Stars, Stripes & Swingers

As you know, I'm Jennifer Welch, the co-host of I've Had It and IHIP News, and my new book is out called Not Today Fascist. You know, the Trump regime says, don't call us fascists. Of course, I put that word directly in the title of the book. This book is about what's happening right now in America, the rise of theocracy and fascism. We're watching the wall between church and state crumble before our very eyes. This book is a warning, but it is also a fight for human decency, for equality, and for the country that we believe in because everything that MAGA hates, I love. I love multiculturalism. I want to fight for marginalized groups and I want to fight for this country. So join me and go grab your copy of Not Today Fascist. It's available now. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, all of the people that oppose fascism, that oppose MAGA, that oppose stupidity, and that are basically cool. We love you. And all of the triple Trumpers, the idiots, the stupid people, to quote, what was it Pete Hexer said? So bad. The fatties, the trainees. Is he disrespecting Donald Trump and eliminating. Trump and eliminating him from the military? What can Pete Hexer do, Pumps? Oh my God. Pete Hexer can go fuck himself and fuck all. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is, I've probably brought this up before, but when you are somewhere where you kind of know who the person is, but you can't place them. And you walk up and say, hi, Angie Sullivan. The response is not like, oh, it's good to see you, or hello. The response is, hi, Jennifer Welch. It's a reminder of your name. If I'm giving you my name, it's a signal. And just, I can't stand it. And another thing I can't stand, which is in the same, I want to judge you on the firmness of your handshake. So I want you to tell me your name and I want to be able to judge you immediately, whether I think you suck or I think you're cool. And that's my, that's my first thing that I go to is the handshake. This happened to me recently over and over and over again. And I was like, nobody respects the social contract anymore. I've had it. If I say Angie Sullivan, that is a clue that I don't know your name and you need to reciprocate. And that's where I am with that. Was the person who didn't reciprocate also did the handshake? I did a couple handshakes and a couple non-handshakes, depending on the familiarity that I was supposed to have with the person. The most recent handshake that you had, was it a man? The most recent? Where you were talking about it was a bad handshake. I'm trying to connect these two. So you walk up to somebody and you say, hi, Angie Olson. They have- Angie Olson? Or Sullivan. I mean, you were- Angie Olson. Angie Olson. Angie Olson for longer than I've known you than you were Sullivan. And put your hand out. And was this person that didn't give you their name, did they give you a bad handshake? Not the last person that I have had. I probably had five handshakes that night. And I would say three were excellent handshakes. I was like, great. One was soft and immediately flaccid. And I was like, okay, I'd never want to see this person again. And then there was one that was probably over-firm, but I don't judge for over-firm necessarily, unless it's super over-firm. I had a really bad handshake at Parents Weekend in California. Yeah. And it was a guy. It was a dad. And I put my arm out. I'm Jennifer Welch. He puts his out. And I was so shocked by the grip because he was 6'3". He's 6'4". Not slight, not obese or anything like that. I would say average weight for the height. And I was just as shocked as I'll get out. It was a limp dick handshake, which we've covered here before. But I'm always surprised. How did he get that far in life with that handshake? And so I'm asking the scientists to do a study. Do people who have good handshakes make eye contact when they handshake? Do they go further in life than those that have a limp dick handshake? I'm just curious to see the data behind it, because I would think that if you don't have a great handshake, I'm probably, if I'm doing business deals, I'm going to think, I don't trust that handshake. One million percent. And what about the people that love him when they shake hands? I mean, why won't they say, that's a pussy handshake? Here's the problem. We don't shake hands, Angie. So I don't know what kind of handshake you're out there giving in the world, because we already know each other. So the people that love you don't shake your hand. So they are not weighing in on this. Kylie sitting right over here. I don't know if I've ever shaken her hand. She could be out there giving limp dick, horrible handshakes that represent the LGBTQ plus where she's making more enemies than she is allies. I wouldn't know to advise her either way on it, because I don't shake her hand. Maybe we could start saying real friends do handshake check-ins. Twice annually. Let's just shake hands. Twice annually. I think that's a brilliant idea, because for me, I'm like you, the minute I get a limp dick handshake, I have a judgment on that person. I do too. I'm sexist about this, especially if it's a man. I hold them to a higher standard on the shake. Now, listen, if a woman gives me some just dainty handshake, I hate that. She gets judged as well. But I am, I, I, especially, this man that I met that was like six foot four. I was just like, how has he gotten this far in life? How is he even standing in front of me? How? Who hired him? Right. I don't know. Maybe he's a trust fund baby or inheritance or something. I don't know. Immediately. He must be. There's no way. There's no way somebody would do business with him consistently because the handshake would send me like, this guy can't grip a hand. Therefore, I'm not doing business with him. I completely agree. Totally agree. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with politicians that feel the need to wear an American flag pin on their suit. Yeah. I think it's stupid. It's stupid. I think all of that performative shit. I want the next president and the next Congress and Senate to say, we're not going to show you with some stupid for performative pin that we like America. We're going to show you with our legislation. We're going to show you by not protecting pedophiles. We're going to show you by tax increases on these billionaires that have been torturing everybody. We're going to show you we love America by prosecuting, defunding ICE, then prosecuting ICE. We're going to show you we love America by hauling every single person with the last name T-R-U-M-P in front of every organization we can possibly imagine. And so I just, I'm sick of that shit. I saw Trump, I saw him, you know, out and about in the world as you do on your phone and places, you know, he's just, he's ballooned up for one. He's as swollen as a bubble tick. And then he had on that little, he had his little American pin. And I just thought, you know, that's so important to Republicans. That just, it doesn't mean anything. It means absolutely nothing. If you put that pin on, it means nothing. And those little things are so important to him. So I want Democrats that run on a platform of we're not going to do performative patriotism. We're going to show you. I love that idea. Okay. What do you think about this? Remember when everybody, when he first got sworn in for Trump 2.0, they were wearing the Trump head pins. Yeah. Haven't seen those in a while. Those, there was a run on those in the beginning, but I don't see those as much. It's just, I mean, there's these Republican men and their obsession with him. It's weird. It's weird. I mean, especially since Trump's all but come out as bisexual. I mean, there's just, for me, there's nothing that could convince me otherwise. Trump 2.0 all I'm seeing is a bisexual horny man who goes on and on and on and on about how hot men are. And he says, I'm not allowed to say if men are attractive, if women are attractive, because that could ruin my political career. Look at this strong guy over here. I want to kiss him on the mouth. Look at this hot guy over there. And so I think it's, you know, I don't know. It's interesting that he's so overtly bisexual. And then all of these anti-LGBTQ plus Trump supporters, I guess it's a strange allyship. But, you know, they really support their bisexual president, which I do. I support bisexuality. I just do not support this president. I don't know about you guys, but variety is the spice of life for me, especially when it comes to workouts. I do not like to do the same workout, the same workout class all of the time. I need to mix it up. I need to do something different every single time I work out. And that's why I have been using the Ladder app, a complete game changer. Ladder is an expert. strength training plan, not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges. It's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. It feels like you have a coach right there with you in the room. In-air coaching guides you through every set with cues, form reminders, and of course, motivation. The Ladder app has Pilates, bodybuilding, at-home dumbbell only, hybrid strength, glute focused programs, kettlebells, pre and postnatal, whether you train at home or the gym, there is a plan for you. And the thing is about me, sometimes I do it both places. Sometimes I do it at the gym. Sometimes I don't have time to go to the gym. So I crank out a workout on my Ladder app at home. And it also includes nutrition tracking at no extra cost. So listener, remove the guesswork with Ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit slash had it and take a quick quiz to find your perfect Ladder plan. Use my link to get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. All right, welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie is here. Kylie. Hi, I'm Kylie. I have a very firm handshake. Oh, good. I'm going to check that. I take it really seriously. And one of my had it's kind of piggybacks off yours. I've had it with men that don't shake women's hands the same that they would another man. I had so many business things I go to and they shake everyone's like normal and they get to me. I was the only woman in the room and they do this weird little thing like they're going to hurt me. I can't stand it. Oh, that's sexist. Do you are you sure they're giving a good handshake to the men? Maybe they just have horrible handshakes. That's a good argument. OK, I have exciting stuff today. I'm ready. We've done Gen Z. The millennials have clocked in. Oh, yay. I've got two videos from them and then we're going to get on to the penny loafer situation. Oh, good. Excellent. So here's Crystal at first. Hi, Kylie. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Pumps. Hi, everyone. My name is. Crystal, I'm a millennial 529 1990 Gemini birthday got HPV from a guy named Sean in 2018. It's cleared up now. Millennials feel the exact same about socks as Gen X. We have been bullied into compliance, but we don't understand it. We don't love it. All of my socks are now crew socks because I gave into peer pressure. I think I have one emergency pair of no show. I just appreciate your boots on the ground journalism because I've considered the lacy frilly socks, but I thought at age 36, it was pushing it. But I think if pumps can do it at her band stage, then I'm just going to go for it. Thank you. Love you. Crystal, this is great reporting. And, you know, Sean in 2018, that HPV dust up. But kudos to you for being an HPV survivor as we also try to normalize STD survivorship on this podcast. I really, it's really interesting, the sock thing. And it all goes back to the Gen Z. Like, they're like, okay, you're not going to pay us any wages. You fucked up the planet. You won't listen to us on anything. So we're going to bully the F out of every single one of you about these socks. And I'm just glad it's not just, I mean, like everybody feels it. It's not isolated. I mean, they're going after every single person. I do want to report, I found the cutest pair of the, they're not lacy, but they're kind of tuliped on the end. And I went and got, I went ahead and got them. Oh, good. Are you wearing them today? No, I don't have them yet, but I found them and I was like, you know, I'm going to do it. I'm just going to do it. What are you going to wear them with? A skirt? Shorts? I mean, what are you going to pair these with? Well, I'll probably wear, well, no, I'm sure I'll wear them with to the gym or something or with jeans. This is where I disagree about things. There