So you wanna be the best?

Bada boom, bada bang, we are back in this thing. What's going on? Um, welcome to the show, and we're just going to dive right in because obviously that's what we do. We were just talking about your call that you had, and I just feel like that could be a great kick off to this beautiful, like, conversation that we're going to have with our people and each other. So you said you were saying some things about a realization that one of your people had and I wondered if you could just quickly summarize what you got out of that. Mm hmm. Okay. Just add context. I feel like what when I'm working with students and clients, like what holds people back from building a brand and building a business is lack of clarity. Like I really do. I feel like it's like what you get so frustrated that you don't know what to say in your content. Yeah. 100%. You get frustrated that you don't know what to say in your content, and you get frustrated that you don't know if you're in the right niche or if you have the right offer, if you have the right solution, and I, and I watch it play out, I've watched it played out for however long I've been doing this, and I also feel like I have experienced it yourself. Yeah, bro, 100%. Okay. Because I actually feel like I really did question that just now because I'm like, because you said one of your biggest skills, which from my perspective is also a big skill is your like conviction. So I wondered if you like, you get so convicted in your clarity that you think it's clarity and you just move with that. And so I feel like that is a really big thing that I feel like I watch you do. So I was questioning like, do you feel like you lack clarity? I mean, I know you, but like, yeah, has it held you back? In the moment, I think it's holding me back, but I, in hindsight, I see it was all on purpose. But I, in, in talking with this client that I just hung up with, I did give the example of like my very first offer in the business world as a business mentor, which I don't even claim anymore. Okay. So that's part of it, too. I created this bad ass online course, creator course to help other people create courses. And it was like 87 modules. I've got so granular. I told you step by step, here's exactly what you need to be doing. And if you would to, if you were to follow that front to back and do everything that was included in the course, you would come out with an incredible course. Not a lot of people did. And there was a lot of people that went through that course. And so what happens in that experience or what happened for me, which is relevant to all of this, is I realized, oh, you can't just hand people tasks to do. You can't hand people answers and expect it to get them where you want it to get them. This is not about giving people answers, like that's not what this is about. And that's where I, I, I learned quickly, like, okay, I don't actually love teaching people to create online courses because of that. Like I couldn't help people win by teaching them to create an online course. So all of that to say, what I think, the analogy that I give to my clients all the time is why is it that everyone knows how to lose weight, everyone you, you eat less, you work out more. Everyone knows the answer yet it is one of the hardest things for people to do. And it's because there's so much more to it than just like you have to first become the person who can get to the point of the discipline. You have to then become a person who becomes obsessed with the discipline. And then you have to then become a person who can hold the weight that she just lost. And that is all what I just said, which is quote unquote, "becoming." So when you're a leader and you have a solution in this conversation with this client, she thought that her solution a year ago was, I'm going to, this is, this is huge. She's going to help people. I'm going to like really serve the world and I have, I'm going to hand them answers. And a year later, she's, I was just going to say like, and it makes sense. It makes sense. Yes. And I know people are going to want this. I think that's another thing. And a year later, she's unraveling that this is not the thing that she's super passionate about. Number one, that's super important. But number two, she's not making the impact that she wants to make because it's not as simple as handing someone a step by step process. And so she's revealing like, I, what I actually want to do is I want to do a little bit deeper of empowerment. And so the problem with that, though, is when you start thinking like, okay, I want to do more empowerment, it feels very fluffy. And you're like, how am I ever going to reach people? How are they ever going to understand about the empowerment that I want to create and that I want to lead because I don't know how to put into words, articulate, which is another challenge. The specifics around this empowerment. And so it feels like too much, I'm just going to stick to something that, like you said, makes sense. Great. Well, anyway, sorry, go ahead. No, you go. I was just going to say that another thing I take from that in regards to the summary is like, unfortunately, that was the answer for her to get to where she's at, to where she feels very excited and understanding of her mission and strong enough and courageous enough to move forward without it making sense necessarily. She had to like, and so it's like, although we're all afraid of making the wrong answer and not having clarity around what the right answer is, it might take us putting ourselves out there in what we logistically thinks makes sense and then realizing, oh, I want to go this way. So it was the answer regardless. Correct. You