Something's Really Weird About My Sexy New Neighbor | Creep Cast

[Music] Welcome back to Creepcast. Today, I'm solo! My co-host, just gave birth. His child's name is Tonka. Inside of his womb, they also found the spear of destiny, the Rosetta Stone, and half an eaten chocolate bar, and Gary Delay chocolate. So, congrats to Wynda Pussy and his warm Tonka. So, today I am alone because Isaiah is dealing with his new grub. So, it is just me. I'm going to give the man a break. So, guess what, bitches? You are stuck with me. That's it! You're going to see why this is a dynamic duo and not a single show, alright? There's going to be a lot of weaknesses that happen here. I'm not even going to apologize, alright? I am a poor reader. Ironic, I know, but here we are. So, for people that don't know, I am here with my beautiful Patreon chat. This is being live streamed right now. So, if you ever feel like you want to be a part of this epileptic nightmare, right? Are you having a seizure? I don't know. Feel free to come over to the Patreon. We have a good time for, you know, people that are reading the, or for are listening on Spotify and Apple podcasts. Thank you so much for going with us here. Oh, my mom's here. This bitch just had her own the flow. Hello. I'm doing good. I'm recording a creep cast here. Oh, nice. So, there's an audience here as well. So, if you want to say hi. Well, hello. Hi, everyone. And, you know, if you're a few things, there is one point. Alright, well, if you can, would you mind just shutting the door? Alright, bye-bye. Okay. Okay. There it is. So, we're going to be doing a story that I feel like Isaiah wouldn't like, or he wouldn't want to be a part of. And it's going to be called something's weird about my sexy neighbor. Something's really weird about my sexy new neighbor. Oh, shit. Who's the editor put up? Put up the, the, put up the author's name. Goddamn it. Here, even sent me that too. Also, for audio people, editor put in an audio version of what the author's name is. Jared Roberts. You see, Isaiah does this part usually. And then I get to learn about it as well. There you go. That's also one of the things. So, without further ado, we're going to jump into it. Something's really weird about my sexy new neighbor written by. Jared Roberts. So, thank you to. Jared Roberts. For writing this. And we will leave a link below to go show them support. So, please do that. Okay. I've never had a sexy neighbor in my life. I've only ever had 53-year-old men. So, this will be new to me. Alright, here we go. Mom, do you hear Isaiah had his baby? Isaiah had his baby. Yeah. Is it a boy or girl? I don't know. They just said that the child's name is Tonka. Oh, just now? Yep, just now. No. I can show you a picture of it. Alright, Grandma, don't laugh at the name. His name is Tonka. It's a good name. Like the truck. Just like a yellow toy. Oh, my God. Did you say I want one so bad? You have like three if two. Yeah. I'm tired of voting ever. It's two. I want one like Isaiah's. You want one like Isaiah's? You want a skinny child? Is what you're saying. Well, you're the one who did the diet, bitch. Alright, here we go. Alright, here we go. Jared Roberts. About two weeks ago, my parents moved me and my little bro into a fancier home in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Okay, well, there is no such thing as a fancy home in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Dad got a new, better paying job. That's the reason they gave us at least. I know they wanted to keep Sam out of trouble. He's a good kid. He's just got a lot of imagination. I hate telling him we should make comics. Anyway, we were only there for a day or two when Sam starts to notice our new next door neighbor. I'm like, what's the big deal? Because he's telling me I have to come see the neighbor. Quick! Quick before she goes in. So I rush over to his bedroom window. Because it looks down on the neighbor's house. I'm thinking I'm going to see a weirdo with the stuff cat or something. But it's just this older woman. Maybe about 40. She looks pretty in like a Barbie doll kind of way. It's weird, though. Because it's really raining out there and she. And she just. She's just walking to the road to check her mailbox. You see the titties on that? Okay, come on now. All right, now this is some real conversation for the boys here, right? Here we go. Same as. You see the fucking titties on that? You see those big fun bags? Okay, that's improv. All through you can take that if you want. I slapped the back of his head. That taught us to treat women with respect. He knows better. But he was right, though. Damn, she stacked. With her shirt getting all wet. We're seeing a lot more than we should. Damn, dude. I can full steam ahead, holy shit. All right, now. Okay, I was a little jealous. The neighbor on my side's a fat guy who likes mowing shirtless. Yep. So I said to him, "I think we're spending a lot of quality time together." Don't fuck. "But me and you have got to have boners together in this room." "We're gonna watch the big titty 40-old lady outside your door." "I'd be looking at the shirtless mowing guy, wouldn't you?" I'd sit there and I'd be like, "I'm gonna see the guy on the John Deere bouncing up and down like this." You know what I'd say to him? I'd say, "You can have her." I got Jim. That's what I'd say. And that's how and why we started paying so much attention to the neighbor. Sam swiped dad's old army surplus binoculars and I had a telescope from when I was 12 and I thought I'd be able to see the other plants and stuff. Each night after moving again, we'd be turning out the lights and hoping for a show. God damn, dude. Binoculars and a telescope? How close are the titties? Are they trying to get? Good lord. I don't think I've ever actually. I don't think I've ever peeped on anyone with binoculars. You see it a lot in movies from back in the day, but I feel like binoculars are harder to come by now. Anything so? I don't know. Feels like one of those things where I'm like, "Where the fuck even buy binoculars?" You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know what titties would smell like. If I had a smell of vision pointed at a big ol' pair of middle aged titties, I don't know what they would smell like. Maybe like pumpkins. Imagine pumpkins. Day six! It didn't take long before we noticed some odd things about this lady. Like, it doesn't ever seem to sleep. Her lights stayed on all night. We could see her walking around. Still in the same shirt. Like she didn't change it in days. "I don't care if she don't sleep," Sam said. "Why the hell won't she get naked?" "I hate that shirt now. Why won't she get naked?" Maybe she's a meth head. That's a big thing in Oklahoma. She didn't look like a meth head. How'd you know? The internet. We moved in six days ago. That night was the first Saturday after we moved in. That's when we saw, the first really strange thing happened. We were picking up the window like usual. Nothing happened in a while and we were getting tired. Screw this. She's never gonna show the goods. "JP," Sam said. "Now I'm going to bed." I can see the tits on the internet all I want. Sam grabbed my hand. Sam grabbed my hand. "Now my arm." My hand. He hadn't done that since he was like five. "JP, look." He said with a swallow. He was pointing to her backyard. I looked where he was pointing. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to see. It's 2 a.m. There isn't any light in the backyard except moonlight. And she had a big tree back there. So I used the telescope. Once I got appointed and I adjusted, I see the white shape comes in a focus. And I'm looking at a face. Her face. She's in her backyard, peaking out from behind that tree. And she's looking right up at our window. Our lights are off, so she shouldn't be able to see us, right? But she does. You know, he just. no. We knew. I jumped back from the window with a gasp. Oh, shit! How long has she been there? He just shakes his head. We should be more embarrassed and scared. I'm a little of both. The same is just scared. That's weird, man. That's. that's weird! I tell him not to worry. She's probably just turning the tables on us. We're kind of invading her privacy after all, so that'll teach us. Then we ask, "Think she's still there." I don't want to look. It's just too freaky. So I take out my phone, turn on the camera, and take a video for about 30 seconds. I just hold it up to the window and wiggle it around a little. Mr. Flombie. Then I turn the phone back in. When I play back the video, we're relieved. Just the tree. No white face. no white face watching us from behind it. My wiggling somehow got the whole back yard and she ain't there. Same side and through himself back on his bed. I decided to watch the video over again, just to be sure. The back yard really was clear. It's just. that wasn't all. When I was pulling the camera back, it briefly pointed down. The record blower window, and there she was, staring straight up. Right there, close enough she could probably hear us talking. I shouted a curse word and dropped my phone, same set right up. I showed him. Just to be sure I wasn't imagining things, and he saw it too. We slept in my room at that night. He slept in my room that night and decided to tell Dad what happened in the morning. We knew it wouldn't go well, but at this point, I was less scary than the sexy neighbor. Alright, that actually got me a bit. On our. hunter take off your coat. Close? Alright. Hey mom! Come here real quick. Graham, if you want to, you can come in here too. Got a question for you. I'm reading a story right now, and I need a female's perspective. In this story, two young men, I'm going to say they're probably in their teens. Nine of the men, two boys. Their next door neighbor is a four-year-old lady with big titties, and they're. they're taking binoculars in a telescope to a look at her to see if they can catch a glimpse of the fun bags. Now they see her reciprocating that night. They're looking her back. They're like, "What the hell's going on?" And they see that woman's face behind a tree peaking back at him. Now would that be something that a female really does? Or if you caught those boys doing that, how would you reciprocate? Well, I certainly wouldn't go stalk them behind a tree. I would probably hold up a sign or something, so next time I be like, "I know you're trying to see my tits. Stop. I'm going to tell your parents. Do one of those deals." That's it? Yeah, I mean, they're freaking teenage boys. You would look at them and be like, "Hey, you stopped that!" I'd hold mine up like that, and I'd say, "These aren't for you!" "These are my dolls!" And I'd bark like that. I can't believe that I wouldn't do that. Also, what would your signs say? You're going to make a sign? I know you're lifting it in my tits. Stop. I'm going to tell your mother. Why don't you just tell your neighbor? I'm going to put them in the benefit of, like, look. So you're trying to help them out? Yeah. I'm trying to, like, "I'm not going to bust you, but if I see you, if I am with a total scope again or whatever." Yeah, this is bullshit. Telling your mom. I'm telling you. I would. You know what? Just for the hell of it, you know what? I would do. I'd do a little lazy season. I'd probably just pop one out. I'd pop one out. I wouldn't give them the whole inch a lot of it. I'd give them a taste. I guess the window. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'd hold that up. I'd saran wrap my chest up, and then just put a little gleam on it. Okay. What's this call? Because that creepy neighbor. Okay. We're not going to do that. The title of this is, yeah, you'll have to see what happens. I'll let you know kind of the gist of it. I don't know if this is done, but I was just like, you know, I was very surprised. You went behind a tree and stalked them. Well, I think this is a little boy penis. Oh my God. There's gross people out there. Yeah. You know, this is real. The pedophilic horror mom as well. This is a fun creepypasta story. I'll write in the sign, telling. Okay. It's not me who wants to see the. No one said it was you. I'm just saying that. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the female perspective. I'll share her. Ugh. You're a horrible, horrible woman. Sunday. That was pissed. All right. He made a smart over to her front door and apologized for peeping. Probably the most awkward thing we have, we've ever had to do. Get this. She answers the door in this loose lacy lingerie deal that showed everything. If you're inclined to look, and I was. Oh, damn. Oh, they're doing a little stacey's mom action. I think you're right. Oh, there you go. Mom is a pedophile. Stacey's mom is a pedophile. That's what I found out from the song. There you go. She answered the door to him in a like a little spaghetti strap lingerie. I know. She's a horror. She's a horror. It's disgusting. Lacy lingerie deal that showed everything if you were inclined to look. And I was. I checked behind me to see if anyone else was witnessing all this. But nope. But I got control of my jaw again. Oh, dude, he was, he was hitting the wily coyote. I tell her I'm sorry, but watched her. Yeah, right, dude. I want to have you said that. I have a little boy said that when he just. If he, uh, if he said that, would he do a little, uh, I wonder. Would it be like, uh, you know, I'm sorry for watching. Or do you think it was genuine? There's no way that was genuine. We were both hanging our heads in shame. I looked up to see if she was mad. Or if she was trying to seduce us or something. It was weird. Like, have you ever seen someone with no expression at all? It's like she was hypnotized. You should come in. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How do we not, does this not feel like this is going into straight up? I mean, what the hell is this? I mean, we're, we're reading this after the DOJ just puts out the goddamn Epstein list stuff. Come on now. What are we doing? You should come in. She said, she didn't, she didn't seem to feel it. She just said it. You should come in. Same look to me. I think he was ready to take her up on the offer. Okay. I can't say I blame him. She looked real good. But I told her we had to be getting back. Dad's waiting. She closed, she closed the door without a word. And. And. Dad asked when we got back. I told him she didn't seem mad and I told him that she was, what she was wearing. I felt if we were going to be in trouble, he shouldn't, he shouldn't, uh, he should know she's teasing us too. I can tell he doesn't believe me. He says he's going over there to apologize for us. If I find your line. Yeah, he's gonna go over there and apologize for us. She's wearing what? All right, I better go make sure. That's what I feels like. If I find, if I find your line, you'll be wearing your balls for ear and you hear me? We stood in the kitchen waiting for him. And when he got back, his face looked slack and pale. It didn't seem mad at us anymore. It looked like he'd seen something awful. Same elbowed me as if it didn't, same elbowed me as if I didn't notice myself. Sit down, he told us. We did and we all started eating breakfast. Mom was still asleep like usual. She always stays up late catching up on DVR. Catching up the DVR at Saturday nights. What the fucking year is this? The DVR? Would she also TVO something? DVR? Did the last time I DVR something, it was like 2006, 2007? She always stays up late catching up the DVR on Saturday nights. Don't bother with that woman ever again. He said between bites. Okay, we agree. Alright, that's fucked up. We didn't dare question him when he was in a mood. But I've never seen him like this before. And that's what was so scary about it. We kept eating our breakfast and silence until he asked. I would tell you about Red Finney. He mentioned that name before. We knew Red was a kid in his neighborhood when his dad was growing up. Somewhere in Baltimore. But we didn't know anything about him. We asked before, but he always changes the subject, so we shook our heads. Red was stupid. You hear me? Stupid kid. Always poking his nose where he had no business. He took a bite of his scrambled eggs. There was this big dark house on our street. Three stories. No other house in the neighborhood like it. And it was there before the neighborhood got built around it. Real old family. Just held on to that land. Lots of stories about this house. We'd all look when the lights came on at night. Never see anyone come or go all day. At one time, we're watching and we hear the scream. We know it's from that house. And it didn't sound good. And from that day, Red got the notion in his head. It was going to get in there and see what was going on in that house. What does that make Red? Dad asked. Stupid. We both said. Anyway. Then one day, Red was gone. He thought this was going to be a heist. We'd go in there and find some ancient jewels and a ghost and solve a murder. If Red did what he was going to do, he didn't tell us. And we didn't want anything to do with it. Breaking an entering was not a part of how we wanted to start life. He just went missing. Never found him. We thought all kinds. Maybe ran away. Maybe he killed himself somewhere. Something happened in that house, right? I asked. Oh, yeah. That was another one. in there and maybe just never got out, but here's the thing. He paused to take a drink of his coffee, like he was setting himself for something, but here's the thing. When redwood missing, that came up, and we met the owner of the house. Oh my god, it's going to be the fucking lady. The fucking neighbor is going to be the woman and she's going to be the same age, holy fuck. She showed some titty to red fucking 60 years ago, whatever. He had finished off his breakfast after that, took his plate to the kitchen, sank to clean it off, stuck in the dishwasher, being sampled with each other. Well, what I was saying is, that woman next door on that house, damn, she aged better than you. That's very good. You're not listening too busy cracking wise. What I'm saying is, that woman next door was on the same street as me, right? When I was a boy, she was a grown woman, looked exactly the same. You don't forget a woman who looks like that. What? That's not possible. It's not for me to say what's possible or not. I don't need to know why or how. I'm just telling you like it is. And you're not to bother with that woman. Now let's get to church. I have a scaredy boner. Time to go to church now. Let's go talk to God. Can't get a boner in church. That would be fucked up though. I feel like there's been times my life where I've had stuff like that happen. You know what I mean? You feel like you see something and you're like, look exactly like this neighbor I had when you were younger. It's like this like clear delineation. I don't know. This idea that you, you see some, like if I saw my neighbor and they were the exact same age, it would, that would fuck me up. Also too, I feel like I wouldn't just brush it off though. I feel like I would, I would need to do a little more investigating if I'm being honest. I don't think Sam and I had had ever been so quiet and well behaved in church. I don't know what was going on in his head. Probably something like that was going on in mine. Who is that woman? She related to the woman dad grew up near. That's one heck of a coincidence. Not impossible. I mean, you hear of a lot of my siblings working together in the same talk about without knowing it. So who knows? It's just, when you add a strange behavior to it, it's just a big what the fuck. Since then, we've only casually looked up the window. She hasn't been in the backyard staring at us anymore. We kept our word to dad and left her alone. This other part of me just can't get her out of my head. I don't, I don't think Sam can either. He slept in my room twice since then. I think she's watching. He said, I asked if he looked and he says, on a chance. Hmm. What kind of fuck yeah, but I think it's kind of irresponsible. The, well, I guess, you know, the dad's trying to definitely give him a warning here, but at the same time, what the fuck? Like if you're a young kid and it's like, that's pretty, that's pretty fucking horrifying, right? I don't know. Did I really hope this doesn't turn to a vampire story? Maybe it will. Maybe it will in a cool way, but give me the fuck away from vampire stuff. We did the motel one. We've done a lot of vampire stuff. I would like it to go in a different direction if possible. You know, although I will say some big, beautiful, beautiful, milky vampire titties never heard anybody literally ever fact check. The Grand Canyon. The next night I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up playing Mario Kart with Sam. It's near midnight when we hear Sound Outside. It's one of those times where you mute the TV, then you don't hear nothing. So you go back to what you're doing, and you start hearing it again. Like how does that, how does that sound know your ears are occupied? Sam saying, I'm telling you, she's out there doing something, JB. And I don't want to go look, so I tend to tell him that it's a raccoon or something. If you want to go look so bad, you go look. We decided to go look together. It's not that smart idea. I mean, it's easier to see two people than one. We did turn off the TV, so there's no light at least. And we look. We both then curse and ducked down right away. Do you think she saw us? She wasn't facing us. I told him. She was out there, but her back was toss. She looked like she was gardening or something. Keep in mind, this is like close to midnight. The folks are already in bed. And Damon Barbies out there doing yard work. I don't think so. She was digging JB. He says his eyes got that scared look. We do paper scissors rock. It's rock paper scissors, dude. Don't fucking, we do paper scissors. We do rock paper scissors to see who has to look at this time. I'm a dumbass who always, I'm a dumbass who always does paper and Sam does it, so I have to look. She's digging all right. It tells Sam. Really going at it, too, tossing dirt every which way between her big ass tree and her fence. I think it's a body? Sam asks. Too small for a body, I tell him. What about a kid's body? Stop freaking me out. I tell him and flick his ear. What should we do? Sam's asking like I know. Holy shit. I say suddenly because I just realized something. I thought she was wearing some tight white suit or something. She's not wearing a suit at all. She's just in some lacy bra on panties. Is it a kid's body? Oh my god, she's half naked. She jumps up and starts looking with me right away. Man, here he was supposed to be all scared, but I say word naked and he's up like cramp on a bingo hall. She's just dragging something in a trash bag into the hole while we were both watching. And we both see it. Something's in the bag moving. I keep thinking of red finny. What if she's doing it again? Who would we tell? Sam's be thinking the same thing because he says to me, "We're gonna have to take that up." Oh, I almost forgot. We started noticing this funny smell coming from that house. It's worse at night. It's like burning sugar and plastic. I saw this dog one day walking along the sidewalk. It goes all the way to the other side of the road passing her house. Like it was avoiding her. Doing something almost seems like I'm wondering if she's doing a little fucking Arochimaru action. I mean, she's grabbing children and then sucking their life force from him so she can stay young. I don't know. She is white. She's deathly pale. For me, whenever I read that she's like all white, I imagine that it was more like, I don't know, when like a body, like a dead body, like in a lot of movies, when there's like dead bodies or something, usually they're like stark white. I don't know. Oh, I almost forgot. It's worse at night. And I never saw a bird or squirrel in her yard at neither. I know I'm just cycling myself out, but it's crazy. And here's the other thing. I smelled that smell before. Like my mom's always saying you remember smells better than anything. This was when I was real young. We were out just me and my dad at the barber shop. Dad let me go to the venue machine to get a snack. I smelled that smell coming from across the street. The door over there is open and I'm thinking, this is like a candy shop. I got my $2 from dad. So I'll go over to get some candy. Didn't I hear my dad shout? No! Like he's mad at me. But like he's scared or something. I go running back thinking I did something wrong. He grabs me up and he's just looking at that place. I'm scared and also disappointed. I wanted to see that candy shop. God damn it. I'm looking at that place too. When I see a big snake comes slaring out in the door closes, that's a bad place. Dad said it took me back into the shop. Okay. What the fuck? This is like kind of like almost like a. It's obviously feeding on children. There's some kind of element of it. I'm telling you man, the Orochi Maru call out might be for real. All right. I do like the. I do like the. I do like the witch angle. I think that you guys might be right. I think like a witch, some kind of witch or something. The snake in particular does making it seem. The snake makes it seem like. Not like. What is it? Like a druid that turns into animals or something. But also just, you know, the snake being like an unholy figure. It does seem like there's some kind of witchcraft going on or something. A familiar, yeah, yeah. Or shadowed Jutsu. That's right. Believe it. It's time to talk about something scary. Your health. I know I don't go in the doctor as much as I should. If I'm feeling sick, I'll just lie in bed and sleep it away. But that's only because I don't want to have to deal with the appointments, insurance and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's why I have Zuck Doc. Zuck Doc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty. From mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care and much more. 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Later on, he told me they found some missing kid in there, so I have to never, ever just walk off again. I don't remember that part much, just my dad's face when he grabbed me in that snake. So anyway, it sounds like we're going to have to dig that up. I'm about to give him a good punch and a shoulder and tell him he's nuts, but I don't do anything. Neither does he. We froze because now she's facing us. You think she's staring us again, but that's not it. She's bending forward to shovel the dirt into the hole, like leaning way forward so we get a good look at the scenic vistas of the Grand Canyon. Know what I mean? Sam grabs the binoculars and we look at, and we each look out at, Sam grabs the binoculars and we each look at out, out aside. While we're looking, I swear I hear her laughing since chills right through my bones. She's still just filling the hole though, so I don't know. Maybe it was in my head. Sam said he doesn't know what I'm talking about. After patting down the hole, she goes in. I will say, because she has, she's burying something. It's alluding to maybe a body. We don't know what it is. I will say which being a big titted woman to lure in young boys is a very interesting concept is like a little, as like a bait is like a little, like throwing a lure out to catch something, you know? But it definitely feels like it's going to be as soon as they get close to her. She's going to be like disgusting or decayed or something. It feels like it's going to be a, I don't know. It feels like this is going to be something where it's, it's like she's using the looks for deception or something, like a big titty, angular fish, exactly. As soon as she's gone, Sam's ready to go over there. I tried talking him out of it, saying we should let Dad know. I'm going with or without you, he says, so I tell him to go. What? So I tell him to go, and what kind of flowers he would like at his funeral, because Dad's going to kill him when he finds out. He tells me buy and heads downstairs, I want to strangle him. I do. But I can't let him go alone. All right, good brother. For a second, I thought he was just going to let him go alone. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? We can't get to dad's shovels without making noise. We can only get mom's little garden shovels. Then we leap the fence from our own yard. We could have just walked around, except we might be seeing, but we might get seen if we do that. We try to dig fast. We know she never sleeps, except tonight, apparently. First night since we move in, that all the lights are off. We got a lucky, we got a lucky break, digging with that stupid little shovels taking forever. So I start getting in there with my hands. Soon, I feel the plastic, and I pulled up slowly. Like the very minute I have it, I get light pops and a light pops on in the house. Oh, shit. Like the very minute I have it, a light pops on in the house. Oh, my God. I look up and see Sam walking up to the back door. I grab him by the back of his pants and yank him, we got a run. He got this blank look on his face. Almost like her. And he goes back and say, "Run!" And to his credit, he does. We don't even bother filling in the hole. We jump the fence and we're out of there. Once we're in the house, we're like, "Oh, shit. What if this is a kid's body? Now it's in our house?" I did paper. Oh, I did paper again, so I'm the one that has to open it. Whatever was moving, whatever was moving isn't anymore. I tear it open and look. This big nasty snake falls out of the bag. There's a round a little until we get it to go out the back door. Oh, my God. Fuck sakes. Being in a trance, too, is kind of like a little trance is pretty sick, too. That idea that you're digging hecticly and look up in your brother's just like mindlessly walking towards the back door. Fuck that. Sam's looking at me like something really isn't right here. Like, who bears a snake in a plastic bag at midnight? What kind of voodoo shit is that? For me, though, a snake, for me, though, a snake again, a snake in that smell. How's that possible? When we calm down a little, I go looking in the bag. There's one of those letterman jackets, something wrapped in it. It's a kid, Sam says, and I think it's about to faint. I think it's a box, I tell him. It's creepy wooden box. Let's get past the unboxing video, it's got some teeth, pictures, and a pair of old plastic binoculars inside. Weird. We will say. I'm wondering at some point, red, it almost seems like maybe that's red, red's body. Also, too, with all this stuff, of like him remembering shit as a child, almost usually think of like, I don't know, reincarnation or some shit or like, almost like the kid is almost like our protagonist has like lived this before or like lived it in a past life or something, I don't fucking know, dude, shit's got me freaked out, got me kind of got me wet in the panties. Pictures are all pretty old and they're all of boys, boys, me and Sam's age, teens, none of them look like they don't, none of them, none of them look like they know their pictures are being taken, most of them are on the street. A few seem to be their homes, a few of them seem to be in their homes, I only recognize one person in the phones, that's Dad, I tell Sam, he calls me a liar though, his heart isn't in it. Look, I say hold on the picture into his face, it doesn't argue, just moves on the other picture, but just moves on to the other pictures. One of the pictures has a boy wearing the jacket we pulled out of the bag, it must really be the same one, Sam's nodding, but not saying anything, we're both thinking it, it's just not possible, she'd have to be like 70, no amount of Botox can make a granny look like that, I guess it could be her daughter, still, I bury this stuff after all this time, can't make heads nor tails of it. We agree, we have to show Dad, oh he was mad, we lost window privileges, we lost some window privileges, oh he was mad, we lost window privileges, you ever hear of that grounding, taped up our windows with cardboard, looking outdoors as for boys who don't purve on devil milfs, he's not wrong, after that he took us on a drive with him, just driving around, and he talked, we kept our mouths shut. My whole life, my whole life been in apartments, he said, always paying rent to somebody, nothing for myself, this is the first time I've placed my own and you boys know that, we ain't going nowhere, you just have to stay away from that female next door, stay away from that house from that yard, don't look at them titties, there's enough of those on TVs these days, you get me, we got him, dad gave us plenty of talks before, he's like Obama with the speeches, he never gave us one like this before, he's like Obama with the speeches, he's like Obama with the speeches, what does that mean, oh let me be clear, okay okay I see, I see, I see, let me be clear, don't look at them titties Michelle, he never gave us one like this before, red finny wasn't so, red finny wasn't so stupid, he was stupid, but he was stupid because he always listened to me, red thought Thaddeus was the smartest boy there ever lived, but no, I was the stupidest one there, I was one that started him, he pulled into the casino parking lot and stopped, if we heard the scream, I was spying on that house all the time, at my cheap binoculars, I saw that female just her shape, finally one night, all the lights went off, I called up red and we went, one of the back windows was left wide open, we didn't even have to break, just had to enter, there was this funny smell, almost choked you, we hear snoring upstairs, and red says he'll take downstairs in the basement, I get upstairs, I'm looking at all these rooms, just empty rooms, I hear the snoring come out of the one of these little female mones, I got that girl fever going, so I decided I got a peek in the room, going real slow, I'm scared as hell, but I think to see her sprawled out there on the bed and some tiny nightgown, that's not what's in there, there ain't anyone, there ain't anyone in that bed, it's a record been playing the sounds the whole time, I tell myself then I'm stupid and red stupid and we're both stupid, there's real trouble here, I see these pictures around the record player, same ones you found that box minus some, I just sneak out there and go to I try to sneak out of there and go to red the door won't push open I push harder it starts moving Then I hear this laughing. I see the same. I see some old man was pressed up against the door I'm so scared now I get mad What the hell are you doing you old creep? I say something to that effect He tells me he has some candy for me, but he's holding a wood chisel. I run out of there I hear red screaming from the basement that it stops. He won't answer. I hear someone I hear someone coming and laughing I hear someone coming and laughing. Okay, first I want to say it's not Someone is walking towards me and laughing. Okay, I thought I was gonna die The window the window I came in closed up solid now. So I smashed through that thing Still have to score on my ass from where I crawled out Told what I could without implicating myself. Maybe should told more Maybe red might still be alive today. That's what I have to live with He could still be alive. I said son That was reds Jackie you found He wore it that day That place was evil That female is evil. Somehow she found me You just keep your nose as clean and you say your prayers. Just look at board and go trust your old dad We drove back home didn't say it another word. Mentally, I committed to doing just what that asked nose clean, high-fiber diet and brighters okay The the old man bit Freaks me out. I will say Is the old man were they you think that there was implications that they were hypnotized at all here to go in otherwise is the man Just putting on a record of snoring And he's just like I have somebody comes in here so I can offer them candy and I can laugh in the basement and come you know, I mean is it one of those things is to me I'm like it feels kind of weird What do what also to I think that it's I think that we're dealing with yes some kind of like If even if it's not a witch it it makes you think that the man in there is the true form of the big-titted woman and that's just like praying on Little boys, but maybe it's an older man who's trying to suck the youth out of Like trying to suck the life force out of young boys for himself. I don't know So things like this happen and they don't just leave your mind. So as I'm making friends at school I'm just gonna pretend I don't have a succubus living next to me I was talking to this one dude and he tells me how we should hang out this weekend And where do I live? Oh, man poor Darnell I'm sure we just want to enjoy I'm like I'm sure he just wants to enjoy my company and not to look at the evil sex pot next door I see the street. I say the street and before I give him the number. He says oh Damn you mean the street with the big titty girl these they these tits have got to be legendary if it's spreading across It's like a god damn wildfire in this town, dude These are some biblical titties. Holy moly This dude pal tells me to come on. I need to talk to Darnell I don't know who that is and while we're walking he's saying how they all know about her Darnell saw her first because one night he was driving around and saw this crazy sexy woman just Taking her trash to the road and when she bends over to pick up a candy recycle. He almost hits a fucking tree He keeps circling the block to drive past again and and he says she's not even mad. She's waving Next day, he's telling everyone. I saw this fine piece in this tiny little dress and these big old melons and a pumpkin ask And they were like melons and pumpkins you know I'm talking about and he said Pumpkin ask because when I saw it, I was like I want to be pumpkin that ass All right, this kid rules did This is this is a this is a this is a sharp shooter if I've ever seen one I was trying to ask this guy some real questions, but he's got tits and ass on the brain now And he tells me how Darnell was was taking them on drives past the house during during Lunch for a month, but they stopped so I ask him why Because Darnell came in one day city had hit that rearranged her guts good took all the mystery out of it Driving by wasn't the same after he's lying We found our now out in the parking lot He was sitting in the Mustang door wide open with a few other dudes around Pal tells Darnell I live next to pumpkin ass of Darnell's like You get with it yet? I have to drop my man. I don't want to sound like a loser. What do I mean? So I just say not yet That I says oh you missing out my man. You think the outside of that's good bitches even better on the inside Best pussy I ever had Woo The dudes around him are saying even better than lefty But he ignores the jab and keeps going She wants it so bad. She pulls me in the house and tore clothes off. She's so wet I slide right up in her and she's begging me to go slow and mode and it tells me it's too big And you know what she feels like inside Pussy the dude says That uh, I will say the What's going on? Is that does it feel like is it pussy? I'm telling my man It feels like there's all these tiny little hands in there like thousands of them all the and they're all the massage and rubminy like milk and a Tiny little hands one of his buddy says You sure was it yours? They are all laughing at him and he was getting mad until he saw I wasn't laughing You know, yeah like like every cell just wants to make me feel good You've always wouldn't know about that, but this guy does No, he said I never got with that call me a liar I guess so Because if you went in there you wouldn't have had a good time and you might not even got out He showed me up like uh, he shoved me up against another car and got in my face with some with some threats He wanted to fight uh, he wanted me to fight him, but I walked away Dead don't mind me fighting so long as it's worth it, and I knew it wasn't What school is over? Darnell was waiting. He asked me if I want to drive. I tell him no way But he says he's but he says he has something he needs to tell me and it's about that woman He seems different now the cockiness is gone So I get in he warns me. I can't go telling anyone what he warns me. I can't go telling anyone else What he's about to say? I'll be driving by there all the time Take an excuse you know Like she knew I was coming. She'd be out there doing something each and every time Her eyes would be like oh come fuck me Darnell come fuck me and part me it part of me was like too good to be true And another part a big part you feel me was like hell yeah This one day I'm done playing so I stop and I go up and I knock She's at the door wearing almost nothing at all I'm like if there's a lottery for ass, I just hit the mega millions jackpot I straight up tell her she's been cock teased and long enough. She says well, I don't do something about it And that sounds like she's playing But she could have just been uh she could have just been the weather radio the way she said it Oh, yeah, so she oh shit so she was just like why don't you come do something about it She didn't she didn't even ask twice though. I got my hands all over that and close the door behind me She feels cold, so I say I'm gonna warm her up good It's real weird because she's not like reacting at all I'm squeezing those big tits and she's thinking about her netflix Big tits and she's thinking about her netflix. Should I squeeze harder baby? I say and tell her and she tells me to wait there I'm there for minutes and my patience is about to war my patience about war out. I don't hear anything Like she just disappeared Just house noises a clock taken like a faucet dripping and then this chuckle I wonder what she's playing at I call out and she won't answer I hear a thud So I go looking I want to get to the stairs that's when I that's when the whisper start Like she's talking to someone Maybe she's on the phone Telled her husband she was Telled her husband she's just been doing laundry, you know fool me Keep going up to stairs and now I Know someone else is in the house Whoever it is sounds like a fucking elf or something I don't know and he just keeps laughing in this way that gives me the freaks I go in the room with a couch and an old old TV like you know those TVs that got wood panels who wants a wooden TV I go in there with the I go in there and the whisper