are just socks that are gym socks. And then there are clothes socks. Yeah. I, I always wear. I wear no show to the gym. I have a couple pair of Curry socks that I wear, like if it's super cold outside, but I don't really have any places that I go that show my let, I mean, like that you could see the top of the sock at right in the winter. So I'm thinking I'll just wear them to the gym for a while. Just kind of free ball it. So you're going to wear dress socks to the gym and cross contaminate. Well, they're not necessarily dress socks. So it's just tuliped on the top. Are they exercise socks? Well, no, not, no, they're not exercise socks. I wouldn't say I just, I didn't just realize that about myself when you said you were going to wear kind of a fashion sock to the gym. I had this like recoil, like, well, no, you have to wear exercise socks that you purchase at Viorey or all or, you know, in the exercise section. And why do I give a shit? But I literally have, I have a box in, okay. So in my sock drawer, I have two like boxes. One is for like work socks or, you know, dress socks. And the other one is exclusively for workout slash tennis slash pickleball. And they're separated into two different containers within a drawer. And I can't, I can't cross contaminate these, this situation. No. That's kind of fucked up. Why do I care? But I create, I didn't, I've never even really verbalized that before, but I have this world where in socks can't be like, I can't wear a day sock that I would wear with a suit when I'm on podcasting. I can't wear that sock to the gym. See, I, I can, I think. I admire it. I haven't tried it, but you know, when you were talking about your socks being separated, like athletic socks and other socks, I got really jealous because mine are all lumped in in one drawer. They're not separated. I keep that shit tight. My sock drawer is, it's a tight ship. Do you have a lot of single socks? No, I don't tolerate that. You just throw them away? No, I just don't. I do not. I do not. I do not lose socks anymore. I, I, I have opted out of that. What's happened is I, I no longer live with the children because they've moved on. And Josh and I only live together part-time when he comes to New York and he has his own laundry basket for his own dirty clothes that's separate from my laundry basket. I do my laundry and he does his laundry. And since I no longer commingle these things, I no longer have these issues. I no longer have kidnapped. I no longer have kidnapped an orphaned sock situation that has been eliminated. And I also have something else to report. Many, many, many episodes ago, maybe even like a couple of years ago, I reported that I'd had it with somebody in my house throwing silverware away. Since I pretty much, for the most part, live on my own in New York City, I have noticed that none of my silverware is missing up here. None of it. None. My children and my husband said, I don't have any silverware. And I said, we're not doing it. What do you think? We're throwing silverware away, mom? And I was like, yeah, I actually do. I actually do think you're throwing forks away because I don't know where they're going. They're not growing legs and walking the fuck out the front door, smart asses. I know that's not happening. So I know somebody's throwing them away. And I think it's you guys. I think it's your dad or one of you two. They call it, you're crazy. You're unhinged. You're a psycho. Well, now I have one year, 365 days of not living with these people. And I'm not missing one thing. Yep. And interestingly, I'm not living with these people. Interestingly, when Josh was in town last time, we received a text message from Anna, who works for me, who coincidentally is the girlfriend of Kylie, but I regress. Anna texts a picture and it says, I just found these in the trash. And it was a picture of Apple AirPods. And Josh responds, oh my gosh, I was looking for them everywhere this morning. Thank you. Please. I pulled them out and put on top of the island. So in piecing this entire story together, I feel very vindicated and exonerated from Fort Gate. And I am now 100% convinced that it was the male members of the Welch family that arbitrarily and lazily throw away utensils because I no longer have this problem. I no longer have missing socks problems. All of that's gone. Gone. God, so nice. I had lots of silverware missing when my kids were all around. No, I don't have any silverware. I mean, it doesn't get thrown away, but my kids will sometimes want to do their laundry and I let mine in. And that's a great point. I just need to always keep it just like, nope. I don't want my dirty clothes touching anybody else's dirty clothes. I don't want my clean clothes touching anybody else's clean clothes. I think it's policy. It's much better. It's just, there's no reason for clothes. Fucking in the washer and dryer. There's no, no reason. No reason. No. And I'm just thinking about when I do my own laundry and it's just mine, I never lose a sock. So you're right. Everything. Yeah. It's the kids. It's always the kids. Always. Yeah. Okay. I've got another submission from Mikey. Oh, hello. It's me. An aging millennial in my last year of my thirties to talk about the sock debacle. Funny. You ladies bring this up because I recently YouTubed how to wear socks without looking like an oldie. As you can see, or as you can't see, I typically a no-show. But apparently this is what you're supposed to be wearing. And you can't just wear it like this. You can't just wear it like this. No, no. You have to actually bunch it down apparently. Like that. It's not just socks. I worked out with a Gen Z and he said, you know how I can tell you're old? Your shoes. I'll show you the shoes I was wearing. According to the demon twink I was working out with, these shoes are old people's shoes. But as this young generation likes to say, are we cooked, chat? I have no idea what that means. I don't know what I just said, but I do know that I love you guys. Oh, I love that. That's awesome. Video. Kylie, thank you for sharing. Thank you for sending that in. I love that. I'm just going to say, Gen X is the one that put on the crew socks and bunched them down back when we were younger. That's what we did. That's not new. They stole. Gen Z is stealing from us