Side Stories: The Grim Reaper Clause

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Hey Eddie, I'm so excited to finally have you here. It's so nice to finally be a guest on the show. It's been so important. Have you seen how smooth my stool is? Yes, I have, Mr. Kennedy. Yes, how smooth it is. It's like a ribbon. It's like a beautiful ribbon. You brought it in Tupperware. Yeah, that's nice. I think it's important to make sure that we have a, if you have a runny stool, you're going to use that. You're going to put that in your car. Now, why is it black? Oh, that's because he's evil. It's because it's literally just his intestines. It's just his intestinal lining. When I see, I got so many emails about this. People being like, did you see RFK Jr. talked about how orgasmic and non-wipable his stool is? And I'm just like, I am, yes, I'm entertained. Yes, of course. But I just don't think we need it. No, we don't need it. But it is interesting to just see a man just so happily claim that he doesn't wipe. That man needs to. He needs an enema. You remember that from Dracula, dead and loving it? Yes. Yeah, that's what that man needs. Absolutely. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with the absolutely chock full of con-based dookies at Larson. That's right. Actually, not that much dookie because we barely ate. Yep. Yeah. I ate more at this con than any other con we've ever been to. We just got back from Midsummer Scream. What a fucking. Fucking cool, fun place, dude. Oh my God. That was so much fun. We signed a baby. Yes. We full on signed an adult baby. Someone brought a baby. They brought it into the, they slapped it down on the table and it started crying. It had a very cute shirt that they made that said, I wore my concert diaper just to meet last podcast on the left. It was extremely fun. We just, what a wonderful afternoons. Afternoons we spent. We spent. We spent multiple afternoons, three straight nights. Ed gave a lot of money to John Carpenter for a signature. All right, so here's what happened there. Okay, so there were these cool people who did these, they took a horror scores and they put them on vinyl and cassette and CDs and I loved it. I got Basket Case and Brain Damage on CD. I got The Guyver on cassette and I got In the Mouth of Madness on vinyl. I was so happy about it. Yeah, dude, it was awesome. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I got In the Mouth of Madness on vinyl. The John Carpenter, I'm looking at him. He's right there. I'm going to take it over. He's going to sign it. I'll buy something. Oh, yeah. I'll get a comic book and he'll sign, I'll ask him to sign this instead of the comic book. Yes. And so I wait in line for 30 minutes. Because we were trying to be egalitarian about it because right before the whole con started, John Carpenter was sitting there, but he didn't necessarily seem open to engagement. Yes, which is fine. I mean, he's a legend. He's John Carpenter. He's actually one of my favorite directors of all time. Yeah. And I remember there was also, there was a skip the line for us, but I didn't do it. I waited in the line like a normie and I was like, I'm going to do this the right way. And then I get up there and I'm like, oh, I want to get John Carpenter to sign my vinyl. How do I do that? I'm like, oh, you buy his new vinyl, Cathedral, which is actually pretty good. Yeah, it's cool. And then you also got to buy his comic book and then he could sign two things and then he won't take a picture. And I was like, okay, how much is that? And they said $160. And I was like, yeah, half the winning half power, you know, so I'm just like, okay, sure. And then I paid it and I was like, all right, I'm going to give him the sign, my in mouth in a madness. I'll give him the sign, the, uh, his, his graphic novel. And I gave the graphic novel to Rob because Rob works so hard and he does so well and he loves John Carpenter so much. Thank you. And then no problem. I love you too. And I got up there and I got him to sign my thing and I shook his hand and I'm like, Hey, I'm from last podcast. And I left. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And I was like, no, but it's like, we just did a whole series on you. I watched your whole catalog. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be a lot of guys doing that. People do that. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Yeah. And the four of you today. Yeah. We definitely. And then I refused to give him the extra 50 for the picture. You know what? And I think that shows you're strong. Yeah. I had to. And then, you know, but Rob got the picture. Rob got the picture. Rob went and got the picture. But Bill, it was, it was fun to watch Bill Mosley, uh, handle stuff. It was fun to watch the guy that was the original screen. We stood in his line for a moment until we realized that we had to spend like $50, even to look at him. Just to touch him. Yeah. And it's like, you know, I can touch enough spindly men. It is. But I understand that's what it's there for. That's how these people make their nut. Yes, they do. You know, and I think it is good that they are able to like keep making money on projects that they made forever ago. And it's very cool. But man, it is funny how transactional it all is. It really is. And also. It's so bizarre. But the vibe is great. All of the people we met were really, I don't know how to put it. I just feel like horror. The fans are better than other fans. I think 98% of the people I met were awesome. Yes. I think that they are better fans than just normal comic book fans. I think it's fun in there. I think it's a little bit. It's horny. Comic Con. I have no desire to go to Comic Con. Well, I like Comic Cons. We are doing New York Comic Con, but we're going to announce that soon. I'm talking about San Diego. That thing seems too crazy to me. San Diego's a lot. San Diego's a lot. We've been there a lot. But now that we've been. We've been doing Midsommar Scream. It's just so much fucking fun. We saw Bob Gurr, the Imagineer. He is ancient. Impossibly old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was old a decade ago. Yeah, but he would have. Remember, he was friends with Walt Disney, who died in 1967. Yeah, like a man. Like a man does. Chooses to close his eyes and never wake up fucking again. Yeah, he puts cigarettes inside of hot dogs. Yeah, he said, I'll tell Mickey I'll see him in hell. He died. It was amazing. But Bob Gurr, he was out there. I saw Dee Wallace was out there. Who's the guy next to us, Adam? From Rocky Horror? Oh, you're talking about Brad from Rocky Horror. Barry Boswick. Barry Boswick. We were semi-obsessed with watching Barry Boswick handle the ladies. Because the ladies wanted a lot of the way. They wanted to get handled. Yeah, they did. Absolutely. And who was the sound designer I met from Army of Darkness? Alan Holworth. Alan Holworth. Alan Holworth. I got his autograph. That was cool. Wow. What excitement. 40 bucks for the sound designer of Army of Darkness. Put some respect on his name. He's John Carpenter's partner on all of his music. Yes, he was. And nowhere near John Carpenter. They were not allowed to be near each other. I don't know if they talk anymore. No, I doubt it. But Midsommar Scream, if you are on the fence for next year, you got to fuck. You can go. It's growing. It's going to be in Anaheim next year. Yes, it's going to be. We last year, we went. Where the air conditioning is going to work. Oh, my God. That was the thing. Everybody was. We were moist. Yeah, the entire time. I leaked on many fans. Oh, I was just so wet. And then many fans leaked on us as well. Yes, everybody was a wet. It was wet. We were in it. Hey, but you know, I wouldn't have it any other way. It was like mud wrestling everyone who loves you. Which is what we're going to do. Now that Side Stories is going back out on the road. Yes, we have a series of dates that are going to come out. And here is the list. All right. We got 918. That's September 18th. This shit is close. All right. We're doing it. We're putting it together. North Fork, Virginia. Norfolk. Norfolk? Who gives a fuck? We're coming to come get you. It's different. You got to know the city, Eddie. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk. Norfolk, Virginia. Virginia. We're going to be at the Addicts there. And then we're going to be at Raleigh, North Carolina. Raleigh, North Carolina. At the Fletcher Opera House. And we're going to be at Brooklyn. It is Brooklyn. This is somebody else's bit, Eddie. We're doing somebody else's bit now. Yeah, we're going to be at the Warsaw, Brooklyn. I'm so fucking excited for that. I've always wanted to perform at the Warsaw. It's going to be awesome. We're going to eat pierogies. Dude, we're going to Polish place, dude. We're coming back. Dude, it's awesome. And then we're going to be. We're going to be at Hartford, Connecticut at the Webster on October 11th. October 24th, Redway, California at the Mateo Community Center for our yearly fuck sesh. Yeah. And then November 14th, we're going to be in Portland, Maine at the Aura. And then November 15th, Burlington, Vermont, the Higher Ground Ballroom. December 11th, Iowa City at the Englert. Thank God we're going to be in Iowa City in December. And then December 12th, Columbia, Missouri, the Blue Note. The last time I went to Iowa City. The last time I went to Iowa City, I'll always remember. I did the Green and Gravel Comedy Festival. It was January. I had just broken up with my ex. We were, it was the first time I was really single out, out and about, right? And Iowa's where you chose. I did not choose it. Dave Willis chose it for me. Your pretty face is going to hell, decided to do a clip show for a while. There was a second we were trying to go on the road. So me, Dave, Eddie Pepitone, we're trying to figure out ways to kind of like do some live shows together. So one thing that we tried to do was this YPF clip show where we would show some deleted scenes some stuff and we'd like talk and kind of like joke kind of like a talk back so we got booked at the green gravel comedy festival and they were lovely everything was fine and when we arrive in iowa city it's covered in snow it's a you know it's exactly as you imagine january yep and i uh we get there and the guy that's running the festival again very nice man he was like i just want you to know we just wanted to make sure we got to get the house packed tonight because unfortunately bob saget's playing the university right so bob saget that night was already playing uh i think it was iowa state yeah and so anybody that was anybody was at that show of course and so he's like so what we need to do because big old college town he was like so i wanted to put butts in seats so tonight five dollars all you can drink and so we said all these we wanted to set it up so that all these five dollars all you could drink all the beer they could drink and so by the time we hit stage for this quiet very quiet three men in chairs three men kind of talking over clips like we had a couple of bits that we were gonna do the audience was the single drunkest group of human beings i have ever seen in my ever loving life i am talking i didn't even know you can get drunk on beer in iowa they just did not stop drinking it was the craziest thing i've ever seen in my life i mean people were all over each other to the point where wrestling culture yes yes and there were a lot of cauliflower ears and a lot of cauliflower titties and so we're up there the me and dave were trying to begin the show and not having it right audiences just it's it's like we didn't even begin and then all of a sudden eddie couldn't yell at him enough dude it did it's me eddie pepitone could not get attention right that's wild and then they were making everybody like i just saw two people just making out in the front row right like there's like and not because it was a sexy show it's me and dave yeah right and i i love me and dave but when you see me and dave and eddie pepitone you're right you don't first thing you don't do is be like man that's the triple team i've been fucking waiting for you know like it's never that eddie pepitone oh god eddie pepitone and even even now he just had his prostate removed eddie pepitone eddie pepitone's talking about he's glad he can't get hard anymore which is still my eddie not being able to get hard anymore it's one of my favorite things in the world it's a bad time for him yeah go check him out over at eddie pep yeah that's his instagram give him a follow go tell him i sent you but he uh his prostate's hitting the road as well yeah it is separately yeah right now it is in san antonio two in the flappers there so then dave and i realized we couldn't continue to perform so we just started playing night moves on the guitar i mean that's awesome yeah and we sang night moves twice and then we walked off stage that sounds like actually a lot of fun no it was a nightmare because we were in iowa city yeah because then you still got to go home then we're just in iowa city you should have at least went to the bob saget show that bet that was a lot of fun i couldn't get in jam packed absolutely sold out man remember when murder fist used to have those shows over at sound fix that was like it was a it was basically so there was this record store in the back they had a venue in order to get people to come to the comedy show to do free drinks for an hour only well in pbr just know that open bars do not suit and live entertainment no it just doesn't literally every time we were on the show we were also the bouncers yes and we were picking people out like remove i would get off stage and like bear hug people and throw them out the door and then do the next sketch we really learned crazy to be honest it was a great run on it was a great training ground on how to do it it was a great training ground on how to do it it was a great training ground on how to do it it was a great training ground on how to do it it was a great training ground on how to do comedy in new york city it really was four bars like that was like when we learned like how to get people's attention how drunk i'm allowed to get exactly like what's the level what is the level what is what what is oh man we were that was really important those were important times for us they really were but now they are over sound fix rip um yeah i think it's um city rip iowa city yeah it's done it is done god knows what happens there but iowa city honestly tell us where we should go yeah no is there a christmas market it's gonna be december we can get ornaments together henry oh i can't wait eddie oh god i can't wait we've already done that yeah we did it in columbus it was a lot of fun yeah so i'll do it again yeah no henry and i buying nutcrackers you listen to the show you've heard that fuck you now we just go to severin dvd and buy all kinds of movies that are awful god the dude we went to severin films go check them out it was just like a threads on 4k they have every movie that should not be put on blu-ray or 4k dude we got baskin in 4k dude i got this movie called the siege i'm so excited to see it the dude over there i forget his name was it stefan steven i don't know sean actually don't i don't remember but we love him i do love him he was great i love him handlebar mustache loved him i was again if you're selling yeah yeah near pornographic 4ks at midsummer scream handlebar mustache yeah that is required it makes me trust you yeah but um i got this movie i'm so excited to watch it's called the siege and it's all about like these cops that go on strike which is really great because i'm really in a robocop right now so like it works out and so um so the cops go on strike and then when the cops go on strike they go to this gay bar they kill everyone at the gay bar not funny right but here's what happened one gay guy lives he goes to the projects and he enlists the projects to help him kill all the cops it's gonna be very excited to see this complicated themes it was like i will take one of those please thank you sir and i got a bunch of alligator movies i'm very excited um yeah we just went to the dvd guy every day basically yeah let's see if we got new stuff each day we went to see if we got new stuff and then we got all the same stuff and we just kept buying it and kept getting it and to me that's a sign of maturity because guess what we didn't really buy t-shirts i bought four oh wow never mind see i felt very proud of myself that i didn't buy any t-shirts i bought four t-shirts i bought four t-shirts i bought four t-shirts actually i bought five now i'm thinking about it yeah i bought two for julie actually no that's not great that's not correct i bought the tusk t-shirt over at creeperama creeperama those guys tampa shout out florida yes i'm incorrect best shirt i bought in the whole thing it really was i got a thing and a psycho gorman from them you guys got to go to midsummer scream if you're in the area and you like horror movies it is what a way what a way to spend money and the best vendors i think you'd bleached a last podcast shirt for me and brought it back the next day hell yeah so dope yeah we love this everyone was so nice and before you think that we got paid for any of this don't worry we lost money yes so this whole thing literally but you know what i mean we sold merch but i mean it didn't do we like broke even but that's not what about we sold all our merch we also the point of midsummer scream and our presence of midsummer scream is because of how much we love horror movies how much am i getting paid for it you got paid eddie experience of meeting everyone my i got horrible knee problems now yeah concrete and jordan welcome dude that's fucking that's called connie dude i mean i've never had a more a better advertisement for hokas my whole life yeah dude i fucking wore hokas on the third day my knees are fine guess what we're gonna do next year sell hokas i think we're gonna put in hokas dude i think we're gonna have to get one of those like you know those mats that you can stand on well that's the thing because i'm used to the kitchen and i would always have kitchen mats that i would stand we should have if you could put a kitchen mat underneath