Side Stories: The Butt-Sniffer Strikes Again

There's no place to escape to, and this is the last talk on the left. Side stories? That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes. Side stories? Side stories? Yes. Side stories? Side stories? Yes. Back from vacation, and we are Rusty. That's right. Yeah, baby. Family away? You know, it's nice that when we come to work, first of all, everyone laughs. Yes. Everybody applauds, and nobody gets angry. No one ever gets upset. And the thing, the why we do this, is for the laughter. Mm-hmm. I feel like I ever, because that's all I hear everywhere I go, it's just, "Hahaha!" Everywhere I go, I do it for the cassettes. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I like to, you know, keep getting these nuggets cassettes, don't buy themselves. They don't. They take a fat man. It takes a fat man to find them. We're going nearer. And we didn't know when we talked about the nuggets, with compilations, that no dogs in space had just put out an entire special about the nuggets compilations. And I find it interesting because they're decidedly not unk. Yeah. And we are. Exactly. And Ken is kind of unk a little bit. Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, Marcus is like, "Oh, no, Ken's cool." It's like, "No, it's not." It's not. It's not. It's not. I like them, but it's not. It's cool. It is. It's cool. It's cool to us. To us, yes. Not to children. Not to anybody. No, you know who they like. Even normal people that are our age should not like Ken. You're right. You know who they like though? What? Love the Forfeit and Lindsey Clancy. That's what we're sticking up for today. Yeah. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the ever-present, ever-listening Ed Larson. Hello. Listening. Learning. Growing. Changing. I did. I went to an aquarium in the zoo. Oh, then what did you-- Did you get the allocard menu or do you do the chef's choice? No, it's really--I forgot like that panda is best braised, you know. But they said raised to completion to adult. I hate that. And I fucking hate that. All right. Because I like panda puppies too. And I don't care what anybody. I'm calling them puppies. I don't care what you call a baby panda. All right. And I'm willing, I think. Couldn't give a fucking shit. I want a pambling parogi. All right. And if I could get one. Now you're pandering to the Polish. Hey, thank God. Come on. Hey, where are you going to do this? There was a lot of news while we were gone. And a lot. Some of it's really important. And some of it is like not that important. So we got like, obviously, some big deal news. All right. KVD user. We arrested. Really arrested. Vagan found guilty for the fucking death of Tupac. KVD. Killed Tupac. Or maybe. We don't know. We know for a fact that he claimed he did. He had something to do with it. He did. And he helped orchestrate it. And he's the last one alive. And so they finally got him. And he's been bragging about it for too long. They used his podcasts against them with shows that podcasts are useful. Yeah. And he broke books. He wrote books about his own involvement. And then when he finally got to trial, the large part of the trial was him going. It was a character. Yeah. I'm a funny. I'm a character. I'm not KVD. If you say that you killed one of the most famous people in the world for 30 years. KVD said that. Eventually, someone's going to say, hey, you know, maybe we should throw you in prison for that. What you white people don't understand is that Dwayne, when he speaks, he's rapping. And when he's rapping, he's KVD and KVD is a storyteller and poet. Okay. So that's when he can't be blamed against it. But it's when he's talking. He's rapping in his mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get into it. Yeah. Let's find out what's happening. He's just like, I'm not KVD. I'm Dwayne. Yeah. And then it turns out, no, they traded them like KVD. Now, do you think he's going to be in prison next to Shug? Oh, I hope for Shug's sake. Dude, how cool would it be if the two of them had a fucking fight in the yard? I think Shug would have somebody else fight for him because, you know, his eyesight's not doing well. You know, he's got a monocle. You should get two. That's the problem. That's called glasses. No, Shug could actually can't wait to beat the fucking Shug out of KVD. And he's going to find them. I think that Shug is going to find them and then it's going to be bad for him. But also Shug Knight's a scary man. He's got that CTE for sure. Pen for the Arizona Cardinals. Very much so. And I just think that Shug Knight needs to. I'm going to say right here, he's got to relax. Yeah. And I hope that wherever he is right now, I hope he's smiling knowing that he got some justice final. Yeah, finally happened for him. Oh, you know, um, a quick little update considering what I just said. Uh, there was a, uh, the concussion institute came out and said, uh, one or four NFL players have CTE. Of course, it's official. Well, you know that now. I don't know, but now it's official. It's official official. And that's just still and everyone and they're just rocking it. And it's rocking it. So CTE is just the new fun fashion. Yeah. Well, you know, it's, it's a new season. No one seems care. No one's bringing it up. No one's saying anything. No one's saying nothing. No one's stopped anything. Still got children playing, hitting each other. Yeah, but you know, in the end, we need the CTE obviously because we need to create content for side stories. That's right. And also, these chicken wings don't sell themselves. Uh, yeah. If you're going to sit there and you're going to fucking murder millions of millions of millions of chickens every fucking day. Just so we could eat chicken wings and watch football, then you got to keep the football on. Can I also say that I'm, I'm like correct you on that? What? Chicken wings obviously very much sell themselves. I eat chicken wings no matter what I'm watching. I can eat chicken wings watching, uh, surgery footage. I can eat chicken wings watching to fucking presidential dresses. Yeah. I can eat chicken wings for sure. I can eat chicken wings at my mother's funeral. I'm gonna. I'll make sure of it. I'll buy it. That'll be what I did. You can eat chicken wings at your mother's funeral. I couldn't eat anything. Well, you never know. I'm gonna be hungry. I bought a bunch of fried chicken for your father's funeral. You did. And that's how fat we are. I'm fucking wet dude. Yeah, I did. That's what I'm saying. The chicken wings are going, they sell themselves. Yeah. The chicken wing doesn't need an NFL. My mom's funeral was pizza. It was. And fireworks. We shot him out of her. We stuff a bunch of Roman candles in her vagina and we. We positioned her up and shot him out of her and she was so happy to be a vase. She was. She couldn't believe it. No, it was after. Yeah, it was after. So we have some other big update. Lindsey Clancy trial. Miss trial. Yeah. So let's move on to the de forvid story. We're going to move on over. Before we move on, I just think in one statement. I want to say about the Lindsey Clancy trial is it's obviously a fucking disaster. It is. Every way you shake it. Every single way. And now there will be a lot more studies done on postpartum psychosis. And that's a good thing. That's the brighter side. We at least hope that is to be true, but we shall see won't we? Because they are going to go out. They are going to. Well, they're going to do some form of retrial. I'm hoping that there is more talk about postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis in the news and more research done. And they better do it. Why not? Why would they do it? Because they don't care about themselves. Yes, city. They don't like a little of the latest. They don't really camp with the latest. But you know, when it comes down to it, I wish her well. So now we de forvid is out of illoy. You've got a lawyer. De forvid is absolutely fucked. He's like, man, he couldn't be more fucked. De forvid is going to. He has to play. Dude, some fucking private public defender is like. What do I got to do? Is it David? No, let me ask you this question. If your name is David, why don't you spell it, David? All right. Now, dude, you'll want me to call you a David? You want me to call you a Dave? Oh, man. Hey, you go by Dave. You go by Davey. It's a little Davey guy going a little Davey. Huh? The problem with the forvid is he's got no one to roll over on. No, he's got no, because he did it. Yeah. Because he did it. And he's going to go to fucking jail for it. And he's going to very much go to jail. And he's going to sit. Oh, my God. What he's going to do is verse. It's going to be fucking awesome. That's going to be amazing. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Didn't do it. Didn't do it. Like they're all saying it. Or Kelly comes in. Immediately just going. Pay pay and a crime. Pay pay. I know crime. It comes from God. It's a god liquid. This is the after after after after after after party. I can't wait. I can't wait for this album. And it's going to be really, really good. You know who the forvid needs? Who? Little Scroots. All right. So this is something you briefly told me about. Tell me about the little Scrooks. I want to bring this up because we were on vacation. We were on vacation. Now we took my mother to Ireland. All right. Because that was the whole thing. I'm a good son. You're a good son. You did it. And she begged. She was always like. Okay. What's her whole thing is that. She didn't beg. She did it in a fun Italian Polish way of saying. I guess I'll tie before going to Europe. And so what we did was we got her to Europe. That's amazing. You know. So we got her to Europe. We went to Dublin. discovered in Dublin is that there's something happening. And I want to hear from our Irish listeners, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-L-G-M-L.com. I want to hear your stories, because I experienced firsthand the new phenomenon that's happening in Dublin called either Lil Scumbags or Scroats. That got coagthera also called to me, which is packs of boys, like 11 to 12 years old, attacking people on the street. Well, a group of 12 year old boys stabbed a woman to death the week before that we arrived there. - Oh my God. - Right, they stabbed a woman to death. - Jesus. - And then, Natalie and I were walking, and out of nowhere we got straight up surrounded by children. We did a little pub tour. We left our family so we can have an adult time. So we went to go drink somewhere, and we were surrounded by children. And the first thing that did was going, "Shay's with Yamanne!" "Shay's with Yamanne!" Like, literally bullying me. - Yeah, they're trying to get you to fight them, so you can go to jail, and they won't. - They can't jump on you and beat the fucking piss out of you. - Yeah, I know. It takes like 10, 12 year olds to come here. - It's like Jim Brown at the end of Mars attacks. - Yes. - You have to overcome them and go, "Oh, mall." - Well, you know what I'm that fun. - He did. - I would also talk, but I asked fellow people in Ireland at the time when we were in Dublin, I was asking people like, "What do you do about the Lil Scumbags?" And they're like, "There's a time honored way of handling the Lil Scumbag." You go, "Get out of here, you fucking prick!" (laughing) - He was like, "That's it?" They're like, "Yeah?" So tell them to get the fuck out of there, you call them a prick, you call them, and they said a bunch of other words. - Yeah, so you and Natalie, you're out, you escape from the family, all right? You're having a nice night. You're dressed like you and Natalie dressed. I imagine she looked great, and you had some blouse on. - I looked normal. - Yeah, oh, you did. - Yeah, I just put it down shirt on. - It buttoned down shirt, but it was big and flowy. It's nothing available in Dublin. - No, not from what, not from what I wear. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, everything has to be dismoved. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, it has to be, you know. - You are clearly from out of town. - Oh, very much so. - Oh, I'm a Los Angeles human being now everywhere I go. - And you famously have a short temper. - Yeah, your doctor has said so. - Now, fuck you. - Did, oh. (laughing) - How did you deal in this situation? - I mean, were you like, were you like, should I fight these kids? - At first, I was like, I kind of was trying to ignore 'em, and then I kind of-- - 'Cause he was kind of funny. - Oh, no, I laughed. Then I laughed, and so they kind of got more involved with me. Like, as I was laughing, they were trying to circle this more, and then Natalie's like, just fucking don't even react. - Just don't react. - She's correct. - That's not what they, that's what they want. - 'Cause it was, yeah, 'cause like afterwards, truly, I did not have an angry reaction. Because I was like, it's child that's objectively funny. - One of those could have been the old lady killer. - I know, oh, I know. But they killed them mostly, then while I was asking a young lady that was our bartender who was Asian, who had come in from downtown, and she said, they really do mostly save their violent attacks for Asian women. - Really? - They were like, oh, interesting, 'cause it took Ganesha and one of them was stabbed to death. - Wow. - By a bunch of 12 year olds. - Yeah, it's really intense. Because then I asked the guy, we took a private, we stopped over in London, and then we went to Dublin, and then we went from there, and so when we stopped in London, we did a Jack the Ripper tour. - Oh, that's nice. - And truly one of my favorite things that happened. - Oh my God. - What's with my first for my mother? - I was like, how we wanted to, 'cause I wanted to see where they killed the horse. - Yeah, yeah, she was like, so the horse slept here. How big were the horse? And so no, we went, and we went to White Chapel, and we found a man that would do, 'cause I specifically said, as I wanna do the walk, I wanna walk from every one of the victim points. You can see as far as Jack the Ripper went, right? So we went all the way through, and our lovely guide was a very nice man, who kept saying stuff, 'cause he said that he was previously a police officer, and he was lovely, and he was talking about health, 'cause he kept saying, I'm sorry for the neighborhood, and we're like, it's just Indian people. And he was like, I'm so sorry. You'll have to, this is the more serious side of London. I was like, it's just Indian people, guys. It's fucking chill out. I don't know. - For Los Angeles. - But you guys all lost your fucking mind. And so he gets out of the car, he's like, so frightened. Everyone's afraid. And so we're driving around, and he's taking us through all these, through White Chapel. And at some point, I just kinda ask him. I was like, so with things like those little scroats and scumbags and all the types of lot of knife crimes, a lot of terrorism happening in the UK and in Ireland, and I wanted to ask like, hey, so it's like, so is cops. Like, what do you do with your guns? He's like, you see, all I need is my battle. And the most powerful weapon that a police officer can use, his voice. - Oh yeah. - And it's like, what does that mean? He's like, this, go away. (laughs) Go away. - I understand, though. I do, it does work. And people respect, I've yelled at cars and they've stopped. If you get, if you get in there, good enough. - I have to go to church. - It's like, but then I ask him about, so what do I do if they attack you with a knife? And he's like, oh, I show the underside of your hands. The outside, the top of your hands. Because with this, when I'm moving like this, and he moves his arms and the wax on, wax off, like they don't know where I'll go. And when the knife comes, it'll stop me in the front of my hand. I'm like, that doesn't do anything. And then he was just like, and then also to avert attack. I enter into my defensive crouch. And so he showed this thing where he puts his hands over his head and he gets into a crouch. He's like, and then they are forced to only beat upon my back and shuttles us and beat upon the forearms. He's like, beat upon the top of my head. I was like, you're talking about giving up. (laughing) - You heard it. - So one time I was surrounded by five ruffians. And I entered into my, I don't even think of him to give you in the kid. - No, he can't even imagine. That's unfair. That's unfair. Play, that's an ugly hit. And so we were like, what are you talking about? And he said, he gets into his crouch. And he was like, one time five or six ruffians surrounded me. And as I entered into my defensive crouch, they beat upon my back and my shoulders until they were too tired. And then they left me alone. He's like, you're, that's the part of the puzzle. - He won the fight. - Yes. (laughing) - You just crouched. And they beat the shit out of you. (laughing) - 'Cause they got tired. (laughing) - That's so, so. - Oh, well, maybe laugh. But yeah, they don't kill people over there like that. - Do you, I do think he would have handled some scroats. - Honestly, I think that he would have done with the stern talking to and he would have made sure they didn't get a lollipop at the barbershop. - Yeah. (laughing) - God fucking knows, man. So my break, I spent the whole thing. I watched all of monsters of God immediately. - It's really good. - And it was so good. I was like, dental surgery and I was like, all right, let's fucking, let's monsters of God it up. I'm on pills, let's rock. And it was wonderful. It was a great show. Please watch monsters of God on HBO. It's so much fun. But the thing is, I've got so excited because they sold most of the animals. A lot of the animals are sold to the San Diego Zoo. - Oh dude, they're also, every zoo is complicit. - Every single zoo in America had bought fucking multiple animals from these smugglers. - I had no idea that they just put in a zoo case. - And there was nothing they could do about it. Because they sold a lot of them to the national zoo in Washington, New York City. - Oh yeah, if they all touch, if they touch any one of the zoos, they're gonna have to go after all of the zoos. - And they go after the Smithsonian. You know, you can't be fucking with that shit. So they're like, they just like, let it all go. They got the one bad guy from the San Diego Zoo. 