Sinister Guys with Mormon Wives: Monday, September 14th, 2026

[Music] Welcome back to The Toes and Happy Monday. Hope everybody had a wonderful weekend, whether you were celebrating the holiday or not, whether you were hanging out with Alex Earl or not, like not having to yell, "Yeah, I did both of those things." Hey, Jack, how you doing? I'm doing good, coming off the holiday weekend, which was fulfilling by ex-house-ing. Let me tell you, it's "house-ing." I have so much PFFB to share. This has been the busiest weekend of my life. And it started right after The Toes. I would have had so much to say, "I'm at my day on Friday." And then we had the holiday. I watched The Secret Lives of Mormon Wars, of course. I hung out with Alex Earl at a star-studded wedding last night, like, I have so much to share. I think we should just go chronologically. Okay, what happened on Friday? So I told you guys I was going down to the World Trade Center on 9/11, actually went across the street. It was not like in. I thought I went to the wrong building, whatever. I don't know if you know about this thing called Charity Day for You Know Canterfits Gerald. I know Canterfits Gerald and I know their story on 9/11. Yeah, they were, I think one of the companies that lost the most employees, like a couple hundred. And what they ended up doing was rebuilding their whole company and creating this huge fund for the families, like, still to this day, anyone of their employees, family members are covered by their insurance and they got millions of dollars. It was like an amazing, and they do this in called Charity Day every year where it's, I don't know what they do for it. Like, it's like a financial services form, like, day traders and stuff. Like, I thought it was a law firm. I don't know. It was like Wolf of Wall Street, like, day trading. And every 9/11, they give back to a million organizations, all these organizations consign up to have celebrity ambassadors come and do, like, day trades at the office and a portion of the proceeds. And it's turned into, like, this, like, obviously amazing millions of dollars donated every year, but also, like, star-steaded affair. I think a lot of celebrities, like, want to be a part of it. And I was asked to be a part of it for Big Vision, which is, like, a New York City based organization started by my friend Beatrice, which, just, like, a bunch of work in the sober community in New York City. And so we went to, like, raise money. And, okay, like, obviously, I was there for charity, and it was, like, amazing 9/11, but, like, my head was on a swivel. I was being, like, I was technically, like, one of the celebrities, but I wasn't. I was, like, literally, being, like, a rat, like, running around looking for everyone. It was, like, true a-list. Alex was there, but I did miss her. It was fine, 'cause we hung out on Sunday. >> Thank you, Connor, for later in the weekend. >> Correct, correct. Carlinthony Towns, Ben was with me. He was freaking, OGN and OB was there. All the nicks were there, except I don't think I, I don't know if Jalen Bronson was there. All these athletes, a couple of people, like, who I had no idea who they were, but, like, everyone was freaking. Shaq was there, Biola Davis was there. Like, it was sick, and I, like, was day trading. And there was, by the way, like, every, there were so many swirlies, like, the finance swirlies, they found me. So, how do you day trade? >> That's a good question. So, basically, how I understood it to be, was that you stand in front of this huge monitor, like, this huge monitor, and you trade. Like, you have phones, and they're not, like, phone phones. >> You call them in, you call them trade. >> Yes, it was kind of, like, old school. So, you'll talk to a broker. So, when they had a trade, they would, like, call a celebrity over. It's like, I took this trade. Oh, my, this guy, I don't know. I assumed, like, a lot of the guys I was speaking to, like, had no idea who I was. Sometimes they were hoping to get, like, you know, Tiger Woods, and they got Turnie Lou. >> And the same, but different. >> This guy picked up the phone, and he was selling, like, two million shares of, like, Nike or whatever. I was like, okay, he was like, what do you think, Heli Glassman would think of that? And I was like, now you bring out my app. I was like, who is that? I was like, how do you know that? It was seriously so funny. Have the people, like, had no idea who I was, but, like, the swirlies, I got a female day trader, like, thank God she was so, like, normal and excited in 23. It was really fun. Honestly, like, I kind of got the bug. I was like, okay, let's day trade. >> Yeah, I get a big screen to computers. >> Yeah, in your house. >> A lot of them were using, like, standing desks though, and I do draw the line in a standing desk. >> Oh, no. >> Yeah. And then I got to, like, some of the government subsidies one, and that one was, like, so boring. And I had no idea what they were saying. And I was, like, actually, afraid I was going to mess it up. So I was just, like, I was trying to, like, bring personality because it was, like, a fun, but for that one, I was just, like, being, like, yes, okay, three shares, have a good day, sir. >> Yes, three shares. I really don't even know what, like, what this is. >> I still don't really understand, like, at a baseline level, what they do every day. >> Yeah. >> But I know they make a lot of money for their clients. Oh, and I was asking questions. >> I understand buying and selling stocks. Pretty much. >> Yeah, I think that's what I was doing. >> But it's called day trading? >> Yeah, because they, like, we were trading Nike and Starbucks, like I heard of some of the companies. Yes, when the market was open. But then, like, when I got to the government one, we were selling, like, bonds, and that's genuinely where they lost me. Like, and he was like, it's V3 bonds. Or should we get V2? I'm like, sir, I have no idea what you're talking about. >> What are T-bills? >> I think it there. >> Mr. Wonderful says you should buy T-bills. >> Did he? >> I saw it in a video. >> Should we? >> I saw it in a real, so. >> How old was the real? Like, is it current financial advice? Or are you giving-- >> Well, it sounded like, eternal financial aid. It sounded like it's the point of it. It's not that it's like the buzzing new thing. It's like, that's what you should do. >> Oh, I feel like that's a treasury. >> Treasury bills? >> Like T, because I always say, like, treasuries and don't take this as official, like, Jim Kramer advice, even though this is Jim Kramer advice, because it's bad and like, he's known for being like, historically wrong about everything financial. But they do say that like, treasury bonds are like, safe forever. But seriously, don't listen to me. Next thing you know, headline news, Treasury bonds, tank. >> Yeah. >> So sure, so sure, so sure I really trust us. >> I had a really good time. Like, I hope to be invited again next year. It's apparently like an honor to even be accepted as one of the celebrities. >> Yeah. >> In case anybody was questioning whether or not I was a celebrity, because I do question that all the time. I am, and like, officially confirmed, I got to go to Canada for shelter. Like, it was a really big deal. >> Yeah. >> And there wasn't like a million influencers. Like, I feel like I was representing the digital space, like me and Alex. >> And I saw-- >> And Jason Tarnick. >> Brooks Nader. >> She's a model. Jason Tarnick too. Like, we were the digital crew. >> Okay. >> Well, he's like a finance guy. >> Okay. >> So yeah, we like sort of held it down for the digital community. >> That's so great and like such a nice event and a great conversation. >> It really was. And I liked being like downtown. I felt-- I obviously got there a little early. So I got a slice of pizza. And I was at this random pizza place, like in the middle of the financial district. >> You grabbed a slice. Was Ben there to see it? >> He wasn't, because he was parking. And he was like, did you get me a slice? And I was like, no. This pizza place, like it was so OG. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was there on 9/11. Like it was so OG and there was like a bunch of cops. Because it was also the memorials. There was like fire policemen. Everyone was in their like, you know, official suits. They were walking around. And they were like talking to each other. Oh, where were you in the pizza place? And I was like, I feel like this pizza place like saw stuff on it. I should have asked, but like, I don't know. I just like really liked being like a part of-- >> Like I was really-- >> And I was there, you know? And all the guys when they were talking with each other, they were like old school New Yorkers. Like I could just tell they had stories. But I wasn't going to ask them to tell me their stories. >> So you just even stopped. >> And ate pizza. And they gave me a free garlic knot. Like seriously, so sweet. >> That's so sweet. >> New York, New York. >> That's so sweet. You know how I go down like historical werewolves. And like become hyper fixated on like certain historical events. Like, of course, the Titanic. >> The Russian royal family. >> The Romanovs, Chernobyl, Queen Victoria, Medici. I feel myself going down to 9/11 one. >> That's like such a hard one. Because it's so recent. >> I know. >> I think when you learn about major tragedies, like some of the sadness is like pulled from it because it was so long ago. You know those people are dead. But like they would have died anyway. Like it's hard. There are people walking around who's like dads. Like it's a little so fresh to go down a rabbit hole. >> I know, I know. I'm trying to stop it, but like I can. And I feel like I'm about to read the only plane in the sky, which is like what everybody's telling me to read. It's like an oral history of the day. Like minute by minute. >> I think. >> Well actually at Kenneth Sherald, I got a book. Howard-- >> Latinic. >> His sister, Evie wrote a book about the families. I have a copy. Maybe I'll give it to you if you want. >> Oh yeah. No. His story is crazy and so sad. >> So sad. >> And I just feel like with these like wormholes, like the only way out is through, you know? >> I know. >> I can't just keep watching like Reels and Little Clips. >> I know. >> I think I should just like read the history. >> I feel like, but then I could see myself like getting, like following