Somebody Got Some Secrets

[MUSIC] I think you know it. [MUSIC] I just remember I did not turn off the lyrics. >> [LAUGH] >> I was like wait a minute, she's going to be singing with us. >> Do we need to restart? >> No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just going to do this real quick. So that we can just get right on into it. Can we? >> We're already 40 seconds in. >> That's okay, we've had longer intros. How do you do this? How do you turn it off? Oh, you can't for this one. Because I know that he knows my fate. [LAUGH] >> And it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy. [MUSIC] >> I remember it was controversial where she's like, I love, is trust, I might as well take. >> They didn't play that part of the radio sometimes. >> Put it to his head, get it over with. >> That was my sister's song, and you know what was also my, let me see if they have, you're already connected. I don't know if it's going to be, I know it's on here, but I don't know if there is a karaoke version. If you got time before the lyrics start, you can look. [MUSIC] >> There is not. >> Don't in between the baby. >> Baby, because I really want to say she wore that motherfucker out. She was like 17, 17, 18, listening to that song. Like somebody had torn her apart. And I was just like, girl, what are you going through? >> I can hear her in my, I can hear her in the room now. >> You got me so torn. >> Yeah. >> I really want to be with you. >> That's something's telling me. >> But I should leave. >> Don't know. >> You should have still. >> I should have. >> Anyway, hey, girlfriends. >> Hey, girlfriends. >> We're three minutes in. We just been sitting here and bullshitting. >> That's okay. >> Yeah, so we skipped last week. One of us was not feeling well with me and public about it. And I, you said, absolutely not, do not call over here. >> Do not, do not enter my abode. I will slap you. So, you know, we skipped a week. >> I feel it better. My coffee is still there, but not nearly as much as where it was. >> Good. >> You know, everybody getting the van again. And it's funny because I traced it back to a friend that had come over and, no, just a friend. For now, we're kind of, we haven't been, don't look at me like that. We have not, neither of us has made any moves, has done anything outside of just being cool with each other. I'm open to it, but I'm not like pressing it if that makes sense. Anyways, so he had come over for a little bit. And all we did was just sit on back, chill and talk in for a couple of hours, and then he went about his day. Shortly after, I got sick, my roommate got sick, the guy that came over got sick. And I said, you did this to me. He was like, probably because he had just worked at some of that. He's a translator, and he had to work some of that in like downtown or whatever for three days. And it was around a lot of people. So, we just said it was him. Anyways, my coffee is better. It's not Sunday. It was like, I woke up. I was coughing all the time. Like, cough was really, really wet. Oh, I knew you were going to say it. I was, oh, I didn't, I don't. A wet cough just sounds gross. What do you know what I mean, right? Like, I know what you mean. But like, yeah, actually, never mind. Never mind. So yeah, I had a wet cough. And yeah, so we're good now. I can talk. I don't sound like, you know, horse. Yeah, we're back. Hope everyone has had a good April. I don't know if it's your today or my not today. I'm going to say you. You are a hater. Your feet stink. You have plenty to chew styles. Yeah, bitch. I like to be prepared. I could pick one. I don't care. No, wait, no, no, it's your turn. How do you know that? Are you videotaping me? Because I think my last one was me venting about a wine wrap. God. Okay. So it is your turn. Fine, whatever. Okay. Mine is a hypothetical. This has absolutely nothing actually. This kind of has to do with the topic actually. Okay, so you can answer this too, AJ. This is completely hypothetical. What would y'all do? You're with someone for X amount of years. And you find out they treated. But only after they've passed away. Can you be mad? Are you going to curse them in their grave? How do you handle that situation? I mean, are you going to be like, well, I mean, I was happy. I didn't know about it or you're just like, fuck you. I mean, I can be mad about it, but what am I going to do? Yeah, I can't cast them out. I feel like it's one of those things of videos where they're like, you come to their funeral and it's like, you, I would find out when you're dead. You lucky I can't do nothing about it now. You just slap the dead body, just make sure nobody looks. I'll be able to stay behind guys. We just need to, I mean, I just want to. We need to have a moment. Can I put just a moment by myself? One last word. You dumb ass bitch. I hope you feel down. I don't know. I think I would just have to be like, wow, you really ain't shit. And then just go about my day because what the fuck else am I going to do? I can't really be. I feel like to justify for me to feel better about being angry, I would need to like, I need you to hear me cut your ass out and hear how I feel. And I'm not going to get that. So it would be the point. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it would, that moment of grieving you to being angry with you would be interesting. Oh, immediate, immediate flip. I know what could tell the difference of Rob Cry because I'm angry right now, but I just look so sad. I, I always wonder what it's like when someone dies, right? Usually, typically and always a man, I feel like it's really hard for a woman to pull this off. It's usually men where they die. And then all of a sudden, there's a second family, sometimes a third. And this man has been going to all of their life events. They've been spending all of this time together. And he's been living a double life for years and nobody knew. Oh, yeah, there's always a thing where like, there's a woman who's crying a little too hard. I just like, who is this woman? There was, I don't, I don't remember the storyline. I don't even remember where I got this information from. I just remember reading a thing where like, not only did, not only did this lady's father have an extra family, like he had grandchildren and everything, like an entire generation's hidden. Girl, and 21 and 23 of me, 23 of me is getting everybody called. Because you've been the only child your whole life now, all of a sudden, possible sibling. Hey, fuck do you mean I, I feel like I could have a sibling out there somewhere, I feel like it's possible. I'm sure I have. I'm sure you do. Not siblings, but cousins, I know for sure. I found out I had a cousin in my early 20s, I think from an uncle who had been passed away. And there was a whole story. And that's another thing that I don't know how I feel about when family doesn't tell you stuff until you're older. I can understand why, you know, they don't want to tell you stuff as a child. Like a teenager is an appropriate age, but why am I finding out in my 20s? I have a whole teenage, I'm sorry, I have a whole cousin because y'all wanted to, what's that word, shun her mother and try to keep everything hush hush. And but I was like, my family is trash. A lot of families are, a lot of families are. The older you get, the more you realize, everyone is human, right? People make mistakes, and that is okay. But sometimes it is like, what the fuck is wrong? Wrong with all of y'all like who made the decision that's shun in this girl But this baby ain't do nothing This baby did nothing, but be born She didn't ask for