Snow Days

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to the Stractable. Listen, sir. Batty Bob brings the existential banter and talks, costy 20 inches while it's some way it sucks men with gaming news, converses crafty crafting, channels cipher, and fortifies his yard. Fresh-mopped mark declares Winnie-Witty Weaky gets ball-backed by Brit Sensors, replicant tested, and hallucinates, from six phone lines to exploding trees. Yeah! It's time for snow days. Now sit back and prepare to be destructed and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to my mom's second favorite podcast. That's right, you're listening to Distractable. And hopefully you're watching, honestly, because I think you all know how we feel about that, but if you're listening, I guess you're welcome to. My name is Bob, I'm going to be your host for today, because even though I don't remember how it happened, somehow I won the last episode, which was clearly deserved, and I was hilarious, so congratulations to me. Competing today on the episode will be the other two guys who are always here. The only other two guys who are always here, it's Mark and Wade. And I'm bald. Ha, err. Uh, I got a haircut. Oh yeah, see there's a little curl right here where you're hiding the receding hairline. Hmm, interesting, interesting. No, no, please. Oh, no hiding it now. I got a haircut for those listeners. Sound shorter. Yeah, there it is. Hey, come on, man. No, it's just your hair, you got a haircut. Come on, you're not rubbing your legs on the mic, are you? I mean, I could, I could, I could, but they feel real long, but it doesn't sound really long. You sound so much taller than you actually are. This is a sex phone line. Hey, can you rub the phone on your legs? I can go down that rabbit hole, but I feel like we'd be cancelled, so I'm not going to. Yeah, that would get us, that would get us cancelled. Oh, now my hair's all messed up, guys. Come on. It looks great. Well, Mark fixes his hair, let me remind you of the rules. That's, there's, I give points. It's arbitrary. Let's not pretend. I know we have rules. We have a costume. It's arbitrary. Okay, let's not. But also, there's some very strict rules, and whoever gets the most points wins, unless that's not what happens. And Mark already has one for sounding so, so short. It's your, your hair. Mark's hair. Fine, Mark's hair gets to point. Not Mark. Mark's not short. Just Mark's hair. You guys are so big. There we go. That's the one. It's all angles in mirrors, man. That's how I make my boobs look so big. I've been hiding an elephant this whole time. Really small, small elephant. Editor's, don't help them. Unless you have an elephant filter on your camera. Do they make those? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's called a Vtuber. You can like raise your hand and your thing. Never mind. It doesn't work. I blood do. What are you saying, Wade? There's like two jokes going on. I can't follow the funny. That, that, that, I'd look like an idiot. Never mind. (laughing) Maybe I think he was stupid instead of this. There's a. I don't think I've ever seen Wade bail on a joke before. I've never seen a joke. There's a feature. I thought that was here. It's not here, clearly. How are you guys? Let's do small talk. Man, final stretch. Yes, I guess. I mean, I've got nothing left to do, really. I was sitting around last night and I was just. Amy was laughing at me. Okay, let's be honest, Amy was laughing. But I was sitting around and being like, "I am bored." You'd think that I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm bored. I haven't been bored in a while, but I'm bored." I don't want to look at my small rectangle anymore. I want to get a tablet. Yeah, a big rectangle. That's what's up. No, it's a tablet. Oh, it's heavy. I don't want to hold it. Get a stand. Stand? They have stands. Yeah, for tablets, yeah. We have hands free. Could be like a big, long arm. Just holds it right front of you. Oh, that'd be cool. Okay, all right, I can do that. What about one of those? Have they made smart glasses yet that can project images into our eyeballs? Probably. They have flashlights that can do that. You just put a little cover over the light and turn it on. You know, like the projectors we had in school, they'd put the thing on and shine a light. It would like, project it. You just do that with a flashlight and shine it right into your retina. Sure. Sure. I know, but I'm just bored. Guys, I'm bored. I don't have anything to conquer. I've achieved all my goals. My dreams are good. What kid else can I do? Die, I guess. Oh, I've got something that'll suck you in. Die or suck? Welcome to Die or suck. That's right. Those are you two options. I mean, it depends on what we're sucking here. But, you know, it's compelling, I guess. All right, Wade, suck him in. I was out. I was out for a long time. But my friend Patrick sucked me back in. New gotcha game came out. And I hadn't been in the gotcha games for a while. I'd been out for quite a while. It was nice. But this one, I feel. I don't know if you guys played the Genshin type games. I never got super into Genshin. I was like, eh, it's okay, but whatever. I never played the original arc nights, but there's an arc nights and field that just came out. You know, like a 3D run-around explore. And the world's fun. I enjoy the story. I've enjoyed the world, the characters. Like, I've enjoyed it so far. It doesn't have the stupid little annoying sidekick who speaks for you, which I've definitely appreciated. I don't need one of those little fucking rabbits with a hat. It's like, hey, buddy. Let me tell you all the things you need to know. I'm your protagonist. Thankfully none of that. It's the character talks. It's crazy. It's a wild concept. I love it. But they mixed in factory building into the game. Like a satisfactory, factory, factory building. It's a little bit light, especially early on. Like, you know, it's not super complex. But like, there's some decent recipes. And I think that they're going to add more. But right now, I've got three factories going, getting me the stuff I need to craft gear and make some serious dough. So, and there's, I