Stavros Halkias, The Clippers Go To Jail, Mt Rushmore Duel, CFB Week 1 + Fyre Fest

Hey, part of my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Listen up here. My wife and I are always getting 10k steps a day and what do I need? Bombas. Summer's here and we're living for all the outdoors, from runs in the park to beach days, back yard barbecues, even my walks every single day. Bombas makes your comfy summer staples, so you can make the most out of all your summer plans. They've got a whole line of pro-level, sports-specific socks for golf, yoga, the gym, and socks for every kind of runner. What I love about Bombas is not only do they keep my legs feeling fresh after a long flight when I go to Italy, even on my honeymoon, they also look amazing and come in vibrant summer colors. Then there's the best base layers you'll ever own. Bombas underwear and t-shirts, breathable, flexible, really soft. 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We during Fire Fest, which I'm sure you're going to want to listen to Fire Fest, because we might be talking some recap from the Grudge match that happened on Wednesday. It's going to be a pretty contentious show, honestly, because we're grudging. We're still grudging. We put out the Mount Rushmore poll, so we'll recap Mount Rushmore season during Fire Fest as well, and it's all brought to you by our friends at Body Armor. This episode is brought to you by Body Armor Flash IV. Flash IV is packed with electrolytes delivering faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners, whether you're training traveling or just feeling the heat or cheering on your team, or I'm going off script. If you're traveling, we've been traveling a bunch. You wake up the next day, feel a little slow, feel a little dehydrated. Plains can dehydrate you. You get the Body Armor Flash IV. You feel good. So go get a Body Armor Flash IV today, like I said, packed with electrolytes delivering faster, longer lasting hydration without any artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners. That's Body Armor Flash IV. Work hard and hydrate hard with Body Armor Flash IV. Grab it at a 7-Eleven today. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by Draft Kings. The crown is yours today is Friday, September 4th, and the Los Angeles Clippers are dead. Death penalty. Death penalty. Death penalty plus. Yes. The zombie clippers. They have found that the responsibility for the quiet littered fake tree deal and numerous other fake advertising deals that were designed to circumvent the cap or direct responsibility of Steve Balmer as well as Lawrence Frank. Yep. The entire clippers are paying a severe punishment. They're taking away five first round picks. Yes. So 2029, 2030, 31, 32, 33, and then also a fine of 30 million dollars to Steve Balmer. Steve Balmer suspended for a year. Lawrence Frank is suspended for I think six months. Is that right? And then Quay has to pay $700,000 in restitution for improper benefits. And Uncle Dennis is now done. Yes. Sorry. Uncle Dennis, by the way, I mean, I guess his only job was to get quiet paid. Yeah. Consider it mission accomplished. Oh, I read some of those texts and email exchanges. Uncle Dennis, he was when he was just like, I will burn this whole thing to the ground. We should all want to have an Uncle Dennis in our lives. Yeah. The big winner of this though, public or a friend of the program, uh, he was right through and through. He started this entire thing. There were a lot of people who thought that he was wrong. He ended up being right all the way through. And it's crazy because, uh, the biggest loser is not Steve Balmer. And it's not, uh, Lawrence Frank and it's not Quay. I think the biggest loser is Clippers fans. They get screwed in this. Their owner and general manager do illegal things according to the NBA. And what is the punishment? Your team is now going to be in hell and suck for an extended period of time. That sucks for Clippers fans. Like that. It feels like the punishment should have been Steve Balmer. You have to sell the Clippers or something like that. Not, hey, Clippers fans, guess what? You have no future for the next five years. I think the punishment should have been that Steve Balmer has to go out there and actually plant 50 million trees. That would have been nice too. Maybe like for every million trees he plants, then he gets, I don't know, a million dollars off of his fine. What about Steve Balmer has to just get super high. Yeah, that's smoke a bunch of trees. I mean, can you imagine how much he'd sweat? Oh my god. If he just got like anxiety level high, a live cam of every single NBA, every single NBA game in the 2026, 27 season Steve Balmer has to be like gravity balling level high. And we have just a picture and a picture of Steve Balmer freaking out in the corner. That would be a fair punishment. And he maybe he has to watch Steve Balmer videos while he's super high. We're screaming developers. Developers, developers, developers, developers. That would probably trip you out even more if you were high. Now I do think, do you agree though with my take that there's losers of the Clippers fans? I think the Clippers fans are the biggest losers. I think Balmer also a pretty big loser in the end of this. Also ESPN kind of a big loser because they put out a report last week saying that the NBA had concluded its investigation and not found any wrongdoing. And so just expect everything to kind of be brushed on the rug. They did have multiple sources in that article. I think what happened, the NBA did a very good job with the investigation. And the NBA did not let the Clippers think that they were in any trouble until the final report came out after the fact. So they probably did, I don't know if you watch any interrogation videos in YouTube, big cat. Yeah. I watched a lot of them. They probably did the read technique on them, which is you tell them you minimize the crime they commit. And you're like, listen, every, every team, the league is doing the same thing. So we're actually not after you. We're after all the other teams. So if you say it was like what 30 million dollars from aspiration, that's small potatoes. We don't really care about that. Tell us what else you did. So we know what else to look for. Yeah. The Clippers were like, this is awesome. Sounds like we're not in trouble. And then Adam Silver leaves room. He's like, I nailed him. Yeah, I nailed those fuckers. I nailed them. So yeah, you're right on that. Like the ESPN is definitely a loser in this because their report was just flat out wrong. And that was also the period of time when everyone was dunking on Pablo and being like, Hey, you were wrong. This was nothing. Yeah, turns out it was a lot of things. I think it was a Clippers telling Pablo like, yeah, we're not any trouble. And then the actual NBA would not comment on it until after that article came out and they said we disagree with everything that was in his report. Yeah. The other losers in this, Steve Balmer is a loser in the fact that he went on national television with Ramona Shelburn a year ago and like denied everything to a level that was somewhat convincing like, Hey, you know what? Maybe he's the owner. He doesn't know exactly what's going on. He's not meddling. And then the evidence came out and was like, no, no, he knows exactly what's going on. Yeah. And he was meddling. And so he looks like an absolute idiot for that. So many say when Mark Cuban, look, we've had Mark Cuban on the show. I like Mark Cuban, but he went like score church to defend his billionaire brother brother brother. Yeah, the brother heard a billionaires. Yeah. He looks stupid. I have a, I have a winner for you that is not nothing to do with the NBA. You ready for it? To Sean Watson. Go on. Kauai Leonard is now the worst straighter or the worst acquisition of all time. We in sports. 10 first round picks. 10 first round. So this is what the Clippers, the Clippers used to get Kauai Leonard now given that he's been, he's cost them five future picks. The Clippers used the 2021 first round pick, the 2022 first round pick, 23 first round pick, 24 first round pick swap. Yeah, two 23 picks, by the way, 24 first round pick, 25 pick swap, 26 pick, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, those are all part of this punishment. SGA ever heard of them. And then $30 million fine and suspensions for everyone involved. All for Kauai Leonard to win zero rings, 47 games played, average 47 games played in his seven seasons with the, with the LA Clippers. Yeah. And I think what was the farthest they went? Did they go to a conference title in the bubble? They went to the Western conference phone in the bubble. So that is the worst player acquisition of all time given everything that you lay it out. Like you, you, you, I don't, what could be worse? It's a Jackie, a first round picks plus the two-time MVP plus your owner gets suspended for a year. Yeah. And Quad just gets to go back to the most protected like the place where he is the biggest, you know, has the most fans because he won a championship there. Yeah. Quad statement that he put out today was was all time. It was essentially like I fail. I personally failed because my family did some stuff that I was not aware of and I love my family. Thank you, Kauai Leonard. Yeah. Like 700,000 or that's what it was, right? 700,000 off. That's nothing to Kauai Leonard, considering how much he's got today. That's like half a tree. That's yeah, that'll be fine. I'd like to see him and Balmer actually team up and plant some of these fucking trees. It would be nice. You can't just you can't just that's to me as the worst part is how many years did they take off the the the future of the entire planet? Yeah. By not planning those trees shout out by the way Uncle Dennis all time fall guy because Kauai is going to get trade because now I don't know if the trade is actually like completed because they're waiting for this. But now the Clippers, there's no reason for them not to do this trade because they could get first round picks from the Raptors. Yes. Yeah. I also saw someone throughout there. I don't think so Adam Silver, this is he's it's funny that he's flexes muscles a couple times and and two of the most notable times have just been the Clippers expense because it was Donald Sterling having to sell someone online throughout the idea. I can't find I'm going to try to find it. I think I might have the same one. Is it related to the cup? Yeah, the yeah Henry the Blasian. Henry the Blasian said that if the NBA was smart, they would put these five picks up for the winner of the NBA Cup, which would be fantastic. And you'd also add in the element of the Clippers potentially being able to win back their own pit. Yep. That why not why not NBA do it. Yeah, this is it is a real death penalty for the Clippers and it's not just because they're taking away their first round picks, which might be you know maybe top 10, maybe outside the top 10, not sure things. Yeah. But it's also that they don't have any picks to trade with. Yeah. So it's going to be almost impossible for them to acquire players via trade. No, they're in hell. It's it's it's going to be impossible to convince players to go there as a free agent. It is yeah, just as bad as death. And in fact, I was saying it might this might be too harsh of a penalty just because how else are the Clippers going to be able to get good players besides circumventing the cap even harder. Yeah, this might actually just convince them they have to be even more bad. We got to keep doing this except we just got to not get caught. They might be pushing another sneaky winner. I mean, this might be dumb. The way I mean, you said to Sean Watson, that kind of convinced me he's a winner in this. Yeah, because when you think of like worst player acquisition to Sean was the name and now it's going to be quiet. Maybe just maybe the major league baseball players association because maybe Rob Manford is watching this and he's like, wait, so if I put a salary cap in, that means I'm going to have to investigate teams and do a lot of legwork and legal, you know, interviews of people to make sure that teams aren't certain. I'm going to have to enforce this rule or the opposite he could do. You could be like, hey, players, we're going to put a salary cap in, but also just get an uncle Dennis and ask about a career, a tree deal. Yeah, you know, I mean like, hey, we're having a salary cap wing, wing. Yeah, I won't we won't don't ask, don't tell. Right. Like steroids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll look the other way. You guys get your cap owners. And if you want to hook a guy up with a fake car dealership, that's between you and the Lord. I was listening. Wendy was talking about it on, I believe it was on. Oh, it was SVP. And he did mention that so this is not unprecedented. This happened with the timber rolls and I believe it was Joe Smith. And they got a bunch of picks taken away. They actually ended up going to the conference finals like a year after, but that they already had Kevin Garnett, which that's not apples to apples. But Wendy basically said that if the clippers, the, the precedent that the timber rolls set, they got a shitload of picks taken away, then they started cooperating and the NBA started showing leniency and gave him a couple of picks back. The clippers still have that possibility. Now, will they do that? Because Steve Balmer released the statement and the clippers release statement being like, we completely disagree with all of this. And essentially like this is false and we're going to fight it. If they start to play ball, they might get some of their picks back, which you got to, like, if you're the clippers, you got to do that. Play ball. Yeah, I guess you get two of your picks back. But the thing is, if you're, if you're Balmer, you can outspend Adam Silver. You've got unlimited money. Yeah. So if you want to play the lawyer game, he's one guy if he wants to go through with that, he can probably make life a living hell for Adam Silver. Yeah. In hopes that he can kind of, you know, force his way back into a lesser penalty. So, so I'm looking at it right now. When Joe, the Joe Smith thing happened because it was like a deal where he signed a bunch of one year deals. They guaranteed that he would get like a big deal at the end so they could keep his bird rights. They took away the 0 1 0 2 0 3 0 4 and 0 5 first round picks. The timber rolls played ball. They gave them the NBA gave him back the 0 3 and 0 5. So it ended up being a three pick punishment, not a 5. That's what the, if you're a clippers van, like plead with Steve Balmer to actually do something here to maybe get some of these picks back. Yeah. I mean, if Balmer was smart, he would just ask, he's an L.A. So he should just ask his daughter's boyfriend to pay Kauai all this money behind the scenes. That way, everything's nice and legal. Yes. That would have been a smarter move on his part. Yeah. The statement from Kauai is, is pretty funny. We've got a new, I think, lead leager in the, in the realm of Rick Patinos. I apologize for trusting the wrong people. Yep. I accept full responsibility for lapses and judgment by people within my inner circle. Love that. That's such a good apology. So good. I love it. Kauai. It's, it's my fault for letting other people speak on my, my behalf. Yeah. My bad. Yeah. No, his statement was basically, did I do that? Yeah. Whoops. Sorry bad. My bad. Yeah. Uncle Dennis, you know Uncle Dennis. Everyone's got a crazy uncle. That's what he should have said. Yeah. Hey, listen, I apologize, but also, isn't it the most relatable thing ever to have kind of a crazy uncle? Thanks again. It's going to be real awkward this year. Yeah. What does that? I mean, Uncle Dennis has to, he has to have a nice like envelope waiting for him, right? He's in the uncle made it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But like he's, he's banned from talking to teams and stuff. He is in the Uncle Hall of Fame. If Kauai, Kauai, does Kauai need now to win another title with the Raptors to save his legacy? Is Kauai have a legacy? Is it this? Yeah. I mean, it's, it's winning a, he, what two-time finals MVP? Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't think Kauai cares. I think he's like, I've done everything. I've accomplished everything. Kauai might be one of those guys. When players say that they like don't like read anything here, anything, I think I believe when, if Kauai said that. Yeah. Like he doesn't even know what the internet is. You might not know that this is even that big of a deal. I would imagine Kauai just sits at his house and like steers at a wall and then they're like, all right, Kauai, time to go to practice. Right. He's like, all right. He just plugs in. That's how they screen saver pops on. Now, do you think that this is, it could have all been avoided if Kauai had just showed up for a few photoshoots? Oh, they just planted a couple trees. Yeah. Like if he planted three trees and let a professional photographer take a picture of him. Yeah. Help maybe even takes like a three-day trip to Brazil at some point. Plants three trees gets on a plane, flies back. I think the clippers still get old. You get a little bit of a, yeah, a little, a little saving grace. It also, like I said, that Balmer interview he did a year ago. I think the worst part about that for him is going on ESPN and talking to Ramona Shelburn and saying, I got scammed too. I got scammed by these guys. What do you want me to do, which we now know is just not sure. Balmer's a victim in this. Maybe the biggest victim. Please save one of your tears for the billionaires. We need you to. On behalf of the LA clippers, we vehemently reject the NBA's findings, which are the result of a heavily biased investigation seeking to justify a predetermined narrative rather than the facts and evidence. How come they only investigated all the bad stuff we did? How come they didn't investigate all the real contracts that we've signed? Yeah. We intend to vigorously challenge these findings and penalties through every avenue available to us and look forward to an ethical and impartial arbitration process. Is that just Steve Balmer sitting in his office being like review it? Yeah. Yeah. Just over and over. Go to the tape. Zach, would you just say that it's got the boys cracking up? Gotta hit that mic, Zach. Oh, we're just trying to parse those on their shoes. These are kind of good problems to have. Memes, what do you actually say? What do you mean? Who? You only get five seven hundred thousand? Yeah. That's not bad. That's just like a fine. That's a little something. They're in a great spot. Memes, gotta say, you're about to cry back there. Memes. Help us out, Memes. I'll tell you after. What? No, you gotta tell us now. So I'm a little sore from softball last night. I was like, I think I need to massage. Zach was like, don't go to the place down there. Terrible massage. That's all it was. What happened? It just about is a dog shim massage. My back still hurts. Oh, okay. Did they, did they check you out? She was like, you want to do that? I was like, no. I went in for a legitimate massage. And she just like, like, she like played around for a little bit. I was like, all right, jerk time. And I was like, no, I need to relieve, like muscle relief here. My L one L two vertebrae are in pain. It's all the guy ever to go into a rub and talk and be like, no, I actually just wanted the Swedish The photos look like. like he was an up and up spot to get there and it was straight to jerk as a come on man. Exactly where you were. Where did you look hot? Is it your fault for looking hot that she wanted to jack you off with those highs? No, I would just wearing, you know, standard gear. Nothing too crazy. I'm wondering if she saw like parcel sports stuff on. All in is I walked in with pain. Like, oh, you're from that office. I know. Yeah. Walked in with pain, laugh with pain, boys. Oh, no, no, Zach. All right. So, yeah, so the clippers are screwed. Yeah. It's perfect ending to that, Zach. Yeah. Clippers are hoes. Now I do think that this kind of stuff happens in every sport. Yeah. I think well, there's a lot of caps. I if you're an NBA, if you're an NBA team and you do any of this, you got to stop right now because it's pretty clear that they're gonna like that's the one thing that the clippers, they've been. I'm sure Pablo's getting hit up by a lot of people. And then the clippers are gonna hit up. Yeah, like I bet you there's an actor clippers are trying to hit up Pablo being like, what about these guys? Yeah, burn it all to the ground. Yeah, if you take away, the clippers are basically at the point now where they're hoping that every team gets their next five years first round picks taken away, then there's no draft. So their next first round pick is in what? It's like, it's it's not just five years from now. It's no, like their next starts in 2029. So it's 20, 20, 20, 20, 34. Yeah, Hank still won't be in the invitational. 