this shit now all of a sudden you exile in this baby Over some bullshit that ain't got nothing to do with her like Y'all hate kids like I I have come to realize a lot of people hate children That children because what other reason do you have to do some bullshit like this? Yeah, that or Trigger warning finding out Family members were assaulted about other family members And that's just something that is it's it's public knowledge But it's hush-hush nobody talks about it and then when you find out Be looking at these people differently because it's like how can y'all Just act like everything is normal and and buy assault you don't mean essay, right? Yeah Yes, you do mean essay Okay, well, we're just gonna move on fast I would yeah I don't know I don't know where we could have taken that I'm just I'm just cut to the cut to the commercial debt is Well, they could go to the topic, honestly, but anyways, I think so that's a secret So we're gonna be talking about secrets But anyways, we do episodes every Thursday Last week was a good example of if we know it wasn't if we skip I post there like maybe it was I was like hey, I'm not feeling good. We're not gonna record you posted And I was like, but I always say if we ever don't put out that it's a good opportunity for y'all if y'all missed any previous episodes Like catch up listen all that stuff. So I hope y'all did that What else what else? Oh, yeah, Instagram. Hey Krofen podcast if y'all see we're kind of getting back into posting little clips and stuff And then hopefully just kind of be more active in everything Some moves. It's it's falling on out. Yeah, it's busted. I like some Anyways, I'm glad you caught you Reach out to us there Would love to have more guests actually I'm gonna see if one of my friends would like to come on next week Maybe question. This is so out of the blue. You know what? Go ahead Hit us out with the DMs if you want to be on the show if you have a topic idea if there's anything about an episode that you like didn't like Whatever just want to shoot the shit anything love chocolate y'all Wherever you listen apple Spotify forever, please be sure that you're already like follow and subscribe to whatever Leave us a rating or review if you don't mind Tag us share it with your friends family whoever posted on your socials. Please. Thank you and I think that's it. So yeah, we're gonna go to commercial gonna come back and I can't relate Let me not let me not speak like you're lying. I was like let me not speak too soon. Let me not speak too soon Oh, you can't relate to oh you can't relate to lying I don't know about the episode. I was like I can't relate to keeping secrets from a partner, but that's not true I caught myself a backtrack. Mm-hmm. Anyways, we're gonna be honest. Linus niggum. We're gonna be honest And we're gonna lies truthful and open as the whole kind of this episode. Mm-hmm emphasis on Truthful that I was gonna say open didn't you Are you gonna be open like some huh? Well the commercial's almost over We will be right back y'all Hey Co friends, I'm Tane and I'm Charlie and we're the host of the hey co friends podcast for those who are new and want to know what it is that we talk about We just talking whether it's talking about working on Communication skills working through past trauma or simply playing a game of song association We put those episodes out every Thursday and more recently we've started recording Instagram live episodes every Sunday at 2 p.m. Central. We really appreciate the love and support you've gotten over the years And we just wanted to share a new way you guys can support us You can now choose to pay a monthly subscription of 99 cents for 99 or 99 Which will allow us to do more things for y'all whether it's a giveaway Recording new episodes via video or opening a merch store If you can't financially support which I understand you can always simply share a podcast on social media or through word of mouth Or you know hidden play and let that thing play on mute in the background while you're working because out of the way a stream of the stream But for real though, we appreciate the support from y'all and wanted to continue to grow and do more Please be sure to check out hey co friends wherever you listen to podcasts and remember stay moisturized Okay, I feel lawless today. I feel absolutely lawless Lucy lawless Don't ever call me loose in your life. Lucy lawless. I don't know who that is, but I keep playing Zina. I keep it right in tight. You play Zina On Disney Zina the Princess Warrior Old old old TV show. I think I think of a Zina or what Oh, damn, what was the song damn what was the song that you never watch Zina and I do I wasn't a digital person We've talked about this. Please leave me alone Damn, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna know peace until you go ahead. Yeah, I'm gonna lays So this is for all of my actually everyone anyone who has been in a relationship. There's currently in a relationship. This is for you It's just not what I asked for the today's topic Okay, I'm good now Is that like that boy group or something. There's a boy. No, you're talking about Boys in motion boys. We are the boys in motion. We give you our devotion I don't know why I remember that Is it okay to keep seekers from your partner or print these partners? So one of the things it's having a bank account that they don't know about No mama don't eat that it's a dry She hungry, but she hasn't been moving. That's why I didn't feed her today Having a bank account that they don't know about I was like well I've never put that down as an example. I've never been with someone where Like even though they were long term we never thought about having a joint bank account We always had our own separate accounts and then you know, I'll spend the money. I might send you money some meat But that was it my ex and I had our separate accounts and then What we originally were doing before we just both started paying bills separately Was that we had a joint PayPal And then like we will put money into the PayPal and then that card was used was like put down for like our bills So like that's that's what we did But that lasted maybe a year before we were just like this is a lot of work. We're just gonna I want to put my shit down on auto pay for these you put yours shit down on auto pay for those and just request my half when The transaction comes out because this is having to remember and the transferring the right amounts and doing the math Too much fucking work. I don't want to do math no more. You know, have you seen the family that praise? um My son Is a cart right Yeah, she deserved to get I'm sorry not listen to my lathe that's character baby She Acted her as she got slapped. I said, you know, I don't condone violence against women, but The way she kept talking Slapper again beat her monkey ass beat that ass bitch Well, get your sister to somebody got to mark her. I'm sorry. Is that tried your piece? I don't want to her sister I think mm-hmm. He's left her like the cafe or something right across the counter she She did a uh the Backslip over that motherfucker because he had a vasectomy or something so they couldn't have kids or something like that No, she just found out he just she told him that that's not your son. Okay, so if you were the husband not that to that extent but You find out, you know, your partner, you know the job the the job that your partner has and how much they supposedly make or take home a Year But you're you're way of living is a little bit above What I'm listening. I have a point when you're done the way that you're