Side Stories: How to Leave The Mormon Church w/ Alyssa Grenfell

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Mormon alert! That's right, we have a full-on white Mormon alert! Mormon alert! You know, as much as we've talked about Mormons on this show, I still feel like I know nothing. But that's why, slowly but surely, we're educating you. Welcome to Side Stories. Sitting here with Ed Larson, who is immune to the charms of the Mormon church. I don't like them! He can't be bought by them. It doesn't matter. Fuck soda! Seriously, he doesn't like soda. He can't have it anymore. Yeah, seltzer's dry. I'm all seltzer now. Yeah, he can't even do it. I don't want your syrups. I don't want your ice cream. But we like coffee. I love coffee. And that's the thing. That's what's nice to do in defiance of them. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I am the opposite of a Mormon. But today, we just. Not the total opposite. You're still white. You're still white. Yeah, I'm still a white man. So that's still pretty, honestly, pretty great for me. And today, we're doing a full guest episode. Because I met this person through Natalie, as they were doing someplace underneath. They are. An expert, because they were deeply involved in the Mormon church. They got themselves out of the Mormon church. She went and wrote a book called How to Leave the Mormon Church. Which is one of the. It's a great manual for helping people. Because what she realized, this influencer. I'd say influencer, presenter. She has a YouTube channel, Alyssa Grenfell. But she realized that Mormons were coming out of the church. And being dropped into this modern world. With no guide. Yeah. At all. So that's why she wrote this. To help people get out of the Mormon church. We talked with her about a bunch of the secrets. She brought some Mormon underwear in here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know it was a thing. Man, it's kind of sexy. What do you mean it's sexy? If you get all wet. Oh, yes. Because it's white. Then you get to see through it. And you can see through it. We go through all of this. The audience is going to love how sexual the conversation gets. I do. I tried some of it. You're going to see. I don't want to spoil it. Yeah. She is Alyssa D. Grenfell on TikTok. That's A-L-Y-S-S-A-D-G-R-E-N-F-E-L-L. That's where she prints her stuff. She's also on YouTube. That's right. How to leave the Mormon church is way more difficult than just follow the sign that says exit. Yeah, because guess what? They cover the signs. Yeah. They do. Can't get out. So please listen to our long-form interview of Alyssa Grenfell. You're going to enjoy this. You're fucking better. Oh, we're rolling. Oh, great. Okay. Well, we have a very special guest today. Somebody that is like truly in the world of religions. Right? There's not many. There's not a lot of room for talkback. Right? They don't want you to do it. And I find it interesting that of all the religions, besides Scientology, if you want to call it that, that has such a deep core of people willing to talk about the church, it is the Mormon. It is the Mormon. It is the Mormon. Like, especially after the fact, even from within it, as we were just talking. And what we have today is a truly very, very smart lady. Love this book, which is How to Leave the Mormon Church. And it is an extremely interesting book. I love the fact that you focus on actual practical things that people need. And we'll get into all of that. You also have a YouTube channel that is just under your name, right? Alyssa Grenfell. And we're here with author, host, ex-mo, Alyssa Grenfell. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And I'm also here with Ed Larson. He's sitting right here. How are you doing? Yeah, no, I'm basically just hanging out. This is a conversation between you two, and I'm just here to make sure Henry doesn't attack you. No, I'll never do that. I'll never do that. I love Mormonity. I love the Mormonity of it all. So if you're an ex-mo, do you know any ex-Larry or Curlies? Don't do that. I'm sorry, Alyssa. Do you want to leave? You know, I feel like I'm the butt of a. I feel like I'm the butt of an inside joke or something. I don't know what that is. Oh, it's the Three Stooges. I'm too old. Oh, is he Mormon? No, no, no. He's Larry, Curly, and Moe. You literally sandbagged the whole thing at the very fucking top. Hey, I think it's good. I'm an escaped Catholic. Okay. You know, I was an escaped Catholic. I went to Catholic school for a while, and I got out of there just as it started getting hairy. And now I'm a. What are you now? What would you call yourself now? I'm an atheist. Hell yeah. Full on? Full on. Yeah. Hardcore. We're number three now, atheists, in America? If you call it a group, it's getting there. Or ex-religious or secular. Yeah. A lot of people don't like to claim atheism. Because they're assholes. Because it's very unpopular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most atheists are pricks. They can be. They can be. But mostly just because they're mad at fake God, like we all are. Now, when you got out, how long? You've been out for long. Well, like five years now, right? Ten years. Fully ten years. All right, good. How long was it from the. First thought of getting out to getting out? You know, it's really hard because you have so many thoughts about getting out, but you suppress them so hard that kind of once I was willing to admit it to myself, I feel like I'd kind of questioned my whole life. Sure. But I was probably. It was probably not until I was about 23 until I was, like, allowing myself to be honest about it. Fuck yeah. Good for you. Do you know, like, what was the big thing? Like, what was. It was like, what was the straw that broke the camel's back? I know you've talked about how it was obviously a long process of just being a lady in the Mormon church. Yeah. Yeah. And is it just that? Like, what was the final. Yeah. My questioning really started with not believing in God versus not believing in the Mormon church. Yeah. So it kind of was like taking it all the way to the bottom. And then once I stopped believing in God, then it was like, well, fuck Joseph Smith. You know, like. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because he's talking about God. Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Well, I was just. You might as well believe in Zeus. Oh, very much so. I just had a. I went down a little bit of a rabbit hole with this horrific fucker named Nathan Larson who killed himself. Hey, careful. I'm sorry. You know, it's spelled the same way, too. And he put up Joseph Smith. He wrote this manifesto, and he put up Joseph Smith as, like, one of the heroes of white supremacy. He said in his manifesto he was celebrating Joseph Smith by how. Because of how. How powerful he was and how he was going to try to change the United States government to be more like the Mormon church. Yeah. Joseph Smith tried to run for president. Really? And he. Basically, the reason that the Mormons kept getting kicked out everywhere they went was because they would try to consolidate political power and because of the child rights. The child rights are the. The child rights are the end. That kind of. That always comes to see me like. And also the child rights. It kind of rises to the top, but. It doesn't, though, unfortunately. I feel like it's. Like, it's always the very. It's all just like, huh, they're trying to fuck with the voting systems and taxes. And sometimes they have sex with the child. That's fine. But it's really just the taxes. Yeah. It's really. Yeah. It's really the governmental power. Yeah. The reason they kept getting kicked out is because he kept trying to make himself the leader of the militia and the leader of the town and the leader of the bank. And, like, literally every position of power was unilaterally. He was held by Joseph Smith. Sounds like a fake name. Sounds like he just made up the name. He's like, ah, yeah, Joseph Smith. He does. He's a grifter. He's a grifter and a grave robber. Do we see that same thing now? Like, in the end of, like, do. How different is the modern Mormon church to the old Mormon church? I mean, there's a ton. At least on the governmental