Side Stories: The Secret Sauce

There's no place to escape to, and this is the last hot cast on the left. Side stories? That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes. Oh, Happy Day, everyone! Lich McConaughey! Oh, there he goes! He's fit with life, and he smiles for everyone. Quick, hungry, get the chicken ball! Oh, yes! Yes, I have to shake the ball! Look at him go! Look at the guy! Look at him as ever, that's it! And the day he was born! Nothing is wrong with him, ever look at the smile! Absolutely makes me kind of fit to make decisions, man! Rust of fire! Yeah, he is fit to make it important to fucking government decisions, man! Lead us to the sea for the treasure under the ocean, Mitch! Oh! I sure hope he finds a nice island girl to sit down with! Really find it all, he's a party, the life of every party! Oh, life is great! Wow, thank you so much! Really great work. Mitch McConnell has made it back to work. So have we! That is honestly one of the hardest things to do is after a long vacation, is to get back in the saddle. I know, it's so hard! So hard, especially when your vacation is in the afterlife! Because that has to be so hard to be wrenched from the warm light of God, and be forced back to life every day in order to. I don't know what he's going to do, because he's just going to go. I guess he's just sitting there. He is just sitting there with that stupid grin. But I think they put popsicles in his mouth, so his grin stays. No, it's because there's a term called, I think, the lights are on, and there's nobody home! Yeah! That's what we're looking at. Welcome to Side Story, which is short of a picnic. You're right, he is because he can't eat solid foods anymore. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm doing buddy. And this is a huge, huge day. I didn't think Mitch McConnell would dare, I'd say, spoil our fun. Yeah. But no, he is out and about, he must. My full theory is that he has an illegal Santa Rhea witch held hostage in his basement and that each day she prays to EQ to Santa Rhea God of Death in order to. I guess it's like. Because I feel like they're taking life away from AOC. Oh, you think that's what it is? I think they're, or one of them, they're like saturating like they're doing a. I think in D&D, I believe it's called a life drain. They're doing a life drain on who's looking bad? Oh, who is the guy that was from Maine? They got all the gations. Oh, the, the, the, the, the Democrat. Yeah, that's who they're getting. That, that, that former Nazi guy. They fucking, they're sucking the life form out of him because he's not looking good. And so I think that's what it is and they're giving it to Mitch. Because Mitch is in a form of suspended animation. He just looks like he's happy to be here. What you think is just the sign of pure dementia. And the fact that he was brain dead for several days. And I honestly don't know if he can make a decision. Who is that, that, that stupid health secretary here? No, he was, he ended up being like a homeland. He was a black guy. He was, he was a brain surgeon. Oh, the guy that died? Did he die? The guy died of COVID, Herman K. Oh, Herman K. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He specifically came up. He's wearing Mitch McConnell skin. Oh, he wishes he was a black man. Mitch McConnell can't do anything. But you know, he's a slide. He's like, well, I can't with my shoulder. That will you keep feeding that wonderful Santa. Real witch and the basement. All her pie. All her delicious rises, get her some pernell. Get her some roast power. He just looks like he's full of eggs. He is full of eggs, toe eggs. He is just a, if he's anything, he is an incubator. Yeah, he's a host. He is a host at this point. But you know, Mitch McConnell all smiles back at work. And I just got to say I'm happy for him. Because there's one, you know what it is? I think he's only happy if he's either subjugating or in or shit in a bag. Yeah. And he gets to do both now. Yeah. Even though he looks like a shit bag. He is a colostomy bag. Yes. But with the ability to change our lives. Oh, yeah. Did you see the good news, though? I'll let Mitch. What are the good news? My girl, dude. My girl won an Emmy last night. Rosa Parks? No, Sally Field. Oh, wow. Sally Field. Oh, look at fucking hot dude up there winning for the the creatures movie. Who gives a shit? It's got field, man. We're playing, dude. I don't know if we should be. I love Sally. Yeah. She looks. Look at her. She does look beautiful. She is gorgeous as ever. I love you, Sally Field. She's saying she's looking hot. I mean, she is a beautiful woman. She's a beautiful woman. She is a beautiful woman. And we wish her luck. She's got the one most wonderful smile in the world. And I can't wait to see all of you. God help us. God help us. He wants to strip. He wants to strip elderly Sally Field down. I feel he wants to strip her down. And he wants to see her nude. Grandmob body. I don't know what it is about Sally Field. It just gets me all. Randy. God, Eddie. Well, let her just enjoy this. Let her enjoy this moment. We don't have to do that. I love her. This is going to get back to her. I hope so. Yeah. So don't worry. There's some guy on Netflix who wants to fuck you. We're both on Netflix. They like me. We're co-workers. This is the Netflix show. They really like me. Maybe I need to behave myself. Now they're co-workers. Exactly. Oh, you got to do the old fact. I take it all back. You need to send them. Edit that out. Yeah. Great Eddie. Yeah. And everything I said about Sally Field out that's derogatory. You didn't say anything derogatory. You just were talking about seeing her naked body. Yeah. But I do think that what we could do is probably send a note through administration. Do you think so? You think I could call Ted Sarandos and be like, "Hey, I really want to have lunch with Sally." We will never meet Ted Sarandos. And just know that if we do meet Ted Sarandos, it's not our fault. Yeah, it's just like, you know, we'll meet one of his people to just slowly shoot us in the meeting. Yes. No one is going, we're not getting anywhere in there. We are a podcast acquisition, friends. I love you, Sally. Come on the show. Yeah. Bring Sally on the show. We'll talk about lunch. I'll buy you whatever lunch you want. Anything you want. You like Zanku? Oh, my God. I bet she loves Zanku. Oh, I know she loves Zanku. Who doesn't? I like Zanku. Oh, yeah. You're the twice a week. I don't know if I like it as much as I just eat it because I know it won't kill me. I think that's, honestly, to be, that's most of the things I eat. Yeah. We got updates. Yeah, we do. We got updates. Another guy who's got a bad diet. Burbank Butsniffer. Now, he got put in for his longest jail sentence yet. The New York Post is saying that LA is weak on crime. Please be on the California Post. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't insult them. I'm so sorry. But they are saying that the Burbank Butsniffer who I believe got was 170 days. Yes. When the maximum for him to get would be 180. Yes. They are. So they're calling us weak on crime here. But I think our problem here is that Kalice Crowder is being very presidential where he's seeing a lot of loopholes in the system. He has begun. He has understood that if he keeps it at just a nose length away from sniffing butts, they can't seem to actually put him in jail for an extended period of time. And so this is the biggest. This is so far the biggest, the book got thrown out. I don't realize 40 arrests. Yeah, buddy. That's a lot. He has. This is what we're seeing here. It's because I was joking with our wonderful friends over at Math Senate kid. I was joking about the idea of that. Someone should fart in a bunch of diapers and give it to him as like a mella, like a, like, you know, like a methadone. Oh, yeah. For like his heroin, right? So he could just smell. He could pick it up. He could smell it and he can kind of move on with his day. But I think I'm now understanding. He likes the thrill of it. But I think besides just the thrill, he loves to sneak. I also think he's understood now that this is the crime he can continue to do. Yeah. And that this is as long as he keeps it at butt sniffing, this is the most you'll get. And so he'll, he's taking the time because guess where you'll sniff butts that are the most sniffed butts in the whole world that'll be easy to get at. It's prison. Yeah. Right? Because it just smells like butts in there. It is a lot of butts. So he's going to be, but he's going to be in a butt like center. But I think if he closes his eyes because we know now, officially, that women's farts are worse than men, we know that for a fact, according except for mine, except for yours. And I didn't get any challenges. I called out all of women and no one even said there was some challenges, but I'm not reading them. Oh, really? No, I don't care. You didn't tell me about my challenges. We are creating the facts here, my friend. We're creating the facts here. I don't care, dude. I don't give a fucking shit, dude. But no, that's why I feel like a man's farts in jail. It gives you even more jail than prison. Would equate to a woman's farts because of the diet in there. Also, I have to say, the California Post decided to change his name from the burbank, but it's an effort to the California Post. for your butts never that fucking honestly no and also fuck you