living is a little bit above that at least with what you guys make together And every time you try to ask like about much or big counter. They kind of get a little dodgy about it. Are you going to poke around? They're just going to be like, well, I mean, we're living comfortably. I'm going to investigate. That's what I feel like as one should because I remember he goes to the bank so we'll draw some money and then the tell us like, oh, yeah, she has you have a balance of $200,000 and he said, excuse me, you talk about that's my money. This is an hour account. What the fuck are you talking about? Are you stupid? Are you stupid? Did you not think, do you know how easy, especially nowadays? Do you know how easy it is to log into an account and see a balance? Boom. Like it takes you 15 seconds. You weren't even trying to hide this shit. You could have had it. You could have had this money put into a private account, but no, you had this money put into a joint account. But honestly, I don't like to victim blame. I really don't. I want to make it very clear that I am not victim blaming here. He was dumb as fuck that entire movie. It was like, how oblivious are you? Do you know that the sun is out? What color is the sky? Is it fucking yellow? Like, is it purple? Is it orange? Is it green? Something has to like, do you make a clear shouldn't like him? I don't know why she was with him, but I don't either. At that point, leave me for that white man and go enjoy your life. Oh, that's right. You can't because he's married and he won't leave his wife for you. I love when the wife catches her at the hotel. He didn't leave me, girl. And you know that? That's why you clock in to this hotel every Sunday at 3 p.m. Just asking for a piece of what I have, bitch. But yeah, I don't know. I could never have. I feel like money isn't something that I am dumb with money. I'm aware of this. I don't think that I could hide that I don't have money. There's an episode I want to do. Actually, you know what? I'm already down now that I'm talking about it. Have you seen those videos where it's like videos memes, tweets, whatever. But it's like, if I had money, I wouldn't say anything, but there would be signs. I want to do an episode like that because I feel like I would just be doing dumb shit for people for no reason. Okay, question then. You're with somebody, like some out of time. You guys have your own separate accounts or whatever. Guys, live together. We'll say, should you ask for permission to make a big purchase with your money? What does that have to do with my partner? I don't know. It's my money. And I need it now. I do what the fuck I want. I'm up that mindset, but I can understand what people would get upset about like why? I'm trying to think of examples that people might use. I don't know. And none of that will make sense. Our our bills paid. Our we caught up. And is this the you trust that I am smart enough to make purchases that I can afford that won't affect our bills negatively? So then what the fuck does this have to do with us? Where do you mad at? Did you clock in to my job? Did you did you put in in the work for my paycheck? I do what the fuck I want with my money. And if you have are if you're feeling away about it, you can go smoke cock somewhere else. I don't give a fuck what you do. But you ain't gonna tell me what to do with my money. If it's something with the house, should that be talked about? What do you mean? Like if we live somewhere and you want to, I don't know, get a TV or do some furniture. I mean like I would like to be a part of the process or at least be aware. Like yeah because I mean it's like I would only be upset for example if I didn't like if I didn't like the color nothing major but it's like I would have like to have some say on this couch before you got it. I don't particularly like it. Or the style. It's not very comfortable. Like it's not hard to see it every day. Yeah. Like it's in a common space. Like we entertain in here and I have to look at that ugly piece of shit every fucking day. That's where I would be like it is your money. Your money. Yes. Our house though. But I think that we should make decisions on what happens with this house that we cohabitate in together. But if I got nothing to do with the both of us, what the fuck do you go fuck about what I do? I know a car can sometimes be a problem for people. I've seen a car. Yeah. Am I paying the note? Like it might be in one person's name and like say if the partner is like hey can he use the car and the person says no that becomes a problem. It shouldn't be it's my car. Literally when my ex started driving my car more like frequently. We decided you're going to be added to my insurance. That's number one. Number two. You're going to be paying for half of this insurance. If my insurance is about to shoot up because I have to add you as a driver just in case like you don't need to pay my car note. I'm not asking you to pay my car note. That's not really what's important. I will pay my note. But as far as the insurance is concerned so that I am less worried about something happening and me being held responsible for the damages you need to be on my insurance. I'm totally okay with the use of my car because you don't use it often but if we I'm not about to pay the cost for everything. A simple $30 a month from you is not that big of an ask for you to be able to freely use my car whenever you need to. There you go. An adult conversation. I don't, you know well I am an avoidant person. I can't say that I'm not. I have always been avoidant. I'm actively working on not being avoidant anymore like there are always going to be things which is why this topic is a little triggering because sometimes it's not that I'm trying to keep secrets. I sometimes, most of the time, I have problems dealing with people's emotions and responses is like I would rather not say anything than to say something and now I have to deal with all of that. I want to avoid all of this as long as humanly possible. Have you ever got in trouble or do you see how I think I got in trouble before where I did something, made a decision, a purchase, something and my ex made the argument of I didn't take them into consideration. What'd you buy? Was it cracked? What was it? Did you buy a sex doll? Did you pay to have an innocent baby slaughtered? No. So what the fuck did they give us? I remember it was a game system. To me, it wasn't that expensive and I wanted it. I'm impulsive which that has not always worked to my favorite. I feel that. I feel that. So I may be that was part of the reason. It's just I just got it. It's been $300. I don't know where. That was when you got the weed. And we were, is it crazy that I remember this or living situation? Wasn't the greatest, but we were okay. You had shelter. Yeah. We were paying rent and we really couldn't afford much else, but we had the place. And it wasn't an argument. It was just a conversation where they were kind of like disappointed in me or whatever. And I didn't take into account them. And in my, I wanted to say, yes, but not what about them wasn't taken into account. I mean, I truly like, they felt that I need to explain this to me like I'm five. They felt that I should have saved that money and put it for like groceries or like stuff that would. Did you still have money? Could you not afford groceries because of that purchase? Yeah. So you could afford groceries. I did. I have to pay whatever, but it was still the fact that it was still a quote bigger purchase. I'm sorry. I would have told that nigga to eat my ass for the side of ranch. What