and then bullying. And I can't do it. Bullying about it. I love that the demon twink. I work out with. And they are, they're out here bullying everybody. I like it. Because you know what? We've taken everything from them. They have nothing. They have nothing. They live with their parents. They can't get planets. You know, summers are getting hotter and hotter. They can't get jobs. They have Trump. That Trump has been in their life for half of their life. They've had to deal with him. They've had to deal with helicopter mothers that didn't prepare them for the real world. And yeah, I support Gen Z bullying. They need an outlet. So we need to be that. Yeah. I also kind of like getting bullied. You do. And bossed around. I do. I like to get bossed around. I love it. I'm just like, if some Gen Z came in here and like started bossing me around and bullied me a little bit, like I'm into that. That's a brass. I like it. I'm in. Keep coming. Keep coming at me. All right, ladies, I don't know about you, but oftentimes I get up for the day. I'm dressed in my podcasting outfit. I take my gym clothes to work with me. A lot of times I forget a sports bra. So the bra I have on, I have to wear all day long. And my God, so many of them are so incredibly uncomfortable, just a nuisance to have on. All of that has changed for me because I've now discovered Honeylove. Specifically, they have a new introduction. It's called the X Balance Bra. And I can tell you right now, huge difference. It's wireless, but it's actually supportive. Real hold without that cutting underwire. The lift and separation, thanks to the Signature X design at the center is incredible because the bra is a little bit more comfortable than the normal bra. And I can tell you right now, the X Balance Bra is a little bit more comfortable than the normal one. So if you want a full refresh on your top drawer, you can get huge savings by buying three at once. Listener, treat yourself to the most advanced bras and sleepwear on the market. Use our products at Honeylove.com. Our exclusive link to save 20% off Honeylove at Honeylove.com/HatIt. That's Honeylove.com/HatIt. And after you check out, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Experience the new standard in comfort and support with Honeylove. Okay, do you guys want some penny loafer updates? Yes, yes. So this is a DM I got from David. He said, "I wasn't sure if I should send this to you or I've had it. My husband, Phillip, got these bad boys, which is a photo of loafers, off our fave bidding site and he put them on this morning and I said, 'Are those penny loafers? I need a pick with pennies now.'" Love, love, love, love, love. David, that's what we used to do right there. We put pennies in them. Exactly. Kylie, did you ever see that or remember that or are you way too young? Like my dad, I feel like, at the bank, he had a penny loafer. We've got one more video. We've got one more video about penny loafers and it's raising a concern I didn't know existed from Canada. Hello, all. Canadian Gen Z watcher, listener, avid listener. Currently STD-free. I fucking had it with men. I was, although recently, accused of giving someone gonorrhea, although that was not possible because I was celibate for six months. I even called my ex and asked if I'd given him gonorrhea or if he'd given me gonorrhea. The answer was no. The answer was no to all. So the accusation was just a projection, Aquarius. Anyways, I wear the ruffled socks. However, my problem is we don't do pennies in Canada anymore. So I haven't bought the loafers because I don't see if there's a point in having the loafer if you're not going to have the penny. So if someone can send forth a penny to me, please, and then I will show you how I style the loafer with the socks. You can follow my journey. They don't have pennies. I am so razzle dazzled and hypnotized by her. I'm just saying. The delivery, the gonorrhea, the gonorrhea accusations, the celibacy for six months. Right. With all delivered in just a total deadpan voice, her sock journey, the problem with the Canadians getting rid of the Canadian penny so she needs an American penny. I'm so into it. Yeah. Everything about her. Loved it. Yeah. Here's the thing. I thought, didn't Trump, I mean, amongst the million of stupid executive orders, didn't he ban the penny? Because I just got pennies the other day. Someone gave me pennies. I think it takes a while for it to go out of circulation. Okay. I think you start the process of the penny ban and then it takes, but who knows? He could have done the executive order and it might, I don't know what he's up to, you know? It's all lies. Lies, lies, lies. Okay. So as we continue this series of highlighting the generations that make America great, I called out last week for boomer videos and I need more boomer videos, boomers. I want to make sure, Kylie said some of these videos she gets from these kids, they play and they disappear. I can teach them how to do it really quick. Okay. Teach the boomers how to send you a video that then we can see. Right. Just hearing the patriots, gay truets, they truets, black truets and brown truets isn't enough in Trump's America. I need to see them. I'm a visual person. All right. So if you'll just take the video on your phone and then upload it from your camera roll in my DMs instead of taking it within Instagram, I think that's a great tip. So we'll see if they can. That's a great tip. Figure it out. And that was very nicely done because I was starting to, okay, I was like, maybe I need to learn how to do this. You can do it. If pumps can do it. I'm confident that I could do that. So you just take the video like you would normally take it and then put it in Instagram. Let's I want you to try this afterwards. You just take the video on your phone and then just put it right into Instagram. So I want the, uh, I want to start a, uh, unhinged boomer series on this. And I want to first say like unhinged is not an insult coming from me. Like I love, I like being unhinged. I want liberals to be more unhinged. I want us to match their energy. What all the MAGA shit I want them to be like, you're fucking crazy. I'm fucking crazy. You think Candace Owens is crazy. Wait till you get a load of the I hipsters because we are, we are fucking coming. And