don't know what the word for this is, like a trading system where you can go in like, buy goods at a low price. And then on your friend's list, you can see who has like the best price to resell. So there's like a resell trading market to make money. So I've been into like, buying low, saving goods and selling high. Like, I've gotten into it. I'm not going to lie. What was the name of it called? Arc Nights End Field. You, before we hit record, do you mention this and I was like, nah, whatever. Arc Field. I went in deep. Like, the characters and the gotchas system, the combat and stuff's fine. It's fine. How much money are they trying? Like, do you have to pay to win? I mean, maybe to get like the best characters. But for all the other stuff, the stuff I really enjoy. I know. You can't actually spend money to get like, faster progression in the base building or the income earning and stuff like that. Like, it seems most of the money systems are just spent around getting characters and they, of course, they've like the weapons. So character and their weapon. I've got other packs that I'll give you some boost. But like, you can grind everything out. The monetization system really, to me, wasn't that bad. You know, it's funny about this, is I'm on the Arc Nights page. And I was looking at the art and the top. I was like, why does this look familiar? And then I looked over at my other tab with my news articles. And there's a big banner ad of that game right on the front of the chair. I'm like, I knew I saw it. I don't know if it heard you or something. But it's nice, nice, nice. I had a thought the other day about something. I didn't even say anything out loud. I think it was a restaurant. And then I was scrolling and immediately. It was like kind of obscure. And it just popped up and was like an ad for that too. And I was like, it doesn't even have to listen to me talk. It knows my thoughts. Simulations get real brazen with that. I think it's just a synchronicity. But it felt like mind reading. It's for the simulations for getting what it should and should not know. That can't tell the difference between thinking things and saying them out loud. It's just going to start to break down from here. We're in the end game, boys. In game, what do we die afterwards? Well, the real question is, which of us are parts of the simulation? And which of us are real? It does it have to only be one of us? Or could all of us potentially be? We can debate that to begin with. Because I'm still not decided on if this simulation has one person or if it's like the matrix, where it's like all the people are collectively in it. But also there's NPC. There's Simule. I don't know. I'd like to think I'm Neo, but I'm much more likely to be the bald guy in the first matrix who just wants to go back in to eat steak. Oh, you're not the bald guy. He's bad. He's not bad. His motivations of wanting a steak. I get it. He's kind of bad. He gives them up. He betrays. He just won a steak. Yeah. I learned a funny thing about that scene very recently that I'm surprised I'd never heard before. You know, apparently that guy does not like steak. And that whole scene he's supposed to be enjoying a very rare steak. And apparently he fucking hated it. And so they're shooting the scene. He's like, I know the steak is juicy and delicious. So I'm going to eat it now happily. Okay, all right. Maybe he's not so good because I don't know many people. Even vegans and vegetarians coming out of like being a vegan vegetarian eat steak and they cry from the the experience of it. But I guess there are probably some people that don't like steak. Okay, well, if we live in the matrix, then are all three of us real or is Mark an agent? Or what do we think? Why would I be an agent? Why do I gotta be an agent? I don't know. You just want to see if your body can take it. Well, that's not anything that the agent said. Or did? Mr. Anderson. I'm not a masochist. I remember that person. Tweet my nipples, but not in a weird way. What if you didn't have a mouth? Hmm, what if I didn't have a mouth? (laughing) Now do me, Mr. Andersen, now do me. It's the smell. (snoring) (laughing) He's actually, Neo actually was not that good of a fighter. Agent Smith was just like, ah, I want him to hit me. I want him to hit me, I'm gonna slow it down and let him get some shots in. I wanna see if my body can take it. He programmed himself testicles just so he could get kicked in the crash. (laughing) You know what a field look. (laughing) Mr. Andersen, Mr. Andersen. Wanna rewatch it knowing that he's a masochist and just like, seeing how different the vibes are? Well, I'm glad we decided that. Anyway, is that all the small talk, you guys? I mean, the only other thing is by the time this comes out, it will be the official release date of Iron Long, so that's pretty cool. Hey, that's true. Very excited, everyone gets to go see it and see what a fraud I am. Movie theaters everywhere can finally be like, it's already out, stop emailing us. I can't believe they just let me put my let's play of Iron Long in theaters like that. (laughing) That would be so funny. But just like one theater, one theater in random place just as a let's play. And that's it, it would be very funny. You just re-edit the whole let's play into like, a two hour video at the end. There's like a link that people can take a picture of that takes them to unlisted YouTube video that's actually your movie. Yes, I keep my movies at unlisted YouTube video. (laughing) The security in the world, you know. You know what I want to see is a, in it, what were those let's plays you did where you were like on the treadmill or in the ice bath? Oh, yeah, the impossible. Impossible, let's play Iron Long in the motion capture set, or not motion, the full motions set of the thing. And whatever happens in the game, the thing is like, that's still exists, right? They're not using that. That's right. I mean, I don't know. They probably trashed it after they were done with us. Probably like an expensive piece of machinery or something. I just got got because the UK film rating came out and I was like, oh, it's been, someone just says updated. It's like strong language, bloody images, threat, YouTubers, mild peril, blood, claustrophobia, loud noises, more blood, pagonophobia, fish, so much fucking blood, dumps care and nudity, and more blood. Like fish and YouTubers have to be acknowledged in the ratings? Yep, that's it. They're so silly over there. (laughs) I was warning, content creators are in this film. It's the middle of Iron Long, like, and subscribe, pops up. (laughs) Ah, but think of the engagement I would get so many subs. In the middle of the movie, like a Linus Tech Tips Segway, like, oh, no, Segway to our sponsor. Rich wallets. Oh, I would make a, I mean, they do product placement in a movie of it. I bet I could swing. I could sell out real hard. Mr. Anderson, I know I can take it. 