up with that with like a war on terror. >> Wormholes. >> That's a extremely dark road to go down. So go at your own risk. >> I know, but you just say can't help your curiosities. >> I do feel like 9/11 was kind of a, I think a nice entry into celebrating Rosh Hashanna, like with just a sense of gratitude. Friday night, Saturday, Sunday was the Jewish New Year. I went to synagogue. I prayed hard. And we ate so much. And I spent time with Sachi. I know like you got to be with the whole family. Like, I got to be with Sachi. >> Also great. >> Yeah. And it was sad not to be together. But I do, and I am like very aware, 'cause we explained last week that like the Jewish New Year just started. The first nine days are like a very special important time. And you're really supposed to be on your best behavior before, you know, the Lord writes the book of life. Will you be written in? And so even today, I was like about to say something really fucking nasty to Ben. And I held my tongue to Ben. >> Yeah, it's gonna be hard to be clear. It was about someone else too. It wasn't like me and to Ben. >> Yeah, it was actually like a really mean thing. And maybe I would have normally not even thought about it. >> Well, that's good. >> Yeah, so today's episode is missing a little bit of the zest. Just know like, I am working actively on getting written into the book of life. So like judge me not. >> Yeah, it's true. The holiday has started. The days have commenced. It ends on Yom Kippur, which is next Monday. >> Yeah, so there won't be a show a week from today. >> And just don't wait. >> It's a test we would rather be live. streaming the toast for 24 hours than then fasting. - You think you're suffering without the toast? We're suffering without food for 25 hours, okay? - The only thing I'm worsting on people is like making it longer by talking about it all the time and like thinking about it. - Okay, I'm on. - So we're moving on. I hosted the second night of our Shoshana in my new house, like my first feast in the new house, literally working so hard. But we were literally like screwing in light bulbs, like as I'm setting the table. - Yeah. - 'Cause finally like the right ones come with the torch end, so I had to class it up a little bit. - Of course, of course, very beauty in the beast. - Yes, very beauty in the beast, lots of lanterns. And it was great, I made the J. Cohen brisket, which I love to make. - It's a timeless recipe. I always doubt it in the middle. Like when I take it out of the fridge the next day, I'm like, "What is this dress?" - No, it's kind of like a crazy recipe. - You have to trust the process. - You do, because like an hour before, it looks weird. - Yeah, and then I like, I got a little nervous and then I served it whatever carried on. I like, forgot to ever taste it, until we sat down. I was like, "Oh, this is really good, thank God." - Yeah, you can trust it. Like we have, and we've made it like wrong. We've made it right. And it always turns out good. - I just wanna say the best time we ever made it was that time that we vlogged it. - Vlogged it. - And we didn't know what we were doing. That was the best it ever went. - When we talk about like the great vlogs, obviously like the great chili cookoff comes to mind. There are a couple of, we always forget about the great brisket cookoff and it's one of our best vlogs ever. - Yeah, it really is. So it was beautiful. All of you hosted first night. She did an amazing job. - Yeah, I missed, like I had a phone call. - We missed you. - I also wasn't on my phone. You guys know I've been like keeping my phone off for Shabbat and I decided to do the whole holiday. So from Friday night to Sunday night, I did not have a phone. - Yeah, we missed you on the phone too. I tried to like be on my phone, like not on Instagram, just on like text if needed. But yeah, so it was like a very fulfilling, long weekend though, you know, lots of like cooking. - It was. - Oh my god, I then I like promised the boys French toast. So I'm like, I just, I thought like I was seriously like cooking like three meals each day, like real meals. - Right, giving 1950s housemaids. - Not just like whipping something up. - I didn't cook one single thing or clean one single dish. I outsourced every meal to my in-laws, like shout out to them because I really was not in the mood. - And it was lovely, it was lovely just to like go. - Yeah, but I didn't have that experience, but it was lovely to host. Have everyone on my new table, the rug did not get stained. - Thank god for that. - 'Cause I gave the children on stained food. And then at the end of like what was the longest weekend ever, I also had a wedding. Now I was actually really excited about this wedding 'cause you guys know I don't like love weddings unless like I love the couple or there's gonna be a lot of celebrities there. And last night happened to them both where like I love the couple and I knew there was gonna be a lot of famous people there. So Ben's friend, Mario Carbone of Carbone Fine Foods. Married his long-time girlfriend, KPLA, who we talk about here all the time. He's like an OG publicist. She's like an OG New York swirler like I've known her forever. And it was just like ever, it was, first of all, I knew I had a couple of ideas of who was gonna be there. Right, of course Alex Earl comes to mind. - Of course, me. - Of course, me. - Of course there was, and friend. - Of course, I like a New York knicker too, comes to mind, of course. There were a couple of surprises, you know, Sylvester Solone, 'cause I saw this woman. I'm like, oh my god, is that Taylor Swift? Like seriously, I thought I actually thought it was Taylor Swift. Turns out it's Sylvester Solone's wife. I didn't even know that she was like, over here looking like Taylor Swift, like she's gorgeous. - She's very beautiful. - If you wanna know what Taylor Swift's gonna look like when she's like more of a mature woman, she's gonna look exactly like that and she's gonna be gorgeous, like it was insane. - I sat next to her on the plane once. Did I ever tell you that? - Oh no! - And that's why. - Did you think that she looked like Taylor Swift? - No, well, you know what, when I was flying home with Charlie, when he was like two weeks old, when we came home from New York, like after a certain collage gate, so like I had a two week old Amian, I was just like, sort of focused on myself. - Of course, of course, of course. - But not enough to not realize that, Sylvester Solone. - You're still you. - I was sitting right behind me. - So there were like lots of celebrities, obviously I focused more on like the digital crew, and they definitely did congregate in a certain area, and I was grateful to be there and be a part of it. Remi, my mentee was there, who I spent like most of the night with. - You know what I've realized recently? Like influencers and like digital people, like they really do it for me. Like more so than like traditional celebrities. - I agree, I agree, me too. - Yeah, like when you're telling me all these people. - Wait, wait, tell me about the influencers. - In a room full of people, I look like, I look for Ashley Duprey Earl, you know? - In a room full of people, I look for Paige Paul. - Oh girl, me too. I did not know she was gonna be there, same with Morgan Stewart, like let me tell you. - More so than Jessica Alba, I don't know if she was there, but like. - She wasn't, I'm not that I know. - That's the sort of person people get excited about, like an act, just whatever, like no, I care about the influencers. - Yeah, and it was like kind of influencer heavy. And I said to Remi, 'cause Remi's like really close with all the girls. I saw her talking to Ashley and TJ, and I was like, you have to introduce me to Ashley, and she was like really? No, no, I was like, you have to introduce me. So I went over and Ashley had, like she recognized, I think she had seen what we had said about her. She was very gracious, very lovely. She's very beautiful. I feel that the show does not show what she really looks like. She's tiny, she's gorgeous. She's like a very chiseled face. TJ looks exactly the same. And he didn't say one word, and he was kind of scary me. I was like, either, he doesn't know me, and it's just ignoring me, or he knows me and hates me. Like, he was just like giving, like scary. I was like, okay. - I feel like he didn't know, like, he just saw you were like a fan. - I am a fan, but like, Ashley, I think knew the context, and she was very grateful, and she was so beautiful. Like, I really-- - You were taking me there. - Okay, well, I actually put something I really proud of, myself on, is like, I can be cool. Like, I'm a cool person. I do feel that last night, I lost my cool at one point, and like, I keep, I was telling Jackie on the phone. I keep replying into my mind. Like, I actually want to die. Like, I want to die. - I actually feel so authentic that you're gonna share with this. - Really? - Okay. - No, it's like, it's just not something, like, it's something someone would feel, but like, not say. - Yes, but I feel that I found the perfect analogy for it. And, okay, so, I saw Alex out there late, and it's crazy. Like, wherever she goes, there was like a light following her. She's seriously so famous. She is so gorgeous. Like, you've never seen the body, the face, the hair. Like, it was insane. Like, I didn't even know she was behind me, but I could feel her, you know what I mean? And I'm sitting at this table. It doesn't surprise anyone that, like, me and Ben ate the entire time. It was a very food-focused wedding. This is a man who invented carbon. Like, he is a world-renowned chef. The food was insane. Like, me and Ben just kept making plates. Like, we were eating, and we were sitting at this little table with like a random guy. Like, he was eating too. He was super nice, actually. And of course, Ben got his friend number, and they're going to Mrs. Together. But it was kind of a random crew. And Alex are all, like, walked by. And she, we, like, locked eyes for a second. I wasn't gonna bother her. Like, I've met her a couple of times. We're certainly, like, not friends. But we follow each other on Instagram, and like, I'm her number one fan, obviously. And then she, like, we locked eyes and she kept walking. And then she turned around and came over and said, hello. And she was like, hi, she was seriously so nice that like, the analogy I keep saying is because she was just, first of all, she was standing there like a statue. Like literally like a marble Italian statue. And I'm like sitting eating, obviously. And it just felt like a scene in like a 90s high school set, like, mean girls, literally. But she's not a mean girl. We're like Regina George, the coolest girl, the head cheerleader comes over to like sit at the loser table. Like, you know what I mean? I, because she was like, hi. And I was like, oh my god, she's actually talking to me. And I was just, I feel like the face that I made, I was like, hi. Like, I just felt like such a loser. Like, and she didn't mean to, it's like, I'm a projecting. 