so I want to collect all of these videos and I want to, I want to, I, and then with the boomers, there's no assignment. I do feel like that's where we're going to get a huge amount of crab survivors. Yeah. I do. I don't think it was super, I just think we had lot, there was no Brazilian. Let's just say that back in the day that I knew about it anyway, that you had a 1970s porn bitch. So all the time I was a hairband central. So I think that I do want to just dabble. I want to know, like, I like the STD question, um, but I do want to continue, uh, this, but I really want to focus my attention right now on boomers. And then we're going to. Okay. Keep this series going and, um, eventually I'll ask like certain questions and we're going to have a Gen Z answer it, a, uh, millennial, a Gen X-er and a boomer and see the generational divide in the I hipster movement. All right. I have a story I would like to share with the class today. A reader wrote into the Washington post, which by the way, is still owned by piece of shit, fascist, motherfucker, Jeff Bezos. Okay. I'm going to read it to you. Okay. So I'm going to read it to you. Dear Eric, my neighbors have boisterous parties on occasion. It's not a matter of noise, they're very considerate about that, but from the number of cars and the late leaving times, I can only imagine that everyone is having a good time. I heard a rumor that they might be swingers, so that explains some things. The house on the other side of them is for sale. Should I let potential buyers know what they might be walking into, concerned neighbor?" they write back, neighbor, leave it be. This pineapple upside down cake is not fully baked. From what you've written, you have popular but conscientious neighbors about whom someone spread a rumor. A rumor that does not impact you in any way, mind you. If you were to tell a potential buyer, the thing that they'd likely be most concerned about is moving into a neighborhood where there's too much unfounded gossip. That's a great response. Great response. I had something similar to this happen recently. Really? So when I first moved to New York, not the swinger incident. Unfortunately, though. I was going to say, boy, y'all would have known about it way before that. I mean, I sat up in my chair. I was like, what? I know. I wish I had something that juicy. I really do because that's what we need on this channel, which is why everybody's pissed off at you for not dating, but that's whatever. So when I first moved to New York, I had a rental. And there were two apartments on my 10th floor. Mine was A, and then the other one was B. And 10B, they're super nice people. They have a couple of dogs. And one of the dogs is just a fucking yapper. I mean, a high-pitched little dog. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, non-stop. Non-stop, this dog. Non-stop. And in order to go to the trash chute, you had to walk out of your apartment front door, go in the hallway. And I would always, Josh, when he's with me, I'd be like, I feel like we're hostage. Like, I can't even walk outside the front door to go throw this trash bag away because the yapper will start in. And the yapper, if I was sitting on the terrace enjoying a nice, you know, spring day, that yapper would be, there's like one inch where the yapper could see through. And she'd be like, and just non-fucking stop. And it's just awful. And it got, it was so grating that like when I'd be waiting for the elevator to go down, the dog would, first I was a polite neighbor. And then I just got to where I'd be like, shut up. I'd be in the hallway saying, stop it. Stop it. It was just non-stop this yapping. And there's one day I just wanted to like binge a show on a Sunday. I wanted to watch like seven hours of consecutive TV. I couldn't because this fucking yapper was on the terrace and it just yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping. So after a few months, I decided I love New York. I'm never going back to the Bible belt. I'm buying an apartment here. So I contacted the landlord. Can I get out of my lease? I bought an apartment. And they said, we'll let you out of the lease, but we're going to put our, your apartment for sale. And if it sells, then you can get out. And I was like, okay, well, I had it fixed up really cute. And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to get out of the lease. And they said, you know, it was really cute. And I always thought, I hope they don't have those docs across the way for showing the apartment. And then I also thought, and then I found out like it sold like seven days later, because contrary to what they say on Fox news, the New York real estate market is like, bam, bam, bam. And so I, and the people kept wanting to come back to take measurements. And I was very, and I kept thinking like, God, this is going to fall through. Cause they're going to hear that little yapper. And they're going to be like, we've been up there like four different times and that dog will not shut the fuck up. And then like, was I got to like two days before moving? I thought, should I have warned them? Should I have told them? But then I thought nobody told me when I rented it and it wasn't cheap. Nobody said, Hey, you're going to rent this apartment, but you're going to live with a dog that cannot shut the fuck up. It's not interested in shutting the fuck up. Nobody even knows. When it breathes or sleeps, but it's all it does is fucking. Yep. I've never heard it. I've been around yappers. This is the worst yap I've ever experienced. And the owners, I mean, they tried to be like, Oh, sorry, but there's, I mean, short of, of rehoming it. I just, this is who the dog is. This is the personality that this dog is. And I had compassion for the dog and I like dogs, but I really hated this dog. Well, I remember a couple of times, didn't the dogs get your dog? They're perfect dogs. I mean, they don't bark absurdly amount. They, I mean, they're just very normal. They obey. They don't fuck around. They just, they're cool dogs. Didn't they would like get your dogs riled up through the door? Do I remember that? Or am I making that up? Well, I will tell you exactly what happened one night. And this is like my second week in New York. And it was a very surreal experience, you know, that I