Side Stories: He Said, Pee Said

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes. Hey there come on get your pitting and you're putting pants. You know Eddie, I can't believe we skipped one week because we didn't skip it. We had pre-recorded episode because you were doing dates and we were in the middle of traveling. And we just happened to miss one of the funniest weeks in the entire year. That's how it goes. That's how it always is, man. Because it's just crazy to just think like I can't believe like after all this time we lost Sam Neal. Oh, you lost Sam Neal, that was really sad, you know, that one girl died at AIDS. Yes, yes, the one we had the other. Was she from, what was it from Moana? No, Moana died at AIDS. Moana didn't die of AIDS. Moana didn't die. It was a different Disney chick. Oh, it was the girl from Lilo and Stitch died of AIDS. Lilo died of AIDS. Oh, no, Davina chased her. That's what that's where I met. Yeah. We're from Johnny Darko. Oh, we've got a little girl from Donnie Darko. Well, then we should have been able to guess that one. Yeah, that was a sad movie. But what does Stitch die soon? She also Lilo and Stitch died of AIDS. Well, they both died. Wow, that's the same girl. Yes, that's the same chick. Yeah, Moana didn't die. And then the um, and then the little girl from Godzilla vs. King Kong died. A lot of little girls died. Sadly, we lost one of the most important little girls. Oh, can we ever get a lady? A true lady. A lady, a lady G. Hi. Hi, Mitch. Hi, it's gonna see you, Mitch. Oh, sorry. Thank you for joining me in here. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm actually kind of surprised. I thought heaven can be. I thought I am turning into crank. Oh, you know, I just -- Do you think they put us in them? Oh, they put us in the Mexico with hell. You think that after I died, I'd be able to talk correctly. But I cannot. Cool, I just gotta say. I hope it's Mexico. Because I've certain had a lot of Serrano peppers down in my taco home. Oh. Oh. Oh, I got into fire down under. I didn't know chlamydia followed you past the ground. Oh. Oh. Oh, I'm dying again. Oh, Mitch. I'm dying again. Let me hold your hand, Mitch. Let me hold your hand. Oh no! I just pissed out there. How did you give me kisses by your pal? How did you piss me out of my pal? Uh, television screen on camera. At this point, they should be putting a butterfly fucking net over his head. And they should be launching him into the shredder. But he continues to live. So he is right now. This whole thing happened. You see this picture put out saying, "Oh, he's absolutely fine." And he's going to, he's going to go back to work. And he's dressed in street clothes. Jeans on a hospital bed. You see that is wife who then jet as soon as that picture was gone. Even though we have not seen a video from him. Nothing. Nothing. We don't even, I haven't seen any proof that she even came home. This is, um, I am going to just go out in here because this is a satire program here. But I am also going to say because of my years reading. It is not AI photo. We know it's not an AI photo. What we think it is though, it was more than likely an old photo that was taken last time he was in the hospital. Yes, when he fell, when he actually fell last year. She goes, "You're getting a couple of these. All right, now change your shirt." And you know me, I am not even fucking joking because they knew that this was going to be a thing. Oh, they have the newspaper there. Well, if you see Mitch McConnell, but also Mitch McConnell holding that paper is part of what makes it really interesting in this photo is because if you zoom in on it, I have not been able to get a proper read on this photo or a high res in a photo in which I can actually read the words on the article. Did I know if that picture was in the photo? Yes, people have already linked like the picture and the newspaper to the date it was released. But if you zoom in on it, the words turn into nonsense syllables. Like literally like, "I cannot find a high res enough picture in which I can zoom in and actually read the words on it." Yeah, that's one thing. So I think that's where I think the conspiracy theory really falls in. We know that there is a Democratic governor of Kentucky, which is why they are sitting on this because they don't want him to appoint a Democrat as the his villain during this time period. Even though as soon as Lindsey Graham, Lindsey Graham's corpse was still hot, filled with gizmo, and you can feel that crazy Ukrainian gizmo. And he literally, they put his fucking R-worded sister in there as soon as physically possible. They really did. She had no business doing anything. We don't know. I've never heard of this bitch. All of a sudden, she's in charge. Yeah, she's just some dump-y ass fucking bitch from South Carolina, who's just about to ruin more people's lives. Lindsey Graham. She has the same taste in men. Very much so. Oh, I mean, that's the same secrets. Well, our lean is her name. Oh, yeah, I love that. I don't want to learn her fucking. Fuck her ass. But Lindsey Graham was the biggest worm in one of the biggest worms in history, in political history. He had no center. He had no soul. He had no imagination. And then when I see all of these Democrats coming out to just talk about how funny he was. But this is trying to be classy. And it's like, I'm sick of it. Fuck. Fuck. I'm sick of it, man. Shit. Say nothing. If you know, honestly, nothing. I have no respect for him. I have no respect for Mitch McConnell. I can't wait to be their screaming Baba Bowie at Mitch McConnell's funeral as well. And I'm going to go there. I can't wait. These two sackules are the right now. The only person we can depend on politically in the United States of America is the Grim Reaper. Yeah. That is the only one doing moving the needle, doing the job that we need. We need Grim Reaper. I'm going to give you his super back. Dude, I was partying in seaside heights with Julie for the night, taking a nice easy day. And then she woke me up. We were hungover, of course, because you know, we were in seaside heights. Oh, yeah. And I was sleeping in bed and she like woke me up. I didn't even open my eyes. She's like, Ed Lindsey Graham died and without opening my eyes, I was like, good. I'm going back to sleep. I'm like, what? No way. Not the lady himself because he went to, he was checking out a drone factory in Ukraine. So what do we say about? Do you think that's fishy? No, you don't think that Russia killed him, even though he was talking shit about Russia the day before. Why in the living fuck would Russia need to kill the 71 year old closeted drug addict? Like legitimately, like he is a like full on living a high pressure life, doing party drugs, all of the people that so many gay sex workers came out. Yeah. To talk about their time with him and during, during app right after his death and no one wants to talk about the fact that like he was the single most compromised man in the United States government besides the president himself. You know that poppers is also Mitch McConnell's nickname. No, it will, it was ladybugs. Yeah, ladybugs. Oh, no, the lady G is no, is ladybugs. A ladybugs, Ed. Do you not know? I know lady, ladybugs for what? For Mitch or for Lindsey? Lindsey Graham. So I know lady G. No, yeah. So lady G was one of the common nicknames of Lindsey Graham. Yeah. The other things that he amongst his constituency that he paid for, including the many sex workers who have seemed to have been completely supported by Lindsey Graham. Like it does enough. Oh, I gave to their GoFundMe. I'm really worried about that. Me too, because what are they going to do because they're just going to spell all of the D, right? And so the reason why his his new name ladybugs came out is because of a supposedly debunked confession from a sex worker that I do not, I don't think I think it's real where he was getting bottoms, Ray Lindsey Graham. And when he was nude and he spread himself over the bed and spread his bottle. He had these moles on his tank that he called his little ladybugs. Oh, cancer moles Eddie. It was a while ago at this point. It was a while ago. And so they blow on it for good luck. No, I think that they, uh, I think they did the thing. You remember the thing, you know, when you were like fat and, um, music class and school and you got the it was just the wood thing that the, the honeycomb thing. Oh, the only thing you could play. Yeah, that was just that was his thing. The thing thing. Yeah, he's more like the ladybug from, uh, bugs lives. Yeah, yeah, you're doing it. Come on. No, it's probably like, hi. Yeah, come on me if you want. Yeah, that's fine. No one else cares if they come on me or not. Oh, man, go ahead. Come on me. And then all you got that