Sorry That We're Stars w/ Jackie Schimmel

Hey, everyone. I'm Morgan Stewart and welcome to the Morgan Stewart Show. I'm going to be talking about pop culture, fashion, my personal life, and just a warning, I will be giving my opinions on everything. And those opinions are subject to change, okay? Now, let's get into it. Jackie Shemmo. Oh, hi. Oh, hi. How are you? How are you? I'm wonderful. I'm so fucking thrilled you're here. Can I tell you? I'm so happy to be here and I'm so happy that you're doing this. You know, I've been telling you for years. Not to make this about me, but I have been telling you. You have you specifically, and I don't say that. I mean, overall, my advice to people starting a podcast is don't because it's too late and weird for you. That's so not the case. You have been telling me for a hundred years. And the funny thing about us are dichotomy. And why this works so well is because when we first met and got introduced, first of all, I found the photo of us when we first met. Oh, God, what was I wearing? Doing the bad. You looked phenomenal. You were in a navy blue, crew neck t-shirts, shakes, sophisticated hamptons. I was in a brown tank top with a brown satin bomber jacket. The nose was through the microphone. It was, I'm wearing a satin bomber jacket. No, no, I'm going to kill myself. Go ahead. Wow. Okay. Little on the nose. Bye. Thank you. Okay. You were wearing a woman in brown. Yeah. You also have to let me have this because I never laughed genuinely at anything anyone else says. And this was really, this is going to be so good for me because it's hard, right? It's not easy. No, nobody is funny anymore. No, I'm talking about it enough. It's crazy, but you know what's crazy is that we are both so funny, but we like each other so much genuinely. Genuinely. Yes. Isn't that interesting? Do you think about that ever? What do you think that funny people typically don't like each other? Well, we're like the same font. Totally. Right? Yes. Like, you got 50% more Judaism, but that's it. That's it. I'm like at 51%, I just didn't finish the rest of it. Right, right. No, we're totally in the same font. We are at the same font. And the funny thing is, you guys are ready for this fun fact. Jackie, when I did Nightly Pop, Jackie filled in for me when I was on maternity leave. And Jackie, the whole time you were like, I do not want to do television. No. And you're the only person that has ever meant that. And I, up until now, when I fucking flaked, I never wanted to do a fucking podcast. Uh-huh. And now I'm doing a fucking podcast. But I had to do a podcast because my television dreams were like basically killed. Obviously, I think hindsight 20, 26 months from now, you will be so happy that you did this. And you're going to call me and you're going to say, bitch, you were right. I'm going to say, I know. I know. I know. And you know what? And you know what? What else you were right about? When I called you, you were my first call. And I said, listen, I want to re-record my first episode. It's rambly as fuck. I can't stand it. It's not good. The dates were wrong. I didn't know when I got pregnant. I didn't know when I had the kid. I didn't know who the father was. I didn't know anything about my life when I had to, like, recall it. And you were like, I promise you, you are going to re-record it and you're going to use the original. Yes. And I still was like, I just don't know. And typically I know that that was what I would do. You were right about that too. No, there's something that's like beautifully attainable about a little clunk, especially in the first couple episodes. It feels uncurated and I feel like listeners of a podcast need that. Nobody's going to give three eighths of a fuck that you don't remember the date of, you know, whatever. It's okay. It just felt like honest and I listened and I was like, this is a hit. I'm obsessed with you. This is a Bob. Can we talk about the Bitch Bible? Totally. Okay, I want to know logistics for a little bit and then I have lots of things I want to get into. Okay. How do you record once a week? Yes. By yourself. Yes. There is no one in the room. No. And you record how long? Well, I don't do any edits, so, like, the length of the episode. So you're talking to us for one hour? You're talking to myself like a crazy person for 45 minutes. Usually around 56. Are you drinking water? Oh, yeah. She gets very, very parts. Can we have water breaks during this episode? Oh, yeah. I can't do it. I have so many guests and I'm like, are we still talking? I'm dying. I go into anaphylaxis pretty often because I'll say something like super terrible and then I think just my body responds and it's like, you need to stop talking. And then I take a sip and then I keep going and yeah. But then, okay, if you're not editing yourself, how does that work? Like, do you have anyone to run stuff by where you're like, okay, maybe I went a little too fucking far here or fuck the internet and who cares? Fuck the internet and who cares? I'll tell you something. Um, so I have been doing this 14 years. I was it. That was Michael. See, you're a journalist. I was going to ask you that. 14. 14. Which is embarrassing. Has it been the beach Bible for 14 years? 14 years. I want to eat my mic. I want to. I hate it. It's terrible. It's so long that it's like embarrassing, but I'll never stop because I genuinely love it. And, I mean, granted, there was three and a half podcasts when I started. So, and there was little to no feedback. I like didn't have an iPhone, okay? Yeah. So I could say whatever the fuck I wanted. And it kind of like built the foundation where I couldn't edit because I didn't know how to edit. And I had no one to edit. Right. So because of that, we've just never done edits. So if I say something terrible, which is often. Right. I think I get a little bit more wiggle room. And I think that people feel the, don't feel the need to hold me as accountable. I'm accountable because they know at bare minimum that I'm not giving them. Like a sliced and diced version of something that I think sounds better. So the way you podcast is the way I am with face tune. Like I, I don't know how to use it. So I don't use it. And I'm entering a place where like I need to start using it. Sure. Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. I'm in the same boat. I remember trying to face tune something like six and a half years ago. And there was a gate behind me. And I was trying to do a little cinch cinch. And the gate went a skew. And I was like, girl, this is not, this is not for us. This is not for us. No, there was like a palm tree in the back. And then it just caved in. And I know, forget it. They do have a little cleanup thing on the actual iPhone app. Now we're like, you go to a photo and you can do cleanup. And you can do like the slightest little blur, which I'm finding because the laugh lines are starting to really come in. Okay. You look fresh as a fucking daisy. I told you off camera. Sorry, off mic. Off mic. She's adjusting camera. There's a camera too. I mean, whoa. The camera here is different from TV camera, but I'm fine. Okay. Can we start with your morning? Sure. I want to know what time you woke up. I woke up this morning at like 715. Okay. A sensible 715. Okay. And is your man getting up before you? It depends. We kind of trade off on who wakes up with the child. With the, you're with fucking child. You have a literal child. I have a child in the world. Okay. But we make him wait for us. I agree. I think that's the best thing in the world to do. You can't be running. No, no, no. I'm like, you live here like thanks to me. Yeah. So I'm just going to like take my time and get a matcha and then I'll get you when I