Stavros Halkias, The Clippers Go To Jail, Mt Rushmore Duel, CFB Week 1 + Fyre Fest

Hey, part of my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's Fran from Chicks in the Office. The weather is getting cooler and Abercrombie's fall drop has everything I need for the season. The best-selling A&F Sloan Taylor pant is a closet staple for me. I'm always wearing it to work events, happy hour, anytime I want to be a bit more dressed up. And the viral Dylan dress is easy, one-and-done perfection. But my fall uniform will always be denom pair with a handly sweater, a bra-free top. It's comfortable, effortless, it just never fails. Find your fall capsule at Abercrombie, shop in the app online and in stores. On today's part of my take presented by Draft Kings, we've got our good friend, Stavi in the building in studio, Stavros Halkius. He has a new special coming out on Tuesday, September 8th. On Netflix, please watch. Great to catch up with him. Talk about everything that's going on. Talk about how ridiculous this life is that we shared some funny moments of him just becoming a legitimate star, us writing a book. Just all of it, very fun. We're going to talk about the Clippers being dead. We're going to do the duel. Mount Rushmore duel between Zack and Haine. College football week one is here. We during Fire Fest, which I'm sure you're going to want to listen to Fire Fest, because we might be talking some recap from the Grudge match that happened on Wednesday. It's going to be a pretty contentious show, honestly, because we're grudging still. We're still grudging. We will, so we put out the Mount Rushmore poll, so we'll recap Mount Rushmore season during Fire Fest as well. It's all brought to you by our friends at Body Armor. This episode is brought to you by Body Armor Flash IV. Flash IV is packed with electrolytes to living faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes, flavors or sweeteners, whether you're training traveling or just feeling the heat or cheering on your team or I'm going off script. If you're traveling, we've been traveling a bunch. You wake up the next day, feel a little slow, feel a little dehydrated. Plains can dehydrate you. You get the Body Armor Flash IV. You feel good. So go get a Body Armor Flash IV today. Like I said, packed with electrolytes to living faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes, flavors or sweeteners. That's Body Armor Flash IV work hard and hydrate hard with Body Armor Flash IV. Grab it at 7-11 today. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Draft Kings. The crown is yours today is Friday, September 4th and the Los Angeles Clippers are dead. Death penalty. Death penalty. Death penalty plus. Yes. The zombie clippers. They have found that the responsibility for the quiet littered fake tree deal and numerous other fake advertising deals that were designed to circumvent the cap are direct responsibility of Steve Balmer as well as Lawrence Frank. Yep. The entire clippers are paying a severe punishment. They're taking away five first round picks. Yes. So 2029, 2030, 31, 32, 33 and then also a fine of $30 million to Steve Balmer. Steve Balmer suspended for a year. Lawrence Frank is suspended for I think six months. Is that right? And then Kwai has to pay $700,000 in restitution for improper benefits. And Uncle Dennis is now done. Yes. Sorry. Uncle Dennis, by the way, I mean, I guess his only job was to get Kwai paid. Yeah. Consider it mission accomplished. Oh, I read some of those texts and email exchanges. Uncle Dennis, he was when he was just like, I will burn this whole thing to the ground. We should all want to have an Uncle Dennis in our lives. Yeah. The big winner of this, though, public or a friend of the program, uh, he was right through and through. He started this entire thing. There were a lot of people who thought that he was wrong. He ended up being right all the way through. And it's crazy because, uh, the biggest loser is not Steve Balmer and it's not, uh, Lawrence Frank and it's not Kwai. I think the biggest loser is Clippers fans. They get screwed in this. Their owner and general manager do illegal things according to the NBA. And what is the punishment? Your team is now going to be in hell and suck for an extended period of time. That sucks for Clippers fans like that. It feels like the punishment should have been Steve Balmer. You have to sell the Clippers or something like that. Not, hey, Clippers fans, guess what? You have no future for the next five years. I think the punishment should have been that Steve Balmer has to go out there and actually plant 50 million trees. That would have been nice too. Maybe like for every million trees he plants, then he gets, I don't know, a million dollars off of his fine. What about Steve Balmer? Has to just get super high. Yeah. That'd be cool. A bunch of trees. I mean, can you imagine how much he'd sweat? Oh my god. If he just got like anxiety level high. A live cam of every single NBA, every single NBA game in the 2026, 27 season Steve Balmer has to be like gravity, bond level high. And we have just a picture and a picture of Steve Balmer freaking out in the corner. That would be a fair punishment. And he maybe he has to watch Steve Balmer videos while he's super high. We're screaming developers, developers, developers, developers. That's probably trip you out even more if you are high. Now, I do think, do you agree though with my take that there's losers of the Clippers fans? I think the Clippers fans are the biggest losers. I think Balmer also a pretty big loser in the end of this. Also ESPN kind of a big loser because they put out a report last week saying that the NBA had concluded its investigation and not found any wrongdoing. And so just expect everything to kind of be brushed under the rug. They did have multiple sources in that article. I think what happened. The NBA did a very good job with the investigation. And the NBA did not let the Clippers think that they were in any trouble until the final report came out after the fact. So they probably did. I don't know if you watch any interrogation videos in YouTube. Big cat. Yeah. I watched a lot of them. They probably did the read technique on them, which is you tell them you minimize the crime they commit. And you're like, listen, every, every team the league is doing the same thing. So we're actually not after you. We're after all the other teams. So if you say it was like what 30 million dollars from aspiration, that's small potatoes. We don't really care about that. Tell us what else you did. So we know what else to look for. Yeah. The Clippers were like, this is awesome. Sounds like we're not in trouble. And then Adam Silver leaves room. He's like, I nailed him. Yeah. I nailed those fuckers. I nailed them. So, um, but yeah, you're right on that. Like the ESPN is definitely a loser in this because their report was just flat out wrong. And that was also the period of time when everyone was dunking on Pablo and being like, Hey, you were wrong. This was nothing. Yeah. Turns out it was a lot of things. I think it was a Clippers telling Pablo, like, yeah, we're not in any trouble. And then the actual NBA would not comment on it until after that article came out. And they said we disagree with everything that was in his report. Yeah. The other losers in this, Steve Bomber is a loser in the fact that he went on national television with Ramona Shelburn a year ago and like denied everything to a level that was somewhat convincing. Like, Hey, you know what? Maybe he's the owner. He doesn't know exactly what's going on. He's not meddling. And then the evidence came out and was like, No, no, he knows exactly what's going on. And he was meddling. And so he looks like an absolute idiot for that. So many same Mark Cuban. Look, we've had Mark Cuban on the show. I like Mark Cuban, but he went like score church to defend his billionaire brother brother brother. Yeah, the brother heard a billionaires. Yeah. He looks stupid. I have a I have a winner for you that is not nothing to do with the NBA. You ready for it? To Sean Watson. Go on. Kawaii Leonard is now the worst straighter or the worst acquisition of all time. We in sports. 10 first round picks 10 first round. So this is what the Clippers the Clippers used to get Kawaii Leonard now given that he's been he's cost them five future picks. The Clippers used the 2021 first round pick the 2022 first round pick 23 first round pick 24 first round pick swap. Yeah, 223 picks, by the way, 24 first round pick 25 pick swap 26 pick 29 30 31 32 33. Those are all part of this punishment SGA ever heard of them. And then $30 million fine and suspensions for everyone involved all for Kawaii Leonard to win zero rings. 47 games played average 47 games played in his seven seasons with the with the LA Clippers. Yeah. And I think what was the farthest they went? Did they go to a conference title in the bubble? They went to the Western conference in the bubble. So that is the worst player acquisition of all time given everything that you lay it out. Like you you I don't what could be worse 10 first round picks. It's a decade. A first round picks plus the two-time MVP plus your owner gets suspended for a year. Yeah. And Kawaii gets to go back to the most protected like the place where he is the the biggest you know has the most fans because he won a championship there. Yeah, Kawaii statement that he put out today was was all time. It was I essentially, I personally failed because my family did some stuff that I was not aware of and I love my family. Thank you, Kauai Leonard. Like 700,000 or that's what it was, right? 700,000 dollars. That's nothing to Kauai Leonard considering how much he's gotten paid. That's like half a tree. Yeah, that'll be fine. I'd like to see him and Balmer actually team up and plant some of these fucking trees. It would be nice. You can't just, you can't just, that's to me as the worst part is how many years did they take off the future of the entire planet? Yeah, by not planting those trees. Shout out by the way Uncle Dennis, all-time fall guy because Kauai is going to get trade because now I don't know if the trade is actually like completed because they're waiting for this. But now the clippers, there's no reason for them not to do this trade because they could get first round picks from the raft. Yes. Yeah, I also saw someone throughout there. I don't think, so Adam Silver, this is, he's, it's funny that he's flex his muscles a couple times and two of the most notable times have just been the clippers expense because it was Donald Sterling having to sell. Someone online throughout the idea, I can't find, I'm going to try to find it. I think I might have the same one. Is it related to the cup? Yeah, the, yeah. Henry the Blasian. Henry the Blasian said that if the NBA was smart, they would put these five picks up for the winner of the NBA cup, which would be fantastic and you'd also add in the element of the clippers potentially being able to win back their own pit. Yep. That, why not? Why not? NBA do it. Yeah, this is, it is a real death penalty for the clippers and it's not just because they're taking away their first round picks, which might be, you know, maybe top 10, maybe outside the top 10, not sure things. Yeah. But it's also that they don't have any picks to trade with. So it's going to be almost impossible for them to acquire players via trade. No, they're in hell. It's, it's going to be impossible to convince players to go there as a free agent. It is, yeah, just as bad as death penalty. In fact, I was saying it might, this might be too harsh of a penalty just because how else are the clippers going to be able to get good players besides circumventing the cap even harder? Yeah. This might actually just convince them they have to be even more bad boys. Doing this except we just got to not get caught. They might be pushing another sneaky winner. I mean, this might be dumb. The way, I mean, you said to Sean Watson, that kind of convinced me he's a winner in this. Yeah, because when you think of, like, worst player acquisition, just Sean was the name and now it's going to be quiet. Maybe just maybe the Major League Baseball Players Association. Because maybe Rob Manford is watching this and he's like, wait, so if I put a salary cap in, that means I'm going to have to investigate teams and do a lot of legwork and legal interviews with people to make sure that teams aren't circumventing. I'm going to have to enforce this rule. Or the opposite, he could do, he could be like, hey, players, we're going to put a salary cap in. But also just get an Uncle Dennis and ask about a tree deal. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, hey, we're having a salary cap, wink, wink. Yeah. We won't, don't ask, don't tell. Right. Like steroids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll look the other way. You guys get your cap owners. And if you want a guy up with a fake car dealership, that's between you and the Lord. I was listening. Wendy was talking about it on, I believe it was on. Oh, it was SVP and he did mention that so this is not unprecedented. This happened with the Timberwolves and I believe it was Joe Smith. And they got a bunch of picks taken away. They actually ended up going to the conference finals like a year after. But that they already had Kevin Garnett, which that's not apples to apples. But Wendy basically said that if the Clippers, the precedent that the Timberwolves set, they got a shitload of picks taken away. Then they started cooperating and the NBA started showing leniency and gave him a couple picks back. The Clippers still have that possibility. Now, will they do that? Because Steve Balmer released the statement. The Clippers released the statement being like we completely disagree with all of this. And essentially like this is false and we're going to fight it. If they start to play ball, they might get some of their picks back, which you got to like, if you're the Clippers, you got to do that. Play ball. Yeah, I guess. Get two of your picks back. But the thing is, if you're if you're Balmer, you can outspend Adam Silver. You've got unlimited money. Yeah. So if you want to play the lawyer game, he's one guy if he wants to go through with that, he can probably make life a living hell for Adam Silver. Yeah. In hopes that he can kind of, you know, force his way back into a lesser penalty. So, so I'm looking at it right now. When Joe, the Joe Smith thing happened because it was like a deal where he signed a bunch of one-year deals. They guaranteed that he would get like a big deal at the end so they could keep his bird rights. They took away the 0102 0304 and 05 first round picks. The Timberwolves played ball. They gave them, the NBA gave them back the 03 and 05. So it ended up being a three pick punishment, not a five. That's what the, if you're a Clippers van, like plead with Steve Balmer to actually do something here to maybe get some of these picks back. Yeah. I mean, if Balmer was smart, he would just ask, he's an LA. So he should just ask his daughter's boyfriend to pay Kauai all this money behind the scenes. That way everything's nice and legal. Yes. That would have been a smarter move on his part. Yeah. The statement from Kauai is pretty funny. We've got a new, I think, Lee Lieger in the realm of Rick Patinos. I apologize for trusting the wrong people. Yep. I accept full responsibility for lapses and judgment by people within my inner circle. Love that. That's such a good apology. So good. I love it, Kauai. It's my fault for letting other people speak on my behalf. Yeah. My bad. Yeah. No, his statement was basically, did I do that? Yeah. Whoops. Sorry. Yeah, Uncle Dennis, you know Uncle Dennis. Everyone's got a crazy uncle. That's what he should have said. Yeah. Hey, listen, I apologize, but also, isn't it the most relatable thing ever to have kind of a crazy uncle? Thanks, Kim. It's going to be real awkward this year. Yeah. What does that? I mean, Uncle Dennis has to, he has to have a nice like envelope waiting for him, right? He's in the uncle. He's already made it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But like, he's, he's banned from talking to teams and stuff. He is in the Uncle Hall of Fame. If quiet, quiet, disquiet, need now to win another title with the Raptors to save his legacy. It's quite have a legacy. Is it this? Yeah. I mean, it's, it's winning a, what, two-time finals MVP? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't think quiet cares. I think he's like, I've done everything. I've accomplished everything. Quiet might be one of those guys. I got paid. When players say that they like don't like read anything here, anything, I think I believe when, if quiet said that. Yeah. Like he doesn't even know what the internet is. He might not know that this is even that big of a deal. I would imagine quiet just sits at his house and like, stares at a wall and then they're like, all right, quiet time to go to practice. Right. It's like, all right. He just plugs in. Yeah. And they screen saver pops on. Now, do you think that this is, uh, it could have all been avoided if quiet just showed up for a few photoshoots? Oh, they just put in a couple of trees. Yeah. Like, if he planted three trees and let a professional photographer take a picture of him. Yeah. It makes like a three day trip to Brazil at some point. Mm hmm. Um, plants three trees gets on a plane, flies back. I think the clippers still get a little bit of a, yeah, a little, a little saving grace. It also, like I said, that bomber, uh, interview he did a year ago. I think the worst part about that for him is going on ESPN and talking to Ramona Shelburne and saying, I got scammed too. Mm hmm. I got scammed by these guys. What do you want me to do? Which we now know is just not true. Bombers have victim in this. Yeah. Maybe the biggest victim. Please, uh, cry, please save one of your tears for the billionaires. Mm hmm. We need you to. On behalf of the LA clippers, we vehemently reject the NBA's findings, which are the result of a heavily biased investigation, seeking to justify a predetermined narrative rather than the facts and evidence. How come they only investigated all the bad stuff we did? How come they didn't investigate all the real contracts that we've signed? Yeah. We've vigorously challenged these findings and penalties through every avenue available to us and look forward to an ethical and impartial arbitration process. Uh, Zach, is that just the bomber sitting in his office being like, review it? Yeah. Yeah. Just over and over. Go to the tape. Zach, what would you just say that's got the boys cracking up? Gotta hit that mic, Zach. Oh, we're just trying to part ourselves in their shoes. Like, these are kind of good problems to have. Memes, what do you actually say? What do you mean? Who? You only get five, seven hundred thousand? Yeah. That's not bad. That's fine. That's a little something. Quiet. They're in a great spot. Memes, gotta say, you're about to cry back there. Memes. Help us out, Memes. I'll tell you after. What? No. You're gonna tell us now. So I'm a little sore from softball last night. I was like, I think I need to massage Zach. Zach was like, don't go to the place down there. Terrible massage. That's all it was. What happened? It just a bat is a dog shim massage. My back still hurts. Oh, okay. Did they. Did they jack you up? Yeah. She was like, you want to do that? I was like, nah. Like, I went in for a legitimate massage and she just like, like, she like played around for a little bit. I was like, all right, jerk time. And I was like, no, I need to relieve, like muscle relief here. My, my L1, L2 vertebrae are in pain. It's the only guy ever to go into a rub and talk and be like, no, I actually just wanted the Swedish massage. The photos looked like he was an up and up spot. I get there and it was straight to jerk. I was like, come on, man. Zach, what are you wearing? Did you look hot? Is it your fault for looking hot that you wanted to jack you off with those highs? No, I would just wearing, you know, standard gear, nothing too crazy. I'm wondering if she saw, like, a parcel of sports stuff. All in is I walked in with things like, oh, you're from that office, I know it. Yeah. with pain, laugh with pain boys. - Oh no, no Zach. - All right, so yeah, so the clippers are screwed. (laughing) It's perfect ending to that, Zach. - Yeah, clippers are hose. Now I do think that this kind of stuff happens in every sport. - Yeah, I think well, there's a lot of caps or things. - I, if you're an NBA, if you're an NBA team and you do any of this, you gotta stop right now because it's pretty clear that they're gonna, like that's the one thing that the clippers, they've been popping. - All people, I'm sure Pablo's getting hit up by a lot of people. - And then the clippers are gonna hit up. - Yeah. - Like I bet you there's an actor. Clippers are trying to hit up Pablo being like, what about these guys? - Yeah, burn it all to the ground. - Yeah, if you take away, clippers are basically at the point now where they're hoping that every team gets their next five years first round picks taking away, then there's no draft. - So their next first round pick is in what? It's like, it's not just five years from now. - It's no business. - I feel like their next starts in 2029, so it's 2034, Hank still won't be in the invitational. 