Spiritual Nuggets: "The Glory of Woman"

Welcome to the St. Amelia Podcast. St. Amelia Ministries is an outreach of the Department of Home Schooling of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdioceses of North America. We exist to inspire, equip, unite, and educate home schooling families throughout Orthodox North America. Join us for bi-weekly conversations with home schooling parents and home schooled teens, interviews with leading voices in the Orthodox home schooling community and guidance from our Board of Spiritual Advisers. Today, we're pleased to share an episode from our advice segment, Spiritual Nuggets, with one of our spiritual advisors. Good afternoon. I feel privileged to have the opportunity to speak to such an amazing group of women. As you heard in my biography, I've been graced to have had the experience of being a single mom, actually a single woman, first, with a full-time career, a woman with a full-time career with young children. And at that time, I remember being very proud that I was only a part-time mom, and then for the past 10 years, being a full-time homemaker with tweens and now teens. Giving this variety of experiences, I plan to share information with you today, that I hope will enrich you. This is being recorded, so if I hurry through anything you might want to reference later, I hope you'll listen to the recording once it's distributed. I'll focus on the following statement today. Women have a unique role and position in the family and the church, not one of oppression or complete individuality, but rather one of courage, sacrifice, spiritual leadership, humility, service, and glory. Our agenda for today will talk about the household codes, Peter and Paul's letters, the courage of women. God comes to women where they are. Wisdom from women disciples in the 21st century, which was a presentation given by Mother Christophero, tips from finding healthy rhythms, a presentation given by Alisa Bialitic Davis, helmet of salvation and lastly, litany to my daughters. It's always good to start the beginning. The beginnings of Christianity in the Greco-Roman world. Much of the information that I am going to present is from a blog written by Rachel Held Evans. The link is on the resource document that will be distributed later to all attendees. When we read Peter and Paul's household codes in the New Testament epistles, those verses were probably all familiar with speaking of husbands and wives and their roles. Many are unaware that the apostles were drawing from the secular, Greco-Roman world in order to make a point. Perhaps the most familiar ancient household codes came from the philosopher Aristotle. In his politics Aristotle writes, "For although there may be exceptions to the order of nature, the male is by nature fit her for command than the female, just as the older and full-grown is superior to the younger and more immature." These sentiments were echoed by other Greek philosophers and also by Jewish philosophers, like Fyla. Wives must be in servitude to their husbands, a servitude not imposed by violent ill treatment, but promoting obedience in all things. And Josephus, who said, "The woman says the law is in all things inferior to the man. Let her accordingly be submissive, not for her humiliation, but that she may be directed for the authority has been given by God to the man." The consensus in these ancient writings is that a man is justified in ruling over his household because his wives, slaves, and children are by nature his inferior. The purpose of the household codes were to reinforce the goodness and importance of this hierarchy, family structure, which held together the very fabric of society at that time in history. Having said this, Peter and Paul and their new testament letters were not creating new systems to impose on Christian households, but they were rather commenting on systems that had already been in place for many years. Wives were already expected to obey their husbands. They weren't introducing a new order to the household. They were commenting on an order that already existed largely unchallenged. With Christ, the social order had changed. As Paul wrote to the Galatians, "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male or female for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Paul is not simply talking about equal access to salvation here. He's talking about the creation of a new family, where the social and religious lines that once separated men from women slaves from free Jews and Gentiles vanish in the household of God. So when Peter and Paul introduced Christ to the household codes, everything changes. Rather than placing the male head of house at the sovereign center, Peter and Paul placed Jesus Christ at the center, and with Jesus Christ at the center, all the old boundaries break down and the hierarchies begin to blur. Where typical Greco-Roman household codes required little or nothing of the head of household, regarding fair treatment of subordinates, Peter and Paul encouraged men to be kind to their slaves, to be gentle with their children, and shockingly to love their wives as much as they love themselves. Unlike Aristotle, Philo