me i'll be so much funnier and nicer oh yeah we'll set up a kitchen mat i had such a good time thank you everyone again for coming out and meeting us and hanging out at our booth only free signatures it was cool to do that for people oh yeah i'm not going to ever charge for a signature i don't believe in charging for a signature but i do think that our goal next year is to have some unique merch yes i think that's our goal yeah this was a good learning experience but we're gonna have some funny shit for you next year i can't wait some really special stuff somehow uh but yeah come and get it i love you guys fuck suck ain't shit it's time for our get to our first story here yeah that's a that's the new um it's the new transition transition yeah fuck my shit come suck my dick fly from your plane here we go so this is about a young boy dressed as a clown stabbed an old person to death yeah i mean that what could be more of a last podcast story than a teenager going dressed in a clown outfit big baggy clown outfit it was black it was red this is my thing and there was a man at a bus stop and he murdered him for no reason now figure dresses in a baggy i don't like the black and red clown outfit i'm gonna go ahead and call that harlequin okay not a clown oh yeah i see what you're saying because like black and red like that's my thing is that i've never seen a clown wear black when you do when you say the term clown dress as a clown i assume like more john wayne gacy style more like circus clown like this is very icp coded so in a way because he's wearing a ski mask he's not wearing clown makeup yeah that's why it's like when it comes down to it i just think that's a normal murderer yeah he went this is a way there's ring footage of him he went to another lady's house and he rang it uh he rang looking to murder more looking to kill her and then uh she didn't answer the door good on because she would have gotten killed. Don't answer the door if you don't know the person at the door, especially if they're wearing ICP gear and it's not one of the boys. Yeah, he said- If ICP shows up at your door and they need a phone because their fucking Malenko truck broke down, you can let them in because I don't think that they're going to do bad to you. I don't think what's- ICP people are good people. I'm not talking, no. I'm not talking about the fans. I'm talking about the band itself. I mean, they're dirty and they're gross and they live a horrible life, but they're good people. Again, this is not Juggalos. I'm saying that if Violet J or Shaggy 2 Dope arrive, if it's either one of them, you can invite them into your home. Into the foyer. Yes. There's always that room where you don't want them in. I'm not letting them in the bedroom. I'm not letting them use the personal toilet. They can use the guest toilet. You can use the front bathroom. You go, you want some waters? That's how I would treat Violet J or Shaggy 2 Dope. I'd be like, you just stay right here. I'll get you. You need a phone call? Great, absolutely. You want me to call AAA for you? Oh, it's hard for you to come. They don't have a hookup for your evil circus fan? You know the yellow line on the bus that you can't go past or you'll get arrested by the driver? Exactly. I got one in my house. It is right where the living room is. It's right where the living room is. You can be like, Violet J, love your energy, man. Leave the dogs alone. This kid, this 15-year-old who did this crime, first off, they're keeping his name a secret, which is very weird. It's because he's a minor, I guess. But so many times they're like, this child, James Frank, killed his family, but this time they're keeping his name a secret. They're being classy. Yeah, I guess. But when he went to the ring door, not the person he killed, he goes, I have a gift for you. And then they didn't answer the door. That's hack. This is hack shit, okay, guys? Well, that's literally what he did. That's my fucking problem with this. In the end, really, is that it's unoriginal. I feel like he could have done this in many ways. I don't like that he. You know what it is? When I see an evil clown costume on you and you're murdering people, it feels like when they make the Annabelle doll too creepy on purpose. Yeah. No, it's creepier if it's just a rag doll, dude. This guy doesn't understand. If you just wore a regular regulation clown outfit, that's way scarier. Yeah. Like, this is the. I don't buy him. I don't think he really wants to be in the evil circus. I don't think he wants to join the mayhem carnival, dude. Well, he was just trying to kill old people, too. I know, but you could do that. You gotta kill children if you're dressed as a clown. Exactly, Eddie. That's another thing. True. If he was gonna scare old people, you'd do it this way, which is truly my favorite story of the week, which is a man dressed as the Grim Reaper. Yes! He stood on top of. So, all right, this is the thing. I can't tell if this guy's a villain or a hero. I. I like him. I like him. He's a necessary evil. Also, TMZ, don't put any more fucking AI images at the top of your articles. It's fucking stupid. I'm gonna freak out. All right, TMZ, you're already bad. Yeah, you're already bad. You're one of the best sources of news, sadly, in the country. But this is fucking bad, dude. You gotta stop with the AI. That's the first time I've seen that on their page, and it fucking sucks, and it looks stupid and shit. You think that's AI? Of course it's AI! What are you talking about? You know what, Eddie? It could just be normal photoshopping, but it's probably AI. Yeah, it's definitely AI. It's definitely AI. Look how short her arm is, and then they gave her a big bicep for some reason. You know why? It's because she's been flicking her old ass bee. Yeah, and it's a big one, too. Yeah, it's a big old hunker. Big old Twinkie Doodle. Yeah, it holds a bunch of potatoes. Yeah, come and take a look at my fucking big old frank. Yeah, it's a frankenfooder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a wide set. One of those big hot dogs called Not Worst. Yeah, she's got a Not Worst down there. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's a big Jewish hot dog. Not Worst are delicious, by the way. I know, they are. I love Not Worst. I have no problem. I got a bratwurst, I got a Not Worst, I got both. It's fine with me. So anyway. This man named Leon Gillespie. I love that his name is Leon Gillespie. It's a good one. Now, he was standing on top of this hospital. So it was. No, you said across from the hospital, right? Was it across from the hospital? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the people in the hospital, in the beds, would look out the window and see him standing, I think, on top of the parking garage. No, it's pretty great. So he sat there. It seemed to be he was across from the hospital. For an hour, he was up there. He had a scythe. He was waving it back and forth and pointing at people. Now, when they came to arrest him, because they called and they arrested him. This is in the UK, by the way. They came and they arrested him, and he said, I'm no old grim reaper. They're like, what do you mean you're not a grim reaper? Leon Gillespie? And he said, he's like, no, I'm a crow. Yeah, he said he was a blackbird or a crow. No, he wasn't. He had a scythe. Yeah, you know, you were clearly the grim reaper staring at a hospital. That's the funniest thing. Just be funny about it. Just be, you know, don't sit there. Now you're saying you're guilty. Yeah, exactly. Before, you had legs to stand on before. Now you're being like, oh, I'm an asshole and I'm trying to get away with it. You should have just owned it and been like, what? You're going to stop me from dressing like the grim reaper? I'm a grim reaper and staring at the hospital. This would be a really good opportunity to pitch something much like the film The Santa Claus, where the original grim reaper falls off a roof and then he's found by a local young man of broccoli. This is a phenomenal story. He then has to become the grim reaper. He's then the grim reaper and then his job is to kind of do it his own way. And he's like, oh, you know, and maybe this is what happened with Mitch McConnell is that the fact that the grim reaper visited him, but like didn't feel. He died on the way to see him at the hospital. Yes. And that was a problem. It put Mitch McConnell. He fell off the parking garage across the street from the hospital. Yeah. And now Mitch McConnell's hovering between because no one's there to fill the paperwork because they just sent his brain stem home. Do you see that? They just sent him home. Oh, yeah. They discharged him. Yeah, well. Quote, unquote, discharged him. Discharge is also what's fucking coming out of him at all times. Not a video of him leaving the hospital. Not a video of him sitting in a wheelchair, waving, saying, I'm fine, can't wait to get back to work. It's an urn. Not a single. They brought the urn to the house. Yes. Yes. And the urn's going to be voting and it's going to be very nice. Just, if he's already dead, can I kill him again? Yeah. Thanks. Yeah, no problem. But the Leo Gillespie, he went and he gave these people a thrill because I think it would be so fun to see the grim reaper before. Mm-hmm. Because then it really, like, affirms, I don't want to see a tunnel of light. You'd rather see the grim reaper than light? Of course. Well, I think light makes sense because it's just your brain dying. Your brain shut down. Well, you get an influx of DMT. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Your brain floods with, like, DMT and adrenaline and all that kind of stuff that allows you to hallucinate as you die so that it kind of comforts you, I believe. Mm-hmm. Well, I, from, you know, from what I have been told by my father who died twice, is that there was nothing. He didn't know he died. I also feel that. He said there was nothing. Your dad. You don't think there's any light or a grim reaper waiting for him? And that's why? There was just no one there to collect him? They were like. And they were like, you have to go back to Earth because we're just, like, no one cares to collect you? I just think. Is that what you're trying to say about my father? I think they were just like, we're super busy right now. It was COVID. Yeah. And I think that we're super busy right now and honestly, we'll get back to you. Yeah. I feel like it's one of those when your dad died. You know when you cover up the. You call and they're like, you can put your phone number in and we'll call you back in 16 minutes. I think that's what they did to your dad. Yeah, my dad woke up and the nurse came up to him and said, wild night last night. And then he said, what are you talking about? She's like, you died. You were dead for six minutes. I don't need the nurse making fucking jokes about it. What do you mean, wild night last night? And I asked my dad, I was like, hey, so you see anything? And he said. There is nothing. God, he was so happy to tell you. He really was. He was a staunch atheist forever. Oh, yeah. And he was just like, guess what? The best part? Total blackness. Fucking ready for it. That's all I want. Is that how your dad talked? No, he was more. He had a voice like mine, actually. Didn't you do an impression of your father? Not really. Yeah. I can't. It wasn't like this. He'd talk like, oh, Eddie. Why you fucking Eddie? That's more of my mom. Hmm. That's more. No, I remember your mom. Hey, Eddie. Hey, Eddie. Hey, it's me, Eddie. I'm in heaven. That's. No, my mom was very, very kind and nice. I know your mom. Except for when she hit me. Well, that was different. That's your job. Yeah, that was, you know. That was her fucking job. That's an East Coast woman from the 80s, and they hit their children. Nope. And we still love them anyway for some reason. The key about an East Coast mother is that she has to hit you, and then in the crying of her apologizing for hitting you has to actually be worse than her hitting you. Yes. Okay, that's the rule. The rule is the apology has to be more unpleasant than the abuse. Yeah, you just have to get big enough that when they hit you, you just laugh at them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That really. Honestly, that was my biggest weapon is when my mom would hit me and just be like. That didn't hurt, lady. I'll tell you what. My mama, it always hurt. Really? She's real strong. Yeah. She's got strong little hands. My mom was 5'4", and I was a beast back then. Well, you were all jacked. I was all jacked up. I kind of liked getting hit back then. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was at the time of my life, and I was just like, Let's fucking go, fucking lady. Let's see what you got. So you just like would tackle your mother. Plow through her She was actually defending herself Wow cool Let's isolate this So let's talk about Real quick Leon Gillespie he was arrested Given a 200 pound fine and let go Doesn't matter no one cares it's over These people are going to be dead soon Yeah who cares I think it's a funny joke I think it's funny It's rude if someone was doing it If I went to the hospital to visit someone And I saw someone doing it I would confront them and make them stop It doesn't mean it's not funny You know what it is I feel that if I was sick in a hospital bed That's different I'd laugh I would laugh That would be hilarious That's the thing that nobody understands They should do that later on When our generation is finally in hospice I would laugh my fucking ass off If they had a Grim Reaper coming through Through the hospital Like literally meeting everyone like See you soon As a clipboard just like crossing names off That would be the I'd be like ah fucker Try to take me fucker Like that would be so funny Looking for a James Thompson James Thompson Looking for James Thompson If you can't have a sense of humor At that moment in time dude You're fucked as it is man Like that's my thing I'd rather be laughing Because if you're not laughing you're crying So yeah that's funny to me Also send a stripper through Yeah I mean they do that Do they do that Well I don't think the hospital does But people send strippers to the hospital I know that happens I mean they do it don't worry about it We were talking about host spice but I'm talking about real life No real life yeah no host spice is your thing That's different That's my thing That's your thing There's a place called Chesley Trust back in the day That did used to bring in strippers For people dying People People Are Hireable I love this My hospice patient hired an escort as his caregiver Of course Yeah why not Fuck yeah dude Stroke that dick buddy If it working If you got cancer riddled to your body Your dick still works Fucking God bless I'm looking through our stories They're all kind of like today There is one I feel like that's a precautionary tale That we should tell people about The North Carolina couple This is super This is a lesson Yeah that I want to This is actually a lesson This is actually kind of almost a serious lesson Yeah So Two people in Burke County They're facing first degree murder charges Alright so they shot two people So Dalton Berry And what seems to be his partner The suspects Are Jamar Props and Tasha Lewis Yeah Right So the murder victims Are Carla and Raheem Murray They were in the Morganton Hemp They both work in Morganton Hemp Yeah Right Some really gross Weed store out there And they North Carolina's trying They are trying And so these guys Were the Murrays Were happily talking about A large inheritance That they were going to receive $75,000 Yes And they were saying that this was coming And they were I would say almost bragging about it Yeah To their They were excited And they didn't Yes They weren't smart enough To keep their mouth shut Of course not And so what happened Is that they invited A person by the name of Jamar Props I guess he stayed over the night And they seems That then They left the door open They were hanging out They talked about this Whoever was staying over in the night Left the door open So that the other could come Either Tasha Or I believe it was Tasha Came in They shot them in their sleep Right Yeah Murdered them in their sleep Then used their faces To open up their cash app On their phone On their phone And sent $19,000 to themselves From the cash app It's just so easy to get caught Well it's because Not everybody is a master criminal And in this story It seems that the desperation took over Yeah And they don't quite wrap their heads around The idea of evidence Or the fact that they're even going to investigate it Or the fact that when you create a type of Fucking absolutely deadlocked trail Like a full on opening of your own phone Inside the murder location With the app directly with your fucking name on it And your bank information attached to it Like it's a whole thing So it is super easy They then buried the bodies It's just fuck The lesson here Is that Is if you're coming into money And you're Let's say I mean not to be an asshole If you're in like a poor neighborhood Specifically Truly if you're in a poor neighborhood Yeah Because like that's what's hard Is that But I'll say across the board You never know People will come after you Yes The idea If you say the words I got free money coming You're going to get the attention to somebody That is not going to have your best intentions in mind It may not be someone Who's going to fucking shoot you And you just Use your face to open their phone And send a bunch of money to themselves With the cash app But they will Annoy you Oh yes You will get No one This is my pro tip If you're coming into money If you got inheritance If you win the lottery If you Invent something That you Maybe there's not a direct trail to you If you make a nice app That makes a fuck ton of money Somewhere Kind of one of those things That comes Especially like lottery Inheritance Yeah Say Nothing Yeah Just keep it Just keep living your life Comfortably Get the money Just get a little night Just upgrade your car Change Nothing Change nothing Except for yeah The little tangible things Unless you make that Big ol' Fuck you Fuck you money And then you just leave Wherever you're from Disappear Yeah Never