned 30, the same age as Mark had been when she first stepped into his classroom at age 14. That birthday brought a sense of clarity and conviction. What Mark had done was deeply wrong, and it wasn't her fault. I'm feeling ready to do something about this. One night, I went online, and I looked up Mark and said he was teaching at a school in Colorado. The last she heard, Mark was in the military. But now, she was staring at his LinkedIn profile. He was back teaching high school students. My hands started shaking, and I'm like, holy shit, he's around kids again, he's teaching again. What do I do? That's when she was overcome by a new fear. A new feeling. Rage. So many people didn't show up for me. I can't be that person if he is doing this to anybody else. I cannot let this happen and just stand by and do nothing. So that same night, she sent an email to the principal of the school where Mark was now teaching. I just said, you don't know me. I saw online that Mark Lindrud may be a teacher at your school. I was his student. I had an inappropriate sexual relationship with him. As a 14-year-old student, I just wanted to let you know. The principal responded to her email. And he said, thank you for letting me know. Did you ever report this? And I said, no, but I think I'm ready to. The principal called the local police department and reported what Mark had done to Stephanie. That was the first time someone took my claim seriously. A detective reached out to Stephanie. They got on the phone, and Detective Durbin asked her to start from the beginning. And it was like, okay, he performed oral sex on me. And she would say, okay, what does that mean? It's going to be uncomfortable, but I need you to tell me these things. I had to go into very explicit detail about things that he would do to me. I had to tell them every time that I could remember any sort of a detail because that was going to be a charge. Detective Durbin began making note of the details. charges against Mark. She started saying, sexual abuse of a minor, okay, that's an offense, that's sexual assault. When I started talking to Detective Durbin and she started using those words, I was like, oh my God, that's exactly what this was. This was never a relationship. He saw me vulnerable, he saw me isolated, and that made me perfect prey for a pedophile. What if you could save up for that new car or vacation just by buying the stuff you're already buying? With the OnePay banking app, you earn 3% cash back on up to $150 in monthly spending in categories you choose, so it's easy to save. For me, I'd love to save up for that new car or vacation, but I don't think I can. I'd love to save up for a really nice vacation and maybe put some money aside for a new car. 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And make sure you use my promo code IHEART so they know I sent you. Amazon Pharmacy presents Painful Thoughts. It's been a long, bumpy road dealing with yet another bladder infection. And driving to the pharmacy to pick up meds, I went over a pothole and a little pee came out. So now, I get to stand in line with pee-pee pants. Next time, skip the pain and get fast, free delivery with Amazon Pharmacy. Healthcare just got less painful. For years, Stephanie knew that what she endured in high school was wrong. But she never knew how to talk about it. When she turned 30, she was ready to report what happened to her. And was connected with a detective named Detective Durbin. Stephanie told her what happened, and the detective started making note of the charges against Mark. When Detective Durbin started using those words, I was like, oh my God, that's exactly what this was. This was a pedophile grooming me and manipulating me, and it was abuse. Stephanie was angrier than she had ever been. And she was ready to do whatever was necessary to keep Mark from abusing another child. Detective Durbin asked Stephanie if she had any other evidence that could corroborate her claims against Mark. She didn't expect Stephanie to have much. It had been over a decade. Clearly, we know that I was being sexually abused the entire time. But in my 14 and 15-year-old mind, it was a relationship. And what do you do as a 14, 15-year-old girl when you're in a relationship? You keep little mementos. So I saved, like, movie tickets, drive-in tickets, receipts from lingerie he'd make me buy, and photos. And that was perfect for the criminal investigation and the trial. Stephanie dug up that old box. All the things that Mark had used to gain power over her were now going to help her take it back. She brought the evidence to the police, and they put together a timeline of Mark's abuse, corroborated by ticket stubs, receipts, and photos. We went to the drive-in and saw How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, and that was on Valentine's Day, and here's the ticket stub. And here's the date that he asked me to get this lingerie. I had these photos with the dates. And it would be, like, him shirtless in his house, or me laying on the floor with his dog, us on the beach in California with, like, his arms wrapped around me. Detective Durbin told Stephanie about one last thing they could do to build a case against Mark. They referred to it as a confrontation call. She explained how it would work. I call him, and it's basically to try to get him to admit to what he did. The detectives are in the room, unbeknownst to him. And so there's a record of that, so that then they can go in and, without a doubt, arrest him. She said, you don't have to do this. Sometimes it is healing for people. Sometimes it's the opposite. And I said, yeah, let's call that motherfucker. He is teaching, and I want to make sure he's never teaching again. Stephanie flew from L.A. to Phoenix to meet Detective Durbin and another detective who would be present for the call. Together, they made a game plan. It was super nerve-wracking because