Stalked & Murdered by Her Own BF?! The Devastating Murder of Lilie James

(upbeat music) Well, hello everybody. If you are seeing this episode right now, that means that I either just had a baby or I'm about to have a baby. I'm sure I'll post something to social media, Instagram if you wanna check in on me and where I'm at. But this feels very strange. Hello from the past, really, because this is the earliest I've ever pre-recorded an episode I am recording this in February of 2025. And there's a good chance that it has been a year since I've recorded this by the time you're seeing it. It is probably 2026 at this point. And I hope things are good. How's the future? This feels so weird, I've gotta say. But basically, at this point, I am not pregnant right now and I want to have another baby that I'm unsure of when that is going to happen. Of course, as you cannot plan these things. But I wanted to start pre-recording some episodes for you guys while I'm on maternity leave. So I can leave you with as much pre-recorded content as possible. And I thought, why not start when I'm not pregnant and I'm not feeling, you know, pregnant and awful because that's how it was last time. So I thought I'd give myself a real head start. But yeah, all the content that you're gonna see for me during my maternity leave has obviously been pre-recorded. And I'm gonna try to do as much of it as I can so I can leave you guys with as many episodes as possible. Though I do know you guys understand and are very supportive of when I need to take time off. And just supportive of me in general and I am very, very grateful. So thank you for that. But today, I'm gonna be covering a case out of Australia, actually. And I've gotten a lot of requests to cover this. We're gonna be talking about 21-year-old Lily James and the completely unnecessary devastating way that her life was stolen from her. Now I got a lot of requests to cover this case after I covered Celeste Mano. And I, you know, once I heard the details of this one, I think there's a lot of conversation, important conversation that needs to be had when it comes to how this all happened. But let's go ahead and jump in. And as always, I wanna start out by telling you more about Lily and who she was. So Lily and James was born on May 21st, 2002 to her parents, Pita and Jamie. And she also had one brother named Max. And they lived just south of Sydney in a suburb called San Suci. Now compared to Sydney, which is obviously one of the biggest cities in Australia, the capital, San Suci is quite small, with a population of less than 10,000 people. And if you're watching this episode, you can see that it is absolutely stunning, like most of Australia is. And it would make for an incredible place to grow up. And from everything that I've read, it seems like Lily had a fantastic childhood. She was always a very energetic kid with a very vibrant personality. And her parents said that she lived every day to the fullest. She was especially close with her grandma, Barbara. And she says that Lily was a very special person. Her loved ones also describe her as loyal, beautiful, kind to everyone and that she always went out of her way to make people's day better. Lily's mom, Pita says that she was even a little bit nosy, which I'm sure a lot of us can relate to. Now in terms of her education, Lily actually went to an all-girl school just down the road from where she lived, called Dane Bank. And after graduating in 2020, she went on to study sports business at the University of Technology in Sydney. And Lily was definitely a naturally ambitious person. So while she was in school, she also was doing a lot of things in her free time on the side. And some of her biggest passions were dancing and swimming, both of which she did competitively as a teenager. And swimming was actually something that she ended up turning into a job, well, kind of. In 2023, while she was in school, Lily got a part-time job as a water polo coach for the St. Andrews Cathedral School, which for context is only about 25-ish minutes north of San Susie. Water polo was really something that she loved. And honestly, coaching just came naturally to her. As you can imagine, Lily was very busy. I mean, she was a full-time student and then she's also spending a lot of time coaching part-time. And from what I've gathered, that wasn't a big deal for her. Lily seemed to be someone who did very well with a lot of things on her plate and could just time manage and juggle a lot of things. But even though she was so busy, she still made time to try and date, which brings me to Paul Tyson. Now, Paul Tyson was also a coach at St. Andrews. And before I get into the situation with him and Lily, I want to tell you a little bit more about him. So Paul was born in 1999 in the Netherlands and he was the only child to his parents' staff and Esther. Not much has been reported about his early life, but we do know that in 2015, his dad got a job in Australia and that's where he and his parents relocated for the time being. And St. Andrews Cathedral School happened to be where Paul was enrolled for grades 10 through 12. He became a sports captain and part of their leadership team and he was pretty well known around the campus. And after graduating in 2017, he decided to stick