2034 is their next first round pick. And that person right now is 11 years old. Yeah, that would be drafted. They got they have to nail that pick though. They got a nail. They got to nail it now. Yeah, start it skips. Start scouting every middle school. Get it going now. Yeah. Okay. Now, do you think that it happens maybe in that same city in the NBA? What do you mean? Like something to the bikers? Yeah, well, maybe that team or maybe another team that's in Los Angeles. I don't know. But like if there's a player, a star player that you want to get and you have a massive mega blockbuster movie. That's trying to be produced in that town. Intense player as the star with a lot of money moving in and out of the studios. That's interesting. Do you think that that would be worth looking into? That's interesting. Yes. It wouldn't it wouldn't be hard to take away the the bubble championship. It's half a ring. Well, I think you probably have to punish wherever that player is playing right now. Yeah, I would say we'd probably need more punishment. That'll be good. All right. Let's talk some other sports stories before we do that. Draft Kings. The weight is over. Football's here. And so is Draft Kings. The Draft Kings sports app is now live in all 50 states. That means from Texas to California to Florida. Every fan is in on the excitement. And this September Draft Kings is giving customers the opportunity to get boosted every football game day. That's right. Every game day, all month long, Draft Kings customers can get a football profit boost. One app, every sport, all 50 states, new Draft Kings customers sign up with code take spend just five bucks and get 200 in total rewards with within 21 days includes all markets. That's code take in partnership with Draft Kings. The crown is yours gambling problem called 1 800 gambler 1 800 Meyer reset Connecticut call 888 8 7 8 9 7 7 7 7 7 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of Blue Hill Casino and Kansas. Bettax pass through may apply in Illinois 21 on over voiding Canada bet with Draft King sports book to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with Draft King's predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York non withdrawal rewards issued as $50 click to claims every seven days for 21 days. One single use boost per customer per day expires at the end of the final select game win offered valid for select football transactions on the platform for which it's been issued terms at dkng.co/offer limited time offer nationwide based on sports book predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability theories by state limited time offer. Okay next stories are two for we got some drivers license taken away. Tony Ramos six months Tiger Woods five years. Don't touch my drivers. Oh yeah and the good good CO got canned so but Tiger Woods I mean that's the only place he feels normal. Yeah so he's basically in jail. Really again much like Steve Palmer Tiger Woods is the real victim of this. Yeah that he's not going to have any place that he can go and feel like a regular human being anymore so I guess thoughts and prayers to him good good for the rest of the world every literally everyone else that's on the road. Yeah also if you're Tiger or Tony like I guess the fact that it happened on the same days that they're both going to maybe be competing for future Uber commercial which would go crazy. If it was like Uber pool and Tony Ramos picking up Tiger Woods. Oh you're saying that they can drive. No they can get you. No no no I'm Tony Ramos. Uber pool and I'm driving for lift. No Uber pool no he's in he's in the backseat and there's like Tigers like oh shit I hope I don't get paired with a random weirdo. Yeah can't don't have a driver's license opens the door boom Tony Ramos. I don't know Tiger. Yeah Uber pool you never know you never know um but yeah that was uh I feel like we're it's Tiger Down. These things happen in threes. Yeah who else is getting their license taken away. Hmm anyone will be looking around anyone is someone there's got to be a baseball manager that's that's working on a couple de lives. We haven't heard from Tony Ramos in a while. That's true. Yeah he's he's out there somewhere. Do you guys have anything to do you care at all about the Brown's assistant GM wearing a sweatshirt that said Los Angeles made me do it in her press conference which seems pretty it seems very Brown's. Yeah I don't think that there's anything really deep to make of it but besides the fact that this was a really dumb thing to do and why it's like it shows bad judgment I think but but ultimately do I think it impacts the job that she's probably not but um it's the Brown's like the Brown's can make a story out of a sweatshirt. It's impossible you'd say no way could a could a sweatshirt be a headline but the Browns can do it and Browns did it they can find a way actually they've done it multiple times remember John Dorsey. Yeah sure. There's lots of stories on the sweatshirt he his sweatshirt was nice. This sweatshirt looks like it's been hanging up in a moth closet for the last six years. It looks like Bill Bellachek sweatshirt. Yeah yeah um while you're you have the computer up can we just click on today's news the top story just to see right there um okay Sidney Sweeney stuns in Venice fashion. Oh I'm a bit of a uh we're fashion Easter. Yeah this is our fashion portion of the podcast. You zoom in on on the uh strap where the straps connect to the main dress there that area. Okay Sidney Sweeney Sidney Sweeney leads league in in most times pulled up on this computer. I would say so. Mitchell yeah not even close. That's a really good dress. That's a really nice dress you could tell the the design the tailoring. Yep. The design. Did you tailor a dress? There's that a suit. Uh you can tailor it. Yeah you can tailor it. Yeah we're fashion show. First and foremost. That is just a really it's a really good dress. It's a good dress. I like the cut. Yeah. It's good dress. One of the best better cuts. I like the material too. I'd say that's the second best dress I've seen her wear. What uh what game are you guys most excited for this weekend? Do you have one? I mean LSU Clemson. I think that's the tigers the death valleys. I think that the the shit talking behind the scenes that's going on in front of the scenes that's gone on this week where we've had like Davos Sweeney turning into vintage Steve Spurrier. Talking shit about Lane Kiffin directly during press conferences. What was his quote? He said they need to uh no pun intended stay in their lane. Yeah. Which means it's a good shit talk. If you pre no pun intended then it is intended. Yep. So yeah Davos been going after him. LSU has been like tied up in court this week. Uh so yeah. That's it. I mean it's been a crazy crazy couple days trying to figure out who's going to be able to play even this weekend. But I'm excited for Louisville uh Ole Miss. I think everyone should tune in to Louisville Ole Miss on Sunday night. That's the game we should all watch. Okay. Yeah. I mean the only ranked matchup. Yeah. Oh we got a football. It's had a NFL stadium too right? Yep. So that's that's awesome. If you want to watch uh two teams college football teams playing an NFL stadium on Sunday night it's Louisville Ole Miss. Top 10 team. That's the one. I would you disagree? Playoff team. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then in the apple cup and one projected playoff team. Per one of our college football experts. Yes. Yes. That's the that's the one. I'm just so excited. I'm going to watch. It's not a great week one. We talked about it on Wednesday but I don't care. It's just going to have where there's going to be football on our TV all day Saturday. It's going to be awesome memes. You got to be you're ready to go. You're not are you going outside on Saturday? No. I'm well as soon as I leave here till Monday. I'll I'll be on my couch. You're inside. I'm just inside. It'll be pretty good. I just got a new 70s TV. Oh barely fits on my TV stand. But I am fired up. And if you're not watching football you're going to be playing college football video games. Yeah. That'll be on another TV. Got it. We'd be doing both the same time. Probably. I love that. What a what a memes is really living the like best life. He really is. Yeah. You are like the idea that you can just be like all right. See you guys see you see you Monday. Not going to leave my house going to watch all the football. Yeah. No. It's it's the best. I've thought about it. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone anymore anymore. No. It's so good. I just make memes. What about scooter broad? Yeah. I bet him. You're a world champion too. And we're a world champion. You're a world champion. And a softball champion. And then you do your time best selling author. Yeah. Got a lot going for me. Yeah. Summer memes. Mm-hmm. Summer memes. All right. Any other stories Before we do our Mount Rushmore tool, Tejjan loves you. I love the only follow-up I had was now I understand why he was wearing the cap the whole time. Oh yeah, it looks like Mars attacks. He's got a big forehead. Yeah. There was, there's some other stuff coming out the brands are now onto the case. And I, I think these are all real things. I don't think that they're viral advertisements, but cameo said that Dejan love hit them up to see if maybe they'd want him. I think that one might be funny if he did hit him. And then I saw that there was a DM between him and David, David Busters, asking if he could have an entire David Busters location because he as an NFL player was coming in with a couple of his friends. Love that. With the understanding that that's what NFL players do. So hey, I play football professionally, so I'm going to need your entire restaurant. It was close at all. Oh, we just pulled up CJ Stroud will not be signing extension with the Texans before the season begins Houston offered Stroud a contract exceeding 50 million annually, but he's betting on himself to hopefully reach near 60 million. I feel like that's not enough of a difference to bet on yourself. That's quite a bet that he's making. That's a like 50 and 60 would you bet if I gave you a $50 million big cat, would you be willing to put it on the line and say, I'm going to bet that CJ Stroud gets a bigger contract than he's already been offered at the end of the season? No, I don't think I'd be willing to make that bet. I wouldn't make that bet. Good for him for getting offered. That's money. That's cool. Yeah. Did you see CJ Stroud? The Florio had a report. This is why I love Florio. This is why it's the best report that Kyler Murray has been arriving at Viking's facility on time every day. But then he further went on to explain that he's been arriving exactly on time, not a moment sooner. He's been the first one to leave. Yeah. So he's been just clocking and clocking out. Not even 15 minutes. That's progress. If I'm, yeah. Kyler Murray, I guess they'd like him to stay like be the first in and last out. Yeah. But I mean, I feel like every team has three different guys that are first in and last out. Yeah. At the same time. Kyler knows exactly who he is. The 2012 Patriots where they had Tom Brady, Amandola, Welker, and Julian Edelman and Danny Woodhead. No one left. They were pulled because they could all be first in and last out together. Speaking of that, did you see the Kings Day Kings for Ernie Adams? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that was from Ryan Paganetti, who's awesome. His Twitter account. Everett should go follow it. We got to have Mon. But yeah, he did a deep dive. Why don't you explain it, Hank, because it is, it is quite something. It's like from 2002 to 2019, the Patriots when opposing teams were kicking a field goal, like looking at the video board. They would put up a feed of the game mirrored, basically, so reversed. So if the flags, if you're the kicker and you're looking at the flags on the top of the field goal post, they were going right directly behind that was a video of the same flags going left. And also the same, so you'd see four uprights. Yeah. Now, this is actually exactly what I tried to tell Brandon that Oklahoma, was it, or Nebraska Illinois, what they should do, and then Brandon interrupted me very rudely and said, while the hill we talking about jumbo trunks, yeah, he only did say the only jumbo off care about jumbo shrimp deep froth, very well, I got like this great idea. Maybe he could have heard it first apart by taking a brand and shut his fat mouth. And it's not. So this was not illegal. This was just doing everything they can. Like I think I think someone crunched the stats and it was like a 5% change in kicking the accuracy, which yeah, so what if you get a 5% change that could swing a game. Good boost. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. Would you feel pride when you saw that? Yeah. That's bell check. That is bad. What you love to say, those are the good old days. That's bell check. It is absolute bad. So they'll be back. Yeah. Yeah. Aren't you in the good old days? The bell check. Ernie Adams were. But now it's new. Good new days. We're in the good new days. Good new days. Good new days. Yes. All right. All right. Let's get to the Mount Rushmore duel. Should we do it? Yeah. All right. Let's do it. Okay. It is time for our Mount Rushmore duel. It's brought to you by Reese's. There's something for everyone when it comes to Reese's. We love Reese's. They got the Reese's peanut butter cups, the ones with the Oreos, incredible peanut butter and jelly marshmallow, Reese's sticks, Reese's animal crackers, just everything. You're looking for Reese's is the one one pick in all Mount Rushmore drafts. It is the goat candy. We love Reese's something for everyone. It is the New York Knicks of candies. That's what Reese's does. Reese's the official candy partner bar stool sports go get Reese's wherever you shop. We love Reese's. And so we should have just done she just done a Reese's draft because you could literally do it. And it would be. Reese's draft ever. You could pick everything. They have every type of candy. All right. Zach's talking a lot in there. I think he's nervous. We are ready for the duel. It is Mount Rushmore dual time. It is Zach versus Hank, Hank versus Zach. Loser gets skunked by a real skunk. Is one of the punishments we had discussed. We've discussed a lot. We have discussed that. Yeah. It was that. We've discussed becoming days on love for a different team, maybe making a hip hop country album. Yeah. There's a lot on the table. But we're going to do so. How the jewels going to work. They do not know what the Mount Rushmore topics are. It's all off the top of the head. How much time are we going to give you guys? How much time do you think you need 30 60 seconds? I would like memes as Mike on. Okay. Memes as Mike on. Okay. Why? Just in case. Are you think there might be some shenanigans? No. There. That's totally fair. I actually agree with that. 100%. 60 seconds each. Is that not enough? 90 seconds. Yeah. I think 90 seconds? To two minutes might be good. All right. Well, we tried to pick topics that you can think about stuff off the top of your head. And so there's going to be three polls. We'll put them out. What? Consequently, every half hour or something and it's just best of three. I think that's what we did last year, right, memes? We're doing some of the show in the morning by the time we record the rest of the show in the afternoon. It should be done. What? The polls should be out. Do we do the poll? We do the polls real time. Yeah, we do the polls in real time. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that what we're doing? Yeah. That's what we did. Okay. I kind of liked that. Yeah. Okay. So we'll find out. So when you get to fire fest, you'll find out. Yeah. I didn't, I don't remember us doing that. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like instant. Yeah. Okay. Instant polls. So I'll just do it one every half hour. Yeah. Okay. All right. You guys ready for your first Mount Rushmore? Yes, sir. All right. Who's going first? I think Zach. Zach is going first. I went first. Okay. We would like to hear. You have 90 seconds. We would like to hear the Mount Rushmore of guys' names. My mic is on. My mic is on. 90 seconds to discuss between us, guys. Guys' names. Mount Rushmore. It's going to be really hard not to just verbalize my names that I'm thinking about right now. Let's start. We wanted to ease them into something that like these guys know guys. Yeah. Right. They know guys' names. There's one thing they know it's dude's names. It's also a very subjective open-ended Mount Rushmore that can be very funny because it's like who's to say. A lot of names out there. A lot of names to go through. Just think of any names. Hank is, Hank is doodle. He's got a heart next to a couple of them. How many names have, oh he's, he's writing Hank and then other guys' last names on his paper. Okay. Zach, how is Zach doing? By the way, what are we going to do for our so smart move by Hank? Hank has taken the headphones off the mic is still on. Yeah. But we are monitoring. All right. Well, memes, PFT and I, but we should discuss real quick what we let the timer go down. What is the second one we want to do is the one that we were thinking of? I think it's WLTWO. Yeah. And then the third should it be the one we were talking about or should it be the one that I just, I think it's the one that we were talking about. Okay. I want to hear. Yeah. Okay. All right. Perfect. We got it. They go with it. Okay. Agreed. A couple more seconds. We should use, we should use Zach's alarm clock as the timer. You got 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds, 10 seconds. Okay. Just starting writing. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Time. I mean, I guess there's, there's, you can, you can keep writing. It's just, you have to make a pick when your pick's up. Yep. Exactly. Okay. Mount Rushmore of Guy's names. Zach, you're up first. We talked first and last. No. What? It's Guy's name. It's Guy's name. All right. Yeah. All right. Devon Tay. Okay. Okay. All right. Good pick. Okay. Okay. Okay. Tank. I'm going to go with Guy. Oh. Okay. Okay. And. Jalen. Oh. Good pick. All right. These are good picks. I'm going to go with Muhammad. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Probably the most popular name I think. So many guys name. I think it's the most popular name I think. Okay. So many guys name. Okay. Maybe the number one you're going with more guys named that way not just Okay Are you going for for the amount of people on that specific pick? I like the volume pick Okay, I think Hank was doing that maybe with Jalen. Yeah, Jalen's not a bad pick All right, you have another one Zach, oh next pick I'm gonna go with Drew It's so silly. No, it's a good pick. I got through not not Andrew just just true. Yeah, just drew. Yeah Was your Andrew if he's in trouble wise mom or something, but you know, Drew. It was your thought process behind drew Cool name, yeah, all right pick could be I This is tickling me a lot. Okay, Hank Hank also like looks so deathly serious. It's like you just got to say a guy's worried. Yeah, I just don't know how to yeah So you have so far Jalen and Guy, yeah, we're going to William. Okay William you want it written as William Will you will yeah, okay? I like that. I actually like that change a lot I think that was a very smart change for the graphic and tiger bill. Oh tiger. Okay, not kind of a nickname Yeah Good pick It's too late. Yeah, it's off the piece. Okay. I like will will's great value. Will's great. Yeah, actually usually wills that I know are undrafted I'm going to a Richard Richard Strong yeah, I Will you guys have on that list? I thought we were going to maybe get some more traditional like a Eric Zach Max Caleb Drake I wanted to Drake, but that's why I didn't want to give myself away, but I think tiger probably did anyway Dan Dave John Jack Mark Jack is Jack is a big miss in my mind. Jack is a strong guy's name I didn't realize that Jack is a nickname for John. Yeah, yeah, yeah, little Wayne Ross Scotty tiger Marcus Marcus, okay, I heard names of everyone in this room except Shane and Connor Can we get clarification on a couple spellings? Yeah, sure. How do you know is WILL? How do you want to vaute spell? There's a few different ways to go about what you got right there. Okay, and how would you like Jaylin? J-A-L-E-N. That's smart. No smart Yeah, I thought there would be more like Frank Frank's good one Tom Zach meme said that you you waited until like the last five seconds start writing down names What was the thought process there? There was a conflict. You know my head if it was just first name We're doing first and last like for my first one one. I did have Tom Cruise, but yeah, Tom Cruise is a guy I've got a name. Yeah, Tom is a good one. Tom Cruise is a solid name. Yeah, I agree with that Tofer Joe Joseph Joseph's good. Yeah, sure, so biblical biblical names. Always there's a strong Elijah. Maybe not now That would have I don't know if Elijah were to play Drew is very funny. I don't know why It's true is equal. I don't know if that would play. Hey, hey, hey, who's a biblical Jesus about Jesus. Jesus. We're a bit of a banger. Yeah Jesus him big my mic's on by the way, and Zach's talking yeah loud. Okay, it's good Talk into the mic. Are you guys feel good about that? Because we're about to go to the second one. I think either one of them feels good No, if I'm reading their body language both or no, or terrifying. No. All right. PFT. You want to say what the second mile rush war is? Yeah, absolutely the second mile rush more is going to be the worst lines to wait in the worst lines to wait in I am going to set the timer Gonna give you guys a minute and a half worst lines to wait in Okay, boys. The timer is up. Are we ready? Yeah, this is the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in. There's a lot of them A lot of them can't think of many good ones. No, and so Hank you go first, right? Yep DMV great pick. That's got to be one one gotta be gotta be because it goes out of order to yeah, yeah, it's bullshit It is a very soft great pick. Zach you go with the restroom Rest room, okay, it's kind of chalk one too. Yeah, that's really good I mean when you have to piss and you have to wait in line. That is the most infuriating feeling in the world Another great pick. Yeah, I'm next. I'm gonna go with Chipotle line Okay, okay, why? Because I just been 30 deep in the Chipotle line every time Okay, and it's just you want to eat and you can't eat and it's right in front of you and you can't get there You want to get to the registrar as quickly as possible and you're just doing small talk with people you don't know See all the food right in front of you. Yeah, and there's the it's the worst when like someone three ahead of you Is ordering for like five people. Oh, yeah, they got a birthday party or like after school Oh, yeah, but do a burrito then I'm gonna do a burrito ball and would you tacos? Yeah, memes. What's that face of so? At first, I was like they're normally pretty quick and then what big catcher said We'll drive you to keep put tortillas in the machine. Yeah, that will drive you know You guys ever get caught like awkwardly right at the door too. So you're the guy like you're in line But you're in the way the front door and you're just oh you kind of have to maybe hold the door open Maybe not yeah, that's brutal. All right Hank. I'm gonna go airport security. Yeah I thought I was gonna go second and hopefully though and and bar Yeah, to get in or line to get to the bar line to get in strong I'm gonna say right now Zach needs a hail marriage Because that was Hank nice. You're crushing this one. Thank you. Good pick Hank. I'm but but Chipotle Chipotle. That's a little annoying. I'm gonna go amusement park. Yeah, you can pick good pick. Yeah Yeah, I go fast pass and then I'm gonna go You gas station during a hurricane Yep, though nothing worse All right, should we go to the next Mount Rushmore you want to do your last pick? You don't even have to uh sure We'll go a concession stand. Okay, that's good. I mean Zach tell me about your experience Wait in line to get gas during a hurricane. It just it just 50 cars backed up and you're thinking are they gonna run out of gas? Do they got gas you know they're jacking up the prices you're sitting in the car impending doom storm maybe death coming but you're like we got to get gas for the house gas for the car Yeah, natural disasters terrifying. So you're scared in line. Mm-hmm. You don't know if you're gonna make it home Then you're home. Yeah, okay, good. Okay Good feel like maybe It's good movie concession stand. I guess you did concession say was that everything I was thinking like a sports sports But I was I was thinking about line to get a drink at the bar. Mm-hmm. That's a bad line too. Yeah Although that one you go sideways. Yeah, you kind of like you feel like you have more control over that you can you can Yeah, you can you can you can cut but just by having good eye contact and good like motion Awareness line to get into the plane That one kind of sucks too like border bad line Yeah, but it's like you're everyone's you're taking off at the same time. Yeah, yeah Okay, good uh Mount Rushmore Hank. Thank you To act Chipotle that we need that we needed some people stuck in a Chipotle line to Mr the polls will go out during lunch so you need everyone who's literally looking at it while in a Chipotle line There's ups and downs of a duel, you know, yeah, I wouldn't say like the line to vote in general sucks Yeah customer service lines Hundred mm-hmm then just never goes down autograph line. You feel like a loser. Yeah Uh autograph or picture line at a porn conventions got it's a sock. Yeah, uh hospital Yeah, that one sucks last guy and like a lily Phillips gang bang Yeah, but I you're probably make it small talk with the guys around you at that point. Yeah, it's top though. You're like hey, you horny too same Common yeah, all right last one Is that one one? How do you think it's going? I yeah, you can go anyway. Hank's Tiger was that great draft by Hank Tiger was a bad pick Okay, here is the last one the last one is the Mount Rushmore Tiger Simon name of dumb things you think You guys got it The promise Hank's Hank still think about Tiger. Yeah, Tiger's not even a name. It's what he said The Tiger's inside his head right now. That got Muhammad in the second round I think all time number one name Okay, they're thinking about a dumb things you think But that got Chipotle, so yeah Chipotle is so fucking cast station during I imagine gas station during hurricane would actually suck. It sucks You've done it. Yeah, Hurricane Sandy dang tough Might be a little limiting. Oh, this whole time. I was thinking like actual like in the convenience store portion of the gas station I wasn't realized. I know. No, no lines down the road. It really is brutal. Yeah But now one that that's that's it You got to live in a certain part of the country to Yes, yes, but important for Florida Florida comes out for if you get out to vote in Florida Zach. You could be in Could be cooking. Yep. Is the number one state for determining elections. Hmm I can't wait to hear what they say about this Okay, Zach is for strong right now He's for sure wrong. All right. Can't see Hank's list, but he is writing. You got this boys. Mm-hmm. Give him an extra 30 seconds. Yeah, give him an extra 30 seconds. I haven't even said a time or so. Zach's brain is humming, though. Oh, confirmed humming, humming. I see it. Confirmed humming. He's writing. Is he writing, though? I mean, this should be a way up, for Zach. You can't wait to write. He's got dumb thoughts all the time, right? Although I can't get over the the the the sock of the baseball pad is cheap. Smart move. So fucking smart, Zach. Really so smart. Is that kind of does have a cheat code in this, but well, no, no, Hank has some dumb thoughts, too. Yeah. Yeah. Don't get it twisted. That's why we thought this was the perfect one. Number Hank sometimes just thinks about Joe Rogan interviewing him about how his day went. Yeah. There's there's dumb thoughts going around in this room right now. Yeah. All right. That was time. Do you guys need a little more time? You got it? You feel good? You first, Hank, or me first? Uh, me first. Okay. All right. Okay. Hank, you're up. This is the Mount Rush more. No, no, it's Zach first. Yep. You literally just went first. Yeah. First thought popped in my head. I'm going to go with are those real. Okay. Okay. Good pick. Okay. I'm not I'm not any good at telling. I'm so really bad. So bad. I think. Yeah. Yeah. I just I just I just assumed they're all real. Yeah. Because they're just all boobs. And I'm yeah. I would never think anything nefarious. That's where I feel dumb. Sneaky about boobs. Like oh, yeah. Those are boobs. So it's real. Uh, I will go with I'm going to win all my bets. Yeah. Really dumb thought. And I'm going to get in shape. Wait. Okay. When I think that it's not dumb, but yeah. Good pick. No, that's a really dumb thought that I think all the time. Like every I'm actually a daily thoughts. I'm actually about to bet every game this weekend. Think I'm going to win them all. And then Monday, I've already decided is when I'm going to start my journey to get in shape. I'm not joking. Those those two things. I made a compilation of us talking about this on the show. What? I was getting in shape. I would like to see that. It's like meanwhile. It's different. This is different this time. I'm going to go with could I jump over this? Yeah. Okay. Yes. And then I'm going to go with. I like could I jump over this? Did I lock my door? Okay. What do you think about? What do you think? Like could I jump over this? Give me an example. Walking into like the story and other things that block the cars and people come in the tragedies. You're like, should I hop this or like a couple of cases of water on the floor? Should I hop this? Yeah. You know, because anytime you get in the air, it's dangerous. All right. That's it. Thanks. Got a pretty strong. You literally said too that we think you might say tiger. Yeah. I'm going to go with. How are languages invented? Yeah. It makes no fucking sense. And just translations. People can see multiple languages. Sign language. None of it. It hurts my brain to think about. And then this one. Did I already shampoo? Okay. All right. Okay. Like in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a dumb thought. And when it happens, when you have to think about it, it's like fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really dumb. Yeah. But I think I did. Okay. Good pick. But just in case. I'm going to go with, do we see the same colors? And then I'm going to go with, um, do you have another pick? No. No. That was it. That's what, man. What an end to bum rush or season. What would it have been? Oh, I don't have another pick. Yep. Never mind. No, but what would you have been? I didn't have one. What do you mean? I have to say something. You had one. That's the thing. I thought I had to pick another pick. I didn't have another pick. I was really just trying to find another pick right there. Yeah. They're not good picks. No, you have another pick. Tell us the other. Well, this list was you picked for I wrote down dumb things you think. And then I just thought of things you think. So my list is not the best dumb things you think. Tell me. Uh, what did I forget is on here? What did I just forget is on here? Uh, did I just step on a crack is on here? Uh huh. And then, uh, how did they meet each other is on here? Uh huh. And then, yeah, yeah. Now, you know, look, it's a duel. Another one I had was how do planes fly? Yeah. How do boats? We'll talk later. Yeah. I mean, aircraft carriers think about that for too long. What the fuck? Plants placement. Yeah. Good duel. I feel you guys feel good about the duel. Yeah. I think it'll come down to the end. I think, I think you might have gotten him. You think you got him? I thought of had him the last two. So you definitely won one. Yeah. You won the second one. Yeah. Chipotle. I don't know. Chipotle. A lot of people go Chipotle. I think that's Hanks. Uh, the first one I think is going to be close. Yep. Very close. Depends on how the Muhammad vote comes out. Yep. I think that is a swing vote. Yeah. The great mistake here was going pen and paper. I should have went notes app. Yeah. Anytime we're going pen and paper, I get distracted with the pen. And you were the one who brought the pen and paper out. Yeah. I know. Yeah. We mean distract with the pen. You start doodling. You know, and then now you're not writing down answers. You start. Yeah. Tough. I knew I shouldn't use the pen. That's. Good duel. Me or good duel Hank. Good duel. Zach. Good duel. Way to be. It's a pleasure. All right. Good job, boys. We'll see how it goes. We'll actually have the results for what we do fire fast. So let's get to our interview with Stavvy. We'll get to Stavvy the second he's brought to you by TickPick, the No Nonsense Ticket app. Check the calendars. It's Sunday's Monday's Thursday's football is taking over and TickPick is going to hook you guys up this fall. The couch doesn't deserve you for all 18 weeks. Get out. Go see a game. Check out the ticket prices on TickPick. There's no service fees ever. That means that you're going to save money on tickets for the same seat that you're finding on other ticketing sites and all those savings. They will add up and with TickPick, they've got the best prices and it's super easy to use. They're hooking us up. 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If it's hitting the course for around pre-gaming a ballgame or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling, Twisted T is always there that will keep the good time for cooling. Grab a refreshing Twisted T today and now here's Stavvy. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is our good friend, Stavros. Stavvy. He's in studio. What's up, boys? It's great to see you. You got a new special coming out on Tuesday on Netflix. Very excited for it. By the way, congrats on being on the cover of the New York Times bestseller. It means a lot. This is our way of just, we actually did an accidental genius thing where we put all of our friends on the cover. So then when they come on, we say, hey, congrats on being on the New York Times bestseller. They're like, oh, congrats on New York. Oh, shit, I didn't even want to mention it. I just want to let you know you're on it. You did it. It's you. I'm dressing you. I mean, this is, I am flattered to make the cut, but you guys having a New York Times bestseller is a mark of the decline of society. It is the dumbest thing ever. You two are barely literally to let alone everybody who works here. It's fucking insane. We've said it multiple times, but there's a There's an open parenthesis on page 8 that never gets posted. That happens in a real book. - Mm-hmm. - This is so fucking stupid. - On the cover of the-- - What even is this? You guys just remembering podcasts? - Yeah, yeah, it's like, hey, it's a book of-- Oh, that one time. Dude, half the book is all the people wrote it for us. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, we actually, we had our guests that were our most popular guests, right in Chapters, and then they could say, hey, hey, we're in this book. - Right, right, right, right. - And then on the cover of the amount of people that have confused you and Ryan Rassillo has been styled as you just think. - We have a similar look. - Yeah, Rassillo would have my hair if he wasn't a coward. - That's true, if it wasn't a fucking shaving coward. - That's true, but yeah, no, there's a lot of, we had a bunch of people write other chapters, a lot of pictures, you know, what exactly you'd expect. - Spat it out. - Yeah. - It's like, this is the kind of work that's like to get a C minus in a community college history paper, but because our world sucks dick, it's a New York Times bestseller. - That's why I was actually like, I love to read a random pass. Let's flip, can I actually see the book and flip to a random pass? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you pick one out. This, I'm not joking, I was like mentally like struggling when they were like, your New York Times bestseller, I'm like, I shouldn't be, this is bullshit. - Okay, here we go. - An ode to Jerry O'Connell. I mean, what the fuck are we doing here, guys? I like Jerry too, but who wrote that, Jerry O'Connell? - By Charlie Barchett. - Oh, that was, we had our own fans write chapters. - What the fuck is this? - So you guys just cut up the little man. - No, no, no, no, no. - You guys got the little man in the book. - Comment in the book. - Yeah, you two comments in the video. - We gave the way a chapter of the book. - So, Charlie Barchett, you can write. Congratulations, Charlie Barchett on being a New York Times bestseller. (laughing) - What a scam. - What a racket. - What a fucking ruck. - We got away with this shit. - This is so funny. - Well, all of this is ultimately to funnel money from, like, Deloitte to gambling websites. (laughing) - That's your entire business model. - Yep. - Oh, man, it's so fucking funny. I, the fact you opened up to a literal fan's chapter. - There's such pieces of shit that is so fucking funny. (laughing) - Some fucking guy who listens. - No. - You know what this respect, Charlie? I'm sure you're a beautiful guy. - Yeah, the irony is that's probably the most well written chapter of the book. - Absolutely. (laughing) - Oh, abs, he's. (laughing) - He's smarter than I. - He's probably used spell check. - Yeah. - That's so fucking funny. That's so funny. - He was, like, a little nervous. Like, I don't want to send them, you know, an absolute piece of garbage. Anything you do. So I'm gonna have to, like, run this by a proofreader. - He probably had his mom look it over. - Yeah. - So we didn't even do respect. That's awesome. We'll congratulate him. - Yeah, all right. So, I am happy that while literally, the same way with me, like, I, this is my second Netflix special society, and society is down, but we're up. - Yeah, right, everyone who weirdly started a podcast in 2016, guys like us. - Guys like us. - We have the 2016 podcast, Brotherhood, where it appears God chose us as His people. And we keep winning that we don't deserve. - The history books are gonna write, like, what happened to the decline of, like, you know, the Roman Empire, the American Empire. It's like, well, they had, like, guys like Stavvy and Big Cat, PFT, as cultural leaders. (laughing) - That happened with the dumbest people all the time. - In 2016, this gorilla got shot, and then, yeah. - It almost started, and then that's it. - The Big Bang. - Yeah, people started listening to these fucking guys. - Yeah, dude. - Well, then everything fell apart. - Absolutely. - And we watched the special folks, even though we don't deserve to be. If you bought the fucking book, - Yeah. - The special, watch the special. - Yeah, yeah. - I aren't compared to the book. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I did work harder. I definitely worked harder on the special than you worked on the book. - Yeah, sure. - Oh, absolutely. - Well, we did, we, the book, we, we crammed. I assume you didn't cram the special. - We did not. - We did, yeah. - Two weeks before you started writing jokes. - By percentages, we did work really, really hard on the book for about, yeah, 14 days non-stop. - That's awesome. - I was like, all day, every day doing that. - I was just like that. - I mean, you've been on fire. I was just telling you before I loved you in Bugonia. Tyres is great. - Dude, Tyres season three. - Yeah. - Everyone go, this isn't gonna be a Shane Gillis sucker, which we do love Shane, but like-- - Lincoln sucks Shane, he's been in. - No, I mean, I, Shane is the man. - Shane is the man. - Like, those guys are so fucking funny and fun to work with. And like, yeah, that's the beauty of it, dude. Shane, Tyres season one was a web series that Netflix bought for some reason. - Yes. - And by the season three, this was the one where I was like, oh, fuck, we're doing a real show. - The writing, the writing, the stunt, like, the whole thing looked different. And it actually was like, not only that, but it wasn't just a comedy. Like, it pulled the Gill a little bit. - Shane, I think it was some real acting. - Yeah, like, acting in like, drama and like, oh, fuck, I just felt something different than just laughing at these guys being very funny. But you were great in it. - Thank you, bro. - I appreciate it. - A role you were born to play. Is it hard to have it? Did you get the method act to become a sex addict? - It was hard to be a horny, Greek guy kind of giving too much to his career. - Yeah. - You know what I mean, it was really hard. It was really hard. - Yes, I keep getting, and look, I've been playing fat scumbags. I think it's time, I wanna, and I got to play actually for the rest of my fat cuck entire season three. - Yeah, that's nice. - That's true. - But I'd like to play one more spiritual. You know, like, you know, like, your uncle that shit wasn't going good for him. - Yeah. - I would love to play like a fat ball. The accountant whose wife is fucking getting fucked on the side. - Yeah. - That's my next role. 'Cause I've played scumbags. I'd like, yeah, exactly. I'd like to play a sympathetic thing. - A guy we all feel bad for. - Exactly. - And then you end up with like, the hottest, you know. - Or maybe it ends up bad for me. - I kill yourself. - Maybe I kill myself. (laughing) - My big dramatic turn. - I mean, I did win. I saw the Odyssey this summer. And I thought, like, much, you know, a lot of other people online. I was like, this, where are all the Greeks? - That's, that's it, that's it. - That is a tough subject for me. 'Cause it was between me and Tom Holland for telemaca. - Yeah. - It's tough. I don't usually like disclose that Hollywood insider stuff, but we were the last two and he just edged me out. - Yeah. - We needed more Greeks. By the way, I think we do have a cuck of the year. Yeah, we do hang on to one side. - He got me the YouTube channel. - Kyle Connell wanted for saying that his entire, the entirety of his family beat him up for saying one negative thing about Kamala. - He sent to Bill Mar. - Well, that's no way, that's no way for the lib of the year to be behaving. - Yeah. - Well, no, that would be JerseyJerry. - Oh, JerseyJerry, like, for real? - I mean, you talk about the fall of civilization. President Biden gave the award to JerseyJerry this year. - Yeah. - That sounds about right, actually. - Yeah, okay, so here-- - Mentally Biden is at JerseyJerry. - It's actually-- - And knowing who JerseyJerry is. - It's actually like, it like, it like bums me out that we've lost some things. It's like the rock and jock Dan Cortez. It's like, what was it? Like MTV, it was rock and jock Dan Cortez. - Like, I imagine we don't have anymore because we would definitely have presidents playing in that. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, fucking right. - You know. - Pun pass and kick. - Yeah. - That would be a presidential pun pass and kick I would love to say. - It would be so sick. - It would be stunning. - It would be like, take a walk. - Yeah. - But it's crazy. - It would be like, JD Vance, stiff form, and karma to like-- - Yeah, right. - And like, I need that. - Her bikini top falls off. And yeah, it's the whole thing. So this is the cup of the year trophy. - Okay. Oh, I see. - It's such a man on a chair. - And Mary Ways Jerry, the Jerry's are sort of mirror images. - Yeah, they are. - They're very similar. - They're changeable. - Yeah. - So this is some of the shoot for Stabby, maybe next. - I'll get there. - But you, dude, it's been awesome to watch you. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to, like, totally blow you, but you're like blowing up and you don't know what's happening. - Podcasts are awesome. - I am as confused as everybody else. - You're like, it's so fucking cool to see you. - Thanks, man. Like, it is fucking crazy. Like, I don't understand how, I mean, again, just lucky I answered one of Shane's texts four years ago. He was like, hey, we're shooting something. It'll be fun. I was like, all right, fuck it. That changed my life. - Yeah. - And then just like, you know, I don't understand why, like, you know, crowd work clips went viral as fuck for two years, but they did. And then I got to just have big ass Netflix specials. And then the one that really makes no sense is why I got to just act immediately. - Yeah. - I think some fat actor, like God is trying to punish him. I think like, I am sort of like, hey, you worked your whole life. You're a Shakespeare trained actor, but you sinned too hard. So we're gonna find the dumbest, fattest guy from the worst parts of entertainment podcasting. And we're gonna elevate him to a movie star. I think I'm actually the villain and somebody else is true, man. - This is the feelings I had about the book. - Someone spent years and years. - There's real sports journalists. - Leavering over like writing and journalism. And then we just shit out half of them, half a book 'cause we didn't write the whole thing. - Of course. - And they're like, oh yeah, they, but yeah. So you are someone out there. - It's Paul Thomas Walter. - Yeah, yeah, Paul Walter Hauser. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That is how much honesty might be true, dude. - Yeah. - What do you do? - He's gonna win an Oscar one day. - Yeah, he's an actual good actor. - He's an actor. - You're a good actor, dude. - Did you act before any of this? - Not right. Dude, I, Baltimore School for the Arts, Sixth Grade, Summer Twigs program. That was the, that was the entirety of my acting. And then it's-- - Wait, it was called the Summer Twigs. - So you guys win literally an acting bundle of sticks? - Yeah, I suppose. - Yeah, I suppose that's true. - And we'll keep it at that. (laughing) - Again, this is where your friends being a literate helps us. - Yeah. (laughing) - I graduated from the British cigarette. - Yeah, the cigarette. (laughing) - The British cigarette. - Oh, a little bunch of twigs. - Yeah, dude, it was like the one I've never, you know, I just kind of was like a guy who was like, man, it'd be awesome to just be the fat neighbor in a sitcom. - Mm-hmm. - And it just did kind of happen. I'm not the fat neighbor, I'm the fat assistant manager at a tire shop. - Yeah. - That's all, dude, I, all, the, the, the max of my career was always like, be the fat guy who pops in seven times, you know, once every seven scenes. - Yeah. - To like, split his pants, you know, sit on a wolfie cushion, do that kind of stuff. - So sure. - Hawaiian shirt. - Exactly, so I'm happy to, if I could stay here for the rest of my life, it would be awesome. - You basically grew up and you're being like, if I could just be newmen or Kevin James. - Kevin James, yeah, exactly. Which way, it's the fucking meme. It's like newmen or Kevin James. Kevin James was the North Star, you know, not joking. Like, oh, King of Queens, dude. I actually have a joke in a special where I was like, I'm mad 'cause that's not what life is like for fat people. - Yeah. - Like, it's actually fucked up, they showed fat little boys that this is what life becomes. 'Cause it's like, no, sleep apnea. It's back problems, it's not getting hard, 'cause you had too big a sandwich. - Dude, that's what it's actually like to be fat. - It's the whole, it's the whole, like, dad bod. And it's like, the women don't actually want dad bodies. They want, yeah, dads who are ripped. - Absolutely. - That's different. - That would be the best one, but they'll settle. They'll settle for somebody who looks like shit. - Yeah, there's always, like, every fat guy in every TV show, every commercial has just like a nine out of 10 smoking wife. - I know. - He's always complaining about it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna be going, yeah, Amber on Wednesday. - It's Seth Rogen and Jason Seagull fucked it up too. - That's true. - All their movies. - They got a little sex, that's a great point. - Yeah. - Seth Rogen started fat and slowly became kind of sexy. - Right. - And Seagull too, when he shows his nice fat hog. - Yeah. - That was a big moment. Forgetting Sarah Margin with their hanging dong. When the protagonist of an Appetite Produce movie has a nice fat cock and he's not some fat guy with a little dick. - That was when it all started coming down for us. (laughing) - Oh, man. But yes, so, all right, so the special, where'd you film it? - Film didn't ball tomorrow at the lyrics. - Hell, yes. - It was, yeah. - I was gonna say, everything in your life is going well, except that Lamar will never win the big one. - Okay, what is this about? - Why the fuck are you saying stuff like that? - What do you mean? He's winning at this fucking year, dude. Championship loaded. We got mentor, we got the boy genius back there fucking setting up our defense. Fuck you. That's why Caleb's a piece of shit, he's a fucking bust. And I was about to just hit P.F.D. for no reason, but you didn't say anything. I was getting worked up, but I'm gonna waste some time. - I appreciate that. I was actually gonna ask you a more positive question when it's like having Nate Bargazio's red coach. - He does look like Nate. - Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. - Listen, the Ravens, I hope that I hope you get your wishes filled this year. - Thank you. - Is it Super Bowl on your birthday again? - It's not, I don't actually, I don't know. I don't think it is. - What's your birthday? - February 11th? - No. - I think Super Bowl this year's, - Didn't they move before? - It's like it's Valentine's Day. - Yeah, that's basically it. - Oh, that's right, yeah. So I do think you've got a decent chance. You have a little change of pace. I do feel like Harball moved on pretty quick after you guys. - He did, right? - He was the classic, the second you get divorced, you get a trophy, what? New York is totally a busted. The giants are a busted woman with big fake tits. 'Cause it's like, you know, she used to be hot. There's some history there, but it's like, you just, it's kinda like going Bezos, like Bezos is life. That's what the giants are, a lot of history, you know what? And you're trying to give it a facelift. That's what part, and I think he will be good for them, honestly. But, you know, it's tough. I think, as long as we got Lamar, we got Derek Henry, and if we can, I mean, look, Matt and BK comes back. That's the thing, our edges are fucking nice. - No, I think you guys will be good. - But like, don't fuck with me, BK, you piece of shit. 'Cause it is one of those things where I'm like, I need Lamar to get everything to click for one. - Yeah, and you got Max Crosby? - All right. - We did fine on that, all right? - You actually, we got, we actually, you did pretty well. - We finessed, we finessed the situation in a weird way. - It was actually a nice spot where it's like, you're like, oh fuck, Max Crosby's incredible. - Of course. - You're like, oh, we gave up that for Max Crosby, and then it flipped and you're like, oh, now we got, okay, so we just get the guy with him. - So we just get the guy with him. - No, we were not spreading shit. - Yeah, who's not Max Crosby before still? - But he's not, you know, we didn't give anything up. - I think you guys are gonna be in a better spot because I do think that the Harboth thing, like he's a very good coach, but it does get stale at some point. - I know. - And you just lose the message, having someone new, it's gonna be similar 'cause it's very, like, Josh Allen and Lamar have similar situations, like coaches that maybe it got stale, and now they got new guys like, could it be the thing that propels them? - Absolutely, and I think for both of those guys, it did feel a little late. I mean, I love Harboth, obviously, but to me, I mean, I will never stop thinking about that year where it was on my birthday because it felt like so perfect. - That was such a good game. - It was like, he goes out, we win, and then it was like, we still had Mike. - Yeah, the Mike's coach, yeah. - And it was like, and like, I had this entire fairy tale where it's like Harboth, like, at the ceremony, it's like, and here's your next head coach, and he becomes a ceremonial GM, but it was clear Harboth wasn't ready to, you know, these guys don't wanna hang it up. And again, I think it'll be good for the Giants. They need to, like, a floor. - Yeah, he's the Red Hat for the Giants. - Exactly. - They're gonna get a little chance. - Exactly. - Eventually, they'll eat through it, you know. That's the playoffs, they gotta get to the playoffs, but get there first. - Yeah. - Are you Nick's fan? We were talking about this during the playoffs. - I am. - 'Cause I thought that you were, and I think Big Cat was like, it's more of a Yannis fan. - I'm like, Yannis over everything. - Absolutely. - So, this actually is, I would love to make this kid, and talk to you guys about it as sports bros, because I think I have an air tight. Some of my friends were, like, making fun of me about being a Nick's fan on this championship run, particularly Joe Liszt, that Boston piece of shit. But I think I moved to New York 12, when poor thing is was drafted. 12 to 13 years ago to remember when. I grew up in Baltimore. I'm not gonna be a fucking, you know this. I'm not gonna be a wizard, you know what I mean? - You don't believe in the wiz? - No, dude, the wiz are back. - But, like, I'm not from DC. - This is a trick for PFT to have you bring up the wiz. - That's a great point. That's a great point. That is a good point. There's the first time you've had any hope. - Yeah, thank you. - In a really long time. - Exactly. - Just a little bit of wizards talking all of a sudden everybody's like, whoa, this is way too much wiz. - Yeah. - But, you know, I'm interested to see what happens. But I, like, I could never do that. Like, it would be like being from Chicago and rooting for Milwaukee essentially, right? - Yeah. - Or vice versa. Actually, it'd be like someone from Milwaukee rooting for Chicago. It's the smaller city has to get cocked and root for the bigger city. I never wanted to do that. And so when I moved to New York, if Baltimore had a team, I would be the biggest super fan of all times. Like, that's my favorite sport as much as I love football. Basketball's my favorite sport. I would be fucking, I would be Jack Nicholson for Baltimore, right? - And you ride for Yannis. - And I ride for Yannis, so. - Do you ride for, do you ride for Yannis's brothers? - The same way, 'cause that's kind of bullshit if you don't. - I do, but, you know. - Sounds like you don't. - Well listen, I do, 'cause he's always been on the same roster the whole time. - Right, I know, but now aren't, or the next time. - Didn't wanna go get left in Milwaukee? - Yeah, I mean. - Don't pick him off of it. - So you have to, like, I need you to like, league past box games. - Yes, yeah. - Phenascists or whatever. - No, dude, honest, yeah. Phenascists, I don't think it is it. Which one is it? - Gorshta, Phenascists. - I don't know. - There's four of them. Gorshta, Phenascists, Alex. I think Phenascists out now. He's one of the business mind. - Okay. - A shrewd man. - Yeah. - I will not say anything bad about a single that the CUMBO brother. Nice try big cat. - He eats, I mean, the honest, this is a big, I feel like, this, the next, like, three years, like, if you're gonna win another one, it's gotta be now. - And listen, I like, I mean, you know, they have such an incredible coach. He can fit, like, going to Miami is one of those places where you're like, all right. I mean, it was about to be Doomsday when it was fucking Boston. I was going to fucking kill myself. - Yeah, that would have been tough for you. - I couldn't, it would have canceled out. - Yeah. - There was no, I would have just turned your back on him. - I would have had the good fellows give him $1,300, be like, I'd turn my back on you now, I have to root again. - I couldn't, it would be the weirdest thing. It would be like, I would see his face and be happy and see his jersey and cry. Like, I think I would have lost my mind. - Yeah. - Would you have touched, like, convinced yourself that he wasn't actually Greek? - Like, told yourself, you're yourself a tale, like, actual, you know? - Oh, yeah, really kind of Albanian. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know he loves Greece too. - I couldn't do it. It would be hard, but I didn't, luckily, didn't have to do it. - Guess we'll never know. - Yeah. - And Miami, listen, I'll never root for Miami, like, if they come against the Knicks, I'd root for the Knicks, but, like, I don't like that it's a rivalry, what I like to feel, like, the Timberwolves would have been awesome, for example. - You need him to go to the Sacramento Kings. - No, I don't want him to be bad, but it's just like somewhere cool, you know? Anyway, but I'm pumped. I think that, like, you know, I just want to see what he does. Miami's a fun city. If I have to get down there and see some games, hey, he's not the worst thing in the world. - Have you talked to him? - No. - 'Cause he hasn't said moral talk to him. - He was at a benefit where he was there, and I just missed him. I was sick. Sam invited me, and I was sick that day. - Did you know he was going to be there? - No, I had no fucking idea. - If you were sick and you were going to meet him, like, you would have gone, right? - Would you have gotten him sick? - Or would you have felt like, oh, shit, maybe I shouldn't meet him. Maybe I had a good point. - Maybe this would be saving his life by staying home. - That's a good point. I probably would have, I don't remember how sick I was. If I probably would have masked up, you know, still had the COVID mask laying around. - Made sure he would have thought I'm an insane person. - Yeah. - 'Cause it was also like a gala, I think you had to wear a suit and tie. I would have been up there masked up. - Oh, yeah. - I would have put it on just to meet him. - He would have liked the fucks going on with me. - Anybody else, I don't give a shit about that. - Yeah, yeah. - So much. - How did you go to Greece this summer? - I didn't do it. I had to fucking throw my- - How's Greece doing? I heard in Greece, they don't have toilets that you can throw toilet paper away in. - Unfortunately, that is true. - What does that mean? - That's just, you know, bad post-war infrastructure. - So there's a shit basket. - There's just. - You need a little shit basket. There's just trash in the bathroom. - Yes. - With a lid, you use a lid. - And then who throws that out? - That's a tough, no one knows. - No one knows. - No one knows? - That's the answer to that. - Yeah. - I mean, probably your grandmother or mother, that's the flip side of a patriarchal society. Growing up, the first born son I've never had to worry about. - Yeah. - And it takes out the shit papers. You know, they're just gone when I get there. But yes, it's a- Tough look that is I mean, I think the big players used to play in Russia that it was the same shit I remember reading a reading an article and they're like the one problem with playing overseas is that you can't flush Your like I think it was like a dianna to Rossi quote. Yeah, which is like somebody has to come and take Mysteriously the shit papers disappear for them, too That's a big problem. That is one thing America is crushing really good plumbing air conditioning and plumbing Yeah, we fucking kick ass. Yeah, I think that's it's the same way in parts of Latin America and South America too Of course and you go in there and as an American you see that sign on the wall and you're like surely they can't mean Like my poop not me goes right my poop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's that's major culture shock You know like it does me. I think it makes you gritty. It makes you gritty. It makes you or by the way It makes you earn every wipe. That's true. And now you're like now now. It's not just an endless an endless black hole You throw your shit paper on there's limited space. Yeah, you have to be very strategic And you have to really get the most out of every square I'd have to be like, you know like when you're in college and like you never want to take out The trash you step on the trash. I'm stepping on the track on the shit papers. You have your shit boot Yeah, the shit paper boot and you just press it down. I'm not taking it out today. I'm yeah, you're just stacking a shit paper You fold your shit paper into origami and put it on top Growing up it was just like you flush something and then who knows where it goes That's how you just get rid of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We flush our goldfish down the our dead one. Oh, yeah, I don't know if you were upset about that Like where else is supposed to go. I was like it's in the book. It was like nine years ago. Oh nine years ago. Oh you did I thought you met your children. No, no, I thought you're doing a hard work. I said don't a dull man We flushed our goldfish that we had make NFL picks for us down the toilet. How could I forget? What was what was Larry Larry. Yes, Larry actually 5% spectacular Larry like actually the world's best gambler. Yeah, and then his grave got robbed We buried him in Canton, Ohio at the Hall of Fame He did better than the turtle. Oh the turtle saw we re-homed the turtle re-homed The turtle was getting made we got totally mr. Pear and then we had a forest Galante who's a big like wildlife guy Outdoors men on YouTube he came into the office and introduced him mr. Pear and he goes, you know mr. Pear is actually that's a female turtle That explains its record against the spread. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't really watch ball Yeah, it could give you like mix signals But my fucking bitch me turtle wife won't suck me off I had to tell my kids that we have mr. Pear anymore. They were pretty upset. Oh, no. Yeah, they like yeah little kids love turtles I was like listen, he's she she's that bitch that bitch sucked a camp. Yeah, that war call that was the reason you don't have candy this week That was the reason we were light on the Saturday, Donuts So what else is going on? I mean, it's the special really like please watch the special everyone. It's good as fuck I work hard favorite one. It's my favorite one and I did it with Matt Johnson who he directed Tony He directing the front of the band the show blackberry. Oh, how you so fucking funny match the man And we did something kind of fun with the special like we like I don't want to give too much weight But we do like some or get there's a real interaction and then we build some interesting stuff on the special around it because Matt is so good at like Finding real people and and putting them into like his movies and TV shows and stuff So it's kind of like an interesting if you're a fan of Matt which he's stuff is so great You should check it out and if you just like straight up good as stand up I worked on this for like three years. I mean you guys came to Chicago theater. Yeah, that's the it's pretty much a better version of that from like a year ago But I've been touring with this for like three years. So please watch the special everybody. That's the main thing But then you know after that There's other shit. I guess yeah, are you are you gonna like because the acting is going so well your podcast everything are you gonna stick with Like comedy go like are you gonna like after this one like this is a big one I know but like it's hard. I would imagine it's doing stand-up comedy's got to be the hardest thing of the three I would imagine you know It's them traveling's the most but like acting's kind of like it's not harder. It's just fucking annoying. It's a real job Okay, like you're other people depend on you you can't wake up hung over yell at your Albanian friend to go get you Fucking sausage. I can cheese. Yeah, you know what I mean like it's and also like I'm not a fucking act like I'm a stand-up Okay, like it's like I'm not one of these guys that wants to leave like okay. I love look I'll I want to be like the fact like I love Adam Sandler Chris Farley movies will Ferrell like I'd love to do like a Danny McBride, you know, he's bound it down my favorite show obviously I'd love to keep doing stuff like tires and that kind of thing But dude stand up is where I belong because I I would like it to like in sports media where it's like newspaper writers Want to be radio guys radio guys want to be on TV because like TV's like a lot easier to do than write a column every sure for sure For sure like stand up getting up every night is the biggest grind of all close and it I mean yes It's like ultimately it easy compared to real jobs when compared to other showbiz jobs It actually is more work right um, but I just fucking love and it is killing me clearly like touring destroys you like and I eat like shit. I do drugs. Whatever, but And I can't really nice one ever there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I do drugs Every time I want to I relapse but I Had a year and a half of some right as he was like on the road the first day. I was like let's get fucked up immediately And I've just been doing that for two years since oh, so that's I have some stuff to figure out but look man When I'm acting I feel like a it's like putting a little fucking rat in us tuxedo You know what I mean, but it's like where I belong is in the mud podcasting do extend it like like you mother fuckers too I mean, I remember when the the ESPN show. Yeah, it was like fucking heartbreak like I remember it feeling shane the ESPN show Yeah, it felt like there were moments where all of us were trying to do it and at Nick Mullin had his fucking commercial Taken away like all of us kind of tried too fast. Yeah to do it the regular way and then we realized like we're not men for this No, we're not meant to help these standards. Yeah, yeah, it felt like We've done a lot of good fellow's illusions, but it was them getting made scene back to back to back Yeah, we're all my friends. We're getting insane opportunities and immediately getting fired And so I'm like dude I'm lucky that I was the low less talented of that group, and it took 10 years for me to get stuff to get like and by the time I was getting mainstream stuff. I was like, oh This is a bonus, but where I belong is here doing stand up fucking literally you guys Accidentally becoming the best but like the reason I'm on the biggest sports show is because my dumb friends accidentally have it I would never try and get on the biggest show of anything You know what I mean like my entire press tour was like I was like I guess I'll go to LA and do fucking bad friend I'll just do bad friends then I'll come here and do P.S. Stop in Chicago, then they'll go I hit up Shane and he was like I'm going to another game. So it's like all right I guess I'm not doing that show like that just much. I didn't try and reschedule. I was just like hey, dude Are you gonna be around? He's like no, I'm like all right, fuck it. Yeah, I guess I'm just not doing the biggest comedy podcast Our press door for the book was like going on other barstool shows Yeah, yeah, yeah, just shittier versions of your show. No, we had a meeting and they were like Canadian version Yeah, they were like I like we're thinking maybe you do this like you know a big like Fox hit right and we're like how about we Just say it on the number one sports Like I think we have our own press That's also like we'll just get everybody that wrote a chapter in the book to promote the book Yeah, that's right there makes it a New York Times bestseller Yeah, everybody who collaborated on this bought a copy that's a million people Yeah, it takes a village The good fellow's analogy. I think it's kind of like Back in the day the mob tried to you know, they tried to go clean right? Yeah, people were trying to get legitimate businesses and if they tried too hard to break in they would get elbowed out because they'd be like this guy's dirty You know, it's got this long track record until eventually you wait long enough and they just control some of the businesses now Which are businesses and that's kind of like we're the podcast in class. That's a great 2016 I think that's where we're at right now. It's like well the mob kind of runs everything Yeah, like what are you gonna do like yeah, like Pat McAfee has the most power at ESPN? I know he has so much power. He thinks he can do music That's when you know someone is lost It's like Roman Emperor successful. Yeah, I'm actually good at I'm gonna just do the song's jelly roll doesn't want to do Whatever jelly roll through away. I'll go ahead and take a crack Look to do the show Pat No, it's like it's either that or like the the nerd who starts doing like Brazilian jiu jitsu It's like I could actually get in a real fight Jack. Yeah, yeah, like like when Jonah Hill was like I could I could I could fuck any of you up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I don't think so. I love Jonah, too And it's like I I we need to get back to what's beautiful about being even if you're not fat anymore in your soul Being a fat guy's good. Yeah, you know what I mean? Stop trying to be I don't want we shouldn't be leading with violence Right be it when you're when you've been a fat icon even as skinny It needs to be about having the good times rolling. Yeah, it needs to be about making fun of yourself That's what you that's how you make friends and you can make fun of your friends, too But you have to ultimately not be too serious about yourself. But yeah, dude. That's how I feel where I'm like stand up Is what I'll do forever podcast and then like listen. I'm not gonna stop them from putting me in movies But I'm not going to say no thank you. That is the best feeling like we talked about it when we were going back in like the 10 years of like Having that realization like I don't need the other things you you think you need them because that's what everyone tells you Yeah, and then you realize wait. I don't need the SP and I don't need a TV show We're pretty we're having a pretty good time here. This is insane. Yeah, it's fucking full cool I mean, I just got you got when you guys coming you're gonna come to the new office I I was honestly inspired by the fact that you guys just made a hilarious place to hang out. Yeah, it's technically your job Yes, I did the same thing in New York. I was trying to get myself a nice What'd you get what'd you get set up because the problem with New York? She's starting to square foot Yeah, I mean compared to this. Yeah, but what do you get like I just got like a real office? We have a studio. I got myself a little big buck hunter got myself a hundred inch television Hell yeah, you know what I mean? Like a couch that reclines. Yeah Like the amount of hang space versus and like there's like a desk in the wall like pushed up against the wall But all the like video games and the fucking vintage pornography that gets. Yeah, that's number one You know what I mean? I'm got to get up on your uncrustables game though. That's a pretty Culturally, it's beautiful what you're doing uncrustables wise Yeah, it is great. The problem is like every time you go you walk past that fridge You think yourself one I give myself a little treat. Yeah a little boost Yeah, yeah, a treat a boost a boost for the work of energy. That's what I literally that's how I start I was like let me get one. Yeah, my kidding. Yeah, I started I gotta started with the fucking uncrust Like I feel my blood sugar might be a little bit low. This would be good for me to have this But it is it is yeah, I mean I like I was I think I was telling my wife as she was like what do you like in 20 years? I was like yeah, I'd love to have like a like a bar or pizza place like a place in the back that I could just hang with my friends You literally have that now. There's no front to it, but you have that you literally do that every day No, but I'm with you. It needs to be an operating business. Yeah, I'm so with you like because that's the next level Right, like owning a failing business as you're like hang as you're living as my hangout spot Like in the back and just have have just like a like I walk by like a night's a Columbus the other day I was like I just I think I just want to be there Absolutely working. I want to work the fryer at a diner like I want to work of black top I would love if I had a fucking diner and nobody came in but my friends. Yeah awesome But also not work at that much. No, I work one shift every four months. Yeah Come out chop some money and send me like I'm gonna go play cards in the back Exactly what I what basically what I'm saying is when I want when I get so fucking high that I I'm non-verbal and I have a sandwich in my head that I can't Like, you know communicate. I want to go back there and create it myself. You know what I mean? Like I want to deep fry the tenders. I want to want to want to you know put bacon in the breading You know what I mean? Like when I can't say it. That's what I want. Yeah, I want a full kitchen in my disposal to to make that Fat dreams come true. Yes, it's actually not the craziest thing to think that we would put it at some point like a drive-through window here Yeah, at the office and just hire somebody that's just like yeah, selling subs at the side I mean, yes, you should just have you should have a food truck that that's somebody that were it's like in-house. Yeah That's what you fucking I mean chef Donnie kind of is that. Yeah, that's true But I think we need to make it like formal. Yeah, or a tireshop just hang out. Yeah, that's yeah, that's not bad That's exactly it like I just we basically have created a tire shop without any tires Yeah, have you uh by working on a show of you unknowingly like picked up all the tips and tricks about working at a tire shop? Like all the ways they getcha. I have no idea. No, no. We do no real research. It's it's in a real tire shop And we are just it's funny because we're surrounded by functioning tire shops like it's like Steve's dad shop is still my office is his father's real office. Yeah on the show So we're around it, but no I'm having all my time when we're not Acting as eating uncrustables There's the you know the crafty I go buck wild on throw Reese's cup in the oh, you have under the uncrustable Should we have all right, Zach you all right. Let's let's get this because they did please we have a we have a Reese's Lounge here that you We have a literal candy shop in our in our office. Oh my god. You got the Reese's fucking sponsor. We have a Reese's Lounge. I'm so It has everything. I'm so jealous. You got a fast break. Yeah, fast break. Oh, yeah, five the fast break. Yeah I mean The other day, but like when you were six years old you're like someday I want to be sponsored by Reese's That came true. Oh my god That's beautiful. Yeah, we do have all the ingredients here to make an uncrustable with the Reese's yeah We'll get back to stave in a second But it's stavros is brought to you by our friends at Lucy Lucy breakers I got him right here in my pocket the Lucy breakers are intense long lasting Flavor that actually satisfies Bighten burst tech bite down to pop the capsule for a satisfying click and a rush of fresh flavor Breaker's flavors are built to stay vivid from start to finish apple turns. I see Barry gets a blast as citrus and mint gets even more minty creating refreshing Flavor experience that lasts longer and stays more interesting than ordinary pouches Lucy's the only pouch that delivers long lasting on-demand flavor get 20% off Your first order when you buy online at lucy.co/pmt with code PMT and here comes a fine print warning This product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical go get lucy's today lucy.co/pmt Code PMT lucy.co/pmt now back to stavvy all right So stavvy has stavvy just met Zach for the first time. I know but listen in person But like like America. I've been enchanted by Zach's offbeat charm. Yes. Yes. So Stavvy in the kitchen He was like what has changed around here and Zach has been tasked with giving him an update And then we'll maybe talk about maybe an update with I'd love an update. I have an update of my own. Yes. Yes But I would love a general update because I literally think the last time I was here I think Zach might have started like the week. Yes. Yes. I just missed him. It was like April of last year. Yes Okay, you know, I've loved the clips. I've loved again falling in love with those husky eyes. Oh my god You know, it seems like it seems like again those that seems like someone gay that was a gift from the god. Yes Caribbean blue It's beautiful By the way, Zach our bad not having you we we're literally like at your house yesterday I haven't even talked to you. Oh, yeah, you guys are like down street like 20 minutes. Yeah, we should have had you come with us one of my One of my friends was a bartender yesterday ran too much you guys we would this is acts like backyard and didn't bring them That's fucking hilarious We landed. I was like wait, isn't this where's Zach's Whoops, should have brought him oh when you went to Florida. Yeah, we were just fucking funny dude. We just didn't bring them All right, Zach ready First bulletin point I have on here is that we built a yug station for speed pounding beers Ooh, I love that and how much use does it get? It's been I think it's been retired. It's why I've been growing over it Yeah, so Dana beers wanted a yug station where he could it looks like an actual gas pump but it was you beer And conceptually, I love it. Yes, conceptually made a lot of sense when he brought it to me And so I was like yes, of course, let's do it. I want you to be happy He has not used it like that's a real that's such a shame. Yeah, it sits right there. That's a real shame Yeah, but it is a good idea young great idea. Yeah, well the only thing the only it hasn't he's done probably like 15 episodes The only thing that I made a manager because I gave him like a decent budget to create this. I said that When you do a yug station episode, so it's essentially him just having a guest the chug of beer and that's the that's the episode I said you have to also put it on Spotify. So there is a podcast version It's like 90% of the podcast version has just ads and then it's like Hey, we got stopby here. All right, ready set go All right. That was it. It's great podcast. That's an awesome podcast. All right. Nice. I love that. Okay I'll hang his become left handed. Yep. Yeah, really switched. Yeah, interest friends. It's all over. Yeah, oh wow It was still a little late for that not entirely because he's still like sometimes drives right handed Right handed. Uh-huh, but yeah, he made he's he calls himself. He's a lefty now. Yes. Well the thing is that's how it starts Yeah, yeah, you got listen sometimes even though you're wearing khaki's in a button down You got to put a little lipstick. You know, I mean that's the first step to becoming who you really are I'm sure it's the first step saying your lefty is the first step to actually becoming a lefty On a pair of heels That's step one as he part was he's he has been a lefty his whole life And then for some reason he decided he would golf righty and that's just how he always golfed And then he thought to himself. I need to go back to the old me. Yeah, but he got good at righty Yeah, and then he switched it lefty and now he's worse at lefty It has been nice tracking again. Here's what I know. I've been tracking Hank's misery. Yeah, that's been really nice because it's terrible year It's been a it's just an and it's not really about I feel bad Frank because he is really he's the sin eater for every Boston sports fan Yeah, basically on this show and just He it's just him. There's