Smoke Signal Breakup w/ Sam Morril

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And, um, can I say this too? Okay. Um, this strap right here. Yeah, it's not supposed to be over your other eye. is covered close to the other eye. Right. You know? So, like, I can't see at all. Take it off, pirate boy. The hat is good looking. I actually could see you rocking that in real life. Really? Yeah, it looks good. You think I look good? A little Asian cowboy. How you doing, man? Good to be here, man, at this rally. Happy Halloween. Happy Spooky. Spooky season. Rudy Jules is here. Happy Halloween. Hello, Happy. We haven't seen you in so long. Yeah. How are you? I'm good. What's going on, man? Um, school. Yeah? How many years of school are you going to be in? 15 years. You're still going to be in school, huh? Yeah. She doesn't absorb information like normal people. How do you absorb information? I don't. I listen and it just goes from one year out. The other, yeah. It's the American way. So, I've been plugging up the other year. You've been corking it? Yeah, I've been putting wax in there already there so that the information stays in the ear. You're taking wax out of your ear and putting in her ear? Yeah, my own ear wax. What school are you in now? What are you getting, your doctorate? Masters. Whoa. Master. Whoa, whoa, we don't use that word anymore. No, no, master. We don't use that word anymore. Okay, all right. You're not getting your master's, you're getting your accelerated degree. We don't say master's anymore, guys. Why? What, that's not a thing now? It's racist. It is? Oh, like. We can't say master bedroom anymore? You're making fun of E-Man. That's right. Master of the universe. Right. That's right. Right? When you say master, it means E-Man. He gets mad. And Skeletor for some reason. You know what I mean? But, you know, he's, anyway, let's move on. Let's respect the power of the graceful. Respect it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what E-Man is? No clue. You don't know what a E-Man is? What's E-Man? Well, first of all, it's sexist. Yeah, yeah. He-Man. Yeah. He's a very muscly guy. He's been using pronouns since the 80s. A little redundant, wouldn't you think? Yeah. Really good joke, man. What are you, a hazmat suit? What's going on here? Back rooms. Back rooms. Oh, back rooms. We're doing the back rooms. I'm the black. You're the black pirate. Pirate. Yeah. And I'm from Obsession. Oh, that's cool. This is Bear Sweater. Oh, that's cool, man. Look at that picture of E-Man. It's kind of crazy. It'd be funny if he had, if they really wanted to be progressive, they'd have E-Man like that, but then he talks like this. Get over here, Skeletor. Yeah. Skeletor, you better cut it out. Yeah. Look at my big sword. God, look what he's wearing. Look at how short those shorts are, dude. They're awesome. I've met that exact same guy. I know, me too. Open mic night. The manhole. Yeah, yeah. On Santa Monica. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah. Sundays at open mics, I've seen him. Oh, he opened me up. Hard to follow with that sword. Big sword. It's a big closer. Because he does lightning. When he performs, he does the lightning thing. It's that fucking thing. It's hacky. Right? And it's also, you can't use supernatural abilities on your stand. Right? We've talked to him before. We've talked to that, but he just won't listen. Yeah, no more of the E-Man shh, right? And that skeleton thing. E-Man. Get Skeletor out of here. Get Skeletor out of there, man. It's so annoying. It's so annoying, dude. Rudy, what's going on, though? You're in school now. You're getting your master's degree. Careful. Yeah. I started Lexapro, and then. We love a Lexapro queen. So, I've been smoking cigarettes again, and I keep buying the cigarettes, and she refused. No, no, no. I'm not done talking to. No, no, no. I'm not talking to. I'm not talking to. I keep talking. I know your story is incorrect. It's not incorrect, dude. It's from a pure truth point of view. You don't have proof. I have. My observational skills is the proof. I see. Can I just finish what I want to say, little one? Go. May I? Yeah, for the sake of the podcast, let's not talk over each other the whole time. Go ahead. Thank you so much for that. Yeah. Yeah. Someone's got to do it. You're like a debate moderator. I am a moderator. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Lee, go ahead. So, what I'm saying is that I spend my whole life on this. I spend my whole life on this. Hard-earned cash. Hard-earned is a. What do you mean? It's earned. Yeah. Yeah. How hard it was. Is it easier? I think your cash is easier-earned cash. Yeah, yeah. I'm easier-earned. Yeah. So, with my easier-earned cash. You know, I go to, you know what I mean, the business in which they sell the cigarette item. 7-Eleven, yeah. I want to say it fancier. We love 7-Eleven. Yeah. And I keep buying it. I keep buying them, and then she keeps smoking them, but I'm the one that's. What? You keep finishing them. You don't finish them? No. Every time I buy a new one, in one day, everything is out. Oh, so you're thieving her cigarettes. No, we share. We share. This is very pirate-like, whatever you're doing. Dude, that's why I'm wearing it. I get it. Yeah. What kind of cigarettes do you smoke? And you smoke those American Spirit yellows? Yeah, we do. And do you smoke the same ones? Yeah, he doesn't like any other color, so it has to be yellow. I mean, it does align. What do you mean? Keep the yellow yellow. I mean, the fans will take it from here. I feel like it's. Yeah. In fact, you guys, your bodies look like mine. He walks into the gas station, and he's like, I'm going to get a pack of cigarettes. The guy's like, yellow. Let me guess, yellow. Yeah, so we do the yellows. Yeah, yellows are good. They're the best, yeah. So anyway, can you start supplying some? I do, and yesterday I got so mad at him, because he. He's so inconsiderate, and he just finishes it, and then he yells at me when it's empty. Well, why can't you guys just get a carton? If you're going to keep smoking, just get a carton. Yeah, you're right. I'll get a carton. Bulk buy. I'll bulk buy it. You're right. Let's move on, but we'll bulk buy. They sell bulk cigarettes at Costco? They should. They do, yeah. So I'll get a carton. Gas station. I don't think it's a good idea, because aren't you trying to stop, too? Yeah, dude, he's really working on stopping. No, he is in the. He's in the throes of smoking again. Isn't that true? Yeah. Yeah, he's deep in it. I don't like that you're smoking. I got to tell you, as your tito, I don't like that you're smoking. Yeah. I don't smoke as often. What is that? That has nothing to do with it. You're still smoking. Do you smoke, like, the grudge? The grudge? Yeah, I'll tell you why. What? It's grudge-like behavior. What are you saying? I'll tell you what, okay? Because I've seen the movies. You know, I've lived the fucking experience. Of the grudge, all right? And what I'm saying is, is that I look out in the patio, okay? I see your disturbing, horrific hair. You don't move, and you have your black hair. Oh, the grudge smoke. The grudge smoke. Yeah, I've seen it. You've seen it. It scares the shit out of me. Do this for a second. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. That's her. That's you smoking. That's you, dude, smoking. Now, when you smoke, are you at least doing something creative or productive? No, she's just doing that face. Anyway, back room, do you see it? No. Okay. I heard it's bad. Well, you're in one right now. Yeah, look behind you. You're in the back room. Now, I didn't see it either, so I'm kind of out of context about it. Yeah. What do you think, Andreas, that you're the film guy? I thought it was pretty good. People loved it. It was. You loved it. It was okay. I saw it three times, yeah. You saw it three times? In theaters? No, so I could read the captions and really understand - How do you understand it's a room in the back? Is it in a different language? I need to know, like, oh, there's a water room, the Christmas room. Yeah. Is it in a foreign language? No, but I can't, I'm not getting everything the first time. I need to watch things like two or three times. Man, that hair transplant went all the way in, huh? Right into the- It's getting to the skull. Yeah. Into the brain. Yeah, the cortex. Right into the cortex, dude. It's good the third time. Yeah. It's an okay movie. I saw Hope Again, which is that Korean, yeah. Did you have on captions? Closed captioning? I do. Yeah. I don't know Korean that well. You do. Yes, you do. Whenever I hear you speak to your mom, you're very fluent. Yeah. Why do you turn that on and turn that off with your mom, but with other people you can't? Is it just because of the words she uses, you know? She does basic Korean. Like, I have to go to the bathroom. Even worse. Me bathroom. It's even worse. Bathroom. Yeah. It's pretty much bathroom. It's like bathroom. She'll say this. Okay. Give me a direct translation. I'll give you a direct translation. She'll go, um, um, 밥 먹어? Oh, yeah, 밥 먹어. Yeah, 밥 먹어. Um, 변소 어디서, um, um, 동냄새 나. Oh, Bush did 9-11. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, because the building's the way they said it. It's not supposed to stack like that. She's like, she's like, 방영고 아금 사고 담아. Which translates to, uh, jet fuel doesn't melt steel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what it means. Exactly, dude. Do you speak any Korean now that you're around him enough? Can you understand any of it? He never speaks Korean. Why don't you speak it around the house? That's how language continues. Well, I mean, they speak their language, which is fucking off-putting sometimes. How? Like, there's like a noise that I've never heard before. And you're like, okay. Don't I say speak English? Yeah. Yeah, because they speak that little, you know, to each other. Yeah. Well, who's at the house now? My mom. Oh, my sweetheart. Yeah, honey. The love of my life. Yeah, she's there. When is she coming back on the show? No, she's scared. Why? Doesn't she love me? We saw a movie together. She wanted it to be a private date. What movie did we watch? We went to Odyssey. Oh, that's right. We saw that together. By the way, somebody had an aerial shot. You can still see the boat, I guess, on the universal back lot, that they still have the boat up, like out there so people could see it. I kind of want to go see it. I want to see that. Shouldn't we go see it? Let's go see it. And do you think we'll be able to get access to it, maybe, to go get on the boat? Yeah, we'll make a phone call. Yeah, right there. It's in the back lot. There was a guy who was like doing a hike to the Wisdom Tree and he saw it in the back lot. There it is. Yeah, that's it. That's the exact same shot. Wow. Isn't that kind of