Spinnin’ on Her Head Like She Booker T with Leonard Ouzts

- Choice Hotels gets you more of what you value. ♪ Comfort Inn ♪ ♪ It's calling your name ♪ ♪ Save on the stay ♪ ♪ Oh, and free waffles are yours to claim ♪ ♪ Book direct at choicehotels.com ♪ - This holiday, all plans, even unlimited, are just $15 a month. A holiday deal this good obviously deserves an enormously expensive holiday song, like "All I Want". Right, okay, we can't afford that. You know what, forget the music budget. We're gonna stick with whatever's in the public domain. Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. - Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent, taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only, greater than 50 gigabytes, may slow when network is busy. See terms. - Y'all, what the fuck is up? Welcome to My Favorite Lyrics, a podcast where we talk about music lyrics, except for when we talk about other stuff. Today we've got a very, very special guest. He's got a comedy special out right now called "Lil' Sum Sumum." Welcome to the show, Leonard Utes. - What's going on, my guy? Yeah, Lil' Sum Sumum in stores, bitch ass nigga. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead and get that. - I always wanted to be a street nigga. Yeah, bitch ass nigga, we on that. They done let me out. Yeah, free me 'til it's backwards, nigga, I'm free. - I like that, I gotta start. You think I could do that, you think I could pull that off? You think I could wear a cardigan and talk like that? You think people would? - For sure, most gangsters I know get cardigans. - Interesting, interesting, okay. - Think about it, at the funeral, who be the best dressed, the shooter? - Of course, yeah, I didn't think about that. You know, you really onto something. - I'm telling you, bro, I'm from the suburbs, so I be trying to tell people where I'm from. Like, people go, "Yo, you from Greenbrier?" 'Cause I'm from Chesapeake, Virginia, but specifically Greenbrier, it's a nice residential area. The birds, they know the shit in the grass. - God bless. - You know what I mean? And growing up, when you from the suburbs, people would be like, "Y'all soft." I remember one time a dude was like, "I wish somebody from Greenbrier would shoot me. "Y'all don't even shoot." Bro, we're from the suburbs, we do all the same shit y'all do. It's just, we actually have the money to get out of jail. That's the difference between the hood and the suburbs. We do the same dumb shit y'all other stupid kids do. It's the same level of stupid, 'cause we hang out with y'all. - Right, right, right. - But my daddy had the connections to keep me from going to prison. - Right, you just, you got a better lawyer situation. You not working with the public defender. - Yeah, I didn't snitch, I just said the right things that got me out of jail, and you didn't know what to say. That's all that, what, like-- - I like that, I didn't snitch. I just knew the right answers. - Yeah, I shot you, but my gun was registered. It was supposed to be with me. - Sure, I've taken all the necessary precautions. - Yeah, the boat, yeah! - To be, to act crazy. - Man, listen. - Hey. - I be trying to tell people, we not soft, we smart. - That's, I like that. I'ma try to coin that. I'ma try to say it out loud, and they gonna be like, "Nah, nigga, you soft." They gonna be like, "We disagree with you, specifically." - Right, yeah, I'm looking at your jacket like, "Yeah, nigga." - Yeah, no, I see it, yeah, hey. I can only be myself. - It's too tethery. - Yeah, no. - I understand. Wait, I thought you said the gangsters be wearing cardigans, but not this style of cardigan. - Yeah, like cardigan, like tight, over top of a jacket. - I know, yeah, I know what you're talking about. - Your shit look like. You ever flipped your pocket out, looking for some change, and you pulled a pocket out? - Yeah, this is, you see, I got a lint cardigan on. - Nigga, not even lint. That's like dog hair. Somebody's dog was shedding, and they was like, "Yeah, we gonna put that on a cardigan." - Man, this is my show. - It's my fault, you right, you right. Little something something, it's yours. - It's my show. - Shout out to my man. - If anyone come on my show and tell me my shirt look like a dog hair that was in a pocket. - Bro, if it rain, I know it smell like poodle. - We just started, we just started, we just got here. - Shout out to Peter. - Yeah, 'cause I didn't realize, yeah, you right. - Yeah. - So you said you from Austin? - Yeah, now you interviewing me. Yeah, so, yeah, so tell me about what, no. - Oh. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm from Austin, and you said, you said you went down there. That's what we, we was talking about the club down there. - Yeah, before I shot, I shot a special a few years ago with 85 South, and I ran my hour at Creek in the Cave. - Yeah. - So I never played Cap City. - Okay. - I was thinking about moving out there, though, when I saw the mothership was blowing up, it was like, oh, you know what, I lived in L.A., I lived, you know what I mean, in New York, and I kinda felt like New York, I had like, okay, I was passing the summer, 10 years, 2015. - Yeah. - So I done did the whole run, I done, at all the clubs, I done did, you know, wherever I wanna be, I can go. - Yeah. - So it's like, damn, okay, now it's like, okay. I kinda found myself in this weird space where it's like, I was so young when I was doing everything, that people associate me with like this 45-year-old comic, or like, you know, this guy's been doing it 23 years, it's like, bro, I've been doing this shit 14 years. - Mm. - You know what I mean, so it's like, I just-- - How old were you when you started? - I was 18. - Oh, okay, you got in, you got in early. - Yeah, when I was 21, I was a new face at the cellar. - Oh, gosh. - Yeah. - If I was white, I would, nigga, I would be gone. - I think about this every day. - Bro, how old are you? - 35. - 35, okay, when you started? - I started when I was 24. - Okay, so yeah, so, yeah, yeah, so you know what I'm saying, but it kinda happened, things started happening fast. - Yeah, I had a similar situation, I was just older by the time I started, so it was like, it took me a second to like, I moved to New York when I was 27. - Right, okay. - And then I got on SNL when I was 31. - Yeah, so about, well, I started at 18, but that 18 to 19, I only got on stage one time, I was in college, so it was like-- - Where was this at? - Virginia State. - This is in Virginia, okay. - The Virginia State University, HBCU, you know what I mean, go Trojans. So, you know what I mean, so then when I finally left there, I'm working at IHOP, I'm getting up more, still not enough, but I'm getting up more, it's like, I was, I'm, when you're supposed to be doing something, it don't take long. - That's true. - When you're, like, I was put here to do comedy, I-- - Well, I like this, because this goes the opposite of what people normally say, where they're like, let's keep going, if it's not happening-- - No, absolutely not, absolutely not. - Where you're like, sometimes it might take 10, 15, 20, you might not, it might not happen 'til you're 45. Leonard's like, hey, two to three years, if it ain't going your way, go ahead and learn you a trade. - Now, that's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying, but it is a kind of what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, I was funny fast, immediately. So, if you're not funny, or it's then you keep going, put as much time into it as you want to, this is your time. But what I'm saying, 'cause opportunities, it might take 40 years. - That's true. - You can be, if you're funny, then, okay, keep going. - It's coming for you, it's coming. - If you're doing shows and nobody's laughing ever, ever, and not, okay, you got a couple of chuckles. I mean, 'cause there's so many delusional people in comedy. - It's crazy, you ever see somebody that is just, you ever see somebody that you'd be like, damn, they still doing it, and why? You ever see somebody where you're just like, why? You're just like, what? There used to be somebody when I was at Austin, that like, at the open mics, when they would go up, I would leave the room, 'cause it would make me uncomfortable to see them bomb like that. - I'd do that now, this time I'm just back then. These niggas just passed their clubs. I'd be like, oh yeah, I agree, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. I don't even smoke cigarettes, but I'm gonna go find one and burn it. - Yeah, it just don't, it don't feel good for me to be in there when you're doing what you do. And sometimes I'm like, brother, there's other ways to live. I'm like, is this fun for you? - This is the worst way to live if you're not good at it. - Right, that's what I'm saying. I agree with you 100%, where it's like, yeah, I think if you're, like, it's been people that I see like in their first year, and I'm just like, all right, they're not like where they're gonna be, but they're funny already. - Oh, for sure. - Well, you could see them in the first like three, four months, and you'd be like, okay, there's something here. And in five years, they gon' really be something. - Or sometimes you see somebody like, like, you know, Royale Watkins? - No, I don't know. - Royale, Def Jam, he does mixtape comedy at Gotham. Very funny, OG. His son Ross does comedy. - Okay. - And Dale's a well-thought, like, he