see it fit. 100%. Okay. So how old is Clyde? He's two and a half. What? By the way, middle name lion. Yeah. What? When I tried to be like, oh Clyde Leo, I somehow like added an accent that I wasn't there. Which I love. I was literally like from you. I was like, Clyde Leo. What is happening? Okay. He's two and a half. Another thing we have in common. The cutest children. It's so true. What? I will kill Clyde. I know. I will be fucking kill him. What the fuck are you talking about? I said to him yesterday. I'm like, you know that I'm going to eat your whole fucking face. I literally want to stick the head in the mouth. Yeah. The eyes. I want a body slamming. No. I can't stand that child. I know. It can so fucking sweet, but he's you. He looks just like you. He's spicy. He is so fucking cute. He called me a dirty bitch last week. Don't. My nipples got hard. I will listen. If anyone talks to me like that. My god. Clyde. Cots, dirty bitch. Okay. Yeah. So he's two and a half. He's in a crib. Yes. Oh, I'm keeping him in that jail cell. For as long as you can. As long as you can. Okay. And then you get him. So what are you doing? You're waking up. What are you having for breakfast? What am I having for breakfast? This morning I had scrambled eggs. Okay. And she made a smoothie. Oh, my God. It was in the smoothie. I put, I have all these like frozen little trinket things. So I do like frozen passion fruit, frozen coconut. I have smoothie cubes from AirWon. They're green. This is a $300 smoothie. Oh, oh, oh, okay. Oh, oh, my God. Can I have that? Yeah. You can totally, by the way. And my real hair is going with it. This is, this is crazy. That's crazy. Also, by the way, I love this. Every time I get my extension on this. I'm like, this is so healthy. And like, my hair is coming out of my head. That's all my hair. A k-tip. A k-tip. I love when a k-tip goes rogue. They're all over my house. Never started to save them. And I was like, oh, no, you don't, those aren't going back in. We can just throw those away. Don't you love, like, yeah. Don't you want to have like a public scene where you just grab one and be like, God damn it. No, it's too much. But that is, that is like, that is $800. Can I tell you something? I think my hair won't leave my head. They hang on for dear life. I will have a rat tail for six months. Are you doing wefts? Well, I've switched over to the wefts. But I did k-tips forever. And I could have those in for 17 years. I've got texture. Texture. Texture. Okay. So once those little, those little claws sink into the Ashkenazi Scout. Oh, my God. They're never leaving. Because I got fuck. I'm only half Ashkenazi. Right. So you don't have the texture. So that's why that's what it is. It's a gorgeous k-tip. I mean, that's a souvenir. Do you know what it is? So I have like texture underneath. So it's very curly under with these weird, straight pieces on top. But don't blend. But very thin. Okay. And then row has that too. So I feel bad. But she got the better face. So she's going to be okay. So the face doesn't. It goes hard with that kid. I'm like, oh, you're like gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous children. And like when she was a baby, I wasn't sure where we were going. Yeah. I was like, this is going to work out. And then it really is. And then I wasn't sure if she was going to have my legs or his. And she has his. It's fine. Okay. It's fine. It's not bad. And you know what my mom said? She said it's more of a mixed now. Oh, great. Yeah. Okay, great. We love that. Yeah, she has his feet. I'm fine with that too. That's totally fine. You know, it doesn't matter. It's always take after the moms and the girls always take after the dads. Okay. And I was a big mix. So. Yeah. I just want to talk about real shit, but I want to go back to your smoothie because I call you off And I am curious because I'm obsessed with people have for breakfast. Okay, so I'll I'll hit it with a little coconut water Hydrated by the way the coconut water tastes like sperm. I know right? Yeah But when you balance it out with like the passion fruit cubes it works. It's fine. Okay, you just get it down Get it you well. That's how we got here, right? You get it down Yeah, then I'm gonna hit it with a little colostrum. What is happening? I know I'm crazy. This is two thousand dollars I'm this is so rich. Okay, Colossal. What does colostrum do what is colostrum gun to my head not a clue? Not a clue. I have no idea, but I put a scoop in and I feel amazing about myself Then I'm gonna hit it with protein powder with creatine I've lost my mind Morgan. I've lost my mind. I told you I've been doing like a hyperbaric chamber I don't know what the fuck's going to do that who Michael Jackson there. We go there you go with the monkey inside He remembered the pet monkey. He had what was his name? What is his name? Oh my god? What is his name bubbles? Good job, everybody Wow, okay, okay, creatine protein colostrum coconut Dada a little tangerine juice. You know what it is in green juice. I'll hit it with a tangerine juice Have you ever had an orange Julius? Yes, isn't that frozen? You know what else? Have you ever been to an anthropology? I just like wonder this about you Yes once like it on top of everything because I had to a lot of sense coming in there. I know why are what does it exist? Oh, yeah, no, I think about you a lot just in like the scope of the world and like I want like have you been to home goods? Yes, when you're a liar. No, it was at the Grove and I don't have a home good They did Google it. I can't imagine that they had a home goods and I got a hide rug there. Oh, oh, and I used it That's dark. That's right. It was like a light camel color But I swear to God, there's a home goods at the Grove like in the parking lot area. Is that home goods? I don't think so Are you thinking of like a CB2? What's that? I'm getting oh my god. I just got so excited. I almost slipped out of this fucking bar stool That made me really really happy. I was in an anthropology like not long ago And I'm not really sure why sometimes I just need to buy things like I like making I curate baskets for my housekeeper lab But she she put the kebash on it because like she'll be like, oh, I'm redoing my bathroom And I'm like I got you girl and then I go by towels and I buy can't you're a bit you're a homie person You're a very homie thoughtful sweet girl. I don't know about that I just like to buy things and I just it's like a forced situation. I don't know how kind it really is because it's more for me Than it is for her. Okay, so if we really like dial it back and peel the layers like is that kind? Probably not probably not But still you're doing something for someone else. Yes, and you're going to home with anthropology But anthropology is what what does it sell? Um, so there's clothes and then there's homeware So I went and I bought her some cheese knives from anthropology that were kind of like sobrae adjacent You know and put them in a basket and I was there and I was like I wonder if Morgan Stewart's ever been taken anthropology I think once but what I'm really getting at here is how long have you had your housekeeper a very long time? It's hard It's hard to have one for a long time. This is becoming really really. This is why people hate me But it is guys because I am such a Virgo. Do you know your rising sign? Oh, you're gonna love this You're gonna have a field day with this which by the way before you answer This has been the longest I've gone without asking someone sign because I genuinely could listen to you talk all day long Oh my god. I love you so much. No, you're so funny and quick and smart. I don't know about any of you are but I appreciate it Double Leo with a Scorpio