'Cause I'm brought to you by Muscle Milk. The day's sponsor, Mr. Anderson. (laughs) The agents, if you see one, just run, you can't fight 'em. They're too fast. Like T-Mobile's 5G home internet. (laughs) Can we just make the movies as if they were YouTube videos? I wanna do this with so many different movies. You know that'd be a good episode. I do, huh? Watch it right that down. I should. You can do it next time. I want you to paint me like your French Curls. Wearing this, only this, brought to you by K-Juilers. Oh. I've never seen a K-Juilers sponsorship, doesn't it? Okay, I have a game that applies to two thirds of us. So everyone here is gonna have a really good time with it. The Wade and I live in Ohio. And a few days ago, before it all started, Wade and I were probably watching the news, or watching the weather reports on social media, whatever. And everyone was like, you're gonna get 20 inches of snow. It's gonna be the blizzard. And we were like, okay, so we're gonna get an inch of snow. That's fine. And they're like, no, no, no, it's gonna snow Saturday. And then Saturday came and it didn't snow at all. And we were like, yeah, I knew it. And then we woke up on Sunday with actually a foot or more of snow in our yards. And it made me think, I wanna talk about snow days. We could talk about snow day traditions. If you have any things that you really like to do, or your favorite snow days, I have a couple things. I think I have a couple stories, they're not very long stories, but I haven't told on this podcast, which is hard to find, of things that happened to me or I did on snow days that are like legendary memories for me. We all grew up where there's snow. So over the mark, it lives in a tropical paradise where it's 75 degrees every single day of the year. You know snow, you remember snow? Yes, yeah, I know snow, I know snow. But I can kick it off so you guys can have a second to think about your favorite snow days. I think my most legendary snow day of all time is growing up, the house that we lived in was, we were across the street from like a cul-de-sac. So there was a street across from our driveway, right? And so when it snows, what that means is the plows would take all the snow from that road in front of us and push it into our front yard, which was generally fine. Sometimes it would block our driveway, but there was one time where it snowed a lot, like comparable to what we got this past week, where it was like, I think we got a foot to a foot and a half a snow, it was a lot of snow. And they put such a huge pile of snow in our front yard that my friends and I dug it out into a snow fort. I did that too. Like four or five of us could fit inside the snow fort and it was awesome. Thinking back on it, it's a little bit of a miracle we didn't have any cave-ins and nobody got had to give rescue to or whatever, but like, I still remember what it felt like sitting inside that thing. And 'cause when you do, I don't know if it's the same for any glue, but when you make like a snow fort, when you're inside of it, especially multiple people, you start to sort of warm it up and you sort of melt the inside walls, but then they freeze over again and it turns it into like an icy crust to hold. I remember how it felt, what it looked like, what it tasted like, what it tasted like. Yeah, never mind that. I remember after a little while, it took us hours and hours to make it and then it was finished and we climbed inside and we were like, yeah! And then like 45 minutes later we were like, all right, this is kind of just like a cold room, isn't it? Who wants to go inside? But like that thing was fucking awesome. That was the best snow day. But that's my, I have a couple other ones. That's my most legendary snow day of all time. I'm jumping in, do it. All right, so I don't know if this is a real memory or not because it's going to be back. When I think back on snow days, right? This cannot be true. Like there's no way this is true. Me and my brother, I remember us being huddled around a radio listening for broadcast, but there's no way that's true. It's, but I picture like this big, like grandfather clock looking radio with the long slats and the glowing top and it's orange and you're, yeah, sure, sure. But in my head, it's radio. That was definitely when you and your brother were listening to the fireside chats. One of those like at your parent growing up in your house or at a, like at your grandparents house or friends house or anything is possible, but that doesn't mean it can't be real. There's a good shot that that did not actually happen. I'm telling you, man, I'm telling you, maybe I'm telling, I'm saying, maybe you'd ask your brother see if he has the same memory. He would say yes, just to make me seem. But so you were like huddled around trying to listen for school closings. Yeah, all of us, all 10 of us, sure. And the orphanage you grew up in, sure, sure. God, am I being implanted with someone else's memories right now? You've been pretending to be someone else for so long. You don't remember who you are. Wait, I think he's a replicant. I think we might need to do the test of your camera that zooms in on his eyeball. Did they ever explain what that test, nah, you know what? Just test me. Hit me. Brought to you by Apple. That was fun though. And honestly, we never had as many snow days as I wanted us to because I hated walking to school in the snow and I had to walk