around for a paid role helping out the sports department. However, that wasn't something that he ended up doing very long because he ended up moving back to the Netherlands with his parents sometime in 2018. But then in 2020, he ended up returning to Sydney. Now obviously, 2020, the pandemic hits and everything was put on hold. But eventually, he got a job once again at St. Andrews as the coach of the cricket and hockey teams. And he also worked there as an after hours coordinator while simultaneously studying for his masters in teaching. Now, as for who Paul was as a person, I guess it sort of depends on who you ask. If you asked his roommates, they would say that he was polite for the most part and that he wasn't around much. And if you ask people that he went to school with, he just was not very well liked, it seemed. I mean, at least amongst the guys. Paul was known as being super arrogant and pompous. And when it came to women, he could be very objectifying. Paul seemed to be that type of person, and I'm sure we all know someone like this in our lives, who is able to sort of mask their true colors until you get to know them more. And then he shows you exactly who he is. And this is how a lot of people described him, which made it easy for him to flirt his way into being liked by girls. And that was something that sort of stuck out to me is that a lot of guys, like most guys who speak on who Paul was didn't seem to like him or have many good things to say about him, while girls, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind him, most girls, maybe clear. And I think that's probably because he sort of kept this mask on, played out a facade when he was around women to win them over. And then when he was around guys, he was sort of one of the boys and would really reveal who he was, and other guys didn't like it. And so when he met Lily at St. Andrews, she, at that point, just wasn't aware of his reputation. After all, I mean, she started working there in 2023, which is the same year that everything happened. So it's not like she had all this time where she was getting to know him, you know? And to be very clear, when Lily and Paul started their relationship, it wasn't very serious. And you know, I put that in quotations because it wasn't much of a relationship, it was supposed to be very casual. In fact, when she told her mom about him, she explained to her that her and Paul both agreed that this wasn't going to be anything serious. Sort of, you know, something they were doing for fun. And then when the fun was over, they'd go their separate ways. - I had a conversation with her and I said, so you're going out and she said, yeah, she said, and I said, so is it, is it anything that you think will be something serious? And she said, mum, she goes, we both sat down at the start of the relationship and decided that neither of us wanted anything serious. We just wanted some fun. And once it had run its course, you know, we would go our separate ways. - Even Lily's friends say that it was never something that she wanted to put an official label on. And you have to remember that she was only 21 years old, a full-time student and working part time and she probably just didn't have time for anything more serious than it already was. And even if it could have gotten serious, they weren't together long enough for it to reach that level. They started dating in September of 2023 and it only lasted a total of five weeks before Lily was the one who called it off. And not to mention, in those five weeks, they sort of kept all this under wraps. And I'm guessing that's probably because they were both faculty at the same school and they didn't want people to find out for that reason potentially. But yeah, only really her close friends and family even knew about it. And I will say that in those five short weeks, there weren't any major red flags or really red flags at all. I mean, at least not that her friends and family saw. Of course, we can't ask Lily now if she had seen any red flags, but for the most part, people didn't, you know, think anything was wrong in this very short relationship. Her friends thought that Paul seemed like a totally normal talkative guy and considering Lily was a talkative girl, they could sort of understand what she saw in him. Just a very like chatty guy. She always liked people who talked a lot. 'Cause she talks a lot. Just very nice. He was always very helpful. They'd work together and they'd help each other out. Two weeks before she passed, they came over together and that's when I met him for the first time. but here it was well. mannered, composed. It was just a normal, normal guy. However, only one week after visiting that friend, the relationship, if you can even call it that, was over. Now, I've seen it reported that Lily ended it with him, and I also have seen it reported that the decision was mutual, but the majority of sources say that she dumped him, which makes sense considering what happened only three days later. So that brings me to October 25th, and it was a day that really started like any other. Lily's dad, Jamie, said that he watched her eat her vegemite toast, and there was nothing about her demeanor that gave him any cause for concern. He said that she was just kind of off in her own little