Social media and it’s impact on teenages.

(upbeat music) - Hi guys, I'm Lirley and I am the host for Talking Tains. Talking Tains is a podcast that talks about lots of different issues and adversity that teens face today. It gives tips and advice on how to deal with and overcome certain adversity, as well as being a podcast that teens feel they can relate to. I want teens to feel as if the issues they are going through matter. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the next episode. (upbeat music) Hi guys, welcome or welcome back to Talking Tains. I'm Lili and today I'm going to be talking about social media. I am so, so, so excited to talk about this as this is a topic that I talk about a lot to people and think it's a really important topic to talk about. As social media is a big part of everyone's lives, it's, it's, everyone basically has that. I'm sure most teenagers, the majority of teenagers do have social media and use it. So I wanted to talk about that and talk about basically the impacts it can have on us teenagers and kind of the impacts it has in a negative way. So I'm going to be focusing a little more on the negative side of it and how it can be a little bit dangerous and how to be safe with it and be happy with it. I talked about social media a little bit in my last podcast, which was, what do teenage girls think? And I had two of my lovely friends come in and we had a great conversation and social media was definitely brought up quite a few times in that podcast. So I definitely wanted to continue that on and do a full in depth conversation about it. So that's what I'm doing and I'm just going to get straight into it. Okay, so I wanted to start off by saying like, what do I think social media is? I do have social media. I have my own personal account and then I also have my talking teens podcast account. #PromoGoFollowIt. So I think social media is a platform that people can use to post about their lives as well as posting positive things that are going to benefit people or businesses. I don't think it should be abused. I don't think it should be used in negative ways. However, that does happen a lot. And I don't think it should be everyone's like everything. You know, I feel like there's some people who are their career is using social media and I just don't believe that's right. I feel like your whole life shouldn't be on social media and shouldn't be about social media. So how important do I think it is? I think it's important to an extent. I think that people should use it if they want to promote businesses, promote organizations, promote stuff. Going on or if they want to use it to post about their lives and have a personal account, I think that's cool and I think people are allowed to do that. However, I think some people think it's more important than it is. It's not everyone's whole life and you do have a life outside of social media. So don't like go overboard with it. I feel like too many people think it's their whole life. There's a lot of good and bad that happens on social media. And I'm going to go really into that in this topic is that this good to it. Like I said, it can be promoted on social media can be used to promote organizations, businesses, stuff going on. There's beautiful minds. The organization that I've been to for and have mentioned a couple of times in my podcast. There are an amazing organization that helps out with teenagers and I've been here for them. And they've definitely inspired me to do this. They promote a lot of their stuff on social media. Basically everything that is about beautiful minds is promoted on social media. Their workshops, their events, their retreats, everything. And that's how a lot of people find out about it is through social media. So being done in that way and you know, this other organization that do amazing things that are promoted through social media, hashtags that are used to spread awareness about things as well as like for me, I saw all the stuff about the plastic and how you know, harmful it is to the ocean and all the climate change stuff. I saw that and learned about it through social media. Like I stopped using plastic straws and I'm saying to use reusable bags instead of plastic bags. And I learned about that through social media. Like I wouldn't be not using plastic straws if it wasn't for social media. And promoting that and talking about that because you know, you don't get really learned that in school about plastic use and all that type of stuff. So you can have a lot of good. However, it can also have a lot of bad and a bad I feel for me and this is a personal opinion. I think the bad outweighs the good. There's one part of it is the cyber building that goes on with having social media people think they can have a platform to bully people and troll people. You know, influences can get bullied and have trolls as well as ordinary people being targeted online. Which isn't very good. There's also a dangerous part of it of predators that can use social media to try and target people, which is also very dangerous. But there's also a fact that not many people talk about and don't think it's a bad thing. But it's also just who we see on social media and who we follow. That type of stuff can affect our well being so much. I know for me and I know a lot of teenagers girls get so affected about social media and what to post and when what time to post and how many likes and how many comments they have to get and the attention that they get and they feel like they need that recognition from social media to belong. And that part is bad. Like that part is so harmful to your well being and to yourself because you start to feel like you have to fit into this