can't get to the right answer without having all the wrong answers first. You can't get to winning without failing like, you don't get to cut corners. Who do you think you are? And yeah, I, I get excited about this stuff because it makes my leadership more fun. When as a leader, I feel like I've put so much pressure on myself to be like, oh, I want to hand you the right strategy and I really want it to work for you. And now I realize there, that doesn't exist. Yeah. Like, every strategy is right. Every strategy will work. Yeah. But there's something else to it. What is that thing? And that's what I've been obsessed with lately is, is I feel like I can just take a deep breath because man will also work. It's involved. Yeah. Also, I was going to say like, that's the same reason why someone can come into your world and get so much out of it. And then also someone can come into your world and not get so much out of it because at the end of the day, it's not about the answers that are provided. It's about why people are showing up to your experience and what season and chapter they're in in their lives and what they're taking from it. And so it's like completely almost out of your control. So the thing that matters is that you're so present and connected to your work and you're so in love with it that you do it because of you wanting to do it and talk about it and be about it. Yes. Yes. Which is, again, a thing that we seek clarity on. Like, we're like, oh, what's my thing that I'm so passionate about because at the same time, we're, I'm tired and I'm not passionate about anything sometimes, most of the time. But like, what's the thing that you would, that you used to do as a kid or like, what's the thing that you would do for free and also like, just do that and don't make it the thing that you're going to do that's the thing for your rest of your life, you know, like we just, yeah. And I even think about you and the conversations we've had and still have, I feel like sometimes where I kind of feel like, and I do this too in my, in maybe a different way. You probably know it. You could probably nail it in whatever it is that I do in this way. But Chandler will try to like, not label, but like you'll try to title your philosophy and, and you want to nail that title so that it makes sense and feel strong and like, that's, that's what it is, you know, and it's like, no, you know exactly what it is. And it's like, it doesn't need a title or whatever and it's like, and also that's not new news to you. It's not a revelation. And it's like, you've been doing this. Like, just keep going. Yes. 100% 100% dude, I was archiving some of my old content the other day because I'm at this place where I'm like, if this isn't, if this isn't how old and useful I'm going to archive it. Like, I don't need it on my page. And I've been talking about the same stuff for years, dude. I just feel like it's getting deeper and deeper. It's not, it's like, I feel like I've changed and I really have only gone deeper. I haven't gone wider. I've gone deeper. That's the realist. Okay. That's so real. But also, that's so cool. But also, I had someone go back to my, through my page and comment on a post I made in 2016 of me talking to camera, yes, I've been doing that, I guess, when I was on it. Yeah. You did. And it was me. Hold on. Anyways, I sat on there. I was like, you know, I want to be this, I want to be this motivator for my people and I want to like be the reason why they said like, I changed my life, but at the same time, I've realized like, I'm just the person who then inspires them to show up for themselves and they're the hero of their own story. Like, I literally said that in 2016 when I was doing. beach body before anything. And I'm literally like, damn. I, you keep thinking that you're like, oh, clarity. And it's like, no, it's like I, I thought I came all this way, but the reality is I knew this shit then. But like, yeah, huh, yeah, it's wild. It really is, because I also think like, the only, like, it's like, what are you going to, how do I want to say this? What do you want to repeatedly do and embody? Because that's like, I, so when I think about you, I think it's so incredible how long you've been doing turn up. Like the, the length of time of focus on one business is that's got to put you in the 1% dude. Like that's not normal to just do one business for that long and focus on one mission for that long. That's insane. So you, but you, I mean, I was literally just texting either night and you had had a really tough emotional day. It's freaking seven or 8 p.m. And I'm like, what are you going to do to take care of yourself and you're like, I'm going to do turn up, I'm going to sweat and I'm going to order food. And it's like, oh, you're not even, you don't, you, you're serious. Like you're not even going to post about it. You're not going to perform that. You're not going to pretend you are, you are turn up. Like that is what you repeatedly do for years upon years upon years. Like, and so when you see a woman out there in the world and you know that that type of woman is someone that you could help, the first thing you think to yourself is that woman needs turn up and it would change her life. And that is the secret sauce. Why are you going to cry? I don't know. I feel like dang, like that's all true. And also I think it's crazy because I think I have the opposite fear maybe of like being so attached to like so in love with turn up that it's scary. Like that it's like, what's scary about that? Like, I've evolved a lot clearly, like, but also not that much clearly. You know, like, I'm saying like based on what we have said. You know, the thought process is