dude fuck you it is not a california problem it is a burbank problem well the last time was in glenda he's extended he's extended the valley he's in the he's in the he's saying it is a standard of alley problem yeah yeah yeah yeah okay but also the San Fernando Valley butts never also doesn't really make sense yeah the burbank buster is the best name he could possibly have that's where he's located that's where he wants to be understand the only reason why he's not in burbank sniffing butts is because we side stories has pushed him out yeah okay he wants to be sniffing butts in the neighborhood yeah because burbank's got some of the best butts to sniff in all of california incredible voice actors uh some of the finest gun shop owners you can imagine yeah there's lots of makeup people there's so much but the sniff out here people visit from across the city here there's a good variety of different types of diverse butts if he has access here to different levels of also like you know monetary classes of butts so he can kind of experience all different types of things he doesn't want to be in glendale and because of raffes because I do think that raffes in glendale which is truly one of the best restaurants in the city that is also like it's a lot of meat it's a lot of cruciferous vegetables and I think that a lot of people it does affect their bowel health yeah no there's lots of farts in glendale there I think there's more farts in glendale than there are in burbank fluffles of very 40 food absolutely exclusive reference so raffes raffes is fucking good delicious get your ass raffes man that's that's what the burbank what's the percent first eating no you know the butt burbank butts first like eaten glendale share the love in burbank yeah by the time you get the perfect you'll be ready for me fully fermented you know but we here obviously know that it's a crime and I'm glad that they did what they could he's obviously going to do this again oh yes no he has figured out his place but sniffer is going to be sniffing butts until the day he's fucking a dead butt sniffer the way I look at it is the people in California the lawmakers in California have an 170 days to make a law they think you're out they need to they need to figure something out to stop this motherfucker at what place because I mean we're not going to stop talking about the subject ever so my question is and what level does it become criminal like and on what level is sniffing butts can you apply that to a helpful thing yeah no I'm asking like it's a sniffing butts on some level like is does it help medicinally like like I mean like in terms of like can a doctor sniff your butt and tell if you have cancer no a dog can though does it lead yeah dogs know well they have like the diabetes smelling dogs and stuff like that like if your blood sugar starts dropping they'll start barking at you and stuff like that so if there's no applicable to do that for my mom but she was bad at it because my mom died yeah but he was just going like she was more rooting on her death no I this is a whole thing here because if you can't apply but sniffing in a practical way there should be a law against you know I don't even know if they do they even make popery anymore I haven't seen popery around a while the 90s you couldn't get rid of popery I just don't think you're going to the right places yeah I think that you still I mean pure one imports is out Brad we shops out yeah but people getting popery that little old lady that runs out my little gift store sales popery I'm pretty certain the one that's like right down the street from here oh okay I think she sells popery I don't think it's as popular as it was yeah that goes it was really popular with women that survive the holocaust yeah that's what I think it was like it was always in a big dish and I always wanted popery but I'm always worried about like my dog granola yeah yeah as you should because dogs will eat it yeah yeah popery yeah popery's gone I think popery is stupid yeah get a candle wow yeah yeah you fuckers and if that's classist I'm sorry get a fucking candle but hey do you think of someone has like a really nice smelling butt the Burbank butt sniffer like moves on or I think he likes it no he wants I think he wants stinky right yeah he wants to ask the ones you not sniffing butts do not get stink yeah right if he wanted to sniff heads yeah he'd be smelling nice things if you want to sniff titties titties don't have a smell but it's not going for like us he's going for like no it's going for ladies yeah he wants ladies but yeah which is a piece make some of our big piece of shit you really think it'd be better if you went after men yeah cuz then we could fight him but I feel like women could fight him yeah but they won't win these you know he's he is a big guy women are trained you've been brought you've been also women will women won a fight yeah I mean I would love if someone around house kicked him while he was down there and fucking stomped on his head but I don't think that's happening I bet you think a nap for assault instead God imagine that and they get like 250 days because they're there for 170 and then you had a free because the thing is you got to prove you sniffing your butt yeah and that's really hard without to the thing is like you need to prove a man sniffed your butt what he really got in trouble for was when he did the peeping Tom stuff yeah that's that was what he actually got because there's a log against it and again it's just there's another example of a thing that is a silly thing to call something yeah it is a little too silly for what the crime is you know peeping Tom is just like it sounds cute yeah sounds cute sounds like a character from the smurfs yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly what we've talked about this before I haven't talked about that I've talked about this yeah it needs to be salacious viewing salacious view salacious viewing all right we have any other updates that is there's one other update the the guy who the grandfather from that horrible family that had the 16 kids so the house of horrors that we talked about how I think you remember was the cider family with Elizabeth and Gary ciders the second they both they got about married when they were teenagers they had 16 children inside of this house 17 now 17 we want to think one of the kids got out they were all rescued remember they were arrested with their grandparents Gary ciders senior and they all look like different breeds of Chihuahua yeah right so we got deer heads we got Apple heads we got this up and unfortunately Gary ciders senior the father he is just been now the big update is that he's been ruled and competent to be a part of the trial which I do think is interesting because they just don't I love the terms that they use they said that Gary ciders senior has been unfortunately affected by dementia and there is no fixing that well it's just like yeah there's no restoring him it's such a weird thing because like just because he has dementia doesn't mean he committed these crimes for decades yes it does well or it does it doesn't matter either way he's incompetent to stand trial so they're just saying that he can't stand trial because he has the same brain capacity is car me yeah and he has the same eye placement he's got the apple head but he looks like an apple head of thing it's so it's such a weird thing because he did it well we don't know if he did it or not right now it's like because when it comes to competency but when it comes to competency he could also technically be a victim you think so no no but he could technically be a victim as well I just think what the problem is is that at a certain level of like side stories LPL a gmail.com you know when we love our lawyers when you write his in and describe things about the cork because there is something that their idea is that he has no idea what's going on that's what they're saying he has no idea what's going on his eyeballs are looking into two different time zones yeah he legitimately is a paperweight he is Mitch McConnell but now Mitch McConnell's a senator here's the thing if they're trying to keep him safe a safer place for him would be in jail or a mental asylum but they're putting him out into the streets which is basically a death sentence for guy like this stories LPL a gmail.com there's gonna be a lot of people that are gonna save the opposite I do see what you're saying Eddie but I also will say if he is like he is just they've decided that he was not a part of the current crimes yeah dealing with which was the maltreatment of the children that were in the house so technically I think the way it also works is because he's not the direct father and if he was not doing anything to the kids because now we kind of realize because at first the whole thing was Gary Siders Jr. and his two-fuck and his and his father were do fucking everybody right they were fucking the daughters this guy's grandpa from the fucking Texas chainsaw house he could also just have been there that's what they're kind of saying this is what this is intimating is that he was just there as a paperweight yeah staring off a tube at the sunrise and the sunset at the same time and he would didn't actually fuck or suck any the children okay and he's not fucking sucking the children there's not really a heck of a collotic crimes you can do there because