rising I have to leave now. It's terrible. I'm obsessed with Leo's okay same But a double Leo with a Scorpio rising. I feel like that's terrible. That is so strong. That's it's too much. What's your Venus in? I don't know Do you have a coaster? Of course, I do let's get that up. Okay. What's your man? Aquarius? Holy shit Him alive Or the most compatible signs really yeah, they're very compatible. You know, I've always dated Aquarius. I don't have the co-star app like up to speed. I'm really sorry. Okay. I feel we're gonna figure it out We're gonna figure it out. Yeah, I'm gonna let you know. Okay, so okay. Okay. What were you saying? I'm eating two on this podcast. What was I saying anthropology double Leo? No, Scorpio you met your man keeper Bubbles monkeys hyperbaric chamber. I don't know. I can know and the fact here's another thing another thing I'd like to bring up the fact that Morgan first fall microplastics embarrassing secondly. She has is this World of eggs in a zip lock bag freeballing. It is 96 degrees out. Is it hot in here? It's not hot Can I take the second you go outside? It's hard going to be omitting hard-boiled eggs. Yes and microplastics Can I tell you something that is most that's the worst thing to travel with where you have to get them down before you go Outside, I'm not doing that. I'm with these. It's a weird. It's a weird travel snack weird, right? You public speak well, well you went on tour. Let's talk about a tour. Oh, I had a good time actually I mean I vowed never to tour again my last tour. I was pretty level 10 miserable and it showed, you know When you start turning on the audience, that is there to support you because you're just so miserable It wasn't a great look for me, but this last tour I did like 20 shows and I had the time of my life Anything to leave the family really no, I don't understand. I understand that. It's so nice to just be alone Like we explained to me when do you decide to go on tour and 20 state like where are we going and how long is this show like walk me through every part of that? Okay, so I originally agreed to do five five shows. Who are you agreeing to this with just like management and like touring agents? Do you have a manager? I do. Do you have a publicist? No, I know why do it? I don't need a publicist. I need whatever the opposite of a publicist I need to like really lay low. You know what I mean like we don't need new I don't need new listeners I need to like to stick with my people like we don't need to bring new people into this. We are so aligned in our goals In that way like I really want my current audience to be engaged and I don't need to go beyond that. No, no, no It's I find it to be kind of insulting when people are like what's next like what are the next? I'm like I'm good right here Right now. I don't want to do anything different right this is perfect. This is the sweet spot. We're not getting canceled We've like rode the wave for 14 years. There you go. I can buy purses leave me the fuck alone So you've literally been doing this for well over a deck Well, I don't say well over deck, but well over a deck. Yeah, and like I mean there was literally no You are like one of the first there was no Spotify didn't exist. There were no categories It was the best because there were quite literally five shows So I was a receptionist and an investment bank. I was able to chart because hot tip there was no fucking shows Right, so yeah, I was like I made top 10. There's like there's nine shows, so yeah, you're gonna you're gonna make the top 10 I'm like I'm killing it. Oh my god. I'm gonna make like top 300. No, no, no, you're gonna be great I'm telling you. What is the list? What is the list? Is there a list? The list also don't matter anymore because they're not generated by overall download So if you've been in the game a long time like it doesn't really fluctuate as much. Got it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can also have real listeners. Well, you could just like buy placements in some of them too But which is a good thing also should I do that don't do that you won't need to they'll figure it out No, you won't need to. Oh, have you seen the purple scary? It's a purple scary. It's a magenta I know it is counter. It's contrasting here. It goes really well with my last Vegas I'm obsessed with that cup I mean she's lived so much life and I love it Can I tell you I told you off camera off my my mother-in-law has a lot of them and when she started to bring over the red rhinestone solo cups Oh my god, I want them. I have seven of them large and small for the kids. Oh, I love that so much I'll get you some. I'm a click away from a glue gun I am one week away It's sad because it's true. You know this Okay I glue gun in a bedazzler. I feel like you don't mumble at all either. I have so many thoughts. I mumble a lot I'm a mumbler and my vocabulary needs to stretch because I can't a moat I can't like how you listen to other podcasts. No, I'm fine. I've never listened to a podcast aside from your podcast You don't want to by the way your ears will bleed. There's so many bad ones. Do you like anyone? I think there's yes I do I mean the girls in the space Amy pullers is very sweet very like refreshing and an easy lesson. It's sweet It is it's like she's not a sweet conversation. Right. I've been saying for a long time that I like a certain level of cadence Like when I'm listening to something. Okay. We're fast girls. Okay, so we need like uptempo conversations. I think There's so many great great girls in the space. Okay. Oh wow. That's empowering you. Yes humble as ever Heather McMahon star as big star. The toes girls have been doing it for fucking ever. Their cadence is up their killers I love them. I tried to get to go. I tried to we tried to do a swapy swap and with the timing didn't work But I love them the horse power is there the tempo is there Taylor Strecker's great. I mean there's so many like Michelle Collins Is a low key star a high key star like the cadence is just there. Okay. I'm into that Tons. I mean the girls are holding it down like we don't need any more male podcasts. We also the worst why like please stop please stop. But nobody you're not prolific your takes are lukewarm on their best day. Right. You're not attractive. Right. Nobody wants to fuck you or listen to you. Thank you so much. Um, and on that note touring. Yes. I want to know I genuinely I'm very fascinated because you hauled ass with Clyde and toe. Yeah, we did. He came with me to about like half of the shows And then I had to give him the hook because she liked those lights a little too much. Yeah, she was really too into it, as she was too into it. And I kind of, at first I only agreed to go to locations that I could tolerate that I could digest. So like I could go there, I could go to the Rosewood and D's. Yeah, that was great. And then after five shows, they're like, okay, let's add a couple. Let's add a couple. So where were the first five shows? Like where are we going? I think it was in, we were in Montecito. Okay. Yeah, Miramar Beach. Are we the ones that are going to laugh at this block? Because I'm enjoying it thoroughly. Like this is so in my world right now. Miramar Beach kills me. Fucking kills me. Karuso was there. I did, um, over my first ones. I feel like I went to D.C. Okay. Which was fine. Fine. And then I went to Boston. I went to New York. I had to be in Boston anyways, because Andrew had a thing there. Okay. I did Boston, New York, Philadelphia. Okay. Okay. And then you did a lot more. And then I did LA. And then I did, oh my god, I've done, I, why didn't I come to LA? I don't know. I probably didn't want to like inconvenience you. No, I'm there next time. It was