shoots specials. He shot a couple of Mike Epps specials, Sid specials, he's a writer. - Okay. - So his train of thought, his writing process is more, it's like a deep dive into, it's not just surface-level shit. It's like, it's a surface-level thought, then he goes deep into it. - And then he's like really taking you in it, yeah. - So Ross started growing up watching his dad, so he already has that, the writing down. Now, I watched him the other night, oh, he found it funny, too. You know what I mean? Like, 'cause I was watching, I'm like, I was like, you got these great thoughts, but I ain't laughing yet. Then I just watch, it's like, also, sometimes it take you being away from home, away from, 'cause, you know what I mean? That's why I tell people, travel as soon as you can, even if it's an open mic. I was 19, I remember I took a bus from Virginia all the way to Kentucky to do Comedy Caravan. - Oh, okay. - A Greyhound, well, not a Greyhound, several Greyhounds. - Multiple, you had to transfer. - And that was one of the best, like, trips, or like, I went to Atlanta. - Yeah. - Or like, shout out to Chris "Smokey" Jones. Like, set it off, you know what I mean? Ashima Franklin, you know what I mean? All these guys, Carlos Mello. I go down there, and I'm bombing. I'm 19, I don't know what I'm doing. But being around other comics in different areas, it's like, oh, my brain, I'm in my brain being like, oh my God, like, I bombed so bad, but it doesn't even matter, 'cause I'm with comics, and I'm hearing why I bombed, and I'm seeing other motherfuckers go kill. It's like, it's, comedy's so beautiful, and it get ugly, but it's really, it's really beautiful. - It can be very ugly in a lot of ways, but also, it's like, you know, it opens up so many doors. You know what I'm saying? When you just look at like, oh, look at like, look at where all the places it took me, look at the place. I was just, I was in London, and I just got to pop in, and just like do some shows at a club in London, and I was just like, oh, what? I never would've thought I was doing this. - Nigga, I went to Ireland. Ireland had me in, I was in Ireland. Comedy had me in Ireland. - They got a festival out there, right? - The Vodafone, yeah, I did it, I think Des Bishop was booking it back then. - Okay, got you. - And I remember, I was out there, Bill Burr was headlining. It was like me, Leeza, I want to say Dan Soder, Mark was out there. We walking around, I'm drinking Guinness, like real like, I'm drinking real beer. Like foam still on my lip, three weeks later type shit. Rob Markman: It's like, your comedy is so. It can take you through that, because if you like me, where it's like, a lot of my comedy, especially now, is like, oh, I'm trying to take something serious and tell you, oh yeah, this is funny, because now that we done cried about it. So sometimes you can catch yourself in these states where it's like, oh, my energy's down, because I've been sitting here writing jokes about these sad ass topics. Rob Markman: I talk about my mama dying, you know what I mean? But it's like, I find so much funny in it, but I got to go through so much hurt to get to it. Rob Markman: I mean, it's a lot of that. Rob Markman: You feel me? Rob Markman: I was with my homie, and they were doing a screening of a prior special, the one that he did in Long Beach, I don't know, have you ever seen this one? Rob Markman: No, but I know what you're talking about. Rob Markman: It's really crazy, because it's very early in TV specials being a thing, or movie specials, and so they don't really have the production down, so when the actual special starts, the crowd is not even there. They're all the way in their seats. Rob Markman: He comes out on stage, it's still people going and sitting down, and he's talking about that. Rob Markman: But throughout that, I hadn't watched a full Richard Auer in a long time. He's so personal. Rob Markman: He's so personal, and he's so just like, "Yeah, here's some shit that really scares me. "Here's some shit that really scares me. "Here's some shit that'll really be making me sad sometimes." But then he always finds the funny in it, and I was just like, "Oh, that's where a lot of the best shit is." Rob Markman: It's the truth. Rob Markman: It's when you're really going through it, and I feel like that's part of the process, too, where when you first start, you're just like, "All right, well, I'm just going to talk about relatable shit. I'm just going to talk about, oh, you ever be playing basketball, and then this happened. You ever be at church, and this, or you ever be at school?" You're just talking about shit that feels like for everybody, and then I feel like the longer you do it, you're like, "Oh, this is shit that's just for me." Rob Markman: And then once you get there, I feel like that's where a lot of the best stuff is. Rob Markman: That's the trick. It ain't that you find the shit just for me, because it ain't just. My mama died, but I'm not the only one who mama died. But your experience with it, in the way that it felt for you, and then I bet you that relates to other people. Rob Markman: It's like a funnel, right? So, it's like you start with all this easy, "Oh, yeah, I like my favorite color green." You know, it's like, "Oh, okay." Rob Markman: Absolutely. Rob Markman: You're trying to get. So, now, it's like, my funnel this big, but everybody that hear what I'm saying is going to agree with me. Even if your mama ain't died. I tell people my mom died from something super rare. She died from a rare neurological disease. It's called Moya Moya. One in a billion people get this disease. Rob Markman: Fuck. Rob Markman: So many. So few people have had the disease that when my mom. When they found out that's what my mom had, they damn near asked us to let her die, because what it does is it chokes off the arteries in the back of your head to find the blood of your brain. So, my mom's brain was. She was basically brain dead for like a week while they was keeping her on. Because I was living in LA at the time. They wanted me to come say my goodbye so they could take her off the ventilator and everything. They damn near. Day two, they was like, "Hey, look, we trying to salvage some of this brain. Can we FaceTime you and get. So we can go and get this. Before it's just gravy in her head. Can we please?" Rob Markman: You know what I mean? Yeah. Rob Markman: So when people hear me talk about it like that, they be like, "Well, you can't believe you talking about your mom like that." Like, you should have seen what I was saying about her when she was alive. This is my mama. Right. Yeah. That's real. Rob Markman: You know what I mean? It's like people. People sometimes see me on stage and see how I talk about things, and it's like. Oh, if I talk about dating from a. From like a, "Oh, I'm saying I don't like what women do," it's like, "I'm not upset with y'all." Just because I deliver it in a certain energy, I'm not, unless I say, "I'm going to slap all you bitches." I'm not mad at y'all. Yeah. Rob Markman: It's like this is the thing. The thing is my mama dead. Yeah. Rob Markman: That's the thing. That's the thing. Now, from my mama being dead, let me tell you how y'all act. When you find out my mama dead, now you want to talk about how your mama died, but your mama died from some everyday bullshit. Rob Markman: Your mama died from something. Yeah. Yeah. Rob Markman: Something stupid. Like, if I die from high blood pressure, ain't nobody going to be like, "Oh, no. Not Leonard." I'd be sad. Rob Markman: Yeah. You'd be sad, but you ain't going to see anybody be like, "How he die?" Yeah. Uh-huh. Rob Markman: Your mama died from. I remember I had a lady tell me, "My mom died from cancer, so I get it." You don't get it. Mm-hmm. Rob Markman: You don't. Okay. Rob Markman: Your mama could fight. Mm-hmm. Rob Markman: She could have fought and won. Yeah. Uh-huh. Rob Markman: You don't know you got it. Yeah. Rob Markman: I'm a military brat. My mama go to the doctor all the time. Mm-hmm. Rob Markman: There's no way to even see that you got it coming. Mm-hmm. Rob Markman: So, no. They jumped my mama out of nowhere. She was walking down the street, jumped her. Your mama lost four fights. She had stage one, stage two. She lost all of them. It's not the same. Dying from cancer is losing four fights. It's so funny. Rob Markman: I'm saying that's four levels that you couldn't beat. It's so funny. It's so funny. Rob Markman: It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny because you describe somebody getting cancer as basically being like, "Damn, so you're not strong, huh?" So, you don't got no hands. Rob Markman: Boy, hey. So, you're just going to sit there and let that cancer beat your ass. Rob Markman: But it's like, also, my grandmother died from brain cancer. So, it's like, in the same sentence, I understand. Uh-huh. Rob Markman: But, you know what I mean? It's like- Yeah. Rob Markman: I had it too. Yeah. Rob Markman: Why would you even say? It's like, because I want you to smile. I want you to understand. I understand what you're going through. Yeah. Rob Markman: I get it. At the same time, but it's like, you on some bullshit trying to compare mama to dad. It's like, just let me have my mama dying. Let me get my little- Right. Let me have my sad moment over here without you bringing your shit into it. Rob Markman: Yeah. It's like, okay. I get it. Yeah. I don't care. Sometimes you got to tell people it's true. I don't care. Rob Markman: Yeah. Your mama died. Rob Markman: Yeah. Rob Markman: I wrote a little song to remind you. Choice Hotels, get you more of the experiences you value. The Cambria Hotels got it all, a rooftop bar, have a ball, cocktails up here feel just right. It's Cambria amazing, all right. Bring a date, your team, or even your mom, book direct at choicehotels.com. Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/specialoffer. Rob Markman: You said you was. Okay, so you was in Virginia. Rob Markman: Born in Augusta, Georgia. Okay. Rob Markman: My father's a retired lieutenant commander. I lived in Japan for three years. Okay. Rob Markman: Yeah, we lived in Sassabow, Japan. Well, 9/11 happened. We lived in out there. Okay. Rob Markman: We had just moved. Still living in the military hotel. What was 9/11 like in Japan? How did it hit y'all? Rob Markman: Nigga, I woke up in a military hotel. They told me I wasn't going to school. Interesting. Okay. Rob Markman: My daddy was gone for the next eight months. Because we're in Japan. Uh-huh. Rob Markman: Because we're in the East. Nigga, we were battling in the Middle East. Yeah. Rob Markman: He on boats. Nigga, he. They out there, they in the water, circling, waiting on some orders. Ready to do something. Rob Markman: Yeah, so it's like a lot of things shaped how I view certain things. Because it's like, for instance, with dating a woman, it's like I watched my mama have to make decisions for our family. This is 2001. This is before e-mails was really secure like that. Uh-huh. Rob Markman: This is before. We were not talking about my dad for weeks or months at a time. Yeah. People weren't really texting or nothing like that, was there? Rob Markman: There was no text in 2001? Yeah. Rob Markman: There's no form of communication with those ships. So, it's like I grew up watching a woman make household decisions without speaking to the man of the house. So, like when I ask a chick, "What you want to eat?" "I don't know." It's like, "I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. I know that sound petty." But it's like certain things, it's like you don't know. It's like I get that. I'm somebody that admit I don't know shit, but to not know. I'm hungry, I can give you something. Rob Markman: You give a couple options. Give me something to work with. Something. Something. I don't know. I'm just a girl. It's like, yeah, I'm not looking for that. Rob Markman: I really don't like just a girl. I'm just a girl. It's like- Rob Markman: I don't like that. You're 31. You're 31. You're not just. You're a grown woman. You're a mother. Rob Markman: You're a grown. You're not a girl anymore. Your daughter's a girl. Rob Markman: Yeah. Your daughter's six. That's a girl. Just say the truth. Rob Markman: And let's. Imagine you being like, "I'm just a boy." Nigga, go away. They'd say, "Get away from me. I'm just a little boy." No, you're not. Man. Bro. Rob Markman: I don't like I'm just a girl. I really don't. I don't. I'm with you on this. It's certain things I don't like. I don't like. I'm not. You ain't going to use religion against me. Rob Markman: Interesting. Speak on that. I'm celibate now. Rob Markman: For religious reasons. I'm celibate. Rob Markman: Wait, what? And what do you say when somebody tells you you're celibate? Not with this little motherfucker that you had right here. Rob Markman: What if they change their mind? What if they said, "Yeah, I was living like that." Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Rob Markman: Yeah. Go ahead. I'll be the fat step daddy, but this did come with rules, right? Ain't no. I had a chick try to. I respect it though. I respect if you want to be celibate, do what you need to do with your guy, but don't try to act like, "Oh, you don't believe in God?" We talking about two different gods. Rob Markman: Sure. Ain't no way we got the same God. Rob Markman: Absolutely. 'Cause my. Yeah. I'm not serving no nigga that want me to take care of a woman and a child and not fuck her. I'm not serving him. I'm not serving him. I'm not. I'm not serving him. Rob Markman: You got a different, cooler God. Yeah. My God, uh-uh. My God plays spades. And he don't smoke, but he always got a blunt in his ear. Rob Markman: Right. He got a blunt in his ear and a toothpick in his hand that he points to and shit. Man, yeah. I'm not playing that. What? I'm celibate. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. For sure. With proof that you be fucking breathing and walking around the house, but I'm supposed to. Okay. That's so funny to be like, "Okay, but he got to. But I'm walking around the house. He not even at the house. He got to fuck." Hit pause on the game. Come get your son, but I'm supposed to not. I'm supposed to be happy, not fuck. That be the thing. You want me to be happy? Not fucking. That makes sense. That be the thing. It's like, "Cool. This is what you want." Yeah. I can provide that, but you want me to do that with a smile on my face? I need some head. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You want me to take care of somebody else's responsibility? Uh-huh. Headless. That's going to take a little. That's going to take. Really, you talking about no head. I was trying to tell you how much head you was going to have to. Sure. Yeah. We was going to have to have a head negotiation. Come on, bro. Yeah. Be honest. Go back to being honest. I was trying to tell you how much head you was going to have to. Come on, bro. Yeah. Be honest. Yeah. Let's talk about it. I know I'm very handsome. I'm fat, though. I get it. That's not everybody's cup of tea. Yeah. I understand. Sometimes you got to sell yourself. Uh-huh. Sometimes you got to make yourself more. I can cook. Okay. You feel me? Right. Yeah. During the day? Yeah. I'm a comic during the day. This is the first time I left the house during the day in two weeks. Yeah. You come home, food cooked. Right. Shower running. Okay. I'm domesticated. Okay. I don't dirty nothing up. Okay. For the most part, shit going to be where you left it. You'd be at the house like this. I'd be at the house. Hey. You'd be at the house not touching nothing but the remote. Come on. Hey. I'd be in my room playing a game. You come in. Pick this shit. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I'm respectful. Have you been a stepfather before? I ain't never been no stepfather. I done been my mama's big friend. Yo. Yo. You don't just start out stepfather. You got to work your way into that. You been Mr. Leonard. Nah. Mr. Leonard different too. Mr. Leonard different. Explain that. Break that down. It's levels to this coming into a woman and child. You got stepfather. That's top tier. That's you in there. You paying bills and you on government forms and stuff like that. You know blood types. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. That's stepfather. You got stepdaddy. Yeah. Oh, speak on that. Stepdaddy is okay. If I could guess. No. Stepdaddy is. He just saying he one foot in, one foot out. Right. Exactly. He not 100% sure that. He not all the way present. He could drop you off at school. He can't sign you out. Interesting. He not on the forms. He not on the forms. He could drop you off. Anybody could drop you off. And they see him. They see him. They be like, "Oh, there he goes." Exactly. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We done seen him enough that. Then you got Mr. Leonard. Mr. Leonard is known. He just come around. He always got some slacks on. Right. He be fixing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He be making sure situations is together. I just don't like how Leonard and Mr. Leonard just already sound like. See what I'm saying? It's just. Mr. Leonard sounds like a man much older than you are. I will say that. It sound like my future, Mr. Leonard. I mean, you will literally. At some point, you will have to become Mr. Leonard. Man. At some point, you going to put. The slacks just going to show up at your house. The slacks going to show up. You going to. Some slacks and some hard bottoms. You going to have some Steve Harvey hard bottoms on. I hate fat niggas and slacks because we always got. Some of our stomach in them. Oh, shit. You're right. When you wrapping it around. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. Then you tuck the shirt in. Then it's all. Yeah. No, I know what situation you talking about. Yeah, bro. Your daddy fat? No. Not really. No. Yeah. My daddy ain't fat either. I come from a. My dad's side is skinny. My mom's side thick. My mom. Yeah. My. Yeah. Okay. We got similar. My daddy. My daddy. My daddy look just like me, but skinny with green eyes. My daddy. I got a fine daddy. Green eyes? My daddy got green eyes. He's a lot brighter than me. Okay. He not light-skinned. He brown-skinned. Okay. Got you. Green eyes. Wow. Green eyes. Yeah. Okay. He was cleaning up. You had the green eyes back in the day? That's me. Nigga had the green eyes in the military. Yeah. In Taiwan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With 12 American dollars. 