similar. But I think sometimes I'm so turn up with Tanty that I'm in fear of like as I evolve, is it going to be are people going to see me any other way? Or like, I don't know. I think it's just like no matter what clarity you have, like there's always going to be a fear around whatever it is that you feel like you don't have that might be scary. But I also think like I actually, as I say that out loud, I think being alive and like really living in your aliveness and like really doing life well is being all in on whatever it is that you're doing. And that being all in on whatever it is that you're doing is the thing that is going to give you the next thing that you are moving towards. And it's like you can't actually figure out what that next thing is unless you're completely fully all in on that thing. So even though there's a fear around, oh my gosh, am I niching down too much or am I too much this? It's like that all inness is building me to whatever the next season is. And it's like I'd rather be all in on what it is that I'm spending my time doing, than being fear of committing fully and loving something so much and being so rava about it that I'm like, mmm, that's that's too much. Like there's what's the point? - Yeah, well, I, the question of what's the point, I ask myself at all areas of every single day even when I'm brushing my teeth. Like what's the point? Like of brushing my teeth, you know what I mean? Like I'm always asking myself and I think that has been a part of my entire life, actually, 'cause I remember even being in school and being like, what's the point, which is why I sucked at school 'cause there was no point. I couldn't come to a conclusion there. So when I just said it, it's not the content. It was the person who became a process of person. - That's what I mean. I mean, what's the point in all of this? If I, again, using turn up with Tancy as let's pretend it's a persona, using that as an evidence to support this entire conversation, the point is you used yourself to master. If anyone understands mastery, there's no arrival. Mastery is a practice. It is not a destination. You have used yourself to master turn up. The game of life is, part of the game of life is to master something, a skill, and then to treat it as a gift to give to other people. That's all it is. And some people figure that out earlier than other people and some people figure out later, it doesn't matter, it's all in perfect timing. But the one thing that you go all in on, which isn't easy, like, let's just, let's just call it how it is. Like, going all in is not easy. That's the whole point. - Right. - But you, he can't get enough of it. And you can't let it go because now it's almost like you have this loyalty to it, where it's like, your interrelationship with turn up. That's how it feels. - I'm married to the game. - And so, yeah. And I think that's the, it's like all of this is, if I could, I'm so passionate about this. Like, I'm so passionate about, and I, again, lacking clarity on what to call it. But like, I want to help someone find that mastery. I want to help someone speak. I feel like speaking is my thing, and I'm just starting to realize that. I want to help someone find that mastery, become a thought leader around it, and then give it to other people. Like, it doesn't matter what the fucking offer is. It doesn't matter how much it costs. It doesn't matter the title. It's like, become obsessed with something and so good at something that you become an expert at it that people want it from you. - Yeah. - That is so fulfilling. - Yeah. I also think though, it's like, you don't get to know that that's what you're in pursuit of in the process of it. Like, I don't think that that's clear. Like, when I look back at the journey, it's never, I still have a lot to learn, but never was I like, in pursuit of being the master of even dance, like dance. If I would have talked to the person of me 10 years ago and said like, you're gonna be dancing, dancing. I would be like, nobody cares. Like, what are you, like, okay. That was never something I was in pursuit of. Like, I have to be the best at this. I think if you're in pursuit of that, it's almost like a thing to question within yourself. Whereas it's like, I love this shit. It's in my soul. - Yes. - Eminem in the song, gosh, to like lapse when he says, - It's just so weird, we just did that song in the live stream yesterday. It's weird that you're talking about it. - That's so weird. - 'Cause I couldn't, I couldn't tell you a workout that I've put that in. - That's so weird. - Yeah, but he says a plaque in platinum status is whack if you went the baddest. Like, he has said on many interviews, like you would hand me a trillion dollars. I don't want it if I'm not the best at what I do. Like, I'm obsessed with what I do. I don't, I don't want recognition. I don't want the plaques. I don't want platinum status. I don't want none of that. I want to be the baddest. Like, that's what I'm in this for. I want to be the best of the best of the best. - Yeah. - And that's like, I have this conversation all the time with Matt, because in my industry, in my niche, whatever you want to call it, it's so much about how much money you make. And like, you know, like, it's all, there's so much talk on that. And I don't know why, but it irks me. And I've thought for the longest time, like, I'm the problem. Like, do I have money issues? Like, do I have, 'cause I don't want to talk about how much money I make. I don't want to talk about how much money you're going to make when you create good content. Like, that doesn't do anything for me. It does not scratch an inch, like, at all. I actually repel it. But I've realized it's