world, and it was just a very normal day. But later that night, something really strange happened. Around 8.30 p.m., her father received a text from Lily, or I should say, from Lily's phone, asking to be picked up from school. It said something along the lines of, don't ask why or call, please come to the school now and pick me up. And when he responded, asking if she was okay, the reply was something like, all good, just come, trouble. I was sitting in the lounge room watching it at a toast. It's a funny way, the vegemite toast. I'm looking at the clock because the train's going to come, come shortly. She's off in her own little world, but she didn't seem agitated, she didn't seem frightened, nothing it was just a normal, normal Wednesday. And it could still picture her in the kitchen that morning. And then that text message just changed everything. About 8.30 p.m., that night. And what was the text message? Come to school, trouble. Then I responded with the text, are you okay? Said yes. And you'd come to me and you said, I've just got this text from Lily. And I said, well, you've got to go. You know what I mean? You don't leave your child. You don't go, no, get your own way home, you know? She asked him to come, so he had to go. I said, at least if you go, then we'll know she's safe. But Lily wasn't safe. And when her dad got there, she was nowhere to be seen, which was very strange considering how urgent those texts had seemed. So he texted her again, asking her this time to pick up the phone. And he never got a reply. And that's when he decided to go to her desk area, you know, hoping that maybe she was there just wrapping something up. But besides her bag and some personal belongings, Lily wasn't there. And this is very chilling in hindsight, but Jamie then decided to walk into the school gym. But when he didn't see her right away, he turned around. And honestly, I'm so thankful that he didn't go any further because no father should have to see their child in the way that his daughter was found. And within the same time frame that Jamie was at St Andrews, a swarm of police officers and ambulances pulled up and they be lined for the gym bathroom. And that's where they found Lily's body. And this is just horrific to say, but she had been bludgeoned to death with a hammer. And her injuries were so significant that she was actually unrecognizable. Jamie was then immediately taken to the police station where he was told what happened. And he says that he will never forget the moment where he had to go home and tell his wife and son. And by the way, while Jamie was at St Andrews looking for Lily, her mom Pita had been texting her friends and even texted Paul to see if maybe he knew where she was. This is actually her text to Paul. It reads, "Hi, Paul. It's Pita James here, Lily's mom. You wouldn't know where she is or able to get in contact with her." And the second message said, "Hey, Paul. Any chance you've seen Lily tonight?" And both of these text messages went unanswered. And when Jamie got home and was able to tell Pita the news, which I can't imagine getting news like that. But at that moment, it made sense why nobody had seen Lily because someone had killed her. So you're at the school looking for Lily. Did you get anywhere near the gym? We went up to her desk and at back we're still there. Her past was still there. We had a quick look around. I did enter the doors that were close to the gym. It stood there and then walked back out. So I'm glad that I didn't go a little bit further. But it just couldn't find her. It couldn't find her. And it was getting late and couldn't track it down. I had a bag at this stage. I had a pass. And all of a sudden police came, ambulance came. Did you start getting the pieces of information? You start showing photos to police. Then they came back to the police station. So it's just, you know, you're not thinking that way, but you know that it's not right. And then, yeah. So it was her that I had to come home. I don't need a rematch. I feel so bad. Play those moments every day. Every day. Feel like a little down. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget that one moment in time. When the realization that you'll never work walk through that door again, who will hold me for the rest of my life. And God's seeing the pain in her parents' eyes. It's just really something no one should have to experience and that no one can prepare for. They had no idea that their daughter was in danger. And quite honestly, I don't think Lily even knew that she was in danger. And I don't think it'll come as a surprise to any of you based on how I've been talking about Paul, but turns out Paul was responsible. Now that same night, shortly before midnight, an anonymous caller reported that a body could be found in the women's bathroom of the St Andrews gym, which is why those police officers showed up in such a hurry. I have seen it reported that Jamie and PETA also called to report her missing before that, but it wasn't until this anonymous call came in that it was taken seriously. And of course, it was definitely taken seriously as soon as they confirmed that there was in fact a body in the bathroom. And like I said, Lily was beaten to the point where she was unrecognizable, but they were confident