start stop right away man. I mean right away I'm getting some bad vibes Then I see her there The back of her head She's just sitting there on the damn couch watching TV I'm thinking what the hell is this Which is down the fuck suddenly she needs to watch her afternoon shows So I go up to her and I say Hey if she turns round And ain't her at all It's this creepiest shit old man He's wearing her hair and her dress and he's laughing I said you think this is funny? I mean where is she yet? He points behind me and it looked behind me and it's a closed door I turn back in a few seconds and this old guy moved like an arm length away I can smell him Smells like Like where there's original Fucking old man candy Scared the shit out of me Man I swear this is true I look over shoulder and whatever the hell he was watching on TV is watching us now It's like a it's like a talk show But they're still right at the camera and not saying nothing What the hell does that And the old man starts pointing behind me nodding and laughing His eyes are the craziest I've ever seen in my life And I want to look but there ain't no way I'm taking my eyes off that creepy son of a bitch again So I back down out that room and he says to me in this voice Like he got a radio static in his voice or something and he says. "You made the right choice." I didn't even notice until he had a corkscrew in his hand. I bolted the hell out of there. We'd just been driving around the same block while he got this whole story out. I got the feeling he wasn't telling me something, so I said so. Okay. My granddad raised me for when I was really young. My folks ain't worth a shit. My folks ain't worth a shit is why. I tried to spend most of their life in prison. Granddad had been dead for a year now, on the way out of that house. I thought I smoked my granddad. The same smell, always, that same smell, always in my granddad's home. Almost a way to turn around and look, but it didn't. I don't believe in ghosts and shit, but I was so scared it had me imagining. He stopped the car at the very end of the street, far from that house. None of us had a word for while. I believe the story though. I didn't believe he rearranged her guts, this I believed. That got me laughing a bit to myself. A whole thing was so creepy and serious that it made me laugh more. The fuck, Darnell said. "Where'd you get the tiny hands to shit from?" I asked. He burst out laughing too and told me he got out of his car already. When, uh, told me to get out of his car already, when I was getting out, he said, "Be careful, man." I decided I wasn't gonna tell Sam and Sam what Darnell said. He don't need to be freaked out more than he already was. He wasn't doing many favors, that's for sure. At night, Sam was watching anime in his room and I was on Discord with some old friends. Sam comes in my room looking like a ghost. J.P., she's right outside the window. Dude, you didn't take that- you didn't take down that cardboard. We'd been real good about doing what dad said. I ain't look at them titties- I ain't look at them titties since. I thought about them a little though. Sam says, "No, I just- I hear something." I'll go back to Sam's room and I stand there in the front of the cardboard. I tell him I don't feel- I- I tell him I don't feel anything. So he tells me to listen real close, hold my breath, and I hear it. It sounds like someone- it sounds like someone heavy breathing on a phone. Look at the movies. Just the wind and the trees, I tell him. Relax. I go back to my room a few minutes later. Sam's back. I'm like, "Come on man." 'Cause he's acting like he's five. He's begging me to come hang out in his room. And I do. But when I get in there, that breathing sound's already gone. I sit on his bed and I get on my phone. And then I hear it, like- like scratching at the cardboard. But the window been pulled up. I freeze up. Sam's just looking at me. Then the breathing starts up again. You don't say a word. Too scared for that. I get up off that bed and get close to the cardboard. Sam's shaking his head. I put my ear against the cardboard. Hear anything? Sam asked so shushed. Sam asked so I shushed him. I hear a- I hear a vehicle got side. Some crickets and then a whisper clear as if someone's in my room. How's it start now? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I think we should tell that, I tell Sam. He's staring at the cardboard like he's about to piss himself. I turn and see two fingers poking through a gap in the tape and quickly pull back. We didn't waste another second. We were getting dead. Okay, that shit actually got me. I'm not gonna lie. I heard that shit. I actually scared myself. I keep thinking someone's behind me and shit. That's pretty fucking good. I do love the idea of a guy, like, of a guy lying about a sex story to his buddies when it was like a traumatic thing. And then we get to hear this guy who was just like, I was just trying to get some pussy and all of a sudden he's terrorized by this guy and a fucking wig. Very odd. The supernatural element to the story is very interesting because it doesn't take huge swings. Like the TV, it's almost like the hypnotism factor is like having people hallucinate things. Darnell looking at the TV and there's people just staring at him not saying anything. But it just seems like it seems like it's hypnotizing people so you can get close enough to kill him or something. A few days passed with nothing else happening. Dad was practically on patrol. He'd been checking up the windows all the time. He put an order in for cameras. He was doing his best to keep us safe and I remembered how awesome he is. The only thing is he wouldn't go to confront her. When I got home from school that Monday, Sam was already home. His middle school closer to home than high school. As soon as I come in, he grabs me by the shirt and starts yanking me to his room. Also too, I would imagine that even if they tried calling the cops or somebody, I think that we've at least the story feels like it's established that even if the cops went there, either one the titties are so magnificent that the cops are going to be distracted by it or it's just they're going to be like, it's just a woman. I imagine that the entity or whatever would put on a show to not get caught. His middle school is closer to home than high school. As soon as I come home, he grabs me by the shirt and starts yanking me to his room. He was like, "JP, what should we do?" And I'm like, "Go our separate ways." He then puts these panties in my face. They're lacy red. I don't think they'll fit you, I said. He says he found them in his school bag. He shows me on the butt. On the butt helped me as written an eyeliner or something. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait. So is the woman being used as like a fucking. Is it like a pond? What? All right, you motherfuckers who are saying snap. You need a guy on a first off. I just want to say this to the people listening to this right now. We have a patron whose name is fucking Rick Sanchez. Does he even have a profile picture of Rich Sanchez? And he just keeps typing sniff. All right, that's it. Welcome to our community. What do we do, JB? We got to show Dad, right? I tell him no. I had this idea just filling around the back of my mind for a while. I didn't pay too much in mind. This message is like missing a piece of a puzzle, you know? Dad's already on a rampage. If we show him these, he'll whip our asses with our own dicks. I'll hide them. I mean, think about it. She's got these crazy hypnotized blank stairs. There's all this strange stuff. There's a creepy old man, Darnell, so on the house. And now she writes a message that just says help me. I have to trust my god. Maybe she's a victim. Maybe I can save her. Maybe she'll want to reward her hero. And I'll say, I'm no hero. I'm no hero. Just in the right place at the right time. And I take her to a movie and one thing leads to another. And I sniffed the panties and I felt I was right. Okay. All right. Well, there we go. Never mind. Rick Sanchez, you are completely. Rick, you're completely. You're completely fucking. You're justified. He sniffed the panties. There you go. Okay. Yeah. Why do I? Why do I even try? You know? Rick, I cannot believe to say this book in a creep cast episode. Rick Sanchez hit a bear trap. Wow. Good for you, Rick. One point for Rick. We'll give him a point. I think it's a trap. So it tells me later that night. Just tell Dad. It does smell like a trap, too. Sure. But I can make an ex-- but I can make an executive decision. We're going to hide the panties under my mattress. I'm going to see if she's dicking with us. Nobody's telling Dad nothing. I go take the trash out that evening. And while I'm out there, I slip. I slip my undies in her mailbox. I wrote on them 2 a.m. garage side door. Why not just in a fucking-- why not just a note, dude? Why didn't it head for your underwear? I said an alarm to wake up at 2 a.m. except I can't sleep. Neither can Sam. We're both too wired thinking about it. I go into his room and we wait for 2 a.m. It's a school night. So you have to be real quiet. Sam whisperers. What if Dad's right? I guess we're fucked. You whisperers again. What if Dad's wrong, though? Maybe we'll get fucked. That cracks him up. Makes him relax a little more. Now, 155. I go take a piss. I'm not even drinking anything. But I have to go every 20 minutes. I'm so nervous. Just takes me a few seconds. When I get out, I see stamps. I see stamps. I see stamps. I see stamps standing frozen in the doorway of his own bedroom. I go to ask if he's okay. I have to cover my mouth to stifle my scream. She's there. She's standing in Sam's room. Wearing the same lacy, what they call, "negla-j," I guess. Because it's like she's. It's like she's "negleed." Is she's "negleed" to put anything on? I'm too freaked out to be excited. She says some things that I can't follow, because I'm still in shock that she's just there. Sam and I closed the bedroom door anyway. It's at Sam's bed. And it's at Sam's bed with her. It's at Sam's bed with her. I guess that's what she asks us to do. I don't remember. "How is it that you're acting normal all of a sudden?" I ask. "You're in creepy as hell, peeping at us from behind the tree." "That wasn't me," she said. "That was him." "He looks just like me sometimes." "Who?" "Pros." That's what he calls himself. Who knows, that's his real name. He started having seizures of some kind. What? Okay, what the fuck is going on? Hold on a second. Hold on. She's completely normal right now. Question. "Why do you not run for help?" Well, I found a pair of shitty underwear. I better go talk to the neighborhood boys next door. Am I lost here? Unless this is coming into some kind of. Well, it could be a trap. That is true. It could be a trap. But it also. could be her just being like, "Hey, you're in immediate danger, and I have to tell you I can't go anywhere else right now. I owe it to you guys to tell you." I don't know. She's whispering real low, like she's just a few feet away, but she wasn't traced to her robotic like before. Or she wasn't trans to her robotic like before. She felt like a real person, like until she was scared, and I was right I'm thinking. It was right all along. She was a victim. She's normal now. Look at her. She even moves her hand when she talks. She didn't do that before. I'm looking at her in that neglect, neglect J now, and I don't know. She sees her start a few days ago. When they happen, I can think for myself. I don't know how long it's been. Cheers. The first time was the night I buried the stuff in the backyard. That was a warning. I know you guys watch me. You're supposed to. He wants you to. I made sure you watch me digging. Did you get the warning? Why didn't you do anything about it? We felt pretty stupid then. It made perfect sense though. She wanted us to dig it up, and at least we could say it's dad's fault. If you're good now, how do you know dad and what happened to dad's friends? Sam asked. He remembers you from years ago. She looks sad and Sam asked that. I gave him a punch in the arm for making her sad. Man, she looked good just sitting there on the floor. I wanted to comfort her. She says she can tell we don't believe her. It looks like she's about to leave. I would like them to ease up online. I feel like the situation is serious enough now to where even the horniness of a boy should be. It should be done now. I give Sam a calm your ass down. Look and tell her, I believe you. She smiles at me. Sweet and warm like apple pie. 10 was wrong. I knew it. I'll tell you something. I've never been able to tell anyone before. I was just a little girl living in some rundown apartments in Denver. My parents were gone a lot, doing odd jobs. I always noticed this little hole in the wall in my bedroom. Sometimes at night, it hear funny sounds coming out of it like moans and whales and snickers. Very faint. I believe some of our many strange neighbors were doing it, or their pets, or their televisions. One night, sounds seem a lot closer than usual. I stare at the hole for hours. You know when you stare at some point in the dark room, how everything around seems to get darker and darker. Then suddenly a white face is there looking up at me. It's looking at me from inside the hole. I shriek but it was too scared to move and my parents were gone, so no one was coming to help me. He kept watching me. The hole was with the size of a coffee cup. I didn't see his whole face just parts of it at a time. His gritting eyes and nose, or his nose and mouth, I just had to imagine the whole face. I didn't like what I imagined. Then it started talking to me, saying I should relax and he's just my neighbor and he knows this strange hole in the wall. I sighed in relief right away. I was still not comfortable with this man looking in my bedroom. At least I understood why this was happening. I told him the hole was there for a long time and he asked if I made it. I said no. He asked where my parents were. I told the truth. You still with me? No doubt I had the dumbest look on my face because I had just been caught enjoying the view. Then I saw she was calling out Sam