borscht flavor Ukrainian gay sex worker calm has to truly be so unique. Maybe just that's what killed him. Well, maybe, maybe he actually was cleaning himself with his Disney world bubble wand. He was so sad. He was so sad alone in Disney world. Because, you know, I've seen so many homosexual men alone in Disney world. You think they'd all band together with him? Yeah. No. I mean, as someone who's been in Disney world alone, it's great. But the, uh, but if Lindsey Graham was with you, he would ruin it. I think that's why he was alone in Disney world. The problem though is that it doesn't sound like a daddy. It sounds like actually one-on-one when he wasn't being a total s*cked-you-fant-f*cking-horror to everything that's evil. He was actually kind of funny. Who cares? But I'm saying that Disney, you guys would have just been like, you would be like, oh my god, I got the Latin line for blah, blah, blah. Like you would have to, honestly, I bet you him, you and Lindsey technically at Disney would have a great time. Because you know, he knows how to use all the apps. Oh, you know, yeah. Well, he probably, he's got the plaid. I'm sure. He's got all the stuff, but you know, he's doing the same shit that you do where you guys go because like, Natalie's like that. You guys do, you guys are sick. All the Disney people are sick. You got to, it takes like six months of planning to have one day at that stupid ass park. That's fine. He's put the, he put the information and you, you clock out, you hit it. There's nothing casual about drawing yourself six months ahead of time. You can't book anything if you don't book six months ahead of time. You're not doing anything. It's got another right people. No, I don't do it. Like Mickey Mouse? Yeah, Mickey Mouse. He's got all the connections. Was that his corpse? He's in space mount. Oh, yeah, that was a picture of him. Kate, but I'm they're going to launch his body. Honestly, I feel that his, that would be very bad debris. I think that's bad for space. I don't think you should be up there. I think he's going to get one of our guys from Russia's sick. Oh, man. Well, you know, glad he's dead. Well, you know, it is really, really nice news that he's dead. And when Mitch McConnell's dead, final, when he is dead, he's brain dead. So yeah, there's nothing going on there. For those of you who've been brain dead, we've watched them shut down. And by the way, you know, Bill Cosby's, you know what's going to be like, he was funny. You know, but he was funny. Bill Cosby actually was funny. Bill Cosby's an actual comedian. We are taking away from the actual funny pedophiles when we call Lindsey Graham funny. Don't take that from Bill Cosby. That's his life. He's supposed to be. That's his main thing when he's not raping. He's hilarious. All right. Same thing. Lindsey Graham, he should have been busy working instead of fucking doing material and fucking gay sex workers at the time. If the Democrat wanted to be fucking cool, then it'd be like, Lindsey Graham passed away today. He's responsible for the deaths of thousands, maybe millions. Yes. This is the guy that would sell, but he'd sell your grandmother to Israel for fucking a penny. He would fucking. He can't wait to. He would make sure he killed every gay person that existed besides himself and his pack of horse. It's the only thing he cared about. Lindsey Graham fucking rest in shit. That's right. But it also mixed McConnell said the same Mitch McConnell. He has now been. Oh, yeah, he said. So the I still his last words. We also United America. And according to like international standards, you know that a proof of life picture does not count. What do you mean? Because certain communist states like people like Russia and these. So they famously would use proof of life pictures and these things. And they would manipulate them. They've been. But they've since Stalin's time, right? And so the idea of a proof of life picture doesn't count internationally. That's why everyone saying we want a video and how hard is it to look into a camera and say, hi, my name is Mitch McConnell. This is July 21st. I'm alive. Like that is all you got to do or a video him getting ready to come in a work or getting all like anything, any single thing. What about it? Like, all right, how about this in the hospital? Like in trouble if they're lying about this? No, everybody. No, because it's the family holding it. No, it's, you see, Eddie, what we're seeing here is that what he's taken up a hospital room with the current administration is teaching every single person an authority is that unless you can have other people say there's a crime happening as well. Yeah. It don't in no longer matters. It requires the governing bodies of these places to admit that something's going on. And that's the problem. There's no independent way. The Democratic governor. I don't know his fucking name. I don't even fucking care to know his name. He's also just sitting on his hands. He's writing strongly worded Twitter messages. He's just acting like he's some kind of girl in fucking high school show up at the fucking hospital. He was a real fucking man. He would be in the lobby that day saying, where the fuck is Mitch McConnell? I want to see him, but a mirror under his nose and show me he's alive. Where's my goddamn employee? But no one gives a fuck. All right, no one gives a fuck. So we are sitting here waiting because no one wants to because Democrats believe in a polite society, which has been destroyed. And Republicans are literal mouth breathing Nazis looking to destroy the very fabric of the country in order to make themselves permanently in power. They don't fucking give a fucking shit. So this guy, he's, we already know that Laura Loamer said he she heard he's brain dead. I believe everyone here want to believe her. There's also a psycho is the worst person you want to hear like the facts from, but there it's just the truth. We also a lot of people are saying there's another several two different agencies, but what's it? Bashir? Democratic over Andy Bashir. The guy that is the governor of Kentucky. Okay. With some people are trying to say he's going to run for president in 2028. And as far as I'm fucking concerned, if you can't fish out a dead pedophile, then you shouldn't be president either. Also, like what, we want the whole fucking country to be like a ducky. Fuck you. Fuck that. What are you talking about? And so we, sorry guys. Yeah, fuck that shit. And so he's saying that he's heard from several sources that McConnell is at least brain dead. He's at least sitting in a vegetative state, just rotting. And no one has the balls to do something about it. Yeah. And that's why I think it would be the funniest thing in the world for some nurse to take a picture and send it out to the world. It'd be really nice to someone who fucking cares. I'll pay for your jail. I'll pay for I'll help you. If you could, if someone can leak the information, I will help you get money, okay? I will help you get money. I will figure it out for you if you can help leak this information because there's no way he is going to look in better shape in that picture than he did before he went into the fucking hospital. - Impossible. - It is impossible. - They would show us him. - If he looked fine. - He is lying. - Of course it is lying. - Was it capable of lying because he's dead? - He's, well, it's the only thing he's capable of. - He's lying in the bed. - Yeah. - He is completely dead. And so someone needs to have the balls to go and push his corpse out in front of a fucking camera. All right, so can someone please go do that? And anybody, if you even think of defending any one of these guys to me, you can absolutely see yourself out. - Yes, they need to die. - Yes. - He needs to die. - Fuck him. - Yeah. - You know, honestly, I was blown up. - Oh God, I got nothing. - Like it went up, it was blown the fuck up. If you wanna hear other fun topics like this, go into a CR live show. We're still selling the VOD of our last ever JK Ultra show. - The one in Oklahoma City at the Tower Theater. It was a lot of, dude, I feel like it was one of our best shows. - We had so much fun. - We went on a long two. We were riffing and we were having some fun. It was, yeah. - We wanted to show everybody just like, you know, this is our show. It is like loose and live. And I just was so happy, the crowds were fucking great. Kane's ballroom is legendary. - Oh my God. - And so if you're ever, if you're in the Tulsa area, see as many shows as you can. - Yeah, go to see whatever it is. Oh, to shout out to the church studio for showing Henry and I around and giving us all that primo Leon Russell history. - He was fucking awesome. - It truly was wonderful. And so you can go and get our last show. You could still