the fuck do you mean? I don't see money. Money is really where people get the gain fucked up. And to kind of go back to it was like, yes, I wasn't thinking about you, but not in like that way. I went on to sing and I didn't do it to you. I was like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I didn't know how to respond to you to foolishness. I was like, I don't, you didn't know how to respond to dumbassery. That's what you didn't know how to respond to because what the fuck to have to do with them? I was like, what do you mean about you? I was like, this doesn't really, this doesn't concern you. So no, you didn't factor into my decision making. I went from being like, look what I got to, world, I feel stupid. The next one that you put is addictions as someone who has dealt with addiction before. Why did you retract like that? I didn't do what. had a porn addiction. Is this news to you? It is not. I was like, it's the way I've talked about it. We'll discuss this off here. You said addiction. Because I was like alcohol, like I'm thinking like something like drug. You made, see, here's the thing, we never really discussed it. Like it was never really a huge topic of conversation. I remember, I guess we don't have to talk about it off air. It's really not that big of a deal. I remember I want to say around the time we first started recording the podcast. I remember we were sitting at the table in my room. You asked me to set a password in your phone. I remember I used to do that all the time. Yes, you asked me to set a password in your phone. For that specific reason, I think you mentioned what it was for. And then last year, I want to say when we recorded the episode with Dylan, while we were there, I don't know if this was during the episode or like during a break or like before we started talking or maybe even after. I don't know, but I remember you making a comment about how you don't like porn. And I remember because you, something about like, you don't like the idea of busting after somebody that you don't know or something like that. And I remember being like, I feel like this nigga liked porn a lot. And so I was just a hell of confused for a second. So we're good. We're on the same page. I did not make this up. It is a part of your lore. And we're good. Yeah. So I'm okay now. This is something that I was dealing with from probably like, I know it was a problem, probably like 18. And then the fact that you remember that from what five years ago, now it's a four, four, five years ago now, five, yeah, it was still an issue. It may have actually been 2019. It may have been before, because remember we were recording before we put an episode out in 2020. So we started recording. I can't believe you forgot I would have you put a password. You only have me do a once. That's how bad it was for me. Like I needed somebody else to block my access to otherwise, I was just like, but anyways, I think I'm pretty sure I told my ex about it. Yeah, because you said that at one point, they were the ones setting your passwords, probably. Yeah. And I tried to have a thing of like, I didn't want them to watch it to kind of be like, and saw the deity with me. So sorry about that. I don't realize I'm still connected. I literally was like, what in the fuck is that? And why is it playing the ringtone, the ringtone through Bluetooth? That wouldn't that start being a thing. Anyways, um, who, who calling us though? Who is that? What are my friends who I would like to get on the show? He hasn't been on it yet. Oh, it's a girl. Okay, I remember. But uh, yeah, so to kind of go back with like, addictions and stuff, I think you should absolutely share if you're struggling with something. Yeah, I, or I think the reason that I put it, um, we're not together anymore, it doesn't matter. Um, my ex had a addiction in their family. Mother suffered from addiction. They had also briefly suffered from addiction. I don't really remember what kind. Um, I don't think that it was, I don't think that it was really addiction. I want to say that it was, they just had like an addictive personality. Um, but I definitely feel like addiction is something that you should be very up for and announced about because that's a big one to try and hide. I don't know, I don't know how you would be able to get away with hiding it to me. Completely honest, like I don't, and this almost goes back to the money part because if you're putting, I don't care if it's even just your money, but if it's, I see that you're spending, or money is just kind of going into places or whatever. And then whether it's gambling, drugs, whatever, I absolutely need to know because next thing I know, it could start with your money, then you're going to be asking me for money. Then stuff around the house, she started asking me for money, we've, we have, you've lost the plot. Stuff in the house that start getting sold for some reason. And I'm like, hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let something in my house disappear. Let me go down to the local thrift store and see something that I purchased on a shelf. Bitch. Yeah. And we boxing right then and there. Why is my grandma's face in here? I can understand not wanting to because of shame and embarrassment or whatever, but I would like to think that you would trust and love your partner partners enough to know that they would like support you and everything. And if they don't, maybe y'all don't need to be together. Exactly. But you know what would be even more embarrassing? Me beating your ass in front of everybody because how fucking dare you? Because I would hate to have to find out through another party. I would hate to have to find out if I see you on the street. I would hate for you to know that I found out through another party because at that point, it is on and popping when I see you because I'm going to say nothing. I'm going to say nothing. You're going to come home. The house is going to be spotless. Dinner on the table candles lit mood set. And before you cut that steak, slide my phone across the table. You want to explain this to me? Quickly. That's a situation. Please think before you speak. As I already know, before you lie, I have not been in a situation like that where I go to someone with the evidence already prepared. I know the truth and I ask you, please do not lie to me. I already gave you an opportunity and you open your mouth and you lie. I have even in that situation. Read the one that lied? Yeah, I was. And I don't understand because you know that they know the truth. I do. But do you think it's just going to sound good when you say it or something? No. Why do you just don't want to be for me again? It's avoidance. If I say the truth, you're going to be even more hurt. And I don't want to deal with it. Oh, if I already know the truth though. Yeah, but you're not hearing the truth out of my mouth. Oh, but lying's going to make it better. Lying is going to piss me off. Lying is going to hopefully make the makeup a little bit. Oh, no, you're the leg. Maybe maybe we can carve this. Let's see if we can fix this situation real quick. Oh, look a bird. I don't know anything, girl. Anything. But no, I don't, I don't know. I don't like keeping secrets from people. I feel like it's more work than anything. Yeah. And that goes with the next one of these. Okay. So I'm going to skip over one and come back to it. But there's one that says someone you've been with that is still a part of your life somehow. And I guess like, for example, you're in your current relationship and then you go see someone and you address them as a