or Gifcefus, the apostles did not declare the natural superiority of the male head of house as the justification for this rule. Instead, they consistently appeal to the shared lordship of Jesus Christ, reminding the male head of house that he too has a master in heaven. If wives submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ, and if husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, and if both husbands and wives, slaves and masters submit one to another, who's really in charge here? No one. In the Christian family, wives submit to their husbands as they would submit to Christ, and husbands submit to their wives the way Christ submitted to the church by giving his life for it, keeping in mind that we are all parts of one body. In the Christian family, everyone submits one to another, looking to Christ as the example. The purpose is to point all parties to the example of Jesus and his role as the ultimate head of home. But another point to keep in mind is that while Potter, Familius, the male head of household, may be fading from our lives, we still live in a culture here in the 21st century that is obsessed with power, and in which many inequitable power structures, both formal and informal, spoken and unspoken, seek to divide us. The household codes should remind us that where we may be advantaged with power or privilege, we are called to humble ourselves, to sacrifice, to love, to listen, to surrender our power, and to treat our fellow human beings as our equals, co-airs and brothers and sisters in the family of God. Where we may be disadvantaged and without power, we are reminded that we don't answer to the man anyway. We answer to Christ, who has been both powerful and power less. We need to have the same mindset of Christ. That's the point of the New Testament household codes. It's not about reinforcing power. It's about relinquishing it. Just a little bit more about the history of women in early Christian gum. My husband is reading the series of books by John Strickland and he has finished the first book called The Age of Paradise. Early church membership was predominantly female, which is not surprising because Christianity dignified women. Paganism assigned a low value to women. Classical philosophers, as I mentioned, were nearly unanimous in regarding female humanity as naturally inferior to male humanity. In the Republic, Plato indicated that women are naturally inferior to men, not only physically, but also spiritually and morally. However, Christianity dignified and continues to dignify women. Paganism had trouble keeping women. Once many had encountered the gospel and Christian teachings, for they were finally recognized and given a role. They were featured prominently in scripture and they learned about the Virgin Mary who is ever blessed. Women finally had a place. I'll read a few excerpts from Peter and Paul's letters that will give us a basis for our future topics. First Corinthians 7-4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. In the Orthodox study Bible, notes section, it is written, "The mutuality of marriage, the equality of commitment, that Paul and Joins here is unprecedented in his era." St. John Chrysostom, speaking of husband and wife, teachers, neither is master of himself. They are servants to each other. Colossians 3-18-41 titled "Spirituality in the Home" says, "Wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." In the study Bible notes, "Life in the Home is in the Lord." The family is a little church and is to live in the baptismal and eucharistic life of the church. Duties are reciprocal, everyone having the same standing before the same master. All authority is for the sake of loving service, and all authority is humbling. And all submission is to God, and all submission is glorious. With Christ and His church as our example, the role of all women has changed. It is valued more. All relationships change when Christ is involved. I have a few new testament examples of women and their roles. When our Lord Jesus Christ was presented by Mary and Joseph, 40 days after his birth at the temple, a prophetess named Anna is documented in Luke 238, and it says, "And she spoke of him to all those who looked for redemption in Jerusalem." Both men and women are called to proclaim Christ's redemption. Mary first intercedes with Christ on behalf of others at the wedding of Canaan. She says they have no wine in John 2. Then she calls all humanity to obey him, saying, "Whatever he says to you, do it." Most of us are familiar with the merbers, the seven women along with the Virgin Mary, who came to Christ tomb after his crucifixion. Father Lawrence Farley writes about them and their courage, the courage of women. The merbers expressed the indomitable courage so often found in women. The merbers were women in what was definitely a man's world, and Jews in what was decidedly a gentile world. They had no wealth or worldly influence in a world where practically nothing else counted apart from wealth and worldly influence. Yet despite these disadvantages, they decided they would meet together to confront the Roman soldiers guarding the lords' sealed garden tomb, and ask that