get a belief for another like week or so. - I think it's like 10 days left, something like that. - L-P-O-T-L dot kizwee.com, which is a weird name. It is K-I-S-W-E. - Yeah, so L-P-O-T-L dot K-I-S-W-E dot com. Go watch the last JK Ultra ever. It's fucking done. And then there's like add-ons and shit you could do. There's like a five dollar add-on if you want to see the Q and A. And then the tour shirt is available there, which was only we were only selling on tour. - Yes. - So check that out if you want to get that there. And also go and subscribe to L-P-N-T-V YouTube right now. I'm doing the plug right now. I need you to go over there because vampire and the masquerade for us, it is coming out. Season two is coming out very shortly. Led by Marcus Parks. We all have a blood bath 77. We it is going to be fucking amazing. And you're going to need to watch it for our next season as well. - Yeah, I know. Yeah, just like how you love, but you're turning in the marvel. Our stuff's better. It's an hour long of stuff. I also, my fucking, you can wear it for fuck all of you. It's only thing you guys care about is your easter egg, your horse shit and one of you care about anything. - While you're over there, check out HGX2 season two. It was fucking incredible. I'm so proud of that. I want to keep that thing moving. So watch that as well way over there. Let's cut to some fun news. Now this guy, this was a funny ass story that I wanted to cover or that we didn't get to because we were gone. - Yes, this was, we both pulled this one aside. - I love this. - All right, so this flight instructor, Leandro Andrés Brutazo, 42. He's found dead following this incident in which he jumped out of a flying plane to his death, leaving the student he was teaching to fly to land the aircraft by herself. Now that shows you, number one, incredible trust. Yeah, I don't know if it does. - He'll be like, "Listen, I have a good thought to say." You fly a plane like no one I've ever seen. I know that you'll fly a plane so good. I must die, but I have completed my job. Time for the ultimate test. - He's gonna be like, "It's so fun." Just go like, "Hey, this has really been great." All right, I'll see you. So this is crazy. - You know what you have to do. Carry on for his exact words. - Yes, you know what you have to do. Carry on. - 22-year-old Rosario. - Took off his headset in his seat belt, and he opened up the door, jumped out of the plane. He was at Waterville Alvarez Director of the Flying Paracord-Doba Flying School, where Bertasa Work told the newspaper, "There are no signs of the pilot was planning to throw himself off the plane." - Yeah, because then how do you get in plane? - Well, he wouldn't be able to get in the plane if he was showing, if he was practicing jumping out of it, while he was like sitting on the ground. If I was a pilot teacher who was planning on killing myself, I would show no signs. - That's how you get away with it. - That's the key. - You wanna make sure they let you take off. He even did a whole lesson right before. - He did. - And he completed the lesson. Do you think that they were like really bad? And he's like, maybe he, I think this shows, it really does that Rosario. I think this is a great advertisement for Lady Pilots. - Exactly. - Yes, I think this is huge for Lady Pilots. I think the guy before it, you know, he's taking the lesson and the guy's like, you know, almost glad I could fly a plane and like, he's stupid ass chicks. And then Brutazo is just sitting there just like, "I cannot believe I teach this man." And then he's got, it's such a bad lesson. And he's just like, "God, this is just why do I do this? "They do not learn, they do not see how do I continue to teach." Because, you know, like maybe the flaps fell off or some shit or he came in sideways. And then finally, it's up there with Rosario. And he's just watching her perfectly fly. And he's like, "Yeah, he's a woman kind of replies." (laughs) "Yeah, it's not a reply. "The man I wish her to be every mind." - Dude, jumping out of a plane has got to be the best way to do it. - What do you mean? - Can I yourself? - Yeah, why? - And take some time and you really get to reflect while you're flying. Lucy gets to enjoy like flying down there. I think a building would be more scary. A bridge would almost be more scary, but a plane, I feel like by the time you got to the ground, you'd be like, "You know what? I'm ready." - I've always wanted to do nitrogen poisoning. - Oh yeah? - It's like one is where you just go sleep, don't wake up. - Is that like the suicide box or cube? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - That's what I do. - Yeah, you like to press the buttons. - Yeah, I like buttons. - I also like buttons. - I'm sort of, I wanna be able to choose the music. - Oh, it's gay. (laughs) - 'Cause that's the thing. You cheer on the music and it's like, ♪ Desperado ♪ ♪ Will of you ♪ ♪ Consciousness ♪ - It's only Eagles songs. - Oh yeah, of course. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh yeah, of course, yeah, no. - How was it a proprietary deal that they did alongside their residency at the Spirit? - They've decided, yeah, it is only the Eagles. Joe Walsh years that are specifically dialed in for the suicide boxes, so hopefully you like, I mean, obviously, run on empty is great. - Well, not if you're the suicide box. - Why? - 'Cause you need the nitrogen to kill the people. - Oh, I mean, you're running on empty then. (laughs) - It's Jackson Brown, oh, fuck. - Well Jackson Brown wrote the song, the Eagles did the song. And then, well, Jackson Brown wrote it for the Eagles and then he did his own version. - Really? - Look it up! (laughs) - I actually, I do believe it. - I believe it. - And he says, I believe it, yeah, I do believe it. - Oh, man. - Yeah, it's, oh, not the Eagles. No, it's not the Eagles, honey. We're running on empty. Where's it? Oh, take it easy. - Take it easy. - That's it. - Okay, all right. - Yeah. - Rob is corrupt. - Sorry, Rob. - He, he, he, he, he outstep father shit. (laughs) ♪ Running on empty, running on ♪ - Yeah, that's, yeah, I mean, that should be on there. Jackson Brown is, it could be an easy addition to the, yeah, that's when you go to Suicide Box Plus. - Yeah, and you do their proprietary app at 79 a month, you get, you get your own playlist of hand-picked, special Suicide Those Songs, like Jackson Brown's running on empty. - The loadout. - The loadout, wipeout. - Oh, but yeah, that's a good one. What's a good, oh, the good Suicide Song. - Pipeline. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would also probably, - Sleepwalk. - Hmm. ♪ Bam, bam ♪ - Yeah, maybe nice. - Yeah, I just gonna hear the news. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's great. - The bomba. - Wow, yeah. - Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. - Oh, that'd be great. That was a fun one. It's a bit of a fiesta. - So that's why that was just a fun story because the idea of someone just mid-job, just literally just being like, you know what, I quit. (laughs) You know what, this sucks. Okay, I'm gonna go see if a cloud can catch me. (laughs) Just the, just like, yeah. - Oh man. - And then you know what she nailed it and she, that shows Rosario, was correct. And if I was that flight school, I'd immediately graduate her. - Also, of course she immediately graduates. And I'm the only, put her first name in there to protect her. Uh-uh, last name, she's getting every job in the world. - That's what I'm saying. - Unless, of course, you're the most higherable motherfucker ever. - What if she did a bad job plan to the point? - It's her first time under pressure. I'm fucking proud of her. (laughs) - You know what the do. (laughs) - Bye bye. (laughs) (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) - It's a fucking, it's a ground like a fucking javelin. - Oh yeah. - That's gotta be fun. - So there's a lot of fun stuff we gotta get to here. There's the guy who cut his penis off. - Okay, this is a good story. - Yeah, yeah. - It's a great story. Everybody loves this one. So, again, it takes a man. It comes out of beautiful, beautiful Indiana. No way. - Yeah. - On May 6th, a guy was charged with arson. - He loves arson there. - They do. - But the thing is that normally they don't waste it. Like this guy did. So this guy he was charged with Orson after and I like it's because the police had to say that he did this is that he cut off his own penis Dousa with gasoline and let it on fire in the garage of his mother's house and he left it in Fort Wayne, Indiana Would you I think is this might be the third time this happened in Fort Wayne? I will say this guy showed as much poise as Rosario. I seriously cut your penis off and you still take the time Bleeding out the hole in your front dip