Don't tell anybody That you got that money Ever Make And cause also Here's the line Fuck you money Is not till ten million Remember that Fuck you money One million means nothing It means nothing Ten million You can put Half in the bank And that will Make you go For the rest of your life Right That's where ten Ten million's the number If you got less than ten million Don't kill everybody yet Yes That's the problem That's the key Kill somebody What's your amount To kill somebody for Eddie? To kill somebody? I mean nothing I would never do it Wow I would never I would never I mean I would kill I mean it would have to be A crime of passion Well yeah I wouldn't do it for money For money I would never do it for money My passion for money Would be the reason why I don't think I don't think there is a number Yeah Cause like Cause if I got a billion dollars I would just like Try to help people Well a billion dollars Is fucking unrealistic Exactly And like A hundred million I'd probably kill somebody for See I don't care See I'd do it Just for the sake of Like I'd take that money And then Hmm I'd buy the killdozer with it And then I'd get all the revenge You'd get a killdozer For fucking Forty fifty grand probably I don't That's if I'm not building it Yeah That's if I'm building it Yeah oh yeah You wanna buy a killdozer I'm gonna need to get somebody To work on it Yeah And I'm gonna get a killdozer guy You need somebody Who can get all the parts You need a union welder Two fifty I'm thinking now Two hundred fifty grand A real proper killdozer Okay Side story is L-P-O-T-L-G-M-L-D-O-T-C-O-M If I can get two fifty grand Can we build this together Yeah L-P-N themed I just wanna take it over I wanna take over a small town It's the world's biggest battle bot That's it That's all it is That's all we're doing Over here But yeah so Don't tell people If you make a bunch of money Cause they'll just kill you In the night Never tell them Keep it to yourself Just take the money And just Just don't Don't do it I know it's It's fun to do It's fun to brag Yeah But don't do it Cause you're gonna get Shot in the face Alright so who are we Looking at here Perez Hilton We could talk about slightly It's a fucked up story I don't know what to say About this man It's just like You live this life And then it ends bad I mean like And like I don't know What to do about this I don't like the man But this is awful For those of you That are not of this generation Perez Hilton Was one of the original Snark bloggers Of all time He used to Terrorize celebrities And he used to like Draw a cum on them He used to draw Like you know Draw a cum on all the pictures He used to Out Celebrities that were In the closet He used to Make fun of children He sold Miley Cyrus's Picture of her vagina When she was 17 Yeah he's He was one of those Original Original Trolls And I got a lot of people There's a lot of people That you know It's a controversial Story Because Perez Hilton I guess last week Went live On TikTok On TikTok And he Straight up Did a Buffalo Bill style He was I saw the stills From it I was like Trying to find the video of it I couldn't find it But he was covered in blood Completely naked You could see his penis He was Cutting himself a bunch He was cutting himself a bunch And he basically Threatened to commit suicide Now I believe He is hospitalized I think they are They Baker acted him In Florida Yes Just so you know His real name is Fucking Mario Yeah Which makes sense But he He got this The thing about him Is that like I am I'm one of those I get it I'm full Troll Right I'm with you I'm one of those Where it's like I understand Yeah but you're not Selling pictures of Minors Vaginas No, because I'm not a fucking criminal, but I'm I am a guy that understands that a part of my existence is going to make 30 of the people who listen to me angry yeah right and i like that that's what i live for it's part of yeah it's part of what makes us so appealable but also i like to entertain people i just want to in the end even though i am offending these people i mostly really in my heart of hearts want to entertain them yeah but he doesn't tell jokes no so perez hilton i think for a while got off in kind of this at the time when things were really really mean and we were kind of going hard at britney spears and lindsey lohan and all that kind of stuff and now we're back in a mean place right now we're in a mean place again and i just find it interesting there are still a lot of people who are nice now back then i felt like almost nobody was nice well yes it was we were really take because it was we didn't see the repercussions yet no we didn't understand but now it feels like people are still making fucks of money being extremely mean yeah extremely unfair and exploitive and so you'd think that perez hilton would be doing really well in this time period but it seems that he's not and i think that it shows that if you live an essentially morally bankrupt life eventually it all comes around it's interesting because it was like him and tmz were like head and head they were both just as popular as each other at least i thought they were sort of yeah and then and then at some point perez kind of went crazy and tmz went a little more straight edge yeah and well now tmz is due it's in washington dc technically doing some of the better investigative reporting inside the city right now even though they're fucking the people at tmz are monsters they are monsters please do not misconstrue our our the way we talk about them as being nice about them no they just do they just get the story they're the first person with the story yes they get the they are not i don't want want them and i don't want to ever be a center of one of their investigations but what they do is they get that information fucking fast as hell yeah and it's evil sometimes sometimes celebrities die and the person they find out their fucking family member died from was a tmz person of course and then um and then technically perez hilton he tried to apologize i guess earlier this year he was trying to apologize i guess that was the big deal is that that's why he's now he's doing this but i think this problem is that no one wanted to hear it to me it seems that his apology didn't take and then he's deciding to do something else that is i'm not going to say it's disingenuous i mean yeah no i'm sure it's genuine but at the same time it's like all right you're sorry i don't give a fuck you don't have i still don't that mean i gotta like you no it's like you can change your mind yeah and you can try to change but you still did it but also just because you apologize doesn't mean people have to accept it yeah you know and so i immediately accept his apology and then now and then he tried to do a thing and yes i do think he needs help but we shall see how serious the attempt was i think the um the real villain here is tiktok oh that's just leaving the fucking but they cut off live streams when you're like when you're filming an ice officer they'll fucking cut off the live stream dude we're already he's slicing his own throat they keep it up we already passed the point dude straight up we're past the point if we're thinking that we're going to get any form of accountability like we're not getting any accountability on the corporate side for another like five years so just we got to get rid of even just that idea like if you look at chat gpt what open ai is doing all of these things we're like there we are we are outside of the accountability era right now so we just need to get we just need to survive this next five years of what's the over the unchecked social media rampaging yes because there are i mean like there's seriously we have an article we didn't even bring up today because it was so thick with chat gbt fucking uh influencing a mass shooter well that mass shooter dude just constantly begged all he did we read a very interesting article uh from i forgot which publication this was from it was from mother jones uh about the mass shooter at florida state uh phoenix ickner and you could see this person was openly talking about suicide call themselves an inside was constantly talking about the other mass shooters what they did what would the effect of him doing a mass shooting at fsu would be like right and the thing is about open ai is that it is it send all these messages being like call 998 no like all this fucking horseshit but it still never just called the police yeah if the machine had any form of regulation inside of it the second someone called the police it was like oh my god i'm gonna call the police i'm gonna call the police someone said they were planning a shooting it would call the police themselves yeah or even asking about it as someone who googles horrible shit all the time fucking check me on it too i would love to tell you i'm just working but also they do you know i don't give a fuck we don't talk we not talking to the fake thing in a box yeah we're not pretending we're friends with it yes it's we're not it's all fake large language models are fake yeah they are fake there's nothing there is a no ghost in the show it's like the opposite there's nothing in there so you're just letting it revert like say the same things back to you over and over again and just because you're training it to be your friend yes so and they are because open ai is rushing towards this ipo opening it's trying to get all this shit done because they even had meetings in the mother jones article it talks about how they had already flagged him they had meetings about this dude they just didn't do anything because that would mean they would have to go to the hospital and they would have to go to the hospital and they would have to do something all the time yes yeah which is fucked up but meanwhile we're just dealing with cops abusing flock cameras to follow their girlfriends and shit or like or women they're attracted to or someone just trying to drive over to a cooler state to buy weed and come home yeah it's just all like so just just so you know we're just gonna have to make through the next five years and i just think that uh when it comes to somebody like perez helton couldn't happen to a nicer guy so we'll see how it goes i hopefully you he gets the help he needs and maybe he can figure his shit out you know god fucking knows i mean there's got to be i do believe depending on what you've done in this life there does need to be a place of redemption yes for people yeah i don't think i mean not for pedophiles as far as i'm concerned but i do think there needs to be a place for redemption because what's the point of anything well yeah if you're gonna have prison there has to be redemption that's the thing you know it's people back in the society this could be his redemption moment if he could figure it out for himself but i'm still i'm never gonna like him it doesn't matter you gotta he's gotta like him yeah yeah perez helton's gotta go away and he needs to find a thing for himself yeah good luck yeah i mean well yeah exactly so does a tree fall in the four if a tree falls in the forest do we hear it yeah exactly who fucking knows how these people look at rachel dolezal who's now becoming who's now nikkei diallo because now she just became a sex coach we're gonna talk about this next week all right go ahead we're talking about it next week next week because rachel dolezal you know how much you love rachel i know you love rachel well no i'm sorry her name nkechi diallo nkechi yeah yeah she's african oh but here's what i here's what i want to talk about this is an old story that i've never heard about and i don't know how true it is but i love it and it's unbelievable between 2002 and 2012 i this comes off of i literally got this off of instagram so i hope it's fake um six people were killed in the philippines video key bars over renditions of frank sinatra's my way all right it was so basically what would happen is it's they're so intense with their karaoke over there that with people would sing my way off key people would shoot them and kill them well you know what it seems like it's kind of funny because it is real the my way killings are considered real there are social phenomena in the philippines and it seems that it's not nobody's saying that it's my way specifically it seems to have happened with my way specifically because of the nature of the song yes the song is a selfish machismo machismo standing up to the world i'll always be haunted by my way because i always you love the song well no the song i love is that's life oh that's a dad's right you like that's life the thing that my way is it's considered a satanic anthem oh but my problem with that song is that i'm always i'm haunted always by the the i'll always remember 2016 in the election when trump and melania were doing the first their first dance was to my way oh and i'm always been i've been like haunted by that song ever since because it's just like watching them do that dance was like me realizing like oh we're fucked yeah um and they but this is a this is very interesting because it is true it seems because number one my way is a big old like i did it my way so it's like it's really obnoxious it is a fucking it's a crowd clearer yes if you do it wrong uh but a security guard shot someone named romey belligula um back in 2007 for singing it off key that was the most famous one but yeah apparently it's because people were saying it off key and then now you can't even find it in most karaoke bars the philippines because so many people got killed singing my way they've been pulling it out this is really interesting this is like there's a whole article on this that i'm looking at this we may have to like do something like follow up on this like there's a proper little breakdown this is really funny there's a whole series of karaoke rage murders it's crazy really yes in august 2007 i hate karaoke i much rather just listen to the music i love i do love it i i will go do it and i will participate if it's at the bar you know whatever i will be a part of it i'm a performer i'm not that big of an asshole but if i'm just chilling and i go to a bar and there's karaoke i walk out and i go to the next bar of course but i you know you know me i'm a theater child at heart but these the killings connected to singing this song may simply just say i love this one explanation is that my way is just extremely popular in violent environments yeah it's a mafia song in bad neighborhood the song my way is sang more and so that like that's really a funny idea but look at this dude in china in 2012 a guy killed two people with a meat cleaver doing a song he didn't like in july 2013 an american was stabbed to death refusing to stop singing in krabi thailand and march 22 oh yeah that's right i forgot about this ezra miller got flipped out of canada karaoke bar i love that he's on this list yeah yeah yeah he fucking flipped out of karaoke bar that's pretty great dude how about the guy in thailand who shot eight people to death including his own brother-in-law in a dispute stemming from several karaoke offerings including someone repeatedly singing john denver's take me home country country roads i love that song but six times in a row take me home country roads take me home i just want to hear john denver i don't want to hear henry but it is a i love this idea of people because it's true i just think people are liquored up i think it's emotional's place to be in you're vulnerable it's people who don't perform you are performing i'm i'm not performing i'll always really care the one time every time i go to karaoke there's like four people there who fucking really really care yeah i'm one no you're not well i don't get upset no there's people it's like that's what they that's their thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no i'm not i'm not uh i have a life yeah yeah no i like to do other things in my life i just really love karaoke and when i do it i fucking do it but i will say how many times is one person allowed to do karaoke in a night three times three times right that's i i feel like that's safe that's a good safe limit that is the maximum amount of songs a singular person should be able to sing you're incredible and people are begging for it no one is no one is no one is because they want to go because they want to sing because it's not about being incredible it's about being it's about you singing i will say henry is amazing at doing natural woman i do love mike i love karaoke but i have found that my demos are i love karaoke but i have found that my demos are my demos are sliding away from me buddy yeah no i i sang blueberry hill recently no one knew what the fuck i was doing i went in there and i was like hold on hold on no one knows blueberry hill i went to go sing heaven let your light shine down by collective soul oh okay that's not even that old no it's fucking brand new song and i went to the karaoke bar surrounded by zoomers and i was doing because it's one of my favorite things because like i was one of the first guys up there singing right we got there kind of early so i went up there singing and i kept going whoa whoa let your light shine down and then when he got to the part right i was doing the yeah i was trying to hand the yeah over to the audience as you should yeah yeah because it's their part and then when i went to go do it these zoomers are staring at me like i'm a fucking police officer they're like looking at me and i was like yeah yeah but no you're you're you're why aren't you singing your girl well nothing not to be you know we're gonna silence we're going to a full i've never bombed soon i've never bombed in karaoke before really it was one of the first time i've ever bombed in karaoke and i felt like i felt like elon musk dancing you know what i mean i felt like how did i get here why am i like this this shouldn't be like that now you know how collective soul feels oh wow you know these kids man you know they were getting up i know but whatever you know these kids are not as smart as they used to be um for instance um this boy in arkansas is a football player uh he was playing it was football practice uh for two hours before he realized there was a rattlesnake in his helmet now god damn