to school for elementary school. But sitting and staring at the news and not even registering what the news people were saying and just being like, uh huh, uh huh, uh. It'll come around again, maybe the next time. There were always the same schools that you never heard of except for whenever you were watching the school day tracker. And it's like, oh yeah, where were those schools? Oh, like Jack and Dell is closed again. I don't even know what that is. Why are they closed? They're always closed. They ever have school. Dave's daycare that he keeps in his basement closed. Dave's upstairs daycare, two hour delay. There were also two different versions of me to start the snow day. There was the you wake up. Well, sometimes you knew the night before if you have the day off. And it's like, oh, turn that alarm off. Sometimes I'd leave the alarm on. Just to wake up and be like, it's a snow day and turn it off. Go back to sleep. It's wrong with you. I was a psychopath back then. I don't know. Yeah. Freak. Freak. Even I was used to getting up early. So there were times where you'd wake up. Like go to see if you have a snow day. And then like you'd see if you have a snow day. And later I would like, I don't want back to bed. I was a little bit younger. It was like, I couldn't go back to bed. But I don't want to waste my snow day. I've got all day for this snow day. But those those two hour. Delay days were so weird because everything was compressed like I forgot about the delays. It was just like every class, but faster. You have 20 minutes go that must I've never thought about it ever until just now. That must have been such a pain in the ass for the teachers. Oh God. Teachers have they have a lesson plan. They're like, all right. I got a 55 minute period or whatever. Every single minute is like, okay, and we'll get this all in and raise the bell rings. I'll be like, and thank have a good one by and then it's like, all right, too hard to lay. You have 38 minutes. What are you teaching them? Some of this probably wasn't important. Was it the question? Yeah, I don't know. That would have been awful though for they deserve it. We're a distract will hate teachers take that nerds. That's us mark Bob and me Tyler. We hate teacher. Hey, Tyler, how's it been you the whole time? Love sports. He does say that a lot. We took Tyler up for his birthday and we went and this is not related. Why am I jumping off on a tangent? Was it a snowy day? No, it wasn't a snowy day. I'll allow it tangent away. Okay. All right. So he wanted duck. You know, Tyler, he has his whimsy, he wanted he loves ducks. He heard that this place had ducks. So we go to this place. It has duck, right? I've never heard him talk about duck before in my life. Okay. This is new Tyler. So it was fine. It was good. I liked it. It was smoked duck. I don't I haven't had duck. I don't know if I've ever had duck actually, but it was it tasted like a ham bird. It was like a bird made of ham. What kind of was this like a French restaurant? What kind of. No, Korean. It was a Korean plate and it was a smoked duck and it was just a huge plate of it and it's like already cooked, but then you stick it in the fire after you've been cooking all the other meats because of Korean barbecue kind of place. It was great. It was fantastic. And then we kept being like as soon as the duck came out, we were like full, but then we just kept pounding it. And then John's car got locked in the garage next door and we couldn't get it out. We could back to the restaurant owner. He's like, Oh, big problem, big problem. Oh, look to his phone for like five minutes. He's like a thousand numbers and no names. I'm looking at his phone too. He's like numbers in his context, but no names, he's like, uh, yeah, calls, oh, he's in Arcadia. He's like an hour and a half away and we go, whoa, wait, okay, I guess we could go to a coffee shop or something. He's like 99% people. No wait. Okay, I guess we'll come back tomorrow. He's like, oh, good. Anyway, so that car, John's car got a look there. Anyway, that's my story. And then we bought him furniture. John or Tyler? Tyler. You know, Tyler, Tyler, we got Tyler is set their couple name. Well, it's because, all right. Maybe we're being a little mean, but we were in, we were in Tyler's place and it he hasn't gotten anything new since he moved in. It's gonna be mean, but I'm gonna say it anyway. We said it looked like a, if he brought a girl over, it would look like a serial killer left there because bare walls, pure white, super modern, there's like a fold out plastic table in the front. This makes it sound bad. It's on the floor plastic down everywhere, chain saw on the table. That's what we were, there was plastic, it was a lot of plastic. It's nice and instrument to range just so on the counter. Yeah, so we got, we take the home goods and I, we'd start grabbing random shit off the shelves. Like we filled two shopping carts plus holding like a lamp and like paintings are like, we're gonna fill this place up. It was like we grabbed a handful of knickknacks and chucked it in there. It didn't look any different like it was not that we had, we had everything was set up. We're like, all right, the posters, I got these jars, a decorative olives and artichokes and shit. You don't have to eat them. You just put them in your kitchen. They'll think you're fancy and and it looked like nothing happened in there. Two shop. I loaded my truck up with stuff. Anyway. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Hey, by the time he turns 40, you're gonna have a perfect wall. We got ice cream afterwards. That's how snow relates. Did you go to that cool, that cool place? What's it called? Honeycomb? What's that come? We went to Baskin Robbins. Oh, okay. So not the cool place. Yeah. We went to Bob's. Right. There was a place we went. That was good. Yeah, I remember that place. Yeah, I do. It's the one Ethan can go to because they don't use knots or something. It was near one of the theaters we went to to watch improv, right? Yes. Man, I can't remember what it was called. We met. You hyped it up and it lived up to it. Thanks, Mark. Man, good, good. I brought. I did that. Okay. Huddled around radio. Got it. Wait, snow day stuff. So, mind similar to yours, Bob, but I didn't have like a roof. We built a big walled fort, but we built it to play army. We had like toy guns and stuff. We used to play army. We didn't have any like snow colored fatigues, but we did have like normal army fatigues. So we would dress up in our normal army fatigues running around this snow fort that we built. In our version of army was basically like, you see when you like got you, like, no, I got you for it. And you argue that one of you would win and you would capture the person and like take them back to your base. Then people had to come rescue them. I don't know or understand how the rules works, but as kids, they made total sense. But we build up these huge walls that we had like, you had to go through the first walls and around the other way. They weren't that tall. You could probably hop over them, but we honored them as if they were fortress 30 foot high walls. Was there someone's like yard or was this in like a wooded area? My grandparents yard is my grandparents yard because we used to play the, we lived two houses away from our neighbor that we played with and the neighbor in the middle didn't care. So it was like us neighbor not involved friend neighbor not involved. They had like a fence then backyard. We didn't go in that, but the rest of their yard, we were allowed to play in. So that was our full battle ground where our three yards combined minus the neighbors backyard. And you had army fatigues that we said like, yeah, yeah. There was like an army clothing store that we would go to as kids. And we got like kids size, yeah, for all those army kids they have green and brown and light brown and slightly darker shade of green army colored clothing. Yeah. And we ran around playing army who were like 10 sounds fun. One of our friends was super into it. Like we all were into it, but like he would like in the fall, bury himself and leaves have nothing, but like a little sight line for his scope so he could see out or he could hide under people's vehicles or like we never knew where he was. Was I when I was playing with him when he was doing this or he just do this just to send it up and then see if he could catch you? We were all playing, but we had a theory that he was always out there hiding somewhere ready for the next game. That's comforting. He's probably still there now under someone's truck waiting for us to emerge. Yeah, that's the one I remember was that and some sledding trips. Yeah, I that's that was one of the other members I have is I did not live near a good sledding hill and we always ended up going somewhere either really disappointing to go sled or really really dangerous and there was no in between and one year in particular, we decided it was like an icy snow. So there's a lot of hard pack ice or whatever like and we had a friend who had a really long really steep driveway so instead of going to find snow on top of grass or something, we're like, let's just do the driveway. It'd be fine. He lives at the end of a street like there won't be traffic and I got and I tried to do the old hold your slide up on your chest, run, jump, go get, you know, maximum speed and it was icy and the sled stuck to the ice and pulled my chest backwards and my face down and I slid down his whole driveway. I think exclusively on my nose. And so then for the next few months, my whole nose was just absolutely fucked. Like it was my entire nose was just scabs and like my face had like some scab scratches at scab but like my nose, I he lived a couple blocks away. So we did this and I stood up and I was like bleeding profusely and I was just like I got I guess I got to go home and I like walked home face dripping blood and walked in the house to my dad, it was like, help, he was like, what the fuck, you were going sledding. Oh my God. So yeah, that was my sled. We did you guys live near like a good a hill? Man, he always talks about growing up. They lived your hell of a sledding hill that was like, awesome. I had a hill and I'm pretty sure we were allowed to sled on it, but it was one of those hills where it was someone's house was up there and technically it's on their property. We would like go there in the summer and we'd roll our red wagon down with the sides off for speed and then I don't think we owned a sled. So we brought the wagon at in the snow and we would come in the wagon, which is functionally the same and I know that there's no difference, but it felt like sledding, right? So it was different and I can I never knew if we actually had permission or not. No one ever came on yelled at us, but I have distinct memories much like the radio that people did yell at us, but I don't think anyone actually yelled at us because we're all so other kids occasionally, especially during the winter that were on this hill, but I had this sneaking suspicion that we were not supposed to be there the entire time. So I never really had fun. So I'd always tell my brother, we need to leave. We got to go. We're going to get in trouble. We're going to die. And then that was pretty much that was the worst problem. How is the worst? I only ever got yelled at by neighbors and I tried to build a tree house in their yard. What's the one time I ever got yelled at by neighbors? You built a tree house and someone else's yard? Treehouse is a strong word. We brought a bunch of like sticks and limbs into the like from our families garbage piles and we were like, we could build our own tree fort in these piles. Pine trees. Why wouldn't that be okay? Let's do it. So we just started dragging a bunch of sticks and limbs and like putting them in wagons like you were talking like other shit and we literally just drove like in the middle of this street. So we lived on the the opposite Into the street we went to the middle of the street this neighborhood a line of pine trees because they wanted like their privacy We were like, no, this is for our tree for it. And so they looked outside just saw a bunch of kids bringing shit into their yard and like climbing in their pine trees. And they weren't very happy about it. I mean, I don't see