1,500 Taiwanese dollars. Yeah. Yeah. With $12 in American. Yeah. That man was having a beautiful time. Come on, man. My mom was trying to catch him cheating. I'm like, "Mom, you don't know nobody over there." You don't know what to say? Let that man. You don't got the language skills to ask the right questions, mama. Man. So maybe let's just leave him be. The bills is paid. Yeah. We in a nice house. We in a good neighborhood. You over here overcooking baked beans and shit because you stressed about whether he can. Let him. Let him do his thing in peace, mama. If he is. I don't know. That's one thing I feel bad for. We not here to ask some type of questions. Not on My Favorite Lyrics. She never caught him. I ain't never. This a lyric program. We not trying to figure out what his daddy was doing in the 90s. Hey, daddy. I love you, my man. My daddy remarried. Happy as hell. Shout out. Shout out to Pops. Shout out to Pops. Shout out to Leonard. Yeah. Shout out to. Okay. Big Leonard. Not. Whoa. I mean, yeah, he. We got time. Let's. Yeah. Go ahead. Because my mom used to do that. Okay. Because my daddy's skinny. I'm fat. Uh-huh. So it was. So your daddy would be Big Leonard. Technically. Right. Because. But my mom used to be like, "Little Big Leonard." It's like, "Stop. You're playing your ass extra hard because you playing with his ego." Little Big Leonard is so. Or she'd be like, she'd just scream out, "Leonard!" We'd be like, "Which one?" "The big one." Then he'd go, "The other one." She'd be like, "Not you dismissed him by saying the other one." Well, because then inevitably he's getting called Little Leonard in his own house. Now it's go cut the grass. Right, right, right. "Dude, I thought we was watching a movie." No, no, no. The movie getting cut off. The game getting put away. Yeah. I'm watching them grades. It's summertime. I ain't even in school. Right. Yeah. No, I see that. When your daddy want to get on your ass, he going to find something. It's always something to do. That's all. My dad, he made me clean the garage. If I was. He made me go in the garage when it was hot outside. He'd be like, "Hey, go straighten that shit up in the garage." That was. Yeah. See, that ain't nothing. I remember I got in trouble one time. This nigga had me dig. He made a whole concrete deck in the backyard. Oh my God. Made me dig up the ground. Oh, you was doing construction? Yeah. But I was a fat kid. So when you already a big kid. They already give you like. They're trying to find. Man jobs. Oh, I see. Because you was Big Leonard. You was Lil Big Leonard. Yeah. I'm out. You eat like a man. You my will. Oh, yeah. We changing. Yeah, we changing fucking ceiling fans. I'm like six holding a 30 pound ceiling fan like this. Arms ready to give in. Your arms ready to give in at that dinner table. Like, nigga, why? Why we doing this? What? That's very funny. I wrote a little song to remind you that I'm not a big fan of the big man. I'm a big fan of the big man. I wrote a little song to remind you, Choice Hotels gets you more of the experiences you value. The Cambria Hotel's got it all. A rooftop bar, have a ball. Bring a date, your squad, or even your mom. Book direct at choicehotels.com. Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana 100% online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you. Your car is here, Mr. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to get it delivered to your door. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr. Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall, and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10 once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. I mean, you was bouncing around. You was a military. Oh, yeah, so I went from Japan back to Virginia. Then we moved from Japan to Virginia. That's where I grew up. That's where I lost my virginity. That's where I got beat up. I mean, I got beat up in Japan, too, but you know what I mean. It was beating you with the military kids or the Japanese kids? Military kids. Okay, good, good, good. I got in a fight. Okay, I wanted to, because remember, did you ever see the new Karate Kid movie with Jaden Smith where he's just getting his ass beat by those Asian kids? I remember it. Okay. I just wanted to see if that's, it wasn't like that for you. Nah, hell no. I wouldn't get chased around them. Okay. I never understood that. I never understood. Which part? If you know you can't fight, why would I tire myself out and then not be able to fight? I'm able to take my ass whooping right here. Gotcha. You got hands? Yeah, I can fight. Okay. Like, how long, though? That's a great question. Yeah. It depends. Like, I'm not looking for- Because ultimately, really, if you think about it, fights only really be lasting like 30 seconds. Like, fights really be, fights be kind of like- 30 seconds is a lot. Oh, that's a long time. 30 seconds? Because normally somebody get involved. Normally somebody comes, you know, y'all going to get- Oh, no. I'm talking about if we fighting. I'm talking about we fighting. We in a room. There's nobody. And then we fighting. Yeah. It depends. About 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Okay. But strong 15. Oh, for sure. You going crazy. If it's 15 seconds of, I done hit you, boom. Okay. I done seen how you eat that. Okay. Boom. Sometimes you might hit a motherfucker, boom. Okay. Now I got to grab this nigga and scream. Sometimes, hey, you got to know who you are, bro. Like, my hands are seemingly quick. But if I hit you, ah, and you're like, oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes it's time to ask for help. Now it's like, hey, all right, my bad. Sometimes you got to reach back out to the community and say, hey, hey, let's all get involved with this. Remember as a kid, you ever hit somebody with something? And then they get it from you. They tell you, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm me. Interesting. Yeah, no, I see what you're talking about. It's a certain type of dude where you punch him and he starts smiling. Oh, yeah. He starts smiling. Anytime any type of shit like that go down, you got to exit from the situation. The thing for me, I'm very absurd. Because where I'm from, I don't know. I've seen a lot of niggas get jumped. I'm very, like, that's why I'm, niggas be like, why you always, I move certain type of, because I know my body type. My body type is caught in the bullshit. So I make sure my section, if I'm at a club, my section is somewhere near exit. Yeah. I make sure, I keep, I take precautionary. Ready for the bullshit at all times. Yeah, because I know I'm, I'm jumpy. You're jumpable. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, I'm very jumpable. Okay. But I'm jumpy. Like, if I'm out and you make me feel uncomfortable. Oh, you're ready to move around. I got you. No, I'm ready to. Like, I'm the type, you'd be like, oh, damn, big boy hit that nigga for no. No one for no reason. I picked up on them clues. You was funny to be on bullshit. Interesting. I'm the worst one to. Because I don't mind taking a loss, but I'm not funny. You're not funny to get. You're not funny to hit me and I got to try to get up. I'm the fat nigga on video trying to get up off the ground? No. That's a terrible situation. Remember that video where DaBaby beat up that dude at the mall? Oh, yeah. He beat up that dude at the mall and then that dude was. Cold cam or some cam cold, some shit like that. Something like that. And he was trying to stand up and his pants was falling down. And his asshole was loose. Yeah. That's really. You never want to end up in a situation like that. I wonder where that man is today. Was that Charlotte? That was Charlotte. I don't know where yet. Well, hey, if you're listening and whatever your name was. Can't. Cam. Cam something. Cam something. Cam something. Hey, wherever you are, if you're listening, we know that you are. Hope you're doing all right. Hey, man. Don't. I hope your pants is up. Hope you don't end up in that situation again because I don't know if I would have recovered from what happened to you. Well, we know he can't go back in Louis V. Yeah. No matter all Louis V stores. Leonard, can you tell us when you was coming up, what kind of music were you on? Growing up for me, I know it's not popular now. My daddy had me listen to a lot of R. Kelly. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. That was the time for it. That was the, you know. But for me, it's definitely. I mean, obviously, the Clips, Pharrell, Pusha T. Yeah, yeah. Because that's all that. That's where I'm from. I went to school. Middle school with Malice's son. Oh, word. Yeah, his son. His son. How old is this? He got. A year older than me. 34. Whoa. Okay. So, he had a kid, like, kind of early. Like, he had a kid the whole time. Yeah. Like, the whole time we knew about him, yeah. Okay. I actually didn't. I didn't know that. Yeah. We went to middle school together. Okay. I mean, Wayne, you know, I came up into Wayne, Ross. Yes. Drake, you know, Nicki Minaj. You know, you got the. Wait, how old are you? How old are you? I'm 33. Oh, okay. We're the same age. That's why I was like. Yeah. I was like, yeah, this is all the shit I was listening to. You thought I was old? What you thought I was? I thought I was about 40. I thought you was. I thought you was maybe 38. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm 33. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's. Yeah, that's a lot of the shit I was listening to. I was really. Carter III Wayne. Come on, man. Carter II Wayne. All the dedications, all that. Dedication III. Come on. Yeah. I got a real dick. Come on, man. Shorty from Cuba still working on her visa. My homegirl Lisa met her in Puerto Rico. How she don't suck dick, but it's bad to me to eat her. Come on, it comes back. Come on, bro. It all came back. I'm trying to tell you. It all came back. It don't add up. It don't make sense. It don't make sense. Wait, how did you land at Charlotte? Because you was in. You did New York. You did LA. I was in LA, and my boy Kuda from New York was living in Charlotte, and he was talking about getting a crib. So I was like, oh, shit. I'll put in on that. Boom. Put in. Had a little NBC money at the time. Respect. Put in on it. Then pandemic hit, and I went out there and stayed out there for two years while I was trying to see what's going to happen to this writer's strike. Me and my boy Vince Bryant had a show over at BET with CBS Studios, and then the writer's strike happened. So then, you know. That fucked a lot of people's situations up. A lot of people. A lot of people that was like, oh, yeah, I got this deal that's about to. I got me. I think this show about to go. You know how many times I'd have had the minion right here? Right. And I was like. Here we go. You already starting to. You already thinking about it. You're like, ooh, I'm going to. Okay. So I've been thinking about getting a car, so I'm going to probably get that over. Like, yeah. Yeah. I be right there. You watch. You at the table. They making a plate. And they say, you know what? They done shut the whole kitchen down. Yeah. Yeah, we actually. We not doing that right now, actually. Why? What y'all need in the back? I'll go back there and do it. Right, right, right. I can help with whatever y'all. I could. Who mad about writing something? I'll write it. Right. It ain't going to be good, but I'll write it. I'll get it done. I hear you. So, you know. That's why I was in Charlotte, man. I was depressed. I was trying to figure out life. I was going through that thing where it's like, oh, shit. Oh, I was second guessing everything. Yeah. So much of me. Like I said, I started at 18. Yeah. So much of me was invested in. In comedy, because once again, I feel like this is what I was put here to do. And when it's like taken away from you several times without, you know, like the joy, not like comedy, but like, you know, to a certain extent it was taken away when that year we couldn't really get on stage and you know what I mean? Like, it's like, damn. So now I can't even talk about my mama dying. I can't even. I'm just sitting here with these sad thoughts and the remembrance of money. The money, the ghost of the money that was almost there. And the money I just spent. Remember, I was on the NBC show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But once again, I was 24 at the time. I spent that money. Yeah. It go faster than people realize. It go 24 in LA. Yeah. What? That's a lot of things to spend that money on. A lot of flights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of. Well, I watched some. I watched you do a bit about how you be. You fly women out. That's the thing. This is. You said it. Yes. No. I will for sure. Yeah. purchase a flight. Yeah. For somebody I'm interested in. Right. Okay. Yeah, for sure. But it's like also. Because then women get to. No, I'm not just buying flights for. It's a. Break it down for them. There's two tiers of me spending my money. Okay. It's. Oh, I'm spending my money. I don't like you for real. You don't like me for real. You come to LA and, hey, you sucking. We fucking. Yeah, yeah. It's an even exchange. You coming for the experience and I'm trying to experience that. And that's not what I. I should be doing because that's not going. I'm a lover boy. Interesting. I am. Okay. All right. But it's like also I'm a lover boy in a world where they don't want to. That's not what they're looking for. That's not what. Well, I think if I could guess, to me, I think if you're starting out at the. I'm buying stuff for you off rip, now you're not setting a lover boy precedent. You don't. No, nigga. You. No. No, no, no. Okay. Go ahead. You thinking about it from a regular human process. Versus what? Versus. Nigga, I'm in an entertainment. I'm in entertainment and never dated before at 24. Interesting. Okay. So, nigga. Also, yeah, I'm speaking about this as a man in his 30s. As a man who's. Who started at 27, 24. You dated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a little bit more. I'm 24. I live in LA. First, I live in LA. Yeah. So, there's no meeting a girl at the park and it's. No. You don't think everybody meeting in the park in LA? Come on, bro. Not the type of women. No. Not where you looking at. Okay. And then also at the time. I also was looking for the wrong things. Once again, I'm. I was 24 and everything you're seeing is bad bitches on Instagram. This is what you're supposed to want. This is what you. It's a lot of that. So, until you learn what you. It's like, oh, I don't need. I'd have had all the pretty bitches. I'm cool. I want somebody to care about me because I'm a caring person. Yeah, that's. Which is why I say I had to learn. It's like, oh, yeah. Like, somebody I like because it's different. Like, if I'm just trying to fuck, I understand what comes with that. Because at the end of the day, that's just an amusement park. No, I'm saying, though. No, I hear what you're saying. You know, when you're going to the amusement park, nigga, cotton candy, $12. Right, right, right. You know you got to spend. And if you. But also, if I don't have it or want to do that, I don't have to do that. That's true. But so, like, even now, when I'm dating, I'm like, hey, and on the way for us to really be able to be serious if we're not living in the same city, we got to spend time together. So, it's like, I'm openly dating. If I'm openly dating and talking to three women, they live in three different cities. Okay, cool. I'm going to Chicago next weekend. Oh, well, if you. I don't know. I'll come if you can fly me out. Okay. The next one. Well, I mean, I can go half on my flight. Okay. Okay. The other one. Oh, shit, you know what? That's only a four-hour drive. I drive. There it is. And that's where we found it. But then it's also like, damn, so it's like, okay, cool. It's like. And to say I'm fucked up, it's like, this is what women do. It's just like, I'm weighing my options. It just looks. They try to demonize it when it's a man doing it. I'm weighing my options. If I. If. Okay, but then it's also like, damn. Okay, the one that's driving, she's celibate. So then it's like, okay, but the one that got half, she's sucking dick. I'd rather go half with the dick sucker. You're weighing the options. I'm weighing the. You're looking at everything on paper just seeing where the measurables add up. Because I'm not looking for. It's like the NFL draft. Really, it is. Because it's like, at the end of the day, I know how fucked up that might sound to some people, but it's just me being honest. This is the truth. This is the truth. Like, I don't want to. I don't want to give up my comfortability for no reason. I respect it. Because that's the end of the day. If I just got to jack off and play my PlayStation, that's cool. That's absolutely cool. Am I tripping? No, like, no, I'm saying. No, no, you're right. And you know, and ultimately, that's not a bad day. That's not a bad. That's not a bad day. I done did two shows. Right. I done sold a little merch after. Right. I done ate good. Come on. Come on, now I'm in the room. Nigga, two on me, two on me. I'm good. I'm good. You don't need too much else. I don't need too much else, bro. And so it's like, I've gotten to a point now as a man, it's like, yeah, this is what I need to be happy. I need a woman that care about me, that believe in me, care about me. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I don't want nobody ugly, but if it come to that, you know, if I love you enough, cool. I ain't. Of course. I ain't tripping off that. That's beautiful. Yeah. I know I ain't nobody's, you know what I mean? I mean, I ain't ugly, but you know, if you ain't got a double wide pantry, I might not be the place. Like, you don't. If you ask shit like, I'm saying, you eat like this all the time? Yeah, bitch. Yeah, move. You want. You said another scoop? Bitch, more on the plate. - Leonard, you came to us with some lyrics today. - I'm just saying, there's nothing worse than a bitch half-assing your plate. Now, I know how to make my man plate. Do you? Do you know how? 'Cause last time they had more potato salad than mac and cheese, and I need to talk to you about your proportions. All this starch. Then you want me to fuck all night. Stomach full of starch. - You came to us with some lyrics today. Let's dig into 'em. You came to us with two songs. I'll pass this to you, and I'll let you. You can talk about whichever one you want. There's the first one right here. - Oh, yeah. - And there's the second one right here. - Let's go with the first one, man. - Okay. - It's a rapper, bro. I was watching. So, Fetty P. I was a big fan of Fetty P. I'm following him. I saw a video he was tagged in. And the beat was going crazy. I'm like, "Who is. " I'm like, "What is this?" And then it was a nice-skinned nigga came on, started rapping. And I'm watching. I'm like, "This nigga named Cartel Bo." The nigga hook so crazy. - Yeah. - The nigga hook. It's simple, but it's like. It just go high school dropout, Mr. Pull Up and Hop Out. First off, he oughta let you know, I ain't finished school. And nigga, if you hear that I'm outside with you. - Yeah. - Trying to rebound a nigga bitch, I gotta box out. Now, let me tell you something. If that ain't. If that ain't, nigga, you done threw your bitch off the backboard, don't move. You don't wanna. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let me see what's up. - Yeah, I'm jumping up in the air like. - I'm jumping up two hands. - Like Kevin Garnett. - Bro, what? - Gimme that. - What was that white boy that played for the Heat? - Birdman? - Well, I'm Birdman. Oh! What? Gotta box out. - Yeah. - Baby got money out on the floor, she playing hopscotch. It's all about money. - Yeah. It's so much money on the floor, this bitch done started dancing. - I like that. - Niggas ain't even swept the floor yet, they getting mopped out. So now he's saying, nigga, the floor. We whooping ass so bad, they. DoorDash to pack to you. - Mm-hmm. - So now that's. He's selling drugs. - Right. - And he's saving gas and time. - Right, 'cause he sent it with a delivery driver. He's got a courier. - Uber me some Louis Vs. I didn't know you could Uber. - I'm not sure that you can. To be honest. I don't think that's a real. - I think if you got enough money, you can do whatever. - That's true. If you got enough. If you really got it like that, I'm sure you establish a relationship with the Louis Vuitton people, and then they probably could send it to you. - I don't even think you gotta do that. You just tell the Uber nigga, "Hey, I'm gonna give you $300. Go on Louis V and buy this." - Interesting. - And I'm gonna give you. Yeah. - I never even thought about that. - That got me living underwater. I feel like Scuba Steve. - Yeah. - Boy, what kind of nigga you think you is if it's just you and me? This the line right here. - Yeah. This bitch spinning on her head like she Booker T. - Now, at first, sometimes you hear the song, I'm like, "Bitch spinning money on her head like she Booker T." I'm not thinking. I said, "Oh, Booker T used to spin like a. " - The wrestler, yeah. - That's the type of money I wanna have. - Yeah. It feels possible. - Not to make a. 'Cause I don't want you to spin on your head like Booker T, but I just wanna. Just to have that much money. - Mm. - But you could make a bitch. - Right. - Imagine you had enough money right now to make a bitch do the people's elbow. - Yeah, that's special. That's really special. - Man, you got no money. Bitch, do the eyebrow. - Yeah. - Come on. - If you can make a woman do whatever wrestling stunts you would like her to, just 'cause of your financial situation. - Not even make her. - Yeah. - He ain't make her. - She just want to. - The money on the floor. She know I got the money. She just start spinning on her head like she Booker T. - That's beautiful. That's beautiful. No, this is special. I never heard this song before. It's called "Scooby Steve." - This is incredible. Yeah. This is really good stuff. - I'm trying to take. Trying to rebound a nigga. Bitch, I got a box out. - I do like that. I like. I like talking about catching women off the rebound. - Wait, hold on, hold on. - Go ahead. - Niggas say. Nigga, one verse he say, "Put your own work in right here. You cannot ride for me. Spending money over and over and over like I got a time machine." - I like that. - Bitch, you can go anywhere you want. Just don't be lying to me. Niggas must be hiding their money or something. They funds in privacy. Bitch, I threw about 60,000 ones. That wasn't even cocky me. Whoo. I ain't on that "What's your name and number, little bitch?" Gon' fly to me. - Okay. A man after your own heart. - Come on, man. - Y'all speaking the same language. - That bitch get her hair done every day like cosmetology. - Like it. - Bitch, I put some S's on that money like apostrophe. We cannot just kick it. Got to coach her like a soccer teacher. You ain't going to want to stand next to me, boy, if your pockets weak. Then they go right back to the hood. High school dropout, Mr. Pull Up and Hop Out. - I like this. This is real cold shit-talking. - Cold shit-talking. Big light-skinned nigga. - Whoa. I got to see him. And speaking of big light-skinned nigga, let's go to your second song. - Oh. Is he light-skinned? - I don't know what he's got, but I only. So I've been hearing this song because the girls have been doing dances to it, so I've been seeing that a lot. I didn't see what he looked like until the XXL Freshman freestyle dropped, and then I seen him. And I said, "Well, hold on." So this dude, his name's Belly Gang Cushington, which also, it sounds like a joke name. - Boy, it sounds crazy. I thought it was a group name or something. It seems like if I was writing a show and I wanted to write a silly rapper name, I would maybe write something like- - That would be my name. - Belly Gang Cushington. I show up no shirt, jacket, though. - Can I tell you something? You ever go shirtless? I like when a big dude goes shirtless. I think it's a cool. - First off, pause. Let's just start there. Pause. - You ever go shirtless? - Yeah, I do. - Why? What about my nipples do you like? - It's not about the nipples, really. It's not specifically nipple-related. I respect it. I like when a. Well, yeah, I'm hearing what you're saying now. - Secondly, yes, you would love hanging out with me, then. Yes. - Okay, you'd be shirtless? - Man, what? - Come on. - I'm sure there's probably. Somebody got hella screenshots in their phone. When I. You remember, I was 24. - Yeah. And you was lit. You was on TV. - Lit. - You was feeling yourself. - I was feeling the world was feeling me. The world was feeling me. Respect. - Well, I'm talking about what? Dallas. Lit. Shirt off. But I'm. What? Yeah, I'm shirt off. I'm shirt off shawty. - I like that. I like that. - I get hot in the club, shirt off. - I like that. I like. When Rick Ross be shirtless, I'm like. I think it's something cool about it. It's something cool about it. It's like, let's be ourself. - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, 'cause it's like what? The shirt, this don't. You know there's titties under here. - And that's the thing. - That's right. Anytime I see a fat dude with his shirt on in the pool, I'm always like. - It's like, why? It's like, why? - Brother. - We know I'm built bad. We all know, we know that I could do better. We know that. There's no need for us to. Why? Now I'm swimming against the current and the shirt. No, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? - That's the thing. I'm like, I know you heavy in that shirt. That shirt's weighing. You're not feeling. It don't feel good. - 4X don't feel good unwet. So, you think a wet 4X shirt feels. - Right. - Like a wave pool just weighed down. - That's why I like hood bitches. - Yeah. - Ghetto bitches, because ghetto bitches. And I say this because ghetto bitches, they got a way of protecting what they want, what they feel is theirs, because I'm from the suburbs, so more dainty, more like, "Oh, I mean, I like you, but I'm kind of worried about what people might. " Ghetto bitches will never worry about what people are saying because they know they're going to talk. Ghetto bitches will be like, "No, this is my fat nigga." - Mm. Mm-hmm. - So, now I've dealt with so many of them, I'm like, "Oh yeah, bitch, if you don't act like that, I don't even want you around me." - Got you. Don't tiptoe around it. - Yeah. What I'm talking about, I done been with beautiful women, I'm talking about fine, like, I know niggas be like, "Man, what you doing?" - I believe you. - And dabbing me up with, "I'm sweating," like little shit like that make me know, "Oh, you fuck with me." - Yeah, you really right. - You ain't like. Wipe your face. I had to be telling them, "Wipe your face, you're sweating." Bitch, it's 100 degrees and 90 niggas in this section. Yeah, I'm sweating. We in here drinking Hennessy straight? - Yeah. - Bitch, I'm ready to. - It's warm in here. - It feel like niggas finna fight in here. - Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So yeah, that's why I look at how. You got to look at how they treat you. - Why do you think it's like. What do you think this is? I've never really been able to discern where this comes from. Why is it, when it's like a black function, why is it always so hot in there? It don't be. The white people parties are never warm in that same type of way, and I've never been able to figure out what that's about. I never been able to figure out what that's about. - You ever been to a white people party where it's like the walls are sweating? - Yeah, because they ain't dancing. - Maybe that's what it is. - They ain't dancing. They not talking about nothing. - They not moving in no real way. - Ain't nobody in there smoking no weed. - Yeah. Interesting. - Yeah. - Okay. Maybe that's what it is. - 100%. - Yeah. No, it makes sense. Not that we breaking it down. No, I get you. - Even the most lit white party you ever been to. - It's not. - Nigga, it's a violin. It's. - You know what? The dancing is 100% the answer, because it's like. At the most lit white party you've ever been at, they're doing kegs dance. Which doesn't. - It's not dancing. - It's not getting the people not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot of. - Even a rave. - It's white women flipping their hair around a lot. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They love a hair flip. - Yeah, them white parties. Yeah, I don't want. Yeah, you don't want to be around no sweated out white party. - I never been to one. - You haven't? - I mean. - I never even seen it. - What I'm saying, you wouldn't want to. - No, I don't want to. - You've been to a white party, but you've never been to a white. Imagine you was at a. - No, where it's sweaty and so on. - They done fuck around and forgot what year it is. "What are you doing here, boy?" "Oh!" - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we both from the south. - You feel me? - We done been in some parties where we like. - I don't know. We're not supposed to really. - Yes, I might got to go ahead and. - Yeah. - I might go ahead and get. You open that door and see that confederate flag. - Man, what they said, "No, y'all good," but it's like, "Why he's good, got an E.R. on it." I'm ready to go home. The Cambria Hotels got it all. Cocktails up here feel just right. Bring a date, your team, or even your mom. See you on the roof. Is your closet ready for summer? I used to dread shopping, hours browsing online, or fighting the store with no guarantee I'd find anything I liked. That's why Stitch Fix is my secret weapon. My stylist knows the trends and what actually works on me, then sends it straight to my door. Free shipping, free returns, no subscription needed. Get started today at stitchfix.com. com. That's stitchfix.com. You brought us a song from Belly Gang. What's Belly Gang talking about? What's this song called? This song called No Jewelry. This song's so gangsta, it's just the way he. First off, just the way he talk coming into it. He got a cool voice. He got a really cool. He's supposed to be doing this. Hey, one thing a rap nigga can never be is like me, nigga. Don't none of this shit make me, nigga. I put on these cars. Nigga, I put these clothes up. Nigga, I take this jewelry off right now, nigga. That nigga. Your headphones? Yes. I be like, damn, I wish I was gangsta like that. Yeah. Because I fit. Some of these lyrics, I feel them. He's like, nigga, this how I rap without no jewelry. That's how I feel about comedy. Okay. Say more. Yeah, nigga, this how. Yeah, bro, I can do that crowd work shit, but nigga, this how I do this shit. But you really. Yeah, you don't got to. I take all that extra shit off. Yeah. This what this for, y'all. That's why I shot my special in a black tee at a comedy club. Ain't no fancy. I do this shit just because I do this shit. I like that. Come on, man. I like that. Nigga, I hope this hoe I nutted didn't come on her, period. Already. Second line, nigga. He's preaching to the choir. He got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Preaching to the choir. Yeah, y'all locked in. Okay. Nigga had called me white. I think he fooled by my appearance. I really had wanted to get that nigga killed, but it ain't that serious. You ever had to calm yourself down? You ever had to be like, I get. You know what? It ain't even that serious. You know, because I am white, technically. Well, that's. You know, sometimes I wish you would kind of just be like, hey, I'm. He not white, though. He's daddy black. But, like, he got red hair. That's a pigment thing. That ain't. Well, then who's white? If he not white, then who's white? She white. Your producer white. Yeah, and they got the same. Same complexion. Nah, his shit a little ashy. He got that ashy look. His shit ain't white, bro. I'm not. What about. You know the rapper Logic? You know who that is? I heard that name. Hold on. I'm going to bring him up, and I'm going to ask you if this is a white rapper or not. If his mama and daddy white, then yes. He got a. He got like a. He got. That's a white boy to you? He's more white than Billy Gang. Interesting. Interesting. But do you think that might also. That might also just be like a. Pull Billy Gang up right now and tell me that they don't look deceivingly different. Well, but I think it also might just be like a stylistic. Oh, the style of mixed. Yes, yes. Niggas trying to put classes on me and mixed niggas. It's crazy. But kind of, though. Kind of. There is different classes of mixed dudes. Yeah, nigga, look. You can tell, like, he don't look regular white. That ain't. No. It's. I see how you can say he white. Yeah. Billy Gang, I'm a fan, bro. I'm not. I'm not saying he. I'm not saying. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He ain't saying. But yeah, you. Yeah. But I'm just like, if you see this man. But shout out to him. Shout out to him. He can rap his ass off. He can rap. And he black. And he black. And he black as well. Here's what I'll say, though, Leonard. Anybody look at a picture of me or you, they not having a look. They not have a look for a long time. But yeah. He mixed and he. I seen a picture of him. He look. All the best kids around. All the little bad neighborhood kids. And he in there, it's like, he look like the worst one. I'm telling you, he black. He probably was. He black. For sure. He probably was the worst one. I don't doubt. He probably had to be the worst one. Because he had red hair. And I'm sure. I'm sure that was on his head. And I know he black because the way he act. Okay. I see. And the way he say. Yeah, bro. What? Niggas ain't tried him. Yeah. You know, we be quick to. Hey, what you mean you a nigga. I see what you're saying. Nah, everybody in Atlanta like, nah, he straight. No, I believe it. I believe he like that. I'm not doubting that. I'm just saying. That man can rap his ass off. No, he really be rapping. He really be rapping. I'm not taking nothing from the man. Nah, I'm not. Just in case, you know. He go viral. Yeah, that's it. And I will say. See, he said in the song, he wanted to get in the cute. And that's it. So, hey. Hey, look at me. I'm not even trying to. I'm with you. Nigga, that's how I rap without no jury. He don't know the song. I ain't even saying the song. Look at my cardigan. I'm not really. I'm not trying to. I'm just trying to hang out, brother. He's saying it too neat. I'm pussy. So. I ain't one of these niggas trying to play tough. Not at all. You come press me, I'm going to make you look bad. I'm going to say, nah, you as black as you want to be, brother. I'm like, sir. Yeah. How could you have ever thought that I would ever even conspire against you? No, yeah. I play pussy all the time. I don't care. I'm going home. I'm going to make it home. I'm with you. I'm with you on that. But anyway, the belly gang, the belly gang song, that's. You got anything else you want to. Hey, man. chat on in relation? Okay. That nigga. I mean, the nigga just good, bro. He good. He really. And I like the song. His is like one really big. I like. I fuck with that song. The one with him in 21? The one that the girls be dancing to, where he's like, I got a pocket full of money. Who the fuck on? Yeah, that one. Who on? It's okay if you on. I get it. I understand. We all got to make our money some kind of way. Lemon pepper wings. Nice night nigga bought you two shots. You feeling lit? And he got a pocket full of money? Come on. You the fuck for less. For not. I ain't going to never. Hey. Go ahead. I ain't going to never disrespect you for doing what's right in the moment. Never. Never that. Hey. Because if the right woman come to me with. Hey. I'm going. Right. That's why I feel like. I think that's what women sometimes. We make it seem like, oh, duh-duh. It's like, no. Hey, baby. I understand. Right. Because if motherfucking Ken the man came up to me and was like, look, man. I got a section over here. I got a bottle. I'm going to tell the bottle girl, bring a hundred wings. What you trying to do? Eat pussy? I'm trying to drink, eat wings, and pussy. And that's. I'm going. And like you said, we done had worse days. I done had. We done had much worse days. Can I bring my PlayStation? Probably. I'm going. It's worth asking. I'm going. I'm simple. Come on. I'm simple. Before we get out of here, we got a couple of voicemails from some women. Oh, okay. Let's see what they're talking about. I wrote a little song to remind you. Choice Hotels gets you more of the experiences you value. See you on the roof. Some personality quirks are really funny. Like, I talk to my left foot more than I talk to my right. You know what's not funny and not a personality quirk? OCD. Although the term OCD is widely recognized, it's misunderstood by most people. It doesn't mean being tidy or clean. It's having obsessive fears, thoughts. And urges. You question your character. You question your safety. That's OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to nocd.com to learn more. Hey, Devin. My name is Tadewa. I've been listening since probably episode one or two. Respect. Whichever one had Alex English in it. That was the first one. I've been fucking with it so far. Keep going. Thank you. Don't blow your nose. This is Alex English and I'm going to tell you that I love the way you be. Yeah, bro. I'd be scared of hearing my fans. This man is going to be so excited that we picked his voicemail for the first like 10 seconds. And then he's going to hear that part and be like, God damn it. He listened to every episode until this one. He sounded like all you need is 10 seconds to come. They talked about it. Mom, get out of here, mom. To continue to voice. Keep going. The lyric that I wanted to bring up was a Will Smith lyric. I grew up on Will Smith. My parents and my dad never let me