level, if you go to Utah, you'll feel like it's the same. Because every. Both the senators, all of the congresspeople, and the governor are all still Mormon. Yes. So it's, like, still a theocracy. And a lot of the laws are still controlled by Mormon, you know, temperance, basically. But, I mean, they don't allow, publicly at least, the child brides anymore. Or polygamy. Though they still do believe in polygamy. So. So how does that work? Like, so they. So it's all in the books. You get more than one wife. I know. It sounds hard. My question is, how does it work? How is the. Well, we believe in it, but we don't practice it work. So, basically, they had to give it up to become part of the United States when they were just a territory. And now, it's still in the scripture. So, in the Doctrine and Covenants, it still says polygamy is a-okay. It's basically, like, we believe in it, but because the laws of the land prohibit it, we honor and sustain the laws of the land. Which is why, after they banned it in Utah. They set up colonies in Canada and Mexico to keep doing polygamy, which is where Mitt Romney is from. Oh! He seems Mexican. There's something about him. Yeah, I'm fair. I don't know if I see it. I see it's just something. It's his hard-working, honest. Now, as far as horrible sons of bitches go, Mitt Romney seems like he's almost fine. Is that true? Am I completely off-base by thinking that? Yeah, the political spectrum of Mormon men, Mitt Romney is. on the better side of that. But how much is that their new savviness of the 2020s versus an actual, like, belief system? Like, in your mind, because the Mormon church, I think that they're savvy. They're actually weirdly, like. They're very adaptive. Yes. They understand. They'd rather adapt than stick to their guns, which is why, you know, polygamy, they got rid of the black ban from black people holding the priesthood. They get rid of stuff all the time to modernize. And then in these days, but, like, then how do they rectify it with it? Now, like, when they talk to you guys about the old, like, the old days, like, how do they frame it? Like, do they frame, like, when they make those big sweeping changes, like, what is it they say from the inside? Yeah, it's a doctrine called continuing revelation that says that the current prophet can override and give new revelation versus, like, the previous prophets. Got it. So it's not that the old prophet was wrong so much as that the new prophet has new intelligence. It's information, basically. Ah, yes. And now he's refining the science. Yes. Like L. Ron Hubbard, he's refining it. So, all right. So the end of the world, how many people? 130,000 people? What is the number? That's Jehovah's Witnesses. Oh, it's Jehovah's Witnesses. Well, isn't it, in Mormonism, it is the same number. They use the number. But isn't that number supposed to be, like, the idea that that's the amount of Mormons that will be left to lead the end world, like the 140,000? You know, they do believe. It's in the Book of Revelation, but I didn't really grow up hearing that number, ever. Okay. Really? So, yeah, I mean, I'm sure if you were to go back, and maybe this is just, like, the continuing revelation of it all, that I never heard this, because if I talk to a woman or anyone who was Mormon who was, like, 50 or, like, you know, older than me, they'll give me all this random doctrine that I'm like, "Fuck, I never heard that." So there's a, like, I'm not going to, I can't deny that that might be a thing because it's changed so much. And they used to have a lot more, like, craziness. They used to have, like, crazy end times doctrine that they would teach that they've kind of moved away from. And that as a whole, because, like, someone said that when we were doing the Chad Daybell/Lori Vallow, like, series, they said that you'd find that within every Mormon enclave, there's, like, a couple of crazy people. Definitely, yeah, more than a couple. Do you have an example of that? Yeah, like, I, especially when I have moved around a lot, but I used to live in Montana. Yeah. Like, in my congregation in Montana, it was very Preppery, tons of, like, really obsessed with guns, really obsessed with food storage. Well, it's a part, isn't it a tenet of the religion, too, to Prep? Yeah, and that's why people are so confused by Mormons, like, meeting Mormons, because you can meet, like, a Botox Mormon who is, like, a lady with a boob job, and they all want to have a pool and a boat, and then in the same ward, congregation, there's, like, the Prepper Mormon who, they don't let their kids wear makeup, or, like, they, you know. Yeah, you could say that inside of a Catholic church, as well. Yeah, it's, like, what part they fixate on. But with Catholic church, it's, like, all the social stuff is supposed to kind of be to the side. You only get involved because you're forced to by all the guilt of the societal, like, pressing on you. You know, I agree, but I also want a bunker. Of course! Yeah, bunkers should not be, bunkers should not just be for the corrupt. Yeah, no, I mean, the end of the world is coming, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, can I ask-- Where else am I gonna play poker with my dogs? Gabby, I don't know! You gotta teach 'em how to be like, "That's not how you bluff. That's not how you fuckin' bluff. Every time you get a good hand, I shoot your tail away!" Why does the Mormon Church save all this money for the end of the world? You know, Jesus really loves USD. Why-- Well, 'cause Jesus came to America. I guess so. Yeah. And he's holding on to something like $100 billion. More, yeah, it's like 300, probably. Damn! And they use it in their funny little Mormon way. They say those little terms and phrases, and they say it was for a rainy day. Yeah, it's our rainy day fund. Is that 'cause of Noah? Is that like a something to do with Noah? But what does that, what does a rainy day mean? You know, I do, in Mormonism, and every religion seems to have, like, different interpretations of the end times. In Mormonism, the belief is that Jesus will renew the earth and things are gonna be really good. But before they're really good, like, shit's gonna hit the fan. Tribulations. Yeah, so my guess in their mind is they're saving it for the tribulations. Like, there's another prophecy that at some point the Constitution will hang by a thread. This is from Joseph Smith. Yeah. And that the Mormon people will step in and save the Constitution and save, like, God in America or whatever. What do they do if money isn't real anymore? It's the end of the world. It's gonna be hard. But do you feel like, that's what I've heard, right? So that's like a dog whistle. Mm-hmm. Right? The hanging by a thread term. Like, there was some, somebody used it. I forgot who it was. I think it was. Probably Lori, yeah, Chad Daylow and Lori Vallow. Yes. Like, that's the type of Mormonism they were really into. Because it seems that her father, Lori Vallow's father, was a heavy prepper. And he said the same thing. Like, apparently they started hardcore when some guy in the government said hanging by a thread on television. And then he said, we are not, we're ready to go. That's the Mormon signal. Yeah. Yeah. I found this. There's this YouTuber that is like a Mormon prepper. And he has this spreadsheet, this Google Sheets thing with like, it has like 200 tabs. And in each tab, they're basically tracking all of the metrics that Mormon leaders have said are like signs of the end of the world. And every time, I've gone back to it like so many times, and there's always like, you know how you can see how many editors there are? There's always like unlimited editors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, the religion is just becoming what the people say it is. Yeah. At least like the, you know, the church could very well like tamp down on this like kind of extremist sect or like branch. Well, those are the people that give the most money. Well, no. Because unfortunately, in the Mormon church, like the theology has a built in sort of franchisee like thing. Yeah. Yeah. And if you make a strong enough claim to be your own prophet, you can spin your own church off the main Mormon body. And it's still