cool? That's so fucking cool. Wait a minute. That can't be. It's from Barham. Yeah, I was just going to say. At the Barham, right down the street. Yeah, like some pickups. Where they shot Friends and Seinfeld was shot there. Seinfeld was shot at CBS Radford. That's what I mean. That's what you mean, right? Radford? No, no. That's Universal right there. Oh, that's Universal. I see. Radford's great because they did Friends. They sold it for like a fraction of its worth. It's gone now. I know it is. It's kind of crazy. I know. I did a pilot there once and I walked in the dressing room and there was on the corner of the room a gigantic beehive. For what? I did a pilot for HBO. What was the. I mean, what's the beehive though? You mean like a real one? A fucking beehive, guy! Wow, that'd get you prepared for the role? Yeah, it was. And I go, can I get out of the room? They looked and they're like, what the fuck? It was bees! You know why? Why? Bee actor, bee room. Oh, wow. Any room I walk into is filled with apples. Get over here. What are you drinking, matcha? Matcha. You like matcha? Yeah. We went to a Japanese spa yesterday and they give you matcha and I. My wife and I. Okay. Well, my friend Mike. That's better. We went to a couple's massage. Mike and you went to the. Okay. And then they give you matcha. They make it in front of you and you whisk it, you know? I've had it, yeah. It tastes like shit. Matcha tastes like shit. Chalky. It's a game that we're playing. Nobody likes it. Matcha's shit. Matcha's shit. Yeah. See, you get so conditioned by TikTok. Yeah, she thinks she likes it. She thinks you like it, but you don't. I do. I make my own matcha. What's in it though besides matcha? Is there sugar or sweetener or anything like that in it? I just put almond milk. She loves trendy stuff. She goes to that pink wall on Melrose. I've never. Yeah, you do. I've never been there. If there's an angel wing. If there's angel wings on a wall, dude, she'll take an angel photo. No, that's. You do all that stuff. The bagels. You only eat this one, pop-up bagels. It's trending. You're trendy. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, all right, I'll eat this one, but there's other bagel shops. No, she only does trend. You only eat pop-up bagels. Yeah, because you try to. You fuck me up with it. I influence you. You influence me. What do you put on your bagel? Just the. Cream cheese? What kind of bagel? Just a plain bagel. Plain cream cheese? Why even go to somewhere special? Yeah. Introduce our guest. Everybody. Headliner. New York. Special. He has a special on on Netflix right now. He has a movie. He has a movie he did, he directed, that you're in. I'm in a movie that he did, yeah. He plays Agent, you know what I mean, in a movie. I did. He is. Handsome. He's like a combination between Slenderman and Michael Phelps. Thank you. Uh-huh. You look great, dude. I don't know what else to say. You said that yesterday. You do. You look good. Oh, thank you. You look really good. You look healthy. Why don't you do a reintroduction? Do a real good introduction. Here we go. Do a right one. You can talk. I'm going to get in your name. I'm going to pitch it. I'm going to. Sam Morrell. Sam Morrell is here. Sam Morrell. Sam Morrell is here. Okay, that's good. Sam Morrell is here, everybody. Sam Morrell. Give it up for Sam. Oh, thanks. Sammy. Sam's got a great special on Netflix. It's out right now. Please go watch his new special. Go watch all of his specials, actually, but there's a new one that just came out right now. Incorrect is the name. It's incorrect. It's called Incorrect. And it's very correct. Yeah. You come correct. Bobby's got a special coming out next month. I understand that, but it's about Sam today. But Sam's special is on Netflix and yours is on Hulu. Hulu. Yours is on Hulu. You know what? We were happy to be on Hulu. Hulu did a very good job with our specials and we're so happy to be a part of the Hularius family. We love it. We loved it. Yeah, you're a part of like. I went to Amazon for my last one. That's their intro music when you open Amazon. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we enjoyed it on Hulu. It's been great, but you have a special on Netflix right now. It's incredible as usual. And Sam, thank you for coming back to the show. We appreciate you. I didn't see this movie. I don't know what I'm dressed as. But did you see this movie, Obsession, where I'm bare? I like that. Yeah. You liked it? That was a fun movie. It was good, dude. It's a fun movie. I'll make a wish right now. Do we get any wish sticks that I can crack one? Give me one. I can make one right now. Throw me. Oh, let's all make a wish stick. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What am I going to wish for? Oh, wishing willow. We all get to wish on the wishing willow. Oh, shit. This is real? Yeah. It's going to come true too. Dude. All right, Bob, do you want to go first or last? I'm going to go first. All right, go ahead. How's it smell? It doesn't smell. Good. It's so gay. Was that gay? Imagine when he did that, everyone in West Hollywood got their dicks sucked at the exact same time. Maybe. He puts his mouth there and everyone's like. Let me just break that stick. Sorry, my bad. Sorry, Sam. Do you have to announce your wish? No, you're not supposed to. No, in the movie, he does. He says it out loud. You have to say it out loud for it to become true. Okay. Oh, the wish stick. Otherwise, how does the audience know? I wish my mom lives for another 10 years. That's a good one. Why not 20, though? She's old. She's not going to make it. I'll go do 20. 20? 100. 100? No, she'll be 100 years old. You want her to go to 100? 100 years old. Ready? Wow. It's going to come true. If she dies, this doesn't work. Right. I want Bobby's mom to die. What happened? Oh, now he just did a reversal. Yeah, so now she's not going to die. Now she is going to die. No, but you got to undo it. Go ahead, Jules. Jules, do the right thing here. Into the mic. Do the right thing. You got to say it. My dogs live forever. Very good. I hope Rudy's dogs die real soon. So what happens now? It's a nil. It's nil-nil. Nothing happened. We're all even. We fucked these up. You could ask for a billion dollars. Fuck, I could have. But it didn't work out for that guy. It did not work out for that guy. Yeah, you make the wish. You leave the room. So you don't get, you know what I mean? Killed by money? Yeah, killed by money. So, well, that was a waste. Yeah, sorry about that. These are $3,000 a piece. Yeah, we shouldn't have bought these. These are expensive. They're from Hungary, dude. Are they really from Hungary? Yeah. Rudy has no idea. I have no idea. He does none of the- I just make things up. I was just in Hungary. I've been there, too. Where were you? Budapest? Yeah. What were you doing? Comedy. You did stand-up in Budapest? I did stand-up in Budapest. Sad fucking place. I loved it. It's beautiful, but you're actually the one who told me to go. You went there for a movie back then. Yeah, I loved it, dude. Yeah, dude. What, you didn't like it? I loved it. It was- The architecture. It was the darkness. Did you go to the hot springs? I did. You didn't like it? I loved it. Oh, I loved it. It was amazing. I had so much fun. I think Budapest can be, when you go down a couple of roads, you're like, uh-oh. Yeah. Yeah, uh-oh. But for the most part- Especially in the 1940s. Ruh-roh. Ruh-roh. How long? I said that, remember what happened with where I fucked up with Jamie? Yeah, he knows that. He doesn't know that story. What happened? What? Can I tell you? Yeah, I would love to hear it. All right, so I go to Budapest, because I'm doing this movie, and my agent's like, none of these stars are going to- I'm like, fuck with you, just be on your own. And I like- - Always a good agent thing to say to your client. - No, because they know me, right? So I go, okay, I'll stay by myself, right? So when I go to my hotel room, there's a letter from Jamie Lee Curtis. - Ooh. - And she goes, hey, I don't know you, but I know you know my godson, Jake Gyllenhaal. He's like, so meet me tomorrow at noon, we'll have breakfast, like a brunch. So I was super excited and I show up and it's like Jamie and a bunch of other actors, like six other actors. Jamie goes, come by the river, I wanna show you something, right? Now, I don't know anybody, okay? I'm nervous, right? 'Cause I want them to think I'm funny, right? So we go- - But little do they know. - Little do they know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's coming. - It's coming. - It's coming. So there are these little shoes on the side of the river, they're bronze shoes. - Okay. - And Jamie goes, she's tearing up and she's like, in the '40s, Nazis came in here and they took Jewish Hungarian citizens and they shot them and threw them in the river and that's why we have bronze shoes there. And everyone's like getting emotional, right? And there was this male Broadway actor, he has two sons, right? And he looks at these little baby shoes along the river and he goes, oh my god, they shot a baby. And I go, oh my god, they shot a baby. - And I go, oh my god, they shot a baby. - It could have been a midget. - Bobby, what the fuck? - And so then everyone walks away from me. So I'm now by the river just looking at these shoes, right, going, I just, fuck, I'm gonna get fired. - And that's why the movie bombed. - Liquid IV! - Oh my god, you know, water's not enough for me, baby. - It's not, it's not for me anymore. - And sometimes I use some salt to get that water into my system. - Yeah. - Right? But you know what the better option is? Liquid IV, dude. - Way, way better. - And this new, they have a couple of new flavors, right? - I love their stuff. - This Ring Pop, and they also have that, you know that Popsicle with the different, the Bottle Rocket? - Oh, the Bottle Rocket. - They have a flavor like that, too. 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When I go to Hungary, I only want to eat at Nobu. Yeah, there's Rosenstein's. - Oh, it's good, dude. - So they have, what's that? - Get some goulash. - Goulash is their favorite. - It's quite good. I went there when we were there with one of the director and his wife. It was phenomenal, dude. It's such a good meal. What's the name of the Jewish neighborhood? It's like the third, they're like wards, right? Aren't they wards? How do they title them? They title them in a way in the neighborhoods, they're called like sections or wards or whatever. But we went to the Jewish neighborhood. Dude, it's popping too. Districts, districts, that's what I call it, District Five. I saw that movie. - Great fucking movie. - Great movie, District Nine. - Yeah, I love that. - Shartokopli, yeah, it's good. - Was that the one in South Africa? - Yeah. - District Nine. - District Nine, yeah. - Yeah, it was a very good movie. Do you have any questions to ask Sam? I know you said-- - You guys never met, so you don't know Sam, okay? - I know her from the clips. - Yeah, but you guys have never met. - You've never seen this guy? He's a very famous comedian. - Yeah. - Are you British? - Yes. - Yes, he is. He's from Liverpool. - I fucking love Liverpool. Have you been there? - Liverpool rules. - Oh my God. - Tell me about Liverpool. - I had like the craziest night of my life there. I met this woman there and we were like, we hit it off to the point. You ever look at that, like you're doing a Euro run and you're like, ah, this is the one I'm not looking forward to. And it of course ends up being the best night. - Of course. - Of course, yeah. - Yeah, we just met. We hit it off. She was so cool. And it was a whole thing where I was like, come to London with me next. And she was like, I'm coming. I'm gonna come to London with you. - Whoa. - Did you fly her out? - No, I said, you don't fly to London from Liverpool. It's like a short drive. - Sam, Sam, Sam. He doesn't. - No, no. What do you, I don't what? What do you mean? - He's. - We have small planes. Buddy Holly planes. - We'll take one to the comedy store later tonight. - Wait, so yeah. I didn't know the distance. - It's not far. So I said, we're taking a train. Yeah, we're taking a train. You would have had some great jokes for Jamie Lee Curtis about that train too. Wanna hear those. - Where is this going? - So I say, meet me at the train station. And she gets cold feet at the end. - What, she bailed? - She bailed. She goes, I'm scared you're gonna traffic me. And I was like, fair enough. - Yeah, yeah, damn. - It's taken fucked up young women, they think. - Yeah, you say that to her and then you're like, I understand you call, pick up the phone. And you're like, boys, she's not gonna do it. - I was like, look, you are pretty hot. You should be scared of getting traffic. - So, but did you meet her at a show? - I met her at a bar. - Oh, wow. - I went out with the audience afterwards. I never do, but they were so cool. - You cry shirt it. - I cry shirt it, dude. - Wow. - Yeah. - He does that every time he goes out. Well, I mean, he used to a lot, go out to the bars with everybody. He'd invite them to a bar. - They were so cool by the bar that I was like, let's all fucking go out. And we just pulled an all nighter as a wild. - Wow. - Did she sound like one of the Beatles? - Yeah, it's a rough accent. - Yeah. - You gotta get past it. - He's like, I kinda wanna go with you, but I can't. I'd love to slob on your knob, but I don't think it's in my best interest. - Yeah, but she would still message me every now and then. Very nice woman. - She's out of your life now. - You never thought maybe she's the one? - What an opportunity she missed. She could have been sitting courtside at Knicks games while they won a championship. Does she know anything? - Every girl from Liverpool's dream is to go to a Knicks basketball game. Yeah, no, she, she said I regret not going. - Of course. - A while later, but yeah, but you know. - I'd love to meet Jalen Brunson. - But no, she was an awesome person. - Well, but that is one of those stories where we've talked about that, where shows we think might be bad are great, and the ones we think might be very good, not so good. - Always. - Yeah. - Dude, not so good. - For me, it's always bad. - Shut up. - Yeah, yeah, no, it's always bad. I know it's gonna be bad. I know, you know, Atlantic City. - That could be a tough one. - Tough, tough sell, man. - We knew it was, when I showed up at that place, I go, this is gonna be rough. And it was, right? - Which venue was it? Borgata, Tropicana? Borgata. Borgata. That's a good one, too. They did put up signs that said, Go away, Bobby Lee. I thought that was a bad moment. That was really strange. I don't know why they did that. Neon, too. Yeah, it was bright. Yeah, it was bright. Yeah, that was a terrible show. I cried on stage. What? Yeah, I had a single Native American trash. When you throw the trash? I had one of those tears. A reference to a commercial that's 75 years old. I don't care. Let him go to his Where's the Beef Chunk next. He'll do it. Lorena Bobbitt's in the news, everybody. What do you think? OJ, did he do it? I love you, Bobby. I see you getting upset. I'm not upset. The only reason Sam's coming with this very beautiful energy is because when you walked in, you physically attacked him. You did. You tried to punch him in the neck. Yeah. We're friends. That's what friends do. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm not New York. You know, this is how West Coast, it's West Coast vibes. I get it, man. What's up, dude? You know, that kind of thing. You look good. You keep saying that. I'm beginning to not believe you. I like the hat. I like the. But my point is that, yeah, I have that, you know? Yeah. Yeah, so. Nothing says chill like punching people in the neck. It was playful. Welcome, bro. You know what it is? It's a little man's complex. Wow. You never hear people say that. I do. But they never admit it, I feel. No, he's. Did you reach? What? Did you reach? No, I didn't reach. Yeah, that's. Okay. What are you fucking getting involved for, fuckface? Crazy reach Asians. What I'm saying is that when I see a taller white man. Yeah. Right? I have to sort of kind of show dominance a little bit. Made it about race. It was about height, but he made it about race. It's like the prison cell thing. You're doing. Yeah, you attack the biggest guy in prison day one. That's what you do. Yeah, so Bobby would go kiss him. Hey, bro, I'm fucking crazy, dude. Yeah, right, dude. You'd run up right up to a guy and be like, you want me to get you French toast? When I'm in prison, dude, I'm going crazy. No way. Yes, I am. Dude, you're pulling your pants down and you're opening your butthole the moment you're in prison. No, that's crazy. I know you. There's proof of all. Wait, you think that's a move? Yeah. You think opening your butthole, you're like, look how fucking crazy I am, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not true. I dare you. I dare you. You do reverse psychology. That's smart. Because you're going to die. I have it all. I have it all. You have it. Hiv. The list goes on. Yeah, the list goes on. The list goes on. Ask Sam the burning question that you asked us before the show. You wanted to ask him. Go ahead. You can ask him now. He's here. Ask him. Are you gay? Am I gay? No. Do you think I was? I am British. Do I seem gay? A little bit. No way. I take it as a compliment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, it is. Gay dudes are fit. They're often well- You also have an artistic kind of femme about you. That's cool. You just look cooler. Oh, thank you, dude. Yeah, you're welcome. All right. You look cooler than them. No. Yeah, yeah. I mean, him for sure, but not both of them. I don't know. Why did you do this? Because you attacked me. Why is there a direct line? You did attack him first. How did I attack you, guys? When I came in. The moment he walked in, you started to jump on him and attack him. I never know what Bobby I'm going to get. Yeah, that's true. You can either be the warmest Bobby ever, or it's like, oh, you're going to fuck with me for all day. Yeah. You know what? I'll ease up on it. No, I like when you fuck with me. Yeah, yeah. You attack me sometimes, too. Do I? No, you're more helpful than anybody else. Sam's not an aggressor. Can I ask you? I had to brought this up yesterday. I did a text to you when I was in New York, right? Where's good spots to eat? And everyone responded except for you. That's impossible. Dude, no one responded. I know. You were the only one who responded, but then the other people responded days after that. Well, you sent a group text? I did. Don't ever group text me. Just text me directly. I've always given you good restaurant recs. You know that. But I probably saw a group text and went, fuck this. Because when there's nine people, you're like, I don't want to do this dance with other people. I got back to you immediately. You're the only one that did it. What did you recommend? Lartuzzi. Lartuzzi, the restaurant? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a good spot. It's a very good spot. I think I've been there with you. Yeah, me and you. Hey, we did go there. Yeah, Lartuzzi, yeah. Yeah, we did. We went with Mateo? Yeah, Mateo. Yeah, Mateo. Yeah, Mateo. Our favorite sweet, sweet little New York boy. I love that dude. Dude. No one's in better shape in common. Elite gay. Elite gay. Dude, he's elite gay. You know Mateo? S-tier. S-tier gay. Look up Mateo, dude. This is elite gay, dude. Hop in the line. Wait to see how fucking hot this guy is. This guy's gay. This guy's gay. That's what gay is. I would kill to look like that. Come on. Look at that, dude. His Instagram is- That's like an old pic, too. I feel like he's more ripped. Oh, he's way more ripped. More ripped now. His Instagram is like porn at this point. I see photos of him in the beach. I'm like, good God, Mateo. I can't get on Pornhub in Texas. I look at his fucking IG. Look at- Zoom in on that. You need a VPN. Dude, dude, dude. Elite. Look at that shit. That's top gay. Yeah. He's got the V kind of, too. Look at that. Brother, he's got him. He's got everything, dude. I like his friend, Nick. I like Nick. Nick is great. Yeah. And look at that. Meatballs, pasta. Like, he eats any of that shit. Look at his fucking body. Is that Nick? Yeah, there's Nick. There's Nick. We love Nick. Elite gay, Nick. Now, see, the guy on the right, you would go, yes. The guy on the left, you'd go, don't know. Yeah. In that picture, it's hard to tell. Yeah. Have you seen those things online where they'll, like, show you a picture and they're like, is this guy gay? And the guy's always like, definitely. And then they take a picture of him and the next guy's like, yeah. Yeah. He's definitely got to be that gay. It just never ends. He goes, would you, would people think, do you think people think you're, look at that. Jesus Christ. Oh my God, dude. Move over whoever. Yeah. But the work to maintain that, man. To maintain a body like that is, you got to stay in the gym. But- I want to go to Bobby's gym. Let's have Bobby open up the gym. Do you go to the gym? Never? Dude, what? You don't know what to do? You know what? Your laughs, your little twerks, and your little bullshit, I'm fucking tired of that shit right now, man. Dude, you at the gym, never. Fuck you. I've been to the gym. You asshole. What gym? What do you do? What do you do? There was one on La Brea. It was a boxing gym that I used to go to. Yeah. You went there 30 years ago. Yeah. You asked me if I've been to a fucking gym. I've been to a fucking gym, man. He's saying, do you go to the gym? It's a current, it's a- I have a Peloton bike. I have a Peloton bike, and I have little weights at home. You don't even say it right. And I have a little hang thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You want to see me hang, dude? Let's see him hang. Yeah, dude. I hang for days, dude. Really? That's how she sleeps. Yeah, yeah. Upside down. Backwards is a bad idea. My girlfriend's son was trying to sleep upside down, and I was like, you can't sleep upside down. And he was like, I'm doing it. And the way I had to convince him not to is, well, if you do, you'll look like this. And I showed him a picture of Stephen Hawking, and he was like, oh, shit, and he slept the right way. That's parenting from Sam Morales, dude. That's good parenting. That worked. Now, because you're the male influence now. Well, he's got a dad. I know, but I mean, when you're there, do you have to do the guy thing? Do you have to go to the bathroom and stuff like that or not? No, he can poop. He can poop. He can poop. He can poop. But I mean, say you're at a game. Yeah. Say you're at a sporting event. She doesn't want him to go to the bathroom alone. You got to go. Oh, shit. I've been sending him off. No, I go. You have a son? My girlfriend's got a son. Oh. And he's, you know, he's, yeah. Trying to step in. Step in. Step up. How old is the son? He's six. Oh, wow. The guy that stepped up. That's what it is. When I stepped out, I stepped up. That's great, man. I've done that before, too. I guess you could say I'm a stand-up guy in a lot of ways. Oh, no. You really are? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, you've done that before. Bobby. I love you. I feel like you'd be good with kids. You know what? I am good with children. It's creepy when you said children. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good with kids. Yeah. Yeah. I met your kids. Your kid? Yep. Was I not nice to your kid? Yeah, she didn't have a nightmare, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a cute kid. Have you seen this kid? Yeah, I've seen his. I've met his daughter many times. Yeah, she's so cute. She's the best. Yeah. Yeah, it's shocking that it came from his walls. And nice. It really is shocking. I think she's got a good future. Hmm. Yeah. You know what? I'll put her on my will. Thank you. I have to meet them first before I put them on my will. I was offering that. Remember I was offering that? Wills, yeah. You were willing up. Oh, yeah. Remember. I've been manipulating people through my will. Do you have a will? Yeah, do this for me. I know you're in bad health, but holy shit. Yeah, yeah. You're working on the will already? Yeah. And I say, do this for me, and I'll put your kid on my will. None of it worked, by the way. None of it worked. What kind of stuff are you leaving behind? I want to hear this will. Cash. Properties. Cash and properties. And people will go, no, fuck you. I'm not doing that. They just don't know how dirty the cash is. This is your new show. What? The will. You think so? You get people to do shit for you. For my will. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when Diddy had that show, and he made people walk across a bridge for cake. This is your Diddy show. How to make it in the will. Yeah, you should do a show where you leave young comedians parts of your will. Yeah. Based on what? What do they need to do for you? Well, I already have certain guys. I think Ramsey Badawi will be my will. You're going to put a comedian? You're really going to put him in your will? The guy that opens for you? Yeah. How much money are we talking? By them, nothing. You're so rude, dude. What a rude man you are. What do you spend your money on? What's a big Bobby thing? Guess. Restaurants is one thing. Restaurants is huge. But what's another? Nice clothes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Clothes, smells. You know, I've been doing this smell, Eucalyptus 20. From La La Ball. You know, you got to wear it. One of those. Yeah, Eucalyptus 20. You got to. He's mocking. That's what I wear. Oh, really? He found out what I wear. Now he's exposing it. You wear a scent? Oh, yeah. I put on cologne. You don't put on cologne? You don't have a signature scent? You want to try it? I want to smell it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smell like Andrew did. You got to smell like Andrew did. By the way, this turned into a plug for La La Ball. Yeah. I know. also can i say this too yesterday i said something that made you kind of mad what was it it was a slight thing but it was as strong as hell yeah do you like it you don't need all of it i just yeah oh is it pouring out oh i did yeah i fucked up what do you so you weren't just natural pheromones yeah yeah that's your thing yeah yeah but yesterday um i said to you right when you left the the office i go i promise i won't buy those shoes because the shoes that you've been wearing i really like those oh you like those i'm not gonna buy them yeah you're not and i'm not gonna steal your style you don't even know who makes them i'll find it you won't i promise shoes you're wearing right now no no no i was wearing them last night yeah yeah were they cool shoes no they're like they're not he's mocking me i'm not mocking you dude i really like them they're shitty dumb shoes they're not shitty shoes i really like them and i'm gonna get a pair but he did stare at him and then he goes i'm not gonna buy those which means he's trying to get my goat but i know he can't find what they are because they're not labeled or anything will you tell me no what the fuck no he already blew up the cologne please tell me dude no you can just take a picture of it and then chad gpd it what the fuck are you doing yeah yeah it's interesting you little fucker it's interesting yeah what's like an expensive purchase like a cool shirt or jacket or something what are we doing so what what i'll do is um meal here's the thing i i order so much food ask her yeah yeah three meals delivered right why because it's just not like leaving the house so we'll get gigantic like barbecue or or whatever you know and then you know how like the pope has that glass mobile that he's rides around in he has one of those and he'll go down skid row with all the homeless are and he'll just eat all this food in front of them and wave well you have to lock eyes and you have to wave the ribs that's what he does yeah if you wave the ribs you lock eyes it's a really good dig when we go out to eat together he'll order like the whole like if it's appetizers like we went to vietnamese joint we ordered all the appetizers he'll order everything yeah i want what you eat a lot no he won't even finish half so it's a show yeah it's it's you know that's what your special should have been called bobby lee the show let me tell you let me give you some education if i may wow let me educate everyone in this room per se professor lee okay hello per se please ponchon oh yes ponchon what's ponchon no idea all right ponchon is korean food dishes if you go to korean barbecue all those little side plates i love those little side plates sometimes it comes up with like 20 my favorite yeah you know yeah yeah and um what about yeah it's good um and so what i like to do in american restaurants is order a bunch of different things to try everything right because you're new to america no it's that's what it is i've been here for 55 years yeah brother yeah how old are you 55 wow no it's i mean don't get me you look good come at me you i said you look good i am old come on at me no i didn't know you were 55 that was like on the catering for this movie i was just joking around because a lot of times it would just be like a stuff in a bin you know and you're like what is this like you couldn't tell some of it was good they did a great job but like some of it i was like what is this and sagura was like what is this and i was like what is this and i was like what is that and he's like what is that and the guy's like huh he's like what is that and the guy's like and he wasn't speaking any english and i was like is this is this poop slop pop plop and he goes i go is this poop slop plop and he goes yeah yeah yeah it was awesome yeah it was it ended up oh we were cracking up it ended up being polenta but it did not look like polenta and it was tough to eat i bet lost a little bit of weight you look you're looking fit man dude i had to i did because we weren't eating we were shooting every all day long and then anything i ate it was like crafty popcorn yeah yeah a little popcorn little popcorn snacks during your movie do you have a good craft service did he ever no it's it's a independent movie indie movie yeah i want craft service see this he's a big crafty guy yeah yeah you're in big movies though i feel like right that's exactly right not really weren't you in sex in the city that's exactly right that's a movie should have been they made a movie didn't they did yeah yeah yeah i did some things but i'm just saying i was just asking about the craft service man it's no offense we're good man you know what you're right sam you're right there is something different with me today yeah no i felt you're right the energy is different and i lift it up sing a song i gotta pee let me pee real quick if you if i may you please can i pee real quick yeah god damn it yeah yeah in the middle of a pod we just 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you how it's all connected what to pay attention to and what you can do next the more you understand your body the better you can live in it wear your best life with aura ingram sent me the video of you crashing into his car last night i have it now i have the video evidence you guys want to see it you crashed you did he was by the way it was a hit and run it was a hit and run what yeah i've done it many times before that doesn't doesn't make it better let's just be here are you a bad driver he's the worst really take it away comment section yeah i'm not gonna say it but damn yeah yeah what are you careless or what is it you texting what are you doing no i just um no i it's not pure what no it's video games guy i know how to do it in video games yeah no i don't know what i'm saying is is that you know i have skill sets when it comes to like driving and vehicle you know manipulation and what are the skill sets crashing in other people is that part of the game yeah camera or what oh yeah i have so what happened was i crashed into his car and then i drove away okay and as you do as you do witness it's traumatic for me too as well sam look at it from my point of view yeah sam look at it from his point yeah i slammed his car what do i do he's doing a set do i wait no you leave you know whose car it was yeah my friend rick ingram a good buddy of ours but you know what his car looks like oh yeah you knew it was his yes and it felt really bad no he didn't feel bad even a little bit i just how did you how did you handle this did he tell you how to do it did he text you and say hey what the or what would we i got many texts from many people we were on to you we have the video footage he thought he was getting away with it like he did it with under the guise of of escaping no you know here we have the video yeah it's right there okay big time i can't believe it i've never seen this this is security footage of him he pulls in right he's pulling in and does it he's pulling in her back and then but this is at the lot of the comedy story there he's back and there's my blue car yeah yep and he just hits the gas doesn't need to be hitting the gas right now it could stop and bump and then he pulls away like it never fucking hell i park look at he parks he does it again i do it again he does he scrapes it more now yeah scrape it more yeah it's like he's scraping the whole side of the car it's rubbing against the car all right and now in that car look push pause for a second look at the lot at the story this is harder than expert on tetris this is fucking insane who's this in this particular car right here you can't see it's um steph tolo steph tolo sitting in her car watching the whole thing and she's witnessing it in the next car was kaitlyn jenner saying holy shit that's a bad driver yeah yeah so anyway i got bobby hit a fucking dog on the way home and was like look that's traumatic for me too tough wow that's crazy and then um i just leave right how much money do you have so i call him i go how much and he goes no forget about it really yeah what's he gonna do what's he gonna do is you should have paid him for the repairs on this i offered i go whatever it takes i know but you should just given him cash because he's not gonna want to he's not gonna feel comfortable asking you should have just gone here you know i'm gonna give him cash how much sam let's let sam dictate how much i don't know shit about car yeah but just give it a whirl huh is a thousand ten thousand he said huh i think five hundred a thousand seems nice you know what it's not the point it is the point because it's hot it's time if it was tim dillon's car i stop i'd write a letter it's it's time put it on the windshield that's what me it costs him money time i do it based on the car he has a child that two two thousand two children in the will that's what i'm saying oh put him in the will you know what i'm gonna put him in the will put him in the will that's the best way to see a good friend or no he's a dear friend yeah but you know what you know it's like you know i've been in the car for a long time i've been in the car for a long time things from people and banked it up a bit you know you know like what like a screwdriver or whatever i don't know i've never you're really borrowing what have you borrowed fix it lee yeah yeah no what i'm saying is is that um i'll give you an example screwdriver it's like that scene in seinfeld when he's like newman you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried and dipped i got it right here yeah okay um so marcello was here in town yeah and he asked to borrow my xbox all right and i go what if i lend you my xbox you're gonna deliver it to my house because i promise he does not do that he leaves at the store it's banged up you know what i mean why wouldn't you why would he scratches on it buy an xbox and so my point is is that i let it go because it's like you know that's what happened if you hit marcello's car would you have left a note what is he driving i don't what is it what's marcello driving who has no say it's a nice car something latin something latin yeah uh um it's i think a ford fiesta yeah yeah there it was yeah yeah he has a ford fiesta yeah no i would not stop for a ford fiesta tell a nissan maraca it's quick it's fast yeah really yeah it's quick yeah you never had a ford mariachi oh is that good yeah it's a really good car it's a truck oh it's a big pickup truck yeah you could put like 15 guys in there he doesn't have a car he lives in new york yeah no no yeah although you know your boy has a your isn't in norman's got norman loves old beamer in the 70s you've never had a car right i don't drive have you ever owned a car no wow that's why you have a license i a pity license i i passed i failed two driving tests in new york and the third time i i just like pleaded with the woman she's like all right it's kind of wild to think 40 years and never own a car i can drive but it's bad joe list would give me shit all the time we did a casino run like way back in the day and it was a like 30 hours driving total and i told him i'd split the driving with him and he was like i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do and then i drove and he was like i'm driving the whole fucking time yeah so i drove probably 30 minutes and he drove 29 and a half hours wow and he was he famously would always say uh he's like yeah samson would say i can drive but i suck at turns so yeah no driving oh it's an important part of driving is the turns the turns yeah do you know what right and left is yeah i can i know what it is you know imagine putting you right and then the left what about putting you in a car in england would have been it'd be a fucking nightmare that no i'll tell you what i've never done is is hit a friend of mine's car so that's pretty fucking cool pretty cool i've never done that i drove in dublin and it was kind of scary yeah it's weird on the wrong side it's strange yeah i did it in australia too that like they're like and by the way they're so flipping about it i was like uh oh can i get a rental car no like yeah sure mate i was like oh great i go downstairs and they're like keys are there and i was like oh oh oh fuck i thought they would make americans do like a driving thing they don't give a fuck they just give you the car they're like go for it figure it out i'm not a good driver i did drive once to pick up a girlfriend and i i did crash the car you did but it was a it was i looked and there was no damage on the car i hit and there was no damage on my car so so you saw yeah it was good so you did the same thing yeah it was rick uh ingram's yeah no i i i it was fine but yeah i was like i'm not good at this well the thing is i just because i five years before that i slammed into sam tripoli's car on purpose holy shit that was deliberate that was deliberate so that was not why made me mad bobby i did like five thousand dollars worth of damage on this car what i didn't give him five grand yeah he that's the whole car how did he make no it was a he had a beautiful escalade jesus yeah how would he make you mad i forgot but i remember slamming into the thing and then it was a big country bobby crashes into sam tripoli's car at the comic store it's on youtube it's on ai but they say it was accidental on yeah they're wrong it was wrong yeah that's what he does he hits things on purpose oh that's that is a video of it oh the sklar brothers there's all kinds of people holy shit a lot of cameos in this cameos in this video dude that's your car oh yeah it was a prius all right that's okay we got it you're a fucking psycho dude i'm a little concerned you think his car is an escalade is that why sam thinks he can drop the yeah jesus bob i know all right get off of this get off of this yeah yeah this is wild yeah this is you're a fucking you're a loose cannon i'm not a loose cannon guy i'm a principled man okay and everything's about principle it's about it really is ask me about principles teach us some principalities well i don't even know what we're saying i mean the principle is this to be honest right and to be fort wright fort wright and to um it's all about compassion and it's all about compassion and it's all about compassion and it's all about communication to be honest with you imagine if he wrote the constitution it'd be difficult to be forthright but for me it's like um you know i make mistakes and i'm not to them sure and that was you own up to them when they're on camera yeah only when they're recorded that's the only thing that exists if it's if it's not recorded doesn't exist oh a tree falls in the wood yeah you think sam this is the one this girlfriend that you have maybe i could see that you can yeah yeah yeah you have feelings for her i do yeah yeah i think it's we had a bad moment where i tucked the kid in the bed and the kid said i love you to me and i said i love you back and it was it should have been a nice moment but it was in front of her and i'd not said that to her yet and i was like there's gonna be a problem wow i'm gonna hear about this and then did she bring it up yeah yeah dude of course that's the point of the story it was tough yeah i handled it not well but uh yeah but let's look at it like this yeah a young child yeah who is you know had his parents separated he needs that i oh of course i said it back and what do you think i'm gonna leave him hanging yeah and look i like you but uh we're not there yet dude so she said you've never even said it to me so yeah i had to find a time to say it you can't just say it then you can't just be like you you too it's disingenuous disingenuous could you have done this i love both of you i should have is that a good answer or no but it would have been weird yeah if he said i love you sam and he goes i love you and your mom that's wow that's the answer i love you way to fuck it up sam you fucked that up i fucked it up i i did an even worse thing i tried to make it funny afterwards where I said to her, "Look, the L word is like the N word. "I've only said it a couple of times." Both times it ended really badly for me and she did not like that. And of course her friends were like, "He sucks, leave him." But I fixed it. - She knows she's marrying a comedian? - She gets it in fights too, which is huge. Like, you know when you're in a fight with your girlfriend and you have to make a joke just to cut the tension? She was yelling at me and I said, "You can't be a single mommy and yell. "It's a little trashy." And she lost it laughing. I was like, "All right, good, we're good." - Oh, good. - She gets it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I did with my girlfriend? - You hit her, right? That's what I heard. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, right in the eye. Both eyes. She looks like a panda now. - And you don't even leave a note, no. All right. - Yeah, so I had been dating my girlfriend for a year. - Whoa. - And she loves Harry Potter. So I downloaded the Harry Potter game, Hogwarts, on my Xbox. And so she said, "Can I create my own character?" I go, "Yeah, you can create your own character." I go, "I don't care." - How old is this woman? - She just talks like that. - That is exactly how she sounds. - Yeah. And so, you know, we make it the way she wants it, the character look like. And then there's a, and I'm doing it 'cause she's not really good at controls, right? And I- - Sounds like you're mansplaining over here, huh? You're not good at it. I'll do it. - Well, she's never played games before. So it's a different- - New hands. - New hands. Anyway, so there's a portion where it says, and your first name and she goes, "I want it to be me." So I put her name. But then the second part was her last name. And I go, "You do this part." - Oh, yeah. - Didn't know her last name. - That's fucking crazy. - A year. - How do you not- - I did know, it just slipped my mind. And that was, man, the defending I had to do on- - Yeah, what did she, this is another Seinfeld, Dolores. - Yeah, Dolores, that's right. - How do you not know- - Well, first, your first reaction is to play dumb. - That's your first reaction. - Yeah. - Not the royal your, yours, personally. Most people will go, "I'm sorry, this is embarrassing." - No, not me. - Yeah. - I have to make it, I have to gaslight. - Yeah, gaslight, gaslight, gaslight. - Did you ask her like, you didn't even do like, "How do I spell your last name?" - No, so I go, "Yeah, you do it because," yeah, that's what I did. I go, "I don't know how do you spell your-" Then I try to do the thing that was like, "It's a joke." That's not a joke. How is that a joke? - It's a joke. - Yeah. - I pretend I don't know. - Right, it's funny. - Yeah, yeah, that doesn't work. - How long was she mad at you for this? - For weeks, and I had to apologize every day. And now I know her birthday, middle name, everything. - You know all of it. - I know all of it. - Favorite color? - Yeah. - You studied up. - I studied. - What's a little known fact about her? Hit us with something good. - What do you mean? - I don't know, like we got the last name. Now it would give me like some more interest. - Well, she's a witch. - She's a witch? - That's real. - Yeah. - I don't think she's a witch. - No, no, no. She is a witch. - What are you talking about, Muriel? - I don't know what this is. - What the fuck are you talking about? If you meet a warlock, he's a warlock, okay? A guy that does alchemy? Get the pot and get the mushrooms in there, bud. - That's right, baby. - And the toad feet, right? Do you do what you are meant to do? - She doesn't identify as a witch. She is a witch. - All right. - Yeah, so she's a full blown witch. She dispels. - Witch women are women. - Exactly, dude. - Thank you. - See this new. - At what point did she tell you she was a witch? - I knew it before I even met her. - She teaches us spells. - She teaches me spells. - Like what kind of spells? - She does. She has a very special freeze spell. - Freeze? - Yeah, so. - Can you use it behind the wheel next time? - That's a good one, dude. - You'll be a good driver. You'll take responsibility for accidents. - Yeah. - What other spells are we talking? - So. - If you have a pork chop in my freezer and if you lift it, there's a big piece of paper in it and it has his name on it in my freezer. - She wants me to cool off. She said, put him in the freezer. He needs to chill out. That's literally what they did. - Yeah. - That is weird. - Yeah, imagine what they do when they fuck. - He did chill out. - No, I didn't. - I know. - Yeah, no, it didn't work. - What are you doing? - You'd have to put me in sub-zero temperatures. - I also have Ken Jeong's name for some reason in there and Ronnie Chang, all the Asian actors. - Right. - Yeah. - I wanted to freeze that. - Could you do it with Epstein's list or something? - Yeah, I'll try. - I'll do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But she taught you a spell. What did she teach you? - The same thing. I had to do it with the England team during the FIFA. - You had to put the entire England team in the freezer? - Mexico and I put England team in the freezer and then they did it. - England won. - Yeah. - Yeah, so it doesn't work. - Yeah, it didn't work. - He didn't say she was a good witch. - Right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. - I mean, there's levels in this game, like X-Men. - Okay. - Do you know X-Men? - Sure. - Right, so there's levels of mutation. I don't know if you know this, right? - I know. - So the ones that you're watching, like, you know, Cyclops, you know. - You know, the standards. - Yeah. - Yeah, Mystique, all those standards are the fifth, like, level of the mutation. So, but there's mutations that happen. - She's an open mic witch. - That's what I'm saying. Her mutation hasn't evolved yet. - She's doing a bringer show witch. - Damn, that's the show. - It's tough, yeah. - Is it Shitty X-Men? - That's Shitty X-Men. That'd be great. - They have to paper her witch events. They have to give two-for-ones to come to the event. That's what we go through. - Yeah, I've thought of powers that I might, 'cause I think that I would, I'm so unlucky in life, that I would have a shitty power. - You're the luckiest guy I've ever met. - What power? - You're the luckiest, you think you're unlucky? - I get really angry, and for some reason, just my rectum turns metal. - Oh. - Yeah, like, I'd have this shitty power, or I like- - That's what you get to use in prison. - I'll die with it. - Metal ass. - Metal ass, yeah. - Good luck. - That's what you do. - Yeah. - Do your best, and you pull it down. That's when it fucking comes in handy. You break some big dicks. - Yeah, and I would come in with the, remember we went through the prison energy before, like, what's up, man, I'm crazy. - Crazy boy. - Yeah, yeah. And I can go, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, like that. So anyway, another power is controlling cockroaches. - Yeah, you must. - So, Magneto attacks me, and I go, stop, right? And he goes, what are you doing? I go, they're coming. - They wait there for four hours. And they slowly start-- - They're on the way. - He'd probably leave by then. - Yeah, why would he wait? - That's right. - Yeah, I don't think he's gonna wait. - But like, you know, what would you be a power? What kind of power, a shitty power? - I'd like, know where to find, like, is the least traffic. - Yeah. - Really? - I don't avoid any traffic. - This is a good route right here. - Straight roads for you. - Oh, it's about, yeah. - My power would be, where did I put that key? - Yeah. - That would be mine. - Oh, that's a good one. - Where did I lose that thing? - I can't find any remote I ever put down or a thing. Like I opened my back door the other day and there was a pair of shoes in the back of my car and I forgot that I had put those in there. How often are you in the backseat of your own car? Like you never, I forgot it. I put it back there and I found it. I lost it a month or two ago. I don't think I, when you go in the backseat, I wish I had that power. I remember where I put every little thing that I've ever lost. - And then something happens, like your nipples turn blue or something. - They are gone. - It needs one other thing. - Yeah. - Yeah, you need an extra physical thing. - I start crying when I find it. - But you cry what? - Like bawling. Huh? - You should cry something. - Uh, gochujang. - Yes, gochujang. Gochujang is good. - So it does feed the people, but it's- - How do you know gochujang? - I've been friends with you for years. - I know, but that's a really deep take. - Thank you. - That's real Quran. - I love you, dog. - You know what, dude? I love you too. And you know, for you to memorize certain things like that, it really makes it special. - Yeah, I mean, you don't even know your girlfriend's last name. This is why we have wars. - I know, but you know what? I like our wars. - I know, I do too. - 'Cause I know we're gonna make up and it's coming right around the corner. - That's right. - It is. I do wanna say something positive about you, if I may, Sam Morell. - Oh, look at him then when you do it. - I don't want to. - But that's how positive stuff works. - I know, but it's so intimate. I can't look at him. - Okay, look at me when you say it. - All right. I've met a lot of comics in New York, right? - Don't look at him. - I will not look at him, right? And you've always- - You've always been open. You've always tried to help me. - Yeah. - Helpful, sweet guy. - He really is. Like, where are you going? You come here. He tells me where to go, right? Tells me where to go to eat. - The other ones don't do that. - They don't do that. - Right. - You don't do it. I did. I asked you. - Well, you were down in the dumps once, I remember, at the cellar one night, and I think Rachel Feinstein and I were like, "Come on, let's do something fun." - Yeah, that was really nice. - "We're trying to cheer you up." - Yeah. - I hate seeing you down, man. I really like you, and I want to be friends with you. - No, thanks. I'm Sam. - Oh. - Yeah. - Well, that's, you know. - I've got a whole life. I don't need you. - Okay, well, that's not good. But we could be really good acquaintances. - I'm gonna talk to Andrew. - Hey, Andrew. - What's up? - How are you? - I think Sam's great. I think he's ready for something serious, and it's with you, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - End scene. - I know what you mean. He's saying-- - You're a good guy. - The New York Times. - You really are a good guy. - Always been a great dude. I know we got off on the wrong foot one time. I pissed you off, I think, when, I didn't know I pissed you off 'til like 10 years later. - What did you do? - I went on before him at the improv, 'cause I had another spot. - He bumped me. - I didn't know I bumped him. - Yeah, but you probably killed. That's what he was really afraid of. - I remember that night. What bothered me, that he was funny. And I couldn't believe it, and then I kind of cursed his name all night. - Did you put him in the freezer? - You know what's crazy? You knew my last name back then. You were cursing my full name. - Yeah, I was. - Isn't that crazy? - It's crazy. - Samurai! Outside crying in the rain. Yeah, no, he didn't bump you. He was put into that slot. - Okay. - The club didn't. - Again, I'm sorry. - No, we're done. That's over. That war's over. Yeah, but anyway. - No, but I love when- - I really- - 'Cause I know you're the reason Santino is not in New York. - That's right. - That's right. - And that always bugs me 'cause I know Andrew and I would be so tight. - Every time we go to New York, this is the guy. - Yeah, we hang and it's like, I'm like, "Oh man, Andrew and I would be so close if Bobby wasn't holding onto you." - Yeah. - Yeah, okay, I'm not a fan of the city. - I know. - Every time we go together, I'm always like, "How great is this?" And he hates it. - What do you hate about it? - Like I said, I don't know where to go. I don't know where the good spots are. And if I lived there for a year, I would have the city in lockdown. - That's what I mean. I told him, "Give it a chance, you'll dial it in." - Yeah. - It'll be so- - I would have it on lockdown, but I'm not giving myself that chance 'cause I only stay there like three, four days at a time. - But I mean, every time we go, once you start to learn spots you like, then you slowly gather- - I think so, yeah. Because La Truce would be a place that I would go to and- - What's the farm game that you play? - Stardew Valley. - Imagine Stardew Valley is New York City. You just need to collect and slowly grow. It takes time. - Oh, if you frame it like that, I love it. - See? I just have to give- You have to speak to him like that. You would. - Maybe you would. I don't know. It's got- - Here's another reason. I've been there a lot and I've never, as a single man, and New York women don't like me. - That's not true. This is such a- - I've never hooked up- - But don't you have a girlfriend? - No, but this is before- - No, when he was single, he sang whenever he went, when he was single. - Oh, so you have bad memories, 'cause you weren't- - Yeah, yeah. Through my 30 years of going to New York and- - I feel like New York City were like the ugliest, weirdest guy you know can get laid. - Yeah. It's- - But maybe- - You're in your head. You could totally- - 100% you can get laid in New York. You would get laid in New York so, if you put some effort and time into it. - Okay. - I bet you could. - Well, I have a girlfriend that's committed. - I'm saying, if you're not in a relationship, well, who knows? - Is this serious? - I do love her. - She's casting a spell right now. - We'll see. - There's a little onion-shaped Bobby at home. I love her so much. - Yeah, yeah. - She's slowly peeling away a layer if he doesn't obey. - What does your girlfriend do? - She's a creative director at a makeup company. - Oh, that's cool. That's a real job. - Women love that shit. - Oh yeah, she would love that shit. - Yeah. - That is such a cool, of your girlfriends, like Feinstein would be like, "Oh my God, get me some of that shit." - "Get me some shit." Yeah, the women like it. - That is a huge plus if the partner works at a place where your friends are like, "That's cool." - Is it Olive Young? - No. - Oh. - What's that? - That's his cousin. - You don't know about Olive Young? - I don't know what that is, dude. I don't fucking use makeup. I should. - I think that's more Asian to the Bobby. - Oh, is it more Asian? - Yeah. - That's her, Olive Young? - Yeah, the hottest Korean, you know, it's like the Korean Sephora finally landed in America. And the line is-- - Like it's a spaceship. - Yeah, it landed. And I go there all the time. - Where is that? - Is that downtown LA? - There's one at the Century City and there's one in Pasadena. The Pasadena line is around the block. I would not wait in that. - God, we should have gotten that business. What are we doing in podcasting? We should have gotten the Olive Young. - Yeah. - It'd be pickle old. - Like if you want to get acne patches, you don't break out. You have beautiful olive skin. - Thank you. I don't know what to expect with you. - Just wait, it's coming. - I'm guarded always. - Why? - 'Cause I don't know which Bob I'm gonna get. - These are pure observations. - You have olive skin. - Exactly. - When you leave an olive too long in the stuff, and it just sits. - Yeah, but his tone. - It browns a little bit. - Yeah, I get it. It's very Mediterranean, his tone. - He's fucking Jewish. - He did an episode of my podcast where he called me gray for an hour, and I didn't know what it meant. - That's what I was leaning at. It is gray. - Yeah. - No, he's not. He's got a good tan. - Okay, okay. - Kid's got an incredible tan. - I don't know what the fuck to make of it. I love you, dude. I love you. - Welcome to the show. - Are you still single, by the way? Did you break up with that guy? - No, I'm still single. - No, she's still seeing him. - Does he come over to the house still, sometimes? - No. - Never? - Never. - Bob? - Well, he lives in Belgium. - Oh, you're dating a guy from Belgium? - Yeah. - That's wild. - Did you ever do long distance? - Many times, it's awful. - Not like that. - Not Belgium, LA is not. I did LA a couple of times. - LA to here is tough. - God, dude, going through airport security to get laid. It's fucking terrible. - How long would you see this person from LA? Like a year or whatever? - I've done a few. I think there was a period where I was only dating women from LA. - Yeah, that's true. - But I think I would just open up to them, being like, "Well, we'll never date." And then you're like, "Fuck, now we're dating." - Yeah. - But it was like a safety thing, but yeah. - It's an expensive date to take a flight across the country. - Oh, dude, and also with how much we travel already, it's like adding that in, dude. - I have a buddy of mine who's in a long distance relationship. We had a heart-to-heart about it 'cause he was like, "I gotta get out of it." But it's so hard to break up with someone far away because you have to do it to the face. - You don't have to do it to the face. - No, because he's like, "It's so rude to break up with someone far away "over digital." - Yeah, but you'll- - No, I do smokes and signals. I don't give a fuck. - You still doing that? - Yeah, I don't give a fuck. - That's our- - That act out, sold it right there. Bobby, what do you think this is, a black room right here? What the hell was that act out? - It was on Def Jam. - Yeah, yeah, I did that. - But the smoke signal's actually how he landed his current girlfriend, though. She caught wind of it. One of her crows was flying through it. - I was in Salem, you know. - There's a single man down there! - No, dude, it's. - That's a hard thing. - You get to a point where you're just always, you're resenting the person 'cause you're just looking at the screen all the time. I don't wanna be doing that. - Are you FaceTiming with this guy all the time? - Yeah. - That's tough. - Handsome man. - Well, yeah, he's gotta be. - Well, there's all that downtime, right? When you run out of shit to talk about and you're just like, "No, I'm just mad." 'Cause so much of a relationship is also just like, you watch a movie together sometimes and there's those times where you don't, you know. - Well, I don't really care. I like being alone. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, that's her thing. - Now, when you choose a movie with your girlfriend, who makes the decision? - Oh, she picks the worst fucking, I have to pretend like I've seen all of her movies. She'll be like, "We should watch 'Marie Antoinette'." And I'll be like, "I just saw it." I just watched it. I'd love to, but yeah, she lets me pick more movies. - Now, do you guys watch bad TV together? - Sometimes, but it's more, she always wants to watch like weird artsy movies, which I love, so. - Oh, that's great. That's a huge win. - She's into that. - That's good, that's good. - You know what's back, by the way? I'm caught up, are you? - Yeah, I'm caught up. - What? - The Great British Baking Show. - You like the season? - Ooh, I like that. - Yeah, 'cause me and my cousin, my cousin comes over to the house and we watch it together, me, my wife, my cousin, and we do draft night. - He's the guy with the amazing eyes, right? - Paul Hollywood? - Paul Hollywood, yeah. - He's like a wolf. - He's the man. - He's a man, pure man. - But we do draft night. We draft our picks to who's gonna win the Great British Baking Off. Yeah, we put a little wager on it. It's really, really fun. - You know what I like about this? If you go to the Olly Market now, you can probably bet on them. - I don't know, we do it at the house just for fun, but yes, I'm sure Kalshi has that bet up right now. - Yeah. - Who, do you got a horse in the race? - No, but there's a couple of people in the show that I have confidence in. - I have a guy, I already, I know my team. - I know that guy. - My team is stacked. - I know that guy. - By the way, there was a girl, I'm not giving anything away. It's been out for long enough, you should know, but there was a girl, there's a girl in a wheelchair who, on the very first episode, is getting a cake out of the oven and drops it. - Yeah. - And it's the, Carlos. - The first time that happened, yeah. - Carlos. - You're a fucking piece of shit, dude. - You're a piece of shit, dude. - Someone should have helped her. I was laughing at that guy who didn't. - Help her do what? - Take some out of the oven. She's in a wheelchair, she can't be doing that. - She can't, they can do anything you can do. - They can do everything you can do. - Except for walk. - Yeah, except for stare. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, guys. - You know what I like about that show is everyone is so nice. - I know. - They're all British. - But the British judges in America are assholes. - Yeah, that's right. When they come here, they change. - When they come here, they change. Well, on that show, they'll be like, "I'm sorry, your loaf was just a little overcooked." And they're hugging each other. You're like, "Oh my God, it's beautiful." - Well, what's crazy, 'cause there's no prize. They don't win money on that show. It's just for pride. One of the guys is a fucking pediatric doctor. - Whoa. - And there's no money to be made. So I think it removes the pressure and the tension. - You take top three though, you could have a career. - But a lot of them don't really, they just, it's obvious. - Remember that one season, Paul Hollywood got that kid into- - Two handshakes that guy got. - Yeah, but he also got him into a- - Into a restaurant. - A five-star restaurant. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - A Michelin restaurant. - Michelin restaurant, yeah. - Like Last Comic Standing or something. It's like, you get a little bump from it. - Yeah, somehow Last Comic Standing is more sad. I don't even know why. - Yeah, yeah. - And this one is emotionally sad. That one is just terrible. - Chopped is also like, there's so many episodes now. I don't even know if it gives you a boost if you're on that show. - No. By the way, did you audition for Last Comic Standing? - I was on it. - Oh, you did it. - And I did America's Got Talent. - Yeah, I remember the AGT thing, but you had talked about, you're like, I'm gonna go pop off in Who Gives a Shit just to do it. - Yeah. - You did it? - It was- - When? - I don't remember you did Last Comic Standing. - I was on, I didn't make it far. - Who were the judges? - Keenan, Roseanne, and Norm, and Jeselnik was the host. - Norm though, huge. - He shouted out one of my jokes. - Wow. - So I had a joke where I said my last girlfriend was a hoarder and she broke up with me, which stung extra hard. I'm like the one thing she can get rid of. She killed and Norm was like, that joke is gold. So that felt like, that was like the world to me that Norm liked it. Roseanne was very nice to me too. Keenan kind of dug me a little bit. - Okay. - But Keenan knows you, 'cause you know what I mean, right? - No, I don't know Keenan. - Oh, I thought you knew him. - Keenan Ivory Wayans. I know Keenan Thompson. - Oh, I thought it was Keenan Thompson. - No, I know, sorry. - Oh, it was Keenan Ivory Wayans. - Oh yeah. - He didn't really like me as much and- - He only likes Wayanses. You gotta be one of the Wayanses to get in love. - There's 53 of them, so you know. - I like how they made Roseanne look like a human for a second. - Wow. - But it was cool. Yeah, I remember he took a shot at me a little bit. He was like, yeah, some of your jokes were good, some of the others weren't. I said, well, I loved all the scary movie films and it got a big pop. - That's so funny. - So when I got off stage, I remember Norm like found me and he goes, I liked the shit on him. - Wow. - Yeah, that was a cool, So even though I got sent home, I was like, yeah, it was cool. Did you spend any other time with Norm at all? I only met him a couple of times. I met him once at Caroline's and he was very nice. But yeah, I only met him a couple of times. And then AGT was awful. It was like an awful experience. I had, Gary Veeder, my friend went on with Howard Stern. I'm like, oh, I think I would have done really well with Stern. I made a couple rounds, but Simon Cowell was a judge. He loved me in round one. If you see the cut of it, I follow a Jewish rap group. And would you believe it didn't work? They were called Beastie Boys or something like that? No, but Simon was like, you're terrible. You should quit the business. You should kill yourself. And I was like, oh my God, I had to follow this. And then I crushed, I don't know why. I was in like the Pasadena in this like 5,000 seater, every joke. They built me up in a good way. So I kill and I got a standing O on the show. And the way they cut it, I told one joke that was, it was like an old joke. I was like, I'm just thinking of clean jokes. It was like, I was in the elevator. I farted and I laughed because that's funny, you know? But then the door opened and a beautiful woman came on. I was like, not funny anymore. But then the door opened. I got off. She closes again. She's stuck with a fart. Funny again. Funny, yeah. The way they cut it, I got a standing O after that joke. So it just looked fucking ridiculous. I'm telling a fart joke and you just see like Heidi Klum and Mel B like. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And Simon was like inspired. Like he loved me. And then the next round, I followed like some, you feel bad for these people. They're fucking like having their dancers. They have to stretch and shit. I could go on drunk. Yeah. I'm watching like a, there's like a couple next to me. They're like, you know, two, this fat couple from Atlantic city. They're like dancing Mambo number five. And I'm like, I'm getting like anxiety. I'm texting my mom and I'm like, I can't fuck. I can't even focus. My mom goes, read a book. And I'm like, there's a parrot screaming next to me. Like I can't read. And, uh, I remember the next one, they put me on it like midnight after a crowd. That's been there for like 12 hours. And, and, and Simon's like, yeah, the, the crowd seemed a little tired tonight. And I was like. It's midnight. Yeah. So yeah, I didn't move on. Yeah. You, you held them captive inside a theater for 12 hours. That was a tough, I remember the guy moved on with this amazing, uh, mime named tape face. Oh, tape face. I saw that guy. He's unbelievable. I've seen that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a totally different thing. It's like chaplain ass, but unbelievable, but you know. Yeah. He was great. He's, he's gotta be a Vegas act by now or something, right? I think he's big time. Yeah. He was very nice guy. Yeah. He exploded from that fucking shot. You guys want to do a bit with this? It's supposed to be mine. Feed it. Give it to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to eat the cat sandwich. Here you go. Here you go. Cat sandwich. It's very funny. This is where our budget's going by the way, half of the time. Whenever you want to know where our budget is. I do want to take this home to my dog though. This is very cute. That is cute. Might not be dog friendly. What does that mean? With what's inside. What, what's inside? If it's like little balls or something. Little balls? Yeah. Like. Does it feel like there's balls in there? Yeah. Little tiny balls. Well, she can rip it open and spray them everywhere. I was over at Adam Ray's house this morning. I got to tell you the funniest thing I've ever seen. His dog, I felt something on my shoe and I was like, what is on my fucking shoe? I looked down, his dog goes, little tiny dog goes into their little garden and grabs rocks and she chews on rocks and then puts them on your shoe. That's so cute. I know, but I was like, get it a ball. It's going to crack its fucking teeth on rocks. He's like, nah, she doesn't really like the balls as much as she liked the rocks. I'm like, is this Cam Patterson as a fucking dog? My ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Is your dog Cam Patterson? She literally kept putting it on my shoe and then I'd pick it up and I'd throw it away. 10 minutes later, I'd find another rock in the garden and bring it up. It's this big. Wow. It was chewing on rocks. Yeah. I was like, Adam, you got to train this thing not to chew on rocks. Yeah. It's going to. It's going to die. Yeah, dude. You can't eat rocks. You can eat rocks. Yeah. Yeah. I'm prone to it. Her mom let Julio to bite my girlfriend again. Julio bit your girlfriend again? Yep. That's like the third bite. Yeah. And then look right here. Look right here. He bit me. That's Julio again? Yeah. I had to push him away. He bit me. And I'm like, why is this? Julio is their groundskeeper. Yeah. I was thinking about calling eyes, but the biting is light, you know? He's just biting everybody. Dude, that's crazy that he's keep biting people. Yeah. You got to do something about it. I know. We got to do something. Why do you do this? You train him to bite? No. Yeah, you fucking do. I don't. She's got a little tiny bobby. My kid. Yeah. There's a guy who lives in my neighborhood. This dog always fucking attacks when you see him on the street. It's aggressive dog. I don't like it. What kind of dog is it? It's a big fucking dog. Wow. I don't like that shit. No. You know what's so funny? Is everyone wants you to be comfortable with their dogs. I think as a dog person, you got to know not everybody wants to fucking see, touch, be around your dog. I love dogs. I just don't want to get bit. Yeah, me too. But also, I don't know if I love your dog. I love dogs. I don't know if I love your dog. That's how I feel all the time. Like people, I guess. Yeah, 100%. I don't. I would love one. Get one. You deserve a dog. I might get one at some point. But he's on the road so much. What's he going to do with it? Isn't it enough enough, man? What are you talking about? We get to go on the road all the time. When was it? We get to take a break. He's a professional comedian. That's why. What? Me too. If she moves in, maybe I'll do a dog. You need someone to be the dog. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Have you pitched that to the kid? No, but that would be a cool surprise, right? That'd be great. My God. Yeah. You buy the kid a dog? But that's a commitment. The kid or the dog? The dog. Yeah. Yeah. Kids you can get rid of. Dogs are forever. Yeah, but the dog is a commitment. Yeah. Yeah. I think you got to do that. No, but you're committed now to the relationship almost in a weird way. I think, yeah, you see it. You see it. I mean, right. It's a big, like moving in. Once you say I love you to the kid. Yeah. What are you going to do? Break his heart? No, because my ex, what links me to my ex is our animals. It's not the same thing. It is not? No, they're going to die. This is a kid that's going to grow up and this is like a father figure that comes by. That's right. That's right. Oh, dude, we got into a fight once where she said she found an ex-girlfriend's robe of mine and I was like, she's like, what the fuck is this? And I was like, it's a robe. It's an ex-girlfriend. She was like, and I was like, you got stuff from your last relationships. And she said like, what? I said, like that fucking kid I brought to the Knicks game the other day. Oh, wow. Yeah. I love that. But I mean, you know. I love that. That's so good, dude. But I mean, you know, yeah, if we get to that place where it's stable, yeah. I love dogs, dude. My ex had an awesome dog. I love that dog. Do you got to go through, when you first started dating her and you have to go through your house to get out your ex's shit from everywhere? Did you do that sweep? No. Clearly I didn't do a good job. I did a sweep, but she left so much shit there that I was just like, I missed a couple of things. That's the Costanza. She's planting evidence, dude. She's leaving it behind to be found. But she was yelling at me for this stuff. And then I see her using, I go, did you just use like one of those creams you found from her? And she goes, yeah. I go, can't fucking yell at me about that. That's true. You're using the creams. You use the creams, you can't scream. How desolate and funny does it get when you're in a relationship and she has all her fancy shampoos and washes and everything, and then when you break up and then you have what in there? Just a bar of soap? Why do I have Frederic Fekai in my fucking shower? What the hell is this shit? Did you ever go, you got to try this skin product on your face. I don't want to try your shit. Oh my God. Women see one fucking five minute window where you sit in the couch and they're like, can I start popping your blackheads? You're like, can I just sit there? No. No. Blackheads I don't do. They need to be activated, dude. They love that. I love blackheads. They love popping blackheads. I have a blackhead right here. No, don't show me. I don't want to see it. I have a blackhead right here, dude. Do you? Yeah. That's fucking gross. It's pure black. It's the best kind. Phantom. Anyway. It's phantom black. What did we learn today? Rudy, what did you learn? That Tito Bobby hates him. And Sam is from London. That's right. London. Yeah, very good. Liverpool is actually Liverpool. Gay. And gay. Yeah. He's not gay. Yeah. All right. Sign us off, Rudy, in that camera. Do it. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you. From engravable pieces, to festive charms, to lab-grown diamonds, Pandora's jewelry is made for the ones who inspire you, who've been there through it all. 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