not me. "Show some respect!" I told him. Then told her to keep going. Yeah, I feel like you should. That takes me out of the flow. All right, come on. When he found out I was alone, he said I should come over to his place. Come on to the other side. He's been my neighbor for a long time, he said. I should come over now. We just moved into that place a few months ago, so I didn't know what he was talking about. He said at least come look through the hole. I started to go that I heard him snickering. Same sound I heard before. I knew something was wrong with the situation, so I threw a pillow in front of the hole. I didn't hear him for a few seconds. Then he screamed this awful scream like a train breaking. I cover my ears until it stopped. Then I heard a different voice like a crumbling building. I thought it was the dog looking her feet, but it was me. I ran into the kitchen and cried myself to sleep that night. Oh, what fucking lick in the tootsies. Good God. What dog? I asked years before that we had a little pom pom and my feet stick out and my feet stick off the side of my tiny bed. Sometimes I feel these little licks and I'd giggle and pull my feet in. I never thought about it. It was like four, but you know what? That dog was never allowed in my room. I remembered that then and I never put it together before because nothing else seemed possible. I don't think I'd never been so scared in my life than when he told me that. I told my parents what happened. My father talked to the building owner. They came to my room really concerned. Owners moves the pillow side, takes a look at the hole and just like that, he says my story is made up. My father was getting mad and yelling at the owner. The owner said I'm a liar because no one lives on the other side of the wall. He can guarantee it because it's not just a joining wall. It's sheet rock, then brick, then outdoors. Father tells him he doesn't matter. Take down the sheet rock and see what's between the walls because his daughter doesn't lie. He was my hero. He actually did take the sheet rock down. It was the narrow space. I was a tiny girl and I would have trouble fitting. No grown man could have been in there. The only thing inside was snake skin. Ah, dude, he's fucking the snake, the snake skin motif is where the fuck is this? What is happening? What is this creature? Years later, that man found me again. I won't talk about that, but that's what he does. Find someone and once them and he'll wait your whole life for the right moment. Oh, shit. Okay, well, fucking dude, our protagonist and Sam, they need to, they need to tell their dad immediately. By the way, their dad is in trouble. That was her story. That's some weird shit. I told her if that's even half true, she needed to run away. Well, she could go to the police, but she said he'd be looking for her by now. She needed to hide for the night. Can I stay here just tonight? She asked. She was so close, I could feel the heat from her body. I could smell her. It wasn't candy this time. She smelled like flowers and strawberries. I would have told her, I would have told her, no, if I had, if I had a book called How to Murder Your Neighbor and get away with it in her left hand. You can stay in my room. I said without hesitation. Sam looking at me like I just, like I just took a dump on his head. I think it's because he's still scared of her, but it comes up to me when she goes to the bathroom and says, I should stay in your room. She gave me the paintings, remember? Should we do rock peepers scissors? I had some good motivation this time. No, I mean, I did rock, and it was decided. I have a pretty big closet, so I said her, so I said, uh, so I sent her a place to sleep there because his dad saw her. That'd be it. He sent us to the glue factory. She asked if she'd asked if he'd be mad. I was like, mad. You know what it's like to have your own foot broken it off in your ass. Now I said, also, isn't this like how old is this woman supposed to be first off? I think she's 40, right? Yeah, she's 40. What the fuck is that? Now I said myself down in the bed and tried to sleep. How am I supposed to sleep with all that in my closet? I keep thinking of what Darnell said. Mega Millions jackpot in the ass. That's about right. I must have been staring at the ceiling for an hour when I feel her crawling to the bed next to me. Oh my god. Oh my god. Bra! It's too good to be true. Run, child. Run! You're still awake. She asked. Too much excitement, I guess. She put her head on my chest and her arm around me. I can feel her breast pressing against me, so I think about that creepy old man instead. Who is he, I asked? Why me? Why dad? If he has a reason, he doesn't tell me. He goes from town to town. Each place, he takes a kid, usually a teen. And since he got me, he's been focusing on boys. He uses me as a lure. Let me go to the next town. Alright, that's a bear trap for me. That is a fucking bear trap. I want a point as well. Rick Sanchez can't get the only bear trap. Alright, that is a fucking bear trap. What happens to the kid? He doesn't, he doesn't think like we think. He's in touch with something else outside the natural order. He told me about it once, a long time ago. When he used to talk more, he said he killed a man in his youth, went to hide in Canada, deep in the woods there. He found something. Somebody showed him things. He uses the boy somehow. It disappeared and he goes on. "You're shaking," she said. "I have been trying to hide it, but my whole body was like jerking. I couldn't control it." "I know. I told her and she started rubbing my chest. He just keeps me in a box, and I hate the box. Do I have to sleep in the closet? Can I stay out here with you?" I guess. She said she wanted to thank me for helping. It's just to thank me that night, as she did. It was the best thanking I'd ever had. And after all the thanking, she told me what we really had to do. What? What? This has to be written by like a 17 year old boy. I'm going to tell you that right now. This is probably 100% written by a 16 year old boy. I'm telling you that right now. She told me what we really had to do. No running. She tells me he'll always run faster We steal his pills. They're not from the pharmacy. I can tell you that without his pills. He's powerless Can't even make him can't even make more If we can get in the house and take them we can kill him and I'll be free Kill him. It's fentanyl. Kill him if I'm free. I'll have all the time in the world for thinking you more. She said okay This is a okay If I'm free, I'll have all the time in the world for thinking you more. She said okay, so first off That this is person's evil There is no fucking way there is there this is the most Obvious trap My boy is blinded run away child again with that she gave me another sample of her gratitude I heard the call of booty. I agreed to her plan All right, I heard the I heard the call of booty and that I will say that's pretty good I don't have to use it on my wife some time. I heard the call of booty. Okay, so I'm thinking I'll slip out and get them now Before it's too late as I was getting ready by the light from my phone. I hear something Remember how my mom stays up watching your stories. No, cuz I thought her mom was fucking I thought their mom was dead I even though that she was there. I thought it was just her dad Remember how my mom stays up watching your stories Well mom walks in right then to ask what I'm still doing up as she sees the girl. I'm a bearist thinking Now my mom's gonna know I was just with this girl and that's my mom and then oh, man What about what she tells dad? She doesn't say what I expected all she looks scared to death now. Let me tell you a little about my mom She's super smart reads like a book a day. She used to teach a geologist she used to teach geology in school She got burnt out. She stays home now and keeps to herself She's always been a little different like She could tell you when you're sick before you even feel it So mom sees the girl my bed. She puts her hand on my chest and says John Baptiste who is this man? You know when people say the blood drained out of me. I didn't know what that felt like until then I Turn around and she still look she still looks at the girl to she still looks like a girl to me But she's smirking most evil damn smirk I've ever seen she pulls a cardboard off my window and climbs right out Still smirking I'm runs up and hugs me. She hasn't done that to me in like two years and I cried The busy is a dangerous and powerful drug my friends My man was my man was in the desert and saw a mirage John Baptiste who is this man? That is That is fucked John Baptiste who is this man is a that is that that has to be a creep cast legendary line of my my god The call of bussy is louder than is louder than most my god Tricks how was how was that title of the chapter not tricks my my god hold I feel like the wind is knocked out of me I it's one of those things where it's like it's too good to be true. It really is obviously, but I Did not expect the story to go where the where the guy fuck the old man. That is crazy My god Old grandpa pussy dude, let's fucked up little grandpa bussy wrapped up and depends Tricks mom woke dad up sat us all down and she didn't even have to ask for an explanation She just had to look at you may and say and crumpled like a fat man's lawn chair. We just We just up and told them everything That's the oldest struggle no no man that said after a moment a boy is loyal to you to his dad or to his dick Ordinarily his dick is gonna live longer except I haven't decided how I'm to deal with you yet. So that's up in the air He was saying his normal mad threats. Also, I just want to say cracking a joke. I just want to say the offer author. I am Emotionally swinging all right. I am emotionally swinging the dad that we were still cracking jokes and John Baptiste just fucked an old man fucked bussy like a couple times He got sucked and fucked by an old man. I mean, we're still we're still cracking jokes. I'm just gonna say that we're still cracking jokes about all right He was saying his normal mad threats, but this wasn't dad when he's mad. He was more disappointed. I don't know Never seen him like this. We say we're sorry and we mean it. He takes me aside and tells me it's too late for sorry Once that thing got your juice you're marked How do you know the daddy? How do you know about juice? I Started to get offensive like that. She's innocent. You've seen that creep yourself with the wood chisel. She's under a spell I'm thinking we can rescue her and maybe even stop that man before he hurts anyone else as just shaking his head like I'm trying to order a big double at a burger king You remember that time at the barber shop you're going across. I told him that I remembered so he would stop there Okay, do you remember the time you almost got on that school bus and I stopped you I Barely remembered that it's not something I thought much about as I remembered it I was around nine or ten sand was six or seven. I remember this woman what waking us up to go to school She said she was the babysitter. That wasn't anything strange She was strange, but we just did what she what we just did what we got told got ready and headed out to wait for the bus The babysitter standing beside us in the porch and not saying anything. This part is what I remember best when the bus pulls up She starts hitting her head against the porch post and groaning The bus wasn't like our normal school bus either. It was white and one of the and one of those short buses Me and Sam were going to it because what else could we do and neither? Never could see the never could see the driver suddenly we see we see dad drive up and come running out of his car We're surprised because he's supposed to be at work He's yelling for us to stop and he grabs us when he catches up the bus driver the bus drives off right away So we think we did something wrong, but dad lets us watch TV the rest of the day And that's what I remember most Something weird happened and the dad let us watch cartoons all day long Where my favorite memories It was Memorial Day. He said there was no school that day. Oh my god. Okay, I just want to say I just want to say This this story that I'll tell you what the little little little reveals are haymakers all right The little the little the The reveals are haymakers. I'm not gonna lie. This is right when I think that like some of the sex and like the jokes or whatever It just it pulls you back in with something Also, if it's a white if it's a white short bus does anyone else just think that it was just like a white van I feel like I feel like I'm in my mind. I'm just picturing like a Chevy like a Chevy white man They never found that bus nobody knew who the babysitter was and She wouldn't talk I guess the police I guess the police picked her up Mom and dad really did have to work and there really was a babysitter The fake one told the real one to get lost But you know the thing that freaked me out the most the thing that freaked me out the most learning this It's not just what would happen to me or Sam if we got on the bus. It's that I know I saw some kids already on that bus Bruh, oh my god Dude when when the fuck is the author gonna let me take a minute dude my god I feel like this is round three in a boxing event like I am I'm gas, dude Holy shit Once you get marked They think they got a claim on your offspring like it's theirs Dad said I know I ain't the only fool that dipped in that. Oh my god Jesus. I know I'm not I know I ain't the only fool that dipped in that But they're not having my kids now you've gone and made sure you live with the same shit I did I don't make sure you can't have no kids right now. They please tell me this is not like a Tommy Taffy thing This is this is this is this is slowly Slowly becoming a Tommy Taffy situation if the dad and Tommy Taffy fuck Tommy I think I think dad could see he got to me. I was near tears Not just because I've remembering what happened. It was just thinking that one bad choice could ruin my kids lives Hi I plan on having kids someday. He puts his big hand on my shoulder Dad hands always