'Cause like, I am a loser. She was, couldn't have been nicer. I'm like, I think she did. No, it was just like, I don't, something about her. Like, I became like a loser. And I think that I'm actually inherently like not a loser. I'm not. She couldn't have been nicer. She was like, I've been loving your guys' takes. And I was like, and I was asking her all about the show. And she was just like, seriously, regal, queenie. Like, exactly what you would want your fave to be. I like, she is. Wow. Prior to that, Sally had come over. She was like, first of all, I grabbed my phone. My name is Saw Sally. She came over and she was like, oh my god. You guys are always talking about me. And I was like, yes, we have to call Jackie. She was like, call her right now. Jackie didn't pick up. I literally call back just what had gone downstairs to take the lid off my loaf and the oven. And I come back up and I missed a call. And I sent her like a screenshot of her mist face. No, I'm sent a voice, a voice, a video voicemail. A video voicemail. Yeah, a video voicemail, which Sally wants to chat. Which no one could ever find, but like, it is there somewhere. And it was Sally in page Paul. And then like, we all went to get drinks. And like, it was just like, not like, you were no longer a priority. But then you call me back. And so I, I, we did get to telecommunicate with Sally. She, they're just like the cool girls that crew. Like, you could just feel their energy. Ashton was there with London Barker. I don't know if I'm like, not supposed to say that, but like, they were out about cheating. They're dating. But like the girls and the surrounding planets, like they have seen our takes. They have seen the Earl Meets World recap on the toes. And I feel good about that, you know? And I don't do it for that reason, but it is always nice when someone saw like the nice things you said about them. Todd was there. And Alyssa cute. Yeah, like the whole crew. Alyssa's very gorgeous. They're all. Yeah, it sounds like it was full of gorgeous people. Oh, the whole wedding was full of beautiful people. Like it was actually overwhelming to be in the press. Oh, Sally Michelle. Literally, she was like walking in one room. I was walking out. And like, obviously, like, I know her. I love her and she did come on the podcast. But like, she does a lot of stuff. And she was like, oh, my God. Hi, how's your sister? And I was like, oh, and then she made, she was some introduce me to her husband. She's like, Sandy, these are the sisters with the podcast. And I was like, does you think she's me? She seriously couldn't have been nicer. And then walks in, Craig caught over. And him and Leah know each other. Of course, I was like, how do you know each other? Craig knows everyone. Craig looks really handsome. I love that for him. Yeah, and he said he had like a lot to tell me. And then like, I kind of never saw him again. And I was like hoping to follow up on what he had wanted to say. - He wanted to chase down that tea. - That sort of information, yeah. Oh, there are performers at this wedding, Benson Boone. - My fave. - Your fave, great wedding performer. Like-- - Yeah, for sure. - Perfect choice, like people young old, they know him. - Yeah, and his music is sort of music you want to boogie to. - Oh, it was boogie, boogie-ass. - Did he sing the Alex Earl song? - No. - And then she did a lyrical dance, a solo performance. - I would have loved that with Mark Valchewerckowski. - Yeah, time of my life. - Love that. - Maybe. - What else can I share before I wrap? Like, 'cause I just sort of at this, like, really important gala that everyone's talking about. It was beautiful, bride looked in the sand, body tea. - Do you make any new friends? - That's a good question. I actually knew a lot of people there, which was, like, nice to see. Oh, my girl, it has to meet you, like, love her. - Love her, friend of the toast. - Friend of the, do I make any new friends? I hang out with Remi Bader's mom a lot. Like, she's an extreme, extreme real one, you know? - Mm-hmm. - Did I make any new friends? Like, no. - I get anyone's, like, numbers, making a plan. - Oh, except the guy that, like, we were eating with, you know, at the table. He works, like, he's like a real business associate, Mr. Carbone. He does a lot of, like, the restaurant infrastructure and the construction for-- - I'm cracking up. - So if you see, very interesting. - If you see Ben opening a restaurant soon. - It's just 'cause he met the right people at the wedding. - You'll know where that comes from. - Yeah, Ben was, like, chit-chatting it up. Like, he became best friends with Cassie Meaches husband. They're, like, text-ing, like-- - That's so cute. And I like that for them. - Yeah, just a couple of, like, influencer, like, couples. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah. - Well, thanks for sharing. - Thanks for the invite. I was, like, genuinely honored to make the list. And I hope I didn't say anything, like, out of touch or out of turn, but, like, it was amazing. Like, I only have positive things to say. I'm sorry for blowing up your spot, but, like, you invited me. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was amazing. Like, it was, oh, and it was just a beautiful venue. It was a beautiful New York City night. - Oh. - And they had got married already previously, like, in, like, a very small ceremony in Italy. So this was really just, like, a party reception. There was not, like, a speeches. Like, it wasn't, like, it wasn't formal wedding structure, which was, I don't like when people switch it up, you know? - Yeah, and that's fun. - Yeah, and we just got to, like, eat. The food was so good. I don't know if I've said that three times already. We just got to, like, eat, drink, sit, and chat. Like, it was nice. - Yeah, I'm, you're making me hungry. - I'm always hungry, so. - I did something like, so, you're gonna hate this. - What? - So, like, I just felt, like, so adult when I do this now. Like, it's a new thing where I'm able to eat cottage cheese plain. - Oh, I could never. - Which I've never had. - And I happen to like cottage cheese. - I'm, like, I like it on noodles and, like, in, you know, my zesty eggs out. Like, with a bunch of other stuff, I've never just, like, sat down with a bowl of cottage cheese and, like, that's what I did this morning. - Like, gun to my head, I could, but I would never choose it. - I know, I know. I just feel like it's a sign of maturity. - Yeah, there's no, like pineapple. People like to do fruit, cantaloupe. - I can't really feel like I'm grown. - No vessel. The cottage cheese was the vessel. - Shut it, she stands alone. - Did you watch Ful, see your lies? - Of course I did. And it got down to the wire a little bit. Friday night, I was like, I don't wanna watch it 'cause then I won't have anything to watch Sunday night. And then, of course, I was in a rush, but yeah, I finished at 11 p.m. last night, and that is our first story. - Good, I'm so many thoughts. - So many thoughts. It's gonna be hard to give them during the 10 days, but what I wanna say is I'm not nasty, you know? - No, me neither, although I do feel that now, there are more people on the show that I dislike than I like, and that's annoying. - And also, like, the plates are shifting a little bit, because I would say, like, two seasons ago, Mikaela was my least favorite when she was like, just taking Whitney to task, and just being so missed. - And like, the stuff with Whitney when she couldn't let it go. And I would say after this mini season, she's number one or two. - Yeah, I think that this show, what I kind of like about it, but what also makes it a little bit inconsistent, is that from season to season, I feel so differently about everyone. Like, no one, I've like, except maybe Jessie, 'cause she's kind of neutral. There's no one I've been like, hardcore riding for consistently, or hating consistently. Like, everybody just has like a lobotomy between seasons, and becomes crazy or normal. - Yeah, yeah, there's a lot going on, but I think that's just like the pace of their world, their age, the environment they're in, where it really is, they have like every three months, they change the table. - lobotomy. - lobotomy. - So let's just have it because I have so many thoughts. - Okay, without further adjudity to do, it is time for the fast-fived stories that you do need to know. - And the fast-fived stories that you need to know are brought to you by honest. Let's talk to the moms for a second, or anyone who's ever had to shop for the babies. I swear the baby is one of the most overwhelming places on earth, there are a thousand options for everything, wipe, stipers, bath products, lotions. It is decision fatigue before you've even made it out of the checkout line. So when you find a brand that you trust, it's just one less thing to worry about. 