stereotypical thing like this little bubble of you have to be like this. And a lot of that is promoted through social media because of the type of people we're seeing on social media and a type of people who use social media. So yeah, I think that part is such a big part of it. And that's the main part I'm going to be talking about today. So speaking of the bad and like I said, I'm going to be focusing a little more on the bad today because yeah, that's I want people to understand that this is what affects us teenagers. And I feel like the part that I'm definitely going to be talking about the most is the part that is just a normal people think is normal, you know, posting photos and wanting the likes and the comments and all that type of stuff. I feel like every teenager almost anyway, I can't speak for everyone. I feel like every teenager kind of feels as if they have to post and have to get the recognition at some point in their teenage hood. Some may only have it for a while when they're younger and first get it and then grow out of it. Others always through high school or go, I have to have this recognition. I have to fit in. I have to post this. I have to look like this to get people's attention to get guys attention to fit in. And yeah, so influences is a big part of that. Like I said, people use social media to post about their life and be Instagram famous. We've got examples like the Kardashians and gennors. They obviously are famous people and they post about their so-called perfect life on there. The models, the other celebrities, music artists, all the stuff they post about their perfect life. Not all of them, but a lot of them. I'm for example, I use this example a lot and that's just because I'm not a big fan of them and I'm not trying to bag out anyone who is if you are, that's awesome. The Kardashians and gennors and those model type people post only the good parts of their life and how perfect it is. They're yachts that they go and their cars that they have. They're fancy clothes, they're hair, they're body that they've spent so much money on trying to get perfect. They post all that and so many girls follow them and maybe look up to them. But those type of people can start making you feel bad about yourself and this type of thing is going to go under a topic of self love and future podcasts. I'm going to talk about that but it also goes under social media and those type of people can make you feel bad and that's what can make start making people feel as if they need to start posting certain stuff. So when looking at influencers, you can feel as if you need to look like them, you feel like you need to have that money. And if you don't, you don't feel like you're good. enough or you might not feel as good as them or as pretty as them or whatever because they're getting, they have the followers, they're getting so many comments of people saying oh my god, your gorgeous blah blah blah. You know, their stuff is face tuned, their stuff is cropped, everything is fake, it's fake and people fall into that chopper thinking I have to be like them. So it's so easy to feel like that, it's not a bad thing, it just happens because they're posting that type of stuff. So they can make us then feel looking at stuff like that. We have very good about ourselves, like I said it can make us feel unworthy, it can make us feel as if we're not good enough and that that then starts to make, to make 10-age girls and guys even because there are so many guy influencers who are only post about their amazing life on the internet. I can start to make us just feel crap and not very good and then those type of, then we, 10-age can start posting photos about their so-called perfect life. Like people squealing less, start making the try and make them look super skinny for an Instagram photo. People putting on a bikini in the middle of winter to post in front of a mirror to post a photo. Like that drives me crazy seeing that just because they want the attention and it's not their fault, I'm not saying it's no one's fault, it's just what they see on the internet through other people that makes them feel as if they need to do that as well. Which I don't, for me, I don't think that's right and I feel like people like that aren't doing it for the right reasons. So we've got the influencers who can make us feel not too good about ourselves. However there's also our own peers, you know, people who are in our year, our friends even. The people that we hang around with, people at our school, cousins, family members, family friends, you can also feel not so good about yourself when you're seeing other people post photos. A big thing is for teenagers is if they're friends or other people in their year have more followers than them or are getting more likes or comments and then they feel as if, oh my gosh, I'm not as good as them, I'm not as popular, they're getting the boys attention, they have so many comments, oh my gosh, they're so cool, I'm not. What am I doing wrong? Right and those people post those photos because like I said, they sit on the internet, they feel like they have to do it and then you see them doing it, your friends doing it and the new feel as if you have to do it and you feel what's wrong with me. I want to start off with, follow us, comments, likes, doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Right now you think it's your whole world because you're in high school and that's just how it is and no one talks about it, no one teaches you how to be happy online, no one. And that's what I'm trying to do now is to try and tell people, this is how it is, don't be ashamed of it because this type of stuff happens all the time and I think nearly every teenager can