fun. But then how, what is a live show like? Like, what are you doing? Are you just, are you doing like, tell, walk? Well, I had done a version of all of them. Like the first one I just got out there in free balled, which was a disaster. Yeah, nobody ever needs to be doing that. Right. Like no one needs to go rogue behind a mic. I'm like, I got this. I've been doing this for years. No, it was terrible. I, I remember I did like a music festival. And I was added late. And I was heckling. It was, it was in Vegas. It was called Life is Beautiful. It was like David Getta was headlining. And then this time, bitch, that is crazy, crazy. And it was the only air conditioned venue. So not the only air. It was the only air condition inside venue. So while all of these Reno bros were waiting for David Getta. Okay. They all came to my show because they needed to like recalibrate. Okay. They need to cool down. They needed to cool down. And if you, if you were me and you saw the sea of Oakley Seniors. No. And tank tops. Okay. You would have just dropped dead. And they were booing me from three minutes in. Like it was not working. This was not my demographic. And I was like, you know what? Do you think I give a fuck? And then I started getting. Oh, get nasty. A fucking love it. I started doing really nasty. And I was like, I have a question for you. I'm like, first of all, y'all are ugly. Secondly, do you think I give a flying fuck? If you think this is funny, I get paid regardless. I've got 36 minutes left on the clock. I could do the ABCs 400 times. Right. And I still walk away with the check. What do you walk away with? Clamydia. Like I started getting crazy. Oh my god. Crazy. Okay. No. Okay. I started like heckling. And then we did like a Q&A. And these guys were like, what the fuck? And then we're screaming at each other. And I'm like, I'm never touring again. This is it for me. I'm in Reno. I love it. It was terrible. I really am fascinated by you because now I'm thinking about all the time that I thought about you and haven't told you because you literally do solo trips to Paris. All the time. What I used to go every three months. How do you, what makes a person want to do a solo trip? I can't go to the bathroom alone. Oh no. I like crave solitude in a way that I don't even like talking about because it feels like I'm being sticky and it's not real, but it's the realist thing I'll ever say. Has it always been you? Always. Always. Have you taken a solo trip before Paris? Oh yeah. To where? I guess I would go to like Palm Springs. I mean, I didn't really have like the financial flexibility. Yeah. Until more recently to like go take a luxury trip by myself. Fucking love financial flexibility. Um, but like Santa Barbara. You know, I'll, I mean, abroad. I'm always going to Paris though. Like I'm always going to Paris. So you're flying alone. You're staying alone. Yes. Walking around alone. You're taking yourself to eat. What else are you doing? Shopping, biking. I love to have a couple drinks and get on a vehicle of some sort. I'll get on a scooter. I'll get on a bike. I let the wind fly in my K tips and just do my thing. Like I love. I am so excited like genuinely by the idea of like not talking to anyone or answering to anyone and doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it with my thoughts. Like it's so fun to me. So we have drinks by myself. What? Oh yeah. Where do you like to stay? Can you say? Yes. Okay. So last time I say to Foucaix don't love the location. Okay. It's a little, it's a little close to just kind of like the stuff, the busyness. I stay, I've stayed at La Burgundy a million times. Okay. Which is like a very small hotel. Write that down, Jessica. Roo St. on her. It's like, I'm butchering that. It's right behind the rites. It's next to Chanel headquarters. We love that. It's on a small street. If you're going alone, a great place to stay. I love the Rosewood hotel. Yeah. Curly on. It's the best. I love that location. I'm a, I'm a first district kind of now. So you have no anxiety about being alone, not at all. I could, I dare someone to try to kid that me. I will take them down. I will bite them. I will rip out their eyelashes. Like I am so small and scrappy. I do not worry about it. I honestly feel like that is one of the coolest things in the world to be able to be alone. I'm really good about being alone with myself. I need the solitude in very small doses. Yeah. But being able to travel abroad. Oh no. Like love. Get on a plane alone, which I can do. But like go to restaurants alone. If I traveled alone to Paris, I would be in my room until five o'clock and I would order room service. And I would not be able to figure, I can't even Google Maps. I don't even know where my, where my Dropbox is on my phone. Yeah. No. I, I have always been like that. Since I was like younger, I'd like cosplay social. I'd be like, yeah, sleep over, sure thing, girly. And then I was like dying inside of like, when can I go home? I just want to like really lock in tunnel vision. Just me myself and I, I feel like that might be a personality disorder thing. I get that. I, I, you know what it is? It's a safety thing. I feel safe and totally in control when I'm alone. There's no outside factors. I'm very capable. I know where I'm going. I'm decisive. And I just get to do exactly what I want. It's very selfish and narcissistic. I don't think it's narcissistic. By the way, when did that become such? That's like our trend word of the last five years. And no one knows what it means. It's very true. Because it's kind of like all-encompassing. Like now everyone's like, well, yeah, he was a narcissist. But you don't know what the fuck that means. Yeah. Like let's run it back. Let's run it back. What do you mean? Like that a narcissist, in my opinion, and tell me if I'm right, is somebody that basically wants, see, I can't even do it. Somebody, it is somebody in your life that wants you to perform at their for them in terms of like they want you to do well to see how it reflects on them. Everything revolves around them. Okay. Oh. Oh my god. So we're narcissists. Am I a narcissist? No. No. Are you, but not in a cheeky way? Like, am I? Because everything goes back to me. Same. Okay. No, we're sorry that we're stars. Sorry that we're stars. That's what I say to everyone. You know what my phone's called? Star of the world. And what else is supposed to be called? Every time I have to connect to the wife, they're like, what are you? I'm like, we have to ask it's star of the world. Yeah. Obviously. I'm like also on star of the world. Number five. Yeah. It's perfect. Yeah. Okay. Fucking parasolone. So I literally don't think I could ever do that. But if you ever want to have like a Jason solo trips. Yes. We can do that. Okay. I would love that. So she's like, I don't want that. No, no, it's good because I put parameters on Heather. She doesn't really respect them. I do put parameters. Okay. Okay. How was that trip? Oh, amazing. Like we fight. We bicker. We yell at each other. She wants to go try new things. She wants to go to new places. She's trying to get me to go to fucking the Latin quarter. I'm like, that's good. No, I don't want to go wait in line for a falafel that she's on TikTok. I said, hey, guess what? We're not doing that. I'm not going there. I don't want to go. I don't want to wait in the line. Like we're not doing this. Please say someone asks me to go and get a falafel. I said, we are in fucking pair. She's like, we already went there last time. We were here. I'm like, yeah, no, I know. This is where we're going to lunch. The food's not good. No, but this is where we go to lunch. Okay. I cannot lay out the new sucks. We're going to go. By the way, it