'Cause San Diego Zoo, they said, took in like 300 animals from this guy. And so they got like that guy and he was arrested and they gave him like, fucking nothing. Like, they don't arrest. - They don't arrest. - The guy in that first episode, Hank Monk. - Yeah, something like that. - Which Hank, what's his name, Hank? - Hanks or something. - Whatever it is, he's a fucking piece of shit. - When you keep going, he's gonna be like, the best mort, Hank Bolt. Yeah, that's a thing. - He's a fucking piece of shit. - And when you just kill all these reptiles, it's really bad. - Where do you get to the guy from Malaysia? - Oh God. - Yeah, Anson, Anson, the treat the people real great. I wonder how the fucking no reptiles are treated. - Dude, this shit hole, the whole thing comes down and even comes back to the cops. It's a fucking perfectly done story. These guys, these guys don't disappoint. Tiger King, Chimp Crazy, Monsters of God. - People are fucking rock. - I guess they all say the same thing that exotic animals, not only attract people that want to keep them, or obviously nuts. In a way, I do understand, we know in our community, we have a lot of snake owners, we have a lot of reptile owners, we have a lot of, so there is done responsibly. It's a cool thing. - It's awesome. - Yeah. - It's just interesting that exotic animals have this sort of, obviously, criminals use them as like, both bartering chips and as sort of like, fun things to have in their house. So like drug lords use them as sort of like, fun things to have. We see zoos, use them, zoos, use them. As a way to put butts and seats, and people are fascinated with seeing these reptiles. And I understand they're beautiful, they're mysterious, they're interesting, and I had no idea that they could pack so well. - Yeah, no, dude, people fucking hide them and all kinds of shit. Some lady got caught a couple of weeks ago hiding two turtles in her bazaar. - Hot. (laughing) - She was just in a lagoon for too long. (laughing) - Yeah, I mean, they just had them. They were both like just chewing on her nipples. - Just like in love and life. - Oh man, but so when I went to the San Diego Zoo, I'm like, okay, I gotta ask about this shit. I gotta get to the bottom of this. This is fucking crazy. This is, you know, technically my job. And so I get, I'm walking around the zoo. I take a private tour. You know, I like went and got the special tour. - Oh yeah. - And I started asking, by the end of the tour, you know, I figured they'd warm up to me. And I'm like, so like, what about the monsters it got? And they fucking acted like the show didn't exist. - Of course. - And they had no idea. idea that I was like, I know you really can't talk about it, but there's just still any of those animals. Because it was 30 years ago. Yeah, yeah, they're all dead. The guys have been, yeah, I think they're all dead, but some reptiles live forever. If it, if it was any of those turtles, the turtles would have been. But then it's also weird because Hank Malt does take like sort of credit for how many different pythons they, they quote unquote, save, because they brought some do, zoos that successfully bred them, but it still doesn't matter because you've got them only. These are the guys who are respond like directly responsible for what's going on in Florida. South Florida being overrun with fucking lizards and snakes and shit like that. The problem is bringing predatory species from other parts of the world to other places that are highly controlled by their own predatory species and then just let them go. And also anything could live in Florida, anything can, anything could live there. Well, it's just, it's made for it. So yeah, amazing. But yeah, so big suggestion. Go watch that show. Fascinating. It is very depressing. If you, you know, I will say that it is very depressing. There's a lot of dead lizards, a lot of dead lizards, a lot of dead, they may not really sad. It made Julie really sad. And then by the third episode, she's like, is it ready yet? Is it on? And I was like, I got your fucking ass. Oh my God, dude. At the zoo. I can't believe I forgot to tell you about this fucking dude. I've watched them. So I'm walking around. We're going to the binobo cage. Okay. I'm sorry. It's not a cage. And so we're at the binobo enclosure. And this lady's talking about how smart binobos are. And then right against the window is like a lady binobo sitting like this while this dude binobo is just fucking out, just fucking wicked and licking it and sucking it. She's like, you know, the, the binobos, they say are very advanced species. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so advanced. I get my pussy. Just getting fucking right. This is my fucking job. You fucking pieces of shit. Quit looking at me. Quit looking at me. Look, I'm trying to get my fucking, my gun's fucking lunch. Hey, man. God bless. God bless. They're the one we're getting. You're going to their home. Yeah. No, no, no. That's her living room. I was a visitor. You were a visitor. I was a visitor. You should be needing her pussy. You're right. But I didn't pay enough. Yeah. That's next. Bye from North way. Speaking of platinum members of the local jail, the biggest update this week. Oh, yes. Is that our streets are not safe. And even less so are women's butts. Hmm. Calise Crouter, also known as the Burbank Butt Sniffer. Struck again. Back on the street. You know, they keep releasing them. They keep fucking releasing them. And this time he went to a Marshall because the crime isn't intense enough to lock him up. There is it. They need to like write new law. Something has to be done. Like something has to be done. You're literally now. This is year three of him sniffing butts. Okay. Against women's will. It's now national news. Oh, yes. Very much so. Yeah. Yes. Uh, he likes to get down on all fours. That's his thing. One of inches, slowly towards butts, sniffs at the butts. He was at the big save this time. It looks like it. It was the big save. He's also been at the Marshalls. They say I guess he did it at both. Yeah. He's at the Marshalls. There was also there was when someone when it started the viral video that got famous from him sniffing butts at a Barnes and Noble, which shows at least he's a reader. Yeah. Uh, you know, because as we know, a lot of people have been making jokes due to his appearance, he's very shrek-like in appearance. He's not fat. He's just got the head. He's got shrek's head. He has the same exact shrek formation. He's better shoelaces. He looks like at least a tiny shoe. Well, it's cool. He needs velcro. He needs velcro. Yeah. Yeah. You know what it is? Is that we've also joke about the fact that he can hear farts. Yeah. From 25 yards. Right? He can really hear them. We now know the signs. He's just come out saying that they believe that women's farts are worse than men. Yes. There is a report that came out, um, in vice, uh, last year, actually, but it's just getting to us now. Um, there, there's scientific findings that women have a stinkier farts than men, which I don't believe that science. It's across the board is what they're saying. If you look at the medium farts smell of women versus men, women's farts, I would say are probably worse because they hide them more. They said, they said it's a higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide because we let our farts out slowly throughout the day because I don't hide it. I fart. And when I have to fart, as soon as Henry leaves the office, I'm farting that bitch out. I fart when I awaken, I, but I also leave the room now. I leave the room to fart in front of my wife. I tried. I do. I try not to just fart in front of her. If she's like a sleep. Oh, yeah. No, I check to see if she's asleep. She's asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go back to sleep. Shut up. Go back to sleep. The farts of our women seem to be drawing the butts kniffer out of his cage. And I'm not trying to get this study. I know he did. If he wrote the study now, what do we do? If he wrote the study. He's a scientist. Oh, then that's, he's Mr. Free, if he, if he, if he's a scientist, he's Mr. Free. He's a villain because then he's just like, I simply must discover the sauce. I simply must get to the Netherlands. You don't feel like I must go, where is the guys there definitely say a poo poo. I'm searching for the poo poo op of, of marshals. The poo poo op of marshals are somewhere deep inside the butt of this woman that is working secure. I was talking to someone about it. They're like, how does he get caught? How do people know that he's sniffing butts? I'm like, it's pretty clear. Like, how? Like, well, it's like, you know, like on a cartoon, he's like walking into the snow. No, when he was like, it's like a pie on a windowset. He's like, you'll be there. You float across the marshals, you know, you know, but now he seems that he's being held without bail. They have to. I don't know, dude. They've got to do something. I don't know. They know. The most free of funding, dude. I've ever seen. They, he's a registered sex offender. So now I have a time he goes and sex offender comes from a different thing. It comes from like when he actually like touched somebody. He's got other charges off. Yeah, I know. He gets the whole I'm not touching you. He broke it in the air. I'm not touching anything. Yeah, he's a bad guy. He's a big Tom. He's all, he's everything awful. He's learning how to break all the rules without fully breaking the rules like the president of the United States. He is like a guy that really knows, but I don't understand. Like, we cover, I show that one video, it turned out to be more of a butt liquor. See butt liquors I get. Well, yeah. Yeah. I've been there to the place. Butt liquors. That's great. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know what you're saying. Yeah. I could think about looking butts. Yeah. Sure. My sacred wife's. Yeah. Right. And I do that. But that's also different. All right. That's making love. Yeah. That's all it's a whole. This is sniffing butts, which is to me the weirdest one of all because I feel like of all of them, of all the crimes, it's easy to get a proxy here that you could buy women's leggings. You could buy women's underwear. You can buy soiled things that smell like things. I can guarantee that butt sniffer goes around and offers a woman at a laundromat, 250 bucks or some more underwear. She's just going to give it to him. Yeah, he doesn't have money. But he should work on that. He should work on that. He should get a better job and become more responsible human being. You're right. Sniff and bus. Can we correctly castrate him his nose? We could put a face mask on him. Oh, can we cut his sense of smell off? No, I think we got a plug out allowed to we have to use to like the use for a what the hearing when you put it for for a Concert. Yeah, like a ear thing. So we got to put up his nose. No, no, no, no, no, no, cement. There's something he needs a no he needs like a year mandated nose plug or again, this yeah, I think a gland removal. Maybe they could just like chop off like the scent part. No, it means that happened. It's like some crazy chick needs to be like, Oh, you fucking sniff my button that she needs to cut it off in the moment and she'll be fine. Cut off his own her butt. No, it's no. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, no, leave the butt alone. Oh, you like stiff and bust. No, no, no, no, no, no, not your butt. Well, I certainly hope he changes his ways. Also, I'm putting this out there. I don't think there's any chick out there in the world. I'm being sexist. I'm going to fuck that can fart stink. You're the main. I know that for a fact. I don't think that any bitches can fart like I can. We should go to the medium because like I don't want to be antagonistic, but fuck that shit. But I don't think my Farts smell nearly as bad as your Farts. No, minor special. Yeah, no, there's something dying in me. Yeah, it's your hope. It's dreams a little bit about it, but that's the most important criminal of the week. Yeah, you know, and he except for this next criminal, which I am just like this is one of those like side story stories that kind of got handed to us on a fucking big old bladder. Yeah, I think that we should do first announcing a game show. It's a single easiest job on the face of the planet. It really, it's like you have to say. - 40 words a week? - It is that is the job. - You have to be such a useless human being except for speaking. I have no idea how you just get this job. Never mind, keep this job. And have this job be your only job for 20 years, right? We now know that the guy that was the Wheel of Fortune announcer. - Jim Thornton. - Did I name Jim Thornton? - Go ahead. - Never heard of this guy before, right? - I didn't know what this fucking idiot was before. - How would you know who the fuck the announcer is for Wheel of Fortune? - No, unless you're-- - Don't be part of us, the only famous announcer. - I will say, no, 'cause I used to have a good one and prices right used to have a good one. What's his name? I forgot what his name was. They used to have a good one. - Exactly. - And then this guy, exactly. Jim Thornton, if you're like unemployed or if you're stationed in the military or if you're in an insane asylum, you might know Wheel of Fortune really well. You might be a huge fan of this of these guys. - Right? Yeah, 'cause Howard Cosell-- - They know these guys don't count. These are like sports announcers. - Those are like-- - Marvel. - Marvel. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Game show announcers. - Yeah, not TV. 'Cause TV, yeah, 'cause that's, you know, you can't put this guy in a Howard Cosell, you know, like, yeah, yeah, Rod Roddy. That's the guy. - That's the guy. That's who he is. - That's the good guy. - Rod Roddy's awesome. - Come on, Rod Roddy. - Like that guy, right? - No one looking to Rod Roddy. Just let me keep-- - I can Rod Roddy. - Please. - He's probably got some skeletons. - Let's face it. - Well, he's dead now. So I think that those skeletons are good and covered and up in dirt. - Rod Roddy's like dick, dicky. - Yep. - Yeah. - Cockers. - Yeah, no, it's bad. It gives you bad edge. - So what Jim Thornton do? - So he was on a plane. - Okay. - In his Wheel of Fortune swag jacket on a chat room called lifeline.net. Where it's like it's lifeline. It's some ridiculous like lifeline.chat. - Okay. - In which they were discussing it. Apparently it was a website in a chat room completely filled with pedophiles, fantasizing about all the various things that they wanted to do to boys and girls. And he was in that chat for 57 minutes on a plane in coach. - Is it in coach? - Or at least maybe Delta Comfort. - It's American. - Does American have comfort? - They do. They do. It's called like, I want to say they call like Abu Ghraib or they have all the thing that they, there's a whole section where it's like more room. It's called like, it's called Fatty Zone. The Fatty Zone. And so I'm pretty certain. I love the Fatty Zone. And so he was just on this chat bot, right? So this chat room, 57 minutes chatting. He said he did nothing wrong. He gets off the plane. - Why do people do nothing wrong? - So, well, he's saying in his mind, he was-- - It's a pedophile chat group. - Yes. So, but what Jim Thornton claimed he did regularly is that he would go to a thing called chat.998lifeline.org entirely different website. - So they don't sponsor the show? - No, not anymore. I, because I just keep calling for suicides. And that's like, that's just again, that's just on me. That's my personal life, okay? I do the opposite of Jim Thornton. Where Jim Thornton said that he had a family number come and suicide. So he would go into these chat rooms for suicide. People that were having suicide ideation. And he'd talk them down. And that was a little thing that he did every day. He was like a part of his life. - That's so much better than 98. - Oh, yes, Eddie. And because like, again, I'm always going there and say, take more with you. You know, like get in there if I can go get more. Get more. Oh, why don't you do that on a boat? - No, why don't you do that in an elevator filled with people? You know, like something like that. But he said that that's what he would normally spend his days and the key smell. - Noble. - Noble. It's noble. It's something a good man does. - Definitely. And so he told the police, all of this is a big Ole Miss understanding. Nobody knows what they're talking about. They just saw my screen and they just decided that I was talking nasty, right? And the police, I guess they took him at his word because they couldn't figure out probably in that moment how to do it. You need to warrant to get the laptop. So you need to first, you have to do a lot of different stuff before you can even get at it to search and all this kind of things. So I'm certain they're like, "Okay, 'cause they all have weird screen names." Well, it takes, oh, you have to set it all up. It's a whole investigation. And so they had to go look at it. They send all the stuff forward to Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune kind of puts them on hold. They're like, we're going to take a look at ourselves. He's immediately fired. So you're like, okay, so that doesn't look good. See, what's happened is that TMZ, which is legitimately, one of the, they're horrific. Hey, if not the single best news source on the face of the planet currently. I can't stress enough how much I hate them and how much I rely on them. Mm-hmm, it is true. So he came out and he said, he insisted that the, so he said, "Live line dot chat was not, "it's not unlawful. "There's no child pornography on the site. "And there's no pedophilic content on the site." And his lawyer. Yes, Jim Thornton came out and said, you know, the client, his lawyer came out and said that he's never downloaded or consumed child pornography or child CCM as CCM, whether on the commercial flight in May or any other time. But the thing was, again, is we now have the actual screens that he was, which is fascinating, is about the screens of what he actually said. And we now know that this is to be true. So he, this is, this is, this is, this is like, it's pretty funny in a way. Yeah, his username is Nicholas B77. Yeah, he changed his, his little name here, right? And so this is the kind of what he said. Someone was asking, wait, you're on a plane right now or someone sees this. All right, so first thing is, and we pretty certain is, and we goes by the name Nicholas B77. During the dialogue, this is from the, this is from Page Six, right? So this is where we're at now. This is, so lifeline.chat is a website which purportedly claims to offer mental health support to individuals with pedophelic thoughts. Now is this dark web or is this regular web? I have no idea. Okay, it's just regular web. I think you can just go on it, right? I just typed it in, it was just there. Oh, great. Oh, good. You put it in the computer. I had to see what it was. We