if he's not directly responsible for the children if the other two are there that are directly responsible and it's about the kids is malnourishment then they would be on the hook yeah and then he'd probably be considered a victim yeah this diagram really puts it into perspective how many kids there are yeah it is a great it is a bad family it is a bad the whole it's a bad batch it's a bad batch of DNA all of those kids are absolutely fucked they're all gonna just be those are all the kids fueling roblox damn we are there's a lot of kids here a lot of kids here when you just uh when you just put it like that that's fucking hard fun the whole army of degradation when I look at this sea of broken people all I just think of is I think we're gonna be fine yeah so oh my god yeah they're I don't even know where to start with this you can you can you get the audience needs to look at it the audience needs to go check out the quote unquote family tree yeah and so you can really see how not diversified it is yeah and um it's gonna be uh these kids are fucked these 17 kids yeah I think so oh my god all right let's move on That just got said they did get said I got that role I'm sorry for your great. Did you find Mitch and DC where you were just there? I was looking for him. I was smelling up and down. I was looking for the smile, the slime trails and I was like, my shows were great. I had a wonderful time. It sold out all but like eight tickets. The DC lounge. It was unbelievable. DC improv and the lounge had a great time. Everyone was fucking cool. A bunch of people came to the show that are coming to our show in Norfolk this weekend, which is really cool. I love them. People double dip. There's a Norfolk. There's going to be people coming out. It's almost sold out. It's getting there. It's got its problems. We need people to come out to the Norfolk show. We got to come out there. All the other shows are actually going to do great. We're going to sell out pretty much every one of our other shows. This weekend we got Norfolk on Friday and then we got Rolly on Saturday and then we're going to Brooklyn and Hartford and Redway and Portland and Burlington and Iowa City and Columbia. Stites always fucking hitting the road. We're back. Come and get some shows. Some of them already sold out. Check it out. Get tickets while you still can. Get them while you can. All right. I want to first do this story just because it's a funny picture. All right. I like that. So this was, I believe this takes place in good old fashioned West Virginia, which is where we're headed to soon. We're in that area. We're going down there and I can't wait to meet a bunch of guys that look like this. We stay out of the West. A modern day Confederate general who really wasn't that he was a former high school principal by the name of Eric James. If you look at this picture, he looks like Forest, Buford, the great grandfather that was in charge of the KKK. He put a bit of what would seem to be a pen shaped video camera inside of the girls changing bathroom inside of his high school where he was in charge. Now he was the principal. The only reason why to cover this is to understand is that the wall of Northern aggression did seem to affect some of Austin both superior and inferior way. And I have found on this day the 28th of September that I that should fall into the absolute hallowed grounds of a little girl's bathroom as well and I did put a I did put an observatory measuring device inside of the laboratory area of the girls changing rules and my first thought was does this increase liberty does this increase the whole the north has if it's aggressive tactics over the free southern states. Man, do we I think men should just stop being principals know I wish I could find our camera. But instead I'm just looking at the poopy hole of a little girl because that's what I like a gentleman. It is time for us to join forces and we will raid the poopy hole of this little girl fall back and forth put down put down your gunner sacks put down your hard tack biscuit and we will mull it up put your put your being that's forward a ruckus of the poopy hole of a little girl. I have talked to Peter and we are putting flock cameras inside of the aerosol flock let's like the bald Eagles that liberated this very country from the art from the tyranny of British British. The flock cameras will bring us everybody. It's a how does someone have too much facial hair but also not enough he somehow chose he created the only way I put this it is a brush that can hide the front line of general lease is out in his chin is he just like thin little fence no he wants to look like one of the statues they refused to pull down I just like what what do you what is so important about your upper lip I think you need all that space between your nostril and the little hairs you know it is that you know what I've just realized what guess what he didn't shave south part of his lap or lip yeah guess what is shaved the top the norther so eliminate that's what I'm here you have the illustration of a Mason Dexon line here ball my trembling upper lip because all my lips wish to do is kiss the tender brown poopy hole of a fifteen year old girl do you know the colors of the lips I'm a little girl of the same on the bottom as they are on the top look at the top of my lip look at the top of this lip look at the top of his lips I get dust from the poop holes and the dust from the poop holes here at the bottom here about in the bottom of my mouth that's my mustache of northern aggression oh man he looks like he just hangs out in the like the high school gymnasium a little too long you know he just every day covered in wool can't wait to just get he flaky he was so excited for Mitch McConnell to die just so that he can fly the the fucking flag and half mast yeah no he was robbed of that match yeah he it's you know like reenactment reenactors he's like an actor an actor he's in the civil war yeah he's still there he is in the civil war he's teaching it to his children like it's at high school like it's still going on yeah they definitely have a picture of Jesus Christ writing a Tyrannosaurus Rex yeah he's in that high school you know what I mean like that is definitely a place where they talk about like how black people were dog people from the stars right you know they got really deep into that you know it's like that you know that they got a lot of talk they talk a lot about the beauty of Norway and they wish they could go but dude I'll think it's a question we'll start so I think he's gonna go to jail for a while it seems that he is going to he's being held in a hundred thousand dollar bond which is not enough no it's not because you only need 10% to get out right that's it yeah so it's he's only 10 he's got 10 grand the only way I look at what I will need to do it's at a hundred and the one we were I was looking at yeah this other one I found says 200,000 so maybe it's somewhere in between either way that's too little because all he has to do is dig up some of my buried confederate gold because you know he has he has some kind of general ease forget what is it the bedpan he's got like something like that then he's waiting to sell there's another guy that looks just like him in the news oh yeah except he he was an interested in little girls or maybe he is I don't know probably only a man of the most autistic fortitude and jaws the poopy hole of a little girl a loot and bill dog breeder hit with 10 charges including animal cruelty and BCL now we haven't chosen to cover bestiality in a while okay yes and it's the reason why we're even covering this is because it's homage people yeah and if we weren't covering it we wouldn't cover it if it was just normal people the reason why we're covering it is because the man has the truly like it's it's because of the facial hair it's the same thing except he except he took it to another level he has no mustache and below he's beard goes starts below the sole patch his face he's even like see the other guy he's in Virginia this guy he's like he's more Georgia he's like he's no I know I know but I'm talking about his facial hair this facial hair looks like he's there's something without amish guys I forgot it means something it means something to not shave the lip or to shave the lip or like something like there's it means something I don't know what it means but this guy's hair cut because he's got full bangs amish love bangs and they love they love that full bowl cut they get a bowl cut and then his beard looks like a tongue yeah hanging off his chin all right so this is it so they amish men grow beards after they're married they continue to shave their upper lip as to not grow mustache when the amish community was formed in Switzerland mustache as we're associated with military service and the amish of theirs to indicate their commitment to fascism in fascism well that's great who gives a fuck it yeah who gives a shanky wrong thank you Rob that's how you're fault that's how you're fault that we not saying you didn't write it you didn't yes you didn't ready you just fake shit just dumb fake shit you know just amish people friendly that's basically what it is making up fucking rules they're not friendly okay the amish have a distinct issue with child molestation they have distinct issue with drug traveling drug trafficking and human trafficking we will eventually do an