friend. But y'all used to fun. This is a this is a friend who who's cheeks you have clapped. Yes. And it's true. We are friends. However, maybe at the time, I don't think it's appropriate, especially if they're just meaning to be like we used to sleep together. That's just so awkward. And we could talk about it later. Maybe. But I feel like it's better to get it out in the open. Regret away. I would, I would actually do it before the people were introduced. Like I'm not going to the best option. I'm not, I'm not going to do it with like, oh, so this is my friend Zaden. He's a thoroughfuck me all the time. But like, you know, we're called now like I'm not. I could never do anything like that. But it would definitely be like, hey, so I have a friend. Their name is redact redacted. And we used to fuck, but we don't anymore. Is that something you're comfortable with? Because they're asking to hang out. And I would like, I would like to see them in a non-sexual way. We have hung out in non-sexual ways all of the time. It is not really a big issue if it makes you uncomfortable. comfortable please tell me if not cool great how can we proceed so that everybody in the situation is comfortable because they're not someone that I would like to cut out of my life but I also don't want to get on your nerves so yeah what say you like a fuck buddy type thing yes actual X absolutely you should say that y'all used to date because that's another thing or I would have to hate to find out through the grapevine down the road that y'all dated maybe what if you were previously engaged that's big I just need to know that what are you talking about and now y'all are just friends I believe the y'all could be just friends but there's history there a lot so I would Martin Luther King type history so I just need to know and I talked about it where in my in my my previous relationship will be started you should still be beating that niggas ass over the shit I'm so sorry I'm sorry anyone I'm so sorry but does he know I think that is where I would have charged exited I would have put my little finger up and what excuse me I'm just I'm I'm gonna leave delete my number actually does it matter you're blocked have a great life not what I left so immediately I've told this story before but if you don't know this long story short with my ex and I first started dating they were only half honest and they were like so I still live with my ex and I was like understand that's fine no worries whatever and they had invited me over one day see this is how I know the weird two different kind of bitches I never would have went and I was like are you sure because your ex the lives there I don't want to step on any toes I don't want to no one to be comfortable in the their response was I live there too I don't care seeing that's something a nigger that's what that is that was them being a full blown ass nigger no you could did you live with the roommate huh did you live with the roommate at the time yes I was at my father's you know yeah I was like I didn't get on I see why you went with the option that you did carry on to go carry on friend so I was I had a lot of judgment up until that up until now I see why you did what you did you have to go something had to go somewhere couldn't have been home so I said okay absolutely so it was my ex their ex at the time and a friend three of them cool they all live together yeah it was like a three a three bedroom I thought it was just a two okay okay okay so I went and we just go straight to the room hmm even worse I think I don't know if the X is there at the time or not or whatever everything's cool we're playing the game blah blah blah blah all of a sudden an argument happens between my X and their X and I'm just on my phone I know that they had problems but whatever and then like AJ said the X is like does he know that we're still married and I said oh oh so then that sets my X off and the arguments over X is apologizing at the time I'm just trying to calm them down and then I leave and they were like text me like oh my god I'm so sorry how about that blah blah blah bless you and I said I'm not even mad at them for saying that bless you thank you because that should have come out of your mouth a while ago when we met and I was extra before you brought me in this fucking house you're still married I would have absolutely understood because I know divorce takes expensive money but you just about was an X that's more than just that's more than just an X like you you do understand that I am dating with intention and I intend on eventually getting married and having children and I think that um you going through a divorce is is going to be a very big part of your lore for a couple of years I'm sure depending on the situation um so how long did you think you were going to hide this for me I would love to know I would love to know yeah and I was excellent too because when we had started dating I had a ring from a different X and I was open honest this is where I got them from but it doesn't there's no like sentiment value I just like it and it's like a it was a promise ring basically and they said that they were not comfortable with that and they prefer I got rid of it so I gave it to my sister I said I understand so I said I was honest and you were all bent out of shape because of this ring come to find out you have a whole whole legal document in marriage to another nigga I have a question though yes was the execute um I don't think so we never really spoke at the time the whole time that me and my expert together there X and them because they were still friends or whatever we never really spoke to each other um and we were like in the same room multiple times and we never spoke to each other interesting yeah I had made it we I'm sure that they didn't like me because of or how we started and I just didn't like them uh just from everything that my ex had told me about them I was like this is trash person I don't know why I used to talk to want to be friends with them but whatever teach down I said if y'all are friends then if you like it I love it I guess yeah and I said just don't bring it around yeah but anyways so yes absolutely if you get involved with somebody please please because what if you have kids with this person what if y'all were married now you no longer what if if there's still some sort of tie like that that absolute needs to be no kids that's a whole different story you got a whole baby mama baby father oh you need to have that shit on your mother fucking profile I need to know from jump street that you got a nigga with a baby because that and how how old is this baby if the child is three or younger I'm gonna need you to go on hand and enjoy your life bro absolutely not that's too young that is too soon for me to be in the equation y'all still trying to figure shit out you still are trying to figure out childcare like it's not like this thing is in kindergarten first grade even you know what I mean like by kindergarten first grade you're a whole person you know what I mean like you have things you have friends you have homework like there's you have a life where you're at least starting to have some kind of life three or younger you can't even hold your head up good probably still potty training absolutely I think my step that made me to the picture I was maybe nine or ten more than old enough yeah more than old enough and I'm gonna see them today I wanna ask her what was it like when you were interested in my mom and you found that she had two kids already ten to nine blocked I mean he's a little bit twenty years now blocked