feel this way but are too embarrassed to talk about it because they know deep down it's stupid. I used to do it, I'm not even going to lie to you guys. I used to post for the wrong reasons because of what I was seeing on the internet. I was seeing their influences, I was seeing even my own peers post photos and I felt, oh my gosh they're getting more likes for me, they're cooler than me, they're more popular than me, they're more friends than me, people don't like me because they don't have this or that. That's all, I felt that way. So don't sit here and go, oh no I don't do that, admit it to yourself, don't be embarrassed about it, it's okay, everyone does, I think so many people do it, I can't say everyone because I don't know if everyone does it but a lot of people do feel that way. So yeah, it can be our peers as well, not just influences who do it and that's only because that's what they're seeing on the internet. And they're doing it for the attention, right? The attention comes from it, they feel as if they need to post certain types of photos that may not be appropriate to be on the internet for attention. Attention is a big, big thing, that's what people do it for. If they're posting, because there is a right reason to post and there's a wrong reason they're post and I'm going to talk about that. The wrong reason is for attention and it can be sometimes because of their friends and they're trying to get more likes and their friends or more comments and their friends. Maybe it's because they aren't feeling as if they belong in a friend group or around people that they feel as if they need to post this to get the attention from people to feel as if they are worth it because people can feel alone at school and they feel like they have to do it that way to get noticed. As well as boys, like getting attention from boys and seeing wanting them to see your body or wanting them to see you and think that you're so pretty, right? And you think I have to pose this way, I have to look this way to get guys attention. Everyone I feel like can do that, you know? But there's also the attention and that's like the wrong reasons to post. But there's also right reasons to post. So there are inappropriate things that I believe and I think a lot of people will agree with that shouldn't be on the internet and especially at our age. I'm 15, we're 10 ages. I feel like at this age there's certain things that we shouldn't be posting. And even if you are doing it for the right reasons, there's just certain things you don't post at this age. Okay, when you're an adult, make that decision later, but right now, no. And those examples are having your butt, your whole butt, like you're wearing like a bikini but it has your whole butt out in it. For me, and stuff, I don't think that's very appropriate at this age. Once you post something, it doesn't matter if you are on a private account or not, that photo is out there forever. It is there forever. So just be aware of what you're posting. Yeah, be aware of what you're posting because what you're posting is there forever and just know that there are things that may not are meant to be on the internet right now at this day and age and you know, when you're older and you're looking for jobs or you're going back on your photos and you see that you might not be proud of it. You want to make sure that what you're posting, you're happy with to be up there forever. Like I said, there's also right reasons to post and we need to know what the right reasons are and we need to know how to deal with that. I feel like people only post for the wrong reasons because they feel as if they need to post this type of stuff. For me, the right reasons to post are because you generally like the photo. You've taken a photo wherever it is and you like it. You go, I look good in this. I feel confident in this. I feel happy in this and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I don't care about the likes. I don't care about the comments. I don't care about how many followers I have. I like this photo and I'm going to post it. That's why you should be posting. But because you want attention from people, not because you feel as if you need to post this type of photo. If it is a photo in a bikini and you generally feel confident and happy in that photo, post it. Don't post it because I have a crush on a boy and I want him to see this and go, damn, she has a good body or something. Don't post because of that. Post for the right reasons. It's so easy to say but how do you learn to do that? How do you feel confident and happy enough to post and not care about the likes and comments? Because it's easy to say but putting in place is harder than you think. The way you start off by doing that is to start following people that make you feel happy and confident about yourself. So if you're following influencers who are making you feel shit, unfollow them. It's as easy as that. You have the control on who you follow and who you see on your feed. It is your Instagram account or your Facebook account, your Twitter account, whatever you use, it is your account. You have the control over it so you can see control who you see on your feed. So if you are following models, if you are following Instagram famous people, YouTubers who are making you feel unhappy about yourself, unfollow them. This is easy as that and you don't have to unfollow them forever. Just unfollow them for the time being to start making yourself feel better and then change who you're following. So, unfollow the people that are making you feel bad and put people in there that you know are going to make you feel good like body positive people. People who don't post every perfect aspect of