it son i don't know what i have i don't know what i have to do to get through to you all right there's an active serpent next to you brain i don't understand son i don't know i know i know son there is two mice running around your shoulders it was like my helmet doesn't fit right today well let me take a look how big is it some helmet is supposed to be so tight let me take a look at that put it on you put the only way it works god fucking damn it son foot snake son i need you how in the living fuck are you gonna run the fucking rush program against fucking magunga state and you can't feel a rattlesnake in your hair the snake was two fifths as long as his body buddy i've got to say your situational awareness is at a zero i need you to pump it up are you even aware i'm talking to you right now son are you do you know my name son what's my name well your new name is snakehead just guess what snakehead you're about to do fucking you're about to do 50 push-ups okay i'm gonna put a snake on your back all right i'm sick and tired you're gonna eat the snake in front of me we're gonna take this snake out you're gonna smoke the entire snake right in front of me and your mother we're gonna get it out now you smoke the whole fucking thing and you be sick god damn it snakehead damn it snakehead i just snakehead why are you get out of the gully god damn it snakehead if you weren't six foot four i'd fucking beat you to death myself all right but i need you i need you the big old horse is gonna take you some way to you're gonna take us over with the title we're gonna take you to the title right i don't care if you're snakehead man there was this big old kid we used to play with we used to call him dump truck and he was so stupid yeah and then one day he you don't get the name dump truck by being a fucking engineering student he was strong as fuck man but he loved his nickname dump truck and one day he went to the barber to like get it like shaved into the back of his head definitely and then he came back and in uh it said dunk truck he's because he had a lisp when he told the barber so the barber didn't know he said dump truck he thought i said dunk truck yeah yeah i guess whatever he showed us all his head because he fought it said dump truck but it said that's pretty great oh one of the great moments of my life yeah but now he is the attorney general of the state of florida no it's funny as i don't remember his real name no because you shouldn't he's probably dead there's no way he's alive but that's the kind of kid that ends up with a snake in his helmet oh yeah damn it son all right where we're at now we're time for this where we're at now it's time it's time all right in the mail do we have a new stinger it's time for listener email so get all the details send them to the boys l-p-i-t-l-i-g mail henry zabrowski and ed larson too so rise from your graves for the lpn crew i understand it's good but i hate it it is extremely well made you're very talented they're very talented i hope i never hear it again you know it's just that's very gurney coded yeah yeah it's very now because kelly sends me lots of videos now which i love because you know we'll go back and forth on instagram but she sends me the new thing has been the new thing has been the new thing has been the new thing emo covers of phantom of the opera songs okay it's like a whole thing into that oh no now i just know they're horrific i just send them to natalie to annoy her yes because we're both phantom people is she an emo person no no is she not like no we do it just to annoy her yeah because we're phantom people oh that was uh that was falling into you uh from pennsylvania he sent it in do you guys want a different one i got a different one no no okay we'll save it for next he did great work he did great work he nailed the genre that's exactly how i hate the genre that's exactly how that should sound yeah no no they nailed it i don't want i don't want it to be thought that i said it sucked i just hate it you know what we need you know what we need in response to that one i want a collective soul slash yeah alice in chains version oh yes that's what i want butt rock yeah i want a butt rock version i read that i saw some clip on the instagram some some podcast was talking about the idea of their favorite butt rock guys Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Listener, male. You know what butt rock is? Butt rock? Butt rock is stuff like Creed is good butt rock. Yeah. Things that sound like that was like, On that little cinder's world is so too far away again. That was Filter, though. I think Filter is like, Puddle of mud, they were formed by Stained, right? No, that's what they left when they stopped touring. I know. Wow. Yes, I beat him on that one. I beat him on that one. I don't think you did. Burn away for me to hold. You know, Cock Rock, Black Keys, that kind of stuff? Yeah, that's different. That's Cock Rock. That's better. You know, they call it post-grunge butt rock. It's post-grunge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, here we go. Guys who didn't have the fucking balls to do heroin. Yeah, we know what's up. We're not going to get any of the return shows because of heroin. Oh, my God. Henry and I were lamenting the other day how much we would immediately go to like a stadium tour that was Nirvana and Soundgarden. I would be unbearable. Trying to get tickets to that. You got me there, dude. I would get so fucking drunk, and I would be such a fucking problem in that show, man. That Nirvana, Soundgarden show. No, that's so. I'm so mad I can't have that. I would just be like, yeah! You know, like that style of just, fuck yeah! But somehow Axl Rose lived. Yeah. Because he cut his hair. Oh, that's what happened. I'm going to see them. I don't care. They're great. In my early mid-twenties, my then-boyfriend and I moved into an older apartment just outside of Baston. The building was from the 1800s, and it was not kept up super well. So it was pretty cheap, even for the time. We paid $1,200 a month for this two-bedroom apartment with a dining room, a sun porch, plus two additional rooms in the attic that we could use for storage. The attic rooms were creepy at best. My house that I grew up in had a daughter porch. Because they could free bleed out there. That's what's nice. You don't want them bleeding out of the house. Get outside! Get outside! Get outside! You're bleeding! What's this red puddle? You're bleeding! Get outside! Bleeding outside! Get outside, you bleeding woman! So the dogs could have it! Come on now, let the dog lip at it! And the walls in the apartment were made of horsehair, plaster, and crumbling a bit in some places. And it wasn't a slum apartment, but just crappy enough that I felt a little embarrassed to have people over. To give you an idea of the level of upkeep, I once cut my foot on a broken linoleum tile in the kitchen, and the landlord's son came to me and said, and instead of replacing the full tile, he simply cut a corner of dirty tile from underneath the refrigerator, glued it in place over where the other tile had peeled back. I'm actually surprised you even got somebody over there. When I lived in New York City, I didn't, I never saw a super. Yeah, and linoleum tiles? That doesn't make sense. Linoleum's just like a piece of shit. What? Linoleum's just like. No, linoleum tile. Yeah, it's tile. You can make a tile of linoleum. Is it called a tile? No, it's just like a strip. A strip. I fucking couldn't possibly care less. I don't care. I don't know. I guess I'm getting hung up on the wrong thing. You are. We're looking at the tiles right now. We're looking at the linoleum tiles right there. But it's rolled up. You can't roll up a tile. I have no idea. They don't know, Eddie. They don't know. The writer doesn't know. We don't know. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. A few months after we moved into the apartment, I started to notice that the bathroom light was always left on. The bathroom was right off the kitchen, and with an ear. With an eye shot of the living room, where we spent most of our time. Obviously, I blame my boyfriend for this. I would playfully give him shit about it. And he would deny all culpability, until one night, we decided to deliberately turn off the light, and we all told ourselves, if this light is turned back on, we know there's a ghost in the house. Okay. We were watching a movie on the couch, and about an hour or two later, I noticed the bathroom light was on. I immediately called my boyfriend out for this, but we both pretty quickly realized that neither one of us had moved from the couch, since we had turned off the light. Neither of us really believed that there was anything paranormal going on, but we started to playfully refer to the ghost, any time anything weird happened. Other little things started happening. My boyfriend would always leave his cell phone on the nightstand overnight. Like I said, the apartment was old, and the floors were very slanted in some areas. His phone started slipping forward off the nightstand, and would wake us up occasionally with a thud in the middle of the night. To prevent this. Yes. He started putting his water bottle in front of the phone, so that it couldn't slide forward off the nightstand. First night he did this, the phone started sliding sideways off the nightstand instead. Hmm. Could the floors be slanted in both directions? For sure. We brushed it off. Once in the middle of the night, my boyfriend woke me up when he was coming back into the bedroom after getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You had to walk a long way. By the time you go back to the bedroom, right? I've been one of these, where it's like you have to walk across the house to go to the bathroom and come back. That's annoying. By the time you come back, you're like, awake. He asked me why I had called for him. I told him I hadn't. I was dead asleep, and I definitely wasn't yelling down the hallway. He told me that he heard me say his name, clear as day, when he was walking through the living room. Josh! Josh! We didn't really discuss it. I think it's most of us just kind of chalked it up to him hearing things. Until a couple months later, when I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. As I was walking through the living room, I heard my boyfriend's voice say my nickname, Mo. In a very clear and loud voice. It sounded like he was right next to me, so I jumped, and I called back immediately. When I didn't hear anything, I went to the bathroom and then crawled back into bed. He was fast asleep, deep breathing. He was an extremely light sleeper, and would wake up at the slightest sounds. When I asked him whether or not he had said my name, he was confused, and he said he definitely hadn't. I was spooked after that. The only real thing that I experienced during this time period was vicious nightmares. It was a dream. Almost every night, I would wake up in a cold sweat after dying in my dreams. I would die in different ways nearly every time, but it would always be due to getting injured in the same spot in my mid-low back along my spine. You're not sleeping right. Yeah. Gotta get a new mattress. Put that pillow between your legs. That's what I do. Some dreams, I would get shot in the back and die, and others, I would be stabbed. I remember a couple of dreams where my back was shredded by birds clawing at me. Others involved a taser to the back. You get the idea. Yeah. When I woke up, I could almost physically feel the pain as the dream wore off. I'm normally prone to vivid dreams and nightmares, but these had a totally different flavor from anything else I've experienced before or after. Coincidentally, the back-breaking dreams ended when I moved into a new apartment. In my opinion, there are two possibilities. One, we were living with the ghost of somebody who had been stabbed in the back in that apartment. Two, the apartment was just old and drafty, and the floors were so slanted that my back spasmed the bed every night and seeped into my dreamscape. I'm not sure if that's possible. It's possible. Very possible. I've had the thing. I've experienced my name being called by Natalie. Yeah? And she not be there. I've experienced that a couple times. I've experienced hearing the door open and close and coming back and Natalie's not there, and going like, "Natalie!" She's not there. Yeah. I do feel like there is a sense of familiarity between partners that is a little bit of it, and then I wonder whether or not. But I've had a couple of those. Sometimes you just- I don't tell Natalie because she freaks her out. Yeah. Also, I always feel like if I think there's a ghost around me, I won't talk about it because I don't want to give the ghost satisfaction. I don't want to give you satisfaction. I don't want you to know that I don't want to do that shit. Do you think when you talk about them, it makes you more powerful? They get stronger. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess so. You acknowledge about it. You acknowledge it. Just let it live in my soup of nightmares. That is my head. Oh, absolutely. Also, her nickname's Mo. What's her real name? Molissa? No, it's actually a lot of times Mo is short for Maureen. Oh, Maureen. Do you know that? Oh. Not Mo-lissa or Mo-rissa. Moesha. It could be for Moesha. It's probably Moesha. Oh, well, hopefully we'll find out. I try to keep it anonymous. But we'll find out, Moesha. We will find out. Well, you got to live every day knowing for a fact that sometimes a ghost is going to be in your house knocking your cell phone off, and you got to love the fact that he's knocking your cell phone off the fucking counter. Because honestly, don't plug your phone in in your bedroom, okay? Because then you will laugh at how much your sleep will increase without the pressure of the world staring at you while you sleep from your phone. You can put it across the room. I leave it downstairs. Downstairs? Yeah. Wow, that's far. Yeah. If I'm asleep, you might as well. If someone dies in the night, I'll find out in the morning. Honestly, if they're dead, who cares? Yeah. I mean, you know, there's nothing I can't do right now. A full night of sleep will make me a better person responding to that. I just don't. Do people still do that? [email protected]. I have not had my phone on ring in a decade. Oh, no, no, no. Occasionally, if I know I'm waiting for something and I'm doing shit and it's plugged in, I'll put it on ring. But that's only. Yeah, I don't listen to it. I don't. I specifically put it on there. Yes. Well, you know, that's how we're doing it. Listen, folks. This weekend, Sunday, Dead Men Tell Some Tales. That's this weekend. It's going to be so much fucking fun. I can't wait for this show. Henry's going to be there. Jackie's also going to be there doing it with us. Ashley Brooke Roberts offhand Disney. Dallin's going to be there. be there, but it's going to be me and Disney Dan Becker. We're going to be doing all dark Disney history, talking about everyone who died at the parks, and we're going to be a jerk about it on this D23 weekend. My question to you is, how many tickets you got? Oh, we got, like, it's still, like, got, like, at least 60 tickets. So come on. So come on down. There's also a live stream. So if you live out of town, so many people are like, I want a live stream. I want to see it. I made it happen. So you want to see the live stream of it? It's a lot of fun. This is probably one of the last times I'm ever going to do this show, so go check it out. It's super fun. It's just, like, a passion project. Is that true you're just saying that to sell tickets, or in a way? No, I don't think I'll do it again, probably. I don't know. It's a lot of work. It is. It's a lot of work for very little reward. So come on out and check out the show. Honestly, come on. It's a great show, truly. It is. I put a lot, it put a lot into it. He really did. Like, not even, that's why I even bring it up, because how much work he's put in. He's, like, written the show like three times. He's really working on it. It's like a whole thing. Come check it out. I'll be improv-ing on it, ruining how much work Eddie did on this script. I literally told Henry to come and ruin the show, or try to ruin the show, so we're going to have some fun. Also, LPN TV is fucking hot, dude. Not only is HGX2 the fucking shit, we got our second season of Vampire the Masquerade fucking trucking through this bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might be on this week, or maybe next week, but you'll see my fucking huge face on there at some point. Yeah, go check it out, and go to lastpodcastleft.com. You're going to buy tickets for Side Stories Live when they are available this Friday, and go to at LP on the left for all of your social media fucking needs from us for some fucking reason, and then you can go to or you go again, subscribe to the YouTubes, because if you don't, we dial up that on the inside. Yeah. Last time, here are the cities for Side Stories. If you hear it, come see us. Norfolk, Virginia, Raleigh, North Carolina, Brooklyn, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Redway, California, Portland, Maine, Burlington, Vermont, Iowa City, Iowa, and Columbia, Missouri. We don't want your big city bullshit. We're coming to all these cool places. I've never been to half of these cities. I'm very fucking more than half. Don't worry, each one is more exciting than the next. I am actually, I'm most excited for Maine. Maine's awesome, and Burlington, I've had one of the most delicious beers of my life. Yeah? In Burlington. In Burlington, really? They got cheese there, too, right? I heard about the cheese. Ted Bundy. It's Ted Bundy country. I'm going to tell you all about it. Ted Bundy's the whole country. He's born in Burlington. That's where his mother had him at the orphanage. Oh, really? Yeah. Are there still orphanages? One day. That's my goal. Are they still around? Side Stories, LPTL, OPLTL. My goal is to open orphanages and flip them. Yeah. That's my whole thing. Storphinages. Storphinages. Storphinages. That's where you put all the people with sleep apnea. Well, we've got to stop this. Hail sleep apnea! I'm not going to stand up for it. Hail!