that this was her. And they were also pretty damn confident that Paul was responsible, not only because the two had just broken up, but because that anonymous call was traced to a location where he was later identified as being. And then there was also this. In the gym, there were security cameras, which captured Lily entering that bathroom around 7 p.m. And falling closely behind her was Paul. He walked in carrying a backpack and an hour later around 8 p.m. he was seen leaving with that backpack in hand. And Lily, on the other hand, of course, never made it out of the bathroom at all. So that alone tells you that Paul was almost certainly responsible. So everyone figured that out very early on. And it also tells us that Lily was not the one who was texting her dad. As I explained earlier, that text came in around 8.30 p.m. But we now know that she died sometime between 7 and 8. So this sick freak bludgeoned her to death and then picked up her phone and texted her father pretending to be her, which makes no sense. I'm sure you're wondering why would anyone do that. And the truth is, no one knows exactly why he decided to do that. But one criminologist speculated that this was either so that her dad would be the one to find her, which is just disgusting, or to try and alter the time when police believe she died. And I'm not sure the latter really makes a whole lot of sense, though, considering evidence pointed to Paul regardless of what time he killed her. Although I definitely don't think anyone is equating Paul to be a very logical person. So yeah. But I think that leaves us with the idea that he probably did this. So that her dad would be the one to find her. Anyway, though, at this point, investigators are on a full-on manhunt to try and find Paul. And they were worried that he had plenty of time to get away because he likely killed Lily between seven and eight p.m. and that anonymous call didn't come in till almost midnight. So that would give him at least four hours to try and get as far away as possible. But here's the interesting thing. He didn't go that far at all. When investigators trace the call, it let investigators to an area called Vocluse, which is roughly 20 minutes east of the school. Specifically, the caller who was now known to be Paul was along the Diamond Bay Reserve, which is a stunning cliff top that people often refer to as the gap. And you'll know what I'm talking about if you're watching this episode. But if you're listening, it's basically a massive rocky cliff that overlooks the ocean. And it's actually known as a place where people have gone to take their lives. So naturally, their concern was that Maybe Paul had taken his and that concerned only grew when they got there and Paul was nowhere to be found They did know that he had to have been there at some point because there was a security camera on a house That showed him walking around on the night that Lily was killed and what's crazy is that the camera where the footage was pulled from Actually belonged to a friend of lilies. She'd just happened to live right along the reserve and when police came to her house At around 2 a.m. and woke her up to ask her about her security camera I don't think she ever could have imagined that it was her friend's murder that they were investigating and what's also wild is She was able to identify Paul as the person seen on camera It turns out Lily and Paul had actually been over to her house two weeks prior to all of this So she recognized him immediately and it also signaled to police that This wasn't a totally random area to him that he had been there before and he had to at least be somewhat familiar with it So let's go over what exactly they saw on the footage So at 8.47 p.m. which was approximately 45 minutes after Paul left St Andrews He was seen parking Alexis along the curb right outside of Lily's friend's house Then at 904 he gets out of the car and starts walking west and by all accounts He seems calm definitely not the way that you would expect someone to be acting when they have just committed a Horribly violent murder and it's kind of hard to tell in the footage But he's also carrying that bag that I mentioned earlier and then eight minutes later He appears on the camera again heading back towards the car and now the bag was missing He then sits in the Lexus for an additional 36 minutes before finally driving off at 9.49 p.m. And keep in mind that the anonymous call to authorities came in just a little bit before midnight So that means he waited about two hours before calling and they don't know what exactly he did during this time But I can tell you that the car he was seeing driving was found the next morning in a nearby car park And I should also mention that this car he was driving this Lexus wasn't even his It was a car that he had rented that day and also that day He stopped by a hardware store where he purchased you guessed it a hammer However, they actually don't believe that that was the hammer that Paul used to kill Lily Because they ended up finding another hammer that they traced to a storage closet at the school That they found elsewhere and I'll explain that in a moment But still buying any hammer and renting that car looked a hell of a lot like pre-meditation And I'll be touching more