they could unseal the tomb for them. They roll back the massive stone and they be allowed to enter to anoint the body buried there. This whole project would be almost laughable if it were not so dangerous. It seemed like a hopeless venture, and they may be rudely ejected from the garden by the guards. It's so easy for us to become sentimental about the merbers and so miss the courage that it took for them to approach the guards. We have probably never lived in a land occupied by a foreign and hostile power, as did the Jews in the Holy Land in the first century. So much courage was required by these Jewish women approaching the Roman soldiers who were keeping secure the corpse of a man who had just been executed as an enemy of the Roman state. These were women with what we would now call guts. Their gutsy courage challenges us to face the world with the same type of courage today. In this day, we must show the endometable courage of women. In this day, we follow the merbers into battle under the banner of our king and confront the world. Why did the merbers stay there in the garden? They had no fear. In 1 John 418, it says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment, and who-who fears has not been made perfect in love." The merbers had sacrificial love. When we serve the least of these, we serve others. Serving. Think of Mary and Martha for the glory of God, not to build ourselves up, but for God. The merbers are rewarded. They tended to needs, and were then able to witness the resurrection. The angel at Jesus' tomb addresses the women personally, using the word "you" in Greek. Women are shown great respect, and then the women are the first to proclaim Christ's resurrection. We are courageous, but maybe we don't feel that we have the opportunity to use our courage. There are times that we may feel that the responsibilities of life keep us as women, more homebound than the men in our lives. But God comes to us where we are, particularly as women. If we recall St. Anna, the mother of Mary, the Thayatokos, and the wife to Joachim. In the Acathus to the righteous Joachim in Anna, we learn that the holy Joachim experienced the scorn of the high priest in the temple of Jerusalem because of his lack of children and was distressed. Joachim withdrew to his flocks in the wilderness. Holy Anna, knowing of her husband's grief, wept bitterly in her house and prayed that the Lord would remove from her the reproach of barrenness. Anna entered the garden of her home. The angel of the Lord appeared to her, telling her that she would conceive and bear in all blessed daughter in whom all the people of the earth will be blessed through whom salvation will be given to the whole world, and her name shall be called Mary. You see the angel comes to Anna where she is, at her home and in her home's garden. I saw a lovely post called "God Comes to Women" from the St. Elizabeth Convent in Minsk. In summary, the writing said, "God meets women at the wells where they draw water for their families, in their homes, in their kitchens, in their gardens. He comes to them as they sit beside sick beds as they be of birth, care for the elderly, and perform necessary mourning and burial rights." Even the women at the empty tomb were the first to witness Christ's resurrection. We're only there because they were doing the womanly chore of properly preparing Christ's body. for burial. In this seemingly mundane and ordinary task, these women found themselves face to face with divinity. So if you, like me, ever start to be mow in the fact that you don't have as much time to spend in the mountains with God as you would like, remember God comes to women. He knows where we are and the burdens we carry. He sees us and if we open our eyes and our hearts we will see him, even in the most ordinary places and in the most ordinary things. Now let's get a little more practical. What we can do to serve the Lord, our husbands, our families, our church communities. The following wonderful points were shared by Mother Christopher, the abyss of the Transfiguration monastery, which is outside of Pittsburgh, back in November of 2019. I am a real note taker and I took notes. So this is almost five years ago and I still have them and could find them. It was at the Ancient Faith Women's Conference and I have asked Mother Christopher's permission to share some of her incredible insights with you. She started off her presentation saying that we as women have spiritual radar. It is easier for us to feel God. It is part of our nature. We have this spiritual gift. It is important to realize that we are a part of the church. We have strengths such as organizing, multitasking, sensitivity to needs. We are life-givers. We support life and we are very sensitive to God. But this gift can be a cross and a temptation. We can be overly sensitive. So be careful. We truly impact those around us. As we mentioned earlier, the Murbharrers saw the angel. They then knew the purpose of their group had shifted. They were no longer just bearing Murr. They would preach to the disciples who were hidden behind locked doors. As an example, look at your parish. Is it off track? Are there some people who