2034 is their next first round pick. - And that person right now is 11 years old. - Yeah. - That would be drafted. They got, they have to nail that pick though. - They got a nail, they got a nail at now. - Yeah, start, it gets. - Start scouting every middle school. - Get it going now. - Yeah, okay, now do you think that it happens maybe in that same city in the NBA? - What do you mean? - Like something to the lakers? - Yeah, well I, maybe that team or maybe another team that's in Los Angeles, I don't know. But like, if there's a player, a star player that you want to get and you have a massive mega blockbuster movie that's trying to be produced in that town. - Intent with that player as the star with a lot of money moving in and out of the studios. - That's interesting. - Do you think that that would be worth looking into? - It wouldn't, it wouldn't be hard to take away the, the bubble championship. It's half a ring. - Well, I think you probably have to punish, wherever that player is playing right now. - Yeah, I would say we'd probably need to punish him. - That would be good. All right, let's talk some other sports stories. Before we do that, Draft Kings, the weight is over. Football's here and so is Draft Kings. The Draft Kings sports app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida. Every fan is in on the excitement. And this September Draft Kings is giving customers the opportunity to get boosted every football game day. That's right. Every game day, all month long Draft Kings customers can get a football profit boost. One app, every sport, all 50 states, new Draft Kings customers sign up with code take. Spend just five bucks and get 200 in total rewards with, within 21 days includes all markets that's code take in partnership with Draft Kings. The crown is yours. - Gambling problem called 1-800-Gambler. 1-800-Mire reset. Connecticut called 8-888-7-8-9-7-777. Or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Blue Hill Casino and Kansas, Bettax Pass through may apply in Illinois. 21 on over, void in Canada. Bet with Draft Kings sports book to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Or trade with Draft Kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Nonwithdrawable rewards issued as $50 click to claims every seven days for 21 days. One single use boost per customer per day. Expires at the end of the final select game win offered. Valid for select football transactions on the platform for which it's been issued. Terms at dkng.co/offer, limited time offer. Nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Fairies by state, limited time offer. Okay, next stories or two for. We got some drivers license taken away. Tony Ramos, six months. Tiger Woods, five years. - Don't touch my drivers. - Joe. - Oh yeah, and the good good CO got canned. So, but Tiger Woods, I mean, that's the only place he feels normal. - Yeah. - So he's basically in jail. - Really, again, much like Steve Balmer, Tiger Woods is the real victim of this. - Yeah. - That he's not gonna have any place that he can go and feel like a regular human being anymore. So I guess thoughts and prayers to him. Good. - Good for the rest of the world. - Good for everyone else that's on the road. - Yeah. Also, if you're Tiger or Tony, like, I guess, the fact that it happened on the same days, they're both gonna maybe be competing for future Uber commercial, which would go crazy. If it was like Uber Pool and Tony Ramos picking up Tiger Woods. - Oh, you're saying that they can drive? - No, they can get you. - No, no, no, I'm Tony Ramos. - Uber Pool. And I'm driving for lift. - No, Uber Pool. No, he's in the back seat and there was like, Tiger's like, oh, shit, I hope I don't get paired with a random weirdo. - Yeah. - Don't have a driver's license, opens the door, boom. Tony Ramos, I don't know, Tiger. - Yeah, Uber Pool. - You never know. - You never know. But yeah, that was, I feel like it's Tiger down. - These things happen in threes. - Yeah. - Who else is getting their license taken away? Anyone be looking around. - Anyone? - Someone in the show. - There's gotta be a baseball manager that's working on a couple of DIYs. - We haven't heard from Tony LaRusse in a while. - That's true. - Yeah. - He's out there somewhere. Do you guys have anything to, do you care at all about the Browns, Assistant GM wearing a sweatshirt that said Los Angeles made me do it in her press conference, which seems pretty, it seems very Browns. - Yeah, I don't think that there's anything really deep to make of it, but besides the fact that this was a really dumb thing to do, and why? - It's like, it shows bad judgment, I think, but ultimately, do I think it impacts the job that she's probably not, but. - It's the Browns. The Browns can make a story out of a sweatshirt. - It's impossible. You'd say, no way could a sweatshirt be a headline, but the Browns can do it. - The Browns did it. They can find a way. - Actually, they've done it multiple times. Remember John Dorsey? - Yeah, that's true. - They made lots of stories out of the sweatshirt. - His sweatshirt was nice. - This sweatshirt looks like it's been hanging up in a moth closet for the last six years. - It looks like Bill Bell-check sweatshirt. - Yeah. - While you have the computer up, can we just click on today's news, the top story, just to see right there. Okay, Sidney Sweeney stuns in Venice fashion. - Oh, I'm a bit of a fashionista. - Yeah, this is our fashion portion of the podcast. - Can you zoom in on the strap, where the straps connect to the main dress there? That area. - Okay. - Sidney Sweeney leads league in most times pulled up on this computer. - I would say so. - Mitcho, not even close. - That's a really good dress. - That's a really nice dress. You could tell the design, the tailoring. The design, do you tailor a dress? Or is that a suit? - We're fashion show. - Yeah, you tailor it. - Yeah, we're fashion show. - First and foremost. - That is just a really, it's a really good dress. - It's a good dress. - I like the cut. - Yeah. - It's a good dress. - One of the best, better cuts. - I like the material too. I'd say that's the second best dress I've seen her wear. - What game are you guys most excited for this weekend? - Do you have one? - I mean, LSU Clemson, I think that's your club. - That's your club, yeah. - The tigers, the death valleys. I think that the shit talking behind the scenes that's going on in front of the scenes that's going on this week, where we've had like Davos Sweeney turning into vintage Steve Spurrier, talking shit about Lane Kiffin directly during press conferences. What was his quote? He said they need to, no pun intended, stay in their lane. - Yeah. - Which means it's a good shit talk. - If you pre no pun intended, then it is intended. - Yep. - So yeah, Davos has been going after him. LSU has been like tied up in court this week. So yeah, that's it. I mean, it's been a crazy, crazy couple of days trying to figure out who's going to be able to play even this weekend, but. - I'm excited for Louisville Ole Miss. I think everyone should tune in to Louisville Ole Miss on Sunday night. - That's the game we should all watch. - Okay, yeah. - I mean, the only ranked matchup. - Yeah. - Oh, we got a football, it's at an FL stadium too, right? - Yep, so that's awesome. - If you want to watch two teams, college football teams playing an FL stadium on Sunday night, it's Louisville Ole Miss. - Top 10 team. - That's the one. - Would you disagree? - Playoff team. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And then in the Apple Cup, and one projected playoff team per one of our college football experts. - Yes. Yes. That's the one. I'm just so excited. I'm going to watch. It's not a great week one. We talked about it on Wednesday, but I don't care. It's just going to have, there's going to be football on our TV all day Saturday, and it's going to be awesome. Memes, you got to be. You're ready to go. You're not, are you going outside on Saturday? - No, well, as soon as I leave here till Monday, I'll be on my couch. - You're inside. - I'm just inside. - It'll be pretty good. - I just got a new 70-inch TV. - Oh, barely fed to my TV stand. - But I am fired up. - And if you're not watching football, you're going to be playing college football video games. - Yeah, that'll be on another TV. - Got it. We'd be doing both at the same time. - Probably. - Love that. - What a, what a. Memes is really living the best life. - He really is. - Yeah. - You are. Like, the idea that you can just be like, all right, see you guys, see you on Monday. Not going to leave my house going to watch all the football. - Yeah, no, it's the best. - I've thought about it. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone. - Anyone now? It's so good. I just make memes. - What about Scooter Braun? - Yeah, I bet him. - You're a world champion too. - And world champion? - You're a world champion. - And a softball champion. - And then you're a kind of bestselling author. - Yeah, got a lot going for me. - Yeah. - Summer memes. - Summer memes. - All right, any other stories? Before we do our Mount Rushmore tool, Dejan Love, the only follow up I had was, now I understand why he was wearing the cap the whole time. - Oh yeah, it's very large. - It looks like Mars attacks. - He's got a big forehead. - Yeah, there's some other stuff coming out. The brands are now onto the case. And I think these are all real things. I don't think that they're viral advertisements. But Camillo said that Dejan Love hit them up. to see if maybe they'd want him. - I think that one might be funny if he did hit him. - And then I saw that there was a DM between him and David Buster's asking if he could have an entire David Buster's location because he, as an NFL player, was coming in with a couple of his friends. - Love that. - With the understanding that that's what NFL players do. - Yeah. - Okay, I play football professionally, so I'm gonna need your entire restaurant. (laughs) - Close it all. Oh, we just pulled up CJ Stroud. Will not be signing extension with the Texans before the season begins. Houston offered Stroud a contract exceeding 50 million annually, but he's betting on himself to hopefully reach near 60 million. I feel like that's not enough of a difference to bet on yourself. - That's quite a bet that he's making. - That's a, like 50 and 60. - Would you bet if I gave you $50 million big cat, would you be willing to put it on the line and say, "I'm gonna bet that CJ Stroud gets a bigger contract "than he's already been offered at the end of the season?" - No. - I think I'd be willing to make that bet. - I wouldn't make that bet. - I would not make that bet. - Good for him for getting offered. That's money, that's cool. - Yeah, did you have some of CJ Stroud? - The Florio had to report this way. I love Florio, this way is the best report that Kyler Murray has been arriving at Viking's facility on time every day. - Yeah. - But then he further went on to explain that he's been arriving exactly on time, not a moment sooner, and he's been the first one to leave. - Yeah. - So he's been just clocking and clocking out? - Not even 15 minutes or so. - That's progress. - If I'm, yeah. Kyler Murray, I guess he'd like him to stay, like be the first in and last out. - Yeah. - But I mean, I feel like every team has three different guys that are first in and last out. - Yeah, at the same time. - Kyler knows exactly who he is. - The 2012 Patriots where they had Tom Brady, Amandola, Welker, and Julian Edelman, and Danny Woodhead. - No one left, like they probably carpooled because they could all be first in and last out together. - Speaking of that, did you see the King's Day Kings for Ernie Adams? - Oh yeah, yeah. So that was from Ryan Paganetti, who's awesome, his Twitter account, Everett should go follow it. We gotta have Maun. But yeah, he did a deep dive. You won't want you to explain it Hank, 'cause it is quite something. - It's like from 2002 to 2019, the Patriots win opposing teams who are kicking a field goal, like looking at the video board, they would put up a feed of the game mirrored, basically, so reversed, so if the flags, if you're the kicker and you're looking at the flags on the top of the field goal post, they were going right, directly behind that was a video of the same flags going left. - And also the same, so you'd see four uprights. - Yeah. - Now this is actually exactly what I tried to tell Brandon, that Oklahoma, was it, or Nebraska, Illinois, what they should do? - Yeah. - And then Brandon interrupted me very rudely and said, "While the hill we talking about jumbo trunks?" - Yeah. - He only, he just said-- - Not only jumbo trunks, care about jumbo shrimp, deep frot. Very walk. Like, this great idea, maybe he could have heard it first apart by taking it, Brandon, shut his fat mouth. - And it's not, so this was not illegal. This was just doing everything they can. Like, I think someone crunched the stats and it was like a 5% change in kicking the accuracy, which, that's what, if you get a 5% change, that could swing again. Good boost. It's pretty crazy. - Yeah. - Would you feel pride when you saw that? - Yeah, that's, that's better. - I mean, that's better. - That's better, that's better. - What you love to see, those are the good old days. - That's better. - That's better. - That's also better. - You sure they'll be back anyway. - Yeah. - Aren't you in the good old days? - The better check, Ernie Adams were. - But now it's new. - Good new days, we're in the good new days. - Yeah, it's good new days. - Good new days. - All right, let's get to the Mount Rushmore duel. Should we do it? - Yeah. - All right, let's do it. Okay, it is time for our Mount Rushmore duel. It's brought to you by Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We love Reese's. They got the Reese's peanut butter cups. The ones with the Oreos. Incredible peanut butter and jelly. Marshmallow, Reese's sticks. Reese's animal crackers, just everything. Anything you're looking for. Reese's is the one one pick in all Mount Rushmore drafts. It is the goat candy. We love Reese's. Something for everyone. It is the New York Knicks of candies. That's what Reese's does. Reese's the official candy partner bar stool sports COVID Reese's wherever you shop, we love Reese's. And so we should've just done a Reese's draft 'cause you could literally do it. And it would be, it would be the easiest draft ever. You could pick everything. They have every type of candy. All right, Zach's talking a lot in there. I think he's nervous. We are ready for the duel. It is Mount Rushmore duel time. It is Zach vs. Hank, Hank vs. Zach. Loser gets skunked by a real skunk. Is one of the punishments we had discussed. We've discussed a lot. We have discussed that. Yeah, it was that. We discussed becoming Dejan Love. Yeah, for a different team. Maybe making a hip hop country album. Yeah, there's a lot on the table. But we're gonna do so how the duel's gonna work. They do not know what the Mount Rushmore topics are. It's all off the top of the head. How much time are we gonna give you guys? How much time do you think you need? 30, 60 seconds? I would like memes as Mike on. Okay, memes as Mike on. Okay, why? Just in case. I think there might be some shenanigans. You never know. Oh, there. That's totally fair. I actually agree with that 100%. 60 seconds each. Is that not enough? 90 seconds. Yeah, I think 90 seconds to two minutes might be good. All right, we try to pick topics that you can think about stuff off the top of your head. And so there's gonna be three polls. We'll put them out. What, consecutive every half hour or something and it's just best of three. I think that's what we did last year, right, memes? We're doing some of the show in the morning. By the time we record the rest of the show in the afternoon, it should be done. What? The polls should be out. Do we do the polls real time? Yeah, we do the polls real time. We do the polls in real time. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that what we're doing? Yeah, that's what we did. Okay, I kind of like that, yeah. Okay. So we'll find out. So when you get to fire fest, you'll find out. Yeah. I don't remember us doing that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like instant, yeah, yeah. Okay, instant, instant polls. So I'll just do it one every half hour. Yeah, and then we'll find out. Okay. Okay. All right. You guys ready for your first Mount Rushmore? Yes, sir. All right. Who's going first? I think Zach. Zach is going first. I went first. Okay. We would like to hear. You have 90 seconds. We would like to hear the Mount Rushmore of guys' names. My mic is on. My mic is on. 90 seconds to discuss between us guys. Guys' names. Mount Rushmore. It's going to be really hard not to just verbalize my names that I'm thinking about right now. We're going to start. We wanted to ease them into something that like these guys know guys. Yeah. Right. They know guys' names. There's one thing they know it's dude's names. It's also a very subjective open-ended Mount Rushmore that could be very funny because it's like who's to say? A lot of names out there. A lot of names to go through. Just think of any names. Hank is doodle. He's got a heart next to a couple of them. How many names have always, he's writing Hank and then other guys' last names on his paper. Okay. Zach, how is Zach doing? By the way, what are we going to do for our so smart move by Hank? Hank has taken the headphones off. The mic is still on. Yeah. But we are monitoring. All right. Well, memes, PFT and I, but we should discuss real quick what we let the timer go down. What is the second one we want to do is the one that we were thinking of? I think it's WLTWO. Yeah. And then the third should it be the one we were talking about or should it be the one that I just, I think it's the one that we were talking about. Okay. I want to hear. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Perfect. And we're going to go with it. Okay. Agreed. Couple more seconds. We should use, we should use Zach's alarm clock as the timer. You got 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds. Just starting writing. Oh, no. And time. That's interesting. I mean, I guess there's, you can, you can keep writing. It's just you have to make a pick when your picks up. Yep. Okay. Mount Rushmore of Guys names. Zach, you're up first. We talk first and last. No. What? Sky's name. Sky's name. Sky's name. All right. Yeah. All right. Okay. Devonte. Okay. Okay. All right. Good pick. Okay. Okay. Tank. I'm going to go with a guy. Oh. Okay. Okay. And. Jalen. Oh. Good pick. All right. These are good picks. I'm going to go with Muhammad. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Probably the most popular name I think. What's the. So many guys name. I think it's the most popular name for Capitites. Maybe the number one. So you're going with more guys named that way. Not just. Okay. Are you going for the amount of people on that specific pick? I like the volume pick. Okay. I think Hank was doing that maybe with Jalen too. Yeah. Jalen's not a bad pick. All right. another one. Zach. Oh, next pick, I'm gonna go with Drew. (laughing) - Yeah, I'd love this favor, I'm sorry. It's so silly. - Drew the pick. - Drew, it's a good pick. - I got Drew, not Andrew, just Drew. - Just Drew. - Yeah, just Drew. - Yeah. - Was it-- - Andrew if he's in trouble with his mom or something, but you know Drew. - Drew, was your thought process behind Drew? - Cool name. - Yeah, all right, good pick. - Good pick, good pick. - This is tickling me a lot. - Okay, Hank. Hank also looks so deathly serious. It's like, you just gotta say a guy's worried. - He's worried, yeah. - I just don't know how to, yeah. - So you have so far, Jalen and-- - Guy. - Guy, yeah. - We're gonna go William. - Okay, William, you want it written as William? - Will. - You want will. - Yeah. - Okay, I like that, I actually like that change a lot. I think that was a very smart change for the graphic. - And Tiger. - We're gonna go Bill. - Oh, Tiger. - Oh, Tiger. - Okay, not kind of a nickname, but yeah. Good pick. - It's too late. - It has off the piece. - Okay, I like Will, Will's great value in the background. - Will's great, yeah. - Actually, usually Will's that I know are undrafted. - I'm gonna do a Richard. - Richard. - Richard. - Strong. - Yep. All right, what else do you guys have on that list? I thought we were gonna maybe get some more traditional like a-- - Eric, Zach, Max, Caleb, Drake, I wanted to do Drake, but that's why I didn't want to give myself a way, but I think Tiger probably did anyway. Dan Dave, John, Jack, Mark. - Jack is a big miss in my mind. Jack is a strong guy's name. - I didn't realize that Jack is a nickname for John. - Yeah. - Originally, yeah. - Lil Wayne, Ross, Scotty, Tiger, Marcus. - Marcus. - Okay. - I heard names of everyone in this room, except Shane and Connor. - Can we get clarification on a couple of spellings? - Yeah, sure. - How do you want to-- - Will is W-I-L-O. - How do you want to Vante Spell? There's a few different ways to go about it. - Good question. - We'll go with what you got right there. - Okay, and how would you like Jaylin, Hank? - J-A-L-E-N. - That's smart. - No smart. - Yeah, I thought there would be more like a. - I think like, like, Frank. - Frank's a good one. - Tom, Zach, meme said that you waited until like the last five seconds start writing down names. - What was the thought process there? - There was a confliction in my head if it was just first name. What were we doing first and last? Like for my first pick, one one I did have Tom Cruise, but Tom Cruise's A-Guy's not a name. - Yeah, Tom is a good one. - Tom Cruise is a solid name. - Yeah, I agree with that. - Toefer. - Joe. - Joseph? - Joseph's good. - Joseph's a good one. - Yeah, sure. - There's one biblical. - Pivocal names always are just strong. - Elijah? - Maybe not. - No, that would have. I don't know if Elijah would have played. Drew is very funny. I don't know why. - Drew? - Ezekiel. - I don't know if that would play. - Hey, who's James Biblical? - Yeah, Jesus. - Jesus. - He's a bit of a banger. - Yeah. - Jesus. - Tim? - My mic's on, by the way. And Zach's talking. - Yeah, loud. - Okay. - That's good. - He's talking to the mic. - Are you guys feel good about that? 'Cause we're about to go to the second one. - I don't think either one of them feels good about it. - No. - If I'm reading their body language, both are. - No. - Or terrifying. - No. - Timor Rushmore is? - Yeah, absolutely. The second Mount Rushmore is going to be the worst lines to wait in. - The worst lines to wait in. - I am going to set the timer. - I'm gonna give you guys a minute and a half. Worst lines to wait in. Okay, boys, the timer is up. Are we ready? - Yeah. - This is the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in. - There's a lot of them. - I can't think of many good ones. - No. - And so Hank, you go first, right? - Yep. DMV. - Great pick. - That's gotta be one one. - Gotta be. - Gotta be. - 'Cause it goes out of order too. - Yeah, that's bullshit. - It is. - It's a very such. - Great pick, Zach. - You go with the restroom. - Restroom, okay? - It's kind of chalk one too, right now. - Yeah, that's really good. I mean, when you have to piss and you have to wait in line, that is the most infuriating feeling in the world. - That's a great pick. - Yeah. - I'm next, I'm gonna go with Chipotle line. - Okay. - Okay, and why? - 'Cause I've just been 30 deep in the Chipotle line every time. - Okay. - And you wanna eat, and you can't eat, and it's right in front of you, and you can't get there. You wanna get to the register as quickly as possible, and you're just doing small talk with people you don't know. - See all the food right in front of you, yeah. - And it's the worst when someone three ahead of you is ordering for like five people. - Oh yeah, they got a birthday party or like after school. - Oh yeah, I'm gonna do a burrito. - And then I'm gonna do a burrito bowl, and I'm gonna do tacos. - Memes, what's that face of so? - At first, I was like, they're normally pretty quick, and then what Big Hat just said. - We'll drive you to keep putting tortillas in the machine. - Yeah. - That we'll drive you now. - You guys are gonna get caught awkwardly right at the door too, so you're the guy like, you're in line, but you're in the way of the front door, and you're just, oh. - You kinda have to maybe hold the door open, but maybe not, yeah. - That's brutal. All right, Hank. - I'm gonna go airport security. - Yeah, that's what I thought I was gonna go second. - And Chipotle though. - And bar. - Yeah. - To get in or line to get to the bar. - Line to get in. - Strong three. - I'm gonna say right now, Zack needs a hail marriage because that was Hank, you're crushing this one. - Thank you. - Good pick, Hank. - But Chipotle. - Chipotle. - That's a little annoying. - I'm gonna go amusement park. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Good pick, good pick, yeah. - Yeah, I go fast pass. - And then I'm gonna go. - Gas station during the hurricane. - Yep. - Though nothing worse. - All right, should we go to the next amount rush for? You want to do your last pick? You don't even have to. - Sure, we'll go a concession stand. - Okay, that's good. - I mean, Zack tell me about your experience waiting in line to get gas during the hurricane. - It just, it just 50 cars backed up. And you're thinking, are they gonna run out of gas? Do they got gas? You know they're jacking up the prices. You're sitting in the car. Impending doom storm, maybe death coming. But you're like, we gotta get gas for the house. Gas for the car. Yeah, natural disasters, terrifying. So you're scared in line. You don't know if you're gonna make it home than you're home. - Yeah, okay, good. Okay. Good, feel like maybe it's good. Movie concession stand. I guess you did concession say, was that everything? - I was thinking like a sports bus. - I was thinking about line to get a drink at the bar. That's a bad line too. - Yeah. So that one, you go sideways and kind of like, you feel like you have more control over that one. - You can, yeah, you can, you can, you can cut, but just by having good eye contact and good like motion awareness. - Line to get into the plane. That one kind of sucks too. Like border, bad line. - Yeah, but it's like you're, everyone's, you're taking off at the same time. - Yeah, yeah. Okay, good, I'm out rush more Hank. - Thank you. - Zach Chipotle, we need some people stuck in a Chipotle line too. I guess the polls will go out during lunch. So you need everyone who's literally looking at it while in a Chipotle line. - There's ups and downs of a duel, you know? - Yeah, I wouldn't say like the line to vote in general sucks. - Yeah. - Customer service lines. - Oh. - Yeah. - Hundred, then just never goes down. - Autograph line, you feel like a loser. - Yeah. Autograph or picture line at a porn convention. It's got it's a sock. - Yeah. - Hospital. - Yeah. - That one sucks. - Last guy in like a lily Phillips gang bag. - Yeah. - But I, you're probably making small talk with the guys around you at that point. - Yeah, it's top though. - You're like, hey, you horny too. Same. - Have a lot in common. - Yeah. - All right. Last one. - Is that anything? - Is that anything? - How do you think it's going? - Yeah. - You can go anyway. - Tyger was a bad pick. - Okay, here is the last one. - The last one is the Mount Rushmore. - Tyger's having a name. - A dumb things you think. You guys got it? - The problem is, Hank's still thinking about Tyger. - Yeah, Tyger's not even a name is what he said. - Tyger's inside his head right now. - And Zach got Muhammad in the second round. - I think all time number one name. - Okay, they're thinking about a dumb things you think. - But Zach got Chipotle, so. - Yeah, Chipotle is so fucking good. - Gastation during, I imagine Gastation during Hurricane would actually suck. - It sucks. - You've done it? - Yeah. - Hurricane Sandy. - Dang, tough. - Might be a little limiting. - Oh, this whole time I was thinking like actual like in the convenience store portion of the Gastation. I wasn't realizing. - No, no, no, line down the road. It really is brutal. - Yeah. - But that one, that's it. You gotta live in a certain part of the country to get to the city. - Yes, yes, very niche. - But important for Florida. Florida comes out for, if you get out the vote in Florida, Zach, you could be cooking. - Yep. - Is the number one state for determining elections? - Hmm. - I can't wait to hear what they say about this. - Okay. - Zach is four strong right now. He's four strong, all right. Can't see Hank's list, but he is writing. - You got this boys? - Mm-hmm. - And you give him an extra 30 seconds? - Yeah, I give him an extra 30 seconds. I haven't even said a time or so. Brick will get it. - Zach's brain is humming though. Confirmed humming humming. I see it confirmed how is he writing though? I Mean this should be a way up for Zach. I can't wait to write. He's got dumb thoughts all the time, right? Although I can't get over the the the sock of the baseball pad is Smart move so fucking smart, Zach Really so smart That kind of does have a cheat code in this but well knows no Hank has some dumb thoughts, too. Yeah, don't get it twisted That's why we thought this was the perfect one number Hank sometimes just thinks about Joe Rogan interviewing him about how his day went. Yeah There's there's dumb thoughts going around in this room right now. Yeah, all right That was timed you guys need a little more time. You got it. You feel good. You first Hank or me first Me first, okay, all right. Okay, Hank you're up. This is the Mount Rushmore No, no, it's Zach first Yep, you literally just went first Do you think you're right? Yeah, yeah? First thought popped in my head. I'm gonna go with are those real Okay, good pick. Good pick. Okay. I'm not I'm not any good at telling. I'm so really bad. So bad I Yeah Yeah, I just I just assume they're all real. Yeah Because they're just all boobs, and I'm yeah, I would never think anything nefarious. That's where I feel dumb sneaky about boobs Like oh, yeah, those are books. So it's real. I Will go with I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah, really dumb thought and I'm going to get in shape wait Okay When I think that it's not dumb, but yeah Good pick. No, that's a really dumb thought that I think all the time. Mm-hmm. Like every I'm actually a daily thoughts. I'm actually about to Bet every game This weekend think I'm going to win them all and then Monday I've already decided is when I'm going to start my journey to get in shape. I'm not joking. Those those two things I made a compilation of us talking about this on the show. What what I just get in shape. I'd like to see that Meanwhile, it's different. This is different this time I'm going to go with Could I jump over this? Yeah, okay. Yes, and then I'm going to go with I like could I jump over this did I lock my door? Okay, all right What do you think about what do you think like could I jump over this give me an example? Walking into like the story and other things that block the cars and people come in the tragedies You're like should I hop this or like a couple case of water on the floor should I hop this yeah, you know? Because anytime you get in the air it's dangerous All right, I'd say Hank's got a pretty strong. Oh You've literally said too that we think you might say tiger. Yeah I'm gonna go is tiger name with How are languages invented It makes no fucking sense and Just translations people looking to multiple languages. Yeah, sign language. It's none of it. It hurts my brain to think about And then this one Did I already shampoo? Okay, all right, okay, like in the shower. Yeah. Yeah, mm-hmm. Okay, mm-hmm It's a dumb thought and when it happens when you have to think about it. It's like fuck. Yeah, yeah, I'm really dumb Yeah, but I think I did okay. Mm-hmm. Good pick. But just in case. I'm gonna go with Do we see the same colors? Mm-hmm, and then I'm gonna go with Do you have another pick? No, no Man, what an end about rush or season. What would it have been? Oh, I don't have another pick. Yep, never mind. No, but what would you have been already now one? What do you mean? I'd say something you had that's the thing I thought I had to pick another pick I didn't have another pick. I was really just trying to find another pick right there. You six are in now. Yeah, they're not gonna pick No, you have another pick. Tell us the other well this list was I you picked for I wrote down dumb things you think And then I just thought of things you think so my list is not the best dumb things you think Tell me what did I forget is on here? What did I just forget is on here? Did I just step on a crack is on here? Uh-huh, and then How did they meet each other is on here? Oh, and then Yeah, yeah, you know look you know it's a duel. Another one I had was how do planes fly? Yeah, how do boats? We'll talk later. Yeah I mean aircraft carriers think about that for too long Plants placement. Yeah Good duel. I feel you guys feel good about the duel Yeah, I think it'll come down to the end. I think I think you might have gone I think you got him I thought I've had him the last two you definitely won one Yeah, you won the second one. Yeah Chipotle. I don't know Chipotle a lot of people go Chipotle. I think that's hanks The first one I think is gonna be close. Yep, very close depends on how the Muhammad vote comes out. Yep I think that is a swing vote. Yeah, the great mistake here was going pen and paper. I should have went notes app Yeah, time to go on pen and paper. I get distracted with the pen and you were the one who brought the pen and paper out Yeah, I know yeah, we mean distract with the pen. You start doodling. You know, and then now you're not writing down answers You start yeah tough. I knew I shouldn't use the pen That sucks. Good duel me or good duel Hank. Good duel. Good duel. Way to be it's a pleasure. All right. Good job boys We'll see how it goes. We'll actually have the results for what we do fire fest So let's get to our interview with Stavvy. We'll get to Stavvy the second he's brought to you by tick pick the no nonsense ticket app Check the calendars. It's Sundays Mondays Thursday's football is taking over and tick pick is going to hook you guys up this fall The couch doesn't deserve you for all 18 weeks get out go see a game Check out the ticket the ticket prices on tick pick. There's no service fees ever That means that you're going to save money on tickets for the same seat that you're finding on other ticketing sites and all those savings they will add up and Would tick pick they've got the best prices and it's super easy to use their hooking us up. 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That's PMT 20 at check out 20 bucks off that first order Don't overpride overpay for the same ticket that you will find on other ticket marketplaces get it with tick pick today and Stavis also brought to you by twisted T young Henry and I had a couple ice cold twisted T's out on the course yesterday When all hope was lost at least we could still crack open a twisted T and enjoy some refreshment It's the dog days of summer twisted T is our go-to for cooling downloads heating up when it's hot I'm reaching for some ice cold. I'm talking twisted T the perfect drink for lake days beach days back. You're grilling all the good stuff that summer has to offer It's never too early to stock up for tailgate season count down the days until electric game days and cooler stock to the brim with ice cold twisted T So refreshing hard iced tea made with real brood tea 5% alcohol it's full flavor very refreshing ghost on smooth no carbonation. It makes it easy to drink all day long If it's hitting the course for around pre-gaming a ballgame or inviting the guys or for some backyard grilling Twisted T is always there that will keep the good time for rolling grab a refreshing twisted T today and now Here's Stavvy Okay, we now welcome on a very very special guest. It is our good friend Stavros Stavvy he's in studio. What's up boys? It's great to see you got a new special coming out on Tuesday on Netflix Very excited for it by the way congrats on being on the cover of the New York Times best seller It means a lot. This is our way of just common. We actually did an accidental genius thing where we put all of our friends on the cover So then when they come on we say hey congrats on Like oh congrats on your oh shit. I didn't want to mention it. Yeah, I just want to let you know you're on it. You did it It's you I'm dressing you. I mean this is this I am flatter to make the cut But you guys having a New York Times bestseller is a mark of the decline of society. It is the dumbest thing up You two are barely literally to let alone everybody who works here We've said we've said it multiple times but there's a there's a open parentheses on page eight that happens in a real book What even is this you guys just remembering podcasts? It's a book of oh that one time dude half the book is all the people wrote it for us. Yeah Yeah, we actually we had our guests that were our most popular regular guests, writing chapters and then they could say, hey, hey, we're in this book. You're going to read these. Right. And then on the cover of the amount of people that have confused you and Ryan Rusillow has been styled. Uh-huh. We have a similar look. Yeah. Rusillow would have my hair if he wasn't a coward. That's true. And it wasn't a fucking shaving coward. That's true. But yeah, no, there's a lot of, uh, we had a bunch of people write other chapters, a lot of pictures. You know, exactly to expect. Spat it out. Yeah. Like, this is the, this is the kind of work that's like to get a C minus in a community college history paper. Yeah. But because our world sucks dick, it's a New York Times best seller. That's why I like, I was actually like, I love to read a random pass. Let's flip. Can I actually see the book in flipped way random passes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You pick one out. I'm not joking. I was like mentally like struggling when they were like, your New York Times best song. I'm like, I shouldn't be. Yeah. This is bullshit. Okay. Here we go. What the fuck are we doing here? Guys. I like Jerry dude. But who wrote that, Jerry O'Connell by Charlie Barchett? Oh, that was, uh, we had, we had our own fans write chapters. What the fuck is this? So you guys just cut up a little man. No, you guys cut up a little man and put comments in the book. Yeah. You two comments in the video. We gave the way a chapter of the book. So, uh, so, yeah, throw the birthday to that. Congratulations. It's Charlie Barchett on being a New York Times best. Yeah. Oh, man. It's so fucking funny. I have the fact that you opened up to a literal fans chapter. That's such pieces of shit. That is so fucking funny. Some fucking guy who listens. No. Oh, man. Yeah. Oh, man. I, I, I, the fact that you opened up to a literal fans chapter. No. No disrespect, Charlie. I'm sure you're a beautiful guy. Yeah. The irony is, that's probably the most well written chapter. Absolutely. Oh, abs. He's. He's smarter than us. He's probably used spell check. That's so fucking funny. That's so funny. He was like a little nervous. Like I, I don't want to send them, you know, an absolute piece of garbage. Anything you do. So I'm going to have to like run this by a proofreader. He probably had his mom look it over. Yeah. So we didn't even do respect. That's awesome. We'll congratulate you. Yeah. All right. That's so funny. I'm looking over. Well, literally the same way with me, like I, this is my second Netflix special. Yeah. Society. And society is down, but we're up. Yeah, right. We're the, everyone who weirdly started a podcast in 2016. Guys like us. We have the 2016 podcast, Brotherhood, where it appears God chose us as his people. Yeah. And we keep winning that we don't deserve. The history books are going to write like what happened to the decline of like, you know, the Roman Empire, the American Empire. It's like, well, they had like guys like Stavie and Big Cat and PFT as cultural leaders. That was the dumbest thing in 2016. This gorilla got shot. Yeah. Yeah. The Big Bang. Yeah. People started listening to these fucking guys. Yeah, dude. Well, everything fell apart. Absolutely. We've watched the special folks, even though we don't deserve to be. If you bought the fucking book, the special, watch the special. Yeah. High art compared to the book. Yeah. Yeah. I did work harder. I definitely worked hard on the special than you worked on the book. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, we did, we, the book, we, we crammed. I assume you didn't cram the special. I did not. I did not. Two weeks before you started writing jokes. Like by percentages, we did work really, really hard on the book for about, yeah, 14 days. Non-stop. That's awesome. Yeah. I was just like that. I mean, you've been on fire. I was just telling you before I loved you and Bugonia. Yeah. Tyres is great. Tyres season three. Yeah. Everyone go, this isn't going to be a Shane Gillis suck up, which we do love Shane. But like, we can suck Shane. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, Shane is the man. Like, those guys are so fucking funny and fun to work with. And like, yeah, that's the beauty of it, dude. Shane. Tyres season one was a web series that Netflix bought for something. Yes. And by the season three, this was the one where I was like, oh, fuck. We're doing a real show. The writing. The writing. Yeah. The stunt. Like, the, the, the, the, the, the, just the whole thing looked different. And it actually was like, not only that, but it wasn't just a comedy. Like, it pulled you a little bit and I was like, some real acting. Yeah. Like, acting in like, like, drama and like, oh, fuck. I just felt something different than just laughing at these guys being very funny. But you were great in it. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it. A role you were born to play. Yeah. It was hard to have it. Did you have to method act to become a sex addict? It was hard to be a horny Greek guy kind of giving too much to his career. Yeah. I mean, it was really hard. It was really hard. Uh, yes. I keep getting, and look, I've been playing fat scumbags. I think it's time. I want to, and I got to play actually for the first time a fat cuck entire season three. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. But I'd like to play one more spiritual. You know, like, you know, like, you're, like, the, your uncle that, she, it wasn't going good for him. I would love to play like a fat ball, the accountant whose wife is fucking getting fucked on the side. Yeah. That's my next role. Yes. Because I've played scumbags. I'd like, yeah. Exactly. I'd like to play a sympathetic thing. A guy we all feel bad for. Exactly. And then you end up with like the hottest, you know, or maybe it ends up bad for me. Maybe I killed myself. My big dramatic turn. I mean, I did. Yeah. I saw the Odyssey this summer. And I thought, like, much, you know, a lot of other people online. I was like this. We're all the Greeks. That's it. That is a tough subject for me, because it was between me and Tom Holland for telemaca, so it's tough. It's tough. I don't, I don't usually like disclose that Hollywood insider stuff, but we were the last two and he just edged me out. So we needed more Greeks. By the way, I think we do have a cuck of the year. Yeah, we do. Hang on. He got to be here. I want it. For saying that his entire, the entirety of his family beat him up for saying one negative thing about Kamala. He said to Bill Martin, well, that's no way, that's the way for the lib of the year to be behaving. That would be Jersey. Jersey Jerry. Jersey Jerry. I mean, we talked about the fall of civilization. President Biden gave the award to Jersey Jerry this year. Yeah. That sounds about right, actually. Yeah. Okay. So here's mentally Biden is Jersey Jerry. It's actually Jersey Jerry. It's actually like, it like, it like, it like, bums me out that we've lost some things. It's like the, the, the rock and jock Dan Cortez, like, uh, what was it? Like MTV. Yeah. It's rock and jock. I have anymore because like, we would definitely have presidents playing in that. Oh, yeah. So fucking right. You know, pun passion kick. Yeah. That would be a presidential pun passion kick. I would love to see. It would be, yeah. It's not these motherfuckers can even like, take a walk. Yeah. It's crazy. It would be like JD events, stiff arm and karma to like, yeah, I need that her bikini top falls off. Yeah. So whole thing. Uh, so this is the cup of the year trophy. Okay. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. It's a man on a chair. So Ag and Mary Ways Jerry. The Jerry's are sort of mirror images of me. Yeah, they are. They're very similar. I'm not sure if it's true. of Queens, dude. Yeah. joke in a special where I was like, I'm mad 'cause that's not what life is like for fat people. Yeah. Like it's actually fucked up. They showed fat little boys that this is what life becomes because it's like no sleep apnea. It's back problems. No. It's not getting hard 'cause you had too big a sandwich. Dude, that's it. That's what it's actually like to be fat. It's the whole, it's the whole like dad bod and it's like the women don't actually want dad bodies. They want. Yeah. Dad's who are ripped. Absolutely. That's different. That would be the best one. They'll settle. They'll settle for somebody who looks like shit. Yeah. There's always like every fat guy in every TV show, every commercial has just like a nine out of 10 smoking wife. I know. He's always complaining about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be going, yeah. Amber on Wednesday. Yeah. It's Seth Rogen and Jason Siegel fucked it up too. That's their movies. They got a little sex. That's a great point. Yeah. Seth Rogen started fat and slowly became kind of sexy. Right. And Siegel too, when he shows his nice fat hog, yeah, that was a big moment. Big sir Marshal with their hanging dong when the protagonist of an appetite produced movie has a nice fat cock and he's not some fat guy with a little dick. That was when it all started. Yeah. Coming down for us. Oh, man. But yes. So, all right. So the special. Where did you film it? Filmed it in Baltimore at the lyrics. Hell, yes. It was. Yeah. I was going to say everything in your life is going well except the Lamar will never win the big one. Okay. What is this about? Why the fuck are you saying stuff like that? What do you mean? He's winning at this fucking year, dude. We got shit loaded. We got minted. We got the boy genius back there fucking setting up our defense. Fuck you. That's why Caleb's a piece of shit. He's a fucking bust and I was about to just hit P.F.D. for no reason, but you didn't say anything. I was getting worked up, but I'm going to I'm going to wait. I appreciate that. I was actually going to ask you a more positive question whether it's like having Nate Bargazio's red coach. He does look like Nate. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. Listen, the Ravens. I hope that I hope you get your wishes filled this year. Thank you. I'm going to work on your birthday again. It's not. I don't actually. I don't know. I don't think it is. What's your birthday? February 11th. No. No. I think Superl, this year's. Didn't they move before? It's like it's Valentine's Day. Yeah, that's basically it. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. So I do think you've got a decent chance. A little change of pace. I do feel like Harball moved on pretty quick after you guys. He did. He was like classic. Like the second you get divorced, you get a trophy. What? Like New York is totally busted. The giants are a busted woman with big fake tits because it's like, you know, she used to be hot. There's some history there. But it's like, you just, it's kind of like going Bayzo's like Bayzo's life. Yeah. That's what the giants are. A lot of history, you know, and you're trying to give it a facelift. You know, that's what part. And I think he will be good for them, honestly, but, you know, it's tough. I think as long as we got Lamar, we got Derek Henry. And if we can, I mean, look, Matt and BK comes back. That's the thing. Our edges are fucking nice. No, I think you guys are be good. I was just. But like, don't fuck with me. Big cat, you piece of shit because we, it is one of those things where I'm like, I want. I need Lamar to get to everything to click for one. Yeah. And you got Max Crosby. All right. We did fine on that. All right. You actually, we got. I actually think you did. Yeah. We finessed. We finessed the situation in a weird way. It was actually a nice spot where it's like, you're like, oh, fuck. Max Crosby's incredible. Of course. You're like, oh, we gave up that for Max Crosby. And then it flipped and you're like, oh, now we got. Okay. No, we're not fighting shit. Yeah. Who's not Max Crosby? Of course, though. But he's not, you know, we didn't give anything up. I think you guys are going to be in a better spot because I do think that the Harboth thing, like, he's a very good coach. But it does get stale at some point. And you know, like, you just lose the message. Having someone new, it's going to be similar because it's very like Josh Allen and Lamar have similar situations. Like coaches that maybe it got stale. And now they got new guys like, could it be the thing that propels them? Absolutely. And I think for both of those guys, it did feel a little late. I mean, I love Harboth, obviously. But to me, I mean, I will never stop thinking about that year where it was on my birthday because it felt like so perfect. That was such a good game. It was like, he goes out. We win. And then it was like, we still had Mike. Yeah. And Mike stays. And it was like, and like, I had this entire fairy tale where it's like Harboth, like, at the ceremony. And he's like, and here's your next head coach. And he goes, he becomes a ceremonial GM. But it was clear Harboth wasn't ready to, you know, these guys don't want to hang it up. And I, again, I think it'll be good for the Giants. They need to like a floor. Yeah, he's the redder for the Giants. Exactly. They're going to get a little chance. Exactly. Yeah. Eventually they'll eat through it. Yeah. That's the playoffs. They got to get to the playoffs. But let's get there first. Yeah. Are you Nick's fan? We were talking about this during the playoff. I am. Because I thought that you were. I was like, it's more of a Yannis fan. Yannis over everything. Absolutely. So I, this actually is, I would love to make this kid and talk to you guys about it as sports bros. Because I think I have an air tight. Some of my friends were like, making fun of me about being a Nick's fan on this championship run, particularly Joe Liszt, that Boston piece of shit. But I think I moved to New York 12 when Porzingis was drafted. 12 or 13 years ago. I don't remember when. Okay. I grew up in Baltimore. I'm not going to be a fuck. You know this. I'm not going to be a wizard. You don't even believe in the Wiz. No, dude. The Wiz are back. But like, I'm not from DC. This is a trick for PFT to have you bring up the Wiz. That is a good point. They are looking, they are, there's the first time you've had any hope ever. Yeah. In a really long time. Exactly. Just a little bit of Wizards talking all of a sudden to everybody. It's like, whoa. This is way too much. Yeah. But you know, I'm interested to see what happens. But I like, I could never do that. Maybe like a, being from Chicago and rooting for Milwaukee essentially. I never wanted to do that. And so when I moved to New York, if Baltimore had a team. Yeah. I would be the biggest superfan of all time. Yeah. Like, that's my favorite sport as much as I love football. Basketball's my favorite sport. I would be fucking, I would be Jack Nicholson for Baltimore, right? And you ride for Yannis. And I ride for Yannis. Yeah. And great. Do you ride for Yannis's brother the same way? Because that's kind of bullshit if you don't. I do. But you know, sounds like you don't. I will listen. I do because he's always been on the same roster the whole day. Right. I know. But now or the next one of them get left in Milwaukee. Yeah. I mean, they'll pick them up. So you have to like, I need you to like league past box games for. Yes. Yeah. Finances or whatever. Honestly, yeah. Finace, I don't think it is it. Which one is it? I don't know. There's four. This cost of a Nazi Alex. I think that not she's out now. You don't have a business mind. Okay. A shrewd man. Yeah. I will not say anything bad about a single did the rainbow brother. Nice try big cat. He eats. I mean, Yannis, this is a big. I feel like there's the next like three years. Like if you're gonna win another one, it's got to be now. And listen, I like, I mean, you know, they have such an incredible coach. He can fit like going to Miami is one of those places where you're like, all right. I mean, it was about to be doomsday when it was fucking Boston. I was going to fucking kill myself. Yeah. That would have been tough. I couldn't. It would have canceled out. Yeah. There was no. I would have turned your back on him. I would have had the good fellows give him a $1,300. And be like, I turn my back on you now. I have to root again. I couldn't. I couldn't. It would be the weirdest thing. It would be like, I would see his face and be happy and see his jersey and cry. Like, I think I would have lost my mind. Yeah. Which you have to convince yourself that he wasn't actually Greek. Like you're yourself a tale like actually. Oh, yeah. Really. Yeah. Yeah. No, he loves these too much. I couldn't do it. It would be hard. But I didn't. Luckily, didn't have to do it. Guess we'll never know. Yeah. And Miami. Listen. I'll never root for Miami. Like if they come against the Knicks, I'd root for the Knicks. But like, I don't like that it's arrival. I would have liked to feel like the Timberwolves would have been awesome. For example, you need him to go to the Sacramento Kings. No. I don't want to be bad. But it's just like somewhere cool. Yeah. Anyway, but I'm pumped. I think that like, you know, I just want to see what he does. Miami's a fun city. If I have to get down there and see some games, hey, he's not the worst thing in the world. Have you talked to him? No. Because he hasn't said moral talk to him. He was at a benefit. He was at a benefit where he was there and I just missed him. I was sick. Sam invited me. And I was sick that day. Did you know he was going to be there? No, I had no fucking idea. If you were sick and you were going to meet him, like you would have gone, right? Would you have gotten him sick? Or would you have felt like, oh, shit, maybe I shouldn't meet him. Maybe this would be saving his life by staying home. That's a good point. I probably would have, I don't remember how sick I was. If I probably would have masked up, you know, still had the COVID mask laying around, made sure. But like, he would have thought I'm an insane person. Yeah. It was also like a, like a gala. I think you had to wear a suit and tie. I would have been up there, masked up. Oh, yeah. I would have put it on just to meet him. He would be like, the fuck's going on. Anybody else? I don't give a shit about that. Yeah. Yeah. So much. How did you go to Greece this summer? I didn't do it. How's Greece doing? I heard in Greece, they don't have toilets that you can throw toilet paper away and unfortunately that is true. What is that mean? That's just, you know, bad post-war infrastructure. So there's a little shit basket. There's just, you need a little shit basket, huh? There's just trash in the toilet in the bathroom. Yes. With a lid. Yeah. You use a lid. And then you close that out. That's a tough. No one knows. No one knows. No one knows. No one knows. No one has an answer to that. Yeah. That's the, that's the, that's the flip side of a patriarchal society growing up the first born son I've never had to worry about. Yeah. It takes out the shit papers. You know, they're just, they're just gone when I get there. But yes, it's a tough look. That is, I mean, I think that would be a big player. He used to play in Russia that it was the same shit. I remember reading a, reading an article and they were like the one problem with playing overseas is that you can't flush your, like I think it was like a Diana Terossi quote. Yeah. Which is like somebody has to come and take mysteriously the shit papers disappear. For them too. Yeah. That's a big problem. That is one thing America is crushing really, yeah, plumbing air could. In addition, employment, we fucking kick ass. - I remember the first, I think that's the same way in parts of Latin America and South America too. - Of course, yeah. - And you go in there and as an American, you see that sign on the wall and you're like, surely they can't mean, like my poop, not me, it goes right here. - Am I poop? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, so that's major culture shock for us. You know, like it does me, I think it makes you gritty. It makes you gritty, it makes you, or by the way, it makes you earn every wipe. - That's true. - And now you're like, now it's not just an endless, an endless black hole you throw your shit paper on, there's limited space. - Yeah. - You have to be very strategic and you have to really get the most out of every square. - I'd have to be like, you know, like when you're in college and like you never want to take out the trash, you step on the trash, I'm stepping on the trash, on the shit paper, you have your shit boot, put on the shit paper boot and you just press it down. - I'm not taking it out today. - Yeah, you're just stacking a shit paper. You fold your shit paper into origami and put it on top. - Growing up, it was just like you flush something and then who knows where it goes. That's how you just get rid of stuff. You just push that golden edge gone. - Oh yeah, yeah. - We flushed our goldfish down the dead one. - We did it. - Yeah, I don't know. - People were upset about that. Like, where else is supposed to go? I was like, it's in the book, it was like nine years ago. - Oh, nine years ago. - Oh, you did, I thought you meant your children. - No, no. - I thought you were doing a heartwarming anecdote. - I said, don't, don't, man, we flushed our goldfish that we had make an FL picks for us down the toilet. - How could I forget? What was the goldfish? - It was a Larry's. - Larry's. - Larry's, Larry's goldfish. - It was like 55%. - Spectacular, Larry. - Like actually, the world's best gambler. - Yeah. - And then his grave got robbed. - We buried him in Canton, Ohio at the Hall of Fame. - Yeah. (all laughing) - He got a little gold jacket on his body. - He did better than the turtle. - Oh, the turtle saws. - We re-homed the turtle. - Re-homed. (all laughing) - The turtle was getting made. - Yeah, turtle, and they missed repair. And then we had Forrest Galante, who's a big wildlife guy, outdoorsman on YouTube, he came into the office and introduced him to Mr. Pair. And he goes, you know, Mr. Pair's actually, that's a female turtle. - Whoa. - And I was like, "Oh, that explains its record against the spread." (all laughing) - Yep, it doesn't really watch ball. (all laughing) - It could be a pair. - Yeah, it could give you like mixed signals on what it was for the turtle where it was going to be. - My fucking bitch, me turtle white bull suck me off. (all laughing) - I had to actually tell my kids that we didn't have Mr. Pair anymore. They were pretty upset. - Oh, no. - Yeah, Bailey. - Yeah, little kids loved turtle. - I was just like, listen, he, she, she, she, that bitch sucked a camp, that whore, that whore's the reason you don't have candy this week. That whore's the reason we're light on the Saturday donut. - Exactly, exactly, it's only for now. (all laughing) - All right, so what else is going on? I mean, it's-- - Dude, the special, really. Like, please watch the special everyone. It's good as fuck. - It's here. - It's your favorite one. - It's my favorite one. And I did it with Matt Johnson, who he directed Tony, he directing the front of the band, the show, Blackberry. - Oh, hell yeah. - He's so fucking funny. Matt's the man, and we did something kind of fun with the special, like we, we, like, I don't want to give you too much weight, but we do like some, or get, there's a real interaction, and then we build some interesting stuff on the special around it, because Matt is so good at like finding real people and putting them into like his movies and TV shows and stuff. So it's kind of like an interesting, if you're a fan of Matt, which his stuff is so great, you should check it out. And if you just like straight up good ass standup, I worked on this for like three years. I mean, you guys came to Chicago theater. - Yeah. - That's the, it's pretty much a better version of that from like a year ago, but I've been touring with this for like three years. So please watch the special everybody. That's the main thing, but then, you know, after that, there's all this shit I guess. - Yeah, are you gonna, like, because the acting's going so well, your podcast, everything, are you gonna stick with, like comedy, like, are you gonna, like, after this one, like this is a big one, I know, but like, it's hard, I would imagine, it's, doing standup comedies gotta be the hardest thing of the three, I would imagine. - You know, it's the, traveling's the most, but like, acting's kind of like, it's not harder, it's just fucking annoying. It's a real job. - Okay. - Like, other people depend on you. You can't wake up hung over, yell at your Albanian friend to go get you a fucking sausage egg and cheese. - Yeah. - Like, it's, and also, like, I'm not a fucking act. Like, I'm a standup. - Okay. - Like, it's like, I'm not one of these guys that wants to leave. - Okay. - I love, look, I want to be, like, the fact, like, I love Adam Sandler, Chris Farley movies, Will Ferrell. Like, I'd love to do, like, a Danny McBride, you know, Eastbounded down, my favorite show. Obviously, I'd love to keep doing stuff, like, tires and that kind of thing, but dude, standup is where I belong. - Because I would like in it to, like, in sports media, where it's like, newspaper writers want to be radio guys, radio guys want to be on TV, 'cause, like, TV's, like, a lot easier to do than write a column every night. - For sure, for sure. - Like, stand up, getting up every night is the biggest grind of all those. - And it, I mean, yes, it's like, ultimately, it easy compared to real jobs, but compared to other show biz jobs. It actually is more work. - Right. - But, I just fucking love, and it is killing me, clearly, like, touring destroys you. Like, and I eat, like, shit, I do drugs, whatever. But, and I can't-- - That's a really nice, whatever there. - And I do drugs, whatever. - And every time I want to, I relapse, but, I had a year and a half and some, right? And as soon as I got on the road the first day, I was like, let's get fucked up immediately. And I've just been doing that for two years since. So that's, I have some stuff to figure out. But, look, man, when I'm acting, I feel like a, it's like putting a little fucking rat in a tuxedo. But it's like, where I belong is in the mud, podcasting, doing stand up, like, you motherfuckers too. I mean, I remember when the ESPN show, and it was like, fucking heartbrake. Like, I remember it feeling shame, the ESPN show. It felt like there were moments where all of us were trying to do it, and Nick Mullin had his fucking commercial taken away, like, all of us kind of tried too fast to do it the regular way. And then we realized like, we're not meant for this moment. We're not meant to. - I don't get held these standards. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt like, we've done a lot of good fellow's illusions, but it was the getting made scene back to back to back. We're all my friends. We're getting insane opportunities and immediately getting fired. (laughing) And so I'm like, dude, I'm lucky that I was the lowest talented of that group, and it took 10 years for me to get stuff, to get like, and by the time I was getting mainstream stuff, I was like, oh, this is a bonus, but where I belong is here. - Yeah. - Doing stand up, fucking literally, you guys accidentally becoming the best, like, the reason I'm on the biggest sports show is because my dumb friends accidentally have it. I would never try and get on the biggest show of anything, you know what I mean? Like, my entire press tour was like, I was like, I guess I'll go to L.A. and do fucking bad friends. I'll just do bad friends, then I'll come here and do P.S. - Stop at Chicago, then I'll go by head up chain, and he was like, I'm going to another damn game. So I was like, all right, I guess I'm not doing that show. Like, that just much, I didn't try and reschedule. I was just like, hey, dude, are you gonna be around? He's like, no, I'm like, all right, fuck it. I guess I'm just not doing the biggest comedy podcast about my schedule. Our press tour for the book was like, going on other barstool shows. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just shitting your versions of your show. - No, we had a meeting and they were like-- - It was a Canadian version, yeah. - They were like, like, we're thinking maybe you do this, like, you know, a big, like, Fox hit or something. - Right. - And we're like, how about, we just say it on the number one sports podcast. (laughing) Like, I think we have our own press at this point. - We'll just get everybody that wrote a chapter in the book to promote the book. - Yeah, that's right, there makes you the New York Times bestseller. - Yeah. - Everybody who collaborated on this bought a copy, that's a million people. - Yeah, exactly. - It takes a village. - Yeah, the good fellow is an allergy. I think it's kind of like, back in the day, the mob tried to, you know, they tried to go clean. - Right, yeah. - Some people were trying to get legitimate businesses. And if they tried too hard to break in, they would get elbowed out because they'd be like, this guy's dirty, you don't expect this long track record. Until eventually you wait long enough and they just control some of the businesses now, the rich of businesses. And that's kind of like the podcast and classic. - That's a great point. - Of 2016, I think that's where we're at right now. - That is so true. - It's like, well, the mob kind of runs everything. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, what are you gonna do? Like Pat McAfee has the most power at ESPN. - I know, he has so much power. He thinks he can do music. (laughing) - You can't fuck with that anymore. - That's when you know someone is lost. It's like Roman Emperor successful. - Yeah. - Because he's like, oh, I'm actually good at, I'm gonna just do the song's jelly roll doesn't want to do. Whatever jelly roll through a way, I'll go ahead and take a crack. (laughing) - Yeah. - Love to do the show, Pat. - Anytime. - No, it's like, it's either that or like the nerd who starts doing like Brazilian jiu-jitsu. It's like, I could actually get in a real fight. - I'm actually jacked. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like when Jonah Hill was like, I could fuck any of you up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Nah, dude, I don't think so. - I love Jonah too. And it's like, we need to get back to what's beautiful about being, even if you're not fat anymore, in your soul, being a fat guy's good. - Yeah. - You know what I mean, stop trying to be, I don't want, we shouldn't be leading with violence. - Right. - When you've been a fat icon, even as skinny, it needs to be about having the good times rolling. - Yeah, it needs to be about making fun of yourself. - Absolutely. - That's how you make friends. - And you can make fun of your friends too, but you have to ultimately not be too serious about yourself. But yeah, dude, that's how I feel where I'm like, stand up is what I'll do forever podcast. And then like, listen, I'm not gonna stop them from putting me in movies. - I'm not gonna say no thank you. - That is the best feeling. Like we talked about it when we were going back in like the 10 years of like, having that realization. Like, I don't need the other things. You think you need 'em, 'cause that's what everyone tells you. And then you realize, wait, I don't need the SP, and I don't need a TV show. - We're pretty good. - We're having a pretty good time here. - This is insane. You're fucking full cool. - I just got, when you guys coming to York you're gonna come to the new office. I was honestly inspired by the fact that you guys just made a hilarious place to hang out. It's technically your job. I did the same thing in New York. I was trying to get myself a nice. - What'd you get, what'd you get set up? 'Cause the problem with New York, 'cause you just don't have the square footed. - Yeah, I mean, compared to this, it's so good. - Yeah, but what'd you get? - I just got like a real office. We have a studio. I got myself a little big buck hunter. Got myself a hundred inch television. - Hell yeah. - You know what I mean? Just couch that reclines, like the amount of hang space versus, and like, there's like a desk in the wall, like pushed up against the wall, but all the like video games and the fucking vintage pornography, that gets, that's number one. I'm gotta get up on your uncrustables game, though. That's the best thing. - Yeah, it's pretty sculturally. It's beautiful what you're doing uncrustables-wise. - I mean, it is great. The problem is, like every time you walk past that fridge, you think yourself one, I give myself a little treat. - Yeah, a little boost. - A treat, yeah. - Not a treat, a boost. - A boost for the work of- - A boost for the work of- - A boost of energy. - That's what, literally that's how I start. I was like, let me get one. - Yeah, my kidding. I got to start it with the fucking uncrustable. - Like, I feel my blood sugar might be a little bit low. This would be good for me to have this, yeah. - But it is, it is, yeah, I mean, like, I was, I think I was telling my wife, as she was like, what are you, like, in 20 years? I was like, yeah, I'd love to have like a bar, pizza place, like a place in the back that I could just hang with my friends, which is like, you literally have that now. There's no front to it, but you have that. You literally do that every day. - No, but I'm with you. - Yeah, you're right. - It needs to be an operating business. - Yeah. - I'm so with you, like, 'cause that's the next level. - Right. - It's like owning a failing business as you're like hanging, as you're living where it is. - As my hangout spot, like, in the back, I just have just like a, like, I walk by like a night to Columbus the other day. I was like, I just, I think I just want to be there. - Absolutely. Working, I want to work the fryer at a diner. Like, I want to work a black top. I would love if I had a fucking diner and nobody came in but my friends. - Yeah. - Awesome. - But also not work at that much. - No, I work one shift every four months. - Yeah, like chop, come out, chop some money, and simply be like, I'm gonna go play cards in the back. - Exactly. - Basically what I'm saying is when I get so fucking high that I'm nonverbal and I have a sandwich in my head that I can't, like, you know, communicate. - I want to go back there and create it myself. Like, I want to deep fry the tenders. I want to put bacon in the breading. Like, when I can't say it, that's what I want. - Yeah. - I want a full kitchen in my disposal to make that fat dreams come true. - Yes. - It's actually not the craziest thing to think that we would put it at some point, like a drive-through window here at the office and just hire somebody that's just like, yeah, selling subs at the side. - I mean, yes, you should just have, you should have a food truck that somebody that were, it's like in-house. - Yeah. - That's what you fucking eat. - I mean, Jeff Donnie kind of is that, yeah. - That's true, but I think we need to make it like formal. - Yeah. - Or a tireshop, just hang out. - Yeah. - That's, yeah. - That's not bad. - That's exactly it. Like, we basically have created a tireshop without any tires. - Yeah. - Have you, by working on the show, have you unknowingly, like, picked up all the tips and tricks about working at a tireshop? Like, all the ways they get you? - I have no idea. No, no, no, we do no real research. It's in a real tireshop and we are just, it's funny 'cause we're surrounded by functioning tireshops. Like, it's like Steve's dad shop is still my office, is his father's real office on the show. So, we're surrounded, but no, I'm having, all my time when we're not acting as eating uncrustables. - That's crazy. - 'Cause, you know, the crafty, I go buck wild on. Throw Reese's cup in the, like, - Oh, you have under the uncrustable? - Should we have, all right, Zach, you all right, let's get this part, 'cause they, please, we have a Reese's lounge here that you've all checked in. - Oh. - We have a literal candy shop in our, in our office. - Oh my God, you got the Reese's fucking sponsor. - We have a Reese's lounge. - I'm so jealous. - Stop, it has everything to be so jealous, dude. - You got a fast break. - Yeah. - We have a fast break. - Oh yeah, five, the fast break. - Yeah. (whistles) - I mean, we're, we're, we're joking. - We're joking, but like, when you were six years old, you're like, someday I want to be sponsored by Reese's. (laughs) - That came true. - Oh my God, that's beautiful. - We do have all the ingredients here to make an uncrustible with a Reese's. - Yeah. We'll get back to Stavine in a second, but Stavros is brought to you by our friends at Lucy, Lucy Breakers. I got him right here in my pocket. Lucy Breakers are intense, long-lasting flavor that actually satisfies bite and burst tech, bite down, to pop the capsule for a satisfying click and a rush of fresh flavor. Breaker's flavors are built to stay vivid from start to finish. Apple turns icy. Perry gets a blast as citrus and mint gets even more minty. Creating a refreshing flavor experience that lasts longer and stays more interesting than ordinary pouches. Lucy's the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor, get 20% off your first order when you buy online at Lucy.co/PMT with code PMT. And here comes a fine print. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Go get Lucy's today. Lucy.co/PMT. Code PMT, Lucy.co/PMT. Now back to Stavvy. All right, so Stavvy just met Zach for the first time. I know, but listen, in person, but like America, I've been enchanted by Zach's offbeat charm. Yes. So Stavvy, in the kitchen, he was like, what has changed around here? And Zach has been tasked with giving him an update. And then we'll maybe talk about maybe an update with him. I'd love an update. I have an update of my own. Yes, but I would love a general update because I literally think the last time I was here, I think Zach might have started, like, the week after. Yes, I just missed him. It was like April of last year. Yes. So, you know, I've loved the clips. I've loved, again, falling in love with those husky eyes. Oh my god. You know, it seems like, it seems like, again, those, that seems like someone gave, that was a gift from the God. Yes. Caribbean blue. It's beautiful. By the way, Zach, our bad not having you, we're literally like at your house yesterday. And we haven't talked to you. Oh, yeah, you guys are like down street, like 20 minutes. Yeah, we should have had you come with us. One of my, one of my friends was a bartender yesterday, right? Too much, you guys. It's Zach's like backyard and didn't bring him. That's fucking hilarious. We landed on, I was like, wait, isn't this where Zach's from? Like whoops. Should have brought him when he went to Florida. Yeah, we went to Florida for a fucking funny, dude. We just didn't bring him. Oh, it's Zach, ready? Yes, sir, first bulletin point I have on here is that we built a Yug Station for speed pounding beers. Ooh, I love that. And how much do you set us again? It's been, I think it's been retired. It's why I've even grown over it. Yeah. So Dana Bears wanted a Yug Station where he could, it looks like an actual gas pump, but it delivers you beer. And conceptually, I love it. Yes, conceptually made a lot of sense when he brought it to me. And so I was like, yes, of course, let's do it. I want you to be happy. He has not used it like that's a, that's a shame. Yeah, it sits right there. That's a real shame. Yeah, but it is a good idea. Yug's a great idea. Yeah, well, the only thing, the only, it hasn't, he's done probably like 15 episodes. The only thing that I made a manager, because I gave him like a decent budget to create this. I said that when you do a Yug Station episode, so it's essentially him just having a guest, the chug of beer, and that's the episode. I said, you have to also put it on Spotify. So there is a podcast version, it's like 90% of the podcast version has just ads and then it's like, hey, we got stopby here. All right, ready, set, go, go, and then they're like, all right, that was it. It's great podcast. That's an awesome podcast. All right, nice. I love that. Okay. Hank has become left handed. Yeah, really switched. Yeah. Entrance calls. Switches golf. Wow. Not a little late for that. Not entirely, because he's still like sometimes drives right handed, a little part right handed. Uh-huh. But yeah, he made, he's, he calls himself. He's a leftie now. Yes. Well, the thing is, that's how it starts. Yeah. You got, listen, sometimes even though you're wearing khakis in a button down, you got to put a little lipstick. Uh-huh. That's the first step to becoming who you really are. That feels nice. It's the first step, saying you're lefty is the first step to actually becoming a lefty. Well, then on a pair of heels, after a long day of work, that's step one. The crazy part was he has been a lefty his whole life. Really? And then for some reason, he decided he would golf righty. And that's just how he always golfed. And then he thought to himself, I need to go back to the old me. Yeah. But he got good at righty. Yeah. And then he switched it lefty and now he's worse at lefty. It has been nice tracking again. Here's what I know. I've been tracking Hank's misery. Yeah. That's been really nice because it's been a terrible year. It's been a, it's just an, and it's not really, I feel bad for Hank because he is really, he's the sin eater for every Boston sports fan basically on this show. And just he, it's just him. There's a couple avatars where you're like, I'm glad you're fucking sad because Boston has had it so nice. And the fact that it was, I know that skipping ahead, maybe I'm sorry, I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, spoil anything. But the fact that the Nick's championship was his birthday is maybe the most beautiful, as a fan of the show. Just a beautiful moment. So upset. And he lost live. Yeah. It's gone. Yeah. Biggest live head we know. That's embarrassed. To care about live is already the loss, but to like be sad is even worse. Well, I don't know if you heard it is last week. He went down to the last ever live event, and they all, they said they treated him like royalty, because they didn't realize like we've been mocking live all along. They were like, this is Hank. He does so much for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy fuck. I tried to introduce him to Dustin Johnson and they're like, hey, this is the guy that, you know, he's on part of my take. He talks about live all the time. Dustin was like, what? And he's like, walk away. Yeah. I don't know if you've got the tosses in care about living like so good. They cared so much more about living than the actual golfers who were on the track. Yeah, we get it for an insane paycheck. Yeah, $500 million. It's like, yeah, I can, oh, that's, oh, that's the number for me not to have principles. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like they got to figure it out. And I get to wear shorts. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I mean, all right. Next. Max has been married four times. Four times. Max got married four times. Yeah. Max got married the ceremonies. You got married this summer. Uh, it was a long process. It was Indian wedding. Is his wife? No, is that kind of thing? No. He got married. He had to like go to Philly. Like three separate times. Be like, oh, now we got to go get the license. Now we got to go get the, and we wanted to have a Philly marriage. Yeah, he went, he went to, he had a destination wedding. Yeah. So they got the actual, they had a destination wedding outside of America. So they had to like fill out all the paperwork. He also had two bachelor parties. Now, did we force him to have one of them? Yes. But it was a law. It was like three separate marriages. Right. Two bachelor parties. It was a law. And now he's on a two week sex vacation right now. Oh, so he's probably getting head right now. Right. He's in Italy right now. That's awesome. He's been listening to this show. Like that makes me feel good knowing that my boy's getting sucked off. Yeah. On his in Italy. Yeah. Belly full of linguine. You get it. You're dick sucked by the love of your life. Could be worse. Should we call here? I'll call all the number. You just ask him. Sure. All right, hold on. I'll hand you the phone. Let's see if he's getting people. One thing that he is doing is listening to part of my take, which I sure you, I would not be doing. If I were on an Italian sex, of course not. Hello. Hey, Max. Just wondering if you're getting head right now. What? Are you getting head on a veranda in Tuscany right now? Who is this? Hit your buddy, stop, Max. We were just talking about what I've missed. And I was and I was like, where's Max? And they're like, he's in Italy on a sex vacation. And then I started dreaming about how wonderful that would be. And so I was just wondering. I was seeing if you maybe had some tiramisu on your lips and maybe also a little pussy juice in your beard. That's all that's all I was asking. But hey, man, no, no, no. All right. I swear, laying on my bed. All right. So we're getting there. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, listen, enjoy my friend. Congratulations. What time is it over there? It's like seven. We're not. She's free. Oh, okay. I see. He's settling into some head. This might be before dinner and giving by the way. Yeah. Come on. The Italians are passionate. Yeah. All right. Next up. There's been some great memorabilia pickups. Color notable ones. FSU COVID banner at half court. Also Taylor Swift chair in the act studio. Yeah, I would love to. Yeah, we're we. Oh, it's in the. Yeah. There's. I love to when I do the ex it in Taylor, I bought the chair. The Taylor Swift sat in for gameplay of the next verse. Cleveland, which was in Cleveland. Yeah. And then came to the Nick. That pissed me off. Yeah. You can't listen. And with the ham sisters who are fucking L.A. I was like, come on guys. You can't be rooting against the calves and the rooting for the calves and then immediately come with Etsy level girl pun t-shirts. That that was a little that was a little much for me. She took the best pun by far and that was kind of fucked up. Oh, she. I don't remember. It's Stevie Nicks. It was her. Stevie Nicks is good. Yeah. She also gave one. It's her and Mariska Hargitay. Yeah, Stevie Nicks. Yeah. Listen, I'm not I don't want any beef on the eve of the special coming out. She's a very talented. That's the bad idea. Okay. I take it back. Actually, it was good that she did that. Yeah. Please. I love the chair. I will sit in the chair. I love you. She did a great job. Don't attack me. Pre-special. Please, Swifties. Did you know what? Fuck that. I have to be a man in principle. Yeah. I did not like that. And it's okay for me to say that. And you please don't attack me. But also what's the special? Please watch. Did you think yourself like maybe, maybe I'll get an invite to the wedding. How many people would have to be invited for me to get the end? It seemed like a lot. I had some I had like a crazy amount of friends that were there. Yes. I mean, it was really. I mean, Santino was there. Yep. You know, Tommy Alter, the guy who knows everyone on earth. Yep. And no one is exactly sure what his job is or what he's ever contributed to society. It's Tommy the CIA. I'm just thinking about it right now. He might the way that he runs our fantasy football league. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. He's like, Hey, do you guys want Tommy's massage? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would not put a pass that motherfucker. Hey, see me just real quick. A copy of your fingerprints. Also, we got Tim Robinson. The public this year. Let's go boys. That is. Yeah. I did not think I was getting an invite. Actually, you know what? I'm actually mad at you, mother fucks. Maybe I met at memes because one time where they got fucking where they got engaged, you reran the video I did right after we lost and it made it look like remember I was like, fuck, fuck Travis Kelsey. Yeah, fuck. I was going off because it was the day after the where we've been talking about this interview. One of the darkest hours of my life was being at the AFC championship in the building watching them win. And I came back like I always do. I'm an open book. Yep. And I come on. I face the lashing. I never hide. I'm always depressed. It was a very commendable performance. And whoever posted it, the day they got engaged, which I never would come out there with that. The day they got engaged, it looked like I was that mad at them for getting married. I wasn't I was celebrating them at that point. And now I think I now now I've become an enemy of the which I'm a now look again. Am I mad at the Kelsey brothers for coming into podcasting? Of course. Yeah. As we've said, this is for the rats. Yeah. This is the sewer of entertainment. You shouldn't get to be Taylor Swift's husband, a handsome athlete. Your brothers and all pro Super Bowl winner like with a beautiful family. Stay out of podcasting you cock suckers. This is for us. But I would never have admonished them at that level on their engagement day. So I don't know if it was memes with somebody else, but for fuck you memes. Yeah, that was by fault. I remember that. That clip is so funny. Yes, we got a bunch of memories. You're on your your foot is on the Boise State. Oh, the car the turf. This is a real blue turf from Boise. Yeah. From the fucking Statue of Liberty. Yeah. For most of your bitch right after winning this turf. This is the turf. Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. All right. We also have a trough from the from the bills stadiums trough. Yeah, fully functional. So please use it. Sign it. I will. Yeah. I've gotten a little bit of a kick on weird memory. And tell me, fill me in on the ice cream. I know Zach, that's your area of expertise. I love that you guys are creaming up here. What kind of mixes are we using? Do we get into any custards with flavors? So Jacob, Oh, and I do man the ice picket sauce or ice cream machine. Yeah. So we got vanilla chocolate and swirl two flavors and then twist. As far as the mix goes, Stabby, we run a 10% milk fat. So it is a custard coming up. I love see. I didn't even have to ask for a custard. It already come standard around here. Correct. I love how the fuck you guys get down. Dude, it's this is as per. It's pathetic, but also awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I'll, I'll just have three ice cream cones. Yeah. A day. No, I'm about to hit that. I mean, I'm just going to take ice cream with Pepto Bismol in a second. Yeah. When you're like, I just need it. Yeah. I know my stomach can't handle this, but my man said he's guys working a 10% milk fat. You got to have you tell me I'm not going to have a cone of custard on my way to the fucking airport. Yeah. Fuck that. They need to make a Pepto syrup. As a topping. They need a sweet and savory. Give me garlic, palm. Get garlic, palm, Pepto. It'll also be great if we got you, you crush up like Zantak and that's in the ranch. Yeah. Yeah. They should do it for everything. We should get like a Pepto nicotine patch. Walking around, you're like, oh, this is my Pepto. I don't have to shit right now. As long as I have this patch on, I can eat as much chili as I want in no diarrhea. Can I get some of those nachos with the the prilo cheese? Dude, I've been thinking about this. The the the foods that evil companies are going to create to beat osempic Dorito like like chips, like the chips, the ice creams, the whatever, you know, fast food. Oh, it's going to be incredible. They're going to taste so good. I can't wait. I'm so excited. I can't wait for the osempic busters. Yeah. They're in the lab right now. They're in the lab trying to beat it. Make us fatter than ever. Everyone came to like his team. The panthers give up a touchdown. He's on the sidelines and he just nods his head. Yeah. That's right. That's what. Yeah. That's what the food son is saying. Poor Malarov. Yeah. Yeah. Took that personal. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Ice cream machines change. I love that. I love it. It's incredible. And they've done a great job of operating it and keeping it. They know everything about it. I respect that so much in a different life. I think I would love to serve with you at the ice cream station. Yeah. Any day you want to pick up a ship. There was a hot dog rescue mission from the ceiling. Now it's going to catch you for lifetime. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Excellent. That was fine. Excellent. David, we got a hot dog stuck in the ceiling. Interesting. Yeah. It's pretty much all you need to know. And how did that happen? It was like a tennis racket. Someone. Okay. KB took a free throw and then on tennis racket launched a hot dog into the air ducts. Pretty sick. It stopped the office for an entire day trying to get the hot dog out of the ceiling. The air was fucking. Yeah. Yeah. We're basically running Scooby-Doo episode. I love that. The breaking bad episode with the fly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Hot dog following the hot dog. Give me your top three. Is that give me give me the last the final the best three remaining. Best remaining max out merit again, we started call duty team, and Little bias there on your behalf Just like you care about that way more than most people That you and your friends started playing call of duty together But it's nice you got you you're hard asleep. Yeah, and Big M50 Right book and then re and then re wrote a book and the book came out and then it's our one respect. Yeah, I love that That's a beautiful. Yeah, that's that's about right to me. I was like we got Zach We got to you know that he's been he's been a lightning rod really really started up It's it's like when they add a cute little kid to a failing sitcom 10 years in but it actually works You know to me like he's poochie from from the Simpsons, but if it was awesome Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I also like did Zach just summarize our entire year, and if you're like hey Can you actually just make that one line? It's like we eat a lot ice cream That was the most impassioned one and that's the one I cared about the most Yeah, that and again Hank and as a result all of Boston's misery has been awesome left Yeah, it's been awesome. Yeah, okay, so what's your update for so I actually have just been I'm getting to check in with all my friends I haven't seen why I was just in the bad friend studio, and there's a palpable energy buzzing throughout the whole place I just you know, I don't know if you guys know what's going on But there it felt I wasn't privy to what was going ever was kind of whispering, but it some it felt like The love was in the air If I was over there. It was me Bobby me Bobby Santino all the productions that and they were kind of discussing a Member of the crew was really excited about something, but I couldn't really pick up does that is that like Does that kind of jive with anything you guys know because I know it wasn't Santino in here recently? Yeah, yeah, we're talking about it the other day was that can I exactly watch the show all the time He's a big fan this comes out next so I recorded it like a couple days ago It will come out after this. Yeah, yeah, but we didn't talk about it on air It was more see that's the thing it wasn't about it didn't feel like it was about for content content Yeah, like deeper than that. We'll cut all this we can cut all of this, but I'm just saying I'm just saying something was going on there I would make a trip if I was a member of this this crew Mm-hmm. I would maybe start looking at Airbnb's in Los Angeles Maybe take a trip do you guys have anything you need somebody to cover in L.A. So yeah, definitely yeah, I was just thinking about the chargers. Yeah, right Take out so fine. Oh, let's you know what? Both up. Maybe go let's get boots on the ground for this clipper situation Oh, we need to investigate it with public or you lose I need you go out there and come back with a report that says everything is fine Yeah, I do think I would love to see and listen, you're reporting you might get hungry, you know You might need to dig grab some the eat and I'm scared this kid is a sweet kid. I wouldn't trust him in the big city of L.A. alone You might need a chaperone. Mm-hmm. You might need somebody who will check with Santino or Bobby Lee and if they're busy Maybe they know somebody. Yeah, cuz you all you were saying before the only people you know in L.A. That could possibly help that it's like Andrew Bobby and then whoever they know. Yeah, I don't know anybody else and they're busy guys They're busy, so it's probably not gonna be them, but I'm sure they have like I don't know someone who's like Somewhere between a family member and a staff member employee Which seems like a weird type of person. Yeah, but I'm sure one of them has someone that's sort of like a knee sand and assistant or something at the same time So yeah, I don't know again. I'm just speculating. I'm just spitballing But it feels like to me let's start with Zach needs to do a little investigative report Yeah, yeah, he needs to put on his fucking his Sherlock Holmes hat and go find us Uncle Dennis Yeah, go find us the locations of Uncle Dennis back No, I'm with these boots on the ground boys. You're ready to go Sanctuary, Zach's got a girlfriend now. Oh, really her name's Rudy. That's so much sense All right, that's beautiful man. Yeah, it was buzzing the energy was real. I love it. We're just a couple guys speculating right now You know just a couple guys speculating. I'm just I'm reporting to you what I felt in the room right at bad French studio I was and I'm sure you could report where you feel in the room right now back to them as well I could through the glass yeah palpable. You can I'm actually smelling Zach's pheromones through the glass That's what yeah, but I'm picking it up. That's exactly right. Yeah, but Zach That's what if a woman were to smell this watch out. Mm-hmm. All I'm saying is you'd have to hose this fucking pleather couch down If I were of the female persuasion right now, I'm smelling what I'm smelling coming through the plexiglass. Oh boy Memes gonna have to burn that hoodie as fucking girlfriend's gonna ovulate as soon as she smells it she smells Zach's fucking pheromones Zach you got this man Zach would you be interested in that? Oh Yeah, I'm I'm willing to cover any story for the show What a good guy. What a good guy. I love that. All right, Zach. Do you have a question for for stopby rowback.com RHOP ack.com promo code take 20% off your first purchase Qzips polos hoodies jogger shorts at rowback.com promo code take So you mentioned a little earlier in the show that you do have a special call on Netflix soon. Mm-hmm. How do you go? What's the back and forth when it comes to like Uh Maybe companies being like you can't have they try to tell you not to put anything in and how does that discourse go What like like where do you draw the line? I'm like no, I got to still be me and then still kind of cooperate with what's going on Yeah, sure. I don't think that's happening at all anymore. I think like that's a Completely overdone. Yeah, in fact like Clearly, I mean Netflix has bought into like I said you like they've come to the internet Yeah, they they put kill Tony specials on Netflix now, right? Like there's no I think the idea that cancel culture exists at all Is completely fake. I think like the most successful people say kind of fucked up stuff And I'll just say in my personal like working with Netflix. They've been like shockingly cool. Mm-hmm Like there have been stuff where I'm like here we go. They're gonna fight me on, you know This joke where I said a public assassination was good for example And they didn't you know what I mean like and they've been they've watched it at every like Level and they've been actually so fucking cool to work with um, and so yeah I would say in general's like I think that stuff's way overblown and I think Most of it was just complaining to be honest like Look at the people who've complained about that. They also happened to have hundreds of millions of dollars Right if for the most part right and now of course a lot of shitty comedians who want to say slurs can't do it Right, but that's because they're bad at comedy and or don't have a fanbase or whatever So and not that I'm saying that's that's what I want to do But I do like I could say pretty much they've kind of let me get away with anything Yeah, and I think like If anything which's been harder is the it's kind of flipped where now the internet I don't know if you guys feel this I feel more censored like YouTube and Instagram now they're trying to become cable TV Yeah, you can't say fuck you can't you can't show tits bobbling you can't show a simulated cock get hard These are all problems I had during a recent mission impossible spoof trailer that I posted Where where I was breaking into the CIA because the government had made it illegal to look at titties And so I did a spoof. I spent a lot of money on like a mission impossible spoof Which makes no sense. Yeah, you can't even tell it to stand up. I realized I was like wait We don't make it clear. This is for stand up I've just been like $20,000 making a video for fun Anyway, I love I love mission possible so much, but I do think like censorship has gotten kind of weird from like the internet and algorithms now kind of controlling us and I prefer To your question where it was like someone you could talk to because you could have a conversation But now all these tech dickheads are like oh, it's the algorithm But you just fucking made the algorithm right too much of a coward to answer for it. So yeah, that's that's my roundabout answer there Zach I was asked to question remind me of something Growing up we had like iconic stand-up specials. Yes, that like stand out in the canon of like stand up kind of blacker You know, I mean like Dave should Pell's first to specials Louis hilarious all that kind of stuff right