on that later, but for now let's continue on this Paul man hunt So they didn't end up finding him on the 26 but search efforts were in full swing They did happen to find his backpack though which had been thrown away in a trash can Which was not far from Lily's friend's house and the hammer that they believed he used to kill her From the school storage closet was in that bag Which only added to their certainty that he was responsible And thankfully it wasn't much longer until he was found In fact, it was the next morning Around 8 a.m. on October 27th some tradesmen who were working in a construction area Right along the cliff's edge spotted what looked like a body at the bottom of the rocks And by 9 a.m. a helicopter and rescue boats were out there trying to recover him It was an incredibly windy and wavy day so it wasn't easy by any means But that afternoon they were able to recover Paul's remains And because of the damage from the fall and also the damage from the water He was nearly unrecognizable But through his fingerprints they were able to confirm that this was 24 year old Paul Tyson And in addition to his body they also found his air pods on a nearby rock Somewhat close to the edge of the cliff and god when I heard this I was so pissed off As I always am when people take the cowardly way out And I'm sure you guys feel the exact same way And it's actually not entirely known if Paul had planned to take his own life that night Or if it was some spontaneous act after realizing what he'd done The only thing we do know for a fact is that he definitely did plan to take Lily's life I was listening to an interview with a forensic psychologist And he said that this was not a spur of the moment murder This was pre-meditated and it was the result of Paul's narcissistic personality disorder The psychologist explained that Lily's rejection caused him to suffer what is called a narcissistic injury Which led him to feel so humiliated that he was filled with rage And over the course of the three days between the breakup and the murder Paul took steps to plot Lily's death Including renting that car and going to the hardware store Even if he didn't use that specific camera And this same psychologist is also under the belief That Paul taking his own life was spontaneous That it was almost like once the rage settled down And reality set in about what he had just done He jumped because he couldn't live with what he had done Or you know maybe he was thinking about the ramifications And what was coming next the punishment he was going to have to face And facing all of her friends and family And he didn't want to have to do that Which like I said I believe that that is the cowardly way out And I know a lot of other people feel that way And so do Lily's parents Not that they really expected much from Paul They didn't expect him to really tell them why he did this But they at least wanted the opportunity to ask him And because he's such a coward that opportunity and the opportunity for justice is gone On that awful Wednesday night after dumping potential evidence Paul Tyson sat in his car for two hours In that time he made an anonymous call to police To tell them they would find Lily's body in the gymnasium At the St Andrews Cathedral school Here's body would not be found until Friday morning The disturbed 24-year-old's death Leaving Lily's parents Jamie and Peter forever at a loss What is your view of him taking his own life? You're left with questions that we could have asked him Like I'm not saying that he would have answered it But we could have asked him some things that happened that night That you know only he knows But none of it's gonna bring her back so you know there's no Happy ending to this for us it's uh yeah At all Perfect us for the rest of our lives Lily's death not only impacted her friends and family But it also really impacted the whole community I mean to say that they mourned for her and where devastated is an understatement Around 4 30 am on the 26 just a few hours after her remains were recovered St Andrews Cathedral school sent out an email to parents Letting them know that classes would be cancelled through the end of the week They even provided free counseling services to students, parents and teachers And there were exams going on at the time And they were moved to a different building But besides that everything else was shut down for several days And in those days a makeshift memorial was created right in front of the school Where staff students parents and community members as well gather delayed flowers in her memory Several notes were also left for her one of which reads Lily those we love never truly leave us They live with us forever in our hearts and memories And that was just one of many And keep in mind Lily had only been working at the school for like a year And that just shows you what a massive impact she made in such a short period of time A mother of one of the students there actually shared that Lily was the type of coach who took the time to write personalized notes To all of her students and said that her energy was bright like the sun Which seemed to be a sentiment that was shared by so many people who came across her in life And especially from those who really knew and loved her In the wake of her