are neglected? We are empowered. Look at the Murbharrers. They were already empowered. The men were waiting to receive the Holy Spirit. See how you can use your education and talents to help the church. But don't be frustrated. Meditate and pray about it. See how you can use your talents and then do it with joy. The mother is the priest of the family. She keeps the spiritual tone in the home. My husband reminds me of this when my tone gets a little off. One of my favorite quotes about prayer in the family is by Elder Thaddeus who says, "It is of great significance if there is a person who truly prays in a family. Prayer attracts God's grace and all the members of the family feel it. Even those whose heart has grown cold. Pray always." So we as a woman can pray for our whole family and the grace of God will come on us all. We can also minister to our priest. Pray for him and help your parish as much as you're able. Julianne Schmeman, the wife of Father Alexander Schmeman, writes about service in the book, "The joy to serve. Love him back." The details of this are on the resource list. How do we live this role of a woman serving the Lord? We do it with courage, backbone, resilience, tenacity, and patience. Mother Christopher reminds us, "We choose our path. We are free. We are not enslaved by do's and don'ts. We have an independent vision of life. We choose what we be and do." As a woman nurture yourself, be grateful. Our struggles teach us. They teach us to be forgiving and full of life. Remember that it is not easy for the man to be the head of the family. The woman is the spiritual leader of the family in most circumstances. She teaches and she establishes order. Although meals can certainly be a drudgery at times, meals are the Holy Liturgy. The table is the altar in our home. We need to put our offering and sacrifice there. It is a gift. Again, set the tone. We need to redirect the tone of the family as needed. Try to remain calm. Take care of your heart. St. Seraphim of Sarov says, "Aquire a spirit of peace and thousands around you will be saved." Call on the saints. Slow down. Be patient. The mother of God was often silent. Remember, the Holy Spirit is in all places and fills all things. We offer wonder, "Well, what should we do?" I know myself at times have said, "Is it better if I was somewhere else to spread the gospel or to help people?" Mother's advice is, "Focus on where you are, your neighbor, the one near you, until God reveals something else to you." Some people have titles, but we are all necessary. You don't need a title. Be a servant of the Lord, and your passion will come to you. Mother Christopher mentions a wonderful book by Kathleen Norris, the Quittidian mysteries, laundry, liturgy, and women's work. Work is our liturgy. Try to think and say, "Glory to God for all things." Some of us may have advanced degrees and we're thinking, "Oh, I'm not using them here at home." Lay your intellect at the altar of Christ. Pray the Jesus prayer. It can change your heart. Practice feeling the presence of Christ. What is the next thing in front of me? Many days just think about that and go from there. Don't look at the entire picture. We say we are exhausted, but it is often because we aren't in control. I know I found it personally to transition from my previous role at work where, in theory, I had much more control compared to being home with children. These household chores which never end, and I didn't have the feeling of accomplishment, of a tangible accomplishment, of a beginning and end of projects. We're not alone. Look for support, whether it's through St. Amelia, through a conference, whether it's through a co-op, through your friends, parents, Godparents. Try to find God, take your boredom and turn it into curiosity. The Lord was incarnate. He had a physical body. We have a physical life. Self-care is important. Attach any suffering we have to Christ. It's not meaningless. It is all part of God's plan for our life. It's all part of our growth. Forgive yourself. Have humility. We set so high a bar and then we are frustrated or embarrassed. Even the saints made mistakes and they got up again. We need to be humble and meek and gentle with ourselves. And lastly, Mother Christopher says, "Focus on now, not the past. In the beautiful Orthodox faith, we have the sacrament of confession. Take advantage of it and then move forward." The following points were shared by Alisa Bielatich Davis, a book author and podcaster. on ancient faith. I have asked her permission to share these thoughts with you. We've all heard the term "self-care" and in a secular sense it probably involves a spa day, a fancy coffee, or maybe a shopping trip. But self-care to the orthodox woman, Elisa says, is a little different. It's composed of prayer, fasting, giving alms, being humble, being small, and loving your neighbor as yourself. If our soul is our child, what makes a soul healthy? Keeping it connected to God, our soul is our sacred responsibility. We must take care of it. We are a baby, and we have to offer ourselves up to God. We have the fullness of the faith in orthodoxy. If you live in the rhythm of the church, you'll get all that