dip it in kerosene. You let it on fire You put it in a trash can and then you tick-tock wait for the fucking cops. Yeah, but you just well he ran away They they because he obviously who's bleeding really badly. Yeah, so when the cops came he had to go to the hospital Well, you could die. Well, you know, you they fix it, right? Yeah wine cork. Oh wine cork So I thought it was they put a cigar out on oh, no, no, no, that's in Missouri That's out of Missouri. You got to get to if you don't have insurance. His name was Christopher Payton 36 years young Payton he said he told police that he was to catch your knife to cut off his penis. Well, he was in the garage So he's I mean he made enough sense there those as generals. Maybe he got the nuts, too I don't know you know what it is is that to me if you're cut I up truly I think it was just the penis because the penis looks like a wick. Yeah, well depends if it's working or not I think balls because balls don't pop off like too little you know, they're coiled up stuff in there Well, if you got a kitchen knife, you can really hack at it But I think they'd spell out. I don't think you could set fire to it. I think be too liquidy I think a penis could actually be separated enough from the liquid. I understand what you're saying But also you dip it in kerosene. You said anything on fire correct you set water on fire But anything is easier to dip The paint the severed penis in the kerosene. Yeah, then just like because I feel like you think he dipped he didn't Put on top. No, I think he did you think he dipped. I think I think this is a I think it's a softer I feel like if he dipped you would let his fingers on fire. No, not necessarily if he Let go of it real fast. He does look like a dipper. No. Yeah, he does step big Dipper Look at him. Look at that little smile. You know, he If you were to ask me to draw the guy who cut his penis off and set it on fire as They are devices at on fire. I might be there only just because He's one of those that if you cut his face in half he'd look like two different kind of guys He does look like There was a time when he had his shit together. I feel like this is a man who used to have everything and now it's all gone That's a man that's been through several rabbit holes that has led to this. This man is he weirded out everybody at January 6th Yeah, they're like he made me be angry when he showed up and he ran I mean like he's one of those guys everywhere he goes. Everyone's just like whoa. Oh come on guy. Whoa, let's Little bit less. Yeah, I mean, you know Did he really hurt anybody himself? I guess the fireman had to do something. Hey, dude I feel I honestly mostly feel bad for them because of how Difficult this life is in general. Yes. Oh, yeah, for sure if you get to the point where you got to cut off your dick And set it on fire and put it your mom's trash can. I mean your life's bad. You know, I just feel like there's so many more efficient ways To do that. Oh, we're at his Facebook page. Oh nice. Oh, look at that from far away. Yeah, look I actually actually Yeah, he's got a nice little haircut. What date is that we as that nice haircut? 22. Oh Things have been things a lot of things have been hard last four years. Yeah, I think he I think he used to be fine What was that is that a funny or is your band oh is your is your oh is your band fire fucking doubt it. Yeah AI meme on there some kind of meme on there. It's preaya. All right. This is Pre-eye promises. I won't get all political later if we can trust like guards to save people We can trust them to drown people. They deem worthy of death share if you're comfortable letting lifeguards be the judge jury and Executioner. It's a funny You guys it be real close. That's nice You know, I think I feel like he's going to Have some time to be in jail. Yeah, and I think that this is a really good opportunity for him to reflect Upon what he's done And now that his penis isn't there anymore much like uh Ticari I know we just asked this question before What happens does it just like fountain out when you pee or like I actually think you get a receptacle or something like Maybe they stick a little tube in there and then you go Yeah, you have to piss out of two. I think yeah, I think you got to go bag Once you cut your penis off. I don't think I think it's a second. Rob you ever find a penis in the plumbing Well, I was I was not sure what you were gonna ask me right here I was so nervous for second You believe the death after you're this is according to the internet It's actually quite difficult to bleed the death from your penis hole apparently it's saying right here is that The problems are too many knowns are like I wonder if a person without knowledge and tools cuts off some of these penis and then doesn't call an ambulance immediately Is there a chance a person may not bleed it out within a short time. So let's read it. This is um. No, this is actually really weird place You want to see if you want to see yeah, you found the penis Whoa, no penis. That's not him. This is someone just losing their penis. Yeah, these are other people who cut their penises off This is a rob. Okay. Just get it off of there. Yeah, Rob. I can't see that anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm got to go away. Rob turned uh. Yeah, you got to put that safe search God Maybe for you so much I think you're maybe it's up. I was ready for my penis to go away. Maybe you're not you're not Yeah, maybe I'm bored with this boy. According to Andrew Assuming the person is not taking anti-coagulants. It's actually quite difficult to bleed to death from this member of small members hands, feet, penis, ears, nose Even large members such as arms and legs are often survivable because the body is very good at predicting itself from blood loss For example, transected arteries will spasm and clamp off blood flow and loss of blood will cause the body to divert blood flow away from the extremities into the vital organs Therefore slowing the bleeding and allowing it to clot In fact, the whole shock process can be viewed as a set of defensive measures by the body doing sure survival and the face of serious injury This is a bitter lesson learned by emergency medicine only fairly recently and I think it's really amazing that some people were like Uh, I got equal. I'm capable of I'm getting downloaded for this When the EMT's found in there they asked somebody's name was he said Christopher and they said no You Nick Write it down You can say if you're an EMT and you come across a guy you can use that that one's free. Yeah, that one's free for you I love my EMT make them all laugh. Yeah, come all laugh You Nick, you know, well, that's really a hole. We're at. Yeah, or unique unique if he's from Greece Oh, this is yeah, I think that this guy Is got a long road ahead of him, but at the end of that road He might just find himself Love in the life that he's fine Lily Christopher Pieden can't do it no more. No more. Yeah, he's gonna be sitting to Pieden Very very soon Here's another Pieden I'll tell you that much. Yeah, absolutely now you got one of those So this is another funny story I love Mountain Dew. Yes Not as much as this guy. I got one that's attached to this that we didn't I didn't clear with you But I want to bring it up after this can't wait. Yeah, so this takes place in port of potty town USA Kansas City Oh, yeah, Kansas shitty. Uh, now this is July 14th the same day Mitch McConnell went down. Oh Maybe this guy's something to do with him has to be cruise with patriot portable restrooms They were collecting units after an event it was for it was for World Cup So it's kind of an international yeah, and so the guy came out he made a little video interesting the name of the port of potty company because most people who call themselves patriots are full of shit. Yep Got him got him got him got him right it down to use that one the empty. Yeah, that one too in case you got a guy with a American flagship down his throw fucking joking And death a lot of rotters fixation inside of port of potty so this guy There's a guy from the port of potty place. He comes out and he makes his video and he's like all right, so we were closing down for the night And I had no idea that this was even obviously this makes sense before you pick up all the port of potty You got clear him. So he said that that night, you know, you know, they can say it overnight Yeah, you don't want a port of potty of a full of shit on the truck bed But no, and no, I mean for people. Oh, you got to like yeah, yeah, yeah, you had a check to make sure So he came up in the morning before he was loading them all up He knocked in every one of the port of potty's and he said, you know, I'm trying to make sure and there was one all one of them was locked