death people are remembering Lily for her vibrant personality Her outgoing nature and for the love that she had for her family and friends Her grandma who as I mentioned earlier was very close with Lily Shared that she had recently befriended a new girl at school Despite pressure from others not to and I'm not sure the reasons behind that But I think that's a great example of just how big of a heart Lily had Lily had time and space for everyone No matter who they were And I loved this but her grandma actually said in a joking way that Lily would have loved the attention that she was getting from all of this And I think you know everyone has such a different way of coping with something as traumatic as this And if you can find a sliver of positivity or laughter and a sea of You know something just so terrible I think that's completely fine and honestly very healing for a lot of people And their community also really help provide some support and comfort during this horrible time Not only did they raise over $20,000 for their family in the span of just a few days But they also showed up in big numbers at a candlelight vigil that took place on the 28th And then Saint Andrews also built a permanent memorial to be displayed at the school Which was actually made up of the ribbons that were attached to flowers outside the school In the days following her death And then in mid-November a celebration of life was held We're loved ones gathered at Dane Bank which is an all-girl school that she went to To honor her 21 short years of life and some people actually showed up wearing bright colors Because it was much more representative of who Lily was than wearing black Jamie shared that his daughter was a hard worker, independent, and someone who was always on the go But no matter how busy her schedule was she always made time for the important people in her life Including her brother Max, her parents, and her friends He thanked the community for their thoughts, prayers, and generosity and he also thanked Lilly for the jam-packed years that they did get to spend together. And I hate even having to turn the focus back to Paul, but there are a few things about him that I need to share for starters, the opinion of the public. For the most part, a lot of people seem surprised that Paul was capable of even doing something like this. You know, just based on the guy that he presented himself to be, I mean, as I mentioned earlier, he sort of masked his true colors. And he was looked at as someone with a lot of potential, whatever that means. Very few people actually got to see who he really was. The obsessive, egotistical, and narcissistic side that he had. But it's believed that Lilly was someone who did. And that's why she wanted out of this relationship only five weeks after it started. It's also believed that his ex-girlfriend saw that side of him too. And her identity has remained anonymous, probably for safety reasons. But when she learned about what had happened to Lilly immediately after it happened, she knew that Paul was responsible. And she even said that what happened to Lilly could have happened to her. And sadly, I don't doubt that because when girls broke up with Paul, it seemed like he could not take no for an answer. He begged her to keep dating him. And when she said no, he ended up punching a tree. And when she asked him, why did you just punch that tree? He said, because I can't punch the one thing I want to. And after that, she ended up literally running away from him, because she was fearful for her safety. And I can see why. Because the next two mornings in a row, Paul could be seen waiting outside the fence of her house. Her dad actually chased him down the street at one point, which was the only way that they were able to get rid of him. And before he chased him off, when he was still just standing outside the fence, they said that he'd looked deranged, almost like he was having some sort of episode. So I definitely don't think she's wrong when she said that this could have been her, it very well could have. And Paul is a danger to society, especially a danger to women. And in the aftermath of all this, there have been some very important conversations around the epidemic of domestic violence. I mean, as we all know, violence against women is rampant worldwide. But if we talk about New South Wales alone, Lily was the fourth woman killed in a 10-day span in some kind of domestic dispute. And in 2023 alone, she was one of 58 women who were victims of domestic homicide in New South Wales. According to a study that was done by the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, which has sparked the question, what is Australia doing to protect women? And according to many, they're not doing enough. Which again makes me think of Celeste Mano's case and how she was completely failed by the system. I mean, her death was 100% preventable. And god, it's just so frustrating to think about. And I'll have that episode linked below if you haven't seen it. But yeah, just a complete and total failure of the government. And of course, I'm not just coming for Australia. I mean, this is happening all over the world. Systems are failing women left and right. And it's especially bad here in America. But looking at Australia specifically, despite