because I don't care about that. Like, I believe money, I love money. And I believe it's going to be a byproduct, but that's all it is. It's a byproduct. It doesn't indicate that you're the best. And I want to work with the people who want to be the best. And if you don't want that, I'm not for you. And that's okay. But like, if all you're out here is to make money, I don't know how to help you and support you on that. So that's why it rubs me the wrong way. And there will be a coach that can help you and support you on that. I'm not the one. I'm the one who's like, I want to, I want someone who's drowning in their craft. And tell me why what you're doing to get so good at it. Tell me the questions that you have. Tell me what your daily thought process is. And let's put that into content. And money will come. It's inevitable. But let's talk about, let's talk about getting to the top of the mountain, bro. Like, let's talk about that. Yeah. Well, and it's like, your job is to actually remind people, or like, give perspective on that. Because we are subconsciously trained, not on purpose, that the way that you become the best is to make other people see you as the best, or to earn this amount that says you've made it to the top of the mountain. You're saying, I've realized the top of the mountain is actually not what they tell you the top of the mountain. It's like, the top of the mountain is being drowning is drowning in your craft. And, and like, just becoming an artist within it. Regardless of what it is and allowing yourself to be drowning in the process of that. Yes, that's frickin' hard, man. And it's also like so amazing too at the same time. But it also requires you to be in such alignment with what it is that you're doing that you don't, that you don't even think about anything other than that. Yeah, how dare you think you have control over how much money you make? Like, that's what I feel. Like, what I, what I witness is like, There's so many people out there like us that are obsessed with what they're doing like so many so many women that are focused so hard on becoming the best, I believe that, but the disconnect is being able to translate that into your content so that people see you for that. That's the disconnect. Like it's hard to, because there's a gap between who you are in real life and who you are in your content, that's why you're not being perceived as the best at what you do because you lack translation. And in translation is not, hey, look, I'm the best at what I do. Translation is like, hey, I'm doing this today and I'm obsessed with this and here's the questions that I have and here's what I'm unclear on and here's what I'm working through and here's my problems, my challenges, and here's how I'm overcoming them. That's the translation. Yeah. Yeah, and being able to connect to people through that and like empower them to like go on that journey themselves without needing to tell them to go on that journey themselves. And that part, I do think it's like you can't be in pursuit of being the best and you can't feel the need to tell everybody you're the best. Like I can honestly say I've been such given such perspective this past year on like the way people look at you at people like and the thoughts that they have the boxes that they put you in and I think before I maybe was just like way back naive to that to a certain extent just because all I knew was being myself and like, what do you mean? Like you think that makes like because you see this version of me, you only think this of me, that's crazy because I don't operate that way. So it was like I guess it was naive, but then as I move forward, I'm like, oh, this is the way the world works and I think I I never feel the need. I'm trying to think like I think I'm trying I think I can say this with conviction and like truth is that I don't when you're the best, you don't feel the need to let everyone know you're the best or when you when you're in the process, not even when you're the best, when you're in the process of pursuing your your your shit. Like this is my shit. Like you aren't in the pursuit of letting people know that you're pursuing your shit. Like you're just showing up and sharing your journey of what you love and that makes you somebody that people want to learn from. That makes you the best. That's why one person's definition of the best is different from the next. One person's definition of the best is your name is plastered in lights and you make a lot of money whereas another person M&M's definition of the best is that I wake up every day and this is what I get to do. Yeah. Like that's that's the difference is what are we defining as quote unquote the best? And there's no the best again. It's an it's it's a it's you asking yourself if I want to be the best at this. What is that version of me doing thinking, acting, behaving right now? It's not what do I have to do to get there? Because it's not there. It's right now. Like if I'm going to be the best at gardening and I want to be I want to be known as the best gardener in the whole entire world. The question is not how do I become the best? The question is what am I doing right now in my boring Tuesday of becoming the best at being I'm going in my garden. I'm I'm I'm learning more about soil. I'm learning about the water that I use. I'm learning about all this and I'm trialing. I'm airing like air airing. I'm making mistakes and I'm learning and I'm that's it. That's that's being the best. And I feel like if you're unwilling to pursue that journey, that means that's not your shit. Correct. Agreed. Like yeah. And I think that's a that's clarity in itself of being able to recognize like what is it that I'm willing