sucks, but it's so good. But you have to go outside and sit in there already. Yeah. No, bitch. I know. Oh, I'm going to go back. I can't with Heather. She's so fucking, but remember our nobo stay. We stayed at the hotel. Nobo hotel. Yes. We had a paid. We all had a paid sponsorship deal three ways. And we all got to stay at that really pretty hotel. That was actually a really fun. I last minute decided to go also staying in the broom closet, but where was I had a good room? You had the best room. I would. I know. Oh my god. And then you left early and I was going to take over your room, but I thought that would be tacky. No, you should have taken it. Why did I leave early? You had your period. I did. Yeah. And I was single, newly single. And I think I was a little weird, but I didn't seem weird, right? No, back to me. No, not at all. Like, can you remember how I was about five, seven, eight years ago? How long was that now? Seven years ago. I've been married five years. So seven years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Seven or eight years ago. Can we talk about Andrew? Sure. Okay. So I think also something that's similar between us is that we have weird stars. And our husbands are more background singers. Totally. Right. They're stars in their own right. They sprinkle in their own way. They sparkle. Sprinkle sparkle in their own way. But they definitely play to us. Totally. Is that your dynamic with Andrew? Yes. He could not be sweeter. He's the sweetest guy. How did you meet him? I met him at a bar. Where? I met him actually. So my best childhood friend, Dan went to college. Dan Kramer. Is Dan Gambald? No, that's Max. I love Max. Max is perfect. Max is so funny and such a good vibe. He's the best five best energy. Like no one has ever kicked him out of a room. Everybody wants to be best friends. I love him. So warm. Dan, I have known since I was four years old. And he went to Berkeley College of Music with Andrew. Oh, I didn't know. So he like did the John Mayer thing. Oh, Andrew is so musician. Like he saw that. Okay. So you met him at a bar. How long ago was this? I met him at a bar. How old am I? Okay. Yeah. No, we don't need to do age on this. But like just how long? Like 14, 15 years ago. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And you've been together ever since? Yes. So did you know when you first met him? No. Did you not? Not really. Kind of? No, not really. So how did the whole relationship? He will say different, obviously. He has to. But like so. - Well, what did he ask you for your number? - He asked me for my number. - And who asked you for your number? - Yes, asked me for my number and was like, I'm here with my friends, I should get back to them. But let me get your number. We should hang out sometime and I was like, ew. And then I went out with him like four days later and it made no sense. Like he took me, oh god, it was terrible. He took me to like, he took me to a Mexican food restaurant and then to the sagebrush canteen in Calabasas. So just let that sit in for a second. - So terrible. - Like you have nachos. - It was the craziest thing. I was like, what do you do? There's like sawdust on the floor. We were just out of Mexican food restaurant, which is a weird move. Love Mexican food, but like for a state. - That's like married two years. - And then we go to a canteen for drinks afterwards. Like that's just like cuisine repetition. It's so stupid. Anyways, and then we were together ever since. - Okay, so you've been married how long? - We have been married eight years. - Where'd you get married? - In the parker in Palm Springs. Did you wanna go alone to that? Or you were okay traveling with other people? - I was okay for him to show up for that. But I did go there a million times before I got married by myself. - By yourself. - Okay, check it out. - Just to check it out and see if the vibe was good. Okay, so you've been married eight years. - Yes, holy shit. - I know, it's so long. - Well, this is forever. - I'm pretty sure. - I don't want him to know that 'cause I'd like, you know, just have the power dynamic. - They can never get too comfortable. - I had the craziest dream last night. - Wait, okay, so he goes to Nashville all the time because music, he's successful. Well, why don't you say what Andrew does? 'Cause I don't think people really know a lot about Andrew. - He is a songwriter and a music producer. - Give some names, give some criteria. - Give some resume. - Some people you've heard of. - Maroon 5. - There you go. - There you go. - There you go. - There you go. - Thomas Brett, one direction. - One, oh my God, the fans go wild. - Everybody. - Yeah. - And he works really closely with Thomas Brett, who is a country artist. - I know who Thomas Brett is. - If I didn't, I am like, part country now. - You are. - My last name is McGraw. - Oh, that's so true. - Is that crazy? - Yeah. - Do you ever think I would be Morgan McGraw? Which I kind of really work with. - It's really, I can't even handle it. - You hear like the coins chink, it's just rich. - Oh, I love it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why I had to balance Ro and Grey with McGraw. - Yeah, that's hard. - That was hard, but I did it. - Yeah, you can't do like Susie Lou. - No, no. You can't do basically any other navy. - Exactly. - Except for the ones I chose. - I was like, is it like any other name all of a sudden becomes like their country music star? - Right. - Yeah, like Kevin McGraw. Well, not that I ever thought of Kevin. - Yeah, I imagine. - No, I wouldn't be me. What do you mean? That could wouldn't exist. - But it's so funny. - Grey McGraw works. - We're thinking Kevin. Yeah, no. - That's crazy. - Am I true? - No, I don't know if we're talking. - I didn't know that before. - Kevin or, I don't know, chasing. We literally did, was your name easy to climb? Did it just come to you? - Yes. - I was dying to put my foot up here, but I'm not going to. - I know, I'm dying to take my pants off, but I'm not going to. - I'm cutting off blood for you. - I always want to take my pants off. I am always uncomfortable in my pants. - Yes. - I'm not kidding. I don't know what it is. I have no balls I've checked, and for some reason, they are always just grumbled up in there. - There's that. - No, no, no. It's like something about the undercarriage, 'cause you want the lift. - You want the lift, you want it, but then it's suffocating you. - It's like, if you feel like-- - Yeah. - Waiting to happen. - Waiting to happen. - I know T.I., which is a fun fact about me, I have never had one. - Neither have I. - Wait, and I just said that to someone three days ago. - Yeah. - Do you want to know something fun about me? - Yeah. - I've never had a UTI. - Literally, that is a huge accomplishment, because everyone now is always like, "UTI." I'm like, "Don't look this way, sweetie." 'Cause I never had one. Thank you. - I don't even really know how you get one. You wear a bathing suit too long. - What is it, guys? - You don't feel after sex? - By the way, the second, I'm peeing like 12 times. - No, me too. I was like, "Ranmother just went to the emergency room "and I said, "Honey, I'm not joking. "That's why the UTI is so prevalent." 