I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear his voice. But if I can get him to admit this, there's no going back. Then, with the two detectives by her side, she dialed Mark's number. I called him, and he answered. And I just started saying, I need closure. I was 14, and I was your student. Why did you do that? And he's like, I was immature. And he admitted to knowing I was 14. He admitted to knowing I was a student. I hope you have a really great day, is how he ended it. Stephanie fell quiet. And Detective Durbin was like, how are you doing? You okay? And I said, that was so weird because that man controlled so much of my life for the last 20 years. And she looked at me, and she said, just so you know, you had full control of that conversation. He was fumbling over himself because you had full control. Two days later, Mark was arrested. The story was picked up by the local news. An Aurora Public School teacher has been arrested, accused of sexual abuse of a minor in Arizona. Police say Mark Lindert is a teacher at Vista Peak Preparatory School. He's been placed on administrative leave. Stephanie and her team prepared for trial. Stephanie started having calls with the DA in Tucson. She was also assigned a victim advocate. A few weeks after Mark's arrest, she was sent his indictment. And it says my name on it, and it says his name, and it says the court, and it says the charges. And each charge is explained in explicit detail. All in all, Mark Lindert was facing 21 charges, 20 counts of sexual conduct with a minor, and one count of sexual abuse of a minor. To read those words and then put it together with, that was me. I'm SL. That's named in all of these things. That was me. This is real. And what was done to me was really bad. The one thing she'd spent so long trying to hide was now headline news. I kind of just sat with myself in it, and I said, I can do one of two things. I can become smaller, and I can feel ashamed. Or I can say, no, I'm taking back my power. After years of keeping Mark's secret, Stephanie was done staying quiet. A trial was set for January 11th. But Mark and his legal team delayed it. And then delayed it again. And again. Mark was always having some kind of emergency, or new evidence was being entered into discovery that caused the trial to be postponed. It was exhausting. After a while, the prosecution started to talk about giving Mark a plea deal. If we give the plea deal, at least I know he goes to jail. Offer him the plea deal. So they did. And he declined the plea deal. This meant there would be a trial after all. And Stephanie would have to face Mark in court. The reality was setting in of, I have to talk about these charges and their explicit details in a room full of strangers. Stephanie had spent years keeping this secret, and many more years pushing this trauma down. But now, she had to face it head on. Not only would Stephanie have to say what Mark had done, to her out. loud. But she would have to testify to her trauma, an intimate detail to a full room of strangers. And then those strangers would have to decide if she was credible, if they believed her. She remembered her high school principal who wrote her off and the girls who started rumors about her. She felt like she had been on trial her whole life and every jury had found her guilty or dismissed the case. What if this jury came to the same conclusions? She shared her concerns with the DA. The DA said, I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I believe you. The validation in that of maybe he won't be found guilty of anything, but I have this team of people who support me in that way. She knew whatever came next, she wouldn't be alone. Stephanie flew from LA back to Arizona for court. The night before the trial, she had a panic attack. I thought I was dying. And it was just the biggest panic attack that I've had ever in my life. The walls felt like they were caving in on her. She went to bed feeling shaky. I don't know what happened in my sleep that night, but I woke up in the morning and I was like, let's fucking go. Let's do this. The only way I can describe it is, like an athlete going into a game. You just put your head in the game and there's nothing else you're thinking of. Laser focused. The trial began with jury selection. The saddest part about jury selection, one of the questions they asked was, have you or anyone you know been raped or sexually assaulted? And the amount of jurors who had to be excused because they had in one way or another been affected, by sexual assault, further fueled me of being like, let's go. This idiot is not getting away with this. Stephanie took the stand. The prosecutor asked her questions about what she had endured and she answered them. Her voice was strong and she was in control. Then it was time for Stephanie to be cross-examined by Mark's attorney. She clearly did not have a defense because he already admitted guilt. So if the facts couldn't be debated, Mark's attorney had one last plan of attack. She opened up her entire thing, saying, Stephanie Langlitz is a liar. I was like, that is your defense? Let's go. Let's go. The cross-examination began. She would ask me questions like, you're saying he met you at a public park? That's crazy. And I'm like, yes, it is crazy. There was nothing she could have said that rattled me. When the prosecutor was wrapping up, he asked if there was anything else Stephanie wanted to share. And I said, yeah, I do. As many times as I saw that number pop up in my phone, I could tell you what his phone number was right now. And so the DA goes, what was it? And I said, 520-904. And I looked directly in the eyes of Mark when I said it. I said, 520-904. And his face dropped. You could just see the defeat. The next day, it was time for the jury to decide whether Mark was innocent or guilty of the 21 charges against him. Stephanie was hopeful that he would be found guilty on at least a few counts. But