you need. The rhythms of the church bring us peace, and they hold us together. Whenever you're about to do something good, just before, many times, the demons come in. But keep going, resist them, push through, do that good thing. We are spiritual and physical beings. We worship with both of these natures, and we must live in both. We need to know our weaknesses spiritually, mentally, and physically. If we know our weaknesses, we're better able to fight them and to work on making them better. My priest himself recommended a book that Alisa also recommends called "God's Path to Sanity" by D. Penock, the details are on the resource list. As women, we begin to think so many people need something from us. We think we must deliver. We can get anxious. We have too many demands. We don't have enough. These next points were really life-changing for me. We are in trouble if we think we are what everyone needs. God can take care of all these people. We are God's distribution center. Pray for people, but the Lord is doing the work. We think it is us. They don't need us. They need God. God is working through us. We are not supposed to be enough. Our family is not taking away from our spiritual life. It is our life. Christ needs to be our example. He was pressed on all the time. He was the only source of healing, but he escaped into the boat. Christ had boundaries. We can have them too. Christ can do all things, but he took a rest. We are supposed to rest. He went into the wilderness to pray. We also need breaks. Don't feel guilty. We need to rest so we can be his hands and feet. Give yourself permission to have some downtime. Go out in the wilderness to pray. Find what nourishes you and calms you. What can change your perspective? Turn everything into a prayer. Think of everyday tasks as gifts. We are called away to serve. Say a prayer every time you do something. Try to lay those earthly cares aside as is said in the Cherubic hymn. Pray with your feet and maybe your hands. My daughter sent a card to me from college. She included this quote from Saint Arsenios of Regio in Calabria. He said, "He who works with his hands and prays in his heart becomes double rich for he serves Christ both as Mary and Martha." Raising a family, it is our gift. It refines us. It's not I must do this. For example, I bake pro sfer once a month for my parish. I would say, "I have to bake pro sfer today." And my daughter would say, "Don't say that. Say, I have the opportunity to bake pro sfer today." Opportunity. View everything as a privilege rather than an obligation. Ask for help from the saints. We are not alone. Mindy has compiled a wonderful list of saints on the resource list. We and our families all have guardian angels. Also, ask the saints to talk with our children. Pray to God for our children. As Saint Paesius says, "Don't just lecture our children." Set boundaries. We can't do everything. And lastly, carry each other's burdens. Stay connected to those who love you. Say yes when someone offers. Say, "Help me when it is needed." And gratefully accept the help. There have been some questions posed prior to this lecture around the wearing of head coverings in church. In July of this past year, I was able to attend the Antiochian Archdiocese Convention in Phoenix. And a speaker, Tim McFadden, spoke about head coverings during a presentation called an Orthodox understanding of the gender debate. I was also given a pamphlet written by Bishop Alexi of Alaska. I wanted to briefly mention some points from Mr. McFadden's talk and also from his Grace Alexi's writings. Mr. McFadden spoke about a reawakening to glory. Women equal glory. In the Old Testament, angels first appeared to women. The bad fallen angel in the form of the serpent to Eve and then an angel with good news to haggar. In the New Testament, an angel appeared first to Mary at the annunciation and then to Joseph. Mary is considered more glorious beyond compare than the Saraphim. That's fire, burning and bright. A woman bore God. At the resurrection, the angel first appeared to women. Mr. McFadden mentions that in the Old Testament worship, wherever there is glory, there is a covering. Quote over all the glory, there shall be a covering unquote. In Old Testament worship, angels, coverings, glory and women. Between these four things, there is an interplay. The arc of the covenant was covered by angels' wings. Angels are called angels of glory. A cloud descends and there is a covering of glory. In our churches, the altar and the holy gifts are covered. St. Cyril of Alexandria commenting on 1 Corinthians, wrote, "The angels find it extremely hard to bear if this law that women cover their heads is disregarded." Head coverings were a eucharistic, gender-distinguishing practice of the church universal until a generation or so ago. We have many prejudices, many perfectly understandable, for example, for those from countries that have a strong Muslim influence, now that there's liberation from some Islamic oppression to be able to remove a head covering. There are also some old cultural prejudices that women who wear head coverings maybe are yayas or babushkas. However, Mr. McFadden said that his thought