research. We know it's fine. It's fine. I didn't do it. During the dialogue, Rob did it. So here we go, it's the producer. So Nicholas B77, this is Jim Thornton's account. He said straight up, he made an innocuous comment and you could see up top. How Gordon Corral is quote, "Golden Corral is a nice hangout for kids." And I'll tell you, I saw a couple of cute boys and a hot little girl while dining there the day before. And he said, "Oh, it was an all you can eat, boy, hey." So I don't know how this is incurred. I guess people are just like, "You go, girl." So someone just goes like, "Whoa, hey to second." And I don't know where he just wrote, "It's crazy I'm doing a lifeline from the sky." When someone replied, "Wait, you're on a plane right now. What if someone sees?" User Nicholas B77 wrote back, "Yes, exactly. What if someone sees a random sequence of lines on a screen?" "I love it. I hide the part that says lifeline." So it's just a few lines. It's a big middle finger to dumb man who takes away every other enjoyable activity we see else have. Also, lifeline is the only thing that isn't incriminating. Yes. Word-wise, in this. Oh, dude, you're hiding the one thing that's happening. Well, it's kind of interesting because the website itself is not illegal, right? It's not illegal. It's just what they talk about. It's a forum. It's a forum. And so he can do all this up. So Nicholas, and so someone just said, "I mean, I guess it's not like you're doing anything illegal." LOL. Nicholas B77 responds, "Wait a second. I'll fire up boy moment and start looking at the galleries." He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he. Now, so he knows a child porn website by name. Yeah, just by riffing. He's just, and they're all like, "Whoa." And someone warned them then, "Hey, you don't want to be like the guy that got arrested getting off the tube because he had CPS' phone wallpaper." Nicholas B77 said assuredly, "Yeah, all right." I mean, truly, the fact that I don't do any of that stuff makes me say, "Fuck it, free speech, baby." Now, you know, it's crazy at one point. He says, "Burbank, baby." Well, someone asks, "Where do you live?" And he names Burbank. He knows that's where the Golden Crow was where he goes to watch the boy fae. And the butth sniffer. He, like, might have been in the same room as the butth sniffer at some point. Oh, my God. This is, like, the Joker meeting up with fucking talent. That's the thing. This is our neighborhood. The butth sniffer is at least going after full grown women. This is becoming a fucking Burbank podcast. Really is, buddy. He'd really fucking is. But this guy, I'm using immediately fired. I just feel like, you know what it is? It's the pride in his voice. That's what I don't like. I don't like the, he is, well, his wife, Suthorke, they've been together for 35 years. She's quite the boy fae. Oh, she really is quite the boy fae. Jim Thornton said he left that page and he hasn't visited since. Of course. Well, it's because he says he knew what it was, right? And then his wife just straight up to say, according to Hart, no, I would know. This is his attorney. And Courtney Owlson Hart, this is Jim Thornton's wife. He is an active and in suicide prevention at advocacy. He was quote, misdirected to a forum with a similar URL, the forum lifeline.chat by an acquaintance. in the suicide prevention space. So we throw in this on Vanna. When Jim Thornton shares one, so it's like, he can ask him about this. And like this idea, it's like, it's not unlawful to the website. No unlawful child porn or other pedophile content. And it's just, it is just what they talk about and what they love. - Yeah, that's what they enjoy. - Yeah. - Okay, so we have another situation where it's technically not a crime, I guess? - No, I mean, I don't know what it is. It's not great. It seems like it's like an unmoderated like chat where they're supposed to like help each other. But then it just ends up being a place where they just do bad things together. - The reason why it is an unmoderated blank chat like that is so they can talk nasty things in it. So it seems to be not, not, it seems to not be a child porn website, but it is in fact, it is a network. - Yeah, you know, there is like a community of non-acting pedophiles who like get together and have meetings, which I guess is good. Is that the, oh, they have the one. It's the, what's it the, the GOP convention? - Yeah, and so these guys go, but these are, his whole, it's very interesting 'cause it's not even just about non-practicing pedophiles. It's how they get their way towards the stuff. So normally a lot of, a lot of CP and CSAM is shared by WhatsApp messages. But it's literally text to text. And also I saw a really fucking inappropriate thing that I didn't understand was that they will give money to a charity and they get all the envelopes from a charity, like various like international groups, and then they'll just use the envelopes. - Oh. - And put CSAM in them and mail it. - So it looks like, like material from a charity. - Oh my God. - It's very sneaky. - They have to be. - I'm not, but not Jim Thorke. - No, certainly not. - He's proud about it, he's proud and he's out. - I'm out. - Yeah, by a love of the family. - He was that group Wi-Fi. - Boom. - You know, at least it shows you you, just don't, uh, I don't know, man, I don't know, buddy. - I don't know, man. I think that he's got to go away. - How's the chat room looking, Rob? I'm not in the chat room, you only look the one time. - I just, I didn't even open the chat. - He only looked the one time, he only was still, I wanted to see if it was still there and it got shut down. - Jim and Jim Thorke had to investigate the website for about 57 minutes in order for them to know. - Jim Thorke is a hero. - He's a hero. - Exactly what happened to Pete Townsend. - It's just what happened to Pete Townsend. - Oh, that's why I forgot about that. - Well, it's because he, he, he's, because let's just say Pete Townsend is not really on the tip of the tongue of modern pop culture. - Who? - Exactly. (laughing) - Fuckers, you fucking idiots. (laughing) - You know, 'cause like, yeah, I'm not, I'm not supporting Peter Townsend. I don't even know all the details. He won't, I'm not. - But I'm told again. - Yeah, he won't. (laughing) - I thought that he just lit the way he was. I thought the grown men would lit the way he was. - He only likes to have sex and teenage wastelines. (laughing) - Teenage wastelines. Teenage wastelines. - Um, what else is happening? - Yeah, we got, we got, we got the, all right, now this story is also fucked. - Here's another fucked up story. And I wanna get your reaction on this story. - Oh, I will say also, the speaking of, I did get, I have been receiving many reactions from people when I've been asking for them and they've been awesome. When you guys send me reactions, like even the lot of the stuff I learned through the Lindsey Clancy trial reactions ends up out of the fact, like truly, like, thank you. - Oh, thank you. - Always send us great stuff. - Good stuff. - Yeah. - All right, this next one is another one of those. So this, this story came across my desk. It is not really all the way out there and I'm not quite certain what's going on, but I wanna know if you have any personal connections to this. - Oh, okay. - So this comes out of Philadelphia. A guy by the name of Raymond RC Horsh. That was a, I guess he was a pornographer. He made erotic art. He made a lot of sadomasochistic pictures and stuff, which is, again, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's all like getting to a weird nepulous area. And this guy kind of had a life devoted to kind of like the seedier side of the world. He was arrested several times. He was arrested for drug trafficking. He was arrested for counterfeiting. Which to me are just fun jo, those are fun crimes. - Yeah, you know, but he, it seems he might have been a multiple murder or if not a serial killer. So this is a, this story is developing. His son. So he died. So RC Horsh, the full disclosure, he died in 2025. - Okay. - He died in his 80s. He died of a pulmonary embolism. And his son, who is legitimately looks like a villain out of a Paul Verhoeven movie, was arrested, living in this old house that they all shared together in the Kensington area. Now, Philly, and those of you don't know, Kensington's kind of fucked up. Kensington's super, it's a rough neighborhood. - Yeah. - So they kind of worked, I want to say sort of like, out of the way, but a lot of people didn't even know what was going on in that house. And so this guy was a, the son was arrested. What they believe was like, a lot of different, like, they said weird liquids, weird materials, stuff that they didn't recognize in the house and drugs. Like they had a bunch of weird, like, do you know why they even went to the house? - It was a call. So there was the, they are scouring the sewers beneath the Philadelphia house. The house that R.C. Horses died in. - Okay. - Because they were looking for the, for information on two missing women that were last heard of connected to this address. Eugene Horses was arrested on the, they said that he collected a trove of hazardous chemicals along with this some other evidence. So they basically came and they believed that he was also had drugs in the house. - So if I get this correct