baby I'm sorry and you have to deal with my father he's crazy which is enough which is enough that is enough forget the kids you got to deal with that man fuck that nigga yeah I don't know if I could ever deal with someone who had kids would have crazy and some other fucking partner yeah I talked I don't know if I talked about it here but I talked about it where I would be okay dating someone who had kids however clearly I don't know if I could do it and they had if the other parent was someone who was like psychotic and like always trying to block me and trying to paint me as the bad guy just making it so difficult for me to not only see this person but why would you why would you complicate the fuck out of your life yeah I said I'm just like they're in the only nigga with kids yeah and that's the situation of I'm not gonna be the one to be like you need to cut this person off because that's that's their parent but do you not see how they're literally trying to not have you the picture at all I'm so sorry good luck to you I don't think I can do this huh is that a new one the key with the heart yeah I got this in February I don't know I've never noticed oh yeah and I got one in a couple weeks but I hope it's your where I do I always say I have a problem this is your I'm glad you got there and this is funny because this is not something that I could hide no this is a proud addiction a problem imagine I wonder if the part if I was dating someone that come home every month with a new tattoo we would you would come home probably with your arm wrapped up to an intervention sign all of us sitting in a half circle but this goes back to my buddy that is totally okay you still have a problem I think that we need to talk. - I'll run out of space soon enough, but until then, I'm gonna keep doing it. - Until you then start erasing shit and redoing stuff over. - Which one did you skip? - Cheating, if you ever cheated on someone. If you cheated in previous relationships, but I think if you just cheated in the current relationship. And. - No, I think you should tell people if you've cheated up before. - That too. But the reason that this goes back to me has it taking earlier, like way beginning, because in my past relationship, I don't know if I've ever said this, I'm just gonna be just, be transparent. - Are you cheating? - Yes. - Yes. - Do they know that? - I got, it's almost slipped up, but I never admitted it. So backstory, backstory, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - I just, I have a couple of questions first, okay? - Maybe only one or two, but I definitely have some questions. - Yes. - Was this on a break? - No. - Okay, go ahead. I feel like that answer is, I think that. - So the reason I did it is because I found out we'd actually done something that's, we went out separately one night. And I found out that they had done something, but I had done something that same night, but theirs was worst in my eye. So I just, - Wait, what did you do? - Kiss him. - I made out with someone, yeah. - They got ahead from someone and I never said anything. - So, here's what happened. We in my family went out and then I got a little drunk and then I saw these people that I had it seen in a while. I talked about this, this is a couple that, it was a straight couple and the guy wanted to make out. - And the girl's been disgusting. - The girl was like, yeah, it's okay. And I was like, okay. So I remember I started to and we're friends like, what are you doing? And I was like, whoa, we're just kissing. So then that happened and I never said anything. And then that's when like a couple of weeks later, I think is when my ex had told me that they were like, hi on drugs and. - Ooh, what kind? - Molly. - Oh, so they were out of their mind. - Yeah. And the next thing you know, somebody was like. - They got a little neck. - Somebody's going down on them. They were so guilty about it and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I remember at the time, I was like, well, this happened the same night that I did that so I can't be mad. However, how to do what you did? So I decided I couldn't get an STI from kissing. So I was like, I decided to not say anything and just guilt trip them. And you're a terrible person. - Yep. - And I never admitted it, terrible. - And I absolutely terrible. - A couple months later, me, my ex and my friend that I was with were out. And my friend had thought that I had told the truth. And I remember my friend had like slipped up about kissing someone or whatever. And I was like, what? And then my friend tried to like backtrack or something like that. And somehow saved it and I didn't get in trouble. And it just made my ex came out the back. 'Cause they were at the back. The back came out the back. It was real, lovey-dovey and stuff on me. And like apologizing again for what they did. And I said, it's okay, I forget. - You ain't shit, you ain't gone shit. So, yes, you should. Even if it's just kissing someone because unless it's established, where it's like, you know, you can kiss other people. If there are boundaries and stuff like that. And if it's never discussed, I think if it's never discussed, then you shouldn't do it anyways. 'Cause you can't be like, well, we never talked about it. What are you talking about? - And yes, I was a trash person for that. I still think what they did was like worse, but I still should have been honest that I also was stepped out of the relationship. - Oh, brother. - But have you cheated before? - Yes. - And you told like, so you cheated one relationship and you got to another one and you told them about your previous cheating. - Yeah, I've told people that I've cheated in the past. - Yeah, I don't wanna say we all have. However, I think you should absolutely admit when you have, and I would feel like my cheating was just a fight though. - Sure. - And, but I also would distance myself from being like that, yes, I did. I can give the whole backstaff anything when it was also a long time ago. I do not condone cheating, yada, yada, yada, yada. - I don't condone cheating. - Just so it's clear, it's just so it's clear I saw what I was, I did that. I was not actively listening. I was thinking in my head, and I realized that I responded. It was not to you, my cheating. It responds to cheating. I don't agree with either. So, I'm not sure how to get your look back, but I personally, I'm trying to think how I'm gonna spend this. I would never cheat again. It is not something that I even really find joy in. Like, I'm gonna be, I'm so sorry. You can tell your ears if you'd like to. Maybe, would you like me to turn your headphones down when I say this? - Is that what you got to say something nasty? - Probably. I mean, you can still hear me, but y'all, he took his headphones out and he is covering his ears. - I haven't said anything yet. - It's okay, you can put your headphones on. It's not really that bad. I was just a horny ass motherfucker and I just wanted to nut. Like, I just wanted to bust a couple shots out and I will say when I cheated, when I physically cheated on my ex, and this was years ago, this wasn't even like one of my most recent exes. This was like, this is the one I did not like you. - Okay. - When I cheated on him, we weren't physically intimate, we weren't even romantic. We were literally just co-existing in the same space and we're kind of co-dependent on one another. - Love was gone. - Long gone. Long gone. We loved each other. We were not in love with each other, if that makes sense. And a friend that I had previously been crushing on, actually like, we met on an