entire exposure of the amish community that is my goal yeah is to do a big series on the amish community because it is from because the men and nights it's another example of a religion that's taking it way too far back and I know a lot of people that are men and nights that got out and love to hear from uside stories LPL the gmail.com because it is fascinating things like what we were learning about Jehovah's Witnesses where they're actually I'm gonna say this in a gent maybe generally it doesn't matter I don't think they listen they're way more evil than we thought they were yeah Jehovah's Witnesses are way more evil on the inside I thought they were just stupid but it's evil the art well because another example of like just like the Mormons where they have that layer of ambition slash they think they're better than everybody else so the Jehovah's Witnesses also have an entire end game for our civilization that doesn't include us just like the Mormons yeah so it is it is fascinating Did you see the, um, arrest, uh, the, the body cam footage of this guy getting arrested? No, what did they do? Did he not yell at the camera? I thought they, 'cause you know, I'm as people that are not supposed to get their pictures taken because it means their souls get taken. Well, he, his family was blurred, but they were a part of, they were a part of it. The cops showed up and he's like, "You'll take that demon, uh, you'll take that demon device away from my face, English." Sir, you admitted to me personally that you had sex with these dogs. That's my dog. That's my dog. It was bleeding. It was bleeding from its choochie hole. I was giving it a baby. I thought it was me, wife. Do you think that they fucked the dogs because they thought that it would be better than fucking just women that they would be cheating? I don't understand why anyone would want to have sex with a dog. That's good, Eddie. I just don't get it. I'm really glad. You know, like, I'm glad, yeah, if you even thought for a second that it would make sense, I have to, we'd have to fire you. What about a dolphin? No, nothing that doesn't have human genitalia. Okay, I thought you were going to say ears. No? Because human can lose its ears and they're still fuckable. You're right, you're right. You're totally viable. Yeah, yeah. Human can lose pretty much most of its parts except for the holes that still be viable. You can still be, in terms of like, have some sex appeal. Yeah. Like, there are people in women here. This might get me off of no attention. That have no arms and no legs. That's still probably you'd consider like, hot. Yeah. Why not? Here's these Susan Torell. I have no idea that it is. She was in flesh and blood. They were covering for our movie stories. Yeah. And Susan Torell that plays, she's Jackie in flesh and blood. Yes. Okay. She's my sister in flesh and blood. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, he, he, he, he sourced prostitute that is filled with child. She's great. She's great. Susan Torell. Yeah. Uh, she lost her legs. Really? Not, not after this movie. Yeah. Not on accident. She lost her legs by disease. Oh. They had to chop her legs off. Well, that's still kind of an accident, but that's not on purpose. But she was still pretty attractive from just the nubs up. Of course. Why wouldn't she be so has been a beautiful woman? I'm saying it's possible like in that way. Yeah. I think that's great. This is a whole new chapter for you. I'm not, it is not a new chapter. Is that a new chapter of my life? I'm just saying that facts are. Mm-hmm. That's what I was trying to get back. That's why people shouldn't have sex with dogs. Yeah. Now they're just saying have sex with the person with new arms, no legs is just, is better. Can I ask a difficult question? Great. Now these dogs that were molested by this man, eventually they're going to have to be adopted. They do. Yeah. Would you adopt a sexually abused dog? What do you think? Do you think that it's going to be like in poison ivy? Or it's just going to be all fucking traumatized. I was going to seduce the family. It's definitely going to be traumatized. There's no question about that. Here's actually, this is a big deal amongst the community. What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, adopt the dogs, I would absolutely adopt the dogs. Do all, do all these dogs go to the same person? Like is there like an abused home for dogs that are abused sexually? Side stories, LPO to yellowgmail.com. Unfortunately, I just, it's a question that popped in my head. As someone who fosters dogs. I believe. I imagine they wouldn't tell me. Do you believe that? I don't think it's on the foster to necessarily tell me that someone molested that dog. I, under your business. I think it's none of my business. But it could be because the dog might have traumatized behavior because of it. So that's the only thing you might have to deal with helping to fix a dog's traumatized behavior. They all have traumatized behavior. All my dogs. Every dog I've had is got deep trauma. Ernie's got deep trauma. My dogs are aggressive. Yeah. They don't have trauma. My dogs are sweet, but they got trauma. See, my dogs don't have trauma. They just know they're better than other dogs. Yeah. I know someone did something bad to Ernie. I think someone threw Ernie. You're doing what my mom does about my dad. Yeah. Do you know how many times I had a deal with him vacation? My mom saying stuff like, you think your father was gay? Why didn't ask you? I told you. Do you think your father was molested? That's why he was sexually frozen. I was like, mom, blow my brains out. Okay. If we talk about this one more time, I'm going to fucking commit suicide on vacation. It's like, I'm just saying it was just, he lost interest in sex. It's like, I don't, I'm going to fucking throw you. I'm going to throw myself off a cloth. So I don't know. But it's not like she's, again, there was nothing to do about that because of my father. If she was a cigarette, you probably would have loved her. He really would have loved her because then she'd be gone in four seconds. But this is, that's why a lot of uncomfortable questions we've just raised. Side stories, LPLG and all the comp. I'm leaving that to you. Yeah, let us know. Because you know, I know you're going to be upset. Everyone's going to be upset. I'm upset. Eddie's upset. Yeah. I'm not. I just want you to know that this is, you know, that we're really discovering it because we're making fun of the way that guy looked. And we really entered into a bunch of different discussions. And I think that this next story is also a great example about why we had, why we even do this show. Is this a nice one or a sad one? What do you mean? So this one is what, what do you mean? This is a, I think it's a really funny story. Okay, let's do it. And I think it's going to bring up interesting conversation. All right. So an MMA fighter. They are a person by the name of this, this, this young man. Uh, I believe his name is Cole Johnson, Cole, Cole Johnson. Yeah. He's one of no. He's a new fighter. He's a new fighter. They've been putting up this thing. Apparently, they've been putting up 500 grand, possibly, for him to fight a champ. Yeah. Now, there's a lot of people. Obviously, you're going to disagree with this. So, uh, first of all, the guy saying it was supposed to happen on September 11, which, to be honest, is such a missed opportunity. And I'm, I'm angry that it didn't happen on September 11. I feel like the fact that it didn't happen on September 11, that shouldn't happen. Yeah. And then it should only happen on September 11. Because this is my view. If we are currently in a world where the White House lawn can have a UFC match just like bulldozed into it. Yeah. I think this man can fight a champ for 500 grand. And I think the reason why that is is because I think that we have all, we've passed the rubric on now. I think we're on the other side to another part of the American experience. And I think that there's a way to find out if the champ consented. Yeah. I think there's a way to find a champ that wants to fight humans. That obviously wants to fight. We know that there's aggressive champs, right? We know that they turn aggressive at a certain age, right? They're not supposed to be around people at a certain age. Coles already asked for certain factors like, can the entire ring be surrounded by people with tranquilized darts to save his life, right? But, you know, I feel like the champ is life from the champ. I feel like if you're going to do that, they should also shoot him if he's winning. I agree. So I'm with you. I'm with you. There's no way he's going to win. If there's darts for the champ, there should be darts for the man. We are paying money to watch a champ rip a man distress. Yes. That's what this is about. So he's not going to beat the champ. There's no way he's going to beat the champ. So basically, Cole was in an interview where he said that he could fight a champ and he really believed that he could beat a chimpanzee. He's jacked. He's really big. I'm not going to say he's not huge. Yeah, of course. He doesn't have a chance against a chimpanzee. Here's what I probably should have talked about this a little bit beforehand. He's come out and said the whole thing was a publicity. Yeah, sure. Of course. Yeah. But I'm we're past this. Yeah. No, no, no. Now I want to book this because I think that we, I feel that if this is a thing we're, we as a country can demand this now because of where we're at. We can say that that chimp is allowed to rip that man to shreds and we can all buy tickets to watch it do that. And I think that that's okay. And I think, but the chimp does need to consent and the chimp does need to know it's going in there to fight the other man. And I think that there's a way to communicate it to the chip. You think so? And I think that there's a way I get I might be wrong. I think the only way that you could fight a chimp and it be okay is if it's a wild one. That's or it's you have to go there. No ring. You go into the jungle and you find that's unfair. No, that's to me. That's the only way it should be allowed. Can a chimp be trained to fight? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. But you're not going to train chimp but train a chimp. Now you're talking about the plot of the first. The plot of the apes. I don't think it's wrong. Give them a shot. We have yet to train them. Yeah. I know that we made up guns, right? We made up guns and we figured out how to use them ourselves. But should we not now train apes and chimp to use guns? And to train them to fight because we could give them that back. We should give them that back. They're coming straight for you. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, you're not going to teach them out of fight. No, I'm not going to be anywhere near them. You know, that's not where I'm going. Until they start spread. And then we start getting dumber and then they take us over five generations from now. Don't they rip your nuts off first? That's the same. Anything that's hanging. Yeah, they're going to rip your face off. They go for the nose, the eyes, the ears, your hands, your fingers, your toes. Yeah, they try to but you know the thing is he would probably put a helmet on the chip to try to like keep it from biting. But here's the thing, Cole Johnson has come out and said that this was never going to happen and he's redirected all of his fans that were going to buy tickets to this to support the Django it all foundation. Honestly, I get Eddie. I think that's truly wonderful. I still think we can do the fight and give all the money to charity. Yeah. I mean, obviously do the fight and give all the money to cherish. You're going to do the fight. You got to put it back in the chimpanzees. I know I'm going to get a lot of flack on this. I'm just saying of all the things I think that we should know I'm fighting for the chimp. Yeah. Give the chimp the opportunity to kill a human with impunity. Give it the opportunity to do it. But then it's going to get a taste for blood. Yes. And then it's going to kill again. Yeah. That's the problem. No, because the thing is other MMA guys are then we'll continue to challenge him. It won't be other MMA guys. It'll be his keeper. Well, maybe he'll be Baron Trump. You never know how funny with that. Oh my God. If that's how he goes out, that be so much fun. It would more likely be one of the other brothers who go and poach all the time. They're going to die of a drug overdosa any day now. I hope so. So let us go to another story. We'll see how this goes. We'll see how this plays out. There's one. There's a story that I'm not really against. I don't want people to just hurt random chimps. I'm saying I want a chimp that can consent. Yeah. You just know that the chimp doesn't have a chance to get hurt. Yeah. Of course. No. The chimp is going to win. Yeah. The chimp doesn't. Yeah. It can't get hurt. Yeah. You can get caught on a couple of times in the head. It might. Yeah. It might get me if this fight did happen, which is not. I imagine he the chip would be sitting there. The guy would punch it once and then he would just get ripped to shred. Yeah. That would be awesome. Yeah. Until we see it. And then it would just be horrifying. I guess it's like when you rent faces a death, you know, and then you're like, oh, I can't wait to get home and watch this. So then you put it in the VHS player. You're like, Oh, dude, I just bought the 4k of faces of death. Yeah. How old are you? Yeah. You bought the original. Yeah. 4k made it into 4k. Yeah. It was like VHS is back in the day. Yeah, dude. They can't make that into 4k. Yeah, dude. It was fucking awesome. I think I did it. I forgot who did it. It was a not terror vision. It might have been Severin. It might have been Severin films. It was great. Really? Yeah. Crazy. I just like having stuff now. Yeah. You just what you know, you're you have a collection. Yeah. At this point. It's vinegar syndrome. Oh, okay. They're great. Vinegar syndrome. Go check them out. You accidentally buy the new shitty movie. Did you know I made it through about halfway the new shitty movie. I watch half of it. Yeah. Yeah. It was not good. It was awful. It seemed, but also it was one of those with the new when it was that movie just, you know, it got I went into slasher world and I'm not big into slasers unless it's Halloween. And we'll talk all about that. Yeah. Live from North. There was another story that came out on September 11th. That is to me. I like the story. I think this is a no one gets hurt type of story. Oh nice. So I, but it's interesting. There is a drug dealer in Minnesota. He got recently got caught. His name is Andy Celensia. He was 27 years old. He got caught dealing mushrooms and weed lots of like things like he was doing weight. Yeah. But he had a he started. He was he's young. He started out his new new drug dealer on the block. But he had a customer a customer loyalty card. So this is objectively funny. Which is an idea that I had when I was selling weed. This is an idea. Obviously I never fall through with it. And I didn't follow through with it. Not because I was scared of the cop because I, you know, I just didn't do it. No, no, this is the issue. And I'm going to say this to all of our drug dealers above the born and not is that it's awesome. I think it's really amazing. The problem with doing it is that if you're in an illegal place, it puts it in writing. Mm hmm. In a second. That's why it's like what you do with this. This is my advice to drug dealers. Do this program because it's really fun. Yeah. Name the card something else. Oh, yeah. Name it sandwich for your own sandwiches. Flower shop. Even just like what he did. I think that's what he did. No, it's his daddy's point. It's like it literally is weed. It's deflower daddy with him holding all these, and it's AI things with him. Old and weed plants in a mushroom. And a fucking mushroom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is very silly and fun. I don't like that it's AI. No, what? I mean, what do we expect? I don't know. Here's what I think about this guy. I think this is a hiccup in a man who's going to make millions of dollars in his life. I completely agree. I think that he's got a great future. That is an American true America. I think that he had a he had a good idea that turned out to be a horrible idea. I completely agree with you. And I think that he's on. I think he's going to there's a hiccup. He's going to serve his time. He's going to get in a little bit of trouble. Also, don't like that his bail is more than the high school principal. Well, that's like an exact. I don't enjoy that. It is an exact example of where we consider certain crimes in this country, which is hilarious. That your people are still being busted for fucking selling weed just because he didn't give the government their fucking vague. Yeah. Yeah. It's more tax advation than they're like mad at all. That's all it ever is. And it's but hurt that the war on drugs is over. Yeah. So Andy Celensia, I think, you know, don't worry about this. You're going to be fine. You can do a little time. Nothing crazy. You're going to get out. When you're in there, brainstorm. Apply these ideas businesses. All right. Do some reading. Do some research. I can see you making a fuck ton of money. You got good ideas. See a gap. Yeah. See a gap. Fill a gap. Right? Like one thing I was thinking about, it's a place that is stools for women with BBLs. Oh, I mean, you can do as a little stool park for women with big asses, right? Or something like that. I mean, it's just a spitball where you're going to put it. I doubt on that. No, don't do it in a verb. Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. Honestly, though, if police want to catch him, we're opening big butt park. Oh, you're doing a big, big butt park, big butt park. And we all go and we set it all up with fake bucks. And then we fill them in the air. And then we hit them with a net. Oh my God. I'm going to put a dress on holding and a fake butt on them and just have them walk through. I just heard from Bob. Oh, wow. Oh, I go for a little bit. There's a bit of a rubble in my tummy. Aren't you staying some fresh greens from the super bottom from Bob's and a bunch of fresh tomatoes. I bought them from the bad store. I bought them from the place. It's eBT. I went. I got all the stuff. I'm feeling super good. That'd be great. Have you ever been to buddy burgers in Austin? No. Do you know what the special sauce is? No, it's come. Oh, yes. He's got arrested for putting calm on the burgers. Isn't it? Yeah. You know, I go always feel like that's a breach of trust that I won't ever get back. Yeah. The idea of like working my burger. No, man, I just I couldn't help, but like the cook and me, like the chef and me can't help but feel really bad for buddy's burgers. Yeah. That thing. They got fucked because they no one's ever. I'm never going to eat there. No, never in a thousand years. Never in a thousand years when I eat there. And they like they obviously they hired this guy. They didn't cross their teeth and dot their eyes. How do they? Well, how do they do that? How do you make sure the guys are going to come on the fucking burgers? I bet he has a record and they probably didn't look for it. Like a speed record for coming on burgers. If he had never come on anything he's got a clop before, then it's okay. But, but yeah, no, they're fucked. I don't think he did, Eddie. Yeah. Why is this dick out in this? Yeah, he's dick out a couple times. He's taking dicks. He's he came on alopeños. He showed his dick to people he worked with. He started posting it all over Reddit. That's a big issue there. Yeah. And in terms of you're trying to cover up your crimes, because it's a pretty large social media website. Yeah. And buddy burger, they're doing their best to put this down, but it's not going anywhere. Yeah. No, they, they even, they're responding to the, to the Reddit, because you know what's going there to now work. Commer's people who come on burgers. Oh, they're going to be, it's going to be hard for them. Well, now they just go stealth. They're going to have to go to torches tacos. He always was stealth. But yeah, torches tacos. Yeah, they're on their way to torches tacos. I don't like torches. So, um, buddy's burger. I'll never eat there now. Well, torches are buddy burgers, buddy's burger. Yeah, yeah, there's so many good places to eat in Austin. These guys are fucked. They need to change the name. That's the only chance they got. Also not even burgers in Austin. Yeah, no, there's no reason to. The fusion Asian food. Yeah. That was so good. That was one of the best fucking things I've ever had. I wish I remember what it was called. It was like Asian 66 or something. Yeah. Fucking that place. It was right. It was one of the better Thai restaurants. I remember this be fucking every day. Don't play. Yeah, but buddy burger. Their response in the Reddit thread was thank you for your assistance and making us aware of this. We are actively working with the police to ensure this individual is held accountable for his actions. This individual was a new hire who was terminated mid shift from buddy burger on September 1, 2026 when an employee complaint of indecent exposure was filed and addressed immediately. People were the eight of those burgers. Yeah. Here's the thing. How many people ate come burgers? That doesn't. You think so? Oh, yeah, because you can only come so much. Yeah. I think that probably about a dozen people ate burgers with come on them. Yeah. And like, there's no way to find out. No, nope. Absolutely not, because they probably, I mean, who knows? Unless you're somebody who eats a lot of calm, you might not know. No, I know, but there's no way to find out like right. I'm not saying that seriously, especially if you pay cash. They're not going to be able to find out who who's who ate these come burgers. That's a big thing. This is about that coin. - This is bigger than this, huh? This is about the blockchain. This is about a non-niminity, non-niminity, right? That's the problem, right? They want to know who's doing it. - It's the cocktail. - It's the cocktail. - Unless you, 'cause I've never consumed to Dracula, so I don't know, I don't know the taste of a Dracula. I can assume I bet you would know the moment you had it. I mean, I know it if I saw it, if I saw it slide like, you know, flying through the air. - I smell it a bunch. - Yeah, that's different. - It helps though. - But if you mix it in with the sauce, the donkey sauce, or the buddy sauce, whatever it is, which already sounds like come. - Yeah, buddy. - Saying that it sounds like come. - Buddy sauce sounds like what you make when you go on a fishing trip with your old friend that you haven't seen in 20 years. - And you don't let your wife come. - Yeah, poor buddy. - Making some buddy sauce. - They don't know what to do. They're swinging, they're just like, they're-- - No, they're screwed. - Yeah, they're fucked. - They should close down and remake it into another name. - Yeah, they should literally just close the restaurant for a fucking week, make it a new sign, put a new sign on, and just try to start a new. - Yes, oh my God, is this one of the Cumburgers? - No, just a big sloppy burger. - There's another burger from there, but it does look like a burger. - It does look like a man, something or something. - This does look like a Cumburgers. - Well, it's just got me, it's got Cumburgers on it. - It looks like it's got Cumburgers. - It just looks like a burger. - You would never know. - Look at that. - You would never know, man. If we weren't talking about Cumb on hamburgers, I would go like, mm, if I saw that, I'd be like, yum. But now that we know, that's the problem at me, as the exact fuck a problem, is that now that I know that there was Cumbon 1, I'll never be able to eat it again. Because my first thought, it was like, mm. 'Cause I love mayonnaise. - Oh my God, now the one star reviews are piling in. - Yeah, they're coming out. - Oh yeah. - That's how it is. - As soon as they hate you for one thing, they're excited to jump on, to hate you for everything else. - It seems like people liked Buddy Burger before this incident, too. - Yeah, that's the worst. - They were like doing okay. - Yeah, they're fucked, man. - I wonder if he was from McDonald's. - Oh yeah, oh, just like Buddy Burger's getting too big. - Sent 'em in. - Yeah, you always, all I need you to do is spend a year too in college, my friend. (laughing) You'll be here waiting for you on the other side. - Like in Goodfellets. (laughing) - Then Ronald McDonald picks 'em up from jail. - Oh man, that's a good kid. That's a good fucking kid that she was there. That's nice with you then, huh? Hey, don't worry, we'll take care of you. - Oh my God. - Go away, you sure? Hey, let me know guess. - Here's one. - You can jerk it off in jail. (laughing) I don't like these. - This is on the Reddit. WTFU, I was in Buddy's last weekend. I was there on Sunday's the 30th, Buddy's fired 'em on the first. I know I ate cock! - Yep. Or maybe, or you just ate some ball hair. - Oh man. - Did I bet you he couldn't come a lot? - No. - Unless he saved it. - Oh no. (laughing) Buddy Burgers put up a post recently with a new restaurant coming soon. - Oh no. - Guys, we're on change. - What are you doing, guys? - Opening soon. - Opening soon, you got to change the purpose. - Opening soon. - Open. - Change the purpose, buddy. - Coming before. - Opening now. - Oh, he also worked on an HEB grocery store. Disgusting. - This isn't good. - You know, a lot of people fronage and do weird things at the grocery store. We've covered that over the years. I think there's a freedom inside of a grocery store for certain behaviors because there's the trust. - Yeah. - And you should wash your vegetables when you get home. - You're right. (laughing) If this teaches you anything, wash your vegetable. - Wash your cheeseburger. Wash your ribs. If you get a bunch of ribs, give them a good wash before you can talk into that. - Dim sum, just 'cause of what a rhyme's with. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Rim come. - Yeah, or dim come. Yeah. - It's been great. - Dim sum the other day. - Yeah. - It was fine. - I love dim sum. - You know, I wish it was better. - The, all right. So we have a lady. - We ain't even fucking way. (laughing) - So angry. - No, the stuff I had, there's been good stuff. - Yeah, of course the stuff you had was bad. - You got to say that this goes good. This Florida woman allegedly threw a bucket of shit on a neighbor. I mean, what does this even mean? - They shared a trailer and this woman, her bathroom broke. And she thought that her neighbor who that she shared a trailer with, I guess it's like a wall in the trailer. She thought she was fucking her husband. And she had this big bucket of shit because her toilet wasn't working. And she went over to her house and threw the bucket shit on her and it's like, stop fucking my husband. - I think a lady's got a lot more issues to deal with than her husband's in fidelity. - She's mean looking. - She looks like the lady that kills people for the cartels. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's mean looking lady. - That is a lady, that is a mean looking lady who you know has got rancid poops. - Yeah, this happened in Miami. We all know the plumbing down there. Is it the best sometimes? Just because of, you know, it's swamp. - It's hard to get ready to try to get rid of it. You know, is that kind of thing? - Is it? - Oh yeah. - It really is a problem. - Yeah. - With poopus and PPs in Miami. - Some places, if you're in a bad enough area, it starts rising. So I saw his LPLGmail.com was a proof of a problem in Miami. - There are schools that are sinking into the marsh. Like there are places that are sinking into the earth in Miami. - Wow. - Yeah. - I know, we're gonna lose it. When we lose Miami is when we're finally gonna do some weird things about the climate. - Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna say shit when New Orleans goes. - No, 'cause they're all like, yeah, we saw how much they didn't care during Katrina. - Nope. - And then so, like, and so, but yeah, New Orleans is gonna be first. That's gonna be Miami or Charleston. - If Charleston goes, I bet people flip out more. - Unfortunately. - That's horrible. - Yeah. Charleston can go. - Charleston can go. - Not New Orleans. - I was, oh, New Orleans is a wonderful place. I don't enjoy Charleston. Well, the last time I was in Charleston, we were driving and then the water, the ocean came in like three blocks. - Yeah, it did. - And then we were driving, I'm like, oh my God, what's this like? Oh, it's the ocean. They were all casual about it. And I'm like, what do you mean? They're like, yeah, the moon's out. I was like, what do you mean? What are you talking about? - Moon's always out. Moon's always out. - It doesn't go away. - Yeah, the moon's out. So the ocean comes into our city. - You're just saying stuff. - Yeah. - That's the person just saying stuff. That person has a level of, maybe I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like they have a sort of ancient view of the powers of the moon. - Yeah. Well, this is bad, Eddie. - Yeah, well, she's on trouble, she's in jail too. There's another guy right down the street from her in Durral. This is an interesting story. He was arrested in a hotel room for hiding under someone's bed the entire night. - See, this is interesting because it sounds like he was sneaking. It sounds like he was in Assassin's Creed. - It sounds like he didn't do anything to these people. - No, he was just sleepin', and he did break, he did break an entery. He was kicked off the property earlier in the week. The guy came back, got kicked off again, and then came back, snuckin' through the back door, went under the bed. These people checked into their room, slept the entire night with this guy below them. - So this is, okay, I'm gonna say, again, this is another controversial statement. I'm gonna make on today's episode that we will have reverberations of for years. - Okay. - My view here is because he didn't rape and murder them. He was just sleeping, which means he was just trying to find a place to sleep, maybe hiding from somebody, or maybe just literally looking for a place to sleep. - Yeah. - The fact that he didn't touch them, or their things, while he was asleep, or while they were asleep. To me shows, the man was just trying to sleep. He is charged with burglary, but that's-- - Yeah, as he should, 'cause he's still breaking and entering, I guess. - But that's not burglary. Unless he did steal stuff from them, we don't know. He could've stole some stuff. - They didn't say that he didn't mess up. - But even just the fact that he didn't be caught, this is how damaged this show has made me. The fact that he didn't suck on their feet, the fact that he didn't jerk off on the blankets, the fact that he didn't fucking, just stab him to death while they were sleeping, the fact that he didn't hold like with a woman at ninth point while he was rapin' the father, like, there's so many things he could've done. And he didn't. And to me, that shows restraint. - I think this is like a person who obviously is suffering from deep mental health issues and has no money. And, but also, thankfully, has enough impulse control to not do something so fucked up. - He just wanted to sleep. - He just was trying to sleep. But also, this is one of those fun things that, like, what I love, is like, you know how many times you're like in a hotel with your loved one or with your wife, and she'll say something, like, I don't know how you deal with this, like, sometimes, like, something, like, you think something's scary is happening, but then you as, like, the guy in the scenario, in our scenario, in our cis-hat scenarios, we're very much like, don't worry. I'm certain everything's fine. And then, like, we just stay scared, and we let them go to sleep nice. So, I could see this style of things. - See, I just get up and look really fast. - That's what I do. - I always, I'd assume that if someone's there, they'll just kill me because I'm defenseless. - Yeah, exactly. So, I assume that the wife, at some point, was like, do you think that there's somebody sleeping in the bed? And then, they looked under the bed and there was so in there. - Do you see, well, I would go, but that's easy. Husband, you know, you do though. Unfortunately, you have to fight them. - No, well, no. The first thing you do is deny and say, - No, you're wrong, baby. - Don't worry, everything's okay. We're just trying to go to sleep. - Why don't you go get a soda, you know? - And then you're like, hey, buddy, come on, get out of here. - Come on, get the fuck out of here. - Just scare 'em all right. - Just get out of here. - It's scary, but I feel like if you looked at, but then you look under the bed, but you never really look under the bed, because if you were to look under the bed, Eddie, guess what you'd see? - The monster. - Yeah, the monster. - In this case, there was one. - Yes, yeah. - But that's got to, and now we, where maybe things could have went south. But because everybody wants to sleep, everything was fine. - And I will say, not violent. - Not violent. - He's not violent. - And that's my only thing that's a saving grace for him. - Yes. - Is the fact that he's non-violent. I don't know if he's been prosecuted for the crime. It seems like he might have he has a he definitely has a record. Yes. So he didn't murder these people and to me That's a good sign. Yeah, improvement. I didn't prove men. Yeah, it's just crashing. That's all He's just sleeping. He's just dreaming. You know, no one's under the bed They didn't need under the bed. Okay. Now I want to do a quick recap of today We got the guy who we got we got the the old man who got who is to you can't stand trial All right, we eyeballs are too far apart for him to be competent enough to do crimes That's right and then we got the the guy the the Confederate general who school principal who's looking at little girls Yeah, funny beard funny a little mustache and then we got the guy who's breeding and fucking dogs the Amish guy no mustache Funny beard. Yeah, we have the we have the guy who is a wants to fight a chimpanzee Cleanshaving who actually turned out to be not too horrible not even that horrible And then we had then we had the next guy after that we had the drug dealer with the card Yep, then we had the lady who threw shit at people and then we had the comberger boy and then the guy sleeping under the bed Who's your least favorite person comberger boy comberger boys a worst person right? Comberger boys. He's worse than a dogfucker Yeah, and the old man. I mean, we don't know what his crimes are the old man could have old school like deep-seated crimes Yeah, he killed somebody in Korea. Yeah, no, he the old man's probably the worst human But he's you don't know he's a ghost. Okay, yeah, I think comberger boy only just because that is a sacred Trust one has with their fast food restaurant. Yeah, did you want hurt me in this? That you said that it won't become on this you know the Confederate general video taping the girls P.D. Holes him the most but I don't but I think the worst crime is the comberger in real life He's the world's worst guy Of course we get like butt sniffers already kind of in to another level. He's been good for us in real life He's been great for us. We know we know we we print money on the Burbank butt sniffing that's fucking huge for us The Confederate general high school principal is the worst person the comberger guy is the worst crime. Yes Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah for me and so that makes him the worst person who deserves a worst beaten You know, I think that you could very ostensibly give a whale hard core on both The thing is is that the Confederate general guy is gonna just get worse I do feel like you could beat this behavior out of comberger boy. Yes. I feel like you could beat the behavior out of him But that would require like taking him just to the brink of death. Yeah And it would require a pointed series of lessons to put a tube in them and shit. Yeah That's a big pulvera hoven thing too, you notice, right? Well tubing put in tubes of a guy's butts It is isn't it like three movies. Yeah, he likes things like that Check out movie stories. Check out movie stories. It's over on patreon We're covering pulvera hoven films. Do we have any new listener mail or we keep in the old Collective soul one because people seem I love that butt rock. I got another one. Let's keep it We got so many. I feel bad if we don't play some of these I want you to randomly bring the collective soul one back one Sure, yeah, put it on a cycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep that one don't they go and get rid of that It keep that reggae one too because I want to hear that again eventually. We can make a little album for you It has to go on a cycle All right, here's a new one. Yeah, this one is from Colt Berkett Let's play it here we go Listen Thank you fellows god, I love the rock ones. Yeah, well, they mean it. I love the rock ones Those are our people. I think you know what a good idea would be we take all of these listener email tracks Fucking make an album on Spotify. We were talking about this. How do we do that? I don't know I don't know we do that without just stealing money from people I guess the problem with it. No one makes fucking money