to like spend my life my life's work in. And you don't need to know that actually. It's just like what right now would you spend hours for the next week if you had the week? Would you spend hours learning about talking about being about creating? And the only way to find that is to do the wrong things first. That's where it's like you don't get to sit behind your desk and say, what do I feel excited about doing that I would want to do forever? Let me go through a list and decide what that would be. No, you have to actually go do it. And you're going to find all the things that you don't like first. Like period, most people, I feel like you didn't have to deal with that as much. But I mean, you went through a tee or a teacher over a while, but man, I feel like I've done so many different things like. Yeah. I think I think back to like when I was in third grade and I picked up a basketball. And like I can literally remember that moment. Like I remember being I remember a gym. I remember the moment I'm picking up the ball. And it was the same feeling that I felt when I started doing when I went to my first like dance fitness class. And it's like I the the lucky thing for me is that I was the older sister and my and our parents didn't probably didn't really know what they were doing in regards to whatever, but like I didn't have a direction that I was supposed to go necessarily or that I felt pressure. It was like I'm going to do this because I love it. And then I was so obsessed with it that like they had no choice but to learn about basketball. So it's like I don't know what that is, but it's like it's it's a feeling and it's also recognizing the difference between things that you think you're supposed to be doing that that you've been that you've decided versus when you're in it. It feels like it feels like the most fun ever. Well, the most fun, but not all the time, but also it's awful. It's a that's why I like to use the word craft. It's a it's a craft because the things that you're often most obsessed with, you have to work towards being good at like I think back to my attorney with basketball. I was naturally very good at basketball. I was not obsessed with it. I was not obsessed with getting better at it. I was good at it because I'm athletic and I'm tall. Yeah, like I I'm obsessed with what I do now because I'm constantly trying to evolve. And that's my that's what attaches my obsession is it's the only thing in my life that feels like a challenge that I want to accept. Ooh, that's so real. Yeah, because I remember yeah, like I didn't get playing time. I was told to go play softball, not basketball by my freaking coach like every and no part of me was like, oh, I should listen to her. That's what's crazy is I listen to I literally feel like every I put everybody on a pedestal and I'm like they have the answers and I don't like I feel like I have I've had to like work through that. No part of me in that moment when she had such conviction that I should not be playing basketball was like, oh, she's right. Like I was literally like, okay, I'll find somebody else or like I'll figure it out on my own. I guess like Erie wasn't even a thought it was just like, okay, thanks for nothing. Yeah. And it was just that's what it was. And it's like, what would you what would I it's I think the point is like it's painful. The process is painful, but it's the willingness to be in that pain and see yourself in it because you just love the game so much. Whatever that game is like it's it's for love of the game. Yeah, I totally agree. And I also I went on the play college basketball and you know was all conference and all those things. So just FYI. And I wasn't shout out to the person who's holding I shouldn't play basketball. That I was on a podcast the other day as a guest. And the question one of the questions was tell me a story about a time in your life when you've been underestimated the most. And this girl probably hated interviewing me because I was like, yeah, that's not the right question for me. Wow. Yeah. And it's because I've actually never been underestimated. In fact, the the right question is when in your life where in your life do you overestimate yourself because that's the story I want to hear because that's like you overestimated yourself in basketball, which meant no one could underestimate you. You weren't willing to face it. And again, I think about that to myself like, unfortunately, I've had a little bit fortunately and unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, everywhere I go in my life and I'm not saying this to sound conceited, people believe in me. And it's because I'm convicted and I have this I know I have this to me where people think that I'm going to be good at what I'm doing because I tell myself I'm going to be good at what I'm doing, even if it's not what I like doing, or I just won't do it. It's not about people underestimating you that makes you rise to the occasion. Let's ask better questions. That's not it. Just because you get underestimated, that's not if you will get any underdog. Do you really think that they rose to the occasion because they were underestimated by other people or did they rise to the occasion because they overestimated themselves? That's so good. Also, like, I personally also think that and this is like, I don't I've never said this to you, but I think we're I think you're always underestimated. I think I think we're always underestimated by people. Like it's it's a literal it's a literal thing that is real life and it's not someone doing it on purpose, but like they are that's the what we started this conversation with was like, you're going to see me and you're going to see what