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Travel.com/T-O-A-S-T. Make sure to tell them that we set you foratravel.com/T-O-A-S-T. - Thank you, Torah. - You're welcome, Torah. - Laura. - Our first story, secret lives of Mormon wives. Season five recap, five episodes of the new season of secret lives of Mormon wives. Just dropped, unclear if there's gonna be like a second half 'cause it ended on it to be continued or if it'll just be season six. - Yeah, I think that, oh, oh, I think we'll get a season five A and B, like before the production pause and after. And when I realized what they were doing at first, I was like, oh, before the production pause, this is gonna feel old. But I think that it was really necessary contacts for everything. - Yes. - I have so many leading thoughts. My first thought, I was like, seriously, thank the fucking God that ABC canceled the Bachelorette. Like, if I wasted my goddamn time watching that, she's so unserious. And I can't tell if they're setting up this, with these five episodes to make Taylor look bad or good because she looked so bad up until the last minute. Like, up until the last minute. - Seriously, bad decision maker, bad reality star, bad friend, bad everything. And it's like, it's, you know what? It's like, you remember what Demi was saying. It's like, how much, like, you're going through a lot for sure. But like, how much rope can we give you? Like, it's like enough already. And I was so there with Michaela and Macy. It's like, seriously. - Yes. - Enough. You're fucking Dakota the night you get back, you're engaged and you're making light of it. So it's like, oh, you could joke about it, but then nobody else could joke about it. You are seriously making some of the worst decisions a human being could possibly make. And we're all just still supposed to be like, champing you and not, and you know, Michaela, Macy, all right, she's a terrible friend to everyone. She's not, they are her friend. She is not their friend. - Of course, she doesn't have the time, the energy, the thought to even check in on it. She doesn't have her text anyone, how are you? 'Cause she doesn't realize, like, that I'm sending her crumble, like, they're always sending her food and gift cards. Like, yeah, like, little thoughtful things like that. And it could just go so unnoticed. - Yeah. - And they're all just supposed to be grateful because she invented this mom talk scandal and got the show. But at one point, well, a point is your gratitude run out. - Yeah, and I think some of the girls are like that where they're like, they don't challenge her and they're a good enough friend to her because it pays well to be her friends. But someone like Macy, like, deeply cares about her. I would say Jesse, too, where it's like, it's hurtful to see your friend going through this and it's hurtful to have a friend that you love who doesn't care for you in the same way. So, like, it's not just business, it's not just show. Like, it is also real friendships, which I think makes it so complex. And I agree, like, when they said it was like five weeks to the production point, I'm like, oh my God, we've been through so much since then. Like, I can't believe-- - Jesse's talking about how she's trying to work out with Jordan, I'm like, what? - I'm like, I can't believe we're going all the way back. But yeah, we never found out why they really had the pause and how they got there. And there is so much interesting stuff. - It was the CPS thing. And it's coming off the heels of, like, this really bad fight between the girls. Then they find out that she's been called CPS on her. And I think the girls are, like, of course, they want to support Taylor. But on the off chance that the CPS allegation was true, they didn't want to come down on the wrong side of it. Oh, and if it on the off chance it was false, they also didn't want to come down on the wrong side of it. - No, and it's like at a certain point, like, we need to wash our hands in this. Like, I do think that the CPS allegation was probably made by, like, a bad faith actor. And, like, that it wasn't 100% factual. But it's, like, at what point do we not want to be a part of this anymore? And that's why Michael is, like, I'm team kids. Everybody's like, well, he did this. It's like, seriously, I don't care anymore. And it's like, they are both victims of each other. So it's like, I couldn't tell if the season was trying to set it up, like, the Taylor is going to come back and they're, like, trying to give her a platform to, like, rebound with the audience. But, like, for me at this point, like, I'm so over it. And, like, I did feel bad for her when she broke down. But, like, at some point, as a woman of a certain age, as a mother, like, you have got to pick yourself the fuck up. And just, like, it's five years already. Like, it's just, she's very, very hard to root for. - Yes, I didn't feel bad. I was mad at her the whole time. And I've been very gracious with her, like, through everything with the bachelor head and everything. So I feel like good about how much grace I'm giving her. And I did not feel bad for her at all this season. I didn't feel bad for her when she was crying after the fight, after she was so nasty to her friends. Like, literally, like, treating them the way she was. - That conversation was so crazy. - To code it in a fight, the way she was, like, barking at them. - And so it is respectful, nasty. - We treat her code that badly. - Right, but that's obviously, like, how she gets when she feels attacked, she just, like, talks back, doesn't listen, nasty, nasty, nasty. And then, when she started crying, after, like, I still didn't feel bad for her because, like, you are making choices. You choose the same thing over and over again. Watching, it's so weird that she actually had, like, a really nice, almost perfect guy for her. So we can see how she adds. - Then? - Yeah, we can see, it's not even like, oh, she can't find a good guy, there's no good guys out there. We can see how she treats someone who is good, and it's wrong. - No, in fact, she went on the bachelor. - And it wasn't until she called Macy and said, I'm not filming because, to code in this friend of called CBS on me, that I felt bad for her, because it's like, wait, maybe this whole time, it wasn't that she couldn't leave Dakota because she loves him. Maybe she's scared of him. - Right. - Like, scared, not even the physical abuse sense in the blackmail sensing, you know what? She should have been, because between CBS and the video, maybe that's why she was, she never, like, fully cut him off because she was scared of what he would do, more than what he usually does. - So maybe, maybe that that's the case, I have not felt that that was the reason why she couldn't quit him. Her behavior this season, aside from, like, every argument she was in, she couldn't have been more wrong, right? She's taking her anger out on the wrong people, and it's weird that they all know what that Dakota abuses her, and they're inviting him to the housewarming party. It's like, there's literally an abuser in our house. Like, call the fucking police. - Yeah, well, I think for them, and nobody says abuse on the show and-- - Toxic cycle, toxic cycle. - Toxic cycle. - But I think also they probably thought they beat each other up, you know, that they just like do that. And it's like, if Taylor is gonna go and have sex with Dakota after this party, why can't we invite him to the party? - Why can't we invite him to the party? - No, I know. It's just like strange that there's a, they know this, and he's like still there. There are a lot of like legitimately, like really bad people on this show. I think Chase is one of them too. He, I actually, and we said this last time, the men of this show have ruined it, so in such a real way. I can't watch certain scenes, like Chase is a very, very sinister bad guy. - Yeah, and you just know that's not about the fact that he's an alcoholic co-head. Like we just sort of like, through that onto the bus. - Drunk driver. - Yeah. - Yeah, and you know, he just like loved driving Taylor away from her friends and like venting about the girls. Yeah, he is, he's obsessed with the women. - He's in a way that's so scary. - Yeah, I agree. And this season was focused way less on dad talk. Also, I think they got, they understood the backlash, but also there was so much like big storylines going on between like Whitney and Taylor and everything else that like we didn't need dad talk. And the men come off so much better. Like even Jordan had a good season. - A thousand percent. - Jordan had a good season 'cause we didn't see him. - He had one scene in the closet. - And he was saying normal things. - But he's best friends with Dakota. Like, I also think that Jordan is a deeply deeply-- - But he wasn't invited to Dakota's birthday party. So they were like, go and travel in Paris. - But they like, they like text all the time and he comes over to their house. - Jordan is also a scary guy for sure. - But we're just saying, let me just-- - Chase Dakota. - Well, they're like legitimately three bad, like bad guys on this show. They scare me. - Oh, we didn't see Chase. I don't have a problem with Chase this season. No, I know. Actually, I saw him making some funny TikToks. I love Chase. - Yeah. - It's just funny. Not only is it the editing, but I do think that these people are growing up in a very weird fast way. They're also when they first came on the show. We're all very stunted. I think that happens sometimes in Mormon culture when you get married really young and you're not exposed to a lot. So the people they are now, they change so much so quickly that I'm like, yeah, Chase, that's my mother fucking king right there. - Yeah. And I want to say, I don't know if this is like a hot take and I haven't really seen other people's opinions, but like Zach Affleck. - Okay, I'm so done with the Zach Affleck. - Agreed. - He had a bad first two seasons, but I think that like they were all sort of blending the world that they grew up in, which was like very sheltered with this new world. And it took a minute. Okay, so he was bad for sure. When she's so fucking crazy with her dreams and the fact that like her dreams don't pan out and like she didn't get the role and she blames her husband for not being supportive. And it's like, you know what? I actually respect him saying like if you're gonna act and like make out with someone in a scene, I'm not comfortable with that because we always talk about how fucking normal that is. Especially he's like very traditional. He's working through his like traditional values. It's like, oh my God, give them a break. He's literally been doing everything for the last two years. Well, you chase these random dreams. Now you want to be a singer, but you want it to be a dancer and you also have dreams to be a model. And now an actress is like, girl, what are you talking about? - Well, she is so off her rocker to the point that I almost feel bad talking about her because something is very wrong there. Something is something is not normal for her right now. Her confessionals, the way she's talking to the girls, the way she's just speaking in general, it's giving a bit medicated. The scene between her and Miranda in the studio was some of the weirdest thing I ever saw in my life. - My pink back, when she started playing for her self tape in