But any money should go to the people who wrote the song so I have to source all the people who wrote the song This is what I've learned that's hard about that is that I have to then find all of their information each one of them That's a crazy account in which we can then link all of their bank accounts because the only way I'm doing this would I would do it fully legit They're not taking money from people whatever we thought there's a sense on the doll whatever money we make we put towards Some kind of great cause I said great. Oh, we would we would need in writing agreement from the people that wrote the stingers that they're totally down for the proceeds They go to do to all go to charity and absolutely I will do that if you have heard your singer on the show right in and let us know Mm-hmm. How about that love that? Yeah, this is something that'll happen never Who knows? But who fucking knows we make shit all time we got one here. We got who fucking people love these things in so do I yep? Let's hear some It's just a bullshit now. I want to get into a little bit about scroats So I broke I brought up the concept of the little little scumbags These little fuckers yeah, right my wife and I and Natalie and I were harassed in the They're really funny and but I brought it up and it is a big fucking deal It's a big deal over in Dublin and seems to be a lot of the people and well a lot of the emails I got was talking about how There's like economic issues and the major major city centers a lot of these are kids from people that are obviously like you know Like kind of what we were talking about how of course their parents are on drugs and now they're obsessed with it You know now they go out there and they take their pain out on people and Largely they just rough people up yell things and run away. They are children the Guardian the the Irish police They really don't want anything to do with it. No, and so I got a lot of good information Quite a group of kids no one wants to because it sucks But this is it is interesting so Let me recap these letters. I hope you enjoyed Ireland Henry Sorry, I knew this traded you out of one of the local customs say anything mean they can think of of your dire If it isn't a sports jersey and work pants or match and track suit, it is in fact illegal Scrooge sort of city thing and your bartender was in line Now violence right now is targeting immigrants a lot of it is stirred up online And if you're a call Twitter, I will dead name it all right until Vivian musk and herds her father's fortune exactly Right exposed all the origin countries of its users briefly there the accounts for Irish far-right groups We're all based in America and England where I am in Ireland county laid from People would probably talk about their tire, but they'd have a pint with you still and the teens are so non-scrooge You then when I asked my boss if the ules ever getting a fist fights at lunch will wait for us to make them food You could not comprehend what I was asking I am from Halifax in Canada or our teens fought in our library every damn day Right now some fun things to yell at Scrooge Your mom's your dad and your dad sells even Get the fuck Yeah, or if you must fight you can open with That's a funny way to spend your teeth I live in Marina now my only permanent neighbor is obviously a former Scrooge and they do not grow out of it He won't tell my dog he was gonna beat the bricks offer for following him in the night He didn't mean it. It's just a Scrooge So that's the thing so they talk about the Scrooge And they say that basically everyone said the same thing you literally just don't say anything to them You just move forward, right? Yeah, a lot of keep following you and throwing bricks and shit. No, if you could really just go through I think it was really funny that they all talk about having one comb one thing with their another turn that they're called yep bros Okay, yep bros because they go yep At each other yep, oh wow, it is literally just what they do and they hear that we visited Kong This is a part of the Warriors. It is we also visited Kron Kong Did someone brought up and just want to know why in the living fuck are they obsessed with the movie the quiet man My mother the the John Wayne film so we were only Oscar dude. I just so my mom out of nowhere Starts no idea about the quote never heard of the movie the quiet man. You never heard of it. No, why would I? I don't care Yeah, right? I don't know where my mom's like Do you think that this is where the quiet man was made? It's like what are you talking about she was like the quiet man is John Wayne's best movie? Everyone loves it if he and I was just like I have no idea Next thing we know we're in Kong which is where the quiet man was filmed and My mom is going to all of these places like it's where the godfather was feeling like she's next to tears Feeling this is the ball. But John Wayne came out of the ball. I was just like this is the weirdest the whole town is obsessed with the quiet man I mean it's great your mom got to see it's just and I know it's just very funny that it's an entire town based off This like one movie you know imagine if you went to the town where like Nightmare No Street 4 was filmed with your mother And you were so excited everywhere you went like this the town square, you know, it's the same thing. It's true Yeah, cuz you're one little more question Someone's saying here's that we should send the Scroats to alligator Auschwitz. Oh Alligator Alcatraz. Well, it's close now. So there's no where to send him. Oh Nelson got out Kurt Kurt's nephew he's back home with his wife. No fucking way. It's almost like you didn't commit any crimes It's like you shouldn't have been there in the fucking first place, but that's amazing. Yeah shout out to Nelson something Kurt and everyone involved. - So yeah, so just know, go out there. This, someone here wants to give a shout out to the park ranger that went after Eugene Horsh. - Okay. - Just listen, we covered the potential crimes of RC Horsh. And we're gonna probably do an entire episode on this. - I mean, you have to. - So we're not crazy. - That's just available a little more. - But I did think it was interesting, someone call out like the National Park Services. I just wanna, you know, I listened to the side stories app where you talked about Eugene Horsh. Not much to contribute, other than I am a National Park Service Ranger, stationed at Independence NHP. I know the ranger who went after him initially. His name is Keith Manchester and he actually got her pretty bad and he's been off duty for a while. So I know it doesn't mean much. Just want Keith to get credit for being a great guy and a great ranger. - That's pretty true. - 'Cause he went completely out of his way to make sure that something was done. - Hell yeah, that's amazing. - Well, these are the stories I'm just gonna keep for now. This is what I'm gonna do and we got other stories I'll get into it next week. - All right. - That's it. - I'll just live every day, every day, knowing for a fact that if you're an island, you wanna keep your head up. All right, so if you're gonna walk around with a pretty lady, you might love the fact that you get the attention of a bunch of little boys. - Yeah. - Right, and you just gotta laugh at 'em. 'Cause y'all, they might be mad. They might be mad that you got a, a cute little lady on your hands and you're wearing a bit of a pink shirt. All right, they might be saying things about you. Maybe you gotta remember, right? You're the man. Right there to the boy. (laughing) Come see us this weekend in Norfolk. I can't wait to see you. We'll find you. - Coming down to Norfolk Way. - Sanger Scrooze. - Sanger Scrooze. I don't actually know. Sanger, someone someone who can legally buy a bear. Friday, Norfolk. Saturday, Raleigh, North Carolina, the Martin Marietta Center. We're gonna have a lot of fun. We got a lot of shows coming up down the pipe. Brooklyn, Hartford, Redway, Portland, Burlington, Iowa City, Columbia, Missouri. Me personally, I'm gonna be in Milwaukee with Logan Metz on September 27th. - No, that's gonna be an entertaining evening. - It's gonna be nice. October 4th, my first show at the comedy work, sold out. We got a second show booked. So go and get tickets to the second show. That's gonna be a fucking blast. That's my birthday show. Come fucking party with me. And then in LA on October 14th on a Wednesday at the straight theater is Slambers Comedy Bash. I'm gonna be hosting it. We're having a lot of fun. Let's create your holster for Amber. Give her some time to work out some material. That's right. She's gonna close out that fucker. And then San Francisco, St. Louis, Nashville, Rochester, Albany. Go to any tunes that come for tickets. Go check 'em out. We'll see you over on, can you see on Netflix? I see any patreon. Certain movie stories are. You see, we're over there on Patreon. Well, let's go to check out a new YouTube channels. Bloodbath 77 doing very well. Go check it out, up there on YouTube. Overall, to help you on TV. It's on YouTube. That's for YouTube. All right, hope you're seeing your head satin. Hell, Sally Fields. Yeah, wow, yeah. Wow, I'd eat a really masturbate. Yeah, think it about Sally Fields. You ever see the Irish film The Fields? No. Hmm. Yeah, I heard the whole thing as if there's grass on it. That's when you play the ball. (laughing) Bye, everybody.