only you can see. and therefore you're underestimating me. And that's not my problem and I'm not going to move from that. No, like how dare we think that because you underestimated me, I became a baddie. You don't have power over me. I don't care if you underestimate me, overestimate me, think I'm the best. That was my whole point is like, you want to talk about underestimating. I've underestimated myself in every area of my life except for what I'm doing right now, which is the only reason why I'm successful is because I've overestimated myself and what I'm doing right now. Like it's not about underestimation. We think it's all about proving other people and what you're doing in that thought process is you're handing out your power and you're not, if you, if you kept that power to yourself and really just found the area in life of which you overestimate yourself, you would become powerful. Yeah, I do think that or what do you think? Maybe I don't know the answer to this, but I think it's okay. I say this. I'm talking out loud to move from that at a certain point in the journey to move from I'm going to prove all these people wrong. And that motivates you on the hard days or like that motivates you when you feel like people are underestimating you or you even take that on as a, as an identity to motivate yourself. But then at some point that's not going to work anymore to where it's like that can't be your only way of moving through the process like it has to be yours. I totally agree with that. And I think it still though is on the surface, you might think that you're proving everyone wrong. You might think that that's what you're doing that's extremely superficial what you're actually doing is proving yourself right. Like you're not really doing it for other people like if you're, if you're, if you're going to create victory around with the premise of I'm fueled by proving other people wrong. That's the goal what you're actually doing is believing in yourself at, at the core of this situation, you are, you have self respect and self belief has nothing to do with those people. Yeah, when you think about the greats of the greats like Kobe Bryant, for example, do you think that shoot what was I just going to ask about him. I just lost it. Oh, do you think that they're born with a certain something to them or do you think that everyone has the capacity to be obsessed with something like that. I think everyone has a capacity, quick answer. I fully believe that I think every single person has the capacity to be extraordinary. I think I've read this where it's like we all have this inner diamond and the diamond has, if you look at a diamond from many different angles, it has so many different viewpoints like it's extremely complex. Everyone has a diamond within them and the diamond has a lot of dirt on it and your entire life path is to clean the dirt off the diamond so that you can see from all angles how brilliant the diamond is. So I believe everyone has the capabilities to be a Kobe Bryant if they wanted to, but Kobe Bryant is was Kobe Bryant because of mom mentality like let's not forget he got out of his own way and he became obsessed with what he was doing. It wasn't because he was the best at basketball and the most naturally talented person like he dusted off his diamond and was able to shine. Yeah, I, what do you think? Do you think everyone's capable? Well, I definitely, I think I do, but I question what the difference is in or why we're so why only like he's Kobe Bryant and mom of mentality and like that's such a rare diamond. Yeah, what is it that turns someone into like can't stop won't stop can't like you can't stop me. I'm never going to quit. I and almost to the point where it's like he was actually thoroughly misunderstood. He was not liked because of his obsession and his demand for greatness from everybody around him and the way he went about it. But like what is the difference between that and someone who has it in them and hasn't realized it or something you know or like never has tapped into that feeling of like great of like. My take and again, I have no clue, but my take is like I do think people get so distracted by things like someone who is watching Kobe Bryant and is just as obsessed with basketball as Kobe Bryant is maybe again let's check ourselves are you really obsessed or are you obsessed with what being Kobe Bryant might bring for you. Egotistically, I think people get distracted by shiny objects like going back to my point of visibility and content people think that visibility will make them rich. Because that's what people are posting about I'm I'm rich and I have this online social media business. And we need to be more enlightened and think a little bit deeper whereas if that you might trick yourself into believing like I want to make impact or I want to I have a mission on my heart. Yet if you're constantly measuring yourself by how much money you're making you ain't found your obsession yet like you just haven't. And you say this all the time like what is the thing that you would do for free I can guarantee you if Kobe Bryant were sitting in front of us right now he'd say I would play basketball all day every day and do it for free like the the fame the money the recognition. I was doing all this before that happened like I didn't need that wasn't part of the plan it just came with the plan it was a byproduct of me being on my path. Yeah yeah interesting I also think like when you start to move from that speaking of diamonds like there's the there's the act of dusting it off to be able to see the shine but there's also the act of like everyone is a rock. The pressure turns you into a diamond so it's like