'Cause she literally, it was five days ago. She was in the emergency room. I said, "What were you doing? "Were you having an orgy in the community?" - No. - Like, "Jagusey, how does a 95-year-old woman get a UTI?" Riddle me this. How does a 95-year-old woman get a UTI? And then untreat it. And then almost go septic and die before my weekends? - What was her symptoms, what were symptoms like? - It was laying on the ground. - Like foaming at the mouth. (laughing) Incoherent, sweating fever. It's like, her caretaker calls me. I said, "No, you need to tell her." - I was like, "Loki, I am renovating my backyard, "so it wouldn't be the worst time "cause I could probably upgrade the food." - I put it where? - You know what I mean? - No, I got it. - Materials are so expensive. - No, so expensive. - Can I tell you something? We'll get into that after. - Okay. - She's on the ground. She's foaming at the mouth. - Okay, wait. - She wants me. Okay, hold, hold, okay, Judith, sorry. - They're going to get it. - Oh, love you. They get me water here. - Oh my God. - No, glamour, Jesus. - So what happened? - She's on the floor. - She's laying on the ground, foaming at the mouth, sweating, incoherent, her caretaker calls me. I'm like, "Is everything okay?" She's like, "No." She said, "What's going on?" She says, "She's not making sense. "She has a fever. "She's like dry heaving." I said, "Call 911." She gets to the hospital. They're like, "Oh, she has a UTI. "She's on the verge of sepsis." I call her, I say, "Gloria, the Oscars are on Sunday." - You need to lock it up and get home and handle your fucking business. - We're not doing this this week. - No, we're not. We need to make it one year without a trauma. So we're not going out by way of UTI. - By way. - Like, you can't die from a UTI. - That's not acceptable. What will we say at the funeral? - Literally. - That she died on my time and I'm fucking furious. - By the way, everyone dying on my goddamn time, I'm fucking done with those people. - It's so disrespectful. - Okay, wait. Holy shit, that is also, she's 95. - Yeah, and she's back and better than ever. - My grandmother, another commonality that we have. Big word. Did you hear that? Thank you. - Love it. 101 in two weeks. She had a stroke from two months ago. - We can't take that. - And it's just out. - And went to the hospital for a full week, paralysis of the face. She's back in action. No problem. She is back in action, smoking a sick every day, having a gin and tonic dying in her hair, choosing out the salmon nail polish color that she's gonna have for her birthday. No problem. It's insane. - Insane. - It's insane. - It's insane. I know, my grandma and all of her sisters are like that. - How old are her sisters? - Oh, well, one of them was 105. - Okay, yeah. - I mean, her mother lived to 101. They all, they just will not die. - No, I can't even, okay, so Gloria is who's mom? - My dad's mom. And what about your mom's parents? - So my mom's real mom did? - What was it? - It was she adopted? - No, no, no. My mom's, so my grandma is essentially my mom's stepmom. But like my grandma, but still alive, still kicking. - Okay, do you see her all the time? - And what about your grandfather? - Still alive. - How old? - 86. - So not that old? - No, not that old. - Okay. - And then my paternal grandfather dead. - Very dead. - Super dead. But we were prepared for him to die. Like, I remember the conversation. It happened like 10 years too soon. They're like, you know, grandpa's unhealthy. He's got dialysis, the kid, whatever. And then he just kept, he just kept coming back around. - Living. - Yeah, living. - Living. - So that was a good run. - So you grew up with basically all grandparents. - Yes. - Got it. - Okay, and parents on deck. - And then I spoke to you about this. But how old were you when your mom passed away? - I was 26, almost 27. - Okay, how did that go for you? Was that? - I mean, great. - It's the worst, huh? - Not great. And then, you know, answering, I got dealt like a real shithead. - Were you shithead? - Oh yeah. Tell me about the shithead, I'm interested in that. - So we have, listen to this. We, my son has three great grandparents alive and one grandparent alive. So he has more great grandparents than grandparents. Because they're all fucking dead. They all pieced out early. - It's so crazy. - It's so crazy. Andrew lost both of his parents in like two and a half years. - Yeah. - When was this? - So his dad passed maybe like seven or eight months after our wedding and then his mom passed. - From what? - Of all things, like pneumonia untreated. - But, okay. - And then my mother-in-law passed from like kidney failure. Was any of this, were you guys aware of any of this happening? Or was it sudden for both? - It was sudden for both. - And she passed like six months after a cloud was born. (laughing) - It's been a hoot. - It's crazy. You and I have had like parallel lives. It's just so, and I wonder like personality-wise, I feel like we're the type that you just persevere. No matter how horrific a circumstance is, you just are like, well, I have to get through this. - Yeah, you know what, like I definitely, it's funny because Andrew and I have handled things quite differently, he's definitely more of a feeling. He sat with it, he processed, like he really grieved. And I did too, but we did it in two completely different ways. Like I'm very much so like, I don't know. I felt like I just wanted to like live, live, live afterwards. I was like, okay, the worst thing has happened. I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna have a really good time. Which is crazy. Can I tell you the craziest thing ever that I don't even know that if I've said publicly? The day of my mother's funeral, I went to the blow-dry bar in West Hollywood and got a blow-dry from a stranger and cosplayed my whole morning. She's like, what are you up to, girlie girl? I'm like, just wanted to feel cute today. - What the fuck? - I'm making a conversation. - Yeah, I'm about to go like, put on a black jumpsuit and sit Shiva and I'm just kicking with the girls in West Hollywood like a crazy person because all I wanted to do was feel. I didn't want sympathy, I didn't want to ruminate in it. I didn't want to walk into a room and people be like, "How are you? Are you okay?" Like, I didn't want the shoulder, you know, the shoulder pads? - The shoulder pads? - With the chin askew, I went and moved to London. - Did you move to London? - I went to-- - With Andrew. - With Andrew. - And he was working there. - Yeah. - I knew that. - I left like three and a half weeks later. I was like, "Bye." - Jesus. - And I left. And it was the best thing for me. Because I was able to just like, solo process. I'm a solo process, which is probably why I'm a weirdo and can go travel by myself because I need quiet and clarity to like put the pieces together. I'm more-- I don't know what the word is. Like, I feel like I get deeply logistical when-- - If you want to fix-- - If you want to fix things and you want to control things that you can control. - Exactly. - Well, that's because you had no control over what happened. - Exactly. - Yeah, I'm very much like that. And I've become way more OCD and way more neurotic and controlling about things that don't matter like if things are going to be cleaned properly, probably because. - Probably. - I had so much loss. And I think all of them, you, me, and Andrew, have had like so much loss in such a short period of time. Like, my brother died from pneumonia in July. It is literally what month is it March? - Crazy. - Literally less than two years. And I'm just sort of like, and you also, I think, and you probably feel this way. But I always anticipated like what it would feel like for somebody to die. - Yeah. - But when somebody, when it just like happened, like your life is one way, right? For so long. - Yes. - And you're like, "Okay, well, the natural order is you're gonna die when you're really old." And you're gonna meet my children and be with them till they're 20 and whatever. And then your life is totally different. - Totally. - Halfway through sort of our life. - Yeah. - Like, 26 is really young to lose a parent. - Very. - Very young. You're like, figuring shit out. - Like