is to wear a head covering in any service, where you hope to see the angels or for the angels to come down. Very amusingly, he said that women are dimming their headlights for the angels by covering their head. Bishop Alexia Velasca writes in his helmet of salvation booklet, "It is spiritually beneficial to honor in every way the most pure virgin thiotocles. It pleases her when we strive to imitate her through a commitment to purity, prayer, and to her son. Every Orthodox Christian woman is called to be an icon of the mother of our Lord, and by her way of life bring the Lord into the midst of her children, her family, and her community at large. A particular blessed way of honoring the mother of God is by dedication to the virtue of modesty. St. Paul considers modesty to be a fruit of the spirit. We are especially called to modesty when we pray in church. It enables us to approach God with that humble and contrite heart that he will not despise. Our Lord himself was modesty, modesty in his miracles, in his speech, modesty in his example, and modesty even in the washing of his disciples feet. Head scarves are a way that women have been cultivating modesty and honoring the most pure mother of our Lord for over a thousand years. It is not about being subservient, it is not oppressive. The holy chalice, the altar, the priests and deacons and their vestments are covered because they are holy. We cover what is precious, what is honored, what deserves protection. A woman's head covering is not just like these coverings. It is such a covering, a vestment that is sacred. A head covering is a vestment that women have traditionally put on for prayer. Many women notice that when they cover their heads, it helps contribute to sobriety, prayerfulness and guarding the tongue. It is not just an exterior custom, it has meaning for the soul. Bishop Alexey says every Orthodox woman has this privilege of special clothing for church. Until the 1950s, the privilege was never seen as a form of sexist oppression, but rather as a tender expression of love for God and for neighbor. In the war of secularism, in the 50s and 60s, women began to look at heavy coverings, not with the eyes of faith and a heart of piety and reverence, but instead to view them through the lens of a broken world, dominated by rights and the need for self-expression. A way of life in which freedom was not seen as freedom to keep the commandments of God and become God-like, but freedom from anyone and any institution telling us what to do. Freedom leading to the will of man, not the will of God, a freedom leading to pride, not humility, a freedom ending most often in anger, not love. The precious protecting veil of the mother of God is the one head covering that we all desire to be under, men and women alike. Bishop Alexey goes on to say that there may be some who do not desire to adopt this expression of pious love, but don't feel judged, don't feel excluded. His intent in his writing is to teach and to give, not to reprimand or belittle. He says these things because he cares for us and wants us to know and experience all the joy of Orthodox Christianity. That joy always begins with action in a world, a spiritual world where all is holy, all is Christ. Let piety, not logic, and certainly not the ways of this fallen world be your guide. Piety is something personal. It is how you make the sign of the cross. It is when you bow your head. It is the teary eyes that water when your heart is touched by the hand of God. A head covering is a gift from the mother of God offered not only to the women of the church, but to everyone because we are one body. My piety affects your piety and your piety affects my even as my prayer affects your prayer and your prayer affects my. We have covered a lot in a little more than the 40 minutes. How Christ's teaching changed the hierarchy or structure of households in the first century. Some characteristics of women, particularly courage, and incredible teaching and advice that I hope will support you in your walk of faith at church and in your homes. I will end with a brief litany. I have been blessed by God with three incredible daughters. My husband and I put this list together. What I want for my daughters. First, that they know that they are truly loved by God. For them to learn from the saints and emulate their lives, using them as a source of strength and encouragement. To work, paid or unpaid, doing something that helps others and brings them true joy. That they will find a church community wherever they live, where they can grow in faith, have support, and can use their gifts and talents to the glory of God. Mary, if it is God's will, and grow in the Orthodox faith with their spouse, and raise their children in the church. If not marriage, perhaps a monastic life, or contentment as a single woman serving the Lord in the world and parish life. Lastly, for peace in their lives, regardless of their circumstances, for these precious women to keep their peace in this temporal world. Thank you so much for your time. I pray that my words and those of others I referenced will strengthen you and inspire you in your walk of faith. Thank you. Thank you.