from the inside I was like yellow. Hey, what's going on here? And the guy's like They're in here. Yeah, and he's like well, you know, you've been there all night And so we need to get you out all right, so he's kind of get out. He's like you bet your my way out Right be waiting for like an hour an hour. Yeah, knocked again They said you got a fucking get out of here, man We got to work. We're loading it up and he's like this is our plastic box. We got to go. This is our public restroom I do like he used restrooms. He went to collect the restrooms, right? He doesn't call a port of potty because I think that's I think that might be a brand Yeah, I Texas are toilets turlits turlits turlits turlits turlits so they Finally, he's like hey Can't reach door So you're gonna have them need some help Can't reach door in there and they're like what the fuck do you mean can't reach the door here So they unlocked it right they do the thing that they breached it and they just see his head Poking out of the toilet. He's covered in shit and he is courting to him. He told them well last night I dropped my mountain dew bottle in here and I crawled into the bottom here to get my mountain dew bottle out of it And I scutt stuck in here last night And I stayed in there now again. I set up top. I love mountain dew. Yeah, but I do have a feeling Or something else in that bottle. Yeah, maybe because he went down there to look for it mountain poo mountain dew do Yeah, well now it's mountain dew And so the fire department had to cut him out of it. Oh, his head is head. Yep. Yeah, the ants of Durag is gonna literally He's got to do rag on. Oh my god. That's a funny old term for it And he cut they had to cut a hole in it and he was like refusing to come out They like saw these slats in it and he's like oh, can't come out Well, it's like you obviously can come out and he's like okay, I'm gonna come out And then when they finally had to go in and they're all covered in human. Yeah, sometimes you get in somewhere and you can't get out of it I know I do understand that this man in his shoulders. You know shoulders are weird. Let's say this guy You're right the arms up and then you got what you get in there. I still feel like Eddie this guy Wasn't you think he's lying? I think he might not have been helping because they cut the slacks out And he kind of does this sort of a board of like oh, I can't get out man Oh, I can't get out and they were there all these firemen if you watch this whole video They're all like dude you absolutely can fucking gut out. We know you can get out and because he wanted them to come in there and Pull them out. Yeah, so they pulled him out covered in human fucking shit and then they hooked up the fire I was just fucking clean them off. So like blast him with the fire. I'm gonna clean them off like a microscope from UHF I know it's disgusting But that must have been a little fun. I mean, yeah, they hit a man covered in shit with the fire That's just all you only get to do that like two three times your whole life. Yeah, you know, I that's that's a big one You know, I honestly would like to check that box. He we could do this He they washed him off and You know, I don't know what they're doing with him now I love the porta potty the guy who works for Patriot porta polis who posted it his name's Matt Vonswold. Oh, yes Yeah Oh, it's like oh like the world's worst fraggle. No, this is the thing is that he refused Now I'm in here. It is he is you should be like, no, I can't I was trying to close it. Yeah, because he knows yeah, I think there's a little part of him that is afraid of being arrested Which I do understand but also like I mean if you like it these are the last moments This is what happens like when I walk hardly hardly likes her walks, you know And whenever we get close to the house, she starts dragging because you know She's gonna go home soon. I think that's what he's doing here. Yeah, I think he's he's a lot like Harley Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, they had to take that hump off of him He's so used to having the hump on him He doesn't realize he doesn't have it anymore. That's why he could tell it fell in That's why he fell into the home usually stops him because he's done this how many times Yeah, and he's used to the home stopdap and then before getting in there But once they once the vet carved it off because he got it done for free over there He slid right through like he was a linguine noodle What's what's worse this guy or the dead baby in the porta-bottom? Oh, this is no dead baby dead baby is much worse. Yeah, they are the dead baby sad. Yeah, this is aggravated Yeah, he's a lot. Yeah, he's like alive and fine This is literally a pain in the ass like baby ruins your fucking life You know, so they are still very actively looking for the mother from that scenario and there were several people like it was kind of sad There were several people trying to identify the mother from footage from whatever one showed up fat left skinny, but It's literally like there's several I saw several posts on mine of people being like this must be the lady you gave her and I was like I don't know. It just seems like a lady who might have lost a lot of weight just leave the lady alone Okay, there's a reason to single out these women like they're keep trying to say they're signaling out women I'm sure at electric forest festival. There's like multiple people there where you could be like that must have been the dead baby Yeah, they're like no actually know my baby my baby died in the hospital You know like I don't know actually know my baby died by the month in All right, so I got a similar story here this guy didn't go to the porta-bottie This is a this comes from a Morgan Wallen concert and this was over in Baltimore at the M&T Bank stadium on July 18th There's a family they wanted to go see Morgan Wallen because you know they suck and so they went to go to the Morgan Wallen concert and During the concert it was a it was a man his wife and their niece and During the concert there was a guy behind them was really annoying and then they like you know Hey, man, you know stop being such an asshole and then the guy whipped out his dick and he started peeing on the whole family Hey, and you wanted to go see Morgan Wallen That's what you get and so the wife was like hey, I Think whatever that guy's doing. It's all over my leg and And then the guy turned out at the true level of detachment Just not think that anyone would ever urinate on you literally the quote is whatever that gentleman is doing It's on my leg unbelievable like not even like can't even because if she Thought that it was urine. Yeah, she'd be person of length Yeah, so the husband said at that point I kind of see him like bent over out of the corner of my eye So I turn to look he's got his genitalia hanging out and He's urinating all over the back of my seat my wife's leg my leg and my niece and they don't fight him I would have been on top of him In the face. So so they were they took the high road. They went to the cops the cops Like it's not what we could do about it. Yeah, you deserve it the cops Yeah, well people pee all right, listen, we don't know that he peed We can only say that you said you he peed and so we have no evidence So we can do nothing. I love better than getting more assault at a fucking Morgan Wallen concert that's so Funny the idea that they like what I love it's like of all the things to like play lawyer about like all of a sudden It's been like did he actually piss on you or not and they're like I rake of pass I'm covered in year and it was like that could be yours You could have brought it in a bottle and squirted yourself with it in order to frame this gentleman This kind of looks like a normal fan of country music, you know cops said we physically didn't see it so we can't arrest it You know, right we all covered each other and piss and then said he did it. Yeah, you're right You know, I like about this is that so often you never get to see like the probe the privileged experience this style of Policing before where people just don't where they just look at you and like couldn't fucking care less It's covered in urine like that is so touch me. That's so funny Because these are people that obviously they got money. They're like they think that like all World's gonna fucking stop because someone's pissing on him and these guys are like Yeah, uh, you know, you wouldn't believe his one time like like you're saying that this is real like let's just say There was one time a fellow police officer of mine He pranked me by putting a live do-do inside of my own pants while I fell asleep on my lunch break That honked in me for the rest of my life, and I will not stand to watch a man get falsely accused