a couple avatars where you're like I'm glad you're fucking sad. Yeah, because Boston has had it so nice And the fact that it was I know the skipping ahead maybe I'm sorry. I don't want to I don't want to you know Spoiling thing, but the fact that the next championship was his birthday. Oh yeah, maybe the most beautiful as a fan of the show Just a beautiful moment. So upset and he lost live. Yeah, it's gone. Yeah, because live head we didn't we know that's embarrassed to care about live as already the loss But to like be sad is even worse. Well, I don't know if you heard is uh last week he went down to the last ever live event And they all they he said they treated him like royalty Because they didn't realize like we've been mocking Liv all along They were like this is Hank he does so much for yeah I tried to introduce him to Dustin Johnson and they're like hey, this is the guy that you know He's on part of my take he talks about live all the time does it was like what? So much more than the actual golfers who were on the Five hundred million dollars. Yeah, I can oh, that's oh, that's the number for me not to have principles Yeah, you know what I mean like they got to figure it out and I get to wear shorts All right next Max has been married four times four times Max got married four times. Yeah Max got married the ceremonies He got married this summer. Uh, it was a long process. It was Indian wedding is wife He got married he had to like go to Philly like three separate times be like oh now we got to go get the license now We got to go get to and we want to have a Philly marriage. Yeah Destination wedding. Yeah, so they got the actual they had a destination wedding outside of America So they did like sure fill out all the paperwork. He also had two bachelor parties. Now did we force them to have one of them? But it was a law it was like three separate marriages right two bachelor parties And now he's on a two-week sex vacation right now. Oh, so he's probably getting head right now right to second He's in Italy right now. That's awesome. He's been listening to this show like that makes me feel good knowing that my boys getting sucked off Yeah, on his in Italy. Yeah, belly full in Guini. Get it. You're dick sucked by the love of your life. Could be worse You just ask them sure All right, hold on I'll hand you the phone Let's see if he's getting One thing that he is doing is listening to part of my take, which I sure you I would not be doing if I were on an Italian sex Of course not Hello, hey max. Just wondering if you're getting head right now What are you getting head in a veranda in Tuscany right now? Hit your buddy stop max We were just talking about what I've missed and I was and I was like where's Max and they're like he's in Italy on a sex vacation And then I started dreaming about how wonderful that would be and so I was just wondering I was seeing if you maybe had some tiramisu on your lips And maybe also a little pussy juice in your beard. That's all that's all I was asking but hey, man No, no all right All right, so we're getting there. Yeah, all right. All right. Well, listen enjoy my friend Congratulations What time is it over there? It's like seven we're not pre-hats. Oh, okay. I see he's settling into some head This might be before dinner and giving by the way. Yeah, come on the Italians are passionate. Yeah, all right next up There's been some great memorabilia pickups Cover notable ones FSU COVID banner at half-court awesome head of swift chair in the act studio Yeah, I would love to yeah, we're wait. Oh, it's in the yeah There's I love to when I do the exit and Taylor chair. I bought the chair the Taylor Swift sat in for game Cleverie of the next verse Cleveland which was in Cleveland Yeah, and then came to the Nick that pissed me off. Yeah, you can't be listen Mm-hmm and with the ham sisters who are fucking L.A. I was like come on guys You can't be rooting against the calves and they're rooting for the calves and then immediately come with etsy level girl pun t-shirts That that was a little that was a little much for me. She took the best pond by far and that was kind of fucked up Oh, she did I don't remember it's Stevie nicks. It was her and Stevie nicks is good Yeah, she also gave one is her and Mariska hargotape. Yeah, Stevie next. Yeah, listen I'm not I don't want any beef on the eve of the special coming out. She's a very talented. That's the bad idea Okay, I take it back actually it was good that she did that. Yeah, please. I love the chair. I will sit in the chair I love you. She did a great job. Don't attack me pre-special. Please swifties Did you know what fuck that? I have to be a man of principle. Yeah, I did not like that and it's okay for me to say that And you please don't attack me, but also what's the special? Please watch this. You think yourself like maybe maybe I'll get an invite to the wedding How many people would have to be invited for me to get the end? It seemed like a lot. I had some I had like a crazy amount of friends that were there. Yeah, I mean it was really I mean Santino was there Yep, you know Tommy Alter the guy who knows everyone on earth. Yep, and no one is exactly sure what his job is or what he's ever contributed to society It's Tommy the CIA. I'm just thinking about it right now. He might the way that he runs our fancy football league. Yeah He's like, hey, do you guys want Tommy's missile? Yeah, yeah, I would not put a pass that motherfucker. Yeah, see me just real quick a copy of your fingerprints Also, we got Tim Robinson Let's go boys. That is yeah, I did not think I was getting an invite actually you know what I'm actually mad at you mother fucks Maybe I met at memes because one time where they got fucking where they got engaged you reran The video I did right after we lost and it made it look like remember I was like fuck Fuck Travis Kelsey. Yeah, fuck you know, I was I was going off because it was the day after the where we've been talking about this interview One of the darkest hours of my life. Yes being at the AFC championship in the building watching them win and I came back like I always do I'm an open book. Yep, and I come on I face the lashing. Yeah, I never hide. I'm always depressed It was a very commendable and whoever posted it the day they got engaged which I never would come out there with that The day they got engaged it looked like I was that mad at them for getting married I wasn't I was celebrating them at that point and now I think I now I've become an enemy of the which I'm a now look again Am I mad at the Kelsey brothers for coming into podcasting of course. Yeah as we've said this is for the rats Yes, this is the sewer of entertainment you shouldn't get to be Taylor Schripp's husband Handsome athlete your brothers and all pro Super Bowl winner like with a beautiful family stay out of podcasting you cock suckers This is for us, but I would never have had managed them at that level on their engagement day So I don't know if it was memes with somebody else but it was for fuck you memes. Yeah, that was my fault. I remember that Yes, we got a bunch of memories you're on your your foot is on the Boise State. Oh the car the turf Yeah, this is real blue turf from Boise. Yeah, from the fucking Statue of Liberty. Yeah for both of your bitch right after winning Yeah, this is the turf. Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. All right. We also have a trough from the from the bills Trough. Yeah, fully functional. So please use it sign it. I will. Yeah, I've gotten a little bit of a kick on weird Man, tell me fill me in on the ice cream. I know Zach. That's your area of expertise I love that you guys are creaming up here. What kind of mixes are we using? Do we get into any custards with flavors? So Jacob Owen and I do man the ice cream pick at softer ice cream machine Yeah, so we got vanilla chocolate and swirl two flavors and then twist as far as the mix goes Stobby we run a 10% milk fat. So it is a custard coming up. I love see I didn't even have to ask for a custard It already come standard around here. Correct. I love how the fuck you guys get down dude. It's it's this is Aspirin, but also awesome. Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll just have Three ice cream cones. Yeah, a day. No, I'm about to hit that. I mean, I'm just gonna take ice cream with Pepto Bismill in a second You know when you're like I just need it. Yeah, I know my stomach can't handle this But my man said he's guys working a 10% milk fat. You got to have you tell me I'm not gonna have a cone of custard on my way to the fucking airport Yeah, they need to make a pepto syrup As a topic. They needed sweet and savory Give me garlic, palm. Get garlic, palm pep, though You you crush up like Zantak and that's in the ranch. Yeah They should do it for everything. We should get like a pepto nicotine patch Right now as long as I have this patch on I can eat as much chili as I want in no diarrhea Can I get some of those nachos with the the pralow cheese? Dude, I've been thinking about this the the the foods that evil companies are gonna create to beat ozampic Dorito like Chips like the chips the ice creams the whatever, you know Fast food. Oh, it's gonna be incredible. They're gonna taste so good. I can't wait. I'm so excited I can't wait for the ozampic busters. Yeah, they're in the lab right now They're in the lab trying to beat it make us fatter than ever when Cam Newton like his team the panthers give up a touchdown He's on the sidelines and he just nods his head. Yeah, that's right. That's what yeah, that's what the food Okay, yeah, I love that I love And they've done a great job of operating it and keeping it. They know everything about it I respect that so much. Yeah, different life I think I would love to serve with you at the ice cream station. Yeah, any day. You want to pick up a ship There was a hot dog rescues mission from the ceiling nice catch for lifetime. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was fine David we got a hot dog stuck in the ceiling interesting. Yeah It's pretty much all you need to know and how did that happen? It was like a tennis racket someone okay, he took a free throw. Yeah, and on tennis racket launched a hot dog into the air ducts Pretty sick. It stopped the office for an entire day trying to get the hot dog out of the ceiling. The air was fucking, yeah, we're like running Scooby-Doo episodes, I love that. Breaking bad episode with the fly. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. The hot dog. Follow the hot dog. Give me your top three, Zach, give me the last, the final, the best three remaining. Best remaining. Max got married again. Okay, barsel sorry, call a duty team and a little bias there on your behalf, just like you care about that way more than most people. I want to be neat. I want to put that in the top three, that you and your friends started playing call of duty together, but it's nice, you got, you got your heart on your sleeve. And big M50, wrote a book and then re wrote a book and the book came out and then it's on one. Respect. I love that, that's a beautiful, yeah, that's, that's about right. To me, I was like, we got Zach, we got to, you know, that he's been, he's been a lightning rod really, really started up. It's like when they add a cute little kid to a failing sitcom, 10 years in, but it actually works. Like he's poochie from, from the Simpsons, but if it was awesome, poochie was awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I also like that Zach just summarized our entire year and if you're like, hey, can you actually just make that one line, it's like weed, a lot of ice cream, that's all that we've done. That's beautiful. Yeah. That was the most impassioned one and that's the one I cared about the most. That and again, Hank and as a result, all of Boston's misery has been awesome. Yeah. It's been awesome to watch. Yeah. Okay. So what's your update for? So I actually have just been, I'm getting to check in with all my friends I haven't seen while I was just in the bad friend studio and there's a palpable energy buzzing throughout the whole place. It's just started chugging water. I just, you know, I don't know if you guys know what's going on, but it felt, I wasn't privy to what was going on. It was kind of whispering, but it, some, it felt like the love was in the air. Oh. If I was over there, it was me, Bobby, me, Bobby Santino, all the production stuff and they were kind of discussing a member of the crew was really excited about something. But I couldn't really pick up, does that, is that like, um, does that kind of jive with anything you guys know? Cause I know it wasn't Santino in here recently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking about it the other day was Zach. And I, Zach, you watched the show all the time. He's a big fan. This comes out next. So I recorded it like a couple days ago. It will come out after this. Yeah. Yeah. But we didn't talk about it on air. It was more, see that's the thing. It wasn't about, it didn't feel like it was about for content content. Yeah. It felt like deeper than that. We'll cut all this. We can cut all of this. But I'm just saying, I'm just saying something was going on there. I would make a trip. If I was a member of this, uh, this crew, I would maybe start looking at Airbnb and Los Angeles. That's what I'm saying. Maybe take a trip. Do you guys have anything you need somebody to cover in L.A. So yeah, definitely. Yeah. Well, I was just thinking about the chargers. Yeah. Right. Chargers take out so fine. Oh, let's, you know what? Both up. Maybe go. Let's get boots on the ground for this Clipper situation. Oh. We need to investigate it. That's gonna find out that I need you to go out there and come back with a report that says everything is fine. I do think I would love to see and listen, you're reporting. You might get hungry, you know, you might need to grab some to eat and I'm scared. This kid is a sweet kid. I wouldn't trust him in the big city of L.A. alone. You might need a chaperone, you might need somebody who will check with Santino or Bobby Lee. And if they're busy, maybe they know somebody. Yeah. Because you were saying before, the only people you know in L.A. that could possibly help is Andrew, Bobby, and then whoever they know. Yeah. I don't know anybody else. And they're busy. So it's probably not gonna be them. But I'm sure they have like, I don't know, someone who's like somewhere between a family member and a staff member employee, which just seems like a weird type of person. Yeah. And one of them has someone that's sort of like a knee, sand and assistant or something at the same time. So yeah, I don't know. Again, I'm just speculating. I'm just spitballing. But it feels like to me, let's start with Zach needs to do a little investigative report again. Yeah. He needs to put on his fucking his Sherlock Holmes hat and go find us Uncle Dennis. Yeah. Go find us the locations of Uncle Dennis back with these boots on the ground, boy, you're ready to go. Zach's got a girlfriend now. Oh, really? Her name's Rudy. Oh, that makes so much sense. All right. That's beautiful, man. Yeah, it was buzzing. The energy was real. I love it. We're just a couple guys speculating right now, you know? Just a couple guys speculating. I'm just, I'm reporting to you what I felt in the room, right at Bad French studio. I was just. And I'm sure you could report where you feel in the room right now back to them as well. I could through the glass. Yeah. It's palpable. I'm smelling Zach's pheromones through the glass. That's what? Yeah. But I'm picking it up. That's exactly right. Exactly right. Yeah, but Zach, that's what if a woman were to smell this watch out. Yeah. All I'm saying is you'd have to hose this fucking pleather couch down if I were of the female persuasion right now. I'm smelling what I'm smelling coming, coming through the plexiglass. Oh, boy. Memes gonna have to burn that hoodie as fucking girlfriend is going to ovulate as soon as she smells it. She smells Zach's fucking pheromones. Zach, you got this man. Zach, would you be interested in that? Oh, yeah. I'm willing to cover any story for the show. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. All right. Zach, do you have a question for stabbyroback.com, R-H-O-P-A-C-K dot com promo code, take 20% off your first purchase, Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, jogger shorts at roback.com promo code, take. So you mentioned a little earlier in the show that you do have a special comment on Netflix soon. How do you go? Just back and forth when it comes to like maybe companies being like, you can't, have they try to tell you not to put anything in and how does that discourse go? What like, where do you draw the line on like, no, I got to still be me and then still kind of cooperate with what's going on? Yeah, sure. I don't think that's happening at all anymore. I think like that's a completely overdone. So in fact, like clearly, I mean, Netflix has bought into like I said, you like, they've come to the internet. Yeah. Like Killtony specials on Netflix now, right? Like, there's no, I think the idea that cancel culture exists at all is completely fake. I think like the most successful people say kind of fucked up stuff. And I'll just say in my personal like working with Netflix, they've been like, shockingly cool. Like there have been stuff where I'm like, here we go, they're going to fight me on, you know, this joke where I said a public assassination was good, for example. And they didn't. They've been, they've watched it at every like level and they've been actually so fucking cool to work with. And so yeah, I would say in general, like I think that stuff's way overblown. And I think most of it was just complaining, to be honest, like, look at the people who've complained about that. They also happen to have hundreds of millions of dollars for the most part. Right. And now, of course, a lot of shitty comedians who want to say slurs can't do it. Right. But that's because they're bad at comedy or don't have a fanbase or whatever. So and not that I'm saying that's, that's what I want to do. But I do like, I can say pretty much, they've kind of let me get away with anything. And I think like, if anything, what's been harder is the, it's kind of flipped. Where now the internet, I don't know if you guys feel this, I feel more censored like YouTube and Instagram. Now they're trying to become cable TV. Yeah. You can't say fuck. You can't say shit. You can't show, it's bubbling. You can't show a simulated cock get hard. These are all problems I had during a recent mission and possible spoof trailer that I posted where, where I was breaking into the CIA because the government had made it illegal to look at titties. And so I did a spoof. I spent a lot of money on like a mission impossible spoof, which makes no sense. Yeah. You can't even tell us a stand up. I realized I was like, wait, we don't make it clear. This is for stand up. What are we selling? I just spent like $20,000 making a video for fun. Anyway, I love, I love mission possible so much. But I do think like censorship has gotten kind of weird from like the internet and algorithms and how to controlling us. And I prefer to your question where it was like someone you could talk to because you could have a conversation. But now all these tech dickheads are like, oh, it's the algorithm. But you just fucking made the algorithm right? Too much of a coward to answer for it. So that's my roundabout answer there, Zach. A sex question remind me of something. Growing up, we had like iconic stand up specials. Yes. And that like stand out in the canon of like stand up. Bigger and blacker. Shepels first do specials, Louise, hilarious, all that kind of stuff. Right. So chewed up since that elephant in the room anyway, keep going. I would say like, are there, is there anything in the last like 15, 20 years that we can say, like, this is a legendary stand up special or is it? It might just be that we're too, too close to it that we won't know for a while. But like, yeah, I was just thinking is, are there any iconic stand up specials that stick out? That's a fucking great question. I, I do think