because he stepped into his love and was so committed to his love of the game there then became a pressure to show up in that standard and the pressure actually I think and willingness to accept that pressure and that responsibility is a part of the reason someone's able to turn into a diamond is like are you willing to apply pressure. Yeah and are you willing to apply pressure when no one's looking when no one else is applying pressure when it's not when no one cares if you're going to do it or not because if you can't apply pressure yourself when no one cares are you going to be able to accept the pressure that you hold when people do expect it out of you. Yeah well it's not like once you dust off the diamond the diamond is clean you gotta keep it clean you know it's like there's no I I get frustrated even in this conversation I think this might land on some people some people not everyone where they hear it and they think okay I got to find my purpose like that's what the that's what the messages I just got to find my purpose and then I can be somebody and I I want to believe that I I was searching so hard high and low like what's my purpose man. And there is no such thing as finding your purpose it has to be revealed to you and the only way for it to be revealed to you is to put yourself out there. You've got to take risks and you got to fall flat on your face 1800 times before you reveal the purpose that you are meant to have and once you find it you will know like you go all in and even then it will evolve. I was just going to say that like even then it's going to evolve with you I also think though it's the it's the struggle if that's the word or it's the it is the challenge within the pursuit of whatever you think you're pursuing that is actually revealing to you the purpose that we forget is like actually showing us something and instead sometimes we can. Think that it means it's not for us but the reality is and so I think I've been saying this a lot to like in my classes and. In instructor training like one thing I want you to get out of turn up is to be able to coach yourself better like I want that to be something that you develop and practice in turn up not looking to the person over here to like die do like once you get it like okay let me coach myself on how to take this and. Do it my way but make it better and understand how to go bigger the fundamentals like take time to analyze myself and coach myself out loud and I think that that is how you if you're looking for an answer if you're looking like okay how do I be the best and what do I want to be the best at I think the answer is. Everything that you think that you're supposed to hide in the process is actually what is the dust that you're dusting off and you won't dust it off unless you allow it to exist and dust it off out loud because I think. Like whatever you think that you are supposed to look like doing the thing that you're doing you're not coaching yourself out loud enough to be able to like actually make an impact so like for example last night I was teaching class and I was like really really out of breath like it was like extreme and I had a heart. time talking. And I think a lot of people like cover up that they're tired. I went, are they're worried that they're going to be tired when they're teaching class? So they staffed themselves for even becoming an instructor. And I'm like, what dude? Like, and so as they're covering themselves up, they're also making themselves smaller. They're also not realizing the opportunity that's within that struggle for them to pursue the greatness that they're wanting. And like if you were to allow yourself to respond instead of deny, if you'd be so present that you're responding to that struggle out loud and alchemizing it or whatever it is, or just even acknowledging it and moving through it, then you would get to the place where you feel you need to get to. But instead we're denying these pieces that come up in the process. And I think we all do it. But like it's really easy to witness in a workout, you know? So I think that's something to pay attention to if you need like an action step. I guess. Yeah. And that reminds me of like just understanding, like, what do you want? Like, what do you, like, what do you go in after? Because it's like, you want to be the ultimate turnup instructor, yet you're not willing to look and appear tired. The ultimate turnup instructor doesn't do that. And I was listening to, or maybe I was reading, I can't remember, about the guy who owns shoot. I think it's Zach's piece. Okay. Like the fast food place. Yeah. And I think it, I think that's what it is. It's one of the chicken fingers places. And he, yeah, he created Zach's piece, which is extremely successful. And he has never sold the franchise. And he's been offered billions upon billions of offers of billions of dollars. Okay. The question that I have for you is because I want to tell you why he hasn't done this, but I want to ask you if someone were to knock on your door right now and say, "Tancy, I will buy turnup from you for millions, billions of dollars. Would you do it?" It's a really hard question. And it's not an immediate no for me because the answer of why I would is for someone to, it would have to be a contractual agreement that allow you. No, you don't get to be involved. They buy it and you have to go away. That's the order. Oh. You don't get to be involved. I, oh. I don't know. I would say I would do anything that would allow me to still teach turnup and do it to the max. And it's taking that away from me then. I would just start a new one. Exactly my point. And I think that, I mean, even you struggling to answer it is revealing in