why maybe they're bunch of assholes. Sounds like they're a problem to answer the sledding question, though. Uh, I did not have a good hill. What was that park? Um, mark the park that we played football. It wasn't Miami meadows and Milford. It was the other one. Huh. I don't know the names of parks. You think I know the names of parks? What parks? She I don't I don't know one name. Anyway, there's a park in Milford that had like a good hill. But the problem with it was that if it was too good of conditions, it ended in a creek. So if you went down the hill, yeah, I know. Yeah. Uh, I can't remember the name of it, but we used to play football when we were older, but as kids, we would go to that hill and it was relatively busy. So sometimes you'd like take turns with other kids. It was always a bit scary because if you had a really good run on the sled, you were getting or the letter, whatever the word is, uh, to inner tube, we brought sometimes you would end up right on the edge of that creek. And it was not like a small fall when you were a kid. It was a, if you went down, you were, you were dropping a little bit. That's like you should just always ride the inner tube. Then you're ready for the creek. Things never work out as the way they think they will in your head. Like you with the nose, like you, you run and jump on the sled. You think you're going, sometimes you have too much momentum and you just slide off of the sled, then you're just tumbling down the hill and your sled comes behind you and hits you in the back. Things just never quite go the way they're supposed to in your mind when you're sledding. I mean, what do you really think? Because all I'm thinking is weed or, uh, and then I crash and die. I was a panicky kid. So I was always thinking of what happens if things go wrong. I was a panicky kid too. I was always like, oh, we can't be here. Are we going to sneak out even on the sled? I was like, what if someone else's foot comes flying down to hit me in the face? So I would like land and like duck and cover for a second till I knew it was safe. Like just the foot, like you chucked a grenade behind you and I don't know, man, I weird ran. I'm fearful thoughts. Well, I mean, that's for the best. You know, now that was on a snow day. That was a skiing. That doesn't qualify. There's no one skiing. That's close. It was water skiing. Insane. I've ever gone water skiing. Have you gone water skiing? Never done it. No, my family did. But I always just rode the tube. I like the tube. Like every person like my parents age, I've ever talked to about water skiing. They're like, uh, water skiing is great. Uh, we used to do that when we were kids. Yeah. So my buddy had a boat or whatever and they'd always ends with, yeah. And this one time they were like doing sharp turns and whipping me around. And they whipped me right into a dock. And I hit a metal bowl face first at 35 miles an hour. I can't believe I'm alive. Like I swear to God, my dad and Mandy's dad and a couple of my uncles all have the exact same story. And every time they tell it, I'm like, okay, don't go water skiing. Got it. Yeah. There were some scary moments watching my dad and other people be pulled behind because, uh, down in Lake Cumberland, it's really rocky and cliffy around the edge of the water bank. So watching them like be whipped around toward the rocks. If they had let go or gone flying, they would have landed like just in a pile of giant sharp rocks. It'd probably be dead. Maybe that's why I didn't do it. Cause again, I was a terrified kid. Yeah. Tube was the same thing though. If you go flying off on the tube, you could very easily end up here. Those videos of like inner tubes with like five kids on them on a windy stretch, where the thing just goes and turns into a kite. And then the kids just launch into the air like, it looks kind of fun. But that would be so terrifying. Is this what it means to get older when we just don't have any childhood wonder and fearlessness in our soul? Just afraid of everything fear. Pennywise was an idiot. He should have gone through adults. We're so much more scared as adults, like tax season. Pennywise popping up like, he a puppy got some taxes and you booby booby. I'm afraid. I think the other thing that I thought of when I was thinking about the snow day, there was one year. Well, there's one time when we were in cop. I think maybe around the time we would have been seniors in high school. There was like a really bad ice storm. And I remember this because I had my audition at UC. We drove down and I was supposed to play my instrument to audition to get into music school on the day when there was like a half inch of ice all over everything and they shut the campus down and it was crazy. But there's a time when we were younger, like elementary school, where a similar thing happened. It snowed a couple inches and then there was a solid, like maybe almost half inch of ice on top of it. And they fucking my district didn't close the schools. And I had to walk to school on top of ice. Like I literally have a memory of like going out down the driveway, kind of slipping sliding down the driveway and then stumbling along the sidewalk on ice. And it was so bad that a neighbor was driving their kid to school and saw me and was like, do you want to ride? Are you okay? And I was like, I'm good. No, almost there. Like I, because you're not supposed to get in the car with strangers and I knew that. But it's just fuck, I, I, the whole walk there to school. I was like, how the fuck is school not close today? What is this bullshit? What do you guys remember that or is that more? I don't know, but you seem to have turned into an old man and that's like, I was very grumpy as a child when I was in third grade. I was basically already 70 years old and then I DH a little bit and now I'm where I am now. I was lucky. I never had to walk to school, but I never really had to deal with that aspect. So I don't remember the, that specifically when we were younger. I remember the one when we were in high school. I don't remember the one when we were younger with the ice. No, I don't remember that either. Well, never mind. You get all the way to the school and the school's up a hill and it's all ice and you just can't get there. And then you get in trouble for missing. It was up a slight hill. Somehow it was literally uphill both ways. Is that not? It sounds like I'm doing it. It was, it wasn't uphill the whole way both ways, but there was a hill. You know, what would have been cool is if there was like a snow day, but there was a new category where it's like if you can make it show up because I always thought that it would be fun as a kid. Like if I, because when I was in junior high, I could walk to school. I walked just through these little woods and, and right to school. But it would be super cool if you showed up and all the teachers were there and they expected to teach it. But you were like the only person. You're like the only kid. You got like extra credit or something? Like what's the reward? No, no, no, everyone else fails. You just get your credit. Just to see if your body can take it. No, there's nothing to my body that's taking it. I'm just at school. Okay. No, there's nothing bad to get into about this. Is it just you and your teacher or just you? There's a teacher and whoever actually made it. Everyone else is frozen outside in a ditch and I'm, I'm, I made it because there's a horror movie that came out not too long ago called Weapons and one of the earlier scenes is a kid showing up to class. And he's the only student in his class that shows up just him and the teacher. So that's what we think of it. But it's a very different scenario there than just a snow day because all the other kids are missing. When you said other types of snow days, I thought you were talking about like how they have like exploding tree warnings in the plain states because of how cold it's been. I want to see a video of that. But all I get are the AI videos of exploding trees, which is like as if someone put a debt cord on it. The guy running was like, you're saying those aren't real? Oh, well, they're real to somebody. There must be videos of it. I swear I've seen a video. It wasn't like a super dramatic one. I swear I've seen a video of a tree just like at part of it popping off. I think it was real. If it wasn't real, it was the most boring thing anyone's ever used AI to generate. Maybe that's a good, good, a good competition who can make the most boring AI video possible. What would it be? Let's all sign up and start to find out. Let's crank out those AI videos. Let's start generating. It should take over 70,000 prompts to make this three second clip. I know what it'll be. YouTube is allowing us to make shorts using AI, making images of our own lightnesses. So I'll just make a short of one of my own videos. I'm glad I consented to that program. I haven't heard of that. Is that a thing? Yeah, six days ago, there was an announcement that YouTube will soon let creators make shorts with their own AI likeness. Oh, good. That's probably fine. It's what people want, right? That's people are just screaming for it. Everybody wants that. I haven't heard anyone say anything different. Oh, man, this article is so funny. Okay, Mohan is at the CEO, yeah, Neil Moan, who I have not met. And I don't know if I've ever had a chance. Today, once odd trends like ASMR and watching other people play video games are mainstream hits, the fuck odd trends. Yeah, super weird of people play watching people play video at this. It was never weird. Even Jimmy Kimmel admitted off camera when he wasn't being his dumb persona, sorry, Jimmy. I like all the self-sensoring you did there. No, seriously, Jimmy and Jimmy Kimmel off camera was like, no, I totally get it. It's totally fine. And then on camera, like, why are you playing video games and people watch? I'm like, what are you doing, man? What the hell is happening? What happened to you? Yeah, so it's very strange, but it's not odd. It was perfectly normal. Then it's fairly normal now. Why am I catching it's crazier? Anyway, AI content now. If only there were some organization that existed to try and fight against these things. Now, they must be corrupt and building their own language model. Probably look forward to real good AI's chatbot coming out soon. I bet it's really good how much - Which water do I need to give? - Oh, minimal. - Minimal, I want to be maximal, I want to be more. - Oh, turn it up. That's not what real good it does. Just to be clear, many would kill me if I made that joke 'cause people would definitely, anyway, snow days. - Love them. - They're way harder as a parent. I will say that I never appreciated that it was such a pain in my parents' ass to have a snow day, but I shoveled a lot of snow and we're trapped inside with James and there's only so much you could do inside a house when you can't ever leave for any reason. And you can't do any of your things that involve going outdoors, even at all almost. It's been so freaking cold that we couldn't even really go play in the snow for very long or else his face would freeze off or something, probably. - And he's still got to go to work sometimes. I mean, if you wouldn't understand Bob, but some parents have real jobs and they got to go to work. - Yeah, once odd trends like content creation don't count. (laughs) - Yeah, here's not about that either. I don't recall my mom ever not going to work on a snow day. Like I don't know that we ever had one that was so bad where she was like risking her life going out, but she was never like, "Ah, it says snow." She was like, "Ah, I gotta go to the fucking work "at eight in the morning, see ya." And then my dad was like, "Well, I do with these assholes." (laughs) Get out of here, go to school or something, God. - But then we just played video games and I didn't talk to him for the entire day, so he's probably fine. That's the end. - No! - Make sure listeners and viewers you go to the subreddit and share all your favorite snow day stories also. It's not worth any points or anything and we won't read them. But someone might let's sum up the scores. Mark, oh, I didn't realize I wrote it like that. Mark's hair earned points for, I'm gonna say that counts as you. You're currently represented by your hair, but this is