app that I found out that he was in a relationship, the name of getting married and his husband was a shit bag. But he texted me and was just like, what are you up to this weekend? I was like, nothing. And basically he said that he was down for the cause and he wanted to get his look back on his husband at the time for cheating on him. I was upon. I just allowed myself to get used now. So I allow myself to get used on several occasions. Of course, but how are you upon? Because I didn't have to sleep with him. - To sleep with the guy that was in a relationship. - The one I was married. - Mm-hmm. - He said, okay. - I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm not, and he knew you were in a relationship. - Mm-hmm. - But when, again, when I say there was like, I was not thinking about my ex at all, 'cause it was just like, you're not sleeping with, like if you're probably sleeping with a baby, I don't know what you're doing on a home because I work two jobs. I am gone more hours a day than I am actually home. I am home to eat and sleep. Literally, there were days I would come home at midnight and I was back out of the house at 6.30 in the morning. I was home to eat shit, shower and sleep. That is it. Was there any guilt or remorse? - A little guilt, but how did it come to light? Did you say anything eventually or something? Did it ever come to light? - I don't know. - Oh. - I truly don't know. But what did come to light was the non-physical cheating, which was just the exchange of explicit photos with others, through Tumblr, good old days, but he hacked into my computer and then hacked into all of my social media sites and went through all of my messages. And I was personally like, I mean, I'm not. to me, it's like porn, like it's like interactive porn. I'm not meeting up with anybody. I have not slept with anybody. I've not touched anybody is simply like, you're cute. Let me see that whole and that's it. That response would send me over there. I just want to see a little hole. What's the problem? And the notch allotless would really hurt my soul. I know I'm not seeing yours. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But you're with me still. We need to break up if that's the case. Or you can give up below balloon knot and we won't have no problems. If you have to go and start taking through somebody's phone, computer, anything, girl just leave. Have to go. Just leave. Because when I tell you, I went through his phone once just to be like, I wonder, like, I wonder what it is that you're doing because there's no way that you're not doing. Leave her alone. Take your ass to bed. Bed. He likes egging her on. Like eating. She's clearly irritated and it's saying leave me alone and you're getting closer and closer. But when she slaps the fuck out of him now of a sudden it's a problem. But yeah, no, I would never, I would never. I'm also just like, I don't know. I feel like I'm in a place to where I value people so much more now, like the amount of energy and stock that I'm putting into people. I don't bed. I am not willing to um, what is the word jeopardize that? Well, yeah, and I actually appreciate value like honesty transparency, Johnny, like honestly transparency right up the gate. Like if we're into each other, but you're still seeing other people, that's fine. I don't care. Actually, thank you so much. Or if you want to take things slow or you, I had someone who on our first date, we ended up deciding we would just be friends, but on our first date, we talked about like, how are we? Did we like to be sexually intimate? What are our life guys? What are our relationship plans? What is the window of, you know, when we're gonna, if you want to start actually dating exclusively, we talked about all this stuff right out the gate. It was so nice that we're fashion and they were kind of worried that it would be like too soon, but I said no, because if I'm saying that I'm dating with intention, I think it's actually important to know right off the gate. Now, I'm not going to sit down with the book and be like, I want to get married by this day. I want to have kids by this day. I want us to be dating by so and so like, no, I think for me. Just like a job, it is fair and reasonable to do like a 90 day, three month period, trial period to see how we do. And it also is case by case because it depends on the. Not only do we need to see how we do. I personally need to see what that mouth do. Oh, my mind went somewhere else of like, let's see how you are with the friends and everything. And we talked about, I was saying, because I was like, is it too soon, like how often can we see each other? I said, well, they kind of depends on our availability, our availability, and our compatibility with each other, because we had seen each other like three times in one week, and he kept apologizing. I said, no, like I enjoy spending time with you. I want to see you. It's okay. And if I'm too busy or if I don't want to, I will let you know. But until then, come over. That's fine. Today may possibly be day six, and that's all I'm going to say. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then again on Sunday. Oh, that's a whole week. I love that for you. But this is a great example. Y'all are both aware, y'all are cool with it. You're moving at my level, I feel like. I am. I don't do this. You're going to have to be like me, too. Don't ever cuss at me like that again. Two months later, we're together. Two months is a very simple time. There we are. That was me. Late November, we met January. Moved in. Not that fast. See, see, see, you give a nigga an inch, and it takes a mile. I said, day, ting, I said two months to date, and be in an exclusive relationship. And you went, yeah, we moved in two weeks, two months later. No girl. That is a completely different fucking topic. People that is not the normal. It ain't. But it shouldn't be in case by case that it worked for me for four years. But I was pretty fast. I will admit. You don't fucking say, but absolutely have those conversations with someone right out the gate. Because I want to make sure we're on the same page. I don't want to waste time. I don't want to waste energy. Money. None of that. And say that one more time. I don't want to waste money. And you've talked about where this is like a while ago, where like if you stop talking and break up, we need someone asked for the money that they spent back. And you said, absolutely. Bitch, I will kick your ass. I will kick your monkey ass. I would like a return on my investment. You return these nuts. How about that, bitch? How dare you? How dare you? I've, I, that was either because of something from Twitter or like a listener lighter from the read. It was one of those two, where they were just like, I broke up with this nigga and he asked me for all the money back that he spent on me while we were dating. And if that's truly how you would react to that kind of situation, why are you dating? What is the point? Why are you tabs on every time you spend money? Imagine you get a bill. January 23rd spent 3729 and Olive Garden. February 1st, I would have split the check every single time if that was the case. $13 at Walmart for batteries. Like goddamn, like, are you an itemized receipt every fucking time? I bet you that nigga got a spreadsheet and Excel spreadsheet. I ask you for nothing. For nothing. I don't even ask you for a stick of gum. What is that 19 cents? Fucking bitch. Her piece. But yes, please, please, please be honest in the dating scene and everything. Let people know your intentions. Let people know your history. We should