feels like it wades about twenty pounds. He says I just need to get I just need to get to school and he'll take care of it Dad, you're like 52 all right, and nothing has happened. I don't trust you to just solve this I don't trust the dad to do anything. What has the dad done yet? Oh, just go to school your dad will take care of it How about no dad? How about you fuck yourself, okay? Then you're gonna tell me what really happened with you and Red because we both know that he just confessed to getting it on with the woman And he very much admitted that detail from the original version of the story You're on the school get on to school for now. He says wait, so hold on hold on. Let me just make sure Am I read? The guy was sitting on the bed. Are we too assumed that they get that the kid still had sex with like Some woman who is under a spell that I'm guessing was the same woman that was on the porch Or is this or was it that even the dad doesn't realize that he had sex with the guy So it is the dude. Okay, so I'm guessing that I'm guessing the dad doesn't realize too that he that he also Then I guess the dad also dipped it in So the both of the, so both his son and the dad have gotten to experience like devilish grand pussy. Okay. I meet Sam at our street as we're both coming home from school because we can see dad's car in the driveway. Aside, we find mom and her back room reading daddy anywhere in the house. I just want to say to it is odd how calm the mom is. Both the both the mom and dad have got me have got me questioning things. Why is the mom still just reading junior B Jones in the back, goddamn room like nothing's happening? Did she just see that her son got done dick and down an old man and our, even her husband's just like, yeah, put my dipstick in that a couple of times and then oil's clean. I mean, why is, why is no one else? Why is no one else reacting? You know, inside we find mom in her back room reading daddy anywhere in the house. We asked mom what's up, but she doesn't know. She's been lone wolf and again. She gets worried when she's, when she sees her faces. So we have to fill her in. She keeps asking more questions, so we have to keep answering. By the time she's done, Judge Judging us, she knows just about everything there is to know. "I've never heard of Red Fenty," she said. "You just believe everything that man tells you?" They'd call your dad red on account of how he, of how he charged you when he played. "Hold on a second. Let what?" "I've never heard of Red Fenty," she said. "You believe anything that man tells you?" They'd call your dad red on account of how he charged you when he played. "What?" "There is no, there is no fucking way the dad is re, I figured it's just some lore from dad's life she forgot. So we show her the pictures of Red Fenty with the jacket. She says they all, she says they all had that jacket back then. The boy in the picture was Phil McCoy and no one ever called him "Red." "Oh no," I said, because I knew where dad was. I took off running to the neighbor's house, Sam was right behind me. We didn't care what creepy shit was in that house. Dad says a lot of colorful things, dad says a lot of colorful things, I know it seems like he's mad all the time, but Sam and me, both know he do anything for us, even die. He made me the guy I am today, all the good parts anyway, he's just the most amazing person I know. What the fuck are you talking about? What? I mean, what? He's the most amazing guy I know, one fucker has he just been lying to you this whole time? I don't know if I like the dad, if I may not, so the dad, I don't know if I'm on board with the dad, all right? So thinking I'm going to kick in the door like in the movies, except it isn't even locked. We just open the door and walk in. First thing I noticed, this is smell like burnt sugar no more, smells like more like old socks and jock straps, he's been fucking. It's real dark inside, everything covered in white cloth. There's handprints on the walls, but they're down low, like someone was crawling around on their belly. JP, why are those fingers so long? Sam asked. Let's not ask questions, let's not ask any more questions, I said. We come to one room at the end of the downstairs hall where we can hear flies buzzing around inside. There's got to be thousands of them to make that noise. Sam looks at me like he's about to open it, but I stop him. That could be in there, he says, I just know I got a real bad feeling about that room. Like almost making me sick going near it, I tell him to trust me and he does, oh my god. We went back to the where the staircase went up, we could hear voices, we tensed up at first, we're ready for a fight and tell you recognize the voices, they were our own, what? We got nearer and could hear what we were saying, Sam saying, she's a titties on that, but he wished he picked this room and me saying, I was spending a lot of quality time together. Inside that inside that room, the wall was just full of monitors, a control room or something. They were all playing some video from inside our home. One monitor even showed me and Sam as kids, playing with toy swords, I never saw that video before. I think there was blood on one of the monitors, I didn't tell Sam, I didn't want it to lose hope. We left that room and went across. This one, this was the room, Darnell described, the old TV in the couch, and someone's sitting on the couch almost screaming, I saw it, I slowly walked forward, then my eyes adjusted. There's no way it was the crippled man, I didn't know who it was, it was just a middle-aged black man just eating oatmeal and watching some black and white TV show, sir, I say, don't put me in the dark, don't put me in the dark, don't put me back, and you kept saying that last part. He didn't sound scared, but there was no feeling to it, he just kept saying the words, eating oatmeal and watching a show, I shake his shoulder and tell him he's, that we're looking for him, my dad. Fad, he went upstairs, now he's gone, gone where, into the dark, we talk about it too much, it's liable to come get you, you want to see a trick, he put his hands up to his head, the TV turned off, I couldn't see remote anywhere, pretty cool, huh, we nodded. Remember how you'd fall asleep watching Aladdin, yes? Remember how you'd fall asleep watching Aladdin, bad for the power bill, wanna see another trick? Sam started tugging my hand at that point, I don't think he wanted to see another trick, I know for sure I didn't. He put his hand on his head again and screamed, as soon as he did, my phone started ringing, it was my dad, dad was calling, I told him to shut up and he stopped screaming, I answered and both me and Sam were calling to him, asking where he was, on the other end, all I heard was hissing, nobody ever spoke, where's dad, I asked the man again, I bunched my hand to a fist because I was about ready to get some answers from this A hole, he put his hands up to his hand, oh okay, I think he just, he puts his hands together, you don't wanna see this trick, I followed Sam out, I followed Sam out and downstairs, the buzzing had left, the buzzing had left that one room, so did my bad feeling, inside there's just a pile of tar on the floor and a dead snake, more crazy voodoo shit I thought, we looked in every room of that house now, dad wasn't inside, we told mom and together we made a police report, police told us they'd look into it, but our dad, an adult, but our dad an adult and if he chose to run off with a sexy neighbor that makes him a jerk, not a criminal, I couldn't believe they saw that anyway, I couldn't believe they saw it that way, they didn't know dad at all, plus the house next door wasn't officially occupied they said, a couple from Vancouver on did, they leave it empty until they fly down in the winter for a few months, so they figured dad had his mistress just chilling there, I, what the fuck is going on, okay, couldn't you just, I mean, okay, so they get there and the guy is gone, whatever, but could you say, hey, there's a guy in there and he's like fucking tapping his head and turning on TVs and calling my dad or whatever, there's a goddamn dead snake and tar in there, hello, what is happening, I don't know, energy, about two weeks after dad went missing is when the white dudes ensued showed up at the front door, don't want to deal with no Jehovah witnesses with all that's going on, they were something else, they show up with their badges that say the apartment of energy, they're asking to speak with John Baptiste and I say that's me, they come right in without asking, they sat on the couch like really close to each other, their hands were touching, it was weird, like there's plenty of room guys, then they started asking questions, they want to know everything about everything that's been happening, I'm not sure what I should tell them, I don't know these guys, I don't like it much either, I just tell myself if there's any chance they can help with dad, I should tell them everything, I do just that, the full crazy, not one turn of batshit left out of it, they don't look surprised or nothing, like I was telling them about last night's game, you know what they're more interested in, the box, did you see the box, yes, I tell them no, I didn't see it, and could you have seen this box and not been aware of it, and I was like, if I wasn't aware of it, then I wouldn't know if I've seen it or not, so that's a yes, it's a no, they each pulled a Capri Sun from their inside pockets, stabbed it with a little straw and started sucking, what a dumps drink Capri Sun, then they say, have you or anyone in your family had sexual contact with entities residing next door, it's funny because I heard entities as then, as I heard entities as them titties, I know that sounds childish but they said it funny, what, like they wanted me to hear titties, they didn't seem like something in the department, they didn't seem like something the department of energy would do though, ignored it, because that one small detail had indeed left out of my account, they had no business knowing that, are you guys here to help find my dad, Mr. Bastem, they answered with, where is he, I tell them I don't know, that's why he's missing, they look at each other and grab hands like they were somebody caught movie, they finished their Capri Sun and politely returned to their own pockets, listen John Baptiste, one says, did you get a grasp on the, did you get a grasp on the identities of the neighbors, again, identities was pronounced as I like them titties, I dim titties, we get it, I told them that they know all I know already and that half of it was probably bullshit, don't be a boob you said, breast they to do is cooperate, it might be tituous, but take a moment, try to juggle your memories, it's losing me in, this is, this is, just like that, that's how they said it, now I knew they were dicking with me, but they look so serious, like crazy serious, I don't know if they ever smile in their lives serious. It wasn't no prank or joke, they were just trying to get under my skin, or messed with my head or something. It was working too, I was thinking of a big, soft breast and feeling guilty about it. Then they asked if they could use the bathroom, they went together, and you know what? I never saw them again. There's no way out of that house except windows. None of the windows were open, didn't look like they'd been to the bathroom either, just not sure how they did it, but they just fucked off. Same came downstairs a minute or so later, he'd been asleep, he'd been sleeping a lot since dad went missing. Guess how that guess that's how he handles it. He says, JB, who the hell those dudes in your room? So we run upstairs and there's nobody there. No way to get out except them stairs. You hallucinating? Two dudes in suit just walked right into your room before I ran down. They were smiling real wide, but they were assigned above the door saying, this way for blow jobs. That's another weird thing, to get upstairs, they would have had to come back out from where they, uh, from where the downstairs bathroom is and walk by me. But that never happened. I don't know how they got up there or where they went. We searched every inch of the home to make sure they were, they weren't hiding. Only finding, uh, only thing I found was a business card. They left it on my pillow. Days later, I'm still thinking they're gonna pop out when I'm in the shower. I don't know who those guys really were, I don't know what they want from me. Pretty sure they ain't department of anything. Pretty sure they won't be helping me or dad either. The next day, I was driving home from the grocery store and I see the middle-aged guy from the house. Right, Fanny, I guess I'll call him. He's walking real slow along the sidewalk, shuffling really. I pull up to him and say, hey, you need to tell the police what you know. Where's my dad? He keeps shuffling along. Look, I'm not even there. So now I'm starting to get mad. I'm yelling at this guy. This lady runs out of the apartment and is like, excuse me. What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are? I tell her this creep knows what happened to my dad and he won't say anything. She says, Mr. Terley has advanced dementia. He barely knows where he is. Let alone your dad. Leave him alone. She tells him, come on inside, Mr. Terley. Some people just don't understand. Is there, uh, is this not one of your tricks? I asked the man darts his hand into my car and grabs my phone for my pocket so fast. I almost didn't notice. He starts messing around with it while I'm trying to grab it back. Then he holds it out like he's giving it back. I don't, uh, and I see he's got a slight look. I grab it anyways. When I do, he pulls me close to him. He smells like mothballs and rotten meat and he whispers, call your dad tonight. Midnight. The lady says, Mr. Terley, you want us to take your lights away? Do you get inside? I watch them walk away. I can't help but notice the lit and I can't help notice the lady nurse. She's got this nice fat butt with a tiny waist. A pumpkin ass like Darnell says and fine legs too. I'm looking her up and down and I see he got and I