the bathing suit. It was so, Claudia was so strange. Something is not right over there. And she keeps trying to test her husband. - Yeah, so she wants to enter marriage, but she doesn't want to be the one to do it. So she thinks that if she pushes him in-- - Oh, but then she's also pregnant right now, is what we know now. - She's so confusing to me. - But, Claudia, she keeps trying to test him and he keeps passing every test and almost makes her mad so she levels up and she's like, I want to do sports illustrated and he doesn't like that. And then she's like, well, now I want you to come to the priesthood. How is he going to go to the bishop and be like, my wife's willing to do sports illustrated? It's so contradictory. I feel like he's like navigating her twists. in turns as best as a human could. I seriously think like gold star for Zach Affleck, he has literally put to side everything that he planned to do with his life in service of her hopes and her dreams. I think he said they moved like nine times in four years. That's not for him. It's true. And he's just always like with the kids when she's dancing with the stars. Now she wants to act and sing and build a studio in the house. And it's like, Oh my God, how can you keep up? Oh, and I want you to become a priest. Every manic energy. Yeah. And then in her confessional, she seems like so zone out. Designed zone, not there. And almost like she's phoning it in, but not in a way where she doesn't want to work, but just she's not like capable at the moment of giving more when any time she argues with someone, whether it's her husband or Whitney or when she got involved in that may say, Makila, she's legitimately like just very consistent in making bad points. Like she's never once said something that I agree with. Like with Whitney. I do think Whitney is a difficult person to argue with. She reminds me actually a lot of you where I think she's very direct. She's good with language. She remembers stuff. So even if she's wrong, which I don't think that she is wrong, she comes off as a winner because she's a good fighter with words. She's very calm. Yeah, but I get like so emotional in all of these arguments. There's not really like a right or a wrong person. It's just like that's convey how we feel. I disagree. Some of them. But most of the time it's just like perception. Let's convey how we feel. Let's apologize and let's move forward. It's not like someone was so clearly right and someone so clearly wrong. It's just like the way you said something and hurt me that way, but you didn't mean it that way, whatever. But Jen just can't move on from things that Whitney has apologized for. There's nothing there except for jealousy. And even if it wasn't just about dancing with the stars, the way that Jen is moving now with like their hopes and the dreams and the acting and the singing, which is like what Whitney is doing. It's giving so jealous. I know. And I think of the issue with like set with Jen is she can't just be happy in mom talk. And I actually think a lot of the girls who are happiest in the situation that they're in. It's just being happy like being in mom talk, like just being an influencer with the reality show, like Macy and Michaela, I think that like they're working on their marriages, their kids, their family life while also being like working women, but not needing to go chase things in LA or New York. I think it actually is best for a lot of the women, especially someone you can tell who's up. They're different tears, right? We've got like Miranda and Lacey. Oh, sorry. Miranda and Layla down here. And it's like, I'm sorry, some of their scenes are just genuinely. And you can tell they want more. I mean Miranda is singing and Layla's modeling. They want the crazy thing is that Miranda released a song before gendered. Yeah. So there's like, I think tier two wives, which Miranda and Layla are unfortunately a part of. Then there's sort of like the mid-tier where it's like Jesse. Michaela. Sorry. Actually, Jen is bottom tier two. Michaela, Macy, and I think they all like sort of like are happy with their Utah lives. So it's mid-tier women. Those women, that's where you want to be by the way. Yes. Yes. To have a talent and have shallow mind on a cloud nine right now. I don't think like it's perfect. I think that right now it's good. But those sort of situations can lead to like issues at home. So I think like if more than you have just happy where they were. Taylor and Whitney here. And that's where Jen wants to be. Once to be. And she's not. No. And every time it fails, I think she blames her husband. And the thing is that is the best guy on the show. I'm sorry. And I think his biggest crime like in recent memory is going to talk to Whitney. Yes. But the more I think about it, it's like that's him being a good husband. That's what his wife was in a vulnerable spot. He went. I'm sorry. I would send Ben to the end of the earth and he would go even if I was wrong. And so the fact that he went and actually didn't even bigger check in his column for being a supportive husband. And all he does is get accused of not being supportive. And I'm so glad he shut down that conversation at that sponsored event at the so to place where he was like, I've been trying to have this conversation with you like for weeks. And I you want to have it on camera with me holding our baby. Like seriously, I cannot stand Jen. I feel bad. She's like very lost. Yeah. And I don't know what she's doing. It's not like reading as copacetic over there. Like it was it was concerning to watch. And then when she was arguing with Macy McKaylen and they were like, you said we were the most supportive. And she goes, I said that in the hopes that you would become supportive. I said that because I wanted it to be true. If she had it, that's like the worst argument I've ever heard. That's what she had a history of saying things in the hopes and the hopes to be true. Maybe we could establish a pattern. But that was crazy. And also like her going to support the weakest link Taylor right now. Like, Oh, no, I'm sorry. When Taylor pulled up Jen into her corner, I said, Oh, you've officially lost the plot. You like we're not seriously. And she spent the whole conversation trying to find that one TikTok from three years ago. Yeah. And like Jen is just like, she's not in the group. She's just like she's going on the trip. Like she's not there. She shouldn't even be on the trip. I'm sorry. Her going on the trip. I saw Zach Affleck like defending her in his comments. Once again, being a good husband, being like, we don't a part of production. Like you have to go. Like it wasn't a question. So it's like, yeah, she like looked weird. But like a better thing for her to say, I mean, she would have to feel this way. But like if I was in her position, how I would feel is like Whitney, I think you and I are going to be friends again one day because I like value our friendship. And like we will figure out our issues and we will get there. And I don't want to have missed this moment for you. Right. Right. That conversation was genuine. And then she's making the TikTok by herself. Like she got by herself. Clutch. She's just like desperate to be a victim. She is. And that's what the girls are saying about her in her marriage, in her work life, in her friends life. In the past few seasons, she really was the victim. I think when she was like having mental health issues. Yes. And then she got pregnant again. And her marriage like was not suffered like in her husband was not. And the women were so mean to her. She was the victim. And so I was like, stop being mean to her. But right now she's not. She got dancing with the stars to yes. She is in like a beautiful house with her beautiful family. She just had a baby. Like everything is good right now. My girl. You're not the victim today. No. And I think the sheer fact that with Jen doesn't let Whitney get away with anything after Whitney was there for her in such a real way. Like not in the camera. I think in like a real life way with her prenatal depression. And all the women were like seriously so mean. It's like the way that Taylor gets a free pass for everything because she has like a toxic relationship. She should have been what Jen got for having prenatal depression. And they were just still so hard on her. Whitney was there for her in such a real way. The fact that Jen just kept whatever her small issues are with Whitney. Like you said this to me to get over it. Like seriously, this is the person who we are to touch a kindness to you. And you're like insistent on unremembering her by her worst moment. Like that's why I would never want to be friends with her. Yeah. It's because she's constantly seeking victimhood. Yeah. I kind of be friends with someone like that. The conversation on the stairs was even more upsetting when I remembered that ever was there. Yeah, that he was in the house somewhere. And like I would you would hope that and it's Dakota's day clearly. So that's why like he entered with Dakota and probably left with Dakota. But like that's bonus time that you get and like your mom is acting crazy upstairs. Like that's where I was like with Michaela. Like I actually no longer concerned in getting down to the bottom of like who's the abuser and who's because they're both terrible parents quite frankly. And like that's all I really care about. Yeah. No, that was like so on. Why was he there? They knew it was like going to be the big explosive thing. Like I don't know when you're going into a party whether it's going to be like I don't know. I just if I were to I would just be like so excited to get some extra hours like with him because I brought him to a thing that I'm going to be at. Yeah, even though I think she has majority custody. So like she's not lost for time with him. Yeah, but still like I actually commend Macy and Michaela. They handled that crazy bitch and that whole conversation. They were so calm. It's actually crazy to watch her misunderstand them in real time. How did Chenaya attack you? You just said to me, Chenaya did nothing wrong. Actually that's quite literally verbatim not what she said. Yeah. Like it was crazy to watch a crazy person. And it's the craziest is like what Chenaya did was wrong but what Dakota did was more wrong and he's in your bed. So why can't I move on from Chenaya? That's the exact thing. It's like we're so mad at Chenaya. We're mad at Miranda