Mark's points in general. Mark earned points for sounding short, being bored. I don't know what this means. - Mr. Reindersen. - Oh, is it being kicked in the balls? - Oh, kicked in the nuts, right. Radio hallucinations, they deserve it for teachers, your illegal sledding and oh, chubathy. - My illegal sledding? How do you know about that? - His body can take it. - Your sledding is totally legal, but the sledding on that hill in that person's yard, very criminal. - What if you sled it while you sled it? Would they cancel out? - Sled, sled, sled, sled, sled. I feel like those are different things. - Slud. - Oh, sorry. - Sludding. - Mark, you've got seven points. Wait, you earned points for, there was, oh, for the joke, you completely abandoned for the first time of your entire life. You didn't commit to it a bit. For Pat sucking you back in. For telling us about Arknight, which I already downloaded out of my phone during this episode. - Oh, some of your friend code. - Leaving the alarm on like an absolute psychopath for your fun sounding snow army games with your friends and for building your pine tree fort in someone else's yard for some fucking reason. - Yeah, neighbors did not like that. - That earned you six points. - Oh, one minute show, opportunity. - Every time it is, but not this time. - I gotta really be more biased moving forward and points to make sure one of you just dominates. - Mark, great episode. You have two points. - Oh, right. Bob, you had 500. It's so weird, that's been the wheel. - Oh, mystical wheel. How many things better we could have spent? Please make it an even number. - Oh, shoot, I'm gonna talk about what I want to add. I don't get to add. All bad. - You know what, Wade? Just frauds three. - Okay, just for you, Wade. I'll add whatever you want, Wade. What do you want to add to the wheel for me? - Oh, I want whatever Mark's hair wants. - Oh, what do you want, hair? - Wash me for what's in your fucking life, man. Wash me. - Hey, come on. - Ah, most recently washed hair. On the road. - All right, okay. - All right, that one's not gonna make any sense when it comes up three months from now. - Well, I haven't showered today. I showered yesterday. - I mean, it's not confusing. We're just gonna be like, why did we add that? But who cares why we added that? Anyway, three spins it is. - It's so small, I can't see it. - Don't worry, you'll see it once it stops. Hardest thinker. I don't. - Look at my face right now, I'm thinking so hard. - Oh, Wade, can you think any harder than that? Where is that? - This is the hardest I've had to think so far. I mean, the most I could think of is Mark trying to remember if his radio was real or not. - I'm thinking so hard. - All right, Wade called it. Hardest thinker goes to Mark. - Thank you. Ow, actually. I don't know of any other moment that was so thought. - No brain aneurysms this episode, boys. Speed number two. (dramatic music) - That's the point for Wade, don't run. - Don't call it a back, come, call it a comeback. Or don't do that either. - I'm not gonna do any of that. - Okay. - Hey, and that saves me from the one-man show, except possibly if I spin the one-man show. - Oh, man. - Okay, most callbacks. - Wade did a callback of my joke at one time. At one time. (laughs) One time I did. We didn't really call back to Mr. Anders, that was all just one bit. - Mark handed it to you, and since it's pretty ear material either way. - I'll take it. - Wade gets most callbacks. - That means I win. - Final score is Mark with eight, and Wade with seven and one-half points. - Aw, I thought I clipped it by half a point. That's what I call back, come. - Damn it. - Congratulations to Mark, and a slightly less congratulations to Wade. But you survived? That's pretty good. - Still here. - You're still here? Wade, lose your speech. - I don't like snow anymore. As an adult, it's less fun. Shuffling, trying to make space for the dogs to go take a shit, trying to figure out how we're leaving the driveway. It's just not as fun. I imagine being a parent, stressful. Snow is the kid, best thing ever. I wanna go back. I wanna go back. - Sad, good loser speech. Mark, winner speech. - It's shocking that the guy who lives in a place and never gets snow won the snow day episode. I think that just shows how much I am committed to winning every game that I am participating in. I give it my all, and I will always give it my my. So thank you everybody for giving me my my, and you my all. - You're welcome, and, or congratulations. That's gonna be the end of the episode. Mark's gonna host the next one, 'cause he is just the best of us. Who said being short was a disadvantage. Thanks so much for participating. Sorry, I threw another short joke. That was honestly gratuitous, and I didn't need to do that. I don't, I call it dessert. I had never seen, I've seen you eat dessert before. You've never eaten it like that. If you could stop living a lie. - You know, whenever we did the baby food challenge with Jesse, there's a clip of me doing that, and you made me a baby, or still whoever edited, made me a baby. - Oh, well, that's still not dessert, so what? - Make sure you check out Morgan Mark Plier, Wade at Lordminion77 or Minion777, and I am my screen. Check out the merch, startable.shop. As of right now today, there should be new merch on it. You can check it out, it's a Valentine's Day stuff you should look at it. - Woohoo! - Good shirt, good design. - Mark's gonna host the next one. We're out of here, like we always say. Podcast out. - Oh, and Iron Lung in theaters now. - Oh yeah, no, that's a pretty good thing. Ah, we don't have to talk about that. - Yeah, whatever it is, all right. - No, yeah, if you're listening to this, you better already have tickets. If you're listening to this, you better have tickets. What do you do with your life? This is basically a podcast that's one third been about the production of Iron Lung. - Actually, yeah, that's pretty true. - One third lenses, one third baby, one third Iron Lung. - And weights here too. Podcast out. For real this time, go watch Iron Lung. Ah, if I said it after I said podcast out, it doesn't even count. - Watch new episodes on Spotify.