their life, they post the shitty parts of their life. Get people who post real photos of them, not Photoshop, not Airbrushed type of photos. People that post inspiring quotes, nutritionists, I find nutritionists are a good one because they're posting photos on how to stay fit and healthy but they're also doing it in a way that doesn't make you feel bad about yourself. Fruit accounts, you know, those are a big thing at the moment. Fruit accounts and my friend has a fruit account and she's posting on there. Follow that type of stuff. Follow stuff that makes you happy. I never really was into the models or those sort of influences I never really followed many of them but I did unfollow the people on social media that were making me feel unhappy about myself and not confident within myself. And like I said, it can be also your peers. So unfollow them. Not every follower is a friend. It doesn't matter if they're following you and you feel oh, I need to follow them because they're following me. No. You're seeing people in your year, people at your school that are making you feel unhappy about yourself. Unfollow them for now. And when you're feeling better about yourself and you're feeling more confident in yourself than maybe follow them back. After a month, six months a year, however long it takes. But for now, unfollow them because it's only going to benefit you and you have the power over what you see on your feed. So that's like the first step on what's going to make you feel better about yourself. And seeing on your feed when you're scrolling through your feed because let's just face it. Social media is a part of our life. Most people's lives anyway. Most people have it. Most people are going to continue using it and look at it. So it's a happy place. Make it a place that makes you feel good about yourself when you're on it. I'm not saying that means I can be on a 24/7. No. There's also a lion. And like I said, it's not everyone's life. There is a lion that shouldn't be crossed, right? But when you are on it, make it a happy place and make it a place that you enjoy being on. So once you're feeling confident, you will feel so much easier to pose photos that you're feeling confident in. Right? As well as the fact that like I said, do you have the power? If there are people that are saying mean stuff on your photos, block them and get rid of those type of people. They don't need to be in your life. They don't deserve to be in your life. Because you are beautiful. Every person with thing to do this right now. I don't need to see your face. I don't need to know what you look like. You are beautiful and you don't deserve people who are saying negative things about photos on Instagram or whatever social media you use. Because like I said, it's a big thing, you know. Being on social media posting, it is a big part of our lives. And everyone's going to continue using it. It's this generation. So technology is only getting bigger and bigger. So yeah, make it a happy place and you have the power over it. So doing that, it's going to make it so much easier to pose photos you're happy with. And have good friends that surround you. Like I said, don't have negative people are saying mean stuff. Have good friends around you who are going to build you up no matter what you put on social media make you feel good about yourself. Not people who just do it to get attention or people who are just saying mean stuff. Okay, so we've got that part of it and that's really what I wanted to talk about because I feel as if so many teenagers feel this way but are so embarrassed like I said to talk about it because they know it's embarrassing and they know it's silly. But everyone I think feels this way and the reason is because we're not taught this type of stuff at school. We're not taught about social media and that type of it. We're taught about cyber bullying and we're taught about like the predators and that type of stuff and sexting and all that type of stuff but we're not taught about this part of it. So I wanted to have this awareness on hey this is how people can feel on social media and it's how people can feel looking through their feet. They can feel unhappy. They can feel not very good about themselves. So I hope this makes some people feel more comfortable and go well I'm not the only one who does feel that way. Hopefully this inspires people to unfollow people and start following new people. Hopefully this makes people aware of yeah there are right and wrong things to be putting on the internet. And yeah even if there's you know some parents are older people listening who can then have an insight on what their kids feel when looking at social media and how that can, how you can help them make have a happier place for them because taking social media away or not using it isn't always going to solve the problem because it is just a part of our lives. So use it in a responsible way and use it in a way that's going to make you feel happy. So yeah I'm so happy that I had this conversation and like I said before I can get a little off track so I'm sorry this is just a thing that I'm very passionate about and I would love to do another thing in the future about social media and talk about the other side of it in that side being you know how much use people use and how it can take over people's lives in the fact that people on their phone 24/7. I would love to talk about that side of it but that's another time and that will be in the future. I really hope you guys like this and I really hope this has made other people feel comfortable or aware of the impact social media can have on teenagers. So yeah thank you so much for listening and I'll be back with my next podcast soon. Bye!