unfortunately, like, it's lost a little of its, of its like mystique. Not now, by the way. Until now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, honestly, I hired a real, I got an actual film director to do it. Like we shot at the lyric, which is a, it's a 2,500 cedar. So it's this beautiful, expensive, like I spent a lot of, and I broke my arm and had to postpone it. So I had to like pay for certain shit twice. So I am trying hard to do a, because I love those classic stand up specials. But sometimes I do worry that it's just move, culture is just moved on. It's the monocultures in there. And like, you keep like everyone has seen this thing totally, totally. There's no like appointment viewing anymore. There's no like Eddie Murphy's Raw. There's no Richard prior specials. There's no, I mean, even like we're saying Chris Rock, like, like, Shepelle. and I think when Chappelle first came back, he had the attention, and those were very talked about, but I do think they were good, his first specials back were good, but I don't think they exactly matched the absolute legendary stuff he did in DC coming up or whatever. And I think that was the last time people were paying attention to that level was Chappelle when he first came back, but that's a, I don't think so, PFT, because I think the way people take in comedy now is just so, there's just specials were special because you never saw Stan, you like maybe saw it live, but there was no fucking TikToks, there was no, you didn't hear fucking dickheads like me talking eight hours a week for free. So it just, it was like if everything we do between clips, specials, YouTube, podcasts, was all in one release over that happened every four years, it makes sense why people gave more of a fuck like it does make me sad that I think a lot of people are just going to watch my special the way they watch like this podcast. Yeah, it'll be on their phone between shit, whereas you know, I would like for there to be a separation between a special and day-to-day stuff, but you also just have to be real, that's just not how people take in media now. Yeah, no, it's true, there is a, like putting out a podcast three times a week, I'm like, oh yeah, people are just watching it, and then it's just gone forever, and you don't want that to happen for something that is, you know, a lot more work was put into a special than just doing like, hey, this is just Wednesday in the middle of August. Totally, totally, but you know, whatever man, if people enjoy it, it's funny, and it's sometimes we just have to do it for us. Yeah, right? Like even that vision Impossible thing, it's like, it didn't make sense, but you know what? The way you motherfathers get to buy an ice cream machine, it's like, how about I use some of the Netflix budget to pretend I'm Tom Cruise. That's just fun to do. Why not? If you're going to make it and be a dumbass, do dumb shit, so the dumb asses that didn't make it, it could be like, at least somebody's doing it like, yeah, you know, spend your money on the dumbass shit. I don't know what investing is. Yeah, I went into a harness with a bad back, because I wanted to pretend I was Ethan Hunt. Right. Yeah, sometimes I find myself, I do stuff just because 13 year old me would have wanted me to spend the money. I bought a double neck guitar. Yes. I was like, you know, it's 13. This was a kick. Shredding, dude. Yeah. Is it a V? No, it's not the flying V. I thought about that. It's ESG double luck. That's beautiful. Yeah, but got an El Camino, because when I was 13, I was like, that's the car. Sometimes it's good. It's good for your mental. For me, it's also like, I mean, let's not be realistic here. Like, all three of us have been successful and made money that we never imagined to make. What would, like, would you want me to talk about like, oh, yeah, I put, I invested my money and now it's making money or be like, hey, he bought a trough from the bill scene that he pisses in now. By the way, I like to stay for the record. I have never invested anything. I just have a bunch of money and I buy. I have a savings account. Okay. Recently, I got two or three different bank accounts. It always to be like one checking account. Like until so recently. It's a high interest at least. You got, I think so. That sounds like baby. Whatever, man, who gives a fuck? I think it's nice to not know what to do with money. Yeah, it does give you a great, if you ever get caught, like in trouble with the IRS, be like, listen, I really just put my money there. That's all it's stayed there. It's all my, all my money is tied up in Dave and Buster's gift cards right now. I uncle Sam ain't got to know about this. All right, last thing. So everyone, please do watch. Please watch my special out Tuesday, September 8th prediction for the Raven season. You know what? Give us. Yes. Obviously super. We're willing to roll. Of course we're in the Subaru. No, but let's go realistic. I'm not going to hold you to it. Like it's, it's, I think we get 11 wins. Okay. Yeah. And I think we're winning the Superbowl. Oh, you are. Yes. Okay. What the fuck? You don't think you're winning the Superbowl? No, I think the, I don't know the bears defense sucks. If you at this moment, right before the season, don't think your team is winning the Superbowl. You're a fucking piece of shit. This is the moment where I know I just, I hope springs eternal. But are you also like? Yeah, I actually do think we're in the Superbowl. We have to score 71. You're not because you suck, but we will because we're awesome. So, but that's how everyone should think. Yeah. And right now, of course, it's fucking awesome. We, we, I do think Mentor's going to be fucking great. I do think like, you know, uh, just give us, give Lamar another shot that he's so good. To me, it's always like he's cool. I've said it a bunch of times. He's cool, Peyton Manning to me where it's like he will just keep giving him shots. He's awesome. It's going to fucking happen. And so I think Peyton Manning won his first Superbowl, like right around the age of Lamar and Josh Allen right now. Yeah, exactly. I think it's, I think there, I think like again, Lamar is due. Uh, you wouldn't have to lump him in with inferior talents. Okay. Lamar is the best in the fucking league. And I do think like we have an, if your team is a contender and you don't think at this, this date right now, early September, you're going to win. Why even fucking watch? No, I, I think, why? I think I actually thought the Bears are going to win the Superbowl before free agency. And they didn't do anything for the defensive line. And I was like, well, fuck, that didn't get better. That's true. That's yeah. Would you rather that Patrick Holmes wins another Superbowl or Josh Allen gets one? Oh, good question. I'm not a hater. Josh Allen. Absolutely. I think like first of all, Buffalo, I respect that fan base. I think Josh Allen's awesome. But I do think and again, it's a team game. That's the other thing. It's like everybody gets on these quarterbacks, but you know, uh, our D is our defense, did our defense has our defense historically done that well for Lamar? Not really. He gets all the, in the playoffs, he get, you know, everyone shits on him. And it absolutely made a couple mistakes here and there. But, you know, I can see I'd be happy for Josh, if it happened. Because if it's not us, I'd be happy for the bills. That's, I appreciate that answer. I'm just saying the danger that you run into is the previous generation had their Dan Marino, that now everybody says like Dan Marino and everyone instantly thinks they don't think about how awesome he was. It's just like, Oh, yeah, he never won anything. Um, but they do, but this generation and without awesomies. It does. It does. That's true. But now like Lamar and Josh are both kind of protected because they, they both kind of have had their hopes and dreams killed by the big bad wolf. Right. Patrick Mahomes. Then if there's just one of those guys left, then that's the guy that really kind of has to wear that. But it's a long, it's, we have a long time. You can't let yourself. I'm not going to let my life be dictated by fucking Steven A Smith style narratives. Like smart. The like Lamar is so fucking awesome. He will win. But if he doesn't win, like he has given me, Lamar is right now given my life more enjoyment than a Super Bowl winning quarterback has given other teams, right? I have it had more positive moments overall and I will in my life than, you know, even one great Super Bowl run that comes out of nowhere. Like the Nick Foles Super Bowl run, for example, Nick Foles. Yeah, that was an insane thing and fucked the Patriots. That was awesome. It will live on forever. But more over time, Lamar has given me more joy than he, then Nick Foles has given Phil Delphi Eagles fans. Truly. I really believe that and we have to stop being rings only that is not me getting ahead of him never winning. He is going to win. I'm telling that to you guys. These are the kind of things you're going to have to. No, I agree with you. We're fucking I always say that you got to the ride. If you can't enjoy the ride, it's the honestly the point. It's getting your digsuck by Calypso. I've been getting my digsuck by Calypso a lot. You've been even Lotus. I've been even Lotus. That's fun. Lotus is awesome. I don't fucking need to get home. Not everybody gets home. Yeah, proper pants might fuck my wife. I don't care. I'm having Lotus and Eden fucking getting pussy from Calypso. Yeah, but no, the moments. It's like the the Bears beat the Packers in in the playoffs last year. I was at the game. I floated out of that stadium and remember like all of like for, you know, first time act like you've been there. It's like, no, dude. This is you have to sell that these moments. I haven't been there before. Like that's the thing. I don't want to act like why the fuck should I have the Koram as a fan? Yeah. I'm here. I'm fucked up. I've eaten 40 Buffalo wings. I'm making my fuck. Everyone in my life around me is mad at me. I'm going to enjoy this Sunday. Like what the fuck? Your description of like what is failure and what that's pretty much that's what Yana said exactly. Well, he was a pussy for that. No, it wasn't fuck you. God, I'm glad the bulls will never be good again. I think it's never ever. It was like sometimes it's good to lose and not win. Yeah. Yana's a little more interesting. Is it champion? Is it fucking finals MVP? Had one of the most incredible ceiling performances and plays in NBA history and conquered his demons. How many fucking free throws did he hit on that clinching game? So I don't hear a fucking bad word about Yana said that the Kumbo. Thank you very much. But I also think also throws this poop toilet toilet paper in the trash can. I got a hunch. I got a hunch. The places and Athens that Yana says they got real plumbing. I got a hunch. He's he's graduated to real plumbing. There's a couple buildings that they tell they don't tell most people about Yana's nose about it. I don't think that body is equipped. Like there's no trash can increase. People be like robbing it like the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift trash out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is poop toilet paper. They're like, oh, fuck Andrew Santino's napkin. This sucks. Oh, man. All right. Stop it. You're the best. Boys always great catching up with you, man. I know. We love having you on and come back. Come to come to this. I was going to come doing you studio when you're sure. Please hit me up. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah. Thank you, boys. You're the fun. Go stop on Netflix. September 8th. Donnie was brought to you by our great friends over at Chevy. It's the heartbeat of America. It's a heartbeat. It's today is Chevrolet. Chevy's always been called the heartbeat of America. The Silverado keeps that heartbeat going. strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder. If that's getting out of town going to the lake or just not turning around when you probably should, Chevy's got the capability to the space and the muscle, everything you need for proper summer. Cooler's gear, whatever your version of chill looks like because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. Let's be honest, you've earned the summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll those windows down, turn the music up and just listen. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy.com. Learn more today. And before we get to Fire Fest of the Week, it's brought to you by Pepsi. Football's back. No game day spread. It's complete without the great taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar. Zero Sugar. You spend all week thinking about the wings, the nachos, the burgers that you're going to eat. Are you pairing it with the right drink? If you're not drinking it, if you're not drinking a Pepsi with all those tasty football foods, you're doing it wrong. It makes every food better. Pepsi Zero Sugar has a bold refreshing taste. It doesn't just compliment your favorite tailgate foods. It makes the whole experience in every bite hit a little bit better. It's like watching your quarterback escape three sacks to find a man in the back of the end zone. It's like watching your rival miss a chip shot fuel goal to lose a big game. Grab Pepsi Zero Sugar to elevate your game day. Tailgating deserves Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Now it's time for Fire Fest of the Week. Okay, let's wrap up. We've got Fire Fest of the Week and we also have breaking moves. Zach brought up the Sydney Swingy dress during breaking moves. Breaking moves. A lot of milk thoughts. Breaking moves. Henry Lockwood in a clean sweep has defeated Zach in the Mount Rushmore duel. Hank, congratulations. There will be no punishment for you. Zach, there will be a punishment for you. We still haven't decided it. I actually was thinking about it, PFT. And this is Hank, I would have done the same punishment for you. I think Zach should have to fly to a city and take a random girl out on a date. That sounds. Yeah, maybe like what city's been in the news a lot today. Oh, the clippers. So where are they playing? L.A.? Yeah. Yeah, I deserve to get punched. There's a bad showing today. Hank absolutely Bo raised me. Dude, that was so bad. Was it? What were the actual final clean sweep? I thought maybe you had a name. I thought names. You had a chance at the Hammond crew didn't. Hammond crew was not, it was not there for you, Zach. Brutal. In the Mount Rushmore of dumb things you think, Hank won 57% in the Mount Rushmore of worst lines to wait in, Hank won 79.9%, which that was we predicted that. And then Mount Rushmore names Hank won 68.2%. Pretty convincing sweep. Yeah. Do you have it? Oh, Zach. What? That's not how you spell defonte. You, you approved that spelling. Yeah, I'm never here. I'm, I probably won't be a guy who tries to get at somebody else's spelling. I just let it roll. Okay. All right, that might have, that might have cost you a percentage. You still would have lost. Yeah, I still would have got absolutely shit pumped. Do you remember Zach approved that? Well, here's the bad part about it. He approved DEV from the guy that does the best A's in the business. Yeah. You could have it. You could have turned down one of Shane's A's. Yeah. Tiger being on there and still winning by overwhelming majority is very funny. Feels good. Uh, I do, it does feel bad, you know, because me and Zach were partners this year. Oh, yeah, that's true. That was actually fitting. You guys were the worst team. But I, I, if I'm not going to do the date, obviously, but if Zach, the punishment ends up being some type of stream or something, I, I will, I'll commit the half. All right. I'm looking at Zach's Mount Rushmore here. It's got right in the middle. Muhammad and Drew. And Zach, nobody's ever drew Muhammad and gotten away with it. Oh, Zach, way to be in the Colosseum today, Hank, your hell of an opponent. Yeah. Do you have any message out there for either the haters that said, Hank couldn't do it or maybe the people that have supported Hank throughout the, uh, the last couple shows? No, I mean, uh, the, the haters were right. I'm, um, it's, it's become clear to me. I'm not creating Mount Rushmore, but we didn't come in last. That's the goal. It's not about coming in first. It's about not coming in last. So we accomplished our goal. And we now, we got time to reboot and get in the lab and then continue with this momentum going into next year. I'm going to be the freshest next year. Why the freshest? Because you got, or like, I'm going to be the most, most, uh, the freshest, the freshest. I'm going to be, you guys are going to be the, I'm going to be the least rusty. Okay. Yeah. But you're not going to be fresh. You're going to be maybe worn out from the long postings. Yeah. No, least rusty. Like you had, I've been, I've been taking care of my body for three weeks now. And you, you're just getting to the off season. Right. So I'll be, I'll be tuned up, ready to go. Yeah. I don't think that's going to take you a few Mount Rushmore to get, to get warmed up. Got it. Got it. We'll come up with something, some different shit for next year. We got to, I had a couple of ideas today. Yeah. I also got a bunch of like really good submissions today when I asked online. So, well, Zach, maybe farm the, my mentions for that. I can do that. Yes, sir. There's a lot. Definitely safe for next year. Wanted to do the Mount Rushmore tricks, but I think that would have been tough for you guys off, off the top of your head. Uh, when you go to a massage place by **** my video on there. Absolute oaky dog, 1080. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Statue of 20. Got your nose. Fumble, Fumble, Rusky. Yeah. Got your nose. Good one. Rabbit out of hat. Yeah. Oh, sleep flicker. Oh, it's just in general. Yeah. You got some of my shirt. Oh, I must fell for that right now. Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, she's untied. Uh, Hank, your firefasts. Yeah, this is a, Wednesday, we talked about the grudge match. I put Big Cat Whitney and Dave on my hot seat. Three versus three scramble. You're pretty confident. I was confident. I was, I was, I was trying to just drum up, you know, drumming up. I was, I was confident, but like I was, I was trying to, I was trying to, you know, promote the grudge because there wasn't really a grudge otherwise. No, it was very weird to have a grudge match against you my best for us. Speak for yourself. Yeah, so I was, I was just trying to, you know, get, get some, get some chatter going to get some, get some, some tension rising, thinking it was going to be a close match. I switched to lefty thinking and this was like the perfect time. Like I was like by the time, you know, end of the summer, like I should be in a good spot. Lefty, that was the goal going into it. Yesterday, I had the chance to prove it, a chance to get an auto invite to the invitation next year. And if we lost, I'm not in for 10 years. And, and we just got put race. I played horrible. It was, it was a bad showing. We missed, I think we missed on five holes. We missed puts that were less than 10 feet. I think all three of us, I think we missed nine in a row, seven foot butts. Yeah, so it was, it was, it was bad. I was in a bad place last night. I've woken up and just realized it's not that serious and life moves on, but I was, I was, I was, I was down bad. You're down bad. You're down really bad. I have a question for you, Hank. Yeah. What do you say to the haters that are saying that they were right? Right about what? Just you sucking a golf. I don't do better at golf. I see you play golf. You don't suck. Yeah, but on camera, I'm horrible. That, that's just like that's, that's, there's four or five years straight of evidence of that where it's like I play much worse than I can play or have put off camera. That's something I got to deal with. And I also think it's probably true that I should be better at golf or how much golf I play. I don't even, I can't, I wish I could defend that fact. But we've gotten in and for, you know, first few months, I'm like, I just started playing lefty, but like I've now played enough rounds, practiced enough. Like I should be, I should have advanced more than I have. So it's like that, that's true. That's just something I gotta, I gotta. So the haters are right. You could say, yeah, I don't know. It's okay. Sometimes it's like, hey, guess what? Haters, you got it right. Yeah. But this is the, the doubters. It's not the end of the story. No, it's not the end of the story. You just begin motivation. Yeah, start a championship. You have 10 years to get good enough to be an invitation. It's the end of one chapter. I still think that we should appeal, uh, Dave's, no invite to the invitation over 10 years. And as a lefty, your band, but as a righty, who's to say? Yeah, that's a different person. Right. But also the, the, the thing that I realized too, which is like, I, I, based on how I played yesterday, like if I had played an invitation and did that, I would be 20. That would be much worse than losing, you know, the grudge match. Yeah. So, uh, and that's what would have happened. Yeah. In the grudge match, it was very funny because going back and watching it, only two balls got pulled out of a cup for the entire game. And one was a, a long chip in by Whitney. I think Whit made another part or somebody made another part. Maybe it was Dave, but only two times did the ball go into the whole. Uh, the parts that we missed, we should have made at least two of them. Got to make two out of those three. The one that you guys all missed the exact same way. That was the, that was where it was like, 'cause I kept on saying, watch it back. It's tricky, tricky pin location, tricky pin location. As much as there's a grudge match, people will, uh, be shocked to hear this. I, I didn't have any animosity towards the team we were playing. And I kept on saying when we get to the cart, like, Dave kept on saying, Hey, the, the match is over. The match is over. I was like, no, no, they're going to make a putt. They're going to make a putt. And Dave just kept saying, no, they're not. They suck. And he turned out to be correct on that day. Letting down coach Groen too. is probably the worst part. Like there's no one that you wanna perform for better, like kind of step up and in a big moment and show you can be someone and to just time and time again not do that. And he's a lot older than us and we were like relying on him so much. That hurt the most. PFT, I've let down before I let down again. Like coach Groot and that hurts. - It does hurt. And watching, it's very mean that we've just had a replay of all the mispucks cycling this entire time. We've talked about it. - I thought it was one, at one point I thought it was like the same cup repiles. I know, these are different holes. - It was also 135 degrees. - There are a couple very funny mispots where the ball, it's going in and then it almost like develops a mind. It puts a juke move on the hole. He goes, "What?" - Yeah. Shout out to Streamzong though. Unbelievable. - Bonyard. - Unbelievable course. Unbelievable spot. Zach. - Crazy. - Zach County Florida. - Yeah. Again, sorry Zach. Probably should have taken you. - No good. - Literally in your house. - My buddy sort of hank a beer yesterday and he's a drink yesterday and he said, there's nothing behind those eyes. - Oh. - Oh, that was after. Yeah, that was before we got on the flight. Yeah, I was down bad. - Yeah, that's bad spot. - It's okay. We move on. We turn the page. - Hey, thanks. - It was so bad. - In the card of the plate he goes, "I gotta re-evaluate everything." (laughing) - Yeah. - I was like, "Hey, it's okay." He's like, "I have to re-evaluate everything." - I was having a full blown identity crisis 'cause I played bad golf and then I kinda woke up today. I was like, "Just chill out." - That was an over yet. - Yeah, you played bad golf on camera. - Yeah. - So what? - Yeah. - We built. - We all suck. - That's the thing. - No, we need so good. - We need so good. - We need so good. - Hey, Groot was good too. We just gave him nothing. - Yeah. - Yeah. - One day though, grudge match. - It was. - Can't wait for grudge match, too. - I don't know. I don't think Dave's gonna be involved grudge match. - Nope. - I think it's called grudge match because now afterwards, we have a grudge. Now we have to settle it. - Yeah. - Against the game of golf. - Yeah. - Okay. - We should invent some sort of scoring system where Hank, you don't compete against anybody. You just compete against whatever like the score should be. - Yeah, you like, of course. - You log it and try to get that. - We try to beat that. - Yeah. - Grudge. - On. - Tomorrow. - Back. - Back. - Yeah. - You gotta get back on that horse. - One thing about Hank. - You can't be thinking about getting bucked. - One bad golf outing. It's not gonna stop 'em from golfing. He's gonna get back on that horse. - Yeah, that's the only way out. - You got it. - The only way out is through. - The only way out. - I gotta conquer my demons, baton in. - Yeah. - Okay. - I mean, it's a good fight for us. - Similar. It's basically Hank and I had a shared fire fest this week, which is getting beaten golf on camera. And it's not fun. - No. - Yeah, we ran through that. It's, it was more of a mental game because you just start doing the math and you say, it's not over yet. - Well. - The rules also made it impossible for it to ever end. I think there was one point where we were, - You were up six, or up six with five to go. And it wasn't over. - I think we were up five with three to go. And it wasn't over yet. - I was like, what the fuck is happening? We were up seven with four to go at one point and then up five with three to go. I was like, this, we're just never getting out of this. - It quite literally could have been. It would have been the biggest comeback in the history of golf. - Yeah. - Because nobody else has ever been down seven with four four to go, yeah. And then pulled that off. So yeah, it was, you know, missed opportunity. But again, Hank, it's one round to go. There's always more golf. - Yeah. - Always more. - Always more golf. But yeah, that's pretty much it. The other Fire Fest was from last week where it was right after we recorded the show that I engaged in violence against a coworker. And I'd like to apologize to say coworker for that. We moved on as a friend, we shook hands. But every man has a line that you can't cross. My line is two eggs. Throw one egg at me. - I'll turn the, I'll turn the cheek. - And, they got me this is fine. Like we can talk shit. Yeah. - Well, if you throw one egg at me, I will turn my cheek. If you throw two eggs, I've run out of cheeks to turn. - I also miss, you know. - I was, so we're talking about campar stool, PFT, body ink, Rico. Great, great push. I went to Saratoga right after and Dave asked me, he was like, was that real anger? I said, here's the thing, the camera saw two eggs. What the camera didn't see was three nights of Rico snoring, sleep talking, farting, not saying that like we disliked him, but it will push a man to their edge. I said, we're basically like POWs in that cabin with him. By day three, you're like, you're seeing shit and you don't know what's going on. - Rico got fragged. - Yeah, no, it was more like the egg all over my legs. And so the second egg, I did, there was anger behind it. Yes, but only in those like two seconds, I kind of blacked out. I didn't even think about it as I was running up to him. Some people online were like a cheap shot because Rico turned his back. - I think that you, there's no such thing as a cheap shot if you throw two eggs at somebody and then you turn around. - Coward move by Rico to turn around. - I would say that. - I would never say that. - We're riders. - I just, I blacked out and then I hit the guy and then now we're friends. - Shout out logs. - It was a pretty good hit if I do say so much. - It was nice. - The human body craves contact and I haven't hit a guy like that since I retired from rugby in 2015, it feels good. - Yeah. - Yeah. - All right, my fire press kind of related to the Grudge match, which, you know, listen, it was fun going out there. We love Draft Kings. We get paid to go golf with our friends, but the one downside of it was we were gone on Wednesday, got back Wednesday night and I missed the Pugs winning a championship, which I'm really using this as a vehicle, memes, Shane, congratulations. What a night, they not only won a championship, but beat quack and balls on the way there and beat them with a walkoff. Fuck yes, boys. - Congrats. - I'm so, I was getting those texts and I was just like, fuck man, I wish I had been there because it seemed like the best night. Three games, memes, more say anything. You're barely walking today. Memes do it a little extra limp in front of me to let me know like, hey, you know, like I played three games so all the last night, which he deserves. - Yeah, that's like the fastest I've ran in the championship game like in a while. - I left it all out in the field. - I love it. - The thing about memes is he does, memes moves quickly when he has to. - Yeah, Pugs finished, I think. - This is like Mr. Miyagi. - 14 and three in the summer. We had two seasons, 14 and three overall. - It really 14 and two. We had to forfeit the semi-finals in the spring because there was a million rain outs and it was during vacation week. - Ah, yeah, that's right. - I think I do have to start asking about Max and Big Cat. - Yes, sure. - I wasn't there. - What should we ask? - Just like, I don't know, look at the salaries, look at everything going into next year and it's like, is this so? - Well, I'm a negative salary 'cause I pay for the league, but yeah, okay. - So you're saying that if a really good team, if they won a championship and they had one player that was out and then other players stepped up and like won MVP, then they should then get rid of the player that was out. - Fair. - I'm just saying, do you start asking questions? - It kills me I wasn't there. - I'm not on the team next year, I totally understand. We're all champions though, we're. - No, I didn't, I didn't play in any losses this year either. - True. - So I think I probably was like, eat, know, or something, but yeah, that sucked. That sucked. - It was, I mean, I played in part one of the summer, I didn't play in part two, but I was like, damn. Like I, I-- - It looked awesome. - I wish I was there, it looked awesome. Three games. - Three games. - Super hot night, like the boys battling, congrats to the pugs, incredible, incredible seats. - What was the celebration like? - Oh man. - Celebration was good, we just did one round 'cause it was super late. - Yeah, it was like 11 o'clock. - I heard you almost passed out in the bar, memes. - I did, I was wearing two shirts, it was 100 degrees. - Jesus, memes. - You got us, why were you wearing two shirts? - Titties. - Titties. - The titties and the, it was the championship shirt. So I had that on over the pugs shirt. - That's cool. - Maybe a banner? - I feel like you should just, I said this earlier, like get us, get us just a picture of Pug. - Yeah. - And hang it in the rafters. - Mm-hmm, let's get some rings. - It was three super competitive games though, one the first game by one. We had an hour break in between, so we got that watch with the cock and balls. First game, we thought we were gonna get smoked. They were all wearing cutoffs, probably take steroids. Like they demolished the team before, one by 20. We end up walking them off, one by one, and then championship game, we ended up run rolling. - Oh, that's the best. It was like, they-- - It wasn't even a non-competitive championship game, so you could like, really enjoy it. - No, it was super competitive. - Oh, wait, until the fourth inning. - Oh, okay, yeah. - Their pitcher hit a Grand Slam, put it up three, like they were going nuts, and then bottom of the inning, we hit a Grand Slam, then we started going nuts, and then we rallied from there. - Fuck yes. - Was there a celebration of the field? Dog pile? - Yeah, we were just chaining ricks. - Nice. - The strip club in Chicago. We were promised by our coach Quiggs that he would take us there. - Yeah. - If we won. - I'll pay for it. - And did he? - He did not. - Wow. - But he could be said, he could just pay for it around. - Shane, how'd you play? - The whole squad played great. - Fuck. - This is probably the oldest I've ever felt, is the-- - That's the oldest-- - That you've ever been. - Yeah, well true, but like, I don't-- My body's no longer meant for the triple header, and 95 degree heat. It was, I'm really. hurt and bolt up and bolt it up still sounds like your lesson bolt that the the break in between games in that he that's like your body shuts down yeah and then you have to get loose again I guess it should be I as much as I was like I had such intense FOMO and was sad I wasn't there I should probably be a little happy because I think there's a 95% chance I would have got in injury right as the oldest guy on the team by far I would have I think my body would not have been able to handle that probably there are a lot of injuries because like when we went to camp we played three games in a row and I was sore for a week that wasn't a break and also camp wasn't as like competitive in the three games we played there are probably four hamstring injuries and two other ankle injuries so you may have dodgeable it yeah there's nothing better than getting out there with the boys nothing like it's the injuries suck when you get older but it's still worth it to get out there and have some fun with the guys war wounds yeah I do wish everyone was there though I know I felt I felt bad yeah texting afterwards no I loved it I was living vicariously through you guys it's Jack McCarthy's fault yeah he decided to do the grudge match on a Wednesday knowing we have softball and like I think I think I think I got home after the first game and I was like I can't show up mid playoffs to like you guys playing that would be weird so good job congrats pugs pugs I'm gonna get it I'm gonna get a ring and I'll I'll put it in my closet and never wear it because like I don't want someone to see me wearing the ring and be like oh how the championship game go like well grudge match you don't you don't understand you know I still think a banner is the way to go yeah it should be celebrate we should look back on this agreed uh Zach finished off my favorite is just what he can't say that you know he doesn't like that my bad he's about to walk out it's just uh Zach you want to do a happy ending on the show I got you my purpose of this week is just that I mentally crumbled in this duel today and not only the duel really just as soon as we went one the one the one the one I'm out rush more season uh you are so bad dude it was there is disgusting if you guys decide that you will have me for next season I'm gonna in this off season I'm gonna have to just get to it yeah well how would you get to it uh just top fours just rip and top fours yeah daily top four just get the zone Zach I I don't want to say I don't want to throw out any uh maybe malfeasance that was going on with the polls but I do think the AWS wanted to see a tool and you might not have like retroactively the Monday and Wednesday you might not have your strongest effort either I mean it was just oh yeah it should be one be one mental midget yeah and I my decisive making powers are not very strong I had better picks on the list some rounds and I just go I just over and over again pick a worse or worse is not a word a bad pick it's like you almost need like a you need a partner yeah tell me these things I think next year we at least have like decent idea of teams like if we wanted if we did teams right now that were fair it would probably be you and Max Zach and Max probably PFT and memes and me and Hank and that would be fair so we we can at least start from a fair point hmm I'm worried I still have bad picks in me I would think I may go home this weekend and just dump them all out just just brainstorm all the bad picks out could you treat those please I can so don't tweet what the rush more is just the picks just tweet all your bad picks I can do that with no context I gotta get them out of just a full list of all your bad picks no context of what they go to and we'll guess actually know what let's do this on to on Monday on Tuesday show I actually think it'd be funny if like people sent you the Mount Rushmore's that they want you to do and you do just custom Mount Rushmore for people publicly and show how bad your picks can be like wrap and fire one but I want I want so by the way I think everyone knows we've been doing this schedule forever but two next week there's show Tuesday Wednesday Friday because we have Memorial Day we're gonna do a lot of college or the Labor Day we do a lot of college football on Tuesday Wednesday we'll get ready for NFL Friday regular NFL preview for week one Zach so do what PFT said but also before you have people because that will happen on Friday when people will hear this before Friday I want you to make a list of all your bad picks and then on month when we take on Monday night you'll read us the bad picks we'll have to guess where they go to what Mount Rushmore they go to and these picks are on the future so could be good picks yeah I'm probably not so I'll start out there yeah just make a list of like 30 picks and we'll decide what the Mount Rushmore is okay so for one do 30 like give us one bad pick right now yeah elephant Titus okay Mount Rushmore of things that you don't want to get yes pick though right yeah kind of I think that's a disease does anyone even get that yeah you have to be in like a tough country but yeah you don't want it actually actually knowing how bad Zach is although it would have been it would have been the Mount Rushmore of Titus's so Mark would have gone one yeah and then Zach would have gone elephant Titus that's good one's global one's not Mark Titus yeah he's pretty global yeah I was talking Mark now yeah yeah yeah yeah Mount Rushmore of Titus's Derma you would have fucked that up one more one more another Titus you know another pick oh another pick bad pick we'll go with uh scream three okay Mount Rushmore of Jerry O'Connell movies yes okay that's really the only thing that movies Mount Rushmore of trilogies no one watched it yes okay oh wait so they're which which topic were you doing when you said scream three I was I had Jerry on the brain but we can pivot to trilogies if it's a better paper trilogies that's good that I guess our pattern stats already showing proven willing to change Mount Rushmore of verbs and numbers uh what's on the Mount Rushmore of numbers zero through a hundred but you can only pick one of them uh ten and then seven 99 55 okay okay which one's your pick I'm gonna go with uh 55 okay I'll go three five 99 uh let me go eight 15 I don't take Jerry O'Connell's and scream three oh really what's the end I think he's in the first screen this is scream one that's why he burned the bad picks yeah scream 69 oh 23 so so it was my Mount Rushmore it was verbs and numbers so like the first pick would have been jump 23 then he would have gone with scream three wait what the Mount Rushmore would exact just did yeah he did that was the Mount Rushmore he did scream three okay yeah yeah see what I'm saying that would be the Mount Rushmore of verbs combined with numbers guys you said scream three blank 182 yeah right that would have been a good one yeah exactly yeah exactly so we're ready 39 did he want it you want anyone shot Danny Wooden he was actually watching the Gruntwin matches yeah probably very you'll probably never come on the show again after you saw how bad we got a little down yeah we got to get him on the show yeah we got 72 no one no happy labor date all the moms out there and happy birthday to Montez sweat happy birthday to Mike Piazza not gay per his press conference that he called happy birthday to Beyonce and Anthony Weiner happy birthday to Bubba Liam big Bubba happy birthday buddy happy birthday to Mac Jones I birthday to Lance Stevenson and happy birthday to my good friend and I'll be celebrating with them on Saturday Jack Daniel love you guys yeah 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc. 1/2 tbc sdmdc.