because her friend did something which by the way, what the fuck to Chenaya O Taylor? Like seriously, she's just having sex with some random guy. But Dakota is standing there in the clear. Yeah. It was insane. Also, I thought this last season, I can't remember if I said it. And I feel like it's kind of like a crazy thing to say. And obviously this is like, I have no proof just like based on vibes. It just feel like there's an element of like drug use in this show somewhere because like the the very manic mood swings, the violent behavior, her like drinking from the bathtub, like that just gives like sort of and also I think her relationship with Dakota sometimes feels like, you know, like a toxic sort of like, I don't want to like make allegations but like it's sort of like an enabler like somebody who provides like, yeah, and past seasons when she's like locked herself in a room for days at a time like, I don't know why it like, I don't know why I just feel like, am I the only one who thinks that? I didn't think that. But then I saw like a tweet last night of someone like suggesting that there might be drug use and that would explain like, I don't know, some sweat stains or whatever. But also her having breast milk on her nipple, like the entire fight was like. It was interesting but it was like a stain and it was just distracting. It was fun. It was distracting. So yes, that could be like a piece of the puzzle. Yeah, I just feel like it might explain a little bit of it. I'm only searching for an explanation because it's very hard to watch someone who's in her 30s, like consistently put her family at risk, put herself at risk, but everyone around her. And when you guys were not even a hot one and when you guys were together, you weren't happy anyway. And then And also, it's like, if it is about-- - Did we forget he fucked your mom's friend? He literally fucked your aunt. Like, what are we talking about? - He's about love and being, you know, can't quit him and blah, blah, blah. And he has Evers walk. Why not just be together? Like, because the thing is he keeps hurting her 'cause they're not together. So he goes and does this other stuff. And then she's like, well, now I can never forget. Like, what if they were just together? And he, obviously, we're past that now. But when I'm watching this, I'm like, you only want to be with each other. You heard everyone else around you because you're hurting each other. And if you just want to be together and you can't quit him and he can't quit, you just be together. And like, if you want a crazy life, which is what she wants. Now, she says she doesn't want to get married. She doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship. She doesn't want to be with Ben, who would give her like that state. - All of that. - But like, if you want a crazy life, just go be with crazy and stop hurting everybody else. - Yeah, although I just don't think that benefits her ever. - No, and then in the final scene, I'm like, well, maybe it wasn't just love, love, love, love. Like, maybe it was also real fear. - I want to quickly talk about Jessie's face. - Yes, I would like to talk about plastic surgery as well. - Yeah, it really broke my heart. I feel like what everyone's like coming for Jessie. And it's like, well, obviously she made the wrong choice. She should have sat messing with her face. But it's like, I feel like that's exactly what happens when you just keep, I can only imagine the type of comments, DMs that they get at this level that they're at from all these crazy fucking female fans. Like, I think that it breaks my heart because if she weren't on the show, like maybe she was someone who was like into plastic surgery before, like in a normal way. But it obviously got to a place where she's unhealthy and that her boob is hemorrhaging. Like, it was really heartbreaking. She looked bad this season. - Yeah, she was still swollen. - I do think she's like a little bit back to normal, but she still looks like pretty different than the girl that we know. No, and like it actually really upset me. - Yeah, it also upset me. - It also upset me that these girls have had multiple boob jobs in their 20s. Every episode in the beginning was like, oh she just did her boobs. And it's people who have done their boobs and everyone's talking about like layless boobs in her confessionals 'cause they're like at-- - Folded in half. - Her chin, and you can literally see the silicone implant. I guess it was very fresh and they've since settled, I guess. But that wasn't her first boob job. Last season Taylor just got her boobs redone before the, like that's major surgery. Jessie had her boobs in a month before. Michaela just said she took her implants out in the beginning of this season. She was like, I feel so skinny and she looks great. - But literally, Michaela is my queen. She recently died her hair darker, and I think she's like really figured out how to manage her chronic illness when it comes to her skin. I was watching her take talks last night. She went to Paris with Macy, like she looks insane. - Yeah, and then I started to like feel bad. I guess not about the J, I didn't really feel bad. I just know she hates us. So that's why I felt bad. - Who hates us? - Michaela. - Oh shit, she dies because we made fun of J's last year. - Yeah, and then we made fun of her statement about the cream. - Oh, was that her cream? - When she-- - But I just want to say, yeah, I remember. - When she said, like, she compared to Taylor going back to Dakota to like her using cream that makes her sick. - By the way, I'm woman enough to admit, I stand by everything that I said last year and I stand by everything I say this year. That's what I mean when I say it, it feels like people get lobotomies between seasons. She was my queen this year. She's the only one with a backbone and she's still not backing down. She's been making TikToks. She's not forgiving Taylor Grace. Her rope is up with Taylor and I actually really appreciate that. It's like, you know what? Demi tried to do it. She was a couple of seasons too early, but I think Michaela should stick to her guns. And yeah, I stand by what I said last season. - Yeah, so do I, I was just like, I feel bad. Oh, 'cause she hates us, but you had a great season. Keep going. I don't know about like the Taylor fans who just like blindly stand her and I'm just gonna hate any girls who are against her. I did really appreciate that they brought that up because that has always been an element as to why Taylor gets Grace from the group. It's not that they all genuinely feel bad. For I'm sure a lot of them are at home rolling their eyes, me and like girl, make better decisions. The element of her being the most famous one, the most popular one amongst their true fans and the ones who the fans side with, I respected Jesse being like, I also just don't wanna take that. - Yeah, and it's also like, I wish you all had more of a backbone. I respect you even in just admitting like the reason why you're always up her ass. - But it's also production favors her, which is just so crazy. Even they gave her that penthouse suite. I doubt all the girls had that. - Yes. - Now you could say that because they knew Ben was coming so they like, are we gonna film in there a lot and they need it all the space? But she definitely gets favoritism for production. I would say this season, the way it's being edited and the way they're putting in all those clips of like talking heads and TikToks and stuff, it is not super anti-tailor. - Oh, I didn't think it, I thought it was the first time they were ever a little bit anti-tailor. - No, it wasn't. I guess we haven't gotten to like, barstool gate. Also her ordering all that dessert and then leaving. - People also said maybe like some. - That's just something like a true crazy person. - Yes. - Yeah, that was also one of the clues as to perhaps prithential. - And like, Macy and Mikaela getting like, shit on for Taylor, from Taylor being like, "You guys think you're also perfect?" I just feel like they've recently decided. It feels like in the last like two years, both of them have like decided to just embrace being a mom tech. They're not going for all the other things that the girls are going for. Like wanting to travel the world and be on Broadway. And they're working through that, 'cause they basically had a couple of things with their husband too, but they've quietly shut that down. They're working on their homes and their marriages and just like being happy with where they're at. And I feel like that kills Taylor. Like, because that's what they all should be doing. - Yeah. - And that's really what Taylor should be doing. - But Taylor doesn't even like pursue those opportunities. Really, the only thing she was ever gonna do that was bigger than the show was Bachelorette. - The Bachelorette. - She didn't even take it seriously. She could care less. - She didn't need to do anything outside of the show. Like she just was bigger than everyone else. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm curious what, also any rumors that like, they're airing this season of the Bachelorette in December. Seriously don't. - They're not. - They could never do that. - They just gave it away. They never would do that. - Not only did they gave it away, they let everyone know. Like, if you watch us, you're wasting your time. She chooses the worst guy and she chits on him that I check on. - They could have like bleeped out his name. They didn't. - Nothing. - They spoiled the whole season. Like, they don't care. It's over. - Yeah. Thankfully. - Also, at some points, it was like, Taylor was dreading the Bachelorette like so much anxiety 'cause she would have to like, answer for her crimes after the fact we were talking about how like the villain of her season probably was so glad that the season was canceled. She might have been a little glad the season was canceled. - Yeah, because she couldn't have been serious about it, even a little bit. - Even any bachelor nation backlash would never, would not have been as bad as what happened. - What happened? Yeah. - So I don't know what comes for the next, I am expecting five post-production pause episodes. And I would like that, but who knows? And they need to decide, I think like definitively, if they're gonna like, let Taylor back on the show. Like Dakota is not a cast member, he doesn't make money, he doesn't get to film. I think that like, continuing to involve him even more, like, enable him and empower him. And they also gave him money that he didn't have before. If she's gonna be back on the show, like he sort of has to be off of it completely. - Yeah, well, I think they also have like restraining orders against each other at this point. - Right. - That would actually have to be, while they're firing him, get rid of Jordan and Chase too. I never wanna see them again. - I do think that the show, whenever the next half comes out and then the season after, will rehabilitate Taylor. - Me too. Also, I know you have like high hopes about Marciana and like you're trusting your faith, but I have to say I've never just like someone more. - I think that they are like really cute. What is crazy to me is the fact that like, even after these episodes, Jesse still makes out with Chase. - Dates him. - No, Chase. - She does? - Yeah, like in the timeline, before she starts dating Marciano, she makes out with Chase at a party. - So, and she hasn't gone on call her daddy yet, right? - No. - And she's still working on her marriage, even though she said that morning, they're gonna get divorced. - Yeah, and like what's, like why they move houses? Like who? - I don't know, 'cause they had just moved houses and then they had that Halloween party in their new house. They were so excited. - Right. - So, but it looks pargy though. - Yeah, Ted. I love the secret lives of Mormon wives. It has gotten dark and I'm like, I'm still enjoying it, of course. But like, it's not fun. Like, it used to be fun. - No, but it was, it was good television. - Yeah, that conversation on the street was insane. The street fight, as they're calling it. - Yeah, it was. No, but it was really, it was good reality TV, which isn't usual. - It was. - It was with like healthy behavior. - Agreed. - But the entertainment box was checked. - Yeah. - So that's your secret lives, Mormon wives, recap. - But they're not filming. - Our next story is so disturbing that it actually, it's not about KJ Beer Men. - It is about KJ Beer Men. And it actually gave me a stomach ache. So I've been following this case quite closely. - Videos of KJ, we shared last week. KJ Beer Men was under arrest for allegedly sodomizing a female classmate in a sauna. And now the prosecutor is saying that videos of KJ Beer Men who is 15, having sex with an underage family member, those videos were found on his phone. So KJ Beer Men has been accused of having sex with an underage relative in a bombshell never before known revelation from court. The 15 year old who is the son of Kim Zolciac and retired NFL star Corey Beer Men appeared in Georgia's Fulton County Superior Court on Friday. During the hearing, the deputy district attorney shockingly revealed that investigators previously found videos on KJ cell phone that allegedly depicting him having penetrative sex with a family member under the age of 12. The district attorney said there were multiple encounters on video that were discovered on the device and that they allegedly showed KJ using predatory derogatory language toward the victim. Quote, this would now mark the second time he has been charged with an offense of a sexual nature of a very serious kind which involves female victims, the DA noted. adding that KJ was previously charged with sexual battery of a victim under the age of 16, which had not been publicly reported until now. In 2023 per the DA. He had been under court supervision since October 2025 following the alleged incident with the family member, which she said was reported in April 2023. After the hearing, his KJ's attorney told Page Six in a statement, characterizations made in court regarding the prior juvenile matter involving KJ beer and grossly misrepresent both the facts and the ultimate resolution of that case. The matter arose from inappropriate crude behavior involving two middle schoolers. It did not result in an adjudication for statutory rape, sexual intercourse, or any comparable offense. He argued that any suggestion otherwise is inaccurate and creates material and is leading impression of how the juvenile matter was ultimately resolved. Yes. So I guess like with evidence that they found just now it brought up this 2023 case that people did not know about. No, obviously, which would also explain why they did not let him out. Cause we were saying last week that they must have a lot of evidence that they're keeping this 16 year old behind bars until his try. Yeah. And like, they must have a lot of evidence of that crime. Because usually someone of his age would be like released home to his family out on bond, but it's not his first offense of this nature. And obviously like the internet is freaking out about this. And I don't want to like give it. I don't want to assume. But like, I think some context that people are bringing up is that when they discuss a family member in the house who's under the age of 15 or whatever, like there is a sibling in the house at that age. So they didn't say in the house that you said a relative, a female relative. And they also just a piece of context that people are bringing up is that this sibling, Kaya was sent to live with her grandparents a little while ago. I don't know how people know that. And so I think that that fact just came to mind when people heard this. It feels really obviously people are jumping to conclusions, but it feels like a relevant part detail. Every time I learn something about this case, I am, oh, and then I'm sure you saw the podcast clip of real beer men talking about how KG's like fast and yeah, like, I don't know if this was like a year or two ago, but she went on podcasts, like just catching up without her family. Everybody knew before this everybody knew their family, like obviously they're crazy. But they knew all the kids and from the TV show they were all on TV for like almost a decade. And she was talking about how KJ so grown up and that like, you know, he's trouble. He's obsessed with women and he goes out and he seeks out of the house. And he calls her late at night asking to send him a lift and selling me $100. And it was just like perhaps in the moment, like a cutesy story about like a rebellious teen. But now in hindsight, it's like extremely dark. Yeah, yeah, it sort of speaking to the character of this kid at the time. Yeah, but like when she said it, really, like not a red flag like he's just like, you know, a teenager who wants to go and live and stay out late and kiss girls, you would think. But now in the context of this, of course, this is so deeply troubling on so many levels. I feel genuinely sick to my stomach hearing all about this. I actually don't have words like I don't have a recap. I don't have a take like a fall. Like I want to vomit. I want to vomit. It gives me a stomach ache. I think it goes without saying like done with these people beyond. So fucking done. Never been so done. Never been to like it's seriously not funny. And I don't know if you saw I've ever heard from stemming from a reality TV person, personality family and must be how fans of the doggers felt. I want to say. Oh, yeah, I guess I wasn't a part of that like we never watch that show. And it didn't find those cases, but this is the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm sure you saw Kim and Brielle like a pap walked from court to their car. Yeah, they didn't say anything. And then like, I don't know why I just found the video offensive. Like them being so glam with their hair. Like they didn't say anything. I just like, I hated it. No, and like let him rot. Let him rot in a thousand percent. I wouldn't like show up for him. No, fucking crazy story. And where is crying all this? I don't know because it goes without saying like this is 1,000 percent. You know what? This is everyone's fault. Yeah, no, but it's like literally everyone. It speaks to really bad. A moral rot in the home. Yeah. Yeah. And a rotten individual, of course, of course, bad seed. Yeah. So that's the latest, let's see what happens. Yeah. Our next story, some happy news. 10 God Lady Gaga welcomes her first baby with fiance Michael Plansky. I'm so glad. In last week's track episode that I included that bit from Lady Gaga's friends, because like we were able to have a little bit of a. And we literally said, God, pop swirly to become a mother. And here we go. Lady Gaga and her fiance Michael Plansky have recently welcomed their first child together. Page six can confirm additional details. Any details actually are not known at this time. However, the family of three was spotted out and about together for the first time in Northern California. She was going for a walk with her man's and an unidentified brunette and wearing the baby in a baby carrier. Oh my God. So cute. Wait. So was it not confirmed that she was a surrogate? Well, I think it's fair to say that she did not carry this child just based on the photo because she has fibromyalgia and because she's snatched. Well, you know, some people do snatched when she's like wearing a crop top and a new born on your, I think it's safe to say I won't jump to conclusions. But no, of course, I think it's safe to say she didn't carry the child. I think also her history of chronic illnesses led people to believe that she didn't carry. But irregardless, not only to be like spookily call this, which like we literally were just saying. No, we didn't call it at all because that her friends like gave a quote saying they think that she's going to become a mom soon. That's why we were talking about it. Oh, I just feel glad that we chose that nonsensical story last week. Yeah. Oh, I thought we predicted it. My bad, um, obsessed beyond like for real. I'm so ready for the album, like get to work. I know you're busy going on walks and that's beautiful to sit down at the piano. You could still wear the baby. Yeah. She could wear the baby like she could really write an album in the next three months while that baby is just sleeping all day. Oh my God. You get so much jump when you have a newborn having a newborn is like low key easy. And you know, she obviously probably has help. Like, yeah, nannies, housekeepers, chefs, things of that nature. So it's like, girl, get to work. Yeah, give us an album. Give us an album called Mama. This is really sweet. What's the baby's name? What's the baby's gender? We know nothing. Yeah. All in due time. The way we're kind of carrier, uh, it's a, it's a sling like a, um, a wrap. Oh, like a scarf type of. Yeah, it's a wrap. It is not like a buckle. Got it. I love like when your baby is really little and you could do like the stretchy scarf. Like that's the best. Yeah, I love baby wearing, of course, um, of course. And this is just beautiful. This is so unexpected and really beautiful. Mazeltov to the whole family. Mazel to the Gaga plan skis. Mazel to mother Gaga. Are you ready for our next story? If it's our next story that's brought to you by Weight Watchers, the last thing you need right now is another thing to manage. 