the efforts to implement prevention plans and resources to victims of domestic violence, the rate of violence against women remains high. In 2022, a national plan to end violence against women and children was introduced into the government, with plans on improving police responses, creating more emergency housing, increasing trauma support, and more. However, women continue to die at the hands of men like Paul. And I wish that this was something that I had the answers to, you know, the solution, and I most certainly don't. But I just don't get why it is so hard to protect women. One thing that I personally feel is not working is the idea that women need to be taught how to protect themselves. Which obviously I'm all for. I think it is a very important life skill for anyone to learn how to protect themselves. But what's frustrating is why isn't the emphasis put on the perpetrator? Why is it don't get killed, not don't kill? And one thing that Lilly's dad has been vocal about is he wants to put an emphasis on ending the narrative that domestic violence is complicated. He says that we need to uncomplicate it for people. Because using that term can really discourage people from learning and understanding its true dangers. Now, as for Lilly's mom, she thinks it's important that children are taught how to handle rejection. And I couldn't agree with her more. I mean, life does not always go your way. You can't force people to remain in relationships with you or have a friendship with you or whatever it is. I mean, disappointment and rejection is a part of life. And kids need to learn that very early on. This was so heartbreaking to me, but Lilly's mom, Peta, still spends almost every day in her room. And they've kept it just the way that she left it. And that's something that I see a lot of parents do in cases where their children are murdered. And it's heartbreaking, but it's also very beautiful in a way that they're preserving her space. And this also broke my heart. But she says one of the things that she misses most is hearing her daughter's voice. And I just can't imagine never hearing my own daughter's voice ever again. I guess they don't have that many recordings of her talking. And that's something that has been really difficult for them. Just heartbreaking and devastating just doesn't even begin to describe that kind of pain. And understandably, she and Jamie both feel that they are not able to forgive Paul. And I know everyone approaches these situations so differently. I know there are many people who have found healing through forgiveness, but I completely understand them not being able to offer that forgiveness to him. I mean, what he did is disgusting. It's incomprehensible. And they think of him as a monster. Just the fact alone that he picked up her phone and pretended to be her texting her father is so sick and cruel. I don't even have words for it. And they also believe that he did that so that Jamie would be the one to find her, which just adds another layer of evil on top of everything else. So yeah, they're extremely angry. And they have every right to be. And they are also looking to sue St. Andrews for gross negligence and breaching their duty of care when it came to Lily. They believe that this school should have had measures in place to protect staff and students after hours, especially given how much money intuition they're bringing in yearly. There is no reason to not have nighttime security in place, so that is something that they're looking for the school to implement. And there's also one more thing that the school did that I definitely wanted to bring up because it really pissed me off and it upset a lot of people. And I guess I should say it's something that the principal did. Shortly after Lily's death, he wrote a newsletter to the school community, which reads, "In part, he was not a monster. Rather, in the last five hours of his life, he committed a monstrous act, which was in complete contradiction to what everyone who knew him observed in the rest of his short life." And then he also said, "The young man concerned was in everybody's estimation an absolute delight. I could not believe that someone would actually have the nerve to not only say something like that, but to send it out in a newsletter to the entire community." I mean, what a slap in the face. That is disgusting, in my opinion. And a lot of people felt the same way. I mean, they were just so angry that he seemed to be making excuses for Paul and trying to offer sympathy to him and who he was as a person and just wrong time, wrong place, wrong person to be writing that about. For him to be using this tone of kind of like he wasn't a bad kid, he just did a bad thing is so mind blowing and so out of place, did you forget what happened in your school? He bludgeoned her to death in the bathroom to the point where she was unrecognizable. And that's someone that you felt like you should describe as an absolute delight, you're out of your mind." And not only that, you guys, he also took the time to theorize about what happened as if his opinion even matters or is needed in any way. And he said, "Was it a psychotic episode which was deeply out of character? The literature on pornography for boys and young men says that many see this kind