Mormon, capital M, Mormon. Mormonism. Mormonism. Yeah. Like, I mean, Chad Daybell is an example of that. Warren Jeffs. The Lafferty's, Warren Jeffs, FLDS, like most of these sects, there's one called the Order. I mean, there's some that are polygamous, some that are, you know, some that are like three people, some that are 100. And like, Mormonism, because it's built on prophets, it's very easy to claim prophetic authority. Yeah, right. Because you just say it. Because it's, to me, kind of feels like, like joking, but like, it kind of feels like when you bluff in poker, where it's about timing. It's about like, okay, like, what's this number from? Trust me, I just watched a documentary series. Sam Bateman. About Sam Bateman. And it seems it's like, okay, it's like he waited for a little bit. Yeah, wait for the power vacuum. And then you're like, I'm the prophet now. And then like, you just have to wait properly. Yeah. And wait till people are kind of like, what do we do next? They're like, you know, or if the, like the FLDS, the reason they became like more well known is because everybody, Wilford Woodruff is the one that said, we're not doing polygamy anymore. And then they were like, well, that's a sign he's a fallen prophet. Sure. So they wait till there's like a fallen prophet moment. And then some new dude is like, charismatic and just like, oh, it's me now. So the leaders just basically call it. They're like, I call it. I'm it. I'm the guy. It does seem like it. And when they're setting up that family, like what exactly is the benefit of being a sister wife? What is it? Besides just getting all that fucking primo dick. Jesus Christ. All that delicious, delicious. Your wife came in here and told you to be nice to her. I'm just saying. Natalie came down and she said, be nice to her. I'm being extremely nice. I'm just saying. We have to be nice to her. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. We all can imagine just getting that, oh, Sam Bateman's delicious tiny hands. With his white leather jacket. Oh, God, he's cool. He's so disgusting. God, he's so cool. And he's so fast. But he's got all those, I mean, he has like seven Bentleys. It's like clearly, you know, he figured out something. Well, you know, he's just taking money from them. Yeah. He's figured out how to manipulate people. But I mean, from a sister wife perspective, I do feel like if someone tells you your salvation is dependent on doing fucking anything. If you believe them, you'll do whatever. Like, I mean, that's like the premise of cults. So I think the sister wife thing is the same, where it's like they're born into it. They believe it fully. And they believe that if they don't, that they're going to hell. You ever try to get someone out, like explain to them, listen, this is all wrong. I'm out. My life's so much better now. Yeah. To Mormons, yes, but not to FLDS or like polygamous people. They don't even talk to you. Okay. I mean, that Trust Me documentary was so fascinating watching her slowly. Like having to literally deprogram them to even get them to the point where they're even willing to acknowledge that I don't want to be raped anymore. Yeah. And I mean, especially the scene where they're in the car, the two girls trying to get Sam Bateman out of jail. And they're like, I have never been happier in my entire life. This is exactly where I want to be. And we're basically actually celebrities. I believe that, like they're saying, I believe that I am the most important person on the planet right now. And I'm like, I'm going to be the most important person on the planet right now. that they like the feeling of first wife feeling they're powerful the chosen wife feeling yeah you know because they're a part of a new cool basically the new hip mormon school yeah like if you walk out you know if you walk out in a like i think that's yeah the the like b a being able to like rise up in a cult or in a religion is like a power trip because you're like look at how excellent i am because i'm already in the truest religion on earth and now i'm in high leadership in the truest religion on you know because there are people like you where you were so nervous it made felt like this burden like you need to be a perfect mormon yeah you seem to like feel like this tremendous burden and it seems it's those that think oh actually this makes me closer to god i like this it serves another purpose yeah i think and i think i had probably both experiences like both emotional experiences at different points yeah where like i went on a mission and i went on a mission and i went on a mission and i went on a mission and on a mission um would you go to fucking colorado okay my husband went to sweden so that's cool but don't they isn't there like a thing with where you go isn't there like uh an insinuation kind of like not anything like they kind of tell you like it's special but it's a ping pong ball out of a fucking thing but no it's like my buddy don is mormon growing up he definitely but because he could speak spanish fluently they sent him to south america they you submit a whole application and if you had like say that i had a parent who served in a certain place they might be like oh we'll we'll send you to that same place or if you learn japanese in high school okay we'll send you to japan um or often it is like literally just racial profile profiling like if you are black and you are in living in america they'll send you to africa um because you'll have an easier time converting people because you look like the people so asian mormons they'll send to asia even if they're like as white american like basically still just from america from utah christianity has taken over africa and like it's not like it was definitely white people who did that yeah true dutch and now and then well now the chinese are turning it into a gigantic cobalt mine they'll usually do they'll pair someone who is of the ethnicity of the country with a white person interesting so it like gets them almost into the door but then also introduces like this cool american religion if you told me you were from colorado i believe you yeah yeah yeah or utah i mean you have a colorado vibe but that's better than a utah vibe i'll take it's the nose ring could you ski is that why they sent you they're like she'll be great on the slopes she loves she loves going down so the reason i think i was sent to colorado is because i disclosed mental health issues and if you disclose mental health issues you're seen almost like as a flight risk where they don't want to waste a ticket a ticket to europe on you and maybe you'll be sent home early so i mean this is like most most of this is like what people you know assume the the word on the street you know there's no handbook that says this but they were right yeah they definitely they nailed it um yeah so if i had not disclosed that or like um another funny thing is only women are in the temple square mission in utah because it's like a honeypot situation so if you go walk through the temple square you'll only see like very beautiful young women i noticed that it's like very beautiful like blonde blue eye none of the elders yeah they don't let the stinky boys go no no because i hate the boys the boys are gross yep most people feel that way walking around with backpacks on and they just got done biking always i have this idea this happened to me the other day they came to my door alissa i took all of my strength to not heretic them because like our home as you can imagine excellent yes here we go enjoy have a cup of coffee is there anything you miss the book the book of mormon i did bring one oh nice did you steal it yeah good no this is my well did i bring it okay here it is i wanted to give this to you that's so sweet of you i wrote my testimony in the front just kidding this was all an elaborate ruse i'm still mormon that's the most effective sales pitch i've ever seen honestly but is there anything is there anything you're like oh fuck like that i miss um you know i think mostly uh when you leave a religion like the mormon church you're never going to be able to like replicate the sense of community because i'm kind of an orphan now from like i'll never be able to be as integrated into a social group as i wasn't to the mormon like mormon church i'm an atheist i think you're great and my family hates me now so i mean you know it probably would have anyway so i maybe i miss my family yeah well they see here's the thing they if you would have stayed they still would have hated you but they would have been currently abusing you as well yep and so like maybe just as angry that is love yeah and so you made the right choice very conditional love but like when you you know i mean i still miss like i i wish i could still walk into a room and say what i'm feeling around my family you know not that i ever like fully could but i felt like i could at least more than i do now when's the last time you talked to him um like a month ago okay it's very cordial we don't and you know i know that they hate that i'm doing all of this and especially i brought the temple clothes today oh no we're good i want to try some on that's the most heretical thing i do so i think that that specifically is what has made them the most frustrated they gotta see it though like it's for like honestly we're fucking curious sorry the rest of us are super fucking curious you don't have secret underwear then if you don't even know about it then don't have it just call it underwear yeah as soon as you say secret underwear what was like would you say the biggest cultural like hurdles you hit when you left like what was the the hardest part to kind of like that's what i loved what you did with your book i love the fact that you helped kind of be like here's a couple of things that help you not be as weird when you get into public school like when you get out of school you're like oh my god i'm amongst us i would say like um mormonism gives you so many rules that then when you leave this is a big problem with a lot of ex-mormons is it's like feels like there's no rules so um i would say like trying to adapt to okay i want to try drinking but i literally have no context for this i haven't grown up seeing drinking in movies even i haven't seen my parents do it like whether it's that or any other substances uh immodesty or like you know i never tank top before like yeah it's like that's wild too that's immodest right like it's any any inch yeah any showing your shoulders short shorts like so i think i think like figuring out the balance between like doing what always feels very radical like drinking coffee feels very radical but the celsius allowed no well uh so it is now because they kind of got rid of the caffeine rule but when i was a kid i couldn't have caffeine yes this is one of the big changes because rob brought this up before the show is with the dirty soda yes and that was what eddie was very dirty soda eddie wanted to know what a dirty soda was you don't think you do at least i can describe to him what a dirty soda is yeah it sounds kind of gross but it's basically and sonic sonic has already been doing stuff like this so it's kind of a ripoff of sonic but aren't they kind of a mormon company so sonic yeah i don't think sonic all right yeah i'm sorry i thought that swig is the uh main dirty soda company but it's usually like any soda with like a creamer so they'll put like half and half into their soda or coffee creamer or like they'll do like the pumps of the italian soda pumps type stuff like any mixin and then like lime or it's how vanilla coke got invented dude you should try it it's so sweet it's so gross it's like vanilla ice cream sometimes in your soda kind of that's cool that's a float that's a root beer yeah yeah these are all products i mean it's i feel like the it like gives me a stomach ache but i'm also not like a huge soda drinker so i mean it's not as bad as like a rum and coke still not it's not that dirty i prefer a rum and coke do you find that now like that the world seems to kind of be cracking open about mormonism and understanding like aren't they having a hard time keeping people in so apparently from a recent study i think i've heard different stats but i've heard 40 of people my age and younger leave i've heard 40 of them leave and i've heard 40 of them leave and i've heard 50 it's hard to know because like they have to be hitting on a young person problem yeah i think they definitely are and they don't want to do anything there's a subreddit called mormon shrivel yes that has like every time a church building goes up for sale people post it on there and yeah i mean i definitely think they're shrinking and maybe that's why they are now changing other rules like they change the rule about tattoos and piercings yeah that's so you fucking weak bitches you're so fucking weak well they stopped getting their money dude they stopped getting their fucking income so they gotta bend some rules catholic church doesn't give a fuck yeah pope leo he's talking about anti-ai but he still hates gay people and he doesn't give a fuck that's a fucking they got that's a cult with a spine that's where they need to get going but like yeah that must be because it's really kind of all zipping out now it's like so this actually probably puts us into a really fun good way to start this which is i find it interesting that your parents think that you talking about the temple garments is the most like like the horrific thing that you do why um because the temple is like the most secretive part of mormonism um i know that probably for you know you all like you just google it and you'd see the things online and you'd be like oh that's what it is but like for within the religion or like it feels like a cult when you start talking about the temple it's like a very well-protected secret like i didn't know anything about the temple until i went through it myself and i would even have um you know friends in high school because i grew up outside of utah they'd try to they'd be like watch this youtube video and i'd be like i know i was like no this that's sacred like so whether it's like the secret handshakes or the apron or like the the words that you know the secret words that you learn yeah there's like certain things you have to say like a passcode yeah and there's like a you don't know doesn't somebody stick like their hand through the curtain and then you go through the whole thing and you did the whole thing right the most boring secret handshake of all time unfortunately yeah i wish it was like you guys hold pancakes which well which hand there are four handshakes what's the what's the first hand so the first handshake okay the first handshake is you put you both put your thumb on like the yeah right there so like right on the knuckle okay okay so that's the second one is the valley of the knuckle valley of the knuckle which is what i normally call that the vagina of the knuckle continue i'm just saying um and then the next one you would go like this okay and i would do that to you well okay then you pinch the hand no well that's that's we do me and julie we do that to each other we squeeze this little meat right here it feels good it is really nice where did all that shit fucking i know that everything was stolen from masonry and all that kind of stuff do they but we didn't oh we didn't do the most fun hand oh please the fourth one you uh do that with your pinkies and then do this and then like that oh wait like tickle you know no yeah like that this one's actually kind of cool that's the patriarchal grip i feel like yeah you know we're gonna start off a mountain yeah i want to do that yeah yeah i want to do that with you go ahead all right so we could just sit here and here and then you put this here and there we go yeah that's awesome that feels like you're getting in yeah actually make me feel strong i do feel it feels gender edifying when we do that though like what do they tell you that is so it's in the temple they say it's the signs and tokens that you will present to the angels who stand as sentinels in the celestial kingdom got the highest level of heaven which is interesting because it's very similar to what the the buddhists do with the bardo with this idea of like physicalizing this idea of you have to there are certain steps you're gonna have to go through in order to get through and it's very like one-to-one it's not allegorical man it is the thing you're gonna you're gonna meet an angel and so that's what they're saying right is that when you die this is gonna be the same setup but it's gonna be in heaven yes and there's also so there's the handshakes and then there's the words you have to know so i like to do that and then there's the handshakes and then there's the words you have to know so i like got a new it's called a new name which a lot of religions i wish there was some latin that would be kind of fun is it just made up is it names or is it actual made up words so it's names from the bible which is you're good which is so funny because um they're supposed to be from the bible but there's like way more men in the bible than women yeah so um men so , so uh like the men's names are all things like adam or michael like these like you know awesome like the very main characters of the bible and the women will be like abish like esther esterman it's all bad names yeah grimlock you know grimlock and when you went through it did you feel anything uh mostly afraid yeah um because it gets built up so much that it's like so much in your mind as like literally the most important thing that will ever happen to you yeah um you're endowed with power on high and after you go through the ceremony and you get past the angels that's like the the ceremony that is basically your pre-entrance ceremony to becoming a god fascinating so and then what do you do after that you go like get the hamburgers and stuff like you go do all this and say like okay you just became a god let's go let's go to mcdonald's it's more like a god in utero and then you just go off and live a life yeah i mean then you are supposed to keep your covenants so you make all these promises in the temple that your covenants and then the rest of your life is kind of the test to prove you can keep the temple covenants and that you used to have to promise to kill yourself if you yeah that's i mean i didn't have to promise that to kill myself which is why i can talk about that's what we got god you're fucking got you god i got you fucking god man i can't believe there's levels to heaven go fuck yourself i know he's saying if i don't if i die poor you probably you don't is it based on money it's not platinum diamond it's not socioeconomic yeah it's not based on like your net worth at the time of death um but they do like a rich mormon they love a rich oh yeah yeah and they are always the ones who get like promoted into the higher levels of leadership but yeah we would go to the telestial kingdom because you guys are atheists um christianist even worse okay yeah well so there's change me trying to fix me so even satanist would still go to the same level unfortunately i wish there was a better cooler level for you for being a satanist no i like ah honestly it's be hell in and of itself don't bring me to mormon heaven i don't want to go so salt lake city was nice salt lake city's fine well salt lake too is so weird because you have the church hq but that's also like the most secular city in utah so there's like a huge counterculture where you can there's like this barber shop where they have the temple symbols on the barber shop is like the logo which is also like very heretical but like there's a lot of like temple middle fingers around or like everywhere a bar called water witch which is like what joseph smith was so slc has got the single of all of the places i've been to one of the most intense alt scenes oh yeah hilarious out there that's because the ex-mormon thing because like you know it's like the pendulum you kind of become like more you're like let me let me go the opposite direction i'm gonna do all the drugs we need all the tattoos yeah i'm gonna be a satanist and fuck all of this it's so much fun you guys are great um okay so we're here you have brought some temple garments yes i'd love to at least look at them okay because the only time i've ever seen them is in i'm gonna be uncouth here okay there's a series of documentary films on the internet called mormon girls with a z yes i'm familiar now that is the only way i've seen these before so please let's unsex these impossible yeah i'm sorry yeah because that's the thing is that they seem kind of like like they are very lacy okay okay so how often do you wear yeah how often you wear these um like a mormon burka mostly just okay so here's the i have here the underwear and the temple robes kind of separate things but um this is the underwear all right so now the underwear for those of you who don't know they're not watching this i will describe it i have one pair of boxer briefs they're like this is a long-legged boxer brief i like a long leg boxer brief i don't they ride up they do well yeah sometimes it's like nice because you don't have the thigh chafing i guess it's true now does that go on with no underwear with that on correct so that's first layer so this is your bottom underwear it is a little loose as a man man and woman oh so women also have the same yeah you have a little panty these are women's underwear okay so men and women wear the same underwear basically women aren't wearing underwear they're wearing this yeah i guess yes they're not wearing it's almost like a spanx thing like you know uh but also so then they also have the symbols so if you see they have like that little stitch there yes that's part of the temple ceremony got it okay so and then they come in different like fabrics too so but they're always white yes they're always white now gotta hit that i'll put it on the clown what what my question is is what does one do with i'm going to say the mormon men from what i've seen i'm just going to make a call i think they're a skid marked group of men i think that there was a group of men it's a lot of fast food i feel like if there was a group of men that would leave skid marks it would be the mormon men how are we getting these stains out i'm gonna say the baptists are worse can you speak to experience uh you know i can't speak to the experience of if mormon men generally get skid marks because it has to be a thing that's definitely side stories lpotl at gmail.com that has to be a fucking thing i'm afraid we're gonna have to get a new mormon expert yeah you might need a dude for that one no way he's wiping right yeah i mean i can't speak to that i can't speak to being a sister wife and to wilson so they got the men uh so this is the top so you wear this every day every day day and night under your clothes under your clothes now do when you wear these as well like do you have to how many pairs of these do you have um and like same as normal underwear got it yeah so and then change it every day so it's not like you can only have one set no it's not disgusting that would be hilarious i just thought it was like one set and then you should wear that forever so it falls off like it's a hell's angels leather they're clean do you want to try to put one of them on yes it might be a little small i'm gonna step out for women step out i'm gonna come right back please banter amongst no actually i do have a question about um about what's going on in the morgan community right now okay the the head dude the old guy he just died yes what's his name nelson nelson prophet president nelson president nelson so who replaced him do you know oaks yeah president oaks so what's his deal um he so he's a lawyer or he is a lawyer by trade so um that's why is getting sued in my opinion because basically he's like taking over you know the prophet basically gets to take over the reins for the church so i think nelson was a little softer okay still not that but like physically too yeah very old yeah they're all so old too this is very sexy this is great god i can see your hair through it yeah that is crazy do you want the well yeah give me maybe the bottoms they're gonna have to stay with me don't put a don't make them you're under nothing yeah go for it yeah yeah let me just we were gonna i see through this i don't he's gonna come in with his over your pants yes i don't want to yes she doesn't need to see his penis yeah no this is like come on yeah i usually just put them on over my clothes but he's going he's going hard so no bras in the morning you can wear you still wear a bra okay but like you're supposed to wear um um on basically you're supposed to wear a bra on basically under the garment or like yeah or is it sorry over the garment so the garments are as close to your skin as possible see like to be honest you it is nice it's very form-fitting i do feel like with i don't know if it's supposed to be yeah they are women's are they supposed to be loose are these yours yeah so those are well no those are a new it's a new pair so okay yeah my so i can really blow through these yeah you're welcome to they're not yeah those are like fresh out of the bag now how do you order them um you can't well you can't and now since i took my name off the rolls i can't but really yeah you have to have the special recommend oh wow so this is a collector's item it really is people go well because of the sex thing the girl's gone wild i do think people will like try to buy them online because it's like a kink wow what do you mean you know what but this is kind of it's form-fitting i feel like that i could you know a lot of the guys could use a little bit more support and i think that this is kind of nice for them this is actually kind of comfortable okay yeah they're really nice they're very um soft yeah yeah and what is that okay so so basically as part of the temple ceremony you would first receive your underwear and your new name so you get it that day you get it that day so it's all happening to you at once is that when you turn eight no that's your baptism that's the baptism so usually endowment is after 18 it's like 18 to 25 because you have to really choose yeah you have to opt in well yeah basically you you would get interviewed and you have to like pass all their questions and stuff to get the temple recommend yes and you have to do that for baptism you get an interview and then you have a separate interview for the temple and then you have an interview to get married in the church so it's like yeah constant um so what is this thing so you get so once so once you get the underwear that's called the washing and anointing ceremony you get the new underwear and the new name and uh and then you go into the endowment which is like the main ceremony um i don't you can wear this dress if you want i mean i don't know is that one yours too is that one also yours this one is for real my dress so wow so they put that on you and then that's how you walk through your dress i bet i bet this would fit you because see the holy what i had to get when i got my confirmation i had to go to the husky section yeah oh yeah yeah yeah i'm not gonna fit this no oh no i will destroy this well maybe you're a tiny woman are you sure yeah oh yeah it's very it's kind of big on me but i'm i'm pretty thick right now you know i'm creatine i work out i think if henry put it on it would explode should i put it on yeah sure we can have it makes me feel like i look good in this yeah i can see honestly gold chain i feel like this is like borderline like italian man on vacation get the chains out so they're over the top this is like really nice i miss the 1920s you're welcome to have it this is like a sleepover i'm gonna tell you i don't know if you want it back i have a lot of backups okay so so is this going out or is this sleeping this is for just the endowment ceremony so this is just so just for the endowment alissa is wearing a beautiful lace dress and she's wearing a beautiful lace dress with it's got some mother of pearl beads on it and then she's like oh you're dressing like a bride it's kind of but you would do this all the time in the temple well i love the over the shoulder lace very greek yes very air like aristotelian like that's the thing right it feels very and it is it's almost like yeah i mean it's kind of stolen it's kind of stolen from masonry but it's also for me joseph smith's little spin oh my god they have a leaf thing over the crotch yeah that's just like you're in the adam and eve yep oh yeah just make sure that nobody sees anything do you all believe in adam and eve yes yeah yeah well adam and eve were the first mormons oh they were yeah the very first mormons so where so jesus came to salt lake city no no he came to new york he came to new york actually no so um you look like you look more irish yeah you look like my babu you look like like it kind of looks your grandma babu no but you know i mean like but you look like a russian uh uh like bride woman like this is now you're a ghost this is right now i feel like i'm in the haunted mansion you're just so frightened why do they do this why do they do this to you you have to do this to become a god in the afterlife but it's just fabric how much is this so this whole get up is probably like 100 bucks it's not too bad probably more now it was 100 bucks like 15 years ago but they don't give it to you for free no so you gotta buy it and then you show up and same with the underwear so you buy your own shit you show up to your endowment and then they put the shit you just bought on your body basically yeah you're or you're like your mom would help you and throughout the ceremony you add more things so like you start with just the white dress and then as the ceremony progressed well you start with the white dress and the underwear um and then as the ceremony progresses you start adding these little pieces on wow do they all have different meanings the pieces um so this is supposed to be represent adam and eve so right about that it's a green leaf because you learn the story of adam and eve leaving the garden of eden which is in missouri which is also hilarious the idea that anybody would not want to leave missouri i've always wanted to go to branson it's so weird if branson's the garden of eden i literally turned around and saw you forgot that you were wearing that i was like i thought i saw a ghost yeah oh my god it's the nun who is this yeah i feel like uh and then during certain parts of the ceremony the women they they kind of changed it but you have to veil your face so when you chant in a circle you do this oh god hear the words of my mouth and you're doing the patriarchal grip with the person next to you and you're doing all of this for the first time and you're like what the what the fuck is happening it is you know but i actually view it as a i mean uh more cynically obviously l ron hubbard built it very specifically into scientology the xenu reveal was so specifically done to get you all the way in like he knew he knew what to do he knew to put you through yeah he learned it from the oto he learned it from other religions and that's kind of fine that interesting is that you're what you see here is the old g version of it from stolen from freemasonry of how to make somebody stay yeah and it's like you have to do so much work just like scientology you have to do a lot of work to get to the point where they even allow you to have this information yeah so by the time you're walking the walk the idea of it being silly or or dumb must do it like that's the last thing from your like what you were saying it's very fright it must be very powerful and frightening because and it makes because when you go through this you're like damn mitt romney did this my parents did this all of my closest like my all my loved ones in this entire community did this and there were okay with it so if i'm not okay with it it means i'm wrong yes because everyone i love and trust has literally done this fucking chanting ceremony which means and you've just went and have done let's just be nice here an hour of total nonsense that doesn't do anything and when you're in the middle of it and like i've read that a lot of people talking about this you're like oh this is all weird and sad and scary did you see some people who like obviously felt like they were filled with god's love um so by the time like when you do the endowment everyone else which it could be like 30 to 40 people or more like everyone else in the room has already done the ceremony got it so when you go through you and then you get this like special piece of paper that they tape onto you or they pin onto you so everybody in the room knows that it's your first time oh and so it's almost like also the like social pressure of like everyone's staring at me because they all know it's my first time like the Catholics we do it as a team you know there's like a bunch of for Holy Communion there's like you know 70 of us so we get in the cookie for the first time oh I remember the but that was also different like you know Catholic it was like I kind of felt like maybe the same where it's like a social but also like you've probably you probably saw lots of people do that for the first time and get communion for the first time before you did it yourself I saw it yeah we got to actually see you kind of visualize like okay someday I'm gonna do that and I know what's like I know what I'm gonna wear I know what's gonna what's gonna be said this is like totally blindsided yes it's done to it's done for that purpose yeah I like when I was growing up as a Mormon teenager I thought I'm basically like a non-denominational Christian just with the Book of Mormon like everything else felt like I'm going to youth groups I'm going to church on Sunday I'm reading the Bible like you were almost like lulled into this sense of like I'm just like everybody else and then you're like what the fuck oh my god it's the boiling water the frog in the boiling water yeah don't to kind of wrap this up but was there any because we do have current Mormon listeners still somehow like we still have to say there's more underwear I've actually brought some of mine from home this is the Satanist traditional Tommy John's what's a thing you're like yes because we do we do still have some current Mormon listeners okay what's so fucking sorry about this yeah like seriously but honestly what is the is there anything you could say to be like this is what helped me get out this is what I did like I bet there are some people listening right now that are scared to get out you know I find that engaging with stuff like this is almost like the pinnacle of like right before you leave because you're like oh I'm so nuanced I can listen to it and I still keep my faith but then it chips away at your like understanding of the religion and like how much I feel like most people before they leave they go through like a doubling down phase because they're like I don't want to leave I don't I can't cope with that I'd rather just go harder yeah and then they fall off the cliff that are like oh I don't believe but so maybe they're like that I don't know yeah no it's like it's like you always see like whenever like someone's about to break up with someone they make a lot of noise and they're like oh I don't believe lots of really nice mushy Instagram posts the longer the caption is the more in trouble the relationship is exactly love my babe that's always like great relationship yeah yeah it's like done or they're very like social Mormons like because it's so costly socially to leave the church I find there's a lot of it's called PMO physically and mentally out so who like I don't know what types of emails you're getting from Mormons but you were talking about too but like the lady Mormons that are like you know like the lady Mormons that are like the lady Mormons that are like doing all of the Botox all of the boob implants all of the stuff where it's like hyper hyper feminine they are being extremely feminine and real housewives of Salt Lake City like how does the Mormon church square with that fucking shit yeah I honestly I feel like it's because the religion is like for men by men and men are never going to be pissed about women trying to be hot so it does seem like that because men get no coffee you can get a boob job you can get a boob job yeah and because Mormon men I mean I do say that I was like man they have it fucking good they just get a job like if you stay in right like someone will hook you up with a job someone hooks you up with a wife somebody looks for all the men it must be hard to get men out yeah I think it very much is I mean my I was talking to a friend recently and they know someone who recently they literally moved houses because they had left the church and then found it like he he lost all of his like business contacts so they moved to a different part of Utah and like pretended like they had been active in the other ward and then they were like reintegrated so that he could get basically social contacts back that's how I said if you don't hear me for a while you don't hear from me for a while and all of a sudden I'm like you you you somehow see me under a different name as a small town preacher where I'm running a different church and doing stuff just don't say anything just imagine you're making a documentary of some yeah yeah yeah you're like you ever see me in that position just understand I'm working on something okay because obviously I've lost everything yeah yeah and also let me I'll ask you this question I was just asking Natalie upstairs okay this is got nothing to do with Mormonism this is literally just a lady question because one question okay why'd you point at me because you'll hear okay you get married at 20 years old right 21 years old yeah you're married for like a year as your your man lady dies how long are you a widower for are you a widower even if you get married again I'm confused by the question it's okay you're young man young wife you asked this to Natalie earlier yeah like how long do you have to wait before but just like are you always a widower from then on no I don't think so yeah I mean are you if you have a wife that dies you're always a even if it was the first marriage six months long you barely were married now you got a new wife you've been with her for a decade if she dies you're always a widower you're always a widower if she dies then you still love her so you're a widow yeah I mean I think you could self-describe as a widower but if that was like the first thing out of your mouth when you meet people it'd be a little hey I'm a widower this is my new wife though hey I lost the first one kept this one yeah I'm a widower yeah that's a fun sentence you're like trying to use it for like sympathy points I got widowers energy she was upset yeah yeah I don't know if that is a lady I don't think that's a lady question I thought you were going to ask me like a period question once married you are no longer officially a widower that's actually from the newest study of the new wives administration they say that you're no longer a widower yeah the new wives say fuck that bitch if you were to marry a widower you'd be a widower let's say he really loved her you've been with your husband for a while you got kids and all that kind of stuff the interview's over by the way my question is is that if you were to we'll save this what do you mean you're halfway through the nonsense I lost it I lost it I lost the edge I thought you were going to ask about polygamy because if a Mormon man's first wife dies and then he gets remarried then now he's a polygamist in heaven interesting does he want that though sealed to both well it doesn't matter if he wants it did you get married but when you were still in the church yes yeah we were married in the temple really and you both got out yeah oh are you still married to the same person yes yeah that's amazing I know that's actually very beautiful that's really beautiful honestly it's really nice and you guys all were your kids in too no thankfully we didn't have kids till after we left got it which you'd think maybe we'd be like fuck having kids we're not going to do that but you know I still wanted to have kids after leaving especially now that you got all your fucking ducks in a row yeah oh yeah and how does he now that he's out too is he still kind of just like whoa like it's how's he his transition what does he do for a living is he cocaine salesman he does PR and marketing interesting yeah um so yeah I mean we left together and we're raising our kids to be basically like atheists in Texas which is like funny because my seven-year-old will come home and be like I told everyone God isn't real and then they started arguing with me fuck yeah it's sad that is the Lord's work yes it is it's so bad honestly like sorry son the older people are going to have a real I do think that it's that gender I have a lot of hope for those kids for your kids I have a lot of hope for that generation there's no nuns anymore nuns are done well I am I have hope but I'm also afraid because they're two I have two boys and I'm worried about like the red pill neo conservative like the new conservative young men who are like bone smashing I think as long as um your husband like hugs him every once in a while yeah yeah yeah those are that's what I mean they will at least yeah they'll definitely grow up with a strong father figure who is not like that as long as you got a father that can maybe show some form of affection that might help the little boys yeah y'all are good parents you don't got to worry about that shit yeah you already make great decisions like being on the show I sure hope so yeah being on this fantastic show well thank you for having me this has got to be one of the this is I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm apologizing her the viewers I'm apologizing to everyone but I also feel like did you see the symbols did you look yeah there's a V right here yeah that's the most important part and then on the belly button too your belly button has a V oh no it's just a line yeah they all mean different things it's on Wendy what do these mean that's like was that where the tracker chip goes no that's that's your c-section oh they're all the the masonry you know like the sim the compass and the ruler they're the masonic symbols oh okay this is a kind of this is a kind of stuff I want on my own clothes I want to have a monogram but it needs to be a Z of course Alyssa you're wonderful thank you so much I'm glad people find the book so it's on I say try to get them from your local bookstore when you can but does amazon help you obviously you get it all it's all good yeah amazon yeah it's just kdp published it's self-published so great you you might not find it in a local bookstore honestly get it on amazon how to get out of the mormon like how to leave the mormon church by alissa grenfell check out her youtube it is endlessly fascinating you are constantly bringing up really cool new information about the mormon like all of like everything that us let's just say some of us are kind of obsessed with it right not saying me my wife yeah but yeah i mean you are saying that but yes so you guys do great work so thank you yeah yeah and i have a tiktok and instagram and if yeah mormon stories is great too so yes and he's getting sued john galen's getting sued yeah it's so insane after all these years how do you avoid getting sued uh you know i think it's probably coming but knock on wood i mean i think they're just waiting probably for that's how you do it you know you made it please i'll help you it's the best thing that could ever happen for your youtube channel but the greatest i mean so i'm in texas whereas like john is in utah and the courts are stacked with mormons yes so i also think the reason they're suing john and not me is they know texans like evangelicals don't give a fuck well they actually hate mormons so is john still in john delen is i think you know no he was excommunicated he's out right yeah he was in he chose to stay in but was still publicly critical as an act like as a member and then they excommunicated him in like 2018. man they really try yeah they try to go like well we'll take a little bit of it but don't you dare come from our copyrights because we will see the balls off of you because we don't care even though it's not real thank you so much hola son this was wonderful this was awesome thanks for having me so much yeah yeah i can't wait to read the book hail sweet satan yeah you know and uh hail sweet satan again just for the mormon community feels really good i think i think he prefers lucifer actually hail lucifer wow she wasn't too upset by us no obviously i honestly as soon as i saw her i'm like oh she's gonna hate me no she but she did a good you did a good job too because you didn't yell no you didn't rip off your shirt i didn't eat a bunch of food no you didn't cover yourself in all different sauces and i didn't start fucking smoking ass weed no no i mean we should have though that would have been cool we got to get her on that that's next yeah next we get her fully into drugs yeah bong rips with alissa i feel like that's what it comes down to we need to do some lsd we need to do some honestly i'd even do cocaine with her just to do it you know i've never done heroin this is the person to do this is the person because she seems responsible if i turn a mormon person or exmo with heroin i win yeah she looks like she always has narcan on her right yeah we do that too we stole it from by from back yeah yeah i do have an arcane in my backpack so if you start to seize up an arcane you're gonna have an arcane in your just be like but this is coming out next week so i might be out of an arcane yeah you might have used it because i'm going to bethlehem pennsylvania and they are gonna need it all right so go over to patreon.com slash last podcast and left to listen to us ad free you can also see movie signs with ed and i our videos over on the patreon it's fucking great hell yeah and our music our movie solid right on the money and no one has better ones no not a single person if you think that your opinion is better about film you are incorrect sir this show is not a reason for henry and i to write off our 4k dvd no addiction how dare you say that that is not what we're doing also this weekend is the end of jk ultra we're gonna be in tulsa oklahoma at kane's ballroom on july 17th and then we're gonna be in oklahoma city on july 18th and then of course if you can't make it out to either of those shows and you're so sad that you missed the jk ultra tour don't worry don't worry lpotl.kizwee.com you can watch us stream no it's not a pp channel no not anymore it is us doing our show at you from the comfort of your home and if you rent it from them it is available for two weeks so you don't have to catch it live and you don't have to catch it live and you don't have to catch it live you can just you can rent it and then check it out later it's no big deal you also if you do the vip through kizwee you get to join us for our q and a after the fact and you can answer questions so oh hell yeah that's awesome i didn't realize we were doing that we are nice and also uh if you're in texas on sunday i'm gonna be in plano uh i know texas is big but plano wants you to come see me live at the mic drop that's gonna be the comedy club does the comedy club who knows about the city i don't know if the city is always the most welcoming yeah maybe not probably not but i'll be there on september 19th you know that shit and then i got a bunch of other shows coming up i'm gonna be in chicago san francisco dc all kinds of places go to eddytoons.com to go check out where i'm gonna be next and come see me live on the road and then henry and i i'm telling you it's more than just crime wave at sea over here oh you got to believe it's crime wave all over your face go to crime wave at sea.com slash last to go and buy tickets we still got a couple of tickets left honestly very few left yeah no and you can put them on layaway come and join us in the high seas we will kill a woman together i'm sorry just because that's what happens on cruises yeah it is all right but never really on royal caribbean no they only run for whales apparently but that's just because whales are there in the way dude we always gotta get out of the way man did you hear about that no i don't want to get into it yeah i want to get it doesn't matter apparently people on the cruise didn't even notice that's how great the boats are yeah royal caribbean they even what they ran over a bunch of whales and didn't even know people still are having a great time yeah and also come check us out at midsummer scream at the beginning of august out here in long beach if you could it's gonna be a lot of fun we're gonna be selling the album doing a panel doing some signings and lots of shit just fucking hanging out selling merch you know you know the bullshit that happens at horror cons see my fucking ass over at midsummer scream hell yeah he's gonna spread his cheeks let you see the whole you really don't want to but you can though yes that will be available i'll say hell is the ground fell good work yeah bye