here. - He got, this is still very much developing, of course. But so was he trying to like dispose of the evidence his father left behind? - Essentially, it seemed like he was doing that. And so a note that was found on a drum set up and a threat, there's like a little gallon drum inside the house that said, "Oh, not like fun drums, like a drum, like a Jeffrey Dahmer drum." - Jeffrey Dahmer, that is a fun drum, like that drum. I thought you meant like a fun drum, like, "Petowns and Strums." - No, that's Keith Boone. - He's a guitarist. - He's next to Drums. - So acting on emotion, according to this note that was found, acting on emotion is where problems occur. What I don't think I told you was the first time it was planned ahead of time. The threat was made before you know who came over. And I already had a two-foot zip time, my pocket, and a drum set up. I had been ready and waiting. And a damn sure showed no hesitation. And it was fun. So he might have been hiding all of this stuff. So all of this investigation ham, or so this is when it started. So Eugene Horsh was fighting with his girlfriend in a, it was overheard in a, you at a park. He was an outside of Independence Hall, a park ranger, overheard an argument where he was saying the woman was heard saying, "Oh my God, you're gonna hurt me." And the guy got involved. He checked on them. And then law enforcement agencies came. They checked on them. And they got, the woman had a fake ID. And so they took the fake ID. They did sort of look like her, but it didn't. And they looked at it. And they realized it was the name of one of the missing women that had been missing for a bunch of years. - So it gave her the ID, 'cause she kind of looked like one of the checks he killed. - Yes. - And so she-- - This is an insane story. - Dude, this story's fucking huge. That's why it's like the very, very beginning of it. And so she told police that she had used these ID because she was trying to get away from some other arrest warrant. Obviously she had been in a bit of trouble before. But she said, "I don't know this missing lady, but I'm pretty certain one of those falkers did something to her." So the cops, you kind of like fled on them. They led, they were led to the felon's house where they found all these weird stuff. So they found like it was 120 pieces of ballistic evidence, narcotics disturbing unsigned, the disturbing unsigned letter. And also there was another talking about all this weird stuff talking about Ted Bundy, blah, blah, blah. He was coughed on firearms and drug charges. And so they're still kind of figuring out all of this of the chemicals. But Eugene came forward and said, "All this other stuff belongs to my fucking dad." Cut, too, almost a year later. They now know for a fact that he killed people. - Eugene? - R.C., the father. So R.C. Horsesley found what seems to be one of the first recorded actual evidence of a snuff film in terms of, well, it's a woman being murdered on tape. It makes it a snuff film as if it was sold profit, right? We don't know if he did that or not because he was doing that. He was doing a lot of work for pornography. Did he make it or did he buy it? - No, he's in it. - He's in it. Strangling a woman to death. - Okay, so he is the co-star. - He is the star of it. And so now it's about whether or not he actually sold this stuff and this mystery is just getting bigger and bigger and bigger. They're connecting him right now. It's like, I wanna say, as of this listening on what I've read, it's at like three to four bodies. Okay, and they're looking for evidence of this and it could be way more. And it could be a huge, this could be a- - It's gonna be a house of horrors. - Yeah, this is gonna be a real episode. - And the worst part about this guy is that he looks so evil. And in his- - He looks evil. He looks like a fun bad guy in a movie. - I don't know, I hate that he looks kind of like fun. - You know what he does is that he doesn't disservice to other guys that look evil, but are ready. really, really nice because like a lot of the guys that I know are the most evil looking crazy. It's looking mother fuckers. You know, Lord humongous. Yeah. Truly the nicest man on the face of the planet like lords and incredible artists go some order, which is a birthday. He's doing a bunch of great stuff, but he's the sweetest, nicest man in the whole world. But he himself is frightening. Yeah. Right. The RC horse does bad things. We're panda shirts. Right. Scared to look. Scary to look at. Yes. Because maybe the most villainous mugshot I've ever seen. Besides Tammy Hall, but he's cute. He's making a fun, cute, winky eye, or is he just a form tonight? I think it's cute. No, it's like he's doing that on purpose. And that was for his drug charging zoo when he got caught with weed. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he was having fun. He was being cool then. And so he was kind of, he was kind of a fun, but he did a bunch of horrible stuff. He's also maybe connected to one of his, his wife went missing. He also had a one, one wife for a long time. They got divorced. Another wife and him. They, she went missing. So they believe it. They, she's also on the list. This story is. The guy who went all those fucking weird bodies in this fucking basement, that ain't far from there. I know. That guy wasn't in Philly. Yeah. He was. Oh, the guy that we covered. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Philly, you know what it is interesting about all this part of the world is that I love all of these really into, I know so many awesome, intense artists and photographers and people like and models and stuff that kind of live in this world and are in this very, very part of the world. So like, I feel bad that these guys are corrupting it because I love weirdos with weird stuff, weirdos with weird stuff for my favorite people. I'm one. Yeah. So it's like, I want to, I want to support weirdos with weird stuff. Yeah, but you can't take it to the next level. I know, but that's, you can't just start making the stuff, guys. No. Yeah. You can't make the stuff. Don't, yeah. Don't watch the stuff. Yeah. There's a difference. There's, you know, there's always go watch horror movies. There's another guy over in the, in, I want to say it's in Wisconsin, it's an Ed Gaines super fan. He was stalking a woman for 13 years and eventually he got arrested and they found like all this kind of stuff in his house. He had like, you know, he was obsessed with this woman. They arrested her for stalking. He had a representative of her on a blife-sized doll, like one of those giant silicone dolls that had a spike choker on it and they put a wig that looked just like her, but then he put a picture of her on the wall so he could fuck her while he's looking at the picture of her on the wall. And then he had a piece of, he's had a jerry at a piece of John Wayne Gacy's brain, but I think somebody fucking ripped him off. Yeah. Someone stole, yeah, yeah. It's like people who sell you like pouches of Jerry Garcia's ashes getting me somebody right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he had a bunch of other bad stuff. Man. One friend that did have some tangential relationship to him because we've all done, we've been saying this for years, photographers are, photographers are never photographers unless they're in magazines. What are you talking about? A photographer telling you, "Hey, come over my house, I want to do some art shots." How's it? Mendy Tucker's a photographer. That's what I mean. Yeah. Unless you're an actual capital P photographer. If the guy just has an Instagram page, he's not, you just, just make sure you got somebody with you. Yeah. Make sure you always got somebody with you. I've always asked all my model friends about what they do. And they all say the greatest deterrent unfortunately is bringing another big fucking horrific man. Yeah. He's a photographer like my dogs are right here. Yeah. And guess what? But your dog does essentially right. Yeah. She helps. She does help. I like her. But yeah. Wow. So, but we don't even know Eugene could be an accomplice at this point. No fucking idea yet. Right? No idea. It sounds like he mostly had to have known. I think that. It's in his house. He threw it in this way. He threw it out. It sounds like he's the kind of guy that thought it was real cool that his dad murdered a bunch of people. It seems like it. And that he used it as a sort of a flex. How I know is keeping a stuff film. Like you get rid of it the moment your father dies. Like do you not feel any guilt having it in your home? Oh, I don't think he knew he had it. Oh, okay. Who knows? Who fucking knows? At some level, you're just, he's so lost in the sauce and whatever drugs he's on, I'm never fucking skis he's doing. God knows what crimes he's just guilty of. So I think at that point, he's like, maybe he even thinks he's so much better than his dad because he never killed anybody. I'd tell you what, this is a good week to buy property in Kensington. Yes, it is my friend. Oh, and dig it out. Also, I was having a conversation. I went with my, I went with Cena to a, this Japanese American cultural like moment and we were, we got fucking hammered, ruined everybody's time. Yeah. But I was talking to two, how Japanese, lovely Japanese men. And we were getting really into the idea of like, you know, all we have to do now is invest in the new climate change adaptability measures. Yes. That's the new way to make money now is stuff that will lift skitties into the skies and make water nice. Mm-hmm. Well, that's, you know, that's what Shaq says. You got to find what people are going to need and invest in that. Yep. He's a piece of shit now fucking piece of fucking shit. Oh my God. So yeah, three people died of burning man. There's a foster mom who tried to sell her child for a foster child for a monkey. Listen, you don't sell, you don't buy a monkey. You rent one. Oh, these fucking horrible cops shot. He hauled the donkey. We saw that. These guys, these fucking monsters, you know, the fight they came, they showed up at this property and there was cute little like petting zoo donkey ran at them and they clipped it in the fucking head. Yeah. They know how to do. I just don't understand. It's just a little donkey. Yeah. Well, let's be world. It is a little, it is just a little donkey, but there are some police officers and I have to make this assumption because with the number of 30 dogs a day in America being shot by the cops, I have to assume that some cops just like killing animals. And I think that they are very scared cops are really, really quite scared. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, they shoot the cutest little thing they can see. They are real jumpy these days. Yeah. Real fucking jumpy. And I think that that's, it's just speaks to how weak a lot of departments have become. Yeah. Because if you can't stand up to a baby donkey, you can't be a cop. You shouldn't be a police officer. It's a petting zoo donkey. And if you're that excited and that scared by a petting zoo little baby donkey, you shouldn't have a gun. Now, I will say I'm not sticking up for these cops because I hate them. And I think they should be put on leave because they shot a cute little donkey named Heah, but donkeys can be dangerous. If he was a adult Hitler, would it be okay? No, no, no, no, I still, if you the cutest little donkey, they may have been very cute. If he had like a bunch of other donkeys following him, then that'd be worse. Yeah. I'm like, oh my god. He's skating self, you know, he's gaining strength. He's their charismatic leader. Now speaking of eight off Hitler in Germany, there was a story of a German donkey that was on the loose. And these, these people tried to, they stopped and they wanted to get to save the donkey. And so they were like, there was just like 33 year old check and she's like, hey, donkey coming by car to come in my car. And the donkey, like, it actually came in your car and they just beat the shit out of her. Hey, man. Look at her kick through a bunch, not every donkey is cool and every donkey's here. I guess what? Yes. But I was talking about, they don't need a shade, they don't need a shoot, a baby donkey. They certainly don't. You really? Cause like, how do I say it? You can kick it. Yeah. Just fucking kick it, man. I think it was dark too. So like, it came running at them in the dark and they just got scared. Yeah. It's just bullshit, honestly. They shouldn't have been in the pasture. No, they had the hop offense. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the main issue here. Just kick it. It's time. You don't even got a light. You got a fucking, cause you got to fill out a little bit of paperwork. You fucking idiots. Or if it's your, if you're at a farm investigating something, sometimes all the animals are around. Yeah. It's a pedigzo. Unbelievable. All right. We love you. He, huh? We really do. Well, as long as he's not guilty of any crimes, do we have any new listener mail stings? I do. I have a really good one from a few weeks ago and Henry asked for a very particular type of a story. And I forget the moment I walk out the room, I forget. I'm not even gonna tell you. I'm just gonna play it. Oh, I know what this one is. And you guys can hear it. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna listen now. I'm gonna write you on. Yeah. Yeah. [MUSIC] >> It's gonna make you say wow. [MUSIC] >> [LAUGH] >> [MUSIC] >> [MUSIC] >> Fuck it. >> Hell, that was awesome. Man, I listen to all of these listener emails, that sounds so good. >> Fuck it. >> They're fucking awesome. I'm really enjoying all of it. And it just makes me think that like there's so many talented people out there. Why do certain people get it and others don't? >> We mean. >> I mean, that guy, that was perfectly, that should be on the radio. >> That's great. He's cool because he's about- >> Summit listener mail to- MTV's gone. No, you know, it's because it's the Nepo babies. I should get him credit That was Brandon Coyne and the Barbarians from San Diego. Oh fucking great. Check them out. Check them out. Check them out. Let us know if you're in front of L.A. I'll totally go and check out your show, but I want to hear listener mail live. I want to hear that song live. I was fucking sweet. Man, this is great. Do we have more of them lined up? Should we request a new genre? I love that butt rock, man. I've got a couple more still in the can here, but you guys can do it every one. Well, I mean, or maybe I've given them something to just think about and then they could see what comes back. Yes, I've been listening to a lot of like Hawaiian music, you know, I've been listening to a lot of Hawaiian music, a lot of, you know, you do get very nice. Yeah, I've also done really in the cal trader, you know, some, yeah, some vibraphone. He loves vibraphone. I mean, Jackson's. Yeah, you're just talking about like that's the hardest music in the world. Yeah, it is pretty hard. So let's see what these people got. There's a vibraphone player out there who listens to this show. Hit me up. I might be interested in having you come on stage with me because that could be fun. That is cool. Yeah, vibraphone. Oh, the guy that had the guy that got arrested for stalking, that's kind of hilarious. His name was Benjamin Larson. Oh, this is more of us. All of you, you fucking idiots. He and Owen. Owen. Ah, shit. Those are the ends. You really can't trust that much. No. And the ones with two S's, who, who, who? That's real. That's real. That's real sweet. That's real sweet. See, I'm not one of them. And my father changed his name. I'm supposed to live shows. Yeah, I know. We should take it back, man. Look at that. Change it back to live shows. Yeah. Anything I'll do it to my mom's maiden name, Gorski. That's a good one. That is a good one. We've used that for years. Yeah. I even ate it. We use Gorski is our favorite. That's like our favorite fake name. Yeah. Gorski. Liv Shultz. I'm sorry. You prick. Got him. Good. Right. Let me read some of these. So there we go. This was, uh, I was, this is one of those I just wanted to hear about, I guess, I, it asked about this a while ago. And I want to see what this says. Okay. About turning Jewish into jail, huh? Liv Shultz. I was in county jail after a night of disorderly drunk and conduct. And soon realized that without bail money, I would be sitting there for a little while. One of the few things you can do in county jail is make your time. They're a little more comfortable as to request a special diet. Oh, usually vegetarian. Since there is absolutely no telling what they pass off as meat needs institutions. However, the kosher diet seemed to have pretty much all that I needed. Harbol eggs for raw protein, fresh vegetables, tortillas, past office, flatbread, still not fine dining, but still better than the other. Yeah. Yeah. However, the only catch is if they claim some sort of belief system and make a good reason or staff would deny your diet request. Because, you know, they do this. Same thing. There's a hack too for planes. They want a fresh, a fresh, a meal get a kosher meal. So I'm a white boy. I don't know enough about Muslims, except that they really do click up and are just as much of a presence as whites, blacks, or Mexicans. You know, typically in jail, you just stay with your own color. Unless you have a reason to not to or like Henry says, you're funny. See, I think I'm hilarious. So when I had to tell the jail staff, I was Jewish, I thought it would be a good punchline for a few jokes. So pretty much everybody in the tier thought I was Jewish. Not a really a problem. There was only one other Jewish guy and he was a strung out drug dealer. That isn't until I got into a fist fight and thrown into the hole. Probably was because of cards. Now the hole is just a long corridor of two man cells and you have to stay there until your discipline is up, usually about a week or so. The shoe. Yes. What's totally crazy though is that this is the very start of the conflict in Gaza. Right after the first bombings and literally nobody would shut up about it. When I got sent into the hole, they put me, the one Jew with another guy who happened to be the only Muslim currently in the hole. He was also serial killer. He showed me his paperwork as his customer. And yep, surely enough, 14 murder charges, three while in custody. He had recently been paroled a couple of years prior, but had come back on a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who was almost a quarter his age. Really nice guy though. The most considered cell made I've ever had. Generous, affable and loved to have friendly conversations over back to back games of backgammon. Overall, zero animosity between Jews and other races in prison because there really isn't any presence. Sorry for being so long winded, but I hope this helps. We obviously didn't talk to any fucking Nazis. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's right. I think he kept us to the other side. Oh, yeah. You know, I love ground news. It's a good, it's a good website. And they, they just released something a couple hours ago. It says they have proof that the U A E president told Netanyahu 10 days before the attack that it was going to happen. No way. Yeah. And that calls out. That's not problem. No problem, sir. All right. We're just going to move on. My encounter with the shimmer man. I've had a few experiences in life that I can't explain. I also tend to stir things up. Sometimes it seems in certain settings I go. I love the world you all discuss, discuss the, the cult cryptids UFOs, but at heart, I'm a lifelong skeptic really. Always question these things as I clearly hear you all do all the time, but a handful of experiences just seem to lack one like, like this following story. My earliest one I do believe was about six, seven years old. I remember you all talking about a certain sighting people have reported that I believe I witnessed on this day. Henry called it a the shimmer man or the glimmer man. It resembles predator when he's in a cloak form. You can sort of see it, but it's blurred or fuzzy like someone not fully in focus or maybe in this plan or in this dimension. Like I said, I was a child. I was at my great grandfather's house, a house that has a long history. We have found records there that the land was once shared by our relatives along with the freed black family that lived across the field. We didn't own them. They were free people, but they couldn't own land due to the laws at the time. We seem to share the land and the crop yield with one another. Another part of the land just behind the main house, my great grandfather used to use as his furniture workshop, which is what he made. It used to be a stage coach shop and a post office on the old great wagon road that ran through North Carolina. This particular stretch was out in the Moravian, Bohemian, immigrant, settled area of Forsyth County just outside Winston-Salem. So it was summer. I was a child playing outside. And between the house and the old stage coach house/workshop, I saw a figure. It was the outline like I mentioned above, just as others have described. I watched it move towards a cellar door on the back of the house. It looked right at me and stopped. That's when I had a feeling take over me like it was talking to me, asking if I was coming, as I walked towards it. It started moving again through the door. I opened them and I looked down the steps to catch the faint movement still of the figure and what direction that it went. So I followed. Even thinking of how curious I was and how I just followed it makes the hair stand up on my arms and neck just thinking and writing this. I've never told the story to anyone really, but my partner. But when you guys talked about this, I brushed it off. I may even try to convince myself that it wasn't the same, but it kept eating at me. So I go through the stark area of the basement and now I can see a ways ahead now, maybe 20 feet. In one area of some light comes in from a window and I see a figure crouch at a hole in the wall and then just like fade, blur away. I go to the hole. There's little tiny kittens in there. Again, I have this weird feeling of being talking to tell pathically comes over me and this feeling voice something communicated like this to me. See? I told you that you'd like what I had to show you kind of feeling. So hard to fully explain. Maybe it isn't. My parents let me keep one of the kittens once they were old enough to be weaned and leave their mom. And it was delicious. And when we sprouted it definitely, I can't believe it sprouted. Have we planted that? It was amazing. The kitten I picked was the smallest one. She was my childhood cat and seriously from six to seven year old to me going off at college and maybe twenty twenty one years old. She was there for it all. She was a sweet cat. I didn't tell anybody how I found those kittens that day except my current partner. He's a big fan too. And this was well into my thirties and after we'd been together for some time. But I'd been after that. We heard Henry and I discussing it on side stories. I don't believe that I witnessed that day and wanted to harm me. But if memory serves me correctly, I think others have witnessed the same type of being. I also seem to protect our guard some kind of guardian animals, natures, sometimes when it's connected to it. I found that connection out as well with my own experience. So basically these cats were abandoned by their mama and they wanted the ghost to do it and wanted to show this person. So I want to have cats. Yeah, I want to have cats. Did it want the kittens to die and become a little kitten ghost? Something. That's fascinating, right? That's a nice ghost story. I like a nice girl. I don't see you don't hear those as often. It's always like a scary ghost story. It's never like guys, my friend. No, I like a nice ghost story and it's nice because I think sometimes with the nice ghost stories, they are a little bit more believable than the mean ones. Yeah. Because I think more people are kind of like, if it's nice, it's kind of more memorable. Yeah, the only mean ghosts are like, you know, murderers, right? Some types. You mean old bitch, mom. Oh, for sure. Fucking old bastard. Oh, yeah, like FDR's mom. Yeah, it's like fucking bitch. I fucking bitch if I could get my fucking hands on her. I don't know anything about her. She's deep. She only had half a pussy. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show. Live every day. wondering what? half of your pussy works. Hey, you're gonna love knowing the fact that you hope it's the top half so that you could make an incredible president than not just the bottom half 'cause then it's Spider-Man, right? But not without the powers. He's got extra legs. And then you can laugh all your way to dropping off your spider leg child to the orphanage because you don't wanna deal with it. - Yeah, that's a good point, Henry. - Thank you. - You got any 9/11 plans? - Yes. - What are you doing? - I'm going to have a big plate of Shwarma. - Yeah. (laughing) - Well, I'm gonna be on an airplane going to Washington, DC. - Well, your favorite. - Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna be at the DC improv all weekend. Come and see me. - Yay! - I got my buddy Evan Rossi with me from Tallahassee and Julie's gonna host the shows. They're gonna be a lot of fun. They're at the DC improv. Then the following weekend, basically, I'm on the road like every weekend until Halloween. So, and then Henry's with me most of the time as well. In Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia. - But in Norfolk. - Come and see us, that's gonna be September 18th. Norfolk, Virginia. - Norfolk, Virginia. - It's gonna be at the addicts. And then, Raleigh, North Carolina, the following day, September 19th, we're gonna be at the Martin Marietta Center for the performing arts. That's gonna be side stories as well. And then the following, and then two weeks after that, I'm gonna be in Milwaukee. - Well, Milwaukee. - That's right, yeah, I'm gonna be at the laughing tap with Logan Metz again and Tom Goss. - Oh, fine. - I'm gonna have some fun there. Then I'm gonna be in Denver right after that in October 4th. My first show sold out at the comedy works. They put me, I got a second show. - Yeah, great. - So, good to go to the later show that same night. It's gonna be a lot of fun. It's my birthday, too. - Yeah, go. - Celebrate my birthday with me in Denver. I got a cool, Julie's gonna be hosting, but I think I got a line on a really cool opener. - Ooh, how it's, how different are your two shows gonna be? - They're not gonna be that much different, but I got a lot of new stuff I'm working on. That was the one thing I did over break 'cause I thought about my standup a lot. And I got a lot of new shit I'm working on. - That's great. - Yeah, yeah, so come and see me. I'm gonna work out at this weekend and I got a lot of shows coming up. It's gonna be a blast. And after that, Henry and I are gonna go to Hartford on October 11th and October 9th. God, I've been wanting to cross this venue off my fucking list for so long. The Warsaw and Brooklyn, I can't wait to decide. - I have stories with you there. - Can't fucking wait, dude. - It will be in Brooklyn all week, man. - Yeah, we're gonna be there all week, having a lot of fun, going a lots of places and doing our thing. - Can't not fucking worry. - Yeah, Rob's gonna be there, right? - Hell yeah. - You're gonna put it around the show? - I'm coming. - Yeah, come kiss Rob at the show. It's only a good thing for a big old man. (laughing) ♪ Heavy is a big old, big old man ♪ ♪ Come on, we're selling 'em ♪ ♪ Rob's for sale, come on out for cash ♪ ♪ Cash money, you'll do it by the hour ♪ - Oh, we love you guys. - Thank you so much for listening to Side Stories. We'll talk to you next week. - We're back, baby. - Yeah, we ain't fucking going nowhere. It can't take us out. - Helsing. - Hell, um, Cal trader. - 'Cause I'm really in his music right now. - Great.