Side Stories: Nude Food

There's no place to escape to, and this is the last talk on the left. Side stories? That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes. I've ever thought about getting, like, larger maniacs? No, can't handle. No. Thinking about having a tiny maniac is kind of the reason why I have two undisciplined tiny dogs. It's true. And the fact that I, yes, they probably could use more training, but I like the fact that they only like me. You actually like that they only like me. They like me? Yeah, no, but I mean, I'm just saying that they don't like society. No, they don't like society. But I like that about them. But I like that they're right at Achilles tendon height, but you know, like, so are the million brothers. Yeah. And the million brothers, they use their lives. I believe to fight against, I want to say, Chairman Mao. Yeah. Where is he at? Where are they? Mao. I think Mao's gone. Yeah. It's Z now. Oh, yeah. That's right. All the way down to the end of the alphabet. All the way from Mao to Z. Wow. That is crazy. They really got to do something about that, but you flop them over. But in other news, Eddie, one of the news, I heard, I don't know if we hear if you heard. Oh, I don't know. Hi. Hi. Come closer. Oh. Come closer to me. Oh. Come closer to me. My Asian wife. Oh. My little Asian wife. Oh. Oh, you're so. You look so good. You look so healthy. Oh, what's that? Oh. Quilinomy bitch. Are you coming out of your mouth? Quilinomy bitch. Oh, my. I gotta tell you something. I can't leave her strong. You are. Quit. Quit. Quit. Oh, so much. Sure, your little Asian mouth. This plug to the outlet. No. I can't get the plug out. No, no, wait, no, wait. No, wait, no, wait. I can't live how strong you are. Quit. Quit. Quit. Quit. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta die. I gotta die. I gotta die. But listen to me. I don't, I don't, I don't ask me how I know. I miss McConnell. Yes, just know it. Yes, you're doing good. My little Asian wife, my little, my little, my little, you. You for porcelain doll. I just want you to know. Oh, Jay is innocent. Oh, Jay. I saw it on the other side of the veil. I did not know. And we got it to the world. Was he in heaven? No. Oh, Jay, was it heaven? No. Well, yes, of course he's in heaven. Ever. Was it heaven? No. Oh, I don't know. They had a lens of grandfather on me. Oh, I didn't see him. You didn't see him? No, they put him in the gay area. Oh. He's over in the gay, gay heaven area. I bet it's nicer there. I bet it's going to be gentrified. Now, shouldn't my Asian wife just take my secret and spread it to the water? Okay. Spread my secret to the world. Oh, Jay was innocent. And that lady saved somebody like to hear. Mitch. Mitch. Mitch. Mitch? Wow. He's still alive. He's going to be born today. And he's going strong. We want to say welcome to side stories. And congratulations to Mitch McConnell. Each new proof of life picture. You just look younger. You're just looking younger and better. God, you're vivacious. It's like I'm looking at carbon. Is that true? Is that true? Is that true? Yes. It's exactly the same picture. No. We slightly leaned forward. Look out. Action. Oh, my God. I'm Henry Soprowski. And we're on. We're here. Side stories are on death watch. And I'm sitting here with my favorite guy to sit and wait and watch for Senator to die with Ed Larson. I can't wait. Oh, you know what I like about him is he's so warm shaped. You won't actually have to dig him into the ground. I'm just going to slide in there. Yeah. It's actually going to be really nice. He just, and he, if you cut off his head, it just grows. Yeah. Yeah. Which is truly one of the ones. That's currently what is alive. It's happened a couple of times already. In order to save the head, they had to release the head from his corpse. So they relieved from his corpusicle. Now he's just a head and spine. I believe. And they are. But I, he does believe that that is enough for him to vote on continuing the war in Iran. Yeah. He's going to show up to the voting today with his head and he's got little spider legs. Things, things, things head in there. And they're all going to stand in a pause. They're like, Senator McConnell's back on the floor. So strong. Yeah. He's like, he's not a spider leg in it all. Just raising. And there's a little Asian wife just following behind with her blue bound feet. Just so excited to be just going like, oh, I love to be quiet. Was she, she's very, she's, she's important. She's some fucking bitch. Yeah. She's a bitch. Yeah. She's from fucking rich ass dumb ass fucking bitch. Yeah. Fuck her fucking ass. Don't like her. Don't like her. Don't like her. A lot of high fucking kids. Yeah. She's, her actually, she goes by bitch, McConnell. Oh, yes. But it is pronounced Asian, which everything is B.I.C.H. Yes. Yes. It's pronounced Asian. Elaine Chao. Oh, yes. She was the former United States Secretary of Labor. And I guess that's what you call when you're getting it from McConnell. I love that. Her last name is goodbye. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's Italian. Oh, I thought she was Asian. Well, fuck her. So hopefully she dies with them. So this is, it is pretty amazing to just, just know it's cool. You see, I've heard from either way because someone was like, oh, you guys are giving a lot of heat to Governor Bushier. But why he's not there saying, show me the cops with his giant, you know, stay command out of silver and a torch and shit. But no, I do understand that there is some. He does have work to do. There's issues. Yeah, but it's the government. Nobody cares. So there is a certain amount of, I guess there is political machinations still around. They're still trying to see, because they do believe I think that they can help. They can, if he is declared dead, they then can hold a special election. And then it will definitely be a Republican. So according to Bushier, he's doing this politically, which he's basically, they're, they're saying out loud. He's dead. We're not telling anybody. Yeah, well, I mean, he's technically alive. I believe that he's technically alive. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of people are technically alive. I think that they can keep people alive for a long time. Who was that chick who was dead for like a decade? Oh, the old Shivo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they kept her alive way too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they kept that bump in. But also, how's she doing? Oh, she's dead, didn't recover. Yeah, didn't fucking recover. You know, all those who's dead, but still operating. It's kind of amazing. Frankie Valley. Frankie Valley. But he, you know, he's got it. For those of you who know, don't remember the Frankie Valley. Who are you? First of all, never seen Jersey boys. Yeah. Unfucking believable. Frankie Valley of the four seasons of the not the hotel or the landscaping company. No, no, he is of the actual four seasons, Frankie Valley and the four seasons. But if you have been following his descent, they continue to put him out on stage. The fact that he can stand and move better than the present in the United States. America actually speaks to a lot, but they pump in sort of his song making from. I want to say a playlist from Hong Kong, where it's just coming out of his mouth. And he just goes like an animaton. I like him. I think it's good for him. Of course, he's been old forever. Oh, no, you don't think we're not going to be pumped, like rolled out with audio of us saying, come and shit and fuck like like. And that's going. I'm out mouthing it like as we go. That's the dream. I have tiny maniacs. That's dream. That's the dream. That's a performer's fucking goal. Yeah. Do you know my mom went on a date with one of the four seasons? Oh, was it winter? No. It was in the summer. But yeah, no, I think he just wanted the banger sister. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, Judy. I never meet Judy. No, she's, she's unmeetable. Why are you shubble? No, no, no, she's alive, I think. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's one of those family members I can't stand. So Frankie Valli didn't want to fuck her Aunt Patty. Dave, I don't think she was there available. Aunt Patty listens. Aunt Patty listens. Aunt Patty is not, did not bang one of the four seasons as far as I know. Did you get one of the tops? No. The four tops? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aunt Patty, if you could email about, is there any other member within even Southside Joe? What's his name? Southside Johnny? I mean, he has very jokes. He's a little young. Oh. He's a little young. He could probably go, you know what they say about the older the bearer, the sweet of the juice. Come on. Give it a shot. Southside Johnny. Aunt Patty's there. She's still alive. She's in Tom's river. She's doing really well. Hey, she is. And honestly, we love you, Aunt Patty. And a wonderful time seeing her recently. Uh, Aunt Patty also been sending a lot of memes about the poo poo disease. I can't help you. Yes. I don't know anything about it. I can't help you. I wish I could. She's so scared of everything. Oh, she should be. It's very scary already. It's very fun. Because honestly, they're always like scared when I go to New York. They tell me to be scared of LA. But honestly, the scariest place I've been is Tom's river. Tom's river. You were scared. Absolutely, Eddie. That's Howard Johnson at Tom's river. When I go to Florida, I am constantly challenged by other men. I've never been into it. I've never been in another state where I've gotten almost more physical altercations with other adults than Florida. Every time they're like, uh, Los Angeles. Yeah. And it's like, I speak to nobody. I'm fine. - I'm greater Los Angeles. - My life is fantastic in Los Angeles. - The most dangerous thing I see is a coyote. - It's me. - I'm in the problem. (laughing) - Speaking of the problem, Ian, Brandon, one of our writers, he's one of our editors here. He is truly, we love Ian to fucking death, right? And he is so good at throwing stuff in. He does a lot of the video editing for side stories and for the stream. All sorts of stuff about the rushes and stuff. - The rushes and stuff. - He's incredible. - All the fun little factoid you see, that's what he puts in. Just know that he's disgusting. So he gave us this, like every once in a while, like he'll throw like a fun idea into the side stories email. And so this one he just tossed in and he's like, this is how I've been obsessed with for a while and I think that you guys should really cover. And so we ended up, Eddie and I are disgusted. - Horrified. - That we ended up in the middle of following this thing. I just feel like we're even, we're putting it on Netflix and we shouldn't. Patrick and Sarah getcha. - Yes. - Have this thing called, what's it called? Daddy daughter, it's like daddy daughter dream team. - Yeah, daddy daughter dream team. - Yes, they are, it's just a dad and his ladybug. - And you discussed me. And Eddie was like, I got obsessed with this and started getting into this for like two hours. I was like, there's no way that I would get into this. I am all of a sudden now looking into it. - At first glimpse you're like, no. - It is, yeah, and then you just look at it for two more seconds. You're like, oh my God. - Oh God. - Oh no. - Oh no, stop it. - Oh God, no. - Okay, what's happening now? - Oh God, oh no. - So just so you know, it's not YouTube video about these two and this is bad. - I've never heard of them before. - Essentially, Patrick and Sarah getcha are father and daughter and they don't act like it. They have a sort of very, they have this kind of baby relationship where the father, Patrick getcha, seems to be sexually fixated on his daughter and the daughter is dying. She looks like she's being kind of both starved and fed to death. - Yes. - You know what I mean? - No, it's very unhealthy. - Yeah, the only thing she eats is like cheese is some McNuggets. - It's like waffle cones. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's like all she's eating is waffle cones filled with cheese. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so these guys are, it gets rough over here and so the wife gets involved. She can barely stand, she's filming them. Again, there's no-- - There's definitely something wrong with all of them. - There is no outright criminality here. The reason why we're even talking about it is because it is a Christian style de-fucking descent into watching people prostrate themselves on the internet just simply for the freak show amount of attention that they get in order to be paid money. - I think the problem is, when Henry and I's main problem is with this, is that they seem to be more popular than us. - See, we are a mad because they're getting a lot of engagement. And is this something we need to do? Do we need to daddy, darling? - Do I need to pretend to be father and son? Do I need to start breastfeeding Harley? - If any breast feeds Harley, can you pay attention to his TikTok? Okay, will that be enough? Was that enough for you? - I have to say, the reason why artists were crucial, it's because our goal was to present to you entertainment that we made fashion through a commitment to our art to training, gears of experience, so that you don't have to watch Patrick and Sharon Getchal almost kiss, 'cause you don't have to watch them do really weird IRL streams where the main father has a walk pad he keeps falling off, and when the daughter and the mother that look more and more like each other every day start physically assaulting each other. There's gotta be other stuff. Watch Bloodbath 77 on YouTube. You know, we've worked so hard on YouTube on this show and we're making over there, H-E-X-2. - It's great show. - We go check it out. - Try so hard to edit it. Got a guy from Adult Swim, the edit it. - The one's watching. - I just needed to go watch Sarah Getchal. - They love Patrick. - I get it, we do too. I love to watch Sarah Getchal try on bathing suits in front of her father. - I'm with you. I love to watch the mother of the daughter film the two of them rolling around in the grass next to each other like their two new children in an old German 16 millimeter film. - I just need you to watch Bloodbath 77 as well. So if you're gonna just, I just must have you. This is what I'm gonna say, if you're watching Patrick Getchal, you must watch five minutes. You must stop. You have to stop and watch Bloodbath 77 on YouTube.com slash LPN TV. - For now, and if you don't wanna watch, so you can always watch H-E-X-2. It's probably better. - Of course, it's just as good. It's just as good. I'm just saying you watched this and I get it. We went down the Reddit page. I was stuck inside the Reddit page, watched them all try not to kiss each other, all right? And the whole family's trying to fuck each other. They're all sleeping in the same room. And they all, no she has her own room. - Wow, she graduated. - No, she has her own room which she was pretending that she moved out and it was an apartment. And then she got a wish list for everybody. And then she started accepting gifts from everybody. And then when some people who were really into it put pieces together like, hey, that's not an apartment. That's the same room. She was like, I actually lied. I didn't move out and I took everyone's gifts and I promised to give everyone a refund by February. - Wow. - Yeah. - Now that's the transparency we'd like to see here. - Did you see him give her a make her take the purity ring? - The purity ring. - Yeah, like it was a wedding ring? - Yeah, I saw it, Eddie. - Yeah, he bought her a giant diamond ring, which I don't know if it was fake. It was a big old, he got it from, it's class. - You know what, I was looking at Cubix or Cronium recently. I was like, oh, I'll get Julie Cubix or Cronium. We don't want to diamond because of all the, it's just as expensive. - Yeah, buddy. - It's just as expensive for a fake diamond. - I mean, it's, yeah, lab-grown or whatever. - Yeah, yes, it is, it's just, why is it not cheaper? - Because it's diamond. And they don't wanna, because if they became cheaper, it would destroy the entire market that it would fake. And that'd be bad for the economy. - No, okay. - Well, back to these fuckers. - Did you know they write books together? - Oh, good. - They can read. - They write books together. - Oh, right. - Oh, yeah. - When you think that you, he said, "Rate books together." - Oh, my God, yeah, yeah. - And that would, you literally think that he said they "Rate books together." - "Rate?" - Okay, oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah, no, no, they can't read. They can write, though. - They wrote this. - I don't know, is it? - Yeah, they wrote a book called "Firebound Harmony, "Princess and Dragon Unite." Let me guess, this is what her little-- - Oh, no. - AI, it has to be AI. - So this is the way they sat down and had the patients to write a book. - This is from Sarah Getshell. - Live the life you chose. Not the one everyone else expects. 'Cause I was around 16, so many people have tried to tell me what I should be. They don't understand who I am or what my dreams are. The only ones in my life who have always supported me, my goals and my family. - Especially my dad. - Oh, see, they're playing into it. - Of course, they're playing into it. - We are now. - Yeah, now we're doing it. We have also joined in. - I think that all of society has begun to fucking reward mediocrity. They don't even want talent anymore. I mean, look at fighting. Look at what fighting has become. All the biggest fights are the next biggest fights Manny Pacquiao Floyd Matherweight. - Yeah, yeah, that's a fight from 25 years ago. - And then when we watched Tyson, Jake Paul, we watched Connor McGregor break his leg in 15 seconds. - Yeah, because he won a boulder battle in Balsa, because all he does is do cocaine all day. - We don't want to see who's best at things anymore. - No, we want to see people fail. More than we want to see people succeed. - Because being the best at something, Eddie, would maybe reflect on you. And then you would feel a sense of inferiority. And then you would not be able to feel like a champion yourself. - See, what's happened? - When are people going to start rooting for the losing team? Like the team that never wins. - Like how would you? - They do. - That's going to be the new Super Bowl. - Not all the time, but they have to be caused and their losing team has to be get to be really good. - Yeah, that's probably-- - But I'm with you, I get it, no, it all sucks. But I for once say Patrick, I can just Sarah get your congratulations and we can't wait to send things in the mail. - Yeah. - I think that you are, I think it is absolutely worth it. The other thing I've been playing could very close attention to, which we're gonna talk about next week is the Lindsay Clancy trial talking about her killing her three kids and with electric, with exercise bands and slitting earth risks, slitting her throat, jumping out of a window. Now she's paralyzed, but they're coming out of it and they're trying to figure out this whole trial is about how culpable is she? Was she too mentally ill to know what she was doing? Or does the planning that she showed enough to say that it was first degree murder? - Well, if they just leave her alone, she'll just die, right? - Not necessarily. - Yeah? - No, this is a story about this whole, it's, we'll be covering this in total, but I've been transfixed by the trial. - I haven't really learned anything about this yet. - My whole life right now is watching this trial and watching Vietnam footage. That is all I do all day long. - See, I'm sticking to the Vietnam footage. (imitating video) - Da-nao! Da-nao! - It was me sitting, all I do is sit, all I have in my head. 24/7. That's all I've been thinking about. I ruined a guy's night on Saturday. - Hell yeah, bro. - I got liquor, I haven't done this in a while. I got straight up. old-fashioned liquor dog and I talked Vietnam at a zoomer's face about an hour. See, that's actually your job. Yeah. That is like, not only literally your job, but also like, you need to do that to people. They need to know. And you know when you can tell it too easy, they don't talk to their grandparents. These are these fucking zoomers. They don't. And I do think it's interesting. It's most of them. They're mostly in the White House or they were at January 6th. See, my problem with this guy was that he obviously was too socially awkward to talk to anybody else. And he definitely was looking for ways out. Yeah. He was looking for ways out and I wasn't specifically, I wasn't going to let him out. No, you're practicing for the show as you should be. I just never turned it off. No, I got him down, I got him down to be like, so where you stand now, Vietnam War never ended. Yeah. Look at it, man. See that's what happens when you see us out and about, you can corner Henry and get that. And then me, you just got to talk about P funk or, you know, lobster. Yeah, get him food. Yeah. Can we take the Terry Shive. Oh, pictures off the monitor. I'm just look up and I just see her. Oh, no, no. No, no, no. All right, let's do this very funny, sorry, no, you keep looking up and just see Terry Shive all. And I was like, Oh, wow. She alive. She back. Right from North way. So this story, this made me laugh is like, I was honestly, this is what all news should be. This story really made me laugh. So this young man, Ty Quant Johnson, this is not the part that made me laugh. He shot a whole bunch of people, right? He shot. He is facing arrests for felony assault and the firearm connection with a double shooting in Newport, July 19th in Rhode Island, right? Yeah. So we don't know. But the thing that's interesting is like, that's not that interesting. What's super interesting is that this young boy was actually just named literally last year. So before all this happened, Pope Leo, our new Chicago fucking thick style pope. I want to find out exactly how this works. This story's L-P-O-T-L-A-G-M-L.com because I know every pope has to make lists of like miracles. Yes. This is one that he thought that he saw. You have to apply. I don't know. I'm surprised his miracle wasn't about hot dogs. You think it would be Joey Chestnut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Been like, you know, it's just amazing to see somebody with a bottomless gallant who's not always beaten his wife. How aggravating is it we have a pope from Chicago? He's not fatter. This is what we've been talking about. He's not from Chicago. He must be from some other place in Illinois because he's actually from Chicago and he had the balls to be fucking pope. He should be 300 pounds. You know what his Italian beef is. Just him talking to the other guys in the Vatican about who the best pedophile is. And it's got to be Antonio. No, no, no, no. Villero, he makes them almost like it. You got the hot dog father, Villero. He can make a baby almost like a wooden tragedy that happened. What do you say? What do you say? That baby is so good, that's his Italian beef. Yeah, exactly. And so, but so because of this, I love to know how this process actually works. The, so retroactively, Taikwan Johnson when he was born in 2007, he was born without a heart beat. Yeah. And so these doctors, a series of doctors, they got together and they, uh, I'm going to say this. This is a C section, early baby, C section, super, he's a premium. The doctors got together and invoked the saint Salvador Valera para. Baby came back to life. They said that the, he was born for 65 minutes without a heart beat. And then miraculously came alive when they started praying in the room. So they said they, they, they, they, it was on the bless. So they believed it was a miracle. They retroactively made it a miracle last year. The Vatican made it a miracle. So they, 2025, they declared that a miracle. They said miracle, baby, and they saved the baby just to go out and shoot a couple of people in Rhode Island. That's right. And I just think that that's extremely funny because, well, he got on me. You got, you got a big ol' baby. Oh, he got spit lumps? Yes, spit lumps. Yeah, we could cut it out. I was trying to do it so you could, it would be an easy cut. It's going to talk about the fucking pope. Get angry. Yeah. So anyway, this miracle baby shot up a place apparently, so God went out of his way to save this baby. So if we believe that God every day wakes up with a series of to-do things on his desk, right? Does the miracles with guns, like finger guns? Yeah, that's what I, that's what I do. You're going to live. You're going to die. You're going to die. You got AIDS. You don't got AIDS. You got AIDS. You don't got AIDS. Next. Next. So you must have like, do you think that's how it works that he sits at his desk? Do you think he just correspondents first? Do you think he gets up and then he's like, okay, here's the prayers done. Okay, you want a billion dollars. You want a trillion dollars. You got it. Oh, you want something? Oh, you want the family to get this miracle health care thing? Nah, that's stupid. Yeah. And so would he- He just goes and he greets all those pedophiles. Yeah. High fives each one of them. Good work. He doesn't lie. And so then, then what do you think God does? So then God just chooses randomly who he's going to pick to save or not save, right? And then the idea of like, so he has no idea. God knows everything. Yeah, God knows everything. God knows if God's real, he knows every single thing is going to happen. Past, present, future, there's those things. This time, God could see out my eyes. He could see out your eyes. He could see out the dogs. God's looking out my butt. Yeah. Right now, if he wants to, he could turn my butthole into an eyeball. He can look out of if he wants to. Why don't you do it, God? I bet you do. I bet he's right now because he's not seeing anything. Nothing much. Because he's in my pants. Yeah. Right? So move on, I guess. Yes, that's what you're going to be like. Oh, try that. Sure, roulette. Yeah. He's, oh, every day. Shat. Roulette. Yes. Come on. I know it's good. So this, so God then chose Tiquan. And Tiquan did come out and say, um, which I thought was really nice, uh, straight up. You know, if God didn't want me in this world, he would let me die in that table. But he wanted to give me a second chance. He said this before he was arrested for the crime, obviously, that was when he was, uh, when they first said the, um, when the miracle was first announced, yeah, they wouldn't ask him when he was a fresh miracle, baby. And do you think that that then gives you the confidence to do crime in 18 years old, man? You're declared a miracle. Like if you're declared a miracle at 18 years old, to me, if you're not like, cause like nor that's like what happened in Northwest. Yes. You're getting hand piercings, you're going on a 13, you're a 13 years old going on a world tour that you have no muse. I mean, you don't have to have confidence. How can you, like do you think that canceled the tour got canceled? Good. Yeah. I mean, she's a child. Need to get canceled. But what is about the fucking? But what about this shit? Well, like, do you do think it makes them go like, I'm untouchable? Yeah. Of course. He's a miracle, baby. He's going to be fucking worshiped in prison. miracle, baby's miracle, baby's also a really fun gang nickname. Oh my god. You very rarely boy, miracle, baby, have you met miracle, baby? Shit around with him. He has a little fucking yeah, it says miracle, baby arrested and shooting and it's just a picture of him as a baby. It's a baby. The baby. That's exactly baby. Back again. That's the copy. The couple of babies. That's the cop of the bus. A bus, a bus, a bus. Babies. No one got no one. No one got no one's a cop of the cop of the baby's it was it was it was it was a miracle bullets. It was double shooting one bullet. This is my miracle. Yo, that's incredible. You didn't hopefully you can do it again. Yeah. I use it. This must. Yo, this is my home. Miracle, baby. And it's a little premium on the oxygen machine. They're like, that's my dope ass home. Right. Take a look. You kiss him. You kiss my miracle, baby. All right. That's a miracle, baby. You give him a kiss. He covered a slide from his mother. What if it comes out that the people he shot were pedophiles? Right. Then is the miracle, baby, like it right in of God? No. Is he an archangel now? No. Actually, no. You know why? Because if he was indeed, if he had the miraculous powers of Jesus Christ, I do believe he should be able to cure them. Oh. And be like, you didn't know. You had big tits now. Because damn. You like big tits. Imagine how great that would be. Dude. That's what a genie should do. Big. Bam. You like big tits. You're pedophile. Love huge naturals. My first wish. First wish. First wish. Rob Williams. Rob Williams. What an amazing first wish. I feel like that. Wow. Everyone's first wish. That's what I'm going to be like. No. Whoa. That's a good wish. Wait a second. Even me. I mean, huh? Guys, I know. I don't think I'm going to be able to do it. I'm going to be able to do it. I mean, I got lots of favorite stories, but my absolute favorite favorite story comes from Florida. It's in Hollywood Florida, which is very nice. There's a steakhouse there. Oh, yeah, man, oh man. It's come. Yeah. Class War A steakhouse. Okay. It's on one to one north 20th Avenue in Hollywood, Florida. If anyone wants to go and once a month, they are starting complete new Dining. Wait a second. All right, we talked about this before the show, but Mike. I just realized this. So it's just once a month It's just once a month. You have to buy tickets to it. So you mean a special event that holds 20 people wait before this $250 for men $150 for women 300 for couples. That's disgusting first of all. Like that is like such Look, I do you have charging more for men and the women is just like Classless. I mean, I think I think I think it's okay Well, it should be no single on a company man. I mean, well, only couples and single women or you make that extra hundred and let them come But they're the always the ones are gonna be a problem. You don't think they're not gonna be the fucking problem Of course, maybe the problem. Well, that's why they're charging extra hundred so the guy that we went so we watched the show gay male couple Is it still 300? No, I charge them less charge them less. Yeah, that's more fun. Well, here it is 250 for a man 150 for a woman 300 for couples if you are a gay male couple is a No, or 300. No, it's a couple. So you cut me so basically if you're too pervert, you will like yeah, we're gay together. Yes There you go guys. I just saved you 200 bucks. Congrats. I just saved you 200 bucks That's right. You know what I also love about this place. So number one We watched the interview with the chef who the only way to really describe is a Hornier Patrice O'Neill when he looks like he's kind of Fedora and he's actively drinking on the job when they interview him It is in the morning. He is visibly intoxicated the the horrific mega-coated reporter talking to him What say Bruce McCullough from kids in the hall doing a character it is amazing He is lit up because he kept being like because also what I love is that so it's a Florida Hollywood Florida newscast that we're watching this on and the first thing the reporter asks Is all they good people said no, tell me. Is it going to me any hanky pinky going on? Absolutely not. He goes Definitely starts doing spiritual Because he is a he's visibly intoxicated and he keeps it very small It is two tables with a gigantic flat screen Which then that is not the class that's not a classy atmosphere. It's a gigantic flat screen Which I think is how that isn't objectively funny. It's very Florida. It's a five star experience What because two of those stars or balls look at house. This is it's a it's just like a living room. It's got carpet But now that you're now that all of this is set and done even just saying this I thought this was a permanently nude restaurant No, so you mean it tell me this for a special event so Every other day. So I'll come the next day. You got it. You got a fresh So you imagine they give it a wipe. It's like Jim equipment. You got to give it a once over fucking No, absolutely not absolutely not. It's legal because the staff is clothed But he also says that once you walk through the door almost likely be nude no clothes on No, but then he specifically said chef Barad Ali specifically said because the reporter said ask him are you naked? And he said no, never yeah, so I guess if he's if it's his day off he could be naked No, if he chooses not to be working that day. This is my issue close the waiters have closed the host is close No, the cook should have clothes because cook has clothes He just said no, but he I you know, I it's it goes back and forth He's flirty. He's flirting with I think sometimes he acts as a major D That is fucking do not go to this place. No, this place is legitimately going to be so Thoroughly investigative class Stay calm. But why is the class an acronym? I don't know what this class stand for. Let's find the website. Why isn't an acronym? I just I'm not sitting in the same chair You were I refuse the fucking no, it doesn't picture. It's just this picture, buddy I'm not sitting in the same chair as a fucking 300 pound man that you know how many you know this gonna be all dudes That shrimp cocktail looks awful. Oh Of course it's all the last thing I want is naked shrimp cocktail. Yeah. I have to be the only one naked is a full chicken That's gross. It's weird. This is all gross. It's like rotisserie chicken. If we're gonna do it I honestly, you know, my opinion is opinion if you're having nude food Sushi. Yeah sushi is definitely more No, no dessert like sexy desserts sexy cold The West with sexy desserts and that you're not naked, but it's a it's a sexy dessert place I went with Julie. It was very cute. It was sexy, but were there naked people in there? No That's different. There were naked people at the rooftop garden of Eden bar. That's different. That's different They kind of said part of this is it's sex. So if it's that's the adult only bar you went to it's called better than sex. Yes So yeah, that's exactly the place. So my question. So it is food. It is clothing optional Where better than sex. Yeah, no better than sex. It's just sexy food. I just want my food and my To be separate. Maybe that makes me a prude. Yeah, maybe I'm a prude. I just want my Want those two experiences to be separate experiences. Mm-hmm. No, absolutely. No, they should be but not a class What does it stand? I can't find and if it's sex if it's not sexual then what is it? I know this idea I'm constantly baddering this idea back and forth in my head because I you know on one hand I'm trying to understand the body is not inherently sexual I'm trying to hear that from people that just because but then this doesn't exist if that's how people feel But no, there's some people that view it. It's like a freedom quote-unquote freedom thing But you're not really free because you still got to pay to be inside the establishment to take your clothes off to e-rotisserie chicken together and you could do that for free in your house or my mind is like what is the health department think about the health Department doesn't care. It's a private event. That seems it's a private event fishy if everybody Yeah, smells fishy. I feel like if anybody had an issue with it I mean they're gonna have an issue with it This is gonna be over at some point something's gonna happen. Something bad is gonna happen. There's no way this lasts forever I am just gonna say and I'm not to I don't know the man But I just feel like a lot of the issues are gonna come back to the chef You know I have a feeling from seeing his interview with the reporter that a lot of issues are gonna come back to the chef And he is going there is going to be because he said emphatically to the reporter He does not get naked and the fact that he seems to intimate. He's sometimes I get naked might might affect some people make people feel comfortable I feel like some you know, I don't think it is I wouldn't make me feel comfortable are spending $300 a couple to go here You know, oh the Instagram page is down. Yeah, yes, of course it is. It's not gonna stay open Go someplace else if you want to spend $300 on an evening There's so many places you could do it and you can go home and be naked Yeah, you could just then be naked all day long man $300 goes a long way at Flanagan, so tell you that much. Oh my God. You could fucking pay for the whole Coffin I mean, I just did fucking grocery shopping the other day and I felt like I was buy-in fancy clothes So maybe maybe just buy food at and buy cook cook your expensive ass food at home completely naked No, I'm the website. They tell us what the acronym doesn't they are not there's no an acronym It is got dots in it. I know, but I think they just did that for fun. Yeah That's another thing or lie knew about if they've got an acronym in there. Explain what it is you got it then there's an acronym There has to be an about us page. You can just make up acronyms. I'm looking. I haven't looked at you Yeah, yeah, it's like they have like a meet the chef page. Oh, this is women with his fucking dick and balls out Meet the chef and his testicles Look at his little hat his little chef's hat. I put them a penis. That's a condom Yeah, that's why I don't get the pork chops pregnant You know, I'm saying you know what I'm saying. Oh, he does private parties too. Yeah, he better Majority of private parties Are here here's another fun story Man allegedly killed mother port cat litter on her head set her up set her on fire. What are you gonna do? All right, so this guy he he got mad. You got mad at his mom. He tried to kill her before and Been there man he stabbed her in the neck a bunch of times and she died Then after she died he poured a bunch of cat litter on her head in her ears and her mouth in her eyes and dump the rest on her head Like make sure he shoved it in there real good He packed it up in there and then he took a little fire and he lit a fire right in her crotch and then he Left didn't take no, it didn't take. No, you know, but he did start a fire between her legs Do you think he packed her up? Oh, like Gary Busy and Was it a black sheep? Yes start firing. Grab his panties I'm just like that right and so I I don't want quite know why he buried her head in the cat litter I imagine it was an argument that they had I'm gonna go ahead and just say that they they had a volatile relationship do you think that he was like I don't they don't say what happened to the cat You ever have that thing with with fish when they do the salt bake I love it when they cover it like a hard pack of salt. Oh my god. It's so good I'd be ever done it. - Yeah. - It's so good. - That's what he's doing to the latest. - Oh, you thought he was trying to do. - You think he was gonna cook her head. - He can't, we can't let her. - That'd be wonderful. - Yeah, and that like, okay, and then you crack it and you're like, oh, the lemons are in it. - That's right. - There's all these lemon, all these delicious lemons. It's cooked perfectly. You got the capers in it. I could see what he's doing. I think he might have been misdirected. - He was a, it's a wapaka, wapaka? County. - What? Wapaka? - How do you say that? - Wapaka. - Wapaka. - Yeah, wapaka. - Wapaka. - Yeah, wapaka County Sheriff's Office. He is looking upset. - Yeah, no. - He's in a lot of trouble. - You say there's no clear motive. I will say looking at his eyes. I believe that there might be no clear motive. - He is not giving the gaze of a man with long view. - No, yeah, no, this is it. There is a, yeah, exactly. - He's living in the moment. He saw the cat litter. He's like, you know what? You know, I've always wanted to do, I've always wanted to cover Mom's head in this. - He's already, and now I get to. - He's already facing attempted murder charges, stemmed from a violent incident that involved his mother in February. - Oh, yeah, and they looked at the footage. They said they found him and he was, he spent, he was a few hours later, who was sitting on a bench near an elementary school, which is great, he was trying to, Billy Madison himself. He was just trying to get a little education. And then, then we finally got him and they arrested him. He did a bit of it in a resisting, and then they put him in leg shackles and then they said the only thing he had on him was two lighters in a Bible, which is the only thing I travel with when I go abroad. 'Cause that's all I need, man. I just need to be able to keep predators away in the night. - So apparently after he did the crime, he left, and then he tried to come back later to like discover the body. - Yeah. - Oh, whoa. - And he was like, he came in like, whistling with a Bible in his head. - No! - Yeah, yeah, like, now shout, not kill. Now shout, honor thy mother and father. That's a great idea, Bible. I can't believe I didn't read this before, mom. What happened with the cat litter? Oh my God, my mom's trying to commit suicide by cat litter. I told you to leave the litter in the box. - Oh my God. - I was gonna clean it. - I wonder if she thought there was it make her head stop smelling bad. Oh, we're getting all the moisture out of her fucking facial meat. - Yeah, well, I mean, now there are two cats that need to be adopted. (laughing) So you wanna check out the Wapaka local cat rescue? Because obviously there is a cat that now needs a home because his mother was made into a pupa. (laughing) - It's gotta be the hardest thing, and these are the lessons of the hardest lessons to learn. - There is a similar thing happened just slightly just flip it all around upside down. In Northwest Indiana, a woman allegedly cut out her father's heart after stabbing him. - Ooh, interesting. That's actually quite difficult. I was just-- - That's what I was thinking. - She was 32, so she's got some strength. - She's young. I was one of the Vietnam vets I was listening to was talking about how when he was faced with the man, a VC man, and they both had. His gun was empty, and the VC man lifted up his rifle to fire at him, and it jammed. And so then he grabbed his bayonet to run and push him down in order to stab him to death. And he said the hardest part and the most shocking part is that when he first stabbed him with the bayonet, it bounced off his sternum, and he was so frightened by what had happened and he almost died right there because he was like, oh my God, they're invincible. - Yeah, but that's just gonna happen. You gotta cut the wrong spot. - He was in the throes of war, and he was killing a man with his bare hands. - Sounds like he wasn't strong enough to get the job done. - Sounds like he was an 18-year-old that shouldn't have been the fucking jungle. - So with this lady was 32, and she cut out her father's heart. - And that shows that I do believe that women should serve in the military. - That's right. - 'Cause I think that that's like, you know, I'm pushing against Pete Hegg's F, because that's the kind of woman that really show that if she wants to kill a cut out somebody's heart, then she goes ahead and does it, Yasqueen. - She alerts, she watched it on YouTube, herself. She don't need a man. - You know, and I know you're not supposed to blame the victims here, but in both of these cases, I'm like, what are these parents do? - Well, it's just, I don't feel the elderly mother, I feel bad for. - Of course. - 'Cause she's bad for everybody. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I feel bad for the people who did the crimes, to be honest with you, if you really want to get into it, but like, at the same time, this is horrible. - Yeah, I think that it is, people are messed up. - They've definitely messed up. - People are messed up, people get upset, and I think that they don't know what to do with it, and I think that they're afraid they're not gonna get their homes 'cause boomers are spending all the money. - Yeah, she didn't say that she killed her father, but then she went to the hospital anyway, 'cause her hands were all cut up, and she said that she had, her hands got cut up because she were from a weed whacker or a small saw. - That's hard. - Yeah, it's what they said. - You don't know if it was a weed whacker or a small saw. - Yeah, you cut the hands up. - You know, so I imagine she used a small saw to cut her father's heart out. - It does sound like that, yeah. - And then they found him with the heart sitting on top of his stomach, so she cut it out and then put it on top of him and left. - Well, yeah, it sounds like, but then you're just tired. - That's my thing, she's just like, "Oh, why'd I do this?" You know, how many times you do something so hard and you work so hard on something, and then you're like, "What's for this?" It's like getting an embroidery. - Yeah. - No one's gonna see this. - Three knives are recovered inside the hospital blood on them. - Well good, at least they know where they are. - Yeah. - You know, it's hard to be a parent. That's why I don't have kids. Am I gonna let them fucking kill me when I'm 85 years old? - Yeah, exactly. Once you still live with you at 32, it could be any day that you're living with. - That's just an adult now. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, that's a border. That's not even a child anymore. You have to think about that. - Oh, the coroner says it was a homicide. - Oh, crazy. I was waiting for that to come back. I needed to know that before that. So we can actually now talk about what we, we actually, sorry, from before up to this point, we were just conjecturing. So this is another great story, Eddie, that you brought my way. And I want to know who did it. - Oh yeah. - This is more important than any of the other stories we've covered so far. - Makes me want to go to Columbia. - Actually, it doesn't for me. Makes me want to stay far away from it. - I'm excited. - So this is, by far, the most important story of the week. And we, you know, the lot of opinions are gonna come out about this story. So even before we get into it, I just want you to know, we a try as much as we can here of last podcast network to have an informed look forward. - Yes. - And when we talk about subjects or goal is to be informed, yeah, of course, a bit, people might even say we're flippant. We're like, we're funny, we're lighthearted. - Blue. - A little blue, I mean. But when it comes down to it, this is truly, this is the kind of stories it brings all together. So what happened was a bunch of people in Columbia, we're going to see the new Spider-Man movie. It looks great. - It's good, I saw it. - It was good. - Yeah, I love this. - I'm very excited to see it. But I'm not excited to see it in Columbia because apparently there was one guy in the theater who farted so bad they had to cancel the screening. - Now, I don't know whether or not this has something to do with American forces. I don't know if this is some form of, you know what I was thinking? Why aren't we Havana syndrome in Mitch McConnell? - Just to kill him, just to see what happens. - Yeah, this is Havana, this is the perfect time to do it. But I feel like this could either be this is some kind of psychological attack by our forces in Columbia in order to, I guess, destabilize the international Spider-Man market or their gut serves rotten as all fuck and it's that Spider-Man, the guy in the Spider-Man costume. - Apparently there was 200 people in the audience and the whole place had to leave and officially cancel the movie. - There is just no way. There's no way, right? - But they were saying it could have been, someone's like, - It has to be stink bomb. - But the, some guy was farting and like it would never, - You can't just fart that. I've been around your farts. I've been around the farts of the elderly. - I've had a couple that would have caused a stir. I don't know about this. - Did you ever be leaving? - I mean, a couple people, people next to you leave with a whole cinema. - I just feel like that has to be a weaponized guess attack. - That's to be some kind of stink bomb. - In my mind, I don't know, just one fart can wipe it all out like that. - It has to like shit or something. - Unless you fully, I might think about your pants, maybe. - Maybe it's a Spider-Man. - 98% audience score in rotten tomatoes. That 2%, it's got a Columbia. - Yeah Columbia, they were not happy. - They were like, no, as far as I know. And Spider-Man, he's my like fart. Oh, nobody like a Spider-Man in Columbia. - It goes the way he's bowing his eye to lose it. - He's bowing his eye to lose it. - You're supposed to tell areas for throwing this in at the end. - That's supposed to be good. It says Johnny Olikosinski. He dubbed the movie "Tonely Similar" to the "Toby McGuire" franchise of the 2000s, which he called not only the gold standard Spider-Man movies, but Marvel films as well. (laughing) - Hard to call that shit in your brain. - Just so you know. - We still like Marvel movies. - There was a man- - We just love "Spider-Man" in the movie theater. - That's who I'm blaming. - Yeah. - I'm blaming the guy in the full Spider-Man costume. 'Cause most guys- - I mean, there is a guy in the Green Goblin costume. - Oh, it is so funny. - You fucking bet you're fucking not bottom-dollar. But I also think that, let's just be honest here. We all know professional cosplayers. Do you know that these costumes get really fucking smelly? - Yeah, and they don't just certainly always have a zipper. - And they always have a zipper. Also, it's probably been all, have the best diets. Especially if that spider around we're looking at it, it's pretty fucking yoked. He's probably in quite a bit of protein. - Oh that guy, I mean, he's chubby too. - Yeah, he's fat jacked. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's my dream body. - Oh yeah, no, I wanna be so, oh God, I love fat jacked people. - Fat jacked is my goal. But that's easy, but he could also then, but that also the road to fat jacked is a lot, is lined with many, many, many, many horrendous parts. - Yeah, yeah, lots of chichon. - Easy, easy, easy. - No, you wanted to stay to the pernell. If I was him, I would stick to the pernell, get away from the skins. I think that's really affecting you. (laughing) - All right, you ready? - Full stomach. - Listen to you guys. - Oh, do I have a sting? - I can play you guys a new one or do you want the classic reggae? I think you guys like the classic reggae. - Yeah, I really like that. - Let's do one more week with the reggae. Let's do one more week. 'Cause it was really good. It deserves another one. - Here it is. - From our buddy George. - Yeah, this one goes out to Tutsi, Rest in Peace. (upbeat music) - That was really good. This just in, this is pretty great. - Yes, nice. - What happened? You got handed a note for the first time ever. - We did here. Now my family had been part of the Mormon church since before the church was officially organized. One of my pioneer ancestors was a polygamist and was absolutely awful. His wives included nine women, including two sisters and a mother and daughter. By the time the bastard died, all but one of his wives had left him. Anyways, I'm with the kids these days call a homosexual. - Cool. - I left the church in 2015 and it's the best decision I've ever made. - Even cooler. - I'm still deprogramming from all the nonsense they filled my brain with from birth. One thing I've never been able to do is get rid of my temple clothes, even though I haven't been in a temple since 2012. Your interview with Alissa Grandfell gave me the idea that you guys might appreciate them. They'll do more good with you guys and sitting in a box on my closet, plus it'll help me get them out of my life and close one more part of my Mormon trauma. Thanks again for the great entertainment in Hale Satan and he gave us a whole bunch of really gritted, those are Mormon little underwear shoes. - He said it's a bunch of Mormon on it. - We have so much more. - Well, they're clean, but these are the good ones. - Yeah, but these are the fancy ones. - But he wore them. - What size does he? - I think he's a big boy. - Yeah. - Yeah, these would be better. - I actually tried them on or opened them up. - Yeah, try them on later on. - Try them on, Rob. These are for you. This is great for you. This is great. - Yeah. - But thank you and congrats. Good work and get it out of there. - Stay gay. - Stay gay, my friend. - Yes, absolutely. You're lucky. You're one of the, you're one of the blessed ones. - Enjoy being gay. How fun is that? - Oh, did you see the woman was a woman bride? It was arrested for setting the church on fire because she was getting forced married into a Mormon church. - Y'all spatch. - I'm so happy for her. - Y'all, I first of all, one big update. We actually did get an update. - Oh, let's hear it. - Fat people have more blood. - They do. We found that out in the moment though. - Yes, we did. But also, I then looked at it and then someone sent an email specifically saying that fat people have more blood. We did kind of thought, yes, sure. I just thought it was part of the struggle of being obese is that we have to say my blood is everybody else. But no, as a matter of fact, we have more blood. - We have more blood. - That's so funny, though. - Yeah. - That you think that being fat, you have to struggle about. You only get this much blood. - I wasn't supposed to. - Five second, no. How about blood expert? - I think we need a full fat farm vampire movie now. - Yes, we do. (laughing) - Yes, we do. (laughing) - I am ready for that. (laughing) - Here we go. - This comes from the, someone was inspired by my brotherian episode. - Oh, it was good. - Thank you. - I really enjoyed it, actually. - I was good right into it. It was 2010s. Instagram was new and highly unregulated. It wasn't uncommon to add random people based on a shared interest or hashtag and you would only get content on your feed from users you follow. We remember that 2010s. We're very old. One day I got a message from this Australian guy, probably early 20s. Both had tattoos from the same video game. We started a habit of messaging each other and every time we got a new piece, chatting about other things. It was never super deep. About no means we weren't close friends but he treated to social media like a diary so I would just a lot. He was really in the Norwegian black metal and he posted a lot of really dark stuff. I'm talking pictures of fresh self-inflicted wounds all over his body. Captions about how worthless he was, lots of blood and obsession with death. At first I'd reach out and ask if he was okay but he always minimized it and laughed it off. So I was like okay maybe he just does it for the mayhem aesthetic. Eventually he'd escalated to video clips of him cutting himself. Then he stopped posting for a while. After a while he was back but he was buff. All his content turned into weightlifting and PMA motivational shit. He started getting into the paleo diet and eventually turned into the all meat diet which then turned into all raw meat. His page was now all super graphic slabs of dripping red meat, him chewing meat, talking shit on vegetables and of course lifting weights multiple times per day. He disappeared again. Came back a few months later as a fruitarian. - Oh God. - This is where things could scary. He started losing a ton of weight super fast. The PMA and affirmation started getting more spiritual, less cohesive. I think at this point he had moved on into some kind of communal living situation in the jungle. It was all breath work and energy and manic looking hippies. Sloppy picks a fruit all over the place, trying to sell courses and recruit people. By a couple months in he looked like a guy who'd been lost at sea. You could see bones that I didn't even know humans had. You could look into his eyes and see his body shutting down. I had to stop following him after he posted himself in the hospital twice and then pivoted to talking about how we can all get our nutrition from the sun. I've never heard him call a patharianism, but listening to the episode, there were so many similarities and I'm pretty sure this is exactly what he was getting into. I don't know if he lived or died, but he was not in a good place the last I saw. I wanted to share this because I think diet culture, slash clean eating is probably the most deadly cult of all time. He could probably be, there's an express pipeline to eating disorders and much more insidious belief systems. I do believe it. They're part of what happens with an eating disorder, which I've got slid, I slid into one accidentally once. This is how I'm talking, is that I, I remember being so proud to tell Natalie when I was at the height of my weight loss journey, how like, look, all I need to eat is this two hard boiled eggs in an orange and she's like, that's an eating disorder. And I remember being like, I'm a dude. I'm fat dude. Good dudes don't get eaten disorders. Literally thought that. Yeah. It's not true because a part of it is a mastery of your body. You're being told you can master your body and then if you don't master your body, you're failing. I've done two juice cleanses. I hate it completely normal. I don't think it is. It is. Yeah, cleanses are completely normal. It is fasting this normal. It is extremely normal. It is just an entire deeply restrictive lifestyle is not. Were you putting salt and pepper on the eggs? Yeah. That's nice. Now we'll talk about this. We have that own episode coming up and we're going to talk about it. I can't wait. You better be careful because it might be the entire show from now on. We're going to fucking train you people on how to be proper. You're going to get it. It's time for you. So orthorexia, which is what I expected my friend was dealing with, it's an eating disorder that manifests as an obsession with being healthy. People with this tend to set really extreme boundaries about what, when, how they eat, restricting certain ingredients or food groups, exercising the point of injury, food anxiety rules their entire life. Relationships crumble because they can't make any compromises. And usually they wind up injured or malnourished. And our culture praises them for their dedication and willpower. It's heartbreaking new witness. Because there's a distinct difference between eating healthy and a highly restrictive diet. I did a highly restrictive diet. Like for me anyway, it was probably normal. It's normal for a lot of people. But you had to, right? Because I was doing it for an episode of Brighterside. Yeah. And I just was trying out different diets. I remember this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we did the juice cleanse, but I remember the hardest one for me was vegan. Yes. And it was, it was so difficult for me. And then I remember one time ordering food. And I didn't know, because I was getting Greek food. And I thought I was ordering hummus, but I ordered something with beef in it. And it came to me and I had an emotional breakdown. It was like one of the, 'cause I was so hungry. Oh, yeah. And I just wanted to eat so bad. Yeah, dude. But I was doing everything I could to stay on this diet. And I literally just, I had a breakdown. I get it. And it was like one of those things where it's like, yeah, man, it's like all these people, they're hungry. Yes. And they're hungry. They're hungry. Yes. When you're very hungry, you get emotional. And you get very easily manipulated, yeah. Yes. 'Cause that's great for food. Yes. 'Cause you die. This is very interesting. It's hard, because as a person now, like I'm trying to get from some form of fitness back in my life, it's extremely difficult to figure out what exactly to do. And to have the resources, I have the resources to do it, but it's, everybody tells you something different. You have to do every single thing that's about what works for you personally. There is no giant, general tip that works for every single human being. Everybody is different. Everyone is different. But every drug affects everybody differently. But the one thing that is not different is that each one of us needs to eat and drink water. - Yes. - And what anybody says to you, you have to do just those two things. - No matter, even if it's just crackers. - Even if it's just crackers. - You gotta eat something and you have to drink water, at least, which is hilarious. I mean, it's just crazy to me still to this day. - And you shouldn't have a blog where you pretend to fuck your daughter either. - Not any, you know, not in this. (laughing) Unless you wanna make a lot of money. - You live every day wanting to pretend to make love to your daughter on camera because you know you're laughing your way to the bank. And then you can love your wife differently. - No one else you shouldn't do. You shouldn't stab your mother in the neck and fill all of her head holes with cat litter instead of firing a crotch. - Unless, of course, you wanna make it to side stories. - Which is how you get a one-way ticket all the way to the front page of that story. Oh, thank you, young man. (laughing) So you go to patreon.com/bikes11 or to listen to us ad-free. You can also watch movie stories over there as well. It's at night breaking down in a bunch of different movies. Cold-looking or fucking show over there. It's on the Patreon. We are also on Netflix. You can see it's there. You already have it. Go look on it. - Yes, how you doing? Also, you wanna see us in real life on August 16th, Henry and I and my buddy Disney Dan are gonna be doing a show called Dead Man Tell, Some Tales over a Dynasty typewriter. If you're not in LA, we're gonna be live streaming it. So you can check it all there. Get tickets at editunes.com. I got all kinds of show coming up. 9/11 in DC. - Can't wait. - That's gonna be a blast. - Best day to be there. - 9/12 DC. Second best day to be there. Gonna have a lot of fun. Then I got September 27th. - See, I still feel like the second best day to be there is president's day. - You're right. Third best day. Third best day. - September 27th Milwaukee Laughing Tap. That's gonna be with Logan Metz. October 4th, Denver, Colorado with the comedy works and October 25th, Cobb's comedy club with Billy Wayne Davis. Co-headlining the day after we do Red Way again. - Can't wait. - Oh my God, yes. So go, you wanna see Side Stories right now. Technically the only book at least show we have on the books is Side Stories live at the Matheal Center. But we will have a big, we're gonna have a bunch of shit come out soon. - Yeah, we got a bunch of shows coming up. Dates are coming up. - And then the crime wave still happening, baby. Crime wave, it's you, baby. - Yeah, baby, baby, go, go. Crime wave, it's you, those tickets are still available. Also tickets are available for mid-summer screens. - And this weekend. - Come this weekend, midsummerscream.org. Come and see our last panel on the left. Sunday, August 9th. We are also, we can't, we don't know the exact time by tickets for Sunday, we're there all day. And then we're signing all weekend. We're hanging out all weekend. - I'm gonna be there every day. - Come and see our fucking ass. - It's too much fun down there. I think it's the coolest fucking place. I had such a good time last time. - We're happy. - Oh, and you know what, the good soundtrack is Gods and Lever. - Go and listen, Gods and Lever from Mass for Trash, the Animatic Band. - Explain a little bit what it is 'cause I played it at the end of the episode last week and people were late, didn't know what it was. So explain a little bit so the people can support. - Mass for Trash is a band consisting of me, Ash Gordon and Marcus Parks. We have put, and Isaac Hansen, who produced this whole album. We are, this is our first dance single, off of the our fright Janssen's revolting repository of Gassley Sounds Volume 1 and 2. It is available anywhere. Songs are available to be played. Go to spotify and call you any other one of those. - But just the song, not the whole. - Just the song because there is going to be re-release of the entire vinyl. But those dates will also be coming shortly as well. - All right. - So yeah, you can go check it out. We know this song. - You fucking enjoy. - Marcus and Ash sing on it. - And I just, I wrote the majority of the lyrics. - Whoa, look at you, bragging pants. - It's me, I'm like Scott Wyland. (laughing) - It's me. - It's very much a lot. - Yeah, I'm Scott Wyland. Hails Aiden. - Hails Aiden. - Oh my boy. - Oh my boy. - I am sitting in my room. That nobody gave me on a birthday dance band. - I am the rock 'n' roll, that's a body. - Gave me your dance and prop hair. (upbeat music) - I am the rock 'n' roll, I am the rock 'n' roll, I am the rock 'n' roll. - I am the rock 'n' roll, I am the rock 'n' roll.