what? - I obviously lost my dad in my 30s. But it was still like, I'm like, wait, what? Like this. But now I feel like the worst has happened. - Yeah, and I feel like it gives you a level of perspective and grit. - Grit. - It gives you grit. And it's not, I mean, it is the worst thing. But it also, it's okay. I always say that to people. I'm like, it's gonna be okay. Like, it hurts, it stings. But what are you supposed to do? Like, draw the shades and listen to goo-go-dalls, crying and doors, goo-go-dalls is trickering, by the way, because of my friends. - That's very trickering. - Yeah, that is very trickering. - Mom, what were you like in the 90s? Well, first of all, my mom's dad. - No. - And secondly, like we've ruined the goo-dalls. (laughing) - I also love that it's good for our material. - Yeah, so. - Do you know what I mean? Like, it was really selfless of them to just kinda kick it because then we get to talk about that and that makes us edgy. - Oh, I know, gives us depth. - Depth and we also, dimension, dimension. We can't like evolve to our most famous self without major trauma. - You need a story. - Everybody needs a story. - It's a story. - And I had not a lot of story and now I have a book ton of fuck stories. - No, same. I was like, my life, my childhood was great. Everything was great, parents left. We were parents together. - Yeah. - And Jesus Christ. - Happily married. - I had a great situation. But honestly, like the foundation, I feel like I had the tools to deal. - Don't you feel that way? - I feel that way and I think about that all the time. - Yeah, like imagine not having the tools. - The tools are very important. I think about that with my kids because I'm choosing where Rose going to kindergarten now and it's between two schools. And I really feel like I sort of went like this. Like I didn't really go to college, consist, I mean, I didn't finish it. I wasn't graded school. I kind of was like really out for like fun and partying and like hanging out and like didn't have like a clear trajectory in my life. And everybody that I went to school with that was like getting straight A's or valedictorian of the class and going to college, they're all fucking idiots and have nothing going the fuck on. And I like, and that was because of the balance and the tools that my parents instilled in me. Like they were there for me through every single thing. - Same. - And that is ultimately what your children need. - Yeah, the tools because it doesn't matter if you get into Yale and this that you're okay and you die or whatever. - Exactly. And it's so, so true. I felt the same way. - It's joke that I was hugged too much as a child. - I got the hugging. - So much hugging. - The asking you what's wrong when you're slamming the door on their face and you're like, fuck off. - No, totally. - But you need that. - But you need that. - You need that. - Lapse of like love and nurturing and like memories and like just like good, good feeling. - Good. - Goodness. - Okay, but your mom met Andrew. - Oh, obsessed. - Oh, I like that. That's nice. - Obsessed. - I obsessed. - Yeah, I feel like that was a huge part of like, my dad obviously knew Jordan when we were first together for a little bit. But then I also truly believe that I had Gray as close as I did to Row, so he could meet both of them. - Yeah. - Oh my God, that's amazing. - Have you talked to a media? Am I asking everybody this? I have to stop asking. - I met with Teresa Caputo. - Oh my God, so de-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi-cloi. - And it was kind of wild. And I'm like kind of cynical about that stuff. - I bet you were. - And she told me a couple of things. And I was like, okay, got to go, like freaked me out. - Did you meet her privately or like on the show? - Oh no, I met her privately. - Are you gonna have me on your show? - Yes, of course. - Okay. - Dying too. Don't wanna overwork and burden you. - No, I'm so into it. - Do you have to? - How often do you have guests? - We're pivoting from deaf. Kristin Wigg. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - She's gonna be great. - Who's your dream guest? Oh, look at me. - Oh! - No, literally no one. - You don't want anyone. - No. - I don't. - I can't think of one person. - Can I tell you something more horrific than. - If you lose another piece of hair, I'll die. - No, I need them for New York. - Okay. - She couldn't get me in, which is fucking bullshit, by the way. I have to go to a long chapter of this. Could you kill yourself? Could you die? - With who? - This girl. - This woman. That I wanted to get an invite for something. So I thought I was gonna have a finagle. And I got the invite yesterday. I'm like, "Well, then why the fuck do I go to a fucking lunch now?" - You have to go razzle dazzle. - I have to go razzle this. - I rather have sepsis. I rather have a UTI. - I rather have a UTI. - Oh, terrible. I'm so sorry. - I'm not like in a lunch that I can chill. Like a lunch that I have to be engaged in. But I brought flats in my cart. Like I just got a little dizzy. - Yeah. - Oh my god. I got dizzy by proxy. - I know. - That's so much output. - So much fucking output, I'm going to the Pasadena Antique Center. - Are you really? Do you go to the Rose Bowl for Jeans? - Jeans? - No, I don't do the Rose Bowl. It's too early and there's, I can't do that. - Okay. - I need like a curated environment with like a chopped salad next door. I can't do that. - Okay, so are you going to dinner during the week? Are you going out? - No. - Absolutely never, right? - No, never. - Not unless it like financially benefits me. - Right. That's what I'm thinking about stuff now. Like I am not going to stuff unless they are either paying me. Like when people are like, "Oh, come to this like hair event." Are you writing a check? No. - Like I'm not just showing up for you and converting for your ass. - No, it's not happening. Like I'm not going to a brand dinner. - No. - I'm not doing any of that. Like that you will never find me there. If you see me at any type of a brand dinner. - Mm-hmm. - Unless it's like a friend brand. - Right. - Obviously, but like if I'm just like at like a chapstick dinner, you have to call the cops. - They were not doing that. - Something's wrong. - Right. - A hundred percent not going out to dinner during the week. - Do you like that I have a photo and my show name or should I just do the show name? - No, I'm thinking about that. - No, I think this is good. - You sure? - Maybe. - Right. I was just, it just came to my mind. - No, I know. - Yes, this is good. - But let me show you. - It was also YouTube. - No. - No. - No. - Yes. - A hundred percent. - It's to, it feels to, no, this is good. This is flushed out. - I literally, because it's starting to pop up everywhere. And I was like, I don't know if people think I think that photo is that good, but it's the one I submitted because I didn't have another option. - No, it's perfect. - Okay. - It's clean, but not sterile. Got it. - Let's talk about your construction in your yard. - Let's talk about it. - I want to talk about it because I'm going to redo my bathroom. I'm going to do a cold punch in a sauna. - Love. - And I'm going to do a closet because I don't have a closet. - That's hard to believe. - No, I have like a room with racks. It is so dark. - Are we running out of time? - We're at 51. - Time flies when you're having fun. Kill me. - By the way, are you going to be recurring guests? Is that annoying? - No, I would love to. - I would love to. - This is so easy for me. I love you so much. - I can't even tell you. I feel like so calm and zen in my spot. - But you have to tell me, okay, I want to know about the yard. I want to know about the yard. We'll end on