of appalling, sexualized violence on the screen, which some amidst the greatest of tragedy, act out in real life. Does any of this apply to him? We will never know." Which is infuriating and absurd on every level. I mean, how does porn have anything to do with this situation? Why did you feel like you needed to give your two cents when you clearly have nothing important to say? And people were rightfully super pissed about this because it highlights that idea that boys are constantly protected from the consequences of their action, almost like blame the porn, not the boy, or, you know, we often see this with video games as well. The only person to blame here is the person who committed this heinous murder. And I don't understand why this principle was trying to weirdly minimize it in any way. Now, this principle did issue an apology and said that the context of his words were important. And of course, yeah, context is important, but I don't know how you could take the context of what he was saying in any other way. I mean, just the timing of it alone and regarding this issue, if you want to talk about, you know, the dangers of porn and the effects on young men, time and place, completely different situation, do not relate it to Paul or to Lily's murder. I will say on a positive note, they did have that bathroom completely torn down, which is a start, but more needs to be done to protect future students and staff so that they can feel safe in the school. But one thing that I think that we can all take away from this episode and from Lily's story is that she did not deserve what happened to her and not being able to get the closure or justice is enraging. The monster who killed her, clearly could not handle rejection and couldn't handle losing control. So he did the most vile thing a person could do, which is taking the life of another and there's just zero excuse for that. Her friends have even said that they personally feel scared to date now because they're afraid of ending up in a situation like this, which is heartbreaking. Dating and exploring, meeting other people is such a huge part of development and growing up and being afraid to do that is just so unfair, but I don't blame them at all. I would probably feel the same way if someone that I was close with was killed in that way. By someone that she only dated for five weeks and I really wish I had some words of wisdom to offer, you know, her friends and women all across the world, most women who fear for their safety on a daily basis. I mean, I myself constantly feel fearful. Even, you know, at place, even during the day, like out on a run or at the gas station, especially though at night, because of, you know, all the cases I've covered and we've all heard these stories no matter where you live or who you know or if you've been directly related to a situation like this, we all carry that fear. And I know there are probably so many of you out there watching this episode who would be their experienced domestic violence, know someone who has experienced domestic violence or is experiencing it right now or you yourself are in a dangerous situation right now and as always, in any episode that I discuss domestic violence, I will be putting resources in the show notes. This case is so frustrating. It's overwhelmingly heartbreaking beyond words and I just want to express my deepest condolences to everyone who knew and loved Lily. She seemed like such a fun, kind, driven person that was going to do amazing things in her life and for that to have all been taken away is so unfair. That doesn't even feel like a good enough word to describe how it's just devastating. It's devastating and I can confidently say that just from the little I've learned about her that the world is dimmer without her light. But that is all I have for you guys today on this case. I definitely want to hear your thoughts in the comments about not only Lily's case, but some of the topics that we're discussing around violence against women and domestic violence, so please, I want to hear from you. But that is going to be it for me today. I'm not sure what my uploading schedule is going to be like while I'm on maternity leave. I highly doubt I'm going to be able to pull off in episode every week. We'll see I'm going to try to do as many as I can and also my husband Josh has offered to record some for me as well. It's pretty hard to add in a bunch of extra pre-recorded episodes on top of my daily or weekly schedule where I record three shows a week. It's just a lot to fit it all in, but especially during pregnancy, which I don't know how that's going to be for me and how much energy I'll have. I'm always hoping for one of those pregnancies where people are just thriving and living life just as normal. So maybe I'll be able to do more. I'm going to do my best and again, thank you guys for the support. That is going to be it for me today, guys. Thank you for joining me for another episode and make sure you follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. It really does help me out. If you want to watch the video version of this show, you can find it on my YouTube channel, which will be linked, or you can just search Kendall Ray. I will be back with another episode soon, but until then, stay safe out there.