had moved from a place that I had lived forever. And then I'm in this apartment in New York. My kids are off at law school and college. Josh had been helped me move in and he'd gone back to Oklahoma. And I was just like, what the fuck did I just do? So I go to sleep that night and I hear all this yapping on the terrace. And so I'm like, what, what's going on? And my dogs are barking at the door and they want to go out. So I let them out and I thought maybe they need to go, you know, pee or something. And then I look out the door and I see this creature, it's smaller and fluffier than my dogs. And I'm so out of it. I'd taken like five milligrams of melatonin. I was really tired. And I was, you know, and I'm looking out and I'm like, what is that? And I knew that it shouldn't be there, but I'm up on the 10th floor and I'm like, how is there a creature on my, and I forgot the, like the, I don't even know if I knew that, I knew their apartment was right there, but that the terraces were connected, if you will. Right. Well, the dogs, snuck through, got on my terraces, riling up tubby and cha-cha, riling me up. But I was so fucked up in the head. I thought it was a fluffy rat. A long haired rat. I did. I thought it was like a long haired, fluffy rat. Cause I was like, what is that? How is there a creature on my terrace? Is this the rat thing? Is this it? Is this what they talk about? You know, the, to scare you away from New York. And they're like coming all different fur types and all this. So yeah. But anyway, that, when I read this story, when Ryan got the story ready, ready for us, I was like, I mean, I kind of, you know, like, do you want to run this in this instance? No. This person at the swinging stuff. It sounds like, I don't know. And that's jealous. Sounds like they're really interested. They want to be invited. That's what it sounded like to me a little bit. Here's the thing. I don't think you tell. I just think maybe the person that moved into that apartment after loved the dog and the dog, you just don't know. Maybe the person next door to them ends up being their best friend. It's just not your business is my opinion. I didn't. I didn't tell. No, no, no. I thought about it. I thought, do I have a responsibility to, and I felt bad and they kept like, cause then I had to wait for a closing for mine. And they're like, when can we move in? When can we move in? And I was like, I'm waiting for my closing date. And they were so eager to move in. And every time I'd leave, I thought they have no idea what they're walking into. No idea. I mean, cause some days it's so, it was so bad that I'd be like, I fucking hate it here because of the dog. I mean, it really fucks with your serenity when it's a high pitch shrieking, absent yapper. I mean, it just, it will, it will break anybody down. This dog should work for the United States federal government in a CIA black sites, advanced interrogation techniques. Cause it would break down the toughest of the tough. And I am a dog L O V E R. And it broke me down to where I was like, I fucking hate this dog. And I really don't feel hatred for dogs ever. No, ever. But this particular dog I did. Okay. Let me get your take on this story pumps. Some parents think kids need a little more danger in their lives. Pop this up. Don't call me a helicopter parent. My kids in a junkyard playing with a saw at a junkyard playground in New York city, elementary school children play with hammer saws and knives. They climb ladders, romp in the mud and push each other around in secondhand wheelchairs. No parents are allowed adult staffers called play workers. Watch this video and try to avoid telling kids to be careful unnecessarily. I like to destroy stuff said one boy. I also like to destroy stuff. A friend next to him said Yoni Kalai, one of the founders and head play worker of the yard rattled off the rules. No hitting each other, no cursing, no throwing or dropping anything heavy. The kids dispersed some zip-lined shoes on one, climbed a ladder with a fistful of nails. Another pushed a wheelchair calling out, does anyone need a shovel, saw or hammer? One play worker noticed a child standing on a manhole with a plunger and watched quietly to make sure he didn't throw the object. Today's parents are used to managing their kids' schedules and tracking their every move. But some are rethinking that kind of high intensity parenting. They're setting their children loose with some supervision. They're hoping free play will make them resilient in a world dominated by screens. Pups. Here's the thing. I'm in with all the unsupervised play, all the stuff. I don't think I can go so far as the saws. I mean, it depends on how old they are. If they're 13 or 14 versus two, I mean, I don't know. My whole thing is, can't you just set them loose on a park? Like, does it have to have and hammers. I mean, I don't know. For me, it's a tits too far, but I 100% agree over parenting the screens and all that getting outside and playing is the cool part of being a kid. And a lot of times and not doing it with your parents because you kind of get into trouble. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. I like that. I like, I support all of this. I support all of it. I like all of it. I think that we're creating a generation of titty babies unnecessarily. And then when Gen Z arrives and they're risk adverse, I'm like, well, I wonder why, because mommy did every fucking thing for them. They have no idea how to do things properly. And so I'm for this, you know, this reminds me. So my youngest son, of course, is at a way college and I get this call from this gal that works for the university and she's, and I take the call because, you know, you're used to as a parent, like, I'm like, what's going on? She's like, well, we just wanted to get to know you. And what they want is M-O-N-E-Y. Right. But before she gets to that, she's like, we just wanted to get to know you and just see how involved you wanted to be in Roman's education. And I go, oh, I need to just jump in right here. I don't want to be involved in Roman's education. Roman graduated from high school and Roman moved to California to attend a college in the United States. And I was like, well, I don't want to be involved in the school. I'm out. Like I'm a hundred percent. He