so chewed up since that elephant in the room Anyway, keep going. I would say like do I are there is there anything in the last like 15 20 years that we can say like This is a legendary stand-up special or is it it might just be that we're too too close to it that we won't know for a while But like yeah, I was just thinking is are there any iconic stand-up specials that stick out That's a fucking great question. I I do think unfortunately like it's lost a little of its of it's like mystique until now, by the way until now Also stop uncle stops bringing it back. I mean dude honestly. I I hired a real I got an actual film director to do it like we shot at the lyric Which is a it's a 2500 cedar. So it's this beautiful expensive like I spent a lot of fuck and I broke my arm and I had to postpone it So I'd like pay for certain shit twice. So I am trying hard to do a because I love those classic standard specials But sometimes I do worry that it's just move culture is just moved on. It's the monocultures in there anymore And like you keep like everyone has seen this thing totally totally there's no like appointment viewing anymore. There's no like Eddie Murphy's Raw. There's no Richard prior specials. There's no I mean even like we were saying Chris rock Like like Chappelle and I think when Chappelle first came back he had the attention. Yeah, and those were very Talked about but I do think they were good his first specials back were good But I don't think they exactly matched the absolute legendary stuff. He did you know in DC, you know You know coming up or whatever And and I think I think that was the last time people were paying attention And to that level was Chappelle when he first came back, but that's a, I don't think so, P.F. Because I think the way people take in comedy now is just so, there's just, specials were special because you never saw Stan. You like, maybe saw it live, but there was no fucking TikToks. There was no, you didn't hear fucking dickheads like me talking eight hours a week for free. So it just, it was like, if everything we do between clips, specials, YouTube, podcasts was all in one release over that happened every four years, it makes sense why people gave more of a fuck like it does make me sad that I think a lot of people are just going to watch my special the way they watch like this podcast. Yeah. It'll be on their phone between shit, whereas, you know, I would like for there to be a separation between a special and day-to-day stuff, but you also just have to be real. That's just not how people take in media now. Yeah. No, it's true. Like, putting out a podcast three times a week, I'm like, oh, yeah, people are just watching it and then it's just gone forever. And you don't want that to happen for something that is, you know, a lot more work was put into a special than just doing like, hey, this is just Wednesday in the middle of August. Totally, totally. But, you know, whatever, man, if people enjoy it, it's funny and it's sometimes we just have to do it for us. Yeah. Right? Like, even that vision of the possible thing, it's like, it didn't make sense, but you know what? The way you motherfuckers get to buy an ice cream machine, it's like, how about I use some of the Netflix budget to pretend I'm Tom Cruise. Yeah. That's just fun to do. Yeah. So why not? If you're going to make it and be a dumbass, do dumb shit. So the dumb asses that did make it can be like, at least somebody's doing it like, yeah. Yeah. Spend your money on the dumbass. I don't know what investing is. Yeah. I went into a harness with a bad back because I wanted to pretend I was Ethan Hunt. Right. Yeah. Sometimes I find myself, I do stuff just because 13 year old me would have wanted me to spend the money. Exactly. Like guitar. Yes. I was like, you know, it's 13. This was a kid. Shredding, dude. Is it a V? No, it's not the flying V. I thought about that. It's ESG double. Look, that. That's beautiful. Yeah. Got an El Camino because when I was 13, I was like, that's the car. Sometimes it's good. It's good for your mental. No, and it's also like, I mean, let's not be realistic here. Like, all three of us have been successful and made money that we never imagined to make. What would, like, would you want me to talk about like, oh, yeah, I put, I invested my money and now it's making money, or be like, hey, he bought a trough from the bill state that he puts it in now. By the way, I like to stay for the record. I have never invested anything. I just have a bunch of money and I bought it out of the savings account. I have a savings account. Okay. Recently, I got two or three different bank accounts. It always to be like one checking account until so recently. Is it high interest at least? You got. I think so. That sounds like maybe not. Whatever, man, who gives a fuck? I think it's nice to not know what to do with money. Yeah. It does give you a great, if you ever get caught, like, or like in trouble with the IRS, be like, listen, I really just put my money there. Yeah. That's all it stayed there. No, it's all it's all my, all my money is tied up in Dave and Buster's gift cards right now. I uncle Sam ain't got to know about those. Yeah. All right. Last thing. So, everyone, please do watch. Please watch. I'll show you how Tuesday, September 8th, prediction for the Raven season. You know what? Give us. Yes. Obviously, super, we're winning the Super. Of course we're in the Super. No, but let's go realistic. I'm not going to hold you to it. Like, it's, it's, I think we get 11 wins. Okay. Yeah. And I think we're winning the Super Bowl. Oh, you are? Yes. Okay. What the fuck? You don't think you're winning the Super Bowl? No, I think the, I don't know the pairs defense sucks. If you at this moment, right before the season, don't think your team is winning the Super Bowl. You're a fucking piece of shit. This is the moment where I know I just I hope springs eternal. But are you also like? Yeah. I actually do think we're in the Super Bowl. You're not because you suck, but we will because we're awesome. So, but that's how everyone should think. Yeah. And right now, of course, it's fucking awesome. We, I do think mint. There's going to be fucking great. I do think like, you know, just give us, give Lamar another shot that he's so good. But to me, it's always like he's cool. I've said it a bunch of times. He's cool, Peyton Manning to me where it's like, he will just keep giving him shots. He's awesome. It's going to fucking happen. And so I think Peyton Manning won his first Super Bowl like right around the age of Lamar and Josh Allen right now. Yeah, exactly. I think it's, I think there, I think like, again, Lamar is due. You don't have to lump him in with inferior talents. Okay. Lamar is the best in the fucking league. And I do think like we have an, if your team is a contender and you don't think at this, date right now, early September, you're going to win way even fucking one. No, I think, I think I actually thought the Bears are going to win the Super Bowl before free agency and they didn't do anything for the defensive line. And I was like, well, fuck. That didn't get better. That's true. That's it. Would you rather that Patrick Holmes wins another Super Bowl or Josh Allen gets one? Oh, good question. I'm not a hater. Josh Allen. Absolutely. I think like, first of all, Buffalo, I respect that fan base. I think Josh Allen's awesome, but I do think, and again, it's a team game. That's the other thing. It's like everybody gets on these quarterbacks, but, you know, our defense, our defense has our defense historically done that well for Lamar, not really. He gets all the, in the playoffs, he gets, you know, everyone shits on him and it absolutely has made a couple mistakes here and there, but, you know, I could see, I'd be happy for Josh if it happened. Because if it's not us, I'd be happy for the bills. That's it. I appreciate that answer. I'm just saying the danger that you run into is the previous generation had their Dan Marino that now everybody says like Dan Marino and everyone instantly thinks they don't think about how awesome he was. It's just like, oh, yeah, he never won anything. But they do, but this generation, and without awesomies, it does, that's true. But now like Lamar and Josh are both kind of protected because they both kind of have had their hopes and dreams killed by the Big Bad Wolf, Patrick Mahomes. Then if there's just one of those guys left, then that's the guy that really kind of has to wear that. It's a long, we have a long time. You can't let yourself, I'm not going to let my life be dictated by fucking Steven A. Smith style narratives. Like smart. Like Lamar is so fucking awesome. He will win. But if he doesn't win, like he has given me, Lamar is right now given my life more enjoyment than a Super Bowl winning quarterback has given other teams, right? I have had more positive moments overall and I will in my life than, you know, even one great Super Bowl run that comes out of nowhere. Like the Nick Foles Super Bowl run, for example, Nick Foles, yeah, that was an insane thing and fuck the Patriots. That was awesome. It will live on forever. But more over time, Lamar has given me more joy than he, than Nick Foles has given Phil Delphi Eagles fans. Truly. I really believe that and we have to stop being rings only that is not me getting ahead of him never winning. He is going to win. So smart. I'm telling that to you guys. Yeah. These are the kind of things you're going to have to know. I agree with you. You know what I'm saying? I always say that you got to the ride. If you can't enjoy the ride, it's the obviously the point. It's getting your digsuck by Calypso. Yeah. I began my digsuck by Calypso a lot. You've been eating Lotus. I've been eating Lotus. That's fine. Lotus is awesome. I don't fucking need to get home. Not everybody gets home. Yeah. Robert Pads might fuck my wife. I don't care. I'm having Lotus and Eden fucking getting pussy from Calypso. Yeah. It's like the Bears beat the Packers in the playoffs last year. I was at the game. I floated out of that stadium. I remember like all of like for, you know, first time. I'm like, you've been there. It's like, no dude. This is the, you have to sell that. Fuck that. These moments. I haven't been there before. Like that's the thing. I don't want to act like why the fuck should I have the core of him as a fan? Yeah. I'm here. I'm fucked up. I've eaten 40 Buffalo wings. I'm making my, everyone in my life around me is mad at me. I'm going to enjoy this Sunday. Yes. You're a description of like what is failure and what that's pretty much, that's what Yana said. Exactly. Well, he was a pussy for that. No, he wasn't. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah. God, I'm glad the bulls will never be good again. Ever. I think it's never ever. It was like sometimes it's good to lose and not win. Yeah. Yana's. Yeah. Little more interesting. Is it champion? Is it fucking finals MVP? Had one of the most incredible ceiling performances and plays in NBA history and conquered his demons. How many fucking free throws did he hit on that clinching game? I don't hear a fucking bad word about Yana said that the Kumbo, thank you very much. But I also think- Oh, so it throws his poop toilet paper in the trash can. I got a hunch. I got a hunch. The places and Athens that Yana says they got real plumbing. Okay. Okay. I got a hunch. He's graduated to real plumbing. There's a couple buildings that they tell. They don't tell most people about Yana's nose about it. Okay. I don't think that body is equipped. Like there's no trash can in Greece. Yeah. We can handle that. Yeah. People would be like robbing it like the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift trash out Yeah, he honest is poop toy. Yeah, they're like, oh fuck Andrew Santino's napkin Oh, man, all right, stop it. You're the best boys always great catching up with you man. I know we love having you on and come back Come to come to this time. So come doing you studio. Yeah, please hit me up. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. Thank you boys You're the bus stop on Netflix September 8th Stavie was brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy It's the heartbeat of America. It's a heartbeat. It's today is Chevrolet Chevy's always been called the heartbeat of America the Silverado keeps that heartbeat going strong These trucks work hard so you can chill harder That's getting out of town going to the lake or just not turning around when you probably should Chevy's got the capability the space and the muscle everything you need for a proper summer Coolers gear whatever your version of chill looks like because at the end of the day Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. Let's be honest, you've earned the summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll those windows down, turn the music up and just listen. It's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy.com. Learn more today. And before we get to Fire Fest of the Week, it's brought to you by Pepsi. Football's back. No game day spread. It's complete without the great taste of Pepsi zero sugar. Zero sugar. You spend all week thinking about the wings, the nachos, the burgers that you're going to eat. Are you pairing it with the right drink? But if you're not drinking it, if you're not drinking a Pepsi with all those tasty football foods, you're doing it wrong. It makes every food better. Pepsi zero sugar has a bold refreshing taste. It doesn't just compliment your favorite tailgate foods. It makes the whole experience in every bite hit a little bit better. It's like watching your quarterback escape three sacks to find a man in the back of the end zone. It's like watching your rival miss a chip shot fuel goal to lose a big game. Grab Pepsi zero sugar to elevate your game day. Tailgating deserves Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Now it's time for Fire Fest of the Week. Okay. Let's wrap up. We've got Fire Fest of the Week and we also have Breaking Moose. Zach brought up the Sydney Swingy dress during Breaking Moose. Breaking Moose. A lot of milk thoughts. Breaking Moose. Henry Lockwood in a clean sweep has defeated Zach in the Mount Rushmore duel. Hank, congratulations. There will be no punishment for you. Zach, there will be a punishment for you. We still haven't decided it. I actually was thinking about it PFT. And this is Hank. I would have done the same punishment for you. I think Zach should have to fly to a city and take a random girl out on a date. That sounds. Yeah. Maybe like a what city's been in the news a lot today. Oh, the clippers. So where are they playing? LA. Yeah. Yeah. I deserve to get punished. There's a bad showing today. Hank absolutely both raised me. Dude, that was so bad. Was it? What were the actual final clean sweep? I thought maybe you had name names. I thought names you had a chance. Some homin crew did some homin crew's not. It was not there for you, Zach. Brutal in the Mount Rushmore of dumb things you think. Hank won 57% in the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in. Hank won 79.9% which that was we predicted that. And then Mount Rushmore names Hank 168.2%. Pretty convincing sweep. Yeah. Do you have it? Oh, Zach. What? I did. He. That's not how you spelled the Vante. You you approved that spelling. Yeah. I'm never here. I want I probably won't be a guy who tries to get it. Somebody else was spelling. I just let it roll. Okay. All right. That might have cost you a percentage. You still would have lost. Yeah. I was still what I got. Absolutely. Can you prove that? Well, here's the bad part about it is he approved DEV from the guy that does the best A's in the business. Yeah. You could have it. You could have turned down one of Shane's A's. Yeah. Tiger being on there and still winning by overwhelming majority is very funny. Feels good. I do. It does feel bad. You know, because me and Zach were partners this year. Oh, yeah, that's true. That was actually fitting. You guys were the worst team. But I'm not going to do the date obviously, but if the punishment ends up being some type of stream or something, I will commit the half. All right. I'm looking at Zach's Mount Rushmore here. It's got right in the middle, Muhammad and Drew and Zach. Nobody's ever drew Muhammad and gotten away with it. Oh, Zach. Way to be in the calcium today, Hank, your hell of an opponent. Yeah. Do you have any message out there for either the haters that said, Hank couldn't do it or maybe the people that have supported Hank throughout the last couple shows? No, I mean, the haters were right. It's become clear to me I'm not creating Mount Rushmore, but we didn't come in last. That's the goal. It's not about coming in first. It's about not coming in last. So we accomplished our goal and now we got time to reboot and get in the lab and continue with this momentum going into next year. I'm going to be the freshest next year. Why the freshest? Because you got like, I'm going to be the most, most, uh. The freshest. The freshest. I'm going to be the least rusty. Okay. But you're not going to be fresh. You're going to be maybe worn out from the long postings. Yeah. No, least rusty. Like, I've been, I've been taking care of my body for three weeks now and you, you're just getting to the offseason. Right. So I'll be tuned up ready to go. Yeah, I don't think that's going to take you a few Mount Rushmore's to get, to get warmed up. Got it. Got it. We'll come up with something, some different shit for next year. We've got a, I had a couple ideas today. Yeah. I also got a bunch of like really good submissions today when I asked online. So, well, Zach, maybe farm the, my mentions for that. I can do that, you sir. There's a lot. Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. I wanted to do the Mount Rushmore tricks, but I think that would have been tough for you guys off, off the top of your head. Uh, when you go to a massage place by the ****, my video in there. Absolutely. Okay, Doug. 1080. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Statue of Liberty, got your nose, fumble, fumble, rusky. Yeah. Got your nose. Good one. Rabbit out of hat. Yeah. Oh, sleep flicker. Oh, it's just in general. Yeah. You got some reward. Oh, I must fell for that right now. That's a good one. Okay. Oh, she's untied. Uh, Hank, you're, you're firefasts. Yeah. This is a, uh, Wednesday we talked about the grudge match. I put Big Hat, uh, Whitney and, and Dave on my hot seat, three verse, three scramble. You're pretty confident. I was confident. I was, I was, I was trying to just drum up, you know, drumming up. Obviously, I was, I was confident, but like I was, I was trying to, I was trying to, you know, promote the grudge because there wasn't really a grudge otherwise. No, it was very weird to have a grudge match against you my best friends. Speak for yourself. Yeah. So I was, I was just trying to, you know, get, get some, get some chatter going, get some, get some, some tension rising, thinking it was going to be a close match. I switched to lefty thinking and, and this was like the perfect time. Like I was like, by the time, you know, end of the summer, like I should be in a good spot. Lefty. That was the goal going into it. Yesterday, I had the chance to prove it, uh, a chance to get an auto invite to the invitational next year. And if we lost, I, I'm not in for 10 years. And, and we just got both raised. I played horrible. It was, it was a bad showing. We missed, I think we missed on five holes. We missed puts that were less than 10 feet all three of us. I think we missed nine in a row, uh, seven foot pots. Yeah. So it was, it was, it was bad. Uh, I was in a bad place last night. I've, I've woken up and just realized it's not that serious and, and life was on, but it was good. I was, I was, I was down bad. You're down bad. You're down really bad. I have a question for you, Hank. Yeah. What do you say to the haters that are saying that they were right? What, just you sucking a golf. I don't do better at golf. I see you play golf. You don't suck. Yeah. But on camera, I'm horrible that that's just like that's that's there's four or five years straight of evidence of that where it's like I play much worse than I can play or have played off camera. That's something I got to deal with. And I also think it's probably true that I should be better at golf or how much golf I play. I can't, I wish I could defend that fact. But we've gotten in for, you know, first few months, I'm like, I just started playing lefty, but like I've now played enough rounds, practiced enough, like I should be, I should have advanced more than I have. So it's like that, that's true. That's just something I gotta, I gotta. So the haters are right. You could say, yeah, I don't know. It's okay. Sometimes it's like, hey, guess what? Haters, you got it right. Yeah. But this is the doubters. It's not the end of the story. No. It's the motivation. Yeah. Start a championship. You have 10 years to get good enough to be an invitation. It's the end of one chapter. I still think that we should appeal Dave's, no invite to the invitation over 10 years. And as a lefty, you're banned, but as a righty, who's to say? Yeah, that's a different person. Right. But also the, the thing that I realized too, which is like I, I, based on how I played yesterday, like if I had played an invitation and did that, I would be 20, that would be much worse than losing, you know, the grudge match. Yeah. So, and that's what would have happened. Yeah. In the grudge match, it was very funny because going back and watching it, only two balls got pulled out of a cup for the entire game. And one was a, a long chip in by Whitney. I think Whit made another part or somebody made another part, maybe it was Dave, but only two times did the ball go into the hole. The parts that we missed, we should have made, at least two of them, got to make two out of those three. One that you guys all missed the exact same way. That was the, that was where it was like, because I kept on saying, watch it back. It's tricky. Tricky pin location. Tricky pin location. I, as much as there's a grudge match, people will be shocked to hear this. I, I didn't have any animosity towards the team we were playing. And I kept on saying when we get to the cart, like Dave kept on saying, hey, the, the match is over. The match is over. I was like, no, they're going to make a putt. They're going to make a putt and Dave just kept saying, no, they're not, they suck. And he turned out to be correct on that day. Letting down coach Groen too is probably the worst part. Like, there's no one that you want to perform for better, like kind of step up and in a big moment and, and show you can be someone and to just time and time again, not do that. And he's, you know, a lot older than us and we were like relying on him so much. That, that hurt the most. PFT. Yeah. I've let down before I let down again. Like coach Groen. Yeah. It does hurt and watching it's very mean that we've just had a replay of all the misputs cycling this entire time We talked about it. They're I thought it was one I one point. I thought it was like the same Different holes also 135 degrees. They're a couple very funny misputs where the ball it's going in and then it almost like Develops a mind it puts a juke move on the whole Yeah, shout to streams on though unbelievable Pony art unbelievable course unbelievable spot exactly County Florida. Yeah again. Sorry Zach Probably should have taken you no literally in your house my my buddy sort of hank a beer yesterday And he's a drink history and he said there's nothing behind those eyes. Oh, that was after yeah, that was before we that was before we got on the flight Yeah, I was I was I was I was down bad. Yeah, that's bad spot. It's okay. We move on we turn the page So back in the card of the plate he goes. I got I got to reevaluate every I was having a full blown identity crisis because I played bad golf Yeah, and then I kind of woke up today. I was like just Yeah, bad golf on camera. Yeah, so we built we all suck That's a thing. No, we need so we need so yeah. Hey Groot was good too. We just gave him nothing. Yeah, yeah One day though grudge match. It was can't wait for grudge match I don't know. I don't think Dave's gonna be involved. No, I think it's called grudge match because now afterwards we have a grudge Now we have to settle it. Yeah against the game of golf. Yeah Okay, we should invent some sort of scoring system where Hank you don't compete against anybody You just compete against whatever like to score should be yeah, you like you log it and try to get you try to beat that. Yeah grudge Yeah, you got to get back on that horse one thing about Hank You can't be thinking about getting bucked one bat one bad golf outing. It's not gonna stop him from golfing He's gonna get back on that horse Yeah, that's the only way you got the only way out is through only what I got to conquer my demons batman. Yeah Okay, I mean similar. It's basically Hank and I had a shared fire fest this week, which is getting getting beaten golf on camera It's not fun. No, but we yeah, we ran through that it's It was more of a mental game because you just start think you start doing the math and you say it's not over yet Well, it's not over yet. The rules also made it impossible for to ever end I think there was one point where we were you were up five of a six or up six with five to go and it wasn't over I think we were up I think we're up five with three to go and it wasn't yeah I was like what the fuck is happening We're up seven with four to go at one point and then up five with three to go I was like this we're just never getting out of this it quite literally could have been it would have been the biggest come back in the history of golf Yeah, because nobody else has ever been down seven with four to go Yeah, and then pull that off. So yeah was you know missed opportunity, but again, Hank. It's it's one round to go There's always more golf. Yeah always more always more golf. Yeah, but yeah, that's that's pretty much it the other fire fest was from last week where It was right after we recorded the show That I engaged in violence against a coworker and I'd like to apologize to say coworker for that We moved on as a friend we shook hands But every man has a line that you can't cross my line is it two eggs If you throw one egg at me, I'll turn the cheater and the communist is fine like we can talk shit Yeah, but if you so you are if you throw one egg at me, I will turn my cheek if you throw two eggs I've run out of cheeks to turn I also miss you know, I was uh, so so we're talking about campar stool PFT Body in Rico great great push I went to Saratoga right after and and Dave asked me who's like was that was that real anger? I said here's the thing The camera saw two eggs what the camera didn't see was Three nights of Rico snoring sleep talking farting not saying that like like we we disliked him But it will put it will push a man to it to their edge I said we're basically like POWs in the in that cabin with him By day three you're like you're seeing shit and you're you know, you don't know what's going Rico got fragged. Yeah, now it was It was more like the egg all over my legs and so the second egg I did there was anger behind it. Yes, but only in those like two seconds I kind of blacked out. I didn't even think about it as I was running up to him some people on online were like Cheap shot because Rico turned his back I think that you there's no such thing as a cheap shot if you throw two eggs at somebody and then you turn around coward move by Rico to turn around I would say that I would never say that but we're riders. I just I I blacked out and then I hit the guy and Then now we're friends shout out logs it was a pretty good hit. Yeah, if I don't if I do say so much The human body craves contact and I haven't hit a guy like that since I retired from rugby in 2015 It feels good. Yeah. Yeah All right, my fire press kind of related to the grudge match which uh, you know, listen It was fun going out there. We love draft Kings just like we get paid to go golf with our friends But the one downside of it was we were gone on Wednesday got back late Wednesday night and I missed The pugs winning a championship, which I'm really using this as a vehicle memes Shane congratulations What a night they not only want a championship But beat quack and balls on the way there and beat them with a walkoff Fuck yes boys I'm so I was getting those texts and I was just like fuck man I wish I had been there because it seemed like the best night three games Memes more say anything you're you barely walking today means doing a little extra limp in front of me to let me know like hey You know like I played three games all last night, which he deserves. Yeah, that's like the fastest I've ran In the championship game like in a while I left it all out in the field. I love it think about memes is he does memes moves quickly when he has to yeah Pugs finished. I think this is like mr. Miyagi 14 and three in the In the in the summer we had two two seasons 14 and three overall It really 14 and two we had a forfeit the semifinals in the spring because there was a million right out and it was during Vacation week. Yeah, yeah, that's right I think I Do have to start asking about about Max and Big Cat Yes, sir. I wasn't sure we ask Just like I don't you know look look at the look at the salaries look at everything going into next year And it's like is this why I'm a negative salary because I pay for the The league Yeah, so you're saying that like if a if a really good team if they want a championship And they had one player that was out and then other players stepped up in like one MVP. Yeah, then they should then get rid of the player That was out Fair i'm just asking you guys do you start up to start asking questions It kills me. I wasn't there if I'm not on the team next year if I'm not on team next year. I totally understand We're all champions though. No, I didn't I didn't play in any losses this year either true So I think I probably was like eat know or something, but yeah, that sucked That sucked it was I mean I played in part one of the summer I didn't play in part two But I was like damn like I it looked awesome. I wish I was there. Yeah, some three games super hot night Like the boys battling congrats to the pugs incredible incredible seas was a celebration like Oh, man Celebration was good. We just did one round because it was super late. Yeah, it was like 11 o'clock I heard you almost passed out in the bar memes. I did. I was wearing two shirts. It was a hundred degrees. She's just me She got us why are you wearing two shirts? It was a champ it the tennis and the championship shirt So I had that on over the puck shirt. That's cool. Maybe a banner I feel like you should just uh, I said this earlier like get us get a Just a picture of pug Yeah, and hang it in the in the rafters. Mm-hmm. Let's get some rings It was three super competitive games though one of the first game by one We had an hour break in between so we got that watch the cocking balls First game we thought we were gonna get smoked. They were all wearing cutoffs probably takes steroids Like they they demolished the team before one by 20 we end up walking them off One by one and then championship game we ended up running Oh, that's the best. It was like they wasn't even a it was a non-competitive championship game So you could like really enjoy it. No, it was super competitive. Oh wait until the fourth end. Oh, okay Their pitcher hit a grants lamb put it up three Like they were going nuts and then bottom of the inning We hit a grants lamb Then we started going nuts and then we rallied from there Fuck yes. Was there a uh celebration of the field dog pile? Yeah, we were just chaining ricks nice The strip club in Chicago. We were promised by our coach Quiggs that he would take us there. Yeah, if we won't I'll pay for and did he He did not He said he could just pay for around it Shane. How'd you play the whole the whole squad played played great the This is the probably the oldest I've ever felt is the oldest they've ever been yet. Well true, but like I don't the My body's no longer met for the the triple header and 95 degree heat. Mm-hmm. It was I'm really hurting I'm bolting up still it sounds like your lesson bolt that the the break in between games In that heat that's like your body shuts down. Yeah, and then you have to get loose again I guess it should be I as much as I was like I had such intense fomo and and was sad I wasn't there I should probably be a little happy because I think There's a 95% chance I would have got in in injury, right? As the oldest guy on the team by far, I would have I think my body would not have been able to handle that Probably there are a lot of injuries because like when we went to camp we played three games in a row And I was sore for a week that wasn't a break and also camp wasn't as Like competitive in the three games we played there are probably four hamstring injuries and two other ankle injuries So you may have dodgeable it. Yeah, there's nothing better than getting out there with the boys nothing like it's the injuries suck When you get older, but it's still worth it to get out there and have some fun with the guys war wounds Yeah, I do wish everyone was there though. I know I felt I felt bad. Yeah texting afterwards No, I loved it. I was living vicariously through you guys. It's Jack McCarty's fault Yeah, he decided to do the grudge match on a Wednesday knowing we have softball and like I think I think I got home After the first game and I was like I can't show up mid playoffs to like you guys playing that would be weird. So Good job congrats pugs Pugs, I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get a ring and I'll put it in my closet and never wear it So I don't want someone to see me wearing the ring and be like oh, how the championship game go. I'd be like, ah well Grudge match, you don't you don't understand. Yeah, I still think a banner is the way to go. Yeah It should be celebrate. We should look back on this agreed. Uh, Zach finish off My favorite is we can just what I can't see. I know he doesn't like that. My bad. He's about to walk out It's just a Zach you want to do a happy ending on the show. I got you My purpose of this week is just that I Mentally crumbled in this duel today and not only the duel really just as soon as we went one the one the one my rush more season You are so bad. It was there is disgusting. If you guys decide that you will have me for next season I'm gonna in this off season. I'm gonna have to just get to it. Yeah. Well, how would you get to it? Just top fours just rip and top fours. Yeah, the only top four just get the zone. Zach. I I don't want to say I don't want to throw out any maybe malfeasance that was going on with the polls But I do think the AWs wanted to see a tool and you might not have like retroactively the Monday and Wednesday You might not have your strongest effort either. I mean it was just. Oh, yeah It's gonna be one B1 mental midget yeah, and I my decisive making powers are not very strong I had better picks on the list some rounds and I just good I just over and over again picked a worse or worse is not a word a bad pick It's like you almost need like a you need a partner. Yeah tell me these things. I think next year we at least have like Decent idea of teams like if we wanted if we did teams right now that were fair It would probably be you and max Zach and Max probably PFT and memes and me and Hank and that would be fair So we we can at least start from a fair point. Mm-hmm. I'm worried. I still have bad picks in me I would think I may go home this weekend and just dump them all out just just brainstorm all the bad picks out Could you treat those please? I can so don't tweet what the rush board is just a picks just tweet all your bad picks I can do that with no context. I gotta get them out of just a full list of all your bad picks No context to what they go to and we'll guess actually you know what let's do this on To on Monday on Tuesday show. I actually think it'd be funny if like people sent you the Mount Rushmore's that they want you to do and you do Just custom Mount Rushmore's for people Publicly and show how bad your picks can be like wrap and fire one, but I want I want so by the way I think everyone knows we've been doing this schedule forever But to next week there's show Tuesday Wednesday Friday because we have Memorial Day We're gonna do a lot of college or labor day We're gonna do a lot of college football on Tuesday Wednesday. We'll get ready for NFL Friday regular NFL preview for week one Zack, so do what PFT said but also Before you have people because that will happen on Friday when people will hear this Before Friday. I want you to make a list of all your bad picks and then on Month when we tape on Monday night you'll read us the bad picks. We'll have to guess where they go to what Mount Rushmore They go to and these picks are on the future, so could be good picks. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm probably not so I'll just start out there You know, yeah, just make a list of like 30 picks and we'll decide what the Mount Rushmore is Okay, so for one do 30 like give us one bad pick right now Uh Yeah, elephant Titus Okay, Mount Rushmore of Things that you don't want to get. Yes, yeah pick though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah Kind of I think that's a disease. Does anyone even get that? Yeah, I mean you have to be in like a tough country But yeah, you don't want it Actually actually knowing how bad Zack is although it would have been it would have been the Mount Rushmore of Titus's So Mark would have gone one yeah, and then Zach would have gone elephant Titus. That's good One's global one's not Mark Titus. Yeah, he's pretty global. Yeah, I was talking mark nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Mount Rushmore of Titus's Durma you would have fucked that up One more there one more another Titus you know another pick oh another pick bad pick we'll go with uh Scream three Okay, Mount Rushmore of Jerry O'Connell movies. Yes, okay. That's really the only thing that movies Mount Rushmore of Trilogy's no one watched it Yes, okay. Oh wait, so they're Which which topic were you doing when you said scream three? I was I had Jerry on the brain But we can pivot to Trilogy's if it's a better paper Trilogy's That's good. I guess our patent stats already showing improvement willing to change Mount Rushmore of verbs and numbers Uh, what's on the Mount Rushmore of numbers zero through a hundred but you can only pick one of them Uh 10 and then seven 99 55 Okay, okay, which one's your pick I'm gonna go with 55. Okay, I'll go three five 99, uh, I go eight 15 I don't take Jerry O'Connell's and Scream three. Oh really? What's the end? I think he's in the first screen. He's a scream one That's why he burned the bad picks Scream six to nine Oh 23 So so it was my Mount Rushmore. It was verbs and numbers. So like the first pick would have been Jump 23 Then he would have gone with scream three Wait, what the Mount Rushmore would X-axis then yeah, he did that was the Mount Rushmore. He did Scream three, okay, yeah, see what I'm saying that would be the Mount Rushmore Okay, verbs can buy with numbers guys. You said scream three blank 182. Yeah, right. That would have been a good one. Yeah, yeah So 39. Did you want it? You want anyone shot to any wood and he was actually watching the grunt from matches today Yeah, probably very you'll probably never come on the show again after you saw how bad we got a little doubt We got to get him on the show. Yeah. We got 72 No one No one happy Labor day to all the moms out there and happy birthday to Montez sweat happy birthday to Mike Piazza Not gay per his press conference that he called Happy birthday to Beyonce and Anthony Weiner happy birthday to Bubba Liam big Bubba happy birthday buddy happy birthday to Mac Jones Hi birthday to Lance Stevenson and happy birthday to my good friend and I'll be celebrating with him on Saturday Jack Dan. Love you guys You You 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc.