Small Brained American Goes To Somaliland | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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It's a country that's not a country we've never done that before on. Get it! Get it! Get it! Oh! Not interested. Get up, get up. Guys, the Patreon is back. Patreon.com/jubychipin. Every week, we're going to have an ad-free version of the podcast that you can get for one of the tears. Also, every single episode of Skeptitank is going up there. It might not be up already, but it's little by little. We're putting them all up. It's a painstaking process. Neon is taking a break from her. I try to launch communism in the United States to help that go. Go to patreon.com/jubychipin. We also have updates on the five finalists for the trip around the world. That is imminent. And just pretty much message boards and everything else. It's the best way to support the pod besides subscribing and leaving a comment and reaching out to the guests as always. And today's guest, small-brained American. Let's start. Bonjour Somali land. Here's what I found. If you don't care about quality, you really just need a good backdrop. That's fair. Yeah. Just we. We're in Paris. We, we. Dude, great to see you. Likewise, buddy. Welcome to UB Chip and everybody. It's the only podcast in the world that has both white people and black people. Not on the same episode. I guess today's small-brained American, who is, and if you know this, you won an award last time you were on. Really? Yeah, I'd give out trivia words. I did not know this. I don't have it here with me. It's an actual award. What? Yeah. Alan Green screen this in. Thank you, sir. Yeah. It's a most adventurous Myanmar. Wow, no way. Hell yeah. Yeah. Wow, thanks. Yeah, two years running. Not you didn't win two years running, but I've done it two years in a row. Okay. Yeah, I made little trophies. We'll try to get a third or a second. Second, yeah. Where we're in Paris. If you can tell of the backdrop, if you're watching on Spotify or YouTube, please give it a subscribe. But yeah, we like to do one of these outside. I was going to do a essay in the weather. It was perfect. But who's going to wake up at 7 a.m. to go do that in front of the Eiffel Tower. Yeah. Connor, where do you want to talk about? All right, so we're at a bit of a crossroads. Yeah. We could talk about Japan and before anybody booze me. Why would they boo for that? Well, it's I feel like Japan. My glasses keep going. Yeah. I feel like Japan has become a bit of a basic bitch destination, unfortunately. And I feel very strongly about Japan. I love it. Interesting. I live there for a year. I taught English. I was in the generate alcoholic. I had tons of tons of fun there. But yeah, I feel like now six years or eight years after I have lived there, it seems like it's being taken over by like suburban mom. Like my mom is like asking me to plan. Everybody can go. And I'm like, is it fun anymore now? Or am I like am I thinking about it too much or I don't know? I need so it's like burning man with people like it's over now all the actors are there, but then people would go there go. You don't even see the actors. There's there's there's a hundred fifty actors and eighty thousand other people. You see him. You see him in Tokyo. Okay. But that wasn't my experience. I mean, I live there for a year. Just be Japanese. A little bit. I could I mean, I when I moved there, I like was determined to not learn any. I was like, they'll speak my language. Yeah. But slowly, but surely I would go out to the bars and like, converse with people and I learned a decent amount. Yeah. I can like chat shit. I can really call you gay and retarded and stuff and like. It's key important detail. Yeah. Wow. That's fucking cool. It was okay. Yeah. It was fun man. It is becoming baseless. So where do you want to talk about that? Well, okay. Could do that though. We could do it. Yeah. I have a lot of stories from Japan. Yeah. But also we can talk about Somali land. Oh. I feel like it's more adventurous. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, okay. Also, I met a guy in Guatemala, one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He he was a jazz musician named, named Fuck. I don't remember. And he was there. He's studied with Witten Marseilles. And he goes, he took me under his wing and taught me jazz and whatever. And I'm here. And you know Guatemala. You've been. No. Oh, so like a Wonton Don talks about this, like an area where it's all like yoga and like breath work people and ecstatic dance people. You know what I'm talking about. I think my buddy seal on tour went there. Okay. I need like, did mushrooms. I think it's a good mushroom place. I've done mushrooms here a few times. But there's one city parade. What's he called? Bray. Is it look okay? It looks great. I mean, you look like Super Mario brother actually. Yeah, that's that's kind of better. Okay. And now you're not going to get a weird. Is it accentuating my receding hairline? No, now you got nothing. Bro, who are you even talking to? Relax. You're a fucking full head of hair. You have the most hair I've ever seen in a few minutes. I get so many comments like turkey hair transplant vlog. When? I'll go. Oh, yeah. Okay. Somebody really? Yeah. I'm afraid of asking for a discount for that important assertive. Hey, oh, yes. Yes, that's true. It is a life altering permanent. Yeah. If it's like, it can be my restaurant, I'll give it to you free. Oh, sure. Okay. But it's like, if I get a bad meal, but whatever. I'm like, I want somebody who's actually very well skilled and I'm like, it's like the new tattoo artist. It's like, oh, I'll do it for free. And you're like, maybe wait a year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. So I met this guy. He talked about everyone else there. He called them pseudo spiritual narcissists. That's a good time. The coolest guy who's setting up an orphanage, the place closed orphanage slash coffee shop. He was the coolest guy I've ever seen. Yeah, I've ever ever met. He was like, follow me. I got a place. He was dressed all in the Somali gear like the, you know, and then he was telling him the most of me shit, but it was like, follow me. And you're going on these hours. I'm like, fuck, I'm too deep in to be able to go. Oh, no, man, I'm good. And I'm glad I didn't. He was just the coolest. What did you guys made that Turkish kind of coffee, you know, and the little thing that goes out. And then he's like, don't worry about it. I was like, well, for the orphans and then I remember my friend Kevin Ryan from another podcast. He's, he gave me 300 bucks. He's like, give it to who you think he was going to need this. So I give a guy a hundred dollars. I came back. I was like, hey, I was, I was, you got me high. So I wasn't thinking straight, but this guy would want me to give it to you. He goes, no, many blessings for you. You were, you were a great man. Many blessings. All I love, all I love. And I was like, all right, I give it to the right guy. Yeah. How did you feel about that as a Jew? Totally fine. I love it. I need some good. I need some good. Yeah. It's like getting called the N word by a black person. Nice. I made it. But he told me Somali land is where you want to go. He goes, fuck Somalia. Somali land is the jam because it's a different place. Not recognized. Not recognized by the human, but recognized by Israel. Interesting. In fact, one of the first countries ever to recognize Somal land. Interesting. Yeah. And what is it? Somal land is a breakaway state of Somalia. They like, they were occupied by the Brits. Yeah. And then I'm going to fuck this up. But it's okay. This pack is all about getting things wrong. They basically were occupied or like it was a protectorate. So not quite a colony. They would send them remittances, remittances or whatever. And I can't fuck, I can't remember for the life of me. I had it down so good when I was there. But basically like they split up. I think Italy controlled Somalia. And then England controlled Somali land. I might have been mixing that up. And then when they became one country when they got independence from their colonizers, they became one country. And then like two years later, Somali land was like, fuck this, we're out. And so it's basically like that. Everyone's like, we already did it. We're not doing this again. We're not doing our maps. So you're staying? Dude, I think it's just political. I don't know. I don't know why they're not recognized. I'm not sure. Okay. But it's a fully functioning state. They have their money. government, they vote, I think they might vote. - Does Somalia not have a government? - It's like, yeah, it's like gangs. It's like a Haiti or something, I think. I had a few friends ago, but it's like a failed state, bro. So Somalia land actually, you know, the roads are, you know, kind of paved-ish and, you know, things people get along fine and it's peaceful. They were bombed as shit in the 1980s. Like Somalia went in there and like, just leveled the capital, just completely destroyed it. So it's like, basically a genocide happens, like in the last 40 years. - Somalia went into Somalia land. - Yeah, they're home because they broke off. - I don't know, it's probably something that I'm missing, but there's like all these monuments around the capital. - At least they made monuments. - That's true. - That's true. - Can't really, monuments is a sign of, like, things are going better. - Yeah, I guess, yeah, they have, they're like big bomber planes in the capital. You can like go look at the bombers. It's like, yeah, they bombed us with this, you know? - Wow. - Cool. - Wait, when'd you go? How long ago? - Seven, eight months ago. - Oh, wow, you just went. - Yeah. - So, okay, so what'd you get into? - Well, I was only there, oh, first Paris rat. I don't know if you saw that. - Oh, I know. - I haven't seen a rat this whole time. - Yeah, two of you. - Damn. - What did I get into? Well, I was overlanding. - Someone go out after a pigeon. - What? - There's a bunch of pigeons and some baby ones and some rats just kept trying to chase them. - And I was like, dude, no, I'm in front of it. - Why would the rat chase the pigeon? - To eat it. - But isn't the pigeon higher up on the food chain? It's like bigger? - I don't know. - They have the beaks. Anyways. - Yeah. - Let's go ahead. I was overlanding Africa. East Africa, I was trying to look for like, I don't know, I just need a reason to make like a big series. So I did like early human migrations. Three, East Africa. - Interesting. - So I started in-- - There was a big fucking rat. - Did you see that? - Where was it? - Oh, dude, it was something-- - Oh, dude, it was huge. - Okay, so I'm getting distracted. - No, it's fair. - There it is, there it is, there it is. - No, it's a New York regular. That's a, that's a, like, that's, that might be a mouse. - Like a field nice. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But that one was huge. That was a New York style. - That was big. - When I was in Edinburgh, my roommate one time and goes, "Look at this giant onion I found." And it was like that big. And I was like, "What?" And I was like, "Oh, no GMOs in this country." - Okay, all right. - All right. - So you're doing an overland thing, okay? - Yeah, I just wanted to start in, like, the cradle of mankind and, where was I, Tanzania. I went to, like, the first footsteps of mankind. Like, you can see, like, where mankind started to walk upright. - Oh wow. - And you can see, and the ash, it was closed, of course. Africa is just such a fucking disaster. But, I mean, it's probably my own damn fall. I shouldn't blame Africa. But, anyways, did that start it there? And then I was just gonna overland through, like, into Asia. 'Cause, I mean, that's, like, one prominent theory is, like, that's how humans spread into the world. Was they started in East Africa? - Started in Africa, East Africa. Somalia, where else is there? - Tanzania, Ethiopia, Kenya, Somalia, Eritrea. - Eritrea, which I, that's kind of like Somalia land. That was Ethiopia. And then they're, like, we're on our own thing now. - No, it was Italian. So maybe it was Somalia, actually. Eritrea, 'cause you can have pizza in Eritrea, apparently. It's supposed to be good. - We're trying to explain to my Burmese, like, backpacker guide or whatever, like, hiker guide, what pizza is. And it was, like, bread, sauce, cheese. He's like, "What's the last thing?" And I'm like, "Cheese." And he's like, "I don't, what is that?" Like, do you have milk? And he's like, "Yeah." And I'm like, "Cheese." And he's like, "I don't know what you're talking about, dude." - But they have cows in Burma. - I know. This villager had never had cheese. - That's sad. - It's very sad. - Pizza's the most common, how deep were you in this, were you like in the sticks? - In the sticks. - Yeah. - Okay. - Did you show them a picture of cheese? - Yeah, we all showed them like, this is what pizza is like, interesting. No. It's not like, it wasn't like, oh yeah, the translation, "Oh, cheese, I think you meant tays." No, it was like, "No, I don't know what the, "why would milk be like stringin' like that?" - You like, ferment cows, but that's disgusting. Why are you? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So it started there, mankind started there, and then moved? - Well, they're finding, they're always finding yellow and white. - They're always finding new, like fossil remains or some in Siberia, there's some in like Indonesia, like, but they're different offshoots of homo erectus, homo sapiens, whatever the fuck. (laughing) - I like that word. - Homo, australia, pithicus, whatever the fuck. Anyways, but homo sapiens started in, the main theory is I started in like Tanzania, Kenya, like East Africa. So I went to like, the go-to-go-to crater, it's like, I don't know, it's supposed to be really fertile, they have like all these animals. And it took us so far away, but I just wanted a guy to drive me to the footsteps and they're fucking close. And you know how tour guides are? I don't know if you've ever like, got a tour guide on the spot in a country, but they'll always tell you, like, "Fine, my friend, no problem, we go, "we go, no problem, $100, fine." - And so we go, like, fucking eight hours in the bush and he's like, "That's close, sorry, buddy." (laughing) - They already gotcha. - They did get me. - And then like, it's not, it's gonna be other work today. You're the only possible job. So like, better get him, maybe he'll be like, fuck off, he didn't take it, but the odds are like, he'll always pay me. - Yeah, and they'll have me alone in the bush. It's not like I can fucking have him stand on. - Fine, get back yourself. - Yeah, good luck. - Power move. - Go migrate back, bitch. - That's a movie. - Yeah. - A guy doesn't wanna pay his fucking notes. Close it, I'm not going. He's like, then no, I'm not taking it back. He's like, bro, you gotta take it back. Then give me the fucking money. - Yeah, I'm off steaming, like fuck this white guy. I'm done with all these people, just leave him. - Yeah, I have to like, find my way back on horseback. I have to like, wife a little, you know, child. (laughs) - A little village. - Sire of son. - Okay. So, and then how'd you get to Somali land? - So yeah, I started there, did the footsteps, and then I just-- - I just got sucked sometimes. - Yeah, and I hate having to take a tour. It ruins the fun, but like, some places, man, you just gotta have one. Some places, I'm trying to redo it in my head now, 'cause I'm always like, no, no tours, no tours. But sometimes it's like, no, it's like a, it's like a, it's not a tour guy, like you're on a tour with a bunch of fucking white, like, retirees and hicks. It's not bad, it's like, I can get you a new place you can't get into. - Yeah. - It's kind of like Indiana Jones' guy, the Pakistani guy. - It is valuable. - Yeah. I know how to talk, I know who agrees. - Like a fixer kind of. - A fixer, that's better than a tour guy. It definitely feels a little more elevated. I'm not with those nasty whites, I'm. - Yeah, it was like, how'd you find them? Like, just Google. This is a pamphlet at the hotel. - It's on my Instagram. (laughs) But anyways, yeah, fucking went out there, and then I took like a bus to, what's the next country? Kenya, to local bus. - It's the biggest continent that scares me away. How dangerous, so we talk about, in real terms, danger. Like guy with a knife trying to stab you, dangerous, or. - Guy with a knife trying to stab you. You're not gay, so no burn me alive. You're not a witch, so no burn me alive. - Yeah. - You don't do, okay, there's that. So-so. - Yeah, I don't know. - Okay. - I think it'd be fine, I'm just going around. - Okay. - It is fun in some of these countries, Egypt. They don't really know what we look like. 'Cause they really got us gone. - So you can kind of blend in, 'cause I like them. - What do you mean they really got you going? - Well, like in Egypt, we just left. It was bad, I don't know. - Jews were in Egypt. - Yeah, yeah, and we took off, never came back. And now they're like, I heard this Jews around here. You're like, oh, I've heard that too. - Yeah, where are they? - I don't know. Like you don't have horns, so you're not one of them. - Huh. - But you could look Greek, or- - I could. - I could. - Yeah. - In America, obviously I'm Jewish. - You could even be Egyptian. I don't know, Harry. - I can. - Yeah, maybe. - I don't even see like models like in India. You'll be like in the sticks, and you'll just see like a big add and there'll be like a white face. And I'm like, oh, American model. I'm like, no, that's Indian. - Yeah, right. So you never know. - Hey everybody, it's time to break in to tell you about the guests. Small Brain American. He's a great travel, legitimately a great travel. You guys will love him. Please follow him. Small Brain American on YouTube. Small Brain American on Instagram. He's also got the small brain pod that I've been on, and I'm going to be on again in five weeks. We do a second episode of this podcast with the two of us, plus Rolf Pots, plus sabbatical. All together in Paris, where, ah, you'll see. We'll talk about it in the episode. And he talked about it too. We did from a cafe out there. Small Brain, dude. Conner's a fucking cool dude. Please reach out to him on Instagram. Please let him know you enjoyed this episode. Send him a DM. Send him a DM and I'm like, oh yeah, I got you. I got you. And let him know you enjoyed it. Hope you're more likely to come back. And please give him a follow too. His videos are crazy. And right now he's got an Afghanistan video. We talked about it on this episode of him going to Afghanistan. And then this motherfucker went. So if you go to youtube.com/@smallbrainamerican. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. You can see. Go go. His video on Afghanistan. God, who goes to fucking Afghanistan, besides Julio Galerotti and some real, real fucking crazy people. Go check it out. Leave a comment. Say you got there from the UB trippin' bud. So who'll know? I saw it. I came here because you look good in a beret. I got to be dumb with this. I'm going to go back to Yankees. This is stupid. All right? Squish out my top number for Yankees. Guys, I got the Patreon going. That's my big announcement for the day. Obviously, subscribe and leave a comment for the algorithm. But patreon.com/subitrippin. We're going to put up every episode of Skeptic Tank. It's going up a little by little right now. I guess we'll start with the oldest. It might be one where I got to like re-upload every single one. So it's going to take a few weeks to get going, but start with the beginning. One of the listeners out there. found the old desk one. So we'll put up stuff that's been lost for, I mean, a decade or more. Start with those and we'll just move forward and get them all up. We're also going to have an ad-free version of every episode of UB Trippin. So yeah, it's about to get that skipping-setting bump. Go support! We're taking that money, interestingly enough, and we're using it to send someone on a trip around the world. I might make a shame or timidilla money, but I am making okay money there. I'm taking it with you guys's help directly towards sending somebody on a one-year trip just to see the fucking world. They're going to weigh in here there not much and we're just going to like live by carelessly through them. Got down to the last five finalists and we'll talk about it all in the UB Trippin Patreon. That's it everybody. Let's get back to Somali land. This is such a fucking cool place to have gone. It's one of those that got in my head. I'll talk about more in the outro and then it can't leave my head when he said he's been there. I'm like that's the one we're doing. Then that's what we'll talk about. A guy like that's been everywhere. So you've got to like choose when and why to do any certain one. Alright, let's get back to the episode. Let me fucking switch this. Rouge! I don't- Rouge! Who got to do a premiere? Anyway, the real danger in terms of packing stolen on a bus, stabbed or held up by Gunner Knife Point or full-on just like odds of like- I think the danger is real but it's kind of like you've been to Columbia. It's kind of like Columbia where like yeah you know they got some stuff to work on as far as like safety and there are some good arguments to admit Columbia is getting worse by the news but I think by and large the people there feel really shitty about it and they're gonna try to like like in Columbia like I got robbed a couple times. You did a couple times. When? 2021. I just went they said that talked to Columbia and every other person were just in the north in like the national park or whatever. Every other person had a robbery or my friend got robbed story and then the Colombian check at the house that was like oh no it's regressing. We all feel like it's going back to the 80s. I think COVID fucked it up. They didn't let people work for like six months. So then they got desperate. Yeah Venezuelans came in whatever or I don't know if that's you know racist. No they came everywhere. Peruvians were like get fucking rid of these Venezuelans. It's crazy. I was in Chicago and I was at this CVS just trying to buy a pack or like buy a beer or something. All locked up and I had to go ask for permission. I was like why is this lock and he's like Mexican guys like the Venezuelans are fucking. All right bro. Red pill. Yeah. We got a Trump supporter here. I love the Latino and Latino hate. So racist. Yeah and you're like right I guess I'll I'm listening. Yeah. I'm listening. I'm giving you space. No but I guess um yeah Africa does have real danger but like I said I met a few really kind individuals that like were like my guardian angels where you know I was on a bus and like go across the border to Kenya or I have in Kenya I'm filming. This is a big thing in Africa is bro filming like they have so many issues with like dictatorships and like censorship and like not giving Africa a bad reputation so they're like really really self-conscious about like what you film. So when I was crossing the border I just I'm just be better sorry go ahead. Yeah but don't worry about my film just be better and then it won't it won't matter. I'm documenting I'm not it's an unedited video like what the fuck do you yeah I mean I do take some liberties but it's not like I'm followed small brain American on YouTube right now. But I mean so anyways across the border fucking oh also small brain pockets. Small brain pockets as well that I better you start with my episode and move on from there. There you go. The episodes possibly. Um crossing the border meter really nice guy in Tanzania he has dual citizenship he's like hey I'll take your cross the border no problem his name was like a son I think I can't fucking remember really really nice guy takes me across the border he's like I'll wait for you on the other side I'm like cool bet no problem and I was like by the way I film here I'm a youtuber is this okay and he's like it's fine so I'm filming the border and it's like actually nice like the border area on the Kenyan side was way nicer than the Tanzanian side and so get across the border and this guy is shouting me like hey hey hey and I'm like it's begun dude the Africa that they warned me about is right here like this is I mean I have friends who have gone uh to film stuff there Harry Jagger my my buddy youtuber had a lot of issues in Africa I mean it's just notorious for you know they just don't want you to film shit it's different than it because India is like okay it's a shithole I can film here I can clown on them it's okay I can like I'm not gonna go to jail I'm not gonna it's like a democracy pretty much Africa is like they don't even fuck around like bitch now get out. I'll say you know I India they don't care I can't film a smell the worst parts won't show up unless you break stink lines but that's on you in editing they're like it's so beautiful yeah right sure yeah show the video looks beautiful yeah but so fucking we get across the border anyways he's trying to get a bribe out of me and I'm like playing hardball you know for all the shit I give India they actually did it's tough it toughens you up you gotta go man I know last time I was like don't go now I'm kind of like go what makes you a better traveler it makes you tough dude can I go somewhere else and get that though India is just a it's like it's like gonna go to stands and get that I know but also okay we're gonna keep going in Africa second but isn't India also the same shit you're talking about Japan and probably Thailand too where it's like it's the fucking easy Instagram way I don't know dude India's pretty rough dude India's pretty rough even the Taj Mahal like you turn the camera around yeah bro beggars kitchen in the street like dirty rivers cows eating trash it's hell on earth and I'm actually no one's ever sold me on it I have actively trying to go back so maybe don't air this until I get my visa okay okay yeah let me know when it is you guys you got a couple months they do band people really yeah my buddy sealant or I don't think he can go back he's like talk shit yeah but not even as much as me who just like oh it's got it's problems but I like it he actually likes India and they wouldn't let him go back wow well he's gonna point out the bad that's that's part of I mean what am I supposed to do go make fucking propaganda this is a whole other thing YouTube dude these governments haven't caught on to what the fuck we're doing I'm like tourist visa and then I go in and just film and make money in the country and leave yeah and I'm like being a journalist maybe and like maybe mining them yes yes it's it's got it they've got to like like Indonesia now has a like I don't know if they have a legit influencer visa but it's something that you have to like if you do a paid promo about like a hotel or whatever in India or Indonesia you have you like you pay tax on it whoa yeah they're gonna catch you up dude it's only a matter of time I heard there's a lot of coffee shops now in restaurants going hey no influencers no lights no lighting anything like that's banned you're fucking everything up especially in France Paris where we are yeah my gym and in Indo didn't allow tripods yeah blows bro I had it at least the tripod it used to be just those douche bags were like just looking at the mirror look at the camera that she's a man Alan take take liberties with what you do here take a big liberties Alan fucking no dude I saw a girl in Indonesia nice she sounds fit yeah yeah fucking bitch dude she was standing in the mirror like just posing like this literally standing totally so and she had a timer phone on a tripod yeah and then a phone time in her I think she was like in a beauty pageant because she was like bikini like ripped shredded just like holding it down in the mirror bro that's the always I was just like what what are we doing do this at home why do you need to go show this off like don't you have a mirror it's the it's the full-length mirror it gets because my I have a great old friend I love to you you're missing this everybody passing by taking pictures of us yeah yeah they think we're somebody yeah or hopefully it's that and I like look at these douche bags it's making a park space yeah we are kind of crowded I'm assuming that come I'm like no no go but you're fine go ahead yeah um that me and Rolf did a podcast here last year where a lady sat on the bench the whole time with us and read a book on the same benches you yeah she just plopped down as we were recording and just fucking it's great it was great yeah yeah I started doing this before anybody was doing this so people like what's the microphone for it was like a like a curiosity and cool like can I say hi and then be like hi america all right that was fun you know wow um what the fuck are we talking oh I know my grito from better it says once you like lift weights you're a swole as you're gonna look so people want to look in that mirror right then true you're at your best true true and the lighting on a lot of gyms yeah it's like from the top so you get you cast a shadow and you're like oh yeah big today yeah yeah yeah so uh anyways uh fucking small land yeah yeah yeah yeah uh we're off India so yeah we get it yeah that was we went yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah my friends this podcast um get across the border guys trying to bribe me or like get a bribe out of me I'm like standing on my ground because of India and I'm like no fuck off and he's like I'll arrest you and I was like all the rest you okay well how much how much are we talking and um my buddy the Tanzanian Kenyan guy comes across a border he slips in like two bucks boom done through the border all good and then my fucking stupid bitch fucking medical person in america like I got this stupid fucking vaccine to go to east africa like yellow fever or something and it's in like French and it's like the IDP like the international drivers the transfer was permanent, they translate. This medical document or all these languages, I got it at this travel clinic, it was fucking expensive dude, it was like, I got ripped off, it was probably like 300 bucks for all my shots, yellow fever, typhoid, whatever the fuck, I got the whole thing, it was a scam, and then she didn't check the fucking typhoid or the yellow fever box, so I go to cross the board and it's like, you don't have your yellow fever effects, but you did have it. I did have it, she tried to fuck me because I was being a little stick in the much, she's one of those ladies who's like sitting behind a desk and she's like, never left the US, Bahamas maybe, Miami if she's feeling exotic. Wait, where was this lady? In a fucking Atlanta, like I was leaving to go the next day and I was like, in a rush, I needed to get shots, and she's like, obviously never left the US, she's like, well, it looks like, you know, you need this shot, this shot, this shot, this shot, and I was like, well I'm looking at the CDC, whatever the fuck, it says there's not an outbreak, I think I'm good, I was like pushing back a little bit, she wanted me to fucking rabies vaccine dude, it was like $800, she wanted me to spend like $1,200 bucks for stuff that I probably don't even need. Can I say this too? I had to get some vaccine, we've met it talked about this in our Burma in our Myanmar episode, but it was two weeks apart or something like that, so I got the first two in America, and then I was like, I got to find, and I was like, I don't know where I'm going to be in Myanmar, so, and they were cool, like we'll help you find clinics wherever, and it was like $400, $430 in Myanmar, and I was like, this is the same drug you're sure, and they go, yeah, that's the, it's a drug, we know what it is, why are we spending so much in America for the same shit. I don't know, we're, ask the politicians, we're, I don't know, it's a scam. Okay, so, so she, what, wouldn't check off the box? It's, yeah, I don't know, I think, I, this is, it buys you 24 hours, that's what I mean, you think I'm going to get bit by rabid dog, and be like, I'm good, like I'm not going to get the fucking shot, like I'll just wait it out. I still got to get all the shots. You think I'm just going to sit at a cafe, and be like, la la la la. Let's hope I don't get this one. Well, it was the right fucking thing, like, 'cause you know, they're not doctors. Well, she's done after fucking blasting inside a check, like hopefully, I'll just make sure to keep up with her until the next month. That's actually, it's a good, but she starts to show, maybe some real, I could just spring for the morning after pill, but like $60. Yeah. So anyways, I think she fucked me, whatever, I think I'm just, I usually blame other people before I self-examined, so maybe it was my fault, I don't know, but I get across the border and fucking, the guy's like, you don't have the yellow fever vaccine checked out, and I was like, he's like, you can't enter, and I was like, how much, bro? And he's like, $25, and I was like, five, and he's like, 20, and I was like, sold. So everything's for sale in Africa, even fucking medical documents. You've had so much experience with bribes at this point. Literally, like, five minutes of being in the country. Wow. And that's your opening, like, here's who we are to every new person. It's a shame. So corrupt. Who led? Who led with 25? Him? Yeah. And you said five. Yeah. It's funny too, when you give a bribe, you're like, oh, you're like, a hundred? I got it. Okay. And they're like, oh, yeah, for sure. A hundred, you're like, damn it. I should have asked. I didn't know what I was talking about. I'm in tandem, I'm in tandem, I'm in tandem. English isn't my first language. Yeah. And you don't know what you can get away with. My friends were doing the one and you have your cigarettes. Yeah, yeah. I'll roll two. You can roll them in the wind? Yeah. I'll ask. Let's try. Are you like, with that friend, you can get really, really fucked up and I still roll a good six. I'm getting better. I'm not as good. I got caught staring at a French chick last time at one of this cafes and I was like, looking at it. She was pretty hot. Most of the time. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Just your technique. I'm just looking at your technique. Not your white text. Just like rolling in front of her tits. Yeah. I was reading your shirt. Yeah. Hey guys. So these episode of human shippers brought you by super power, guys. You're going to go to the doctor and then you test you with something and then when it doesn't come up positive, there's just no response. Is that just NHS? Because I've been pooping diarrhea for six plus months now, seven plus months now. And they're like, no, it's not your idea. Okay. The body doesn't exist. So, it gets frustrating. They don't give you any sort of like rules to get ahead, any way, improve. Two problems better. Your membership includes 150 plus biomarkers every year across two tests, one baseline test, one progress check. 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Okay, so today's episode of "You Be Trip" is brought to you by CashApp. Guys, if you ever fall in front of your scams, do you know where you're new ones? I do. It's a flicking old people. Elon Musk or Elon Musk's mom gets in touch with them on Twitter and then tries to get a connection going. I don't know where it leads, but there's something there. It can't be this many old people that are in touch with Elon Musk or Elon Musk's mom. There are scams every day and that's where my sponsor comes in. CashApp. It's built in security that keeps your money safe. Your personal info stays personal. Help right when you need it. Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority and CashApp treats it that way. With security lock, CashApp requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if your phone is lost or stolen. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone new and CashApp notices something looks a bit off, or that you might be falling for a scam, send you a warning for the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Download CashApp and spend with peace of mind today. Download the CashApp today and make your money work for you. Visit our link in bio. Okay. SomaliLad. Yeah. You're in there now. Anyways, yeah. So get across the border. I'm in Kenya. My point was, this is a crazy fucking digression. My point was, the people will take care of you, right? Like I was having all these bad experiences. This guy takes me across the border, he's being a great kind gentleman. He's like speaks English. He does business in America, whatever. I see him like scrolling TikTok on the bus. That's nothing. People in these countries just like full fucking rip reels on speaker phone. Like, there's a lot like broken fucking speaker on that one. Not in America too. It's uncountable. Ripping him and then scrolling. Scrolling. So you're not even getting a full, dude, I was in an overnight bus when somebody's watching Top 10 horror screams. Like, are you? What the fuck, bro? I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. Yeah. American guy. Yeah. So this is unfair. What? Up to New Ireland. Exactly. He fifthed the demo. He fifthed the demo. He's like mid 50s, balding, much like yourself. Okay. And he fucking was ripping reals. Bro, his algorithm was like, girls like jumping up in bikinis, like soapy titties. On a plane, I'm like, bro, you downloaded these reals. Like, you fucking, you had the foresight to go on Instagram and like, download this. I'm like, and he's just ripping them. We're like a 35,000 feet and he's like, this is fine. This is fine. That's so funny. You're gonna watch them at all, but you pre-downloaded them. Also, do you even need just fucking turn the volume down and just watch the titties bounce, bro? Yeah. There's no bounce sound. Like, I don't know. Anyways, so that people are ripping reals. On his algorithm, it's like fucking like political shit from America. I think he's like really tapped in. He spoke perfect English. Uh-huh. Whatever. Anyways, he gets me across the border. He dips. That's a go get off. And then another girl fills in. She fills in for him, bro. She's like, I noticed your white. You're alone. Do you need help? And I was like, actually, yes. She's like, when we get out, stay with me. Keep your phone in your fucking, this is like a 30 minute answer to your fucking question. Okay. Bye. She's like, keep your, like, bag close to you. Keep your passport, like, hidden. Keep cash in different spots. She was giving me all the tips. Where's that? And I was like, yeah. Like, where are we going? Like, what the fuck is this? So we like get out and it's like India, but scary. That's how I would describe like big dirty African cities. And they're not all like that. You know, if you. We were talking about the bigger cities. This is Nairobi. Okay. So we're not, we're almost as small. So you're not in a farm. This is like big cities. No, it's huge. We're both in the prime as in the world's big cities. Exactly. Um, and, you know, I don't want to shoot on African too much, but like, you know, if someone from these African visa offices is watching, just know that I love your country, whatever government that you work for is the best one and I support it. But, so we get off the fucking bus. And it's actually not that bad, but she just sat there and waited with me and like, paid for my cat. She was just like, this is what I was trying to say is like, people are just so helpful. They know it's a shit hole. They know that it's like not the best situation and they will just help you. Okay. So she helped me. She paid for my cat, like everything. I gave her a little cash for it like in USD because I didn't have the right currency because I just crossed the border. But um. What a big USD. USD. Yeah. It's like the doll putting that in someone's hand like sick. We're good. - Questions asks. - Yeah. - Especially in Africa, brother. Cambodia too, I'm sure. - Cambodia uses the dollar. - Yeah. - Yeah, crisp one, it's like, oh, that's what you're saying. Yeah, they're like, this rules, yes. - Do you ever have trouble with the bank before you leave, asking for like crisp bill? Like does this seller ever look at you sideways? Like, you want a stack of $100 and ones? - Or twos before Ecuador. Anyone use, yeah. - Twos, yes! - Before Ecuador, I get twos, but they're like, I don't have them, like, can you order them? - I know I can order them. - Yeah, twos, you don't need them as crisp 'cause people are so magic, magic dealt by 'em, but like, but like, you're like, I need fives and tans. You're like, no, these gotta be crisp. I'm like, these are good, bro, you don't know where I'm going. They're gonna say no. - Yeah. - Crisp 10s, 20s, keep me in a book, you re-crisp 'em. - Oh, it's smart. - I was thinking about, 'cause I have little money slips. I was thinking about putting a piece of cardboard in the little envelope, just so it could never bend. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's in my back. - 'Cause it's not bigger than the bill is, that's the gym. - Yeah. - 'Cause in Myanmar, they're like, so picky about it. They like, look at it. I think I maybe saw people ironing money, I don't know if that's like a false memory or not, but. - So I wouldn't believe you on the border to get in, as an American. I think they just changed it 'cause I got a new leader. Americans had to pay like 240 bucks. Everyone else just walk on in for a nickel. They had to see all your bank statements, your entire tenorory, which you can chat to, EBT, but fun to live in. - Fun to live in. - Yeah, they're really strict on Americans. I think it's reciprocity kind of thing. But anyway, I had to pay him all these bills, these 20s. And one of them was a Nick, this big, and he goes, no. And this is the government taking the money. And they go, no, no, no, what else you got? - Wow. - So they're just told to be sticklers. - I get, I guess. Anyway, fuck. - Somali lab. - Somali lab. - Yeah, so yeah, yeah, anyways. But anyways, this lady took care of me, whatever. That was just to illustrate how nice people were. But yeah, so fucking overland Ethiopia. I think I flew, okay, so I'm in Ethiopia. I fly, 'cause I'm just like such a freak about landboarders. Like I have to do a landboarder. It's just like this autistic, oh. I have a tripod if you want a better one. - Really? - It like lays flat. - Okay. - Somali lab. - Yeah. We're getting there. It's been like fucking 40 minutes. - Yeah. Anyways, yeah, I'm just like such a freak about the landboarder just 'cause I wanna see kind of the, - Dude, it's so much more fun. - Yeah. - You get, like you instantly see the change. - Yeah. - As opposed to like landing those misses fields right there. You don't really see the change and then it's like eventually you get to the change. It's like, yeah. You're not part of town when nobody is. Landboarders are like, I guess not either. But like still, it's like, yeah. No, I'm with you on that. It's just wheat, two A. - Wheat wheat. I like smoking the hand rolls 'cause it feels like I'm smoking a joint. I can't smoke wheat anymore, so it's like. - Like, 'cause you're homosexual. - I just freak out, dude. - Nice. - That's why you smoke more. - I don't know, I just can't do it. - Okay, no, I'm all right with it. You gave it a go. The people was like, I've never tried it, I never will, like that's crazy. It's a pretty universally accepted thing. - Yeah, it's like-- - You've never tried it? Try it, don't like it, I get it. Never tried it. - I didn't hit it, I had a joint on a concert. Not even, yeah. No, I had a big, I started smoking almost 14, bro. Like, it's just, my brain's fried. - For? - Yeah. - Are you apologize? - You're not gonna proselytize? Anyways. - Yeah. - Fucking fly to East Ethiopia. And I wasn't in Ethiopia long, it was a real shame. That was actually the only country on this whole trip I was looking forward to. - Why? - Africa scares me, bro. - And why Ethiopia then? - The food. Bro, the whole trip, I was eating fucking bullshit. I was eating like in my hotel. I was just scared to get food poisoning, bro. I was in the bush in Tanzania, starving myself. 'Cause they're like, oh, have some chicken. I was like, where did this come from? - No way. - Like, how long has it been a room temperature? I just didn't eat, bro. I just suffered. So I was starving and I got to Ethiopia. I got to do the Ethiopian food is so tits. The spongy pancake thing, all the gravy, spicy-- - You eat the plate. - Bro, it's so good. - It's so good. - So anyways. - Bro, that's all I'm intrigued. Every time I get insulted, bro. - I've watched that episode because I think before I went to China the last time, and I was saying, bro, so much. - I know, it's so infectious. - Yeah. - Bro, bro. (laughing) I've been like, so you butt fuck a lot? When you're like, bro, my kids are watching this. It doesn't have any kids. - Almost came. - How do I-- - You got it. - Fuck it. Crossed, lab order, whatever. Take a cab, but I mean another guy. This guy studied at fucking MIT or Stanford. He was like a smart guy who was living in Switzerland, working for the UN Health Committee. Smart ass fucking dude. Spooked perfect English. He's like, I'm going to Hargaysa, we can go together. - Wow. - You rub these tight, these are nice. - Thanks you, thank you. - Thanks for the better one. - Thank you. - Get to a truck stop or like a bus stop, whatever. It's scary, bro. People are like, coming up to you, touching you, what I-- - Touching you. - Well, like, oh, come on, taxi, whatever the fuck. Like, there you go. - It's tense. - But, I mean, it makes for a great video. - Right. - So that's just what I have to tell myself to get through it. - So you're self-ing the whole time? - Rip in there, bro. Non-stop, and after you. - Wow, okay. - Yeah, non-stop. And they didn't like the camera, of course. Anyways, I fucking rabbled it out, but he has to take like a Zoom meeting, he has to go whatever. But he gives me good tips for a Somali land. He's like, oh, do this, here's where you get your money, whatever. People just took care of me, the point being. And so, get on a different bus alone now. I'm totally alone. I have like fucking $600 in cash. In my, like, I'm a walk, I have my fucking MacBook. I'm like carrying like a camera, like I'm just a fucking mark, you know? And, but again, people were just nice. They just, another woman helped me out through the border. And they do like, at the Somali land, 'cause it's like fucking Somalia, you know what I mean? Technically, like, my phone was like, you're in Somalia. Like, no coverage, whatever. I couldn't even go to fucking East Africa Somalia. - Wow. - Or Somali, whatever. So they have all these checkpoints that you have to go through. And the first one is like, men and women split apart. They search the women separately. - Oh, wow. - I'm terrified, bro. I'm like, you know, worst case. They go through the SD card. They start to lead stuff. And I can't say anything. - Yeah, they have it. - That's theirs. - And the power, yeah. - And so I'm like, all right. But it was fine. It was totally fine. Everyone was really nice. Get across, oh no. I go to take a pee. And there was like a church. 'Cause Ethiopia has like Christians and stuff. Take a pee on like the side of a church and like a pile of trash. And I see like a guy sitting under a tree. Like begging, I give him like five bucks. I feel like a saint. - Yeah. - You know? And I don't know, just the poverty is just sad, dude. It's like, it's different than, like India's poor, you know, Latin America has its issues. But Africa poor is broke. I feel like I was in a Sarah McLaughlin commercial. It was sad, bro. Ribs poking out. Fucking collarbones, like, it was sad, dude. Give him a couple bucks, whatever. Get on the bus. And then we cross in. And it's just chaos. Like at the border. And 'cause it's not a state, right? It's like, it's like a makeshift. It's like, if you and me are like, this area is like a continent. - Wow. - And we're like, that fence is gonna be the border. But that would even be a better fence in Somailan. 'Cause it was a fucking rope, dude. It was just a rope. - A rope into Somailan? - A little string across the road. And you could just go. I was like a good, Samaritan, or I was like a good person. I went to the office and they stamped it. 'Cause I wanted to stamp. - You want to stamp? A lot of folks aren't doing stamp anymore. Fucking sucks. My country's not. - The good ones still do, like the shitty one. Like the fun ones, you know? - The fun ones, yeah. They didn't go. - You okay, no stamp. - Fuck. - All right, I hate it. - I'm asking us fairly to get a stamp. - Like can I just, do you have one? We can just stamp. You obviously know people want the stamp. - Yeah, it's like a souvenir. - Yeah. - It's a souvenir. - Yeah. So anyways. - So Somailan was better than Somalia? - I'd or a bit of Somalia. - You'd never been Somalia. - I was terrified, dude. - Just straight to Somailan. - Yeah. - Okay. - Just from the border, from Ethiopia. - So what food do they have? - Bro. - Bad. - Oh. - Bro, we stopped at a roadside stop and he's like lunchtime. Oh no, it was prayer time. We were driving and he had to stop the bus for people to pray. Like they're really devout Muslims. - Muslims, so it's five times a day. - I bet they take it really seriously. - Damn. - Yeah. - You had just, everything stops, everything stops. You're at the market, stops. Everyone goes to pray. - Wow. Do they have the thing that goes off a call to prayer? - Yeah. - I don't know the times, too. And so anyways, we stopped at the bus, mosque, restaurant kind of thing. People were like washing their feet to get into the mosque, whatever. Ed, it's a restaurant, it's bad, dude. Like I saw a guy eating like white bleached noodles with like gravy with his hands. Like canned chicken, I don't fucking know. I didn't even ask. I didn't want it. It looked terrible, dude. - Yeah. - Restaurant number was really nice guys. He's like, oh, come in and eat. I was like, thank you. I'm fast, oh no, fuck, I make something up, you know. - Yeah. - Sometimes in those travel days, you probably should just fast. Like fucking airport food and-- - That's your only option, yeah. - I should have just fasted. But anyways, I did want to eat it. I just starved by some of these countries. I lose so much weight. - What do you eat, like chips? - Hotel food, chicken beer ony. - Wow. - Yeah, I just cop out, bro. 'Cause I gotta think, like, it needs to be-- - That's so funny because you're known as a great traveler. And-- - It's calculated risk. - But right, exactly, but a great traveler's like, no, I'm not gonna risk this. This is a bad idea. - My trip, but I was only there three days. - I've said this before, but I'm sure, but like I was in Greece, it's doing a final gig on a European run in Athens. Try love. - Greece is awesome. - Yeah. - There. - And I was like, I'll walk home. And the promoter was like, no, no, let me, they always do this. Like, no, no, let me get you back. I'm like, no, dude, I'm a pretty seasoned traveler. Like, I'll be fine. And he goes, well, then you should know you're going through the heroin district on the way home. - Do you want to do heroin? - He goes, I'll drive you the same distance on the other side and let you walk. But like, that's great. I'm like, I'm a really bad driver. - Yeah. - I should have looked this stuff up. - This is a fine line. - Yeah. Strokes of brilliance, you know? - Yeah. - You make mistakes. - Yeah, eat the hotel food, don't get the food poisoning room in your trip. - I'd be there to make a video, bro. I'd be there to fucking sit on a toilet, his side of my ass. - Yeah. - What were the toilets I can smell the land? - My hotel was fine. It was like 50 bucks, and I, kind of nice. - Okay. - Hotel Hargasa, I think, shout out. - Yeah, shout out, stay at the park, guys. - Yeah. - I linked it in the description of my videos. Like, if you want to stay, you know what? - Okay. - But I fucking-- - Well, how about the people in Smollyland? - Dude, they were nice. - Okay. - They were really nice on my first day. Like I went to the square, they got the fucking bombers. I walk around, people were like, "Oh, America, America, yes." - Give them a dollar, like, "Oh my God, George Washington." - Yeah. - Yeah. - It was awesome. - Yeah. - Yeah, people were really kind on the, the first day I was there. Sit and have some tea, you know? Smok some, I think I had a couple cigarettes. - Yeah. - People were really, it was kind of like Iraq. And I guess, you know who's cool? - It's right. - We're all thinking the same guy. - No. - Some of you might have the wrong answer here. - No, it's not because he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if it was his full-blooded marriage child. No, it's not that at all, even though you could tell who it was. You're new to it. Woo, that's hot. It's probably what that maid did to turn him on. Whether you're new to cigars, or seasoned, aficionado. cigars international takes and joins cigars makes them easy, approachable and fun. And now, they're offering free everyday shipping on cigars international. No co-dominams. cigars international is a go-to really for all retailer for all things cigars. Biggest selection. I love them. Gone, go. He was out of them. Use my code trippin at checkout for 20% off your order of $50 or more, or visit cigarsinternational.com www.cigarsinternational.com/trippin and the discount will automatically apply. Some exclusions apply, but it's a solid gift and a solid pickup. What'd you get into? What'd you do all day? Just fucking. This is the thing, like, in countries like this, like if I were to make a video in France, I would have to go to like, find something niche, like, oh, there's this Japanese chef who's fucking, you know, like, I would have to go deep, I'd have to like dig to find something worth a video here in this lovely, perfect city of Paris. Like, in Somalia, in Somalia and China, for example, I'm okay with doing like, tourist bullshit because you're in fucking Somalia, bro. Yeah. What is the tourist bullshit? It's got to be not even that. Look at a fucking bomber. And like, read about, oh, like my cousin died in this war, whatever. Wow. Ask people about it. Was it recent? The war? 80s. Oh, yeah. I think I'm going to remember. I'm pretty sure. And it's still like ongoing. I mean, it's still like contentious, you know? There's still fighting to be reckoned, I think actually that big piece of legislation Trump was trying to pass, whatever the fuck project 25 or whatever, in that document, they're like going to, you know, recognize Somalia land as a country. Wow. Probably had a little to do with Israel, I'm sure, but, yeah, maybe. But, you know, but yeah, I just did some bullshit walk around with some markets. Did they, how did they speak about Somalia? Oh, they're like, they didn't, they were embarrassed that they're like associated with it. Wow. They're like, we're different. We're Somalia land. They were proud. They speak the same language. I think so, but it's like tribal, so there's like all different kinds of tribes. Yeah. So basically, when they split, or I don't know, something to do with colonization, you know, the Brits, they like split them along tribal lines. So like, the different languages are just kind of all over the place, like randomly. Yeah. The whites come in and like choose borders, it's like, no, this would not be the borders they choose. Yeah. And you're making Kurds and Shiites live together, and that was like, that was never supposed to be. Yeah. So there's definitely some, some tension there, but people are really nice. They're excited to see me. It's kind of like Iraq, or you should go Iraq, dude. Yeah. I want to. It's the best. Yeah. It's like one of the best countries. Okay. People are just so nice. I feel like you cannot spend money, come smoke some shisha, come to my house, meet my family. Oh, let's slaughter a goat and have a feast. Wow. Like it's fucking best, dude. It's the fucking best. Shout out back, Debra. Shout out Ali. I'm at this really nice guy there, spoke like British English, and just the best people did. My buddy, when he said, every time he came, he could have been Afghanistan too. He went to both mixing him up, geo, said the Taliban was like, super nice. They just want to talk about basketball. Afghanistan. Yeah. And he was like, they're like, this is bad ones, but most of us are just like, it's a government job. Yeah. I'm going to have some questions here. I think I might actually go to Afghanistan at this. Really? I'll look up with Geo. Okay. Yeah. I actually got inspired. I think I saw you on stage at the mothership talking about Afghanistan on 9/11. It was a bit, and I was like, this is fucking perfect. I should do this. Yeah. It's one of the greatest wins. Yeah. You can buy merch. 9/11 merch? Yeah. And now it's coming to like a scarf, which is like, I was in England for July 4th, and I'm like, I guess I don't celebrate July 4th, and I'm like, I'm actually a pretty big loss. It's a giant hell for them. Yeah. For us, it's a big W. They have a wear black. You probably, there's probably some good, like, meetups, you could go to like a pub and like, take a look. There are, there are, there's a July 4th meetups, but like, there's like, there's a fireworks for sale. Nobody knows. It's just a day. It's a day. River or something. Yeah. Yeah. So how long does it stay there in Somali land? Yeah. It was only like three or four days, bro. It was like, kind of a hidden, I knew there'd be trouble, and like, like, I came on last time and I was like, about me and Mar, and like, I said they're two weeks, mistake, bro. What? I was just scared, man. I was just scared of like, the government, and like, government scared me, bro. I'm just such a pussy with, they can do anything, dude. I mean, you had Tommy on talking about arrests. Yeah. They can just take you, bro. And it's also like, you're like, I know my rights, you know, you actually don't know. You're not allowed to do that here. So like, you know how you're like, a lot of film TSA agents. Oh, you are. In America. Okay, yeah. And so they're like, don't film me. Like, fuck off. I'm actually allowed your government official. I'm allowed to put you on, like, to keep you on in check. Yeah. People take it too far. We're like, this is a rightful arrest. This guy punched a woman in the face. Like, relax, guys. I'm going to beat him up a little. Yeah. And like, I'm watching this. It's like, you didn't see what happened right before. Yeah. It's always with a clip starts, right? Yeah. But, um, but then in Israel, you're like filming like TSA agents and like, hey, you know how the film is like, fuck you, I know my rights and then you're like, actually, it's illegal. Okay. Even though we fucking fund their asses. Yeah. Yeah. That's the whole other thing. But like, can't film, can't film. Yeah. So it's like, you think you know your rights, but it's different. Oh, you know Somali land laws, sir. Yeah. Yeah. You studied up on our legal theory. Yeah. So you're like, I might run a foul of this. Some guy in, in, in me and Mark, some Dutch guy, I got arrested for six months for unplugging. There's a prayer speaker outside his hotel room and he just unplugged it. And they're like, no. You're gonna jail it because I didn't know in another one's really no in me and my he was from the Netherlands. I mean, with jail for a long time. Shit. Yeah. It's like the auto Wormberg thing. Like, he probably knew he was fucking up. He did, but he was like, fuck this, I can't sleep with this thing right out to my window. It's also great merch, dude. North Korean banner, that's crazy merch, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so getting out was it tough? No, it's fine. I mean, honestly, like all my fears were kind of unfounded. It's usually how it goes. Yeah. But I mean, yeah, the first day was sick, met a cool, like a bunch, just like in these Muslim countries, just the bros, dude, no chicks. Go outside, smoke some shit, drink some tea, talk about pussy, like it's just, it's like a locker room everywhere. Wow. It's the best. I was taken, I was getting high and walking around where I used to live in West Hollywood and walking on Santa Monica Boulevard, which is my friend called it mecca for gays. It's like, it's the, it's the three blocks of like, it's the jam and everybody in the calf phase is smiling and like, I'm like, why are they all in a good mood? Like, oh, no, women are in here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Down to clown, right? Yeah. Now, a lot of these Muslim countries, I think people are like low key closeted for sure. I was going to, maybe I'll save it. Are you going to do my show? Do you have time? It's not right now, but later tonight or tomorrow morning. Yeah. I'll save the question for it for later, but, uh, is this question going to be? It's basically a one answer, yeah. How long could you go without jacking off without getting laid before you fucked a guy? Save for tomorrow. Okay. Okay. Okay. Everybody turn to the small American, small brain pod for the answer to that. Fucking. Well, that's cool. Would you say people should go or not go? I would say go yeah for three days it's it's cool man like when else are you gonna go to the guy talk to fuck I wish I was they wasn't cloudy. I forgot his name. He was maybe the coolest guy I've ever met He was like this great music there. It's great culture there in some island. He's a mollyland, yeah I didn't hear any music. Well, they're just because they're really Fundamentalist bro. I was gonna say later like this like the second day I went out. I was gonna go try to find some like cave painting because you know It's like a themed trip around like early humans whatever. Yeah So I was trying to get out of our gays to go to this you know kind of far away We had to get a Jeep another tour kind of thing and Earlier the guy that I met the first day the really smart guy from MIT his brother linked up with me and he showed me around whatever nice guy We went out of town But to get all the permits bro It took like an hour just to get be like here. I am. I have here's my passport. Here's what I'm up to You know, I'm a youtuber. Here's my channel like just so incredibly involved. Wow, let's say like It just took all the fun out of it to be honest on the second day and then I have the camera and people are screaming at me You want to find it yourself you on the back of that moat head in in Myanmar is like this is no one's finding this out for you And it's it's it's you just see on your face like I'm having the most fun. Yeah Well, Ralph. I think I don't know if this is your podcast or Ralph's show. I can't remember Ralph Pots, but he said like trip your word winner. That's me best what best meal. What did he it was in a monastery and a Syrian mountains? That's awesome. Yeah, he's such a legend. He's such a legend. Well like When's the last time you went somewhere that you've never seen pictures of right? You know, that's what it's about. It's about discovery There's this thing too, so I'll do this on this podcast. I'll like bleep out if you like I went to this one restaurant And if it's not like struggling for survival, you know, that's different, but if it's doing fine I'm like, I don't I like let's say Paris. I want to go to a place and if there's only Parisians, it's a much better time And if I tell everybody the cafe I want to the next time I go back, it's gonna be a bunch of English speakers Even if it's just like the work gets out to a few and they tell people they to it's like throwing one water bottle out in Joshua tree Just one, but it's like nah, just do your part and people see it and they're like, oh yeah, so even like countries like Somali land like I'll have a hand in like over Touristing it, which is not lovely. I I felt that with my Japan stuff I don't have like as big of a platform necessarily, but I went you know, I go back once twice a year and I'll go back to my favorite spots And I'll see people like oh my god. You're that guy. Oh my fuck You know, I tell you I've got some Burmese foods somewhere. I think in New York or somewhere Okay, and the lady was like oh no, it was B&H Electronics in New York Burmese lady. I saw you your podcast. I saw you and the Americans with the no brain And I'm like yeah, she goes yeah, yeah, it was so cool. You talked about my country When I was like do you go a lot? I've only been back a few times. I don't really go much But I was like you ever go to the inlay lake. She goes nah, they're made it there She was like you told him about a bunch of places. I never got to see that's cool. Yeah Yeah, and there's no real risk of me and mark getting too touristy not right now Because there's a risk there you have to go yeah And and if it's a place where it's like oh, it's a three-hour hike from the place to get to this restaurant I'm like I'll say that Because you ain't gonna get that and also say like dieful tower because you've already heard about that. Yeah It's the places you have and I'm like find your own. It's fine. Yeah People always hit me out for recommendations and I'm just like bro. I found that I found it Yeah, so the I still that the thing of like every everyone's been pictured to death. It's like get a kind of ruins it. Yeah And also you're gonna show up just to take like I went to Chongqing and I was like y'all are all taking the same bro Google it Yeah, Google the fucking picture You know what I mean like is it that important to? Whatever but it's yeah, it's the commerce now, but I mean, I don't think there's a risk of smile Yeah, it probably help out to be honest. I kind of want to go to Somali land I was already kind of on my list because of this guy met. It's fun. It's an adventure There's challenges bureaucratic challenges like the visa. I didn't even talk about that I had to go in Kenya and like go in person and wait and do a little interview and like Stuff like that. Whereas like here. I should just show the fuck up and hers is fine. It's fine. Hello. Welcome boom But Somali land is like who are you who are you with? Let me see your YouTube channel. Let me see your passport. Oh really? Yeah, it's pretty involved. You've been Nicaragua. No, you ain't gonna They don't like youtubers. They don't like you. So I mean we're catching on list. We're pests We're pests. Yeah, we ruin it For different reasons one like you're gonna expose some wrongdoing or two like you're gonna fuck up a nice dinner Yeah, there's that for sure But anyways, we go out to the fucking hills whatever and we have to have like a guide like a so I have my tour guide I have my driver. I have to pay for the gas and the land rover to get out there because it's for real drive Okay, and then I have to pay for an armed police officer to come with us. Hold on a fucking collusion to cough AK-47. I got a sweet picture with the guy though. Yeah, you gotta send me the pictures of Somali land the rope that really I love you see I'm gonna like let me hold that bro. I saw funny my algorithms getting weird, but I saw a real good day It's like Really grainy pictures and it's like has like trap music over it like underground fucking whatever and it has a Somali land officer holding up a Google Translate and it says can I trade you my AK-47 for your iPhone? And he has like a Somali police on his little bed. Wow What? Yeah, I would say yes for sure Even though the guns are like 200 bucks, but The Google Trans that'll get you to the people like I'll give me that the type and back and it's like you actually really communicate. Yeah I was in Northern Thailand trying to get to this like It's like 10-day Vipassana retreat somewhere like further northeast northwest and I missed the last bus like yeah Sorry, I came 40 minutes early. I'm like what early. Yeah, this is Thailand. Yeah That's annoying and I was like what so what do I do and she was like and he was like hitchhike and I'm like fuck you bitch But I didn't realize a later. She meant no. No, that's definitely the way to get an hour down this road. Yeah, did you do it? Yeah, and it work? Yeah, I was like what about content checking the bus. Yeah, it's the best you just go and like back of the pickup bed You're like okay, give him a couple of bucks. Maybe yeah, sometimes they're insulted. Yeah, like no, I was going that way Yeah, that's the great. I just did a whole hitch. I can trip in China. It was fucking magical. All right. That's the next next episode. Okay So I was gonna say recommend Somalia not oh, so they brought you out there Bro, I mean out there saw the cave paintings whatever, but it was just like the administrative dude It was so much work. They only took us D. I burned all my money. It was like a $200 a day In fucking Somali land. Wow, bro, so You tell me I got to pay a driver. I got to pay a guy with a gun I got to pay for the gas and I got to pay for a tour guide And then I got to pay for the permit and then I got to pay for the permit to get in the place because Somalan is really highly regulated You can't just go around you have to like Apply to leave the city basically. Whoa. Yeah Why? Because I guess fucking terrorists and Somalia like bomb people It's like some I think Italian couple. I can't remember some couple died in like 2007 and so they're like really kind of On your ass about it. Nobody cares. Nobody heard about that. Nobody heard about anything. It was so long ago Yeah, it was so long ago, but yeah, I went out there whatever and anyways the last day I do the cots and you know the cots It's some we spit red. It's like beetle, but it's um It's the same. I think it's the same active ingredient in a bath salts It's like how they extract bath salts is this leaf they that grows in like sub-Saharan Africa And it like you know if you season when I caught their eyes are fucking Moons bro Dialated they're just you tried it. I did but then I got scared started to kick in. I was like oh I'm scared I'm scared I like spit it out. That's like a zin times 20. Yeah You started to get the head Russian like oh, I'm I felt it Still got more going in it's like when you're in college. You have like another shot like off to drunk like wait that shot hasn't hit yet Yeah, I'm fucked. Yeah, you're fucked That's cool. How much was that? 25 cents for like a huge bag But I'm chewing that I'm like I'm trying to give it another chance. I'm like look I had a bad day whatever I'm trying to wrap up the video. I don't want to be the guy that's like oh, I hate everywhere I'm trying to fucking like it whatever. I'm really really trying to put in the elbow grease and Then I go to a market. I'm trying to just I you know usually at the end of an adventure I'll film the beginning of a video just because I'm like loose and it's just yeah, yeah, yeah coming easy and So I'm like, yeah, I welcome to smile and whatever one of the most difficult places to travel I say that and this guy raises his face is like get the fuck out of here. He's like running after me because I think like Because you said it was difficult. No, I don't think he understood. It's like they're so fundamentalist Islam that they're Protective of women. I don't know if you heard this about Afghanistan But apparently like you cannot film women there like it It's like the the grave You know prime evil sin to fucking film women. Wow, and so I'm in a market and there's a woman like cutting me And she's like get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. I didn't know what the fuck she's I'm just I don't know She's talking to me whatever and then this guy's like And so I'm like wow that's the last thing that's really man and then I'm walking away and I'm like all right guys One bad experience whatever we're gonna we're leaving. We're going to Egypt next. It's all good and Then another kid comes runs after me's like in English. She's like fuck you - He's sprinting, it's a fuck you. And I'm like, piece of my land. I'm out, dude. So I don't know if I'll go back. (laughing) - Yeah. You've been doing a lot of places in this border countries and there's always that thing of like, I wanted to go some new ones, but also like, I don't want to, I've been at Netherlands Amsterdam, but I've never been a Rotterdam. So it's like, I'm not gonna cross off another country, but I'm gonna Rotterdam, but I do want to see it. It's not a place you want to go back even here, Paris. Like, second time here, I'll put you back again. - Yeah. - Like, yeah, someplace like, no, that's enough. - I'm good. - Yeah, the story of the rap, put a bow on it. - That's definitely gonna be when I go to India. - Yeah. - I mean, maybe not, but it's definitely gonna be like, yeah, yeah, I gotta go. There's a couple, it's India and Japan, where people are like, really? You've never been to that. I'm like, nah, I don't know. - I think you would maybe like India. You kind of a dirt bag. - I'm a dirt bag. - You're okay with like some filth. You might like it. It has like weird charm. It's like an X. - I mean, I would love this shit on the street in public. - That would be exhilarating. - Love it. - Yeah. - And not look down on? - Oh my god, I just thought of a viral real. Eating street food in India until I shit in the street. (laughing) - That's a jackass. (laughing) - Aron, aron, aron, aron, aron. - Let's get the runs. - Just blast and do a gutter. (laughing) - Now, if you'll notice how loose this was, that's not even pick up a bull. - Yeah. (laughing) - You have a doctor, whether you like test it, is I actually have nine parasites. - Dude, I for sure have a parasite right now. Like no question in my mind. 'Cause I got back from last day in Brazil, got some street meat right before closing. Obviously in hindsight, not a great idea. But only had diarrhea since then. After a week or two, it's like, okay, and now it's been six months. And it's like, I'm gonna google this. And they're like, pro 100% parasite. - Yeah. - You haven't gotten it tracked? - I just got my NHS like poop tested. - Oh, in Paris. - No, in London. So I gotta hear with the word back. - Yeah. - I'll put it in the outro. - I'm gonna get a year full from the doctor. - You're like, what the fuck are you doing? Why didn't you see me earlier? Six months, a week a diaries a month. - You have to understand American health care, sir. We don't really, I'm a comedian, I'm really poor. - I didn't just just really great at winning in there. They're like, oh, it's takes so much while I'm like, I might have a problem when they're like, yeah, I will see you today. You might have to wait. I waited 30 minutes, and then I can test this. I'm like, all right, what's the copay? They're like, what does that mean? (laughing) So you just didn't even send you a bill or, wow. - Nope. - Did they know, are you a resident there? - I have, I got, I'm a five year visa. - So maybe that's, 'cause I had a concussion and whales, and I just walked in, they saw me, no bill, no nothing. Tourists. - Great. - Free health care. - Let's probably cover as part of the NHS, like anyone is here. - That's very nice. - I mean, you maybe can't get like surgery planned out months in advance, but like in an emergency thing. - Yeah. - It was very nice. And I told my friend Francis, who was like, "I need just socks." I'm like, "Bro, it was, it ruled." "Okay, fine, for some things, it's good." I'm like, "God, dude, I come from a way worse country." - Yeah. It's like rich. - He's rich. - 'Cause I think you can, can you still get private doctors? - Yep. - So maybe comparatively, it's-- - Yeah, and I think the insurance is like, for the private doctors, is much lower. - Than we pay. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So. - It's fucking scam. - So no more Somal Island, okay. - I don't think so, man. - Yeah. - I mean, I go back, I met like some really nice people, great stories, I met a guy who like grew up in London and then moved back to Somal Island. - Wow. - He fell his roots. - But I know how, yeah. - He fucking, you know, started a shoe store or a small business center, you know. A lot of cool stories there. I just, I don't know, in Africa is kind of like a one and done for me. At least right now. - All of Africa. - Well, I don't want to ride off the whole thing. - You read that story, Rolf recommended that article? How to write Africa? - Oh, yeah. Skating, bro. - Yeah. - It's pretty much how like, it was like, the things are like, always make sure to write. Africa is one country, not many, 'cause there's no difference between the country's right. The elephants are pure. There's always a fat woman who wants you to eat. Elephants are good. Lions are bad, unless there's a poacher, then the poachers are bad, the lions are good. Yeah, I was like, it was like, I was like, damn, everything I've ever written on Africa is this. - Yeah, we're just stereotypes, bro. - Yeah. - You think you're like uncovering something for the first time and you're just pulling it. - It really is the last one that holds together to continent. - Yeah, I mean, it is the cradle of humankind. I mean, they have a lot of potential, man. A lot of natural resources. And there's some people, I met like a French entrepreneur there, there was like, - Africa is the next Dubai, it is rich resources. - It's a wide open potential. - And Nairobi did have a ton of expats, like way more than you would think. - Wow. - Tons. Cool nightlife there too. - Wow. - I think it's kind of lit. But, you know, as far as some island, I would go back, man. I don't want to ride anywhere off, like for good. - But there's also like, it's like, you're in Ethiopia open, people like, hey, we're all going over there. You're like, you're not going to go, no. You know what I mean? If the opportunity rises different than like, I want to plan another trip there. - Yeah, and like, there's always stuff emerging. Like you never know, like Israel, like, you know. - Well, we went to Myanmar in a very specific time in Myanmar that was open. - Yeah. - We each went there in a, it's not as open anymore. - Oh really? - Yeah. - Afghanistan, El Salvador now is open. Couldn't go before Venezuela might be this new thing and it might collapse again. You know, Kabul for a bit was like, run by Americans. Like, that was a fun time. I always picture Paris when I'm here. And I'm like, the Nazi occupation. If you're a German soldier, you didn't do it. You're already like, they already, the bombs are done. But it's your station here. And you're like, oh shit, I don't have money for a baguette. You think I could just get it? Like, um, sure. And just like going to nightlife and the. - Yeah. - Must have been a blast, you know? And I feel like a French chick was like, I kind of have a thing for Germans. Like, wow, what a time for you. - Yeah, any girl? - Yeah. - I think about it sometimes with like slavery. Like, how? - Looks wrong. - Okay, I'm a big girl. - Let's suck with this. Don't do this. There's an in line. Okay. - It's for entertainment. - Yeah. - But like, how nice would it be? In the 1800s, you're just wealthy. Like, generational, like, even like a, a pharaoh. - Yeah. - To be wealthy, like thousands of years ago, to just have anything. - Can I have a grape for me? - No, no, I don't want to grab the grape myself. - Yeah. - Keep it on the vine. - Yeah. Have your first born son delivered to. - Picture of white people as the slaves, instead of black people, or whatever Jews in Egypt, or whatever. And then now picture how great it was. Another mint julep, please. Actually, cancel that please. Another mint julep. - Oh, I'm sure it's thrown out. - Throw it out. Can't we go without the please? (laughing) - Yeah. - All right, so before we go, two questions for everybody. Country you want to get to. And that's calling you in some way, and some a travel tip. - I would say Afghanistan, man. It's kind of like my dirty little, little temptress. It's, you know, I feel like for a while, it was kind of beat, you know, to a pulp by the travel YouTubers for a bit. But I feel like it's kind of cooled off, and maybe there's something new there I'm not sure about. I'd like to go see, you know. Also on 9/11, I think we'll be lit. And maybe there's some parties I can catch here, I don't know. (laughing) - Were you in Austin? Okay, did I get you into the mother's ship? - Yeah, okay. - VIP were in the upstairs. - Yeah, that's nice. - Appreciate it. It was awesome. - So Afghanistan. - I'll hook you up with Geo. He's cool about it. He gets fixtures and shit like that. Probably has one he knows. - 'Cause I don't want like a tour. I just need to like get the permit. - That's it. - I want to get lost in this. And he's like, he's seeing things like, why aren't these women wearing burkas? And they're like, this is a big city dude. That's small town shit. - Yeah. - And it's like, just coming face to face with like, the story on this place is different than the reality. - Yeah. - And there's a lot, I mean, there's a lot of diversity. I mean, the hill tribes and like, there's like Caucasians there. - Wow. - Red-haired, left over russians. - I have no idea. Oh no, they're Caucasian. 'Cause it's the Caucasian thing. - The Caucasus. - I think. - Yeah, that's what I mean. - I don't know, it's a lot. It's uncover. - Okay. - Yeah. - All right, Afghanistan. And then, you got a travel tip. Now this could be specific or whatever. This could be like, $2 bills in Ecuador, or it could be like, pack light is an easy one. Kind of generally, I think just carry a fuck ton of cash. - Wow. - Just like, a lot. 'Cause you just never know. I mean, if you're going to France, okay, no. - There's ATMs around. - Yeah, but if you're going to like, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, Australia, like anywhere that's like, you tell your mom you're going and she kind of looks at your sideways. Anywhere like that, carry at least $500 in brand new, and be like a tyrant at the bank. Be like, nope, wrinkle, nope, fold, nope. - Be a problem. - Yes. Teach them, teach them how to, a lot of times it's like an old white lady who's only been to France and the Bahamas. And you're like, no, actually, I'm going to Pakistan. And this is my only lifeline if my credit cards fail, which they probably will. - Which they will. - Or get stolen. - Yeah, keep a bunch of fucking money. And then like, put it in like your backpack, keep 100 here. I met a guy in-- - Separate places I would add to that. - We out where? - Keep a couple of 20s in a one page of a book, couple of 20s in the back, another book, keep another few 20s or 100s. - That's fine. - And like, they keep them separated. - So you travel with a book? - I don't read it, I don't crack it. But like, in my head, I could be the guy who reads. - Yeah. - It's like a performative, you're like, I don't take it down, like, LeBron, like reading it upside down. - You have your phone in there. - You're scrolling like racists read inside the book. - Yeah. (laughing) - So yeah, keep that. And I met a dude, I went on this big trip a long time ago and I started in Ireland and I was like working at this hostel, save all the money. And I met this dude who was a war journalist in like the early 2000s. [BLANK_AUDIO] He covered Afghanistan, Iraq, the whole Shabang Syria, and he said when he was in the U.S. he went to a tailor, and he got a tailor-made vest, like a little, like with a bunch of pockets, and he would put money in the vest, so if he was really in a pinch he would just rip that bitch open and just take him out. And he would sew it up. He would sew money into his vest. That is fucking leaving Poland right before it got bad shit to do. That's crazy, but what a smart move. And when they fill you up it's just paper, they're not going to 100 here, 100 there, 100 here, 100 there. Right, or there's no pocket, they're looking for pockets to look in and they just don't see anything. Yeah, people get stopped in Mexico all the time, they're like, "How much you got in your wallet?" And you're like, "Fuck, I have a thousand dollars." Yeah, take that out of your wallet. Keep some, so they feel like they've got some. Yeah. These are a lot of tips. 20 bucks. Yeah. Couple fresh ones. Yeah. Move it around. If you lose your bag, your set, if you get robbed, your set, a couple debit cards and a bunch of fucking money. Yeah. All right. Connor. Thanks, buddy. This is fun. Yeah. I'll do yours later, Terry, tomorrow morning or something. All right. And then, let's get drunk. Yeah. Good luck with the class. Thanks, man. Yeah. That's fun. It's cool you're coming back. I've been wanting to come back for a while. I don't even like rolls. Both pots is writing class and you're not even a writer, really. But it'll help your videos. I'm just telling the story in different mediums. Just vibes. And it's vibes. I think it goes out, drinks wine. Yeah. Okay. Classes over. Let's all go. And yeah, you get one liter in the group. Nice. Thanks for organizing. Yes, let's all go. Yeah. A little lunch drink, lunch cigarette. Yeah. Puts things off too seriously. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Anyway. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me. And that's the episode, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you very much. Connor McBee, Small Brain America for coming in. Guys, please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening. And go over and check out Small Brain Americans' Afghanistan video. He just put up right now. Leave a comment. Tom, you've got here from-- oh, boy. Banda, you're telling me you've got here from this podcast. Banda. Yeah. What a fucking cool guy. What a great traveler. He's been literally everywhere. And we sat there in that park. It was so fucking cool. Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. Give me-- what? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And, man, we just sat and talked about travel. And I don't know. It's getting harder and harder to do these in public. As you will see from the next episode we do altogether. Me, him, Rolf, and sabbatical. We got chased away by some French cops. Guys, Somali Land got in my head. I remember the guy's name now. Stormy. It was Stormy. The coolest guy I've ever met. From Somali Land, jazz musician Bennett. Jazz musician played with Wynton Marcellus. Brandford Marcellus. I think Wynton Marcellus trained with him. And just like legitimately the coolest guy I've ever met. I met him in Guatemala looking for a coffee shop. There's no influencer city in Guatemala on the lake. There's all these different cities on the lake. And one of them is like an influencer. It's like an ecstatic dance class. It's yoga. Kind of everything. All the, you know, so I met him. He's like looking for a coffee shop. Come with me to my coffee shop. And we go through these alleys. It's like who tones? Allie after allie after allie. He's dressing this like African gear. He's got this dog with him. And I went with him around. And it was getting more and more. And I'm like, man, starting to get a little worried. Actually, where are you taking me? Come out of the alley after like four or five minutes of walking. And I'm, he's like, come on, come on. He opened a coffee shop. Blackpire coffee. I think it's close since then. He called everyone their pseudo-spiritual narcissists. He was the coolest guy I've ever met. And he was raising money for an orphanage. And at first I was like, I just gave him a 20, 20 Ketzel. Because now it's on me, the coffee, because we've talked for a long time. And he goes on me, like, well, then give it to the orphans. And then I walked away. And I remember I was high. He got me high. He got me high. Give me a minute. Give me a minute. Three, two, one. One, go. And then I remember that Kevin Ryan had given me $300 to give out to the proper causes when I come across him. Before I left, I didn't find all of it. Or you garbage. And I walked away. And I, first of my, you know, it's like, ah, don't go back. It's going to be weird if you go back. No, I was like, I'm going back. I went back and I gave him $100. Or the equivalent in Ketzel, which is a ton. And he goes, I'll bless you many times. You, I'm like, it's for the orphans. You have many times you're a great man. Man, when I'll bless you, not much better than that. God bless. Eh, homeless people can do that. I'll bless you. Ooh, you know they hold those back, especially for this. You know they hold those back. So anyway, he told me all about Somali land. How it's free. And how Somali is a different thing. And I'm like trying to understand it. But I didn't quite fully get it. And then now the Conor came in. I was like, well, this will be perfect. We can talk about it. Check out Conor's Small Brain Americans. YouTube video on Afghanistan. It's time to Afghanistan. It's down to be a good one. The guy fucking lives. Ooh, today's episode is edited by Alan Caffee. It's produced by you through Mom's House Network. Can I get on here? Let's go Yankees, first and foremost. Next week, Parker McCollum, country music star, Parker McCollum, coming up to tell us about Switzerland. Please subscribe. We're every watching the listening. Oh, and don't forget the Patreon. Patreon.com/UBtrippin. It is every week. It's an ad free version of this podcast. It's also every episode of Skeptic Tank. Go on up slowly because pain is taking. But we'll start with Somali. There'll be a message board where you can talk about travel, which is for the members and nonmembers. We'll be moderators. We can tell them to show them your travel pictures, stuff like that. Ask questions if you're going to a place. It's just too close. And that's it. It's just a great place. Plus, there'll be merch stuff if you've been a member for over a year. So shit like that. Limited edition stickers, mugs, shit like that. Only you can get it on Patreon. And you're going to use that money. Or send it to someone. Finally, I'll chip around the world. I've reached out to everybody. I've got these five finalists. They tell you why I'm thinking about each one. On the Patreon, didn't have to be a Patreon member to apply. In fact, I don't think anyone's worse. But yeah, you and I together are sending someone on a one-year backpacking trip to live like we would like to. Take that money. I don't have, yeah. My Patreon is not going to blow the banks out, but I'm going to take that money and do something cool with it, which is sending someone on a fucking cool trip for a year. Backpacking. Oh, I'm jealous. No, I'm fucking jealous. Dude, it rules. Hanging out. I spoke at Ralph's, Ralph's travel writing class for a day. Then I met up with all of them. I guess I'll talk about more about this on the next one we do altogether. But man, Paris rules. I just walked around town, like looking at Space Invaders counting. I was hoping to get like 20. I got to like 80. Space Invader, if you don't know his artist. Actually, I would love to have him on this podcast. I think he's, he's, he's high. It's because he's illegal. But Space Invader, come on and wear a fucking. I got a Diablo Uma mask for you to wear. Ecuadorian party, spiritual party mask. With eyes in the back. So this evil spirit can't sneak up on you. 12 Horns for 12 months. Space Invader, you got to like that. Or bring your own mask. I bet you have a mask. Unless you're out, then you can do it, however. But anyway, which is one of our counting Space Invaders. I went up with rent as easy. And we just like, chill. Dude, it was so fun. Paris fucking rules. So there was a train directly from London. And it let me just sit back. And like, I'm not going to look for plays to live anymore. I'm just going to fucking go and join my time in Paris. When I come back, I'll start looking again. All of the students get their places. And I did. And I found a so-so place. Maybe it still doesn't sound the least. Anyway, Yankees boys. It's Yankees season. Let's go fucking Yanx. Until next week with Parker McCollum and Switzerland. I'm Irish affair saying. I don't know what they say in somebody like that. Stormy, don't hate me. I'm sorry about that joke. Thank you, Connor, for coming in. You're always rule, buddy.