has to eat what he kills. He has, he's in charge. This is a hundred percent Roman. I want no part, zero part of any of this other than him, you all mailing, you know, he has to give me his grades so that I can see if I want to keep investing into this. But as far as me being involved at the school or any of that, I want no part of. Then of course you can imagine how difficult it was for her to, to then say, we also want to get a donation, which I kind of said, no, it's already expensive enough. Sorry. I know Trump pulled all your funding, but you're not getting any extra from me. But then another incident happened at the school, which I couldn't believe this. So when we moved Roman in to his apartment, just this last late August, and he has like a few roommates, right? One of the moms, God, I hope she doesn't listen to this podcast. This is going to go really bad for me. And she does. I'm sure some of them do, but let's just fingers crossed they don't. So we're in the apartment and she says, oh, and you know, we shake hands. She goes, I need your help with something. I was like, okay. She said, I was over at the frat house and that place is just an absolute mess and they need some help. I mean, they need to get that place organized. And I was wondering, she looked over Josh and looked directly at me and said, you know, we just need some moms over there. Would you be interested in going over? And I go, no, I am not in the fraternity. I did not make that mess. And I am not going to clean that mess. I am here to help Roman and pack, assess the situation to make sure I'm not letting my kid live in some fucking roach motel free bag. And then I'm out. Like I'm completely out of, I'm not going to that nasty ass Petri dish frat house because I oppose the Greek system. I oppose the Christian system. I oppose everything about it. My, my child, this is his choice. He has autonomy. And fortunately for my child, like there's a bunch of international students in the house and it's not the bro-y type. The kids that I've met that are in it are great. And they're like from Brazil and you know, the UK doesn't have that American bro-y scene to it. But can you believe this bitch asked me to go over to the frat house? I mean, I kind of can, but yeah, I get it. This reminds me, I'm so glad we were in that group. Me that you were in. Yeah. The group me, I was a member. Sam had to get mad at me for being on it. And I, it, I mean, I, I gave it up after about a semester, but I watched it a little bit before I deleted. I'm not going to lie. I did, but that was like his pledge class, not the whole universe. I've never had the university reach out to me ever, but they don't want money. You know what I mean? They don't need the money as much. Um, but yeah, the group me cause here's the deal. That was my first child, Luke Olson. He tried to get me on a group text with his roommate about furniture. And I was like, no, no, y'all are grown. Figure out, figure it out. This is what you've got. You guys figure it out. So I've come a long way and wait six, four, six years, however long it's been. Well, I would hope that you'd come a long way since your youngest child is 22 now. Yeah. But I'm just saying from Sam moving into a fraternity or no, that was his freshman year for Sam moving in to Luke moving in like five years difference. Thank goodness. I'm better at that. But I was going to tell you, you know, I'm kind of a, I like neat stuff or whatever. So when Luke got all moved in, it was all put together. So I go down two days later for his birthday. It is a fucking disaster. I mean, it looks like somebody took a fucking bomb and blew it up. Everything is everywhere. And my first instinct, was like, I've got, I've got about 30 minutes. I could whip this shit into shape. And I didn't, I just sat on the couch amongst the filth. And I just, I was just like, this is what you have to do. Very nice. I'm very proud of you for not, um, it was hard. Yeah. No, one's a bigger, I've never met a bigger helicopter parent in my entire life until I met you. I mean, just the Tomahawk chopper. I didn't know it existed to the level. I, I, I just didn't know. Oh, that it did. It was so bad. Wrote papers that I got a C on. I got a C on like in seventh or eighth grade. I did math one time. It was fifth grade math. And he did like two problems, got sick. I did. I mean, I think there were like 36 or something. I did the rest of the homework. He only got two problems, right? The two that he did. I got every math problem wrong in fifth grade. So not only were you a helicopter parent, you were horrible at that. You failed at that. Failed, failed, failed, failed. All right. Let's do we have a voice memo up first. We've got Derek. Hello, this is Derek Gaytriot and upstate New York, actually Syracuse XOXO Jennifer. Um, I was just listening to IHIP news where y'all were talking about Trump as their imperfect vessel. And Jennifer was asking, well, if God is all knowing and all powerful and perfect, why in the hell would he send an imperfect vessel? What would be the Christian response to that? And growing up in Southern Louisiana and Southern Baptist hellscape, um, the response to that would be God works in mysterious ways. Pump said, you know, basically you're not supposed to critically think, which is, um, exactly what that means, but that that's one of the best catchphrases they use. God works in mysterious ways. So don't question it. Just have faith. Just, I love that Derek and shout out to you up in Syracuse. I love that campus. It's so pretty. Yeah. That, uh, I remember she used to say back when she was a pretty big Bible thumper and she was big. I mean, her, she wore her religion. It came out of her a lot in conversation. And I remember she would, something good in her life would happen and she'd go, it was just a God thing. I'm just like, what are you talking about? I remember her husband settled this case. He was an attorney and it was a case where he was trying a church that covered up for a youth pastor that molested like 20 little girls. And so, and he got a big verdict and Angie was like, they got the case. And she said, oh, we're just, I mean, just praise. You know, it's just such a God thing. And I was like, oh God. Well, I think you said it was God's will. I'm sorry. Go ahead. And so that's what's on the phone with Angie. She's like, he's bringing over, he's bringing over the kids. We're going to go out to dinner and celebrate. I can't find a babysitter. Will you keep the kids? I was like, yeah, I'll keep her kids. So her husband drives the kids over and he comes to get Luke, the littlest one out of the car seat. The others had hopped out and congratulations on your case. That's really great that you got such a big verdict and got justice for those girls. And he goes, you know, Jennifer, it was just a God thing. And I go, was it really Kirk? Was it really, are you telling me that all of those little girls got molested? And then, so you could then sue the church for millions of dollars. And all of that was a God thing, child molestation that leads to cash payout. And he just was like, I mean, just like blank face stared at me. And I was just like, God, I feel so good about saying that. Go ahead and pass me Luke. I'm surprised y'all left your children with me. They loved you. I know I'm great with kids, which will surprise the listener. Now, I remember when you said that, that was a real moment for me. I mean, that was a real like light bulb. I mean, one of many, I'm not singling it out, but I remember that moment in time very well. I was just so offended by it. Like I was offended. It shocked my conscience that that people would say that our monetary gain is a God thing. And when you, what did the gain come from? It came from a church covering up the molestation of 20 little girls that were molested in a place that their parents thought they were safe. And so when you and Kirk said that to me, I was personally offended by that, that somebody would claim that that was divine intervention. And it was one of those times that I just, like when you would say stuff about benign stuff, it was a God thing, or I'm praying about this. I could just let a lot of that go. But that really like that somehow all of that was divinely inspired. It shocked my conscience. And I was like, I can't let this go. No, I'm glad you didn't because now I have that same reaction. And you know, one thing is that- Are you worse than me now? I'm worse than you. I have this one lovely, lovely, lovely person that every time we hang up, and it's like a business, it's like a business, like a plumber thing that I just, she's so great. She gets things happening and she always ends up, I mean- She's your plumber? No, she's the receptionist for the plumber. And she's always Johnny on the spot. I just, she's so nice. So nice. Gets my stuff done. Like if I have an emergency, she gets somebody out. I really like her. But every time we hang up, have a blessed day. And it just gives me the creepy, cringiest, cringest. And I want to say, I don't want to have a blessed day. Don't give me a blessed day. Don't wish that on me. I want zero blessings. I want the opposite of blessing. The God thing though, that response to me was a seminal moment. And now anytime I hear a God thing, I play that tape backwards. I rewind like- Of me saying that to you and Kirk? No, the thinking behind it. Like you're celebrating this and it's at somebody else's expense. And when I was going through deconstruction, I thought a lot of- I thought a lot of how I lived my life was other people's suffering didn't matter as long as I was thriving. And so I think that's a whole- So I see that very viscerally now. I really do. Probably way worse than you now that I think about it. I can't tell you how many times people told me fucked up shit about their husband before I knew. I mean, my husband's shit was fucked up the whole time. But I'm like in the beginning, I'll, you know, my response was, I'll pray for you. What a fucking empty, worthless, unhelpful response that I was given and that I gave. That is just- So when everybody, like when somebody, if I'm on a text chain or I see it on Instagram, like pray for this. I'm just always say, you have my thoughts, da, da, da. I just, I will not do it. I will not do it. I told you in the listener what I said to your husband when he- I got lumped into the Christian- Group text after your back surgery. Oh, and you said something really funny and shut it down. He wrote to me and like all of your best friends from your Bible study group. And it's like, princess, princess just got out of surgery. God is good. They were able to get, you know, this and our blah, blah, total God thing. Prayers answered, prayers up. It was all the revenge, all the buzzwords. All the buzzwords. And I just, it just was like incensed me because I'm like, is there no credit whatsoever to fucking modern science in this? Y'all are acting like this is some fucking miracle. She was in a goddamn medical hospital for God's sakes. The people that worked on her studied for decades to do this. So, and everybody's like prayer, their prayer emoji. They're like, prayers up. God is good. And I'm like, how the fuck am I in this group chat? Like, what did I do so wrong? No other place in my world in this Bible belt. Do I, am I involved in this except for this space? And I, and it's all the women. God is good. Blessed be. And so I just chime in, I chime in. I am so grateful that she was in a medical hospital and was able to reap the benefits of decades of scientific study and medical advancement. Yay, science or something like that. I wrote like, yay, science, exclamation point. And then it just shut down. Not one response, not one response after that. And I immediately. Immediately knew like they started a new group tech spring for me. All right, boomers, please send us your videos. The crankier, the better. I want really good cranky videos. Are you telling me about my book? My book is out this week dropped. I have an audio version. I have a hard copy version. I have all the versions. You can't even really see the pages, but this is the real book. Not today. Fascists. I think you'll like it. I do a lot of links between. My observations of evangelical Christians and their republicanism and the immorality that I personally witnessed that led them straight to a vote for one Donald J. Trump. It's true. It did. All right. I'll see you all later. At Harmony Bank, we believe that better happens together. We're a locally owned bank. 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