have sang roster. Because you got to be honest about that too. What? If you got a roster? Oh, absolutely. All right, listen, I've said it a bunch of times. I don't care if I like you and we're having a good old time. I am single until otherwise the conversation has had. Now, if you want to ask me personally, if I'm seeing other people, I will be honest. But if you don't want to actually know, don't ask. Because you're going to get your feelings hurt and sex too. I won't personally be like from seeing someone and I had sex with someone last night. Unless we're going to have sex, I'm not going to say that I feel like it's a little rude. But if you ask me, I don't think that that's necessary. I mean, like, yeah, again, like if you ask me, well, I tell you and I'll be honest about it. Yes. But the only thing that I owe you is honest and test results. Yeah. Otherwise, I don't need to know. And you do, you don't need to know necessarily. Because all that's going to do is just make him add possibly. And I'm single. I'm so sorry. I know you like me. I like you too. But I got somebody else. And that's another thing. I'm not going to be like, you know, I'm going to go see somebody else later tonight. Don't ask me these questions. At this point, you're hurting your own feelings. Are you a mascus? Is that what's happening? You like being hurt, don't you? And only once I've been in a situation that when I got in trouble with the guy, that was like two years ago, I think when we were, I guess you can say dating, it wasn't exclusive. And then I don't know what you're talking about. When I told them, I would get off the apps. And then I got back on. And I didn't do that to yourself. Yes. That was that. And I'm a, I'm a, I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this. I was right. But you were wrong. You know, no, no, no, no, no, no, but you weren't right at all. You were not right at all. Let's, let's, let's write that off. Okay. You were not right. He said, though, you were wrong. And you just got to be honest with yourself about it. Because nobody, because here's the problem, right? He didn't ask you to delete the apps. He didn't ask you to get off of anything. You, not only offered to do it. You offered up the information. You could have done it and not said anything. And then being like, you know what? I'm bored. I'm going to go back on these apps. And he would have had, he would have been none of the wiser. But you said, I'm going to get up off these apps and be a one woman man. Yeah. And then 24 hours later. You were sucking cock in the back alley, I wasn't he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't I'm I'm I'm I'm exaggerating, but very much so I was to listen back in these streets and we were things are going cool. And I had invited him over to parties, we were hanging out semi regularly. And yes, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to focus on you. We're not dating exclusively, but I like you. And then shortly after I did get back on the apps. And I don't remember. Oh, oh, I remember. I was like, Hey, how are we had a conversation about I like to see him blah, blah. And he was like, actually, why do you say that? Because the friend of mine said they said you are the apps. Interesting. And I was like, yeah, and then I got in trouble because like AJ said, I had set the intention and the expectation of I'm not going to longer be on these apps. And I wasn't lying necessarily. However, I just did not let them know I did not give them an updated thing of, I'm actually back on the apps. So they were just unaware of that fact. And then to have a friend tell them. Slop in the face. Now I have to slap you in yours. Because yeah, I didn't know that they were fans, but we were like flirting a little bit and like dudes were exchanged. And then the friend was like, wait a minute. I've seen your man's whole blow. Well, they were recognized by face. And then embarrassingly they went up to the guy was like, do you know this? And the guy was like, actually, have you seen this? Have you seen this asked before does this crack work familiar to you? What about this tattoo? Do you know this tattoo? Actually, we've been dating for some time. So he felt he felt embarrassed rightfully so. So I understand you should have got good. Did you get cast out? No, you should have been. He was just he did it in a very classy way, but there was no action. Yeah. I would have classified that mother for nads declassified in that beach. I would have went smooth to fuck off. And then I kind of derailed everything. So that was my fault. So get on good on you for recognizing and I tried to rectify that make it better, but it was kind of too little too late. You got to rectify with that rectum. But anyway, give up that rosebud. If you're going to set expectations, be consistent, be honest. If you change your mind, be honest, don't ruin stuff for it with good people or whatever. That's all I'm going to say. And with that, we're going to wrap up this show. Like I said, this is for those who have been in a relationship or current relationship. I hope that this does not cause you to all of a sudden just spill all the beans. We did not tell you to do that, okay? You should have been to that if your guilty conscience is eating away at you that much. Just imagine you have a couple listening to us in the car or something and then one of them pulls over, pauses us. Actually, I have something I want to tell you. I would hate for us to be the reason that some big news comes out because you took this as a sign to finally be honest and tell the truth. Don't put that on us, please. What do we say? We always say, we y'all are grown. We cannot tell you what to do. I don't think we can even influence you. If we us two random people that you listen to, you probably don't even know, only if a handful of y'all personally know us. If we can influence you, I don't know what to tell you. Girl, I'm not a good influence. Don't. Like, I was listening to "Hey, Coffin." It's an episode just told me to be honest. I mean, yeah, be honest. People do that. I mean, but that's the other. Don't. Don't. Why am I in it? I say that a lot now. I realize I could put a shit a lot. They're not going to do with me. Why am I in this conversation? Why am I a part of this process? Y'all can carry on amongst yourselves. I don't. Don't don't bring me in this. Yeah, so if you choose now after listening to the artist, I mean, great, I guess, but you had been sitting on that since before you listened to this. So this has nothing to do with us. And don't be open, honest, transparent, okay? What's it going to say? Oh, but don't be honest. That whole, like, brutal honesty thing? No, no, no, because you could be honest and be a dickhead. I don't do that anymore, thankfully. I have grown and I have evolved. I'm just telling the truth. No, don't do that. I'm just telling it like it TI is. Oh, thank you. But anyways, thank you so much for listening. Hopefully we get a guest either next week or sometimes soon. I'm going to try to get one of my friends to come on once the episode you're trying to do next week. I don't know. We'll see. I haven't figured out yet, but I just want to see if I can even get them to come first. Hello, but I thought it was a girl. It is a girl, but it's just the way that it came out, which is funny. Yeah, like you saying you were trying to stroke me earlier and I was disgusted. Yeah, just I know what you mean, but yeah, that's exactly how I took it. I was just trying to stroke you. Like who says that? Who says that? You're disgusting. See you next week though. Be Spring.