see she's got snake tattoos on her ankles. Kind of accepting kind of sexy except then I think of all the snakes from that house. She turns back and gives me, uh, then she, uh, she looks at me just then and I exaggerate. And I exaggerate when I say it looked like she wanted to stick a butcher knife in my face. I drive the hell out of there. It's like, it's like a weird fucking like penny wise. A weird penny wise creature or something. I don't know this whole thing though. I've, uh, the continuous callbacks to how sexy the thing is, is, is getting a bit fatiguing. As I'm realizing, we're almost two hours into this. That night, Sam and I watched the clock tick down to midnight. We did what we wanted now. Mom didn't care how late we stayed up. She just hid with her books. Why in all these stories? I feel like you, you see it a lot in children's stories where the parents are just super incompetent. It feels like that. It's time. Sam's shouted. I dialed the number. We dialed many times since dad, we dialed many times since dad disappeared. We fill up his voicemail. We'd ask for the phone to be traced unsuccessfully. This time for the first time it rang. It rang and rang and rang. He's not going to answer JB. Sam said, saying more discursion ever. Let me try again. And I did. He kept ringing again. But this time, so unanswered. Dad. There's no answer. It's not silent either. You can hear breathing and some kind of activity. Then then dad's voice singing. He's singing phenomenal cat. He used to sing that song to us all the time when we were little. Exactly like that. We're trying to talk to him the whole time, but he just keeps singing like it's a recording. So he give up. We just listen to him sing. And then the phone hangs up. We tried calling it back. We tried calling back and it went straight to voicemail. We told the police, but they still believe he ran away with his neighbor. We told him about the Department of Energy too. And they politely told us they get lost. Thea sing it hunter. I don't know what what I wonder what a phenomenal cat. It's a phenomenal cat. Look at him go. He jumps. He rolls. He sings. He's a phenomenal cat. Me and he's here to brighten your day. There you go, phenomenal cat. Finger. My dad sister came down from Michigan to help to help find dad and help my mom cope. She really, she really was there to take us back. I guess all of our family agreed we couldn't handle that house by ourselves. And she had us pack up what we needed, put it in her van and drove me Sam and mom to stay with her. Since we've been staying with Aunt Thea, nothing at all happens strange. No Department of Energy, no creepy old men, no snakes, no titties, neither. I almost forgot, I almost forgot what normal was like. Kind of boring, but cool too. I'm okay with it, but I miss dad so much. He's going to make me wear my balls for earrings. Who's going to make me wear my balls for earrings or whip me with my own dick? Who's going to get mad at me because I scratched myself in a funny way? He's out there somewhere, I feel it. I didn't know how Aunt Thea, I didn't know Aunt Thea too well. She and dad didn't have a good relationship I guess because he'd never talked about her and she never visited. She was practically stranger. Mom needed the help though, so she took it. Once we'd been with Aunt Thea for a month or so, I started to trust her. She was good to me and Sam and she listened to us. She took the time to get to know us. She said good things about dad, so a little bit of time, we told her about what had happened. She never once said it didn't, she never once said she didn't believe us. One day, Aunt Thea told us that she remembers when she and dad were both teens and he came running into the house at night and he looked scared out of his mind. She thought, uh, she thought right away that he got himself involved with gangs or some, uh, or some such. Some shit, I don't know. She rolls up her magazine and gives him a good hit with it. He got mad. She said, but at least he's at least he's not scared anymore. She tells him that what he gets, you tell us what he gets from messing with gangs. It ain't gangs it all though. There's something really wrong with the people in that big house. She tells him he needs to relax. They're just circus people. Dad's like, what the hell are you talking about? Aunt Thea tells me, but sure enough, I remember seeing them put on a magic show. I think it was like the circus, this old man and a woman. She looked like she was in a days the whole time. He had her hide behind a curtain. Seconds later, she walked out of a door on the other side of the other side of the stage. They were good. I thought, uh, they're good. I thought I had it figured out that she had a twin. Then they took a volunteer. They had them go inside this box. They pretended they'd lost him after that. The box is empty. The young guy wasn't around nowhere. And finally, they go and find him in the box again. Maybe my hair stained on end because it's swear to Jesus. I don't normally swear at all that what came out of that box was not the same boy at all. Looked just like him, but it wasn't him. I knew that boy and that wasn't him. Or if it was him, he'd lost something. He left town right after that. Some folks said he'd seen things in that box that it took him somewhere awful. Other folks laughed and said the magician paid him real well. Now that's what they all call. Now that's what they call depression. What I really want to tell you is what happened the next day. Your dad goes off with his friends up to this up to their mischief. They stay home like I usually do. That lady from the circus comes by knocking on her front door in person. And she's so beautiful. I remember thinking that face, uh, I remember thinking that face like a heart. Big eyes, lashes fanning out like a wooden imp. I was predisposed to think unkindly towards her. However, I can, I can't tell you why. She says your dad left us something in her house and she knows, uh, as she shows me his watch. It was a gift from our father. He ought to be ashamed for losing it. She asked if she can come in and give it to him. What's a lot of cop shows? I know a little about looking around. I fainted myself as detective. So I gave her a good look over. And do you think a girl like that wouldn't cast the finest shadow you ever saw? It wasn't. Her shadow was tall, laying and bent over like a wet scarecrow. There's no angle or light that can make this girl cast that shadow. Oh, that's sick. I believe the devil can take any shape. So when I saw that, I grabbed the watch and told her to never set foot on the home again. Uh, she laughed and said she goes where she pleases. She said that, but that was the last time I saw her. That's kind of sick, dude. Sam and, uh, Sam and me would talk to Aunt Theo a lot after that. She's just sharing ideas about what happened, thinking things through. We didn't have a court board with string or nothing, but we were a little team trying to solve a mystery, keeping each other honest. Having someone you love missing a strange thing, if you go back to living your life sometimes, being normal, and then you feel guilty because you spent some time living when they might be out there waiting for you to save them. That's how it felt. It's not the same, it's not the same as if Dad died. He was out there still. Even if her months passed, I believe he was out there. We never stopped our beatings. We've been named the group The Finders. We didn't do much of any finding though. More just looking. We searched the internet for clues for hours and hours, and there was nothing. You think something, you think someone else out there had the same story, but nothing. We had no leads, no further research. So what would we spend our time doing, just talking about it, analyzing the experiences? It was like therapy, it was like therapy, and theorizing, like philosophy or something. Aunt Thea would listen and give us hints and guide our thinking in one direction, and then tell us why that made sense or didn't make sense. Like, is that lady a demon? Well maybe, let's think about it. Demons want you to damn yourself and she wanted well, there was another topic. What did she want? She's got Dad. Is that all she wanted? Does she have to dig naked in her backyard for that? Does she have to rub her, just she have to rub the titties over to get her dad? And Aunt Thea would ask questions like, so you grab my rice crispy squares when you want to watch a movie. What's them squares got to do with watching a movie? So I guess that the point is she wanted dad, but I was a snack. On we went, lots of looking, no real finding. We decided that we were all people once, bad people, and something happened to them. We decided they were all people once, bad people, and there's nothing happened to them, but Sam said they're aliens and maybe he's right. It helped, it helped, as therapy it helped. We were doing something, we were understanding what happened to us, understanding it. Aunt Thea said, we could master it, control it, I wasn't sure how, but she was convincing. We finally had a big break through after months, it was completely unexpected, another, and it only happened, we finally had a big break through after months. It was completely unexpected, and it only happened thanks to Sam. Thanks to Sam being a little pervert, that is, we were reviewing the events again and we got to help, we got to, and we got the help me message. Aunt Thea was asking more and more questions like, are you sure it was eyeliner? Could it have been ash and such? And that's when Sam revealed it. I still have the panties. Want me to bring them? We managed to sneak them out of my room and keep them with his stuff even after we traveled. He told no one until this very day, when he saw the steering, he looked ashamed and admitted that he liked to smell a little pervert. Just go get them, Aunt Thea said. Sam offered them to her, but she backed away like they were made of buttholes and platonium. Just put them on the table, she said, anyone touching them will be under its power. Sam and I exchanged a look, we heard a lot from Aunt Thea and never hint that she was a Santaria. What the fuck does that mean? Santaria or Regla de Ocha is an afro-cuban religion blending Europa believes with Catholicism focusing on relationships with demons called Aurecia's for guidance and protection. Okey dokey. This is powerful. She announced, JB, I want you to go to my bedroom, look under the bed where you'll see a wooden box about the size of your Xbox, handle it from the sides and bring it to me. You got it? How do we know this isn't the old man? How do we know this isn't the old man with the box? Hello? I'm almost positive that, hey, bear trap is priped, is prepped alright? I'd never been in a room before, at this point I expect to see chicken feet and shrunken heads, but nah it was just a normal older lady's bedroom. Eww, I found the box right away, when I got back, she had moved Sam back against the wall and was walking a circle around the table, she ordered me to place the box on the floor next to Sam. She came over to the box, squatted down to open it and pulled out an old MP3 player. I only know because I had one when I was five. She plugged it in, that hooked it up to a little speaker, set that was also in the box. What is that? Sam asked. "It's how Jesus listened to music," I said. Suddenly, the spoof criminal was blasting as loud as his little speakers could manage. "I'll be able to tell you where they are," she shouted, "You have to leave." I saw her sit in the chair against the wall and close her eyes. She was muttering something as we left while Mako Jackson checked out on Annie's status. We left while. "Fuck!" I saw her sit in the chair against the wall and close her eyes. She was muttering something as we left while Michael Jackson checked out on Annie's status. Sam and I didn't know how long this would take. It's not like she told us much. So we just hovered around the door for a while. I gave Sam crap about the panties while we waited. I was surprised they weren't crusty. He didn't reply. He just waited with his head down. After 30 minutes, we got tired of it and did another thing, then we went to bed. Anthia still hadn't come out of that room the morning. We could still hear smooth criminal on repeat. Sam went to knock, but I shook my head. Turns out he didn't need to knock anyway. The music stopped right then. She came stumbling out of the room all sweaty and coughing. We had to help her downstairs. She drank three full bottles of water and ate all the pop tarts right out of the box. "What happened?" "They're here," she said, "indetroit." Just the kind of Makoerexpect is such a. Just the kind of Makoerexpect is such a. What? Hunter? What the fuck is wrong with your brain? My god. Just the kind of Makoerexpect of such as those. Go upstairs, you'll find a powder on the table where the object was. Don't touch it. Just put it on one of my mason jars. Just put it in one of my mason jars. Just put it one. I feel like there's typos. Just put it in one of my mason jars, then in half a cup of milk. Wait. Okay. Hunter, I need. I need my fentanyl. My god. Go upstairs. You'll find powder on the table where the object was. Don't touch it. Then add half a cup of milk. Okay, baby? Okay. I never really like the baby comment. What is. This is a witch, alright? By object, you mean panties, I asked. Her reply. Boy. She was dead. She was dead sister. Off I went again to follow her instructions. I gotta say I'm to stick with her just in case. I didn't understand what was going on by trusted anthia completely. Well, when I went into the room, there was a dead snake where the panties had been. It was surrounded with red powder. I used an old envelope to scrape the powder into a mason jar. When I added milk to it, it was bubbled and turned to blood, where it looked like blood. They made a mistake, anthia said when we saw it. Sam and I were anxious to do something. We couldn't contain ourselves. But anthia insisted we had to be patient. Impulse got us into this and ain't gonna get us out, she said. The jar had to wait. The jar had to sit for a week. So we had to go