listen to rap music. Oh, OK. With like explicit language. I really have to keep it on the cuff. So when we was in the car, it was DJ Jabby Jeff, Fresh Prince. You know, I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. The millennium shit. The song I'm bringing up is getting jiggy with it. And the lyric that I heard on the radio while I was at work. bothered me so the line was uh let's see give it to your friend let's spin everybody looking at me glancing a kid wishing it was dancing today here with this handsome kid stick a cigar right from Cuba Cuba I just bite it it's for the look I don't like it the put cigars in his mouth yeah and doesn't like them that is the lamest corniest I'm sorry like I really grew up like was the guy he could do no wrong and it all went downhill the moment he made an instagram and just it feel like every piece of information just just killed his reputation the thing that only brought me back the only thing that brought me back was when he's such a long voicemail i've ever seen let me don't even play we're not condoning that because he slapped chris rock that's why you shut your lame ain't never been in the field there it's up i don't even want to i don't anyone i don't even know kadira cadaver whatever your name is shut up listen to podcast and stop stop calling people and leaving messages talking about you stopped he would be god and the only thing made me come back was he slapped another man even though he was wrong and slapping him that's why that's why i'd be at home smoking weed because y'all lame ass y'all be lame as hell i'm sorry i know this i know it's probably unprofessional it's okay you dude bro you real even if y'all don't post it send me this clip i want him to know but that's the lamest you could have said like that's the lamest and i and i'm not even a chris i'm a chris rock fan of com but chris rock cool i'm tony my brother yeah but chris cole i don't with chris like that but that's lame as hell you you oh i start back uh his lyric was whack and then but because he slapped the at the oscars six years ago now it made me oh i can't shut up it's also like what a what a whack it's it's such a crazy bar to be like and he lost me he lost me what he said he had a cigar because he was right because he has also which is the thing that people do that all the time most times you see with cigars they haven't lit it yet yeah it's just like walking around with that's actually like a very normal thing to do and for him to be like and i never listened to him he's a basement dweller i'm telling you for him to be like first he was like will smith was the god which you know fresh prince i did come up off of that that was i interview a certain age i did you didn't with fresh prince fresh print no but we're talking about lyrics fresh prince oh yeah yeah once will smith had one song that might listen to well also he i feel like when he was actually cool was like before we was around like in the 80s like in the 80s i feel like he had some going by the 90s he was he was a movie star he was a movie star who also would do like soundtrack songs for like the wild wild west so i wouldn't say he was like all right but it's like he wasn't like the one or a rapper no no that wasn't really he was an entertainer a great entertainer all around entertainer don't got no grammys that don't got no he actually won the first rap grammy fun fact that ain't fun you supposed to just let me walk off thinking that i was right damn my baby my baby my baby does it seem fun no it didn't no it didn't damn what do you want a grammy for the best rapper he was the he was the first rap album for best rap album or the first grammy for best rap album he's probably the only one in the category uh probably i probably i bet you we probably don't recognize the other the other ones it was it was also like 1988. it was like before we was really yeah i'm sorry i should i should i should let you rock dog yeah you should have that's what i think you are you one of them furry cardigan i already know that's crazy he doing this on my show that's hey bro that's why he on my show he at my house talking about my cardigan at first we was on the same page with the cardigan i was trying to downplay myself with the cardigan he said no no no you good and then a mere two to three moments later now we got a different situation now we talk about now we talk about the cardigan different you see you see how you see how exactly you see how you see how look at it look at it look at it he was smiling at first he was oh yeah yeah oh yeah we cool we cool we cool next thing you know we talking about my look like when you flip your pocket inside out you see how he's talking to me he at my house he need to tape it up tape with the elbows and then and then line up the the the buttons line the buttons up and it'll be straight should we should we finish this voicemail or are we going oh yeah are we done with go ahead go ahead let's slap chris rock that was the funniest that i had ever seen but man it's like you just go back and you hear i hear these things that i was like so in love with and i'm just like oh dang that thing always just being kind of corny obviously as a child like you don't think that of your heroes or like your superstars like i saw this in sharp tails i i you know my favorite movie to this day is the men in black just off the field man just but man that's rough that is so rough right from cuba cuba i just buy this for the look i don't like it he puts cigars in his mouth and doesn't like them and i'm just like that's like normally the for like people who don't really smoke for real like if they don't smoke cigarettes or whatever right is a smoking cigar a little bit like you don't even really gotta inhale this you just kind of puff you can kind of hold it a little bit you let it anyway that's all i gotta say i don't remember too much i don't remember too much i don't remember too much i'm with the podcast bro just if you just want to call it and and say you with the pocket you can do that you said all that for nothing anyway i don't want to hold y'all up yes you you did you held us up you're pushing my grandmama i ain't gonna talk your head off my head already on the floor yeah you did it yeah that's you know you can't control who's in your fan base you ever you ever do the meet and greet at your show and you'd be like huh yeah that's all that yeah i always meet and greet and be like huh so that's so that's who coming to my show is interesting man hey and sometimes you love them sometimes you're like this is exactly who i want to be in my shows and sometimes you're like oh for the most for the most part but it'll be that one where it's like ah okay i gotta tell less harry potter jokes yeah yeah okay stop being game of thrones i got to talk about that in select cities yeah exactly um all right glitter that's all the time we got for today i appreciate y'all y'all go peep the special as as if you listen as you know this man funny as hell go people special little something something that's out right now something something man um anything else you'd like to plug for the people hey man uh a little something something out right now uh if you actually go on his page in the bio he got an amazon card you can buy three of these for twelve dollars if you actually go and you click it it's a ancient sweater and you click it and twelve dollars you get three of them they got they got this then they got they got uh yeah go ahead uh caramel yeah and then they got uh fuchsia uh-huh fuchsia okay just y'all know leonard's last appearance on the podcast y'all i appreciate it i appreciate i appreciate you pulling up now this is a good one appreciate you my guy my favorite lyrics is a production by disco nap if you guys like what you hear leave a review and tell a homie about the show and make sure to follow us at my favorite lyrics pod on all social platforms except for twitter we offer that you can learn more about this week's guest and the my favorite lyrics team by checking out the show's notes and thank you to the guys that made the show happen executive producer lauren mandel producer carmen kerrigan our editor nicole lyons and yeah that's all the people that i'm gonna thank for now i wrote a little song to remind you choice hotels get you more of the experiences you value um the cambria hotel's got it all a rooftop bar have a ball cocktails up here feel just right it's cambria amazing all right bring a date your team or even your mom book direct at choicehotels.com see you on the roof some personality quirks are really funny like i talk to my left foot more than i talk to my right you know what's not funny and not a personality quirk ocd although the term ocd is widely recognized it's misunderstood by most people it doesn't mean being tidy or clean it's having obsessive fears thoughts and urges you question your character you question your safety that's ocd breaking the ocd cycle takes effective treatment go to nocd.com to learn more introducing pandora's holiday collection this season celebrate the ones you know by heart with a gift that says it all from engravable pieces to festive charms to lab grown diamonds pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who inspire you who've been there through it all give a piece that says exactly what words can't pandora more than a gift shop new styles in store or online at pandora.net Thank you.