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And it was genuinely one of the most shocking things I'd ever seen in my life. Like when I turned on my phone after the two day holiday and the first thing that pops up is Megan Markle's real. It was a test from the Lord because I'm supposed to be acting right. And then they just put this like very low production quality video in front of me and I'm supposed to not say anything. Yeah. I don't think so. Yeah. What do you think the point of the video was? The point of the video I think though it could have been achieved like in other ways was just like pargy UK living I'm a lifestyle influencer mother of two and here's some pargy content, pargy mindless content because that is a content strategy. Questions that I have about that. Like what? It looks like shit. Like it's not a pargy video, you know. It's awful. Too wide. Like when she started doing that in tandem with like as ever and with love it's like yes you are becoming my service of something. In service of becoming like the next Martha Stewart. Like now it's like why are you doing all that? You know also like what is this films on are those the kids feet? I'm not sure. I could tell. It looks like adult and they're ring jeans. Is she wearing jeans? Okay, a jitterbug yeah. And like seriously why is the forest so blurry? There's one scene where she's filming the lake and I don't know what she's filming because it's so it's like someone sent it to her and then she sent it back and then they sent it to her again and she sent it back. So oh Megan was on Dumas this weekend. They said she was spotted. So far miles. So is that I've never been to so far miles but like I feel like that's it. It's like a huge property. We do on hikes and boats and fish and stuff. Yeah, but I think also apparently they're like looking to settle in the cops walls and like these are the vibes every day. So whether or not they were at the farmhouse like this is just what their life is going to be. I just do remember when she when she launched a shot my yeah and that was crazy. I was sad but she never like updated it. You do like when she was doing this in her garden it was like for as ever with love we're going to be lifestyle and influence or we're doing all of it. TV show product. She's obviously loved all that behind because it's not worked out and she's gone to the UK and like why are you showing us this like this it's like we it doesn't accomplish anything. It's also such superfluous content like for somebody who wants to be private like these are actually like kind of intimate moments with your family like genuinely like not only to be not enjoying this because it's low production value but you have claimed to want privacy and like this is the type of thing you would want to keep private right why are you showing it to us and now if it's and I think when she like exploited her personal life like for her show with a little bit of your personal life to explain like some of the business why you had the garden why you got the so maybe she's launching another business sort of like cotswolds with love maybe she's gonna be like with love cotswolds a lifestyle influencer in the UK which is a niche like it is a genre I'm there's a couple of that girl Lydia from TikTok like there is a sort of like very British kind of like a trad wifey type of sect of the internet so maybe she's trying to do that next. She's got to get a new phone. She's got to get a social media editor. Yeah I mean I do think that budget is tight like currently just because maybe they're still working out swindling like people in Britain to give them jobs but I think the American money like did run out and it's kind of expensive to have like a full-time hire just for your Instagram when you actually post like once every three months. Yeah but if she wants to do this like and also it's like you can be a public figure on Instagram and not have to have a social media editor you're just posted photo but like if you're making reels yeah and and you can't outsource and she should have done that what jitterbug she should have done that in Montecito like when she was making that Britney Steelyers guy. Absolutely when she was the Britney Spears of the higher like an actual teenager. Yeah that was not well thought out so we're still doing this really. jitterbug like why jitterbug. I don't know because I was actually throwing an Instagram and like her music choices on her posts are very um okay I'll be right back. I want to say bold like look at her wedding. Do you think that Glinda emboldened her? Okay jitterbug Dolly Parton just because I'm a woman no music cliff Richard and the shadows. That's cute. I don't know the other one. Yeah summer holiday. That's for uh with love Megan no music no music no music Paula Abtool for her wedding always remember I'm forever. Those are her wedding kind of is good taste. This is wedding also. I like this one. If you could feel like they're dancing it's a slideshow of them dancing at their wedding set to that song. Cute. Thank you for being here. This is a virtual audio lovely day lovely day. This is a good one. She's kind of good. She really she's such a grandma like yeah um she really never posts because I just want for three seconds. Jitterbug is in line with that music absolutely genre like on point. Yeah she is who she is. It's like that genre but British because she's now in the cult swolds. Yeah oh is that what and maybe they saw a bug. Jitterbug maybe like maybe they found like maybe they found a jitterbug on there. I don't know what a jitterbug is but maybe they found one on their cutswolds walk. Yeah so continuing to be confused. Watchdog podcast will continue to keep you guys updated on all things. Meg's it. With confusion Megan. I love that. Are you ready for our final story? Great news for some people. The family stone sequel has been set at searchlight with Claire Danes Rachel McAdams, Sarah Jessica Parker and many more mostly everyone except for of course Diane Keaton returning. Now if you've ever seen the movie I'm gonna spoil something so I have never seen this movie. I would actually love your take and I could just see you like loving Sarah Jessica Parker. I just saw a synopsis of it. It's like Dermit Mill Roney's like hot. He brings home tightly Wow girl friend comes home to his like Bohemian New England family. Yes they're very like free spirit. I watched the movie like later in life. I only saw a couple of years ago and I know it's like this. People are obsessed with it. It's like their favorite holiday movie and I didn't love it but like I understood why it's like like why people like it. It's also like it was actually good. It was just like the craziest movie. Like when you see the poster and like the family stone like he's like coming to get the family ring like it's just not at all what you think it's gonna be. Okay and then like it ends really sad. I saw a spoiler about civil. Which did work out what could I say what it is? The cheap passes. Diane Keaton dies in the movie. So that actually kind of works out like for the sequel because she couldn't be in it anyway. I don't know that this is a film that like needs a sequel but I guess like they do leave you with like kind of a like what happened like you know what will this family be like in ten years. Do you want to know the synopsis? Well because in the movie they like end up wife swapping. I'm gonna watch it. Don't tell me anymore okay. Okay okay. But this movie will pick up 20 years after the death of the matriarch civil stone. Something that was depicted in the original film is the stone family again reunites for Christmas only to face the season's biggest surprise, their father Nelson has uninhabited. and expectedly invited the woman he's fallen in love with to meet the family. So like that would be like the Sarah Jessica Parker of. - Right, but it's like who's replacing Diane Keaton? They're gonna hate her, no more. - And they're like, "Do we know who plays?" - No, it didn't say. - Well, it says that everybody's on board. I'm sure like this random movie that they did, which was not even popular at the time. I'm sure there's shock that it has such a cult following all these years later. So yeah, like let's take advantage of it. - Yeah, and now I do wanna watch it. Like I feel like I missed out. - Yeah, you kind of did. And like I just, I know everyone's gonna, I know you're gonna have an unpopular take on it, like. - Really? - Because like the whole point is like that Sarah Jessica Parker is the worst. She just comes and she just doesn't fit into this family and she just doesn't even try. And she's just like a miserable person. But at some point like they are like a little mean to her. And so I could just see you being like a defending SJP. - Let's see, you can put me in a box. - And then there's like this kind of like polarizing conversation at the dinner table. - Okay. I kind of like a political, not political, but like controversial. - Well, okay, don't spoil it. I'll watch it. Maybe I'll watch it tonight because I don't think there's anything to watch tonight. - Dancing with the stars starts this week. I'm actually sad. - Yeah. - To start today or tomorrow. - Do you like Tuesday? - Tomorrow. - Hopefully Tuesday, so I watch family. - Yeah, tomorrow. - Yeah, you should. I would love to hear your thoughts. - That's my homework. - And that's our show, nice long one. But we had a lot to discuss. - I hope you enjoyed. Thank you so much for listening to the show. We love the festers. You need to come on the Friday. On YouTube to watch us on YouTube. Please subscribe to this video. Thumbs up, also be well, as part of this video. And please be well, as part of this video. I really love this video. As part of this video, it's all the best. We love this sun and the way it goes. Hopefully you guys have an amazing day. I'll see you tomorrow. - Love you. Bye.