she didn't want to set her hopes too high. Because each one they have to find me credible for. Finally, the jury reached a verdict. Everyone filed back into the courtroom and found their seats. He was found guilty on every single count. Every single count. They found him guilty on all 21 counts. I did not expect that. And that was so powerful. These people who are total strangers, they believe me. A month later, Stephanie traveled back to Tucson for Mark's sentencing hearing. She shared a victim impact statement. You stole my teenage years from me. I didn't get to go to prom. I didn't get to do anything like a teenager does. And instead, I found myself at the bottom of a bottle for many years. And you have affected every relationship of my life. And I said, your attorney had no defense. So her defense was to paint me as a liar. This is why so many victims don't come forward. Is because they're afraid people aren't going to come forward. Because they're afraid people aren't going to believe them. Later that day, the judge read Mark's sentence aloud. They went through all 21 counts. And for each count he was found guilty of, there was time added to his sentence. Mark Lindrud was sentenced to 66 years in prison. This man at this point is in his 50s. So he is going to die in jail. After the trial, a few students who attended the high school where Mark had been teaching reached out to him. They thanked me for what I did. And they're like, he creeped us out. He was my sister's teacher. And he was saying he was excited for me to be in his class. And we just want to tell you, thank you for protecting us. That's why I did it. I know that they're safe. And he will never do this to someone ever again. It didn't have to take this long to stop Mark's abuse. Stephanie's high school heard about it while she was in high school. It was happening and failed to properly investigate. The school did nothing to protect me. I do think that they are culpable. The signs were there and they missed a lot. After 10 years in Los Angeles, Stephanie moved back to Arizona with her son. They live in Phoenix now, where she runs her own creative marketing studio. And in the last few years, Stephanie has formed some close friendships. I all of a sudden had, this amazing group of women around me. And it was the first time in my entire life that I had girlfriends, like a good supportive group of girlfriends. We all support each other. We all want the best. And that is so genuine. When Stephanie walked into Mark Lindred's classroom all those years ago, she was alone. She struggled to make friends. And it felt like nobody understood her. But she's not alone anymore. At Stephanie's birthday party this year, one of her friends made a toast. There's a recording of it. Her friend raises a glass and talks about all the things she loves and cherishes about Stephanie. And then the rest of her friends jump in to sing happy birthday. Happy birthday, dear Stephanie. Stephanie is beaming while tears well in her eyes. They don't see me as a victim or survivor of sexual abuse. They see me as who I am today. I am truly happy for the first time. We end every weekly episode with the same question. Why do you want to share your story? Unfortunately, 20-something years after this happened to me, it still happens. No kid should have to go through this. It wasn't you. You didn't invite this. You didn't open yourself up to this. You were manipulated. You were groomed. You didn't. Nothing wrong. There is no shame. There is no guilt. And there really is a lot of power and validation on the other side. On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly. I saw this figure standing in the doorway. He was an all black and a Batman mask and just covered head to toe in black. He was in black clothing. I kept closing and opening my eyes. Like, am I really seeing this? If you'd like to share your story on betrayal, please email BetrayalPod at gmail.com. That is BetrayalPod at gmail.com. Please note that we are not a mental health organization. If you are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we encourage you to seek local help or dial 9-1-1. Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes, we've included a list of U.S.-based resources. You can follow us on Instagram at BetrayalPod or find me at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the betrayal community, join our sub stack at Betrayal.Substack.com. We're grateful for your support. One way to show support is by subscribing to our show on Apple Podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review Betrayal. Five-star reviews go a long way. Big thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Faison. Hosted and produced by me, Andrea Gunning. Written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our story editor is. Also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate producer is. Production management by. and Malkuri. Booking support by Curry Richmond. Our iHeart team is Allie Perry and Jessica Kreincheck. Audio editing by Tanner Robbins with additional editing and mixing by Matt Dalbecchio. Betrayals theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided by My Music. And for more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. NMLS ID 2460509. There are often subtle signs that something isn't right. Your body works the same way. Gaining weight no matter how disciplined you are. Craving something sweet after every meal and feeling hungry again an hour after you eat. These can be signs that your body isn't producing enough GLP-1, the hormone that helps regulate appetite, slows digestion, and plays a role in blood sugar regulation. It's formulated to support your body's natural production of GLP-1 in your gut so you can quiet the food noise, feel more satisfied after meals, and enjoy smoother weight management when following a healthy lifestyle. 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