the yard because I'm obsessed with the yard. And I want to know the deal here. - Okay, so my backyard, my house is absolutely gorgeous. I've done everything. - Yeah. - And we were going to do the yard right when we moved in. And Andrew's like, why would we do that now? We should do that. We should do everything on the inside. - Yes. - Before we have children. - Right. - And then we can do the yard because it is the biggest project. - So where I live is like, not in the mountains, but like we, there's a mountain adjacent. - It's Santa Monica, Malibu mountain range. - Okay. - We've got, it's beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's serene. I have frogs. I have toe. I have, I have a zoo in my backyard. Okay, like there's, we have animals. - We have animals. - Okay. - I woke up six months ago and there was 30 goats in my yard because they hopped the fence because they have to clear it out for the brush. And then behind is like animals. - So goats. - Slide goats in my yard. - Got it. - But that's what we're dealing with. - Okay. - There's horses in my neighborhood. - Got it. - You know what, can I tell you, I love all animals. Don't love a horse. - I like the alert of seeing a horse when you drive to my house. - Yes. - But you don't want to get on one. - No, I don't want to get on one. - That's crazy. - No. - Like for sport, why don't you get on one more time? - For sport, why don't you get on one more time? Back to the yard. - Back to the yard. - Back to the yard. We are starting in like two weeks. It's going to be a catastrophe. It's going to be a year. It's so much work. It's going to be disgusting. But I'm so excited. And I love construction. - I do too. - I love it. I love materials. I love tiles. I just love it. I love all of it. - How does Andrew do with it? - He could be stressed. - A little bit. He just kind of really asks a lot of really unnecessary questions. And he likes to be like involved. - He just likes to know how things work. - Oh my God, the men. - I'm like, we hired a drainage engineer. Why don't you go do what you fuck and do? - Right. - Why don't you go pick up a guitar and fuck off? - Yeah. - We don't need to know the inner working. of a French drain system. Would you like to be a drain engineer? Do you want to be a drain engineer? So why do we just let it do it? And it's also like, we're paying a flat fee and an hourly on top of that. So every time I find a question costs about $38. I literally do the math and then I venmo request them. I'm like, you need to pay me for the time that you wasted while we were trying to execute things. Execute all my fucking guts. So you have a architect and you have-- I have a drainage engineer. I have an architect. I have a pool contractor. I have a general contractor. I have everybody. So are you ripping the pool out and redoing it? Everything. Holy God. Everything. And it's like-- I mean, this is-- I'm not being discussed in but it's kind of like a large piece of property. No. Oh, man. Are you upset? No, I can't even-- Woo! I got blurry-eyed. I love it. It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, I'm going to go into that, too, and I have to do the backyard as well a little bit, which is just like, you know, it's never a good time, but we just got to hit it, you know? You got to hit it. Yeah, I have a limestone price. They're going up, baby. Aberteen, all of it. And my team-- Can I tell you to be careful, a little tip, guys, because of property to property owner? Write this down. Limestone. I put it all in my backyard, because my dad did my yard. You know, it was an architect contractor. Yeah. And it bleached out so badly that it is so bright, you cannot go in my yard without sunglasses. So be mindful of that. So you say travertines a little bit more-- A little more color. It's a little bit more bejee. And it's-- but limestone is more beautiful, and you should do limestone, but it definitely is-- How bright is the yard? My assistant's like, yeah, it's very bright, because I was thinking-- I was doing like a travertine checkerboard then yet for this outdoor, like, little fireplace area. Oh, yeah. OK. But then I want it to be creamy. I want it to be-- I don't want it to be gray. I think you should do limestone. But if limestone is in direct sun, it will be so bright. I have a lot of greenery, like so much grass. Holy shit. You just deposited money into my account. Like the greenery-- a hedge. I will fucking leave my family for a hedge. I have protected oak trees. Nope. So many of them are protected. We're doing ASMR at this point. I can. By the way, I love an oak tree reminds me of my dad. Is that because we talked about all the dead people in our life for a long time? I hope so. OK. Let's do some rapid fire. Yay. We said goodbye, but we're back. We're back. OK. But the episode was gray, so we're just-- we want more. OK. All right. Potential rapid-- oh, not potential. Just the rapid fire. Right. Housewives are Kardashians. Housewives. Which gossip is juicy? Are group chat drama or family drama? What? Ooh. I would say group chat drama. I agree. Are you ready for this one? Oh, yeah. I thought you wanted me to elaborate. No. [LAUGHTER] Are you kidding me? We have to leave. OK. Designer bagger uninterrupted sleep. Oh, that's-- I know. Take a second. Don't rush. I know. Because I'm even struggling. Am I going to go to anthropology if I have a take a dupe? No, I don't think so. I think it's bag. I think it might be bag. I think so too. I'm paying all night anyway. I have all nights in my brain. I'm waking up. I've got sleep paralysis all the time. I'm waking up at two o'clock every night. Bare minimum, we should have a cute bag. There you go. OK. OK. Bravo marathon or true crime binge? Well, I guess you answered that, right? Bravo marathon, always. I'm living in the dark. OK. Same. A daily ritual you refuse to give up. Am I mumbling? You refuse to give up. Martini? I'm Martini. Like, I really-- Tell me you're Martini. What is it? Do you make it skate? Oh, I make it fucking skate. I'm Christina Yamaguchi. Is that her name? Yep. So I take my cup. I spray it with Firmuth. I have like an auto-automizer. OK. Yeah, a huge perfume. I don't want that. Yep. I spray it. I freeze the cup. No. Does it break the cup? No. No. No. No, no, no. It is crispy on a Gucci. There we go. There we go. And then I use a very unattractive shaker. But it's the best. It's the elevated craft shaker. Ice, Baluga vodka, or Belvedere. Those are the only two options. I do not keep the vodka in the freezer. That is an amateur move. If we need dilution in order to make it skate, you need room temperature vodka, because you need to shake it over a shit ton of ice. Got it. And that's how you get those ice crystals. We're shaking. We're not adding any olive juice. No, none. Zero. So just straight vodka right now with a spritz glass. With a spritz glass and blue cheese olives. And that's it. Heaven on earth. Can I tell you? I don't even like martinis, but the way you've described it. I need to have that. Could I just do an olive, not a blue cheese, because I don't like cheese? Yeah, that's fine. OK. It's honestly a pickling agent. Vodka is a pickling agent. We don't talk about it enough. You last time I had vodka, I was like off the walls. And now I do tequila, but maybe I need to switch back. It's really-- it's very nice. You know what's going to happen? If we don't stop, we're going to segue into another episode. I know, no, we don't. Yeah. Cut the lights. Yeah. The Morgan Stewart show is produced by Sirius XM and me, Morgan Stewart. Our audio engineer is Brendan Burns. Our videographer is Kim Cohen. And our video editor is Shannon Joy Rodgers. Our executive produces our Cody Fisher and Adam Sachs. [MUSIC PLAYING]