itself because anyone who's not as passionate about turnup would be like, "Yeah, give me the money." Like, absolutely no problem. This guy who owns X-bees, and again, I really hope it's X-bees. He refuses to sell even though he could be sitting on a beach, rich AF, no problems. But he literally believes to his core he has set out loud God put me on earth to make chicken fingers so that I could, you want to know what his mission is, so that I could bring people in to work at X-bees and give them help them earn a living and have good healthcare and have this and have that and learn the mission that is underlying here. She shouldn't want to know what that makes me want to do. Go to X-bees instead of somewhere else. So like, again, bringing it full circle. And that's not a problem. That's the thing though is it's like, it's not about the chicken fingers. Like, he's like, we're all out here trying to find our purpose, trying to find our purpose. It's actually, what are you, what are you so obsessed with that it's so fulfilling to you? Like, let's, let's remember, it doesn't, that doesn't make you selfish. It's so fulfilling to you, and you share it through a connection with other people. Like, you wouldn't give up turn-up, and if you did have to give up turn-up, you're teaching again tomorrow. You're not just going to, oh, sure, I'll give it up and I'll just do turn-up in my garage again with no connection to people. Like, the point of turn-up is for you to connect with people. You believe in it that much. That's why it's like, you, you study any of these people who have started businesses, and there's so many of them I've realized, because I've started studying this, started businesses, they become billion dollar franchises, and they refuse to sell. And then you ask them why it's fascinating. Like, this guy owns XBs, bro. Like, what? Yeah. I mean, at the same time though, like, my first, that was my first thought is like, you can have the name, and you still wouldn't have turn-up. That's, I'm like, that's how I feel. Like, you can't even take that from me if I sell it to you. Yeah. So now you're becoming offensive, which is another common thing, where it's like, a lot of these business owners, when they get asked, like, can I buy this from you? They literally respond with like, fuck you. Like, you have no idea what this is. You think you can just buy this from me and take over what I've done. Like, it becomes offensive, and that's exactly what you're saying. Like, you can have the name. You have no idea what this is. Yeah. But like, it's not even offensive. I'm just like, I'm not even, I'm not even, that's your, yeah. Like, you, you can buy turn-up. If even if I allowed that, I'd be like, here you go. Like, you still don't have it. And also, that's, it is what it is. Like, that's not offensive. But it's also like, I'm, I'm not here for the name turn-up. Like, the mission is what it is. Yeah. That's crazy. That's, yeah, interesting. Um, I, yeah, I think that that's the stuff that gets you through on like the hard parts of the journey, too, to where it's like, his mission is so strong in the bigger picture of it all. And sometimes when it's like, oh, I have 36 boxes of apparel in my fucking garage right now, bro. Like, how did what in the world and like the going all in on these little details about that and wanting to like, do it well. At the same time, it's, it can distract you from the mission of like, what I care about so much is, you know, what, that I could go on, and we don't even need to spend time on that. But like, also recognizing that every little thing impacts the world, I think. So it's like, even when you think it's just a class that you put on and you don't feel like you got the outcome that you thought you were supposed to get out of it, which might be income, it might be like, a certification, it might be, I wanted this to be my job or whatever it is. It's like, dude, I've witnessed so much, especially because of like, turn-up being a business that does this very like, in a way that's like obvious, I think, is like, by you being in your joy, in your love, in your, in your aliveness, you literally just change the trajectory of someone's life who is then going to go impact someone else's life, who is then going to go impact someone else's life. And you're over here worrying about whatever outcome that you thought it was supposed to be. Little did you know you changed the trajectory of someone's life that you don't even realize and probably weren't that. But what are you willing to like, accept as your thing that brings you, makes you alive and know that like, and yeah, not feel the need for the outcome or the title or the XYZ, I guess, or like, even the need to be the best, I think. It's like, you just become the best in the process of doing it. Yes, fully. Sheesh! Also, I feel like, I'm like trying not to breathe into my mic. And I think that I'm like, not breathing at all. And I'm worried that also my, my breath is so strong at the same time that it's like, coming through and it's not. I don't know. I understand. It's like, I haven't been focused on breathing this whole time. Wow. Do we need to take a deep breath? Yeah, you're just said and I felt great what else to begin. Are you breathing? I typically don't breathe. Mom and I have been doing this thing where, because she texted me recently and she's like, she's like, I realize that I don't take deep breaths. And so we've been texting each other like randomly, like, take a deep breath. Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. All right, well, you're right up so good stuff. Thanks for being here. We love you so much. Have the best day ever. Mwah-mwah. Ciao. Love you guys.