by regular lives. Plus we had math homework to do. And she said, we better do it, the seven days. We halted all finder meetings at anthia's request using that time to do homework instead. She especially wanted us to do our math work. Math clears the mind, she said. The first day of that week, I heard a strange noise outside my window, a sickening, warbling sound. I rented the window thinking something was out there dying. What I saw was a box, just sitting in the backyard. A wardrobe sized rectangle. Its door was open. I couldn't see anything inside. Was the blackest black. I went downstairs to the din window for a closer look. Anthia and Sam were already there. Already starting, huh? She said. "I don't like that thing." Sam said. "It's just a box," I said, adding Sam on the shoulder. But I knew better. I knew the moment I saw it, just by feel. It was the box. The box anthia told us about. The box that bitch told me he kept her in. The box that Capri's side, the box! The box that Capri's son guys wanted. If only. Anthia said. Damn thing got bigger since I last saw it. Listen here, boys. They don't like what we're up to, and they're about to do everything in their power to stop it. And with that box, they got a lot of power. It's going to be the longest seven days since the Lord created all things. "What do we do?" I asked. "Do your math." We thought she was kidding, but she shut that down. "You're going to do your math homework?" "You're not going to get a head while you're at it." "You're going to get a head while you're at it." So hit the books. Before dinner, when I couldn't take any more equations, I came down for a walk around. Smell what was cooking. Sam was standing in the den after staring at the window. "What are you doing?" I asked. Watching it. He said. "You get starker sometimes. Not possible." It is something in there is darker yet, and when it moves, you can see. He looked and he was hypnotized staring at the box. The last time we stared too hard at something, it started this whole mess. "Not that off," I said, and closed the curtains. I had to hold him back when he tried to reopen the curtains. I'd never seen him like that. "Stop! If I don't keep watching, something will happen!" He got past me and flung up the curtains open, and when he did, we got a glimpse of some hunched figure in all black tiptoeing out of the sight around the corner. "What was that?" "Steevercle," I said, "but we didn't laugh." We told Aunt Thea what we saw. He said, or she said, "Mm-hmm, go do your math." So I did algebra two, and sanded trigonometry. Boy, wait for something to happen. The only thing that happened was dinner. It took me a long time to fall asleep that night. I kept wondering what was coming next. I was always when Miss Booba would get up to something. Sure enough, as soon as I knotted off, I heard a whisper. "JP, Sam?" I turned on the lamp. A frog was on the floor by my bed. It opens its mouth, and I heard, "JP?" I jumped on the bed and covered my feet. The frog stared at me with its cold eyes. "JP, it's your dad." Could being a pussy and help me out of the box? I can speak to you through this frog. "You have to hurry." "How do I know you're my dad?" I asked. "Remember, it whispered, "I remember the time I took you fishing out on the lake." I felt the tear starting to form my eyes. "You always wanted to go fishing, and I even let you make your own fly. You were supposed to catch trout, and we kept catching frogs after frog." "That's why you used a frog?" "So you'd know." I remembered that day. That day you were thinking. "I did Godwomen to death. I did Godwomen to have so many frogs." It was so you'd be ready for this day. Frog day. Or in the jar, blood to the box, and get me out. None of that had ever happened. Only the lake had been right. A lucky guess, so I picked up my shoe to kill the damn thing. "Stop!" I'm in here at the frog and my little babies. It was her voice, still whispering, but I could tell it was her. It was like she was in the room with me. I guess she was. Just in a frog. "Put your babies in me, remember?" "You got me pregnant, JB, and you filled me up. Did you kill your babies? Your grandpa likes them. They like to move. He moves with them. We're always moving around, moving, moving, moving, little baby bugs." Oh my God. Good fucking Lord. I knew the frog leaped out the window. I know I had never opened that window. When I went to shut it, I saw a face staring up at me from the box. It wasn't the woman or the old man. Something else. I felt dizzy and sick when I saw it. It vanished almost right away. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep, so I went downstairs and Aunt Thea had a slice of pie ready for me in my math book. I fell asleep on the couch when the algebra book on my- with the algebra book- with? Oh. I fell back. I fell asleep on the couch with the algebra book on my- algebra book on my lap. Fuck sakes. I woke up to see Sam searing out the window again. "Stop looking at it," I told him, who's pissing me off now. "I couldn't sleep," he said, without turning around. Aunt Thea's dogs kept licking my feet all night. "Ugh." But that's right. She don't got a dog. The god- the god damn licking of the dog. Good lord. It is just like my aunt in San Diego. It is so gross. It's so nasty. God damn it. The day went- the day went much the same as the previous day. Sam stared- Sam stared obsessively. We ate meals, kept the doors locked, and we were forced to study a lot of math. Sam and I camped out in his bedroom that night. We wanted to stick together with no view of the box. J.P. Are you awake? When I was almost asleep, Jesus Sam, I am now the thing's been putting ideas in my head. What? When I look at the box, it puts thoughts- it puts thoughts in me that aren't mine. "You show me what it did to you that night with the titty woman. She put creatures in your body, oh my god, my heart just about skipped a beat. No, Sam, I put something in her after that. She did something to you. In your 40 you'll see. Stop!" Told me it'll turn you into a chair. You'll still be alive, and you'll still be yourself, but nobody will know. Go to see a chair and sit on you or drag you around. You'll be alive and starving and tired, but you can't die. Can you imagine being a chair? If we get in that jar, they'll fix it. It's a lie. "You show me other things." He started saying, "But I put my hands over my mouth. Go to sleep or I swear." That was the night Sam started sleepwalking. Aunt Thea caught him about, Aunt Thea caught him about to open the back door, so day three, so day three the plan is Aunt Thea locks us in the room, but I wasn't going to wait for night three. I asked Aunt Thea, "What happens if we just stop all of this? Give them the jar and tell them to fuck off. Maybe they're never going to leave you alone." She said, "Maybe for now, but not forever, and you'll never get your dad back." I just thought, "Would dad want me to risk Sam's life for this?" My dad never. He slapped my ears or even asked, "I trusted Aunt Thea, I did, but she didn't know everything. I already learned all of algebra too, I told her when she wanted me to do more math. That's it. I hit the limit." "Funny you mentioned limits," she replied, "because I'd like to introduce you to the differential calculus." In the den, you'll find a textbook from when I was in college, from when I was a college girl. It's still good. Calculus don't change. I went to Sam at the window where he was staring, tears were running down his face and his eyes were full of blood. His lips were moving rapidly. I could hear him saying some of the ideas they were putting in his mind. I made it my mind right then. I'm sorry, I told him in kisses forehead and he didn't move. So while Aunt Thea thought I was doing calculus, and while Mom stayed in the room reading her kindle all day, and while Sam got his ideas put in his head, I pulled out the business card, I'd saved and called the department of energy. And within an hour, a U-Haul painted black, pulled into Aunt Thea's driveway, a bunch of white men and dark grey suits jumped out the back. "What'd you do?" Aunt Thea asked me. The men stood in a circle around the box, each holding up a smartphone looking thing, and they walked in a circle around the box, heard that weird sound again. The sickening warble, then the men took the box back to the U-Haul. While they were doing that, the jar of blood exploded and the blood inside burned a hole in Aunt Thea's kitchen table. "We could have made it!" she said. "Never see that box again now." "Sam wasn't doing his math," I told her. We left her that. Sam hasn't spoken to me since, he understands what I did, and he resents me for it. So that's the story of how I grew up. How I became a man took responsibility and made everyone hate me. I thought about killing myself a few times since then. Of all people, of all people, the one who kept me from ending it was mom. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Dad would be so proud of you." Then she added, "Too bad we're in that box." "Not a day goes by, but I don't think of that." "Oh God." Crashing out by yourself is such a different experience. I feel like around the halfway mark, I was feeling the fatigue, like the humor was hitting me. And then it just seemed like it's one of those things, it's the classic creepypasta conundrum where it's like an interesting idea or a spooky hook that goes absolutely fucking nowhere. And now it's just this like a slog of an ending. And then you can obviously tell that people, they had no idea what the fuck to do. So they're just like, "And it's done. I don't know." And they're in the box. That's it. Bye-bye. But I will say halfway, I think for about an hour and 15 minutes, I have been in full blown panic attack mode reading this. I kind of like the idea at first where it was like, "Oh, they're using the humor of a kid wanting a fucking teenage boy in high school wanting sex, whatever from a hot woman that lives next door." And they use that as a hook to propel you into a fun story. But God, it just like, it just never fucking ended, man. It just never, it never ended. But just crescendoed. I was just, you know, and the thing too is I could sit there and be an nitpick, the entire thing and be in the spot where it's like, well, you know, you could just sit there and make this a four hour long recording, just complaining the whole time. But I don't know, I just was powering through to see if there was anything. It's weird too though. There were so many moments where it was like a fun hook or a fun jab, you know what I mean? So many like little moments, the dog looking feet, all boy getting grandbussy, you know? All that stuff. A lot of little things. I didn't understand that there was just a lot of stuff where I'm like, what the fuck is this supposed to mean? Like the whole idea of the, the whole idea of like the snake doesn't really go anywhere. The mom felt, the mom felt useless unless the mom had always been just a part of the do-do ritual experience, like the bus didn't make sense. Also the energy people, I thought that was just, I guess it is supposed to be the dude. It's supposed to, it's supposed to be the whole thing. old man I'm pretty sure and then he was able to get out of there while they were doing the spell or something but this whole idea of like, she's listening to Michael Jackson for like a day and a half, it's just all really, I just like, what the fuck was, I don't know. I feel lost. I'm very curious to see what the general audience thinks but I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And the Capri Sun thing, like those little details where it's like, I can't tell if like these little details were like, it's taking elements of your memories or your experience and trying to, it's like, fabricating people and ideas just off of like things that it's monitored you but like, I don't know, I don't know. Also the dementia dude, it's just, it seems like is every person this, is every person this child is interacting with is just this entity, this Tommy Taffy-esque entity. I don't know. I feel like the beginning, I got, at the beginning, I was kind of bought in on how silly and fun it was and then it just kind of kept getting, and to say that I got weird as a bad thing, I don't think that's the bad thing. It just like, it just got nonsensical to the point where, I don't know, it feels like a kid wrote it or whatever, I don't know. I don't fucking know. This is usually the part where Isaiah will say nice things and then I get to kind of like, you know, be, I get put into a spot where I'm like, oh, I guess that's true. You know, oh, I guess that's a fair point or something like that. But now you just have fucking negative Nancy and I'm like, what the fuck was that dude? I mean, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. At least we got to have my mom talk about what you do if boys are trying to look at her titties. That was, that was kind of fun. At least we got that. That's not, it's not horrible, but you know what? It's a story. You know, we had some nice fun laughs out of it. There were some fun spooky moments, but, you know, it just falls into the very classic, it falls into the classic category of, I have a fun idea and I have no way to execute this idea. So I'm just going to throw a bunch of random shit at the end and it'll be wrapped up quickly because I'm bored. I just don't want to do it anymore. So there it is. Thank you guys for hanging out and jamming with me so long. I know this is kind of a longer recording today, but this will be the one that's up on the, on the YouTube channel, but I just figured I would stream it here just so I could have somebody talk to you with it or, you know, have something. So thank you so much to my beautiful Patreon chat for keeping me company here. And then also thank you to all the people who are on Spotify and Apple podcasts and all that jazz and give us a nice rating. It really does help us out and I appreciate it. Until next time guys, hopefully Isaiah will be joining us again, like I said, we need the dynamic duo. Until then, stay creeped. Bye bye. You thought it was the dog licking your feet, but it was me.