again Releasing his extramir I had no evidence. I was no. I had no evidence Not I'm the judge had no mercy All right, so you think I'm gonna lay down on line for you. I'm certain you smell like piss before you came in here You piss-filled woman you piss-filled horror You fucking dirty fucking you're in fucking witch You know what the guy said I'm the problem the one who peed on them That's working wall and song I had to look it up because I refused to know his music. Oh good It's got a lot of listen so people might know the reference, but I refuse to listen so that I don't you know I had to do the joke like that. He's like he's music you punch your pregnant girl friend, right? Like that's what it is. I actually know I think he's smothering music. Oh, yeah, no, he's smothering. He's yeah bunching's to a beat Oh, yeah, that's normally what I'm listening to sludge hammer by Peter Gabriel This is like the second time something like this has happened this month someone shit at a Noah K-hand concert in the crowd Oh, okay, and then like just What about their business Olivia Rodrigo took some shit recently because this is something that happens at concerts There's people who are really crazy and they wear diapers and they go to the front of the stage And they don't want to leave because they don't want to lose their spot So they just like the people who are pressed against this front of the stage are refused to leave often are covered in their own piss and shit I you know, it's not really right. Yes. This is real. This is something people do it like music festival New Year's Eve everybody's a New Year's Eve at the ball drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then so I heard that because in New York, they're not a lot of lead. That's it's the same thing Yeah, but yeah, yeah, cuz you want you leave you on the front, you don't get you don't get to stage anymore It takes ten hours sometimes just to see Olivia Rodrigo face-to-face. Look at the fucking shit. Olivia Rodrigo complained about an interview And then everyone shit on Olivia Rodrigo. I'm like, I think she has a right to say hey don't piss and shit yourself for my show. I literally I'm gonna say this for last podcast on the left. If I know that you are wearing a diaper voluntarily to watch our show, I'm going to single you out, I'm going to pull you on stage, and we are going to collectively shame you unless you have an actual reason to wear the diaper. I know I don't give a fuck, that's disgusting. - Yeah, I'm going to need some, I'm going to need a little doctor's note. - That is disgusting, I can't believe that, I don't refuse to believe that's real. - Oh yeah, no, it's something that happens all the time. I believe in cash pretails, UFO dump, more than I believe in that. - Yeah, yeah, it was the guy that Noah Cajon who Rob was talking about, he said, "If you have to poop at a show, please dear God, "go to the bathroom. "I've pooped my pants as much as the next 29-year-old, "but you guys gotta understand, "there's a venue worker out there "with a thousand-year-old stand." - How often are we shitting our fucking pants? (laughing) - Like, that's the other part, do they just leave the diaper? And like, make it someone else's fucking-- - How often are we really pooping our pants into adulthood? - We need to bring the price of constitutes down. - Maybe we got to crack them all the way up. I have no idea, I don't know. Like, I don't know what's going on here, man. - This is insane, all right, you know, we've talked about it on the show. I actively sharded myself. - But that's an accident. - I sharded once, I've done it way more than once. - Your whole life, you only sharded once? - Well, that's very impressive. I let you say I got to the toilet every single time. I pretty much always, every time I've shed, I've shed all over a toilet seat and I've sat in it. - I've definitely put a couple of times. - Two pairs of underwear and a trash can. - That's different, yeah, I've sharded, sharding. - Sharding is-- - It's an accident. - An accident. - It's an accident. - Shitting your pants on choice is insane it. - I imagine it's mostly pp, 'cause I feel like shitting you can hold. - Well, she also put it this way. If you're pissing, if you need to piss that bad too, take off the pants. - Take off the pants. - Shitting on the floor. - Oh, maybe that's what happened with this guy at the Morgan Wall in concert. Maybe he just didn't want to leave a seat because he needed to hear, I don't know, let's look at him on the phone. ♪ There's knuckle marks on my mom ♪ ♪ And I put 'em there last night ♪ - Yeah, whiskey goes, I wish. ♪ I could fuck her like my father does ♪ - Yeah, maybe he was singing, yeah, yeah, I got better. - I'm as easy. - Yeah, piss the world for so long. - That was this excuse for pissing you. - I got better. - We got a couple. - You got worse? - I got better. - Honestly, this brings us all full circle to what I wanted to talk about where you weren't on the plane yesterday, two days ago, and we were coming back from, we were coming back from where the fuck were we just, we were just in Oklahoma City. And so we were coming back and I wasn't on the plane and boy, my arms tired. - That's 'cause you were joking off until you fell asleep. - Yeah. - I had an experience where, I try not to look, you know? But a very little girl and a very old woman, woman went into the bathroom together. - Okay. - And then he came out, I don't know who did it. But the only way to describe it is it felt like I, like it felt like fucking like Gary, like what's his name? Like it really felt like you just took the worst horrific dump of your life. Like it was single worst. So I was gagging. - I got one of those on the plane. - And then me and the other people around us were like looking at each other and just had to cover our faces with our shirts from, and it, 'cause it was, - Do you think the old lady brought the little girl in there to have someone to blame? - Diabolical. (laughing) - I'm just saying I think that little girl's fucking drink, I don't know what she's doing. - Maybe they didn't want to leave the little girl alone. - Yeah, which you have a bunch of Irish car bombs. - So she brought her in there to take a shit 'cause they didn't want the little girl to sit there saying. - I've seen an old woman blow up a bathroom before. - Yeah. - I think the old lady did it. - I'd like to think so. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause it's the little girl. I'm a how old? - I don't know. - What do you guess? 10, 8? - You bring, no. They had brought, no, it was like a, it was like a little bit, if it was. (laughing) - 13, 14. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, no, no, I'm, yeah, little kid, no, 14, 15. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, 14, 15, she went over their grandma. - I thought it was like a baby. - Yeah, babies got sticky poop sometimes. - Oh no, I know that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, yeah, you can't leave the baby alone, you gotta hold it while you're shit. - 'Cause you gotta hold it over the toilet. - Yeah. - I know how kids work. - Man, I had an old man almost run me over for the toilet. And then I was like, I was like, hey, man, you need it more than I do, you know? I'm the plane. And man, he did. - It was a stinky one in there, after it was so much shit, like all over the side of the ball. - Sorry, but it is first come, first fucking serve. I don't care what the fuck you got going on there. Especially, I'm sorry, that's where I may be mean, Eddie. - Yeah. - Because even if that was true, and I knew you were gonna do there ahead of me, I would absolutely cut you off. Because I gotta go faster anyway. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I let him go, I let him go. - You're too nice. - I'm too nice. I wish I didn't, or I wish I just held it. - If I got to pee, oh, I'm jumping in there. - Yeah. - That old man was gonna die. - Okay. - Fucking, do it already. Fuck it, just give up already. Leave it to the younger people. - All right, so we got more poo poo to talk about, right? - Okay, I got this, I have to cover this. So how many people just turned off the fuck? - I don't care, you know, like this is what we have to cover. We have to cover. - It's true. - It's our show, it's not their show. - This is your somebody listen to emails. - Oh, we got some, don't we have some, Reagan attention ones? - Oh, we want to hear, you want to Reagan one? - Oh, that's so nice. - People listen. - Oh yeah. - That's so nice, man. Oh, man, fucking blaze up. - Bluck, sick of black. - This guy's from George. - From Lovelin, Colorado. - Hooray, please. - Hooray, yes, thank you. - There you go. - Yeah. - This one goes out to Tutsi. Rest in peace. - Rest in peace. - I'm sorry. (laughs) - I'm sorry. - Yeah, dude. ♪ I get scary. - This is what I'm talking about. ♪ I get gory. ♪ ♪ And we will burn, that he will make a fun. ♪ ♪ That's how you know that you're having fun. ♪ (laughs) - Wow. - That was a mumble, man. - We're really good, man. - Thank you so much, George. - Oh my God. (laughs) - Keep that one around, would you? - Yeah, thank you. - That was a good one. - You got it, man. - So last week, we debuted an interview we did with influencer author, Alyssa Grenfell, who wrote-- - She was wonderful. - She's truly wonderful. We wrote the, she wrote the book, "How to Leave the Mormon Church." Go check it out, especially if you're looking, try to figure out a way to get that sheet. And we had a lot of fun. We just kind of had a little like, hang out in episode where she showed us a bunch of the secret hand shakes. And one of the special things that she did was she brought in the special magic Mormon underwear for me to try on. - But I didn't know it existed. - Yes, and so we got to put it on. It's extremely translucent, very sexy. It looked great. And my main question to her, 'cause my first question always, can I say something pure oil and stupid? - I will say it was the widest you ever looked. - Thank you. I'll be trying, I'll be trying. Because it's so hard with this Polish skin. (laughing) You know, everywhere I go, people always ask me, are you legal devote, you know? (laughing) And so my main question, obviously, was this is thin, cottony material. What is the situation with Mormon men and skid marks? - Yeah. - And Alyssa and her, truly, I honestly want to say in her, I'm gonna say she's lucky. 'Cause she said she didn't know. And she didn't know, she didn't know, or she was too classed to answer. - Yes. But thankfully, you guys weren't. Because I got so many emails about, which I, 'cause I called it, obviously. - Yeah. - Because so many of you poor ladies were forced to wash your fathers and your brothers, Mormon underwear. - Do everything, yeah. - And the stories, some of these make me wanna fucking die. Some of these really, really die, right? So some people said you can bleach them, obviously, but they eventually get brittle, and they break apart. So this is one. I've been a huge fan of the show for nine years now, and I've always wanted to ride in and give my two cents and something y'all are asking about. As another former Mormon term atheist who also happens to live in Utah currently, I can say 100% the magic underwear gets skidmarked to hell by Mormon men. I grew up with two uncles who were both large hairy men like Henry. And I don't ever remember at time their underwear wasn't skidmarked. Love the shows. I was born into and raised in the church until I turned 21, and now I've been an exmo for 10 years. I actually was going to be why you I know for a while while Chad and Laurie were living in Rutskberg and during their thing, right? - Flex. - So, honestly, I fucking, I'm jealous. The soup, she had its extensive experience with Mormon men and their skidmarks. Most of the places I lived that had up to eight dudes living there, most of them had been on their missions. So they wore the underwear and I can assure you that skidmarks were a regular thing. Something that was joked about upon almost leverage level of men's socialization in the church and was a widely accepted phenomenon because it's too gay to touch your body. Butthole, you know, I got the easiest fix. Just make the underwear brown. - Just make it brown. - Just get brown, Fabra. - No, we just become blackest co-workers. - I mean, like, it would be worse. - I just want to reach out, let you all know that Mormon man have the worst skid marks on the planet. - Whoa, that's, I don't know about that. - I don't know if I know, I think it's the peptide. - I don't know, 'cause couple of linen suits would like to argue with that, yeah. - I was in boot camp with the Mormon man. And he's still worse temple garments at boot camp. In boot camp we had something called streak of the week where they stamp the underwear that are being had at laundry time. And whoever has the worst streak in their underwear would get what they call beaten, which is forced to do multiple individual workouts. Our little Mormon friend had streak of the week all nine weeks of boot camp. - Oh my God, dude, you didn't get, I bet he was strong as fuck when he was done. - My first duty station, no pun intended, I also had a Mormon there working with my unit when we went on deployment and that came to find out he would walk around after work in the barracks with just his underwear and the entire back of it was brown. The rest of it was white and we all called him skid. (laughing) Just also about the streak of the week. - Pit stains. One thing is that pit stains, that's actually truly gross. But the one thing also I learned is that then the problem is that you can't just throw 'em out. You have to ceremoniously get rid of them. So you have to cut out, there's little magical symbols that are sewn into it that have to be cut out first and then the whole thing has to be burned. It's fucking absolutely stupid. Another person talked about, not even just poo poo marks and skid marks, not poo poo marks and armpit marks. Someone says like, I was a Mormon, I wiped vigorously because I didn't want to be disgusted about my own underwear because I watched my father, he said my problem was was that it was white and it would collect every single little micro-middle-liter of pee. So if you had a bit of pee dangling, so he said by the time, if you've been wearing it multiple times but how many you watch it, you have a yellow patch right on top of your balls. - And plus what kind of turns into that too? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, of course. Of course that's what happens. - And so basically they become-- - Such bad idea. - Oh yes, and it basically becomes permanent, the skid marks permanent and then they eventually, they do called what they say, they call 'em well worn. - Oh, okay. - That's to term, that's some Mormons always have code. - Yeah. - So like part of the ways they say instead of saying shit filled underwear, they say they're well worn and it's time for them to be mended. - Well, how about they take some of that fucking billions of dollars and just make sure everyone's got better underwear? - Mm-hmm, I do think that they could have some of that colloidal material. (laughs) Have you seen that? They have poopu-resistant, look at poopu-resistant underwear. - I'm looking at it. - Oh really? - Yeah, they have colloidal, it's like, you know there's fart-resistant underwear. - It's diapers, wouldn't be fart-resistant underwear. - There is underwear always put like dryer sheets in your pants? - No, but it has, it's like a type of, it's like something in the fabric that collects your fart smells. - Oh, it's gotta be like a spoof. Remember those when you used to have smoke weed in high school and you'd take a shampoo bottle and you cut the end off and you'd fill up with dryer sheets and you'd blow the smoke through that so your mom doesn't get shit. - Side stories, L-P-O-T-L-A-G-M-L-D, calmness. Anyone work within the underwear technology sector? Dude, this is how we stopped the butt sniffer. Well, this is probably about sniffer also, he's still out there. - Yeah, also I just want to say I'm sorry because that video I showed during my mandate, it was a butt-licker. - Yeah. - Oh. - It was a butt-licker. - Yeah, he did a little tip of the stong where you get the, the tip of your tongue where you get the sweet taste. - These have fart-filtering underwear. - That's from saying. - Yeah, these are pretty cool. - Yeah, fart-filtering underwear. - I don't wouldn't wear it. - I love fart. - You should try it. - No, I like my farts. - But then you could do something like, it would be kind of cool for you. - We do share it. - We do share an office. If there was a person that could truly test the rigor of that underwear, it would be you. - All right, well, maybe we'll get a pair. - Right, we'll get one pair for the output on the company guy. - Yeah, I'll get it for the office on the, I'll put it on the company guard. - Yeah, I mean, it's for work. It is for work, it is performance wear. - That's this thing, you get a little pad, you can put on your butt. - Oh, I bet that's nice if you're sitting down too long. It's also great for when you got the roids. - Oh, man, well, I don't know about all that. - Yeah, 'cause you know when you, I know how you like to free bleed. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I got, no, I got my little tampon for my butt. - Yep, well, that's great. (laughing) - Do you fucking, you might not like it. This is come what your whole life is gonna look like once you hit your mid 40s, my friend. - Oh, yeah, no, yeah, the pee pee leaks. - So I also got here, I got this one last little letter which is really fun. - My uncle and Gary Ridgeway. - Mmm, during the Green River Killer Redux, it's briefly mentioned that Gary Ridgeway often went to breakfast after his murders. I confirmed that the restaurant he frequented in this time, it was a Denny's. Apparently, there is an exact restaurant, but I'd like to protect the Denny's innocence apparently. - There is no innocence in Denny's. - We all know, but we know he's ain't the specific Denny's, he doesn't wanna shout it out. I think it's the one near the Green River. (laughing) So I know this because my uncle went to the same Denny's frequently enough to have irregular conversations with Gary Ridgeway during his killing spree. - In the period of time, where Gary was most active. Apparently, my uncle said, uncle's boss, even had lunch with what they called him, they called him weird Gary. When asked about it, my uncle called Gary, he's kind of off-putting. And he said he wouldn't make sense, and he'd be real random. He wasn't a smart guy. Apparently, Gary also refused to talk about his day job at all. He even went asked directly. My uncle didn't really think about Gary for years until he saw the guy plaster all over the front pages of the newspaper in the early 2000s. Unfortunately, as my uncle is a notorious jabber jaw, I wasn't able to introduce and ask if Gary had a regular Denny's order. And if I ever find out if Gary Ridgeway had a favorite Denny's menu item, I'll write back. Please do, and why is it? I mean, ooh, what would it be? - I love that he's a jibber jabber man. I mean, I get it, I love the idea of talking. - When I'm alone at breakfast, do not talk to me. It's in the morning, it's not the same for me. I don't think it's the same. Well, I'm gonna say right here, guys, right now straight up, I do believe that what he would do. - That's a super slam. - Do you think so, percent? - Yeah, you know, really, I would say probably, just he seems boring to me. I think he's just two eggs bacon and potatoes. - You don't think super slam's boring? What else is in there? - Moons over my hammy. - Moons over, yeah, it's too much food for Gary. He's too tiny. - You got the berry stuff, French toast slam? - He's not fat. - Play face pancakes slam? - Perkowitz is a super slam, man. - Hey, but I feel like those are the kinds that got like, like Marcus eats big fat boy foods when he eats. The only things he eats are extremely fat boy foods, and he only eats them like once a day. So somehow he's like, say skinny, doing that. I think Gary Ridgeway might be like, that where he eats one big, super unhealthy meal every day. - I could see Gary Ridgeway only eating one meal a day. - Waiting a big, sloppy, gross meal, and then he doesn't eat for the rest of the day. - Yeah, and he's just wiring the rest. - Yeah, and he's just smoking cigarettes and chewing gum and looking for prostitutes. Like Marcus. (laughing) - Got it. Got it, fucking ass. - Got his ass. - Yeah, fuck, no, he's gonna love it. - He's gonna love it. - He doesn't do this show, he doesn't. - No, he's some fucking care, dude. He doesn't know what happens over here. That's why you're getting a Patreon.com slash podcast and laugh and you get fucking lists of this ad free. I'm going to also tell you right now, we're about to also unleash with this episode a secondary side stories interview that is breaking news from Henry Zapraski. - I'm very excited to hear this 'cause I wasn't around for this interview, but I can't wait. - It is a full-on, bricks and many things update with the man himself, reckless Ben. And that will see it's gonna show up on his feed right after the show. So go check it out and go and remember, live every day knowing for a fact that your underwear travels for you after you die. - Yeah, it blows a fact that how you treated your underwear will live and survive inside the memories of the loved ones you leave behind. And you can laugh knowing that you're up in heaven with your entire army of wives and you live in your planet and guy, my god, fucking dammit, it's great to have them all wash my shit filled underwear up here on your rinse. - Yeah, just know you make your children wash your underwear. They will talk about your dirty underwear. - They're on the very popular podcast until they die. - Yes, because you're disgusting. - And you gotta wash your asshole. L-P-O-T-L dot kizwee.com go watch JK Ultra. It's available for about one more week, maybe eight, nine days. I don't know, they'll tell you I'm there. Just go check it out. It's the last time you'll ever get a chance to see this shit. We had so much fun on the road. - It is a half years. - Truly, I can't. - Three continents, six countries. - Please watch it. It is a labor of love. And we did something different this time because we didn't want to feel like the last time we had shot specials that they were really too tight. And I wasn't really happy with the outcome. And I think we finally, like, at least the world can finally see what our live show is really like. - Yeah. - So that you can get excited about seeing us when we come back and tour next year as a main show, last podcast on the left. Someone, there was one thing I saw being like, there was some confusion. Are pot, nothing's happening to the podcasts or the streams. - No, it's just because people don't listen. So something happening to the podcast or the streams it is just the last podcast on the left live show is not gonna be going on tour. But side stories is soon and we're gonna have new dates for you. - Yeah. - We're gonna be starting that in September. - No, I can't wait for that. But in the meantime, come see me. I'm on the road, editunes.com for tickets. I got July 30th. October 31st, Chicago, August 16th LA, that's dead men tell some tales. It's our Disney show. Henry's going to show up and be with me on that one. We're going to have a lot of fun. 9/11 and 9/12, DC. I'm going to be fucking DC and 9/11 doing shows. Yeah. I have four shows over two days. Go see one of those. Get 'em. I'm going to be a-- Eddie Get 'em. I'm very excited. I'm going to invite all my military people out, too, for that one of those. Milwaukee. If you're performing outside, can you call this as an outside job? I guess, well, I will be indoors, so it will be an inside job. Oh, you know we completely forgot? What do we forget? Is Jimethy going to be opening for you? Oh, Jimethy. When is he? I'm sorry. That-- everyone needs to leave that portion alone. Just move them inside. Someone needs to capture Jimethy. Someone needs to capture him and take care of him before somebody comes. He needs to be in a rescue. We can give a big ol'-- This is like-- Here is a why we didn't-- There is a snack. There is a why we didn't lead with Jimethy. It's because the whole world has Jimethy fever right now, and I figured that you already have it. And Jimethy is a memed recoon that has a spine fusion issue, a super short and he's cute. And the world is flipping up for him. He's a Seattle local. He's in the Bay Area. Go up there. Just go up there. Oh, you think it was the toxic copper smelting of the Tacoma area that made him look like this? Yes. And I think that someone should probably take care of him, but he is just a raccoon, doing his little job, and he's got cute little hands. And the whole world loves him. And I just don't want to know who he voted for. Yeah. September 27th, I'll be in Milwaukee and October 4th, Denver. There's much more coming down the road. Is Jimethy going to be in any of those dates? He's in Seattle, but I'll reach out. But if-- yeah, because that's my thing is that I'd love to kind of need to see you do a collab with Jimethy. Jimethy, I think, has like hours to live. Unfortunately, I just like, for some reason, I have this idea of Jimethy like getting picked up by some kind of entertainment company. And then all of sudden, Jimethy is like being dragged around by some fucking like Olivia Rodrigo or something like, you know, and he's just clonoured to it. So she gets angry when she gets scratched and then he fucking gets likely to live in with MGK or something. I'm afraid for Jimethy. I don't want him to get involved in show business. He does a great version of I got no strings. I don't want him involved. I don't think he should be corrupted by this. I think he needs to-- I think he needs to stay wherever he's at or we may put into a proper home. He's going to go out with Morgan Walland at the road. Oh, no, no. Because he pisses on himself. And so it works out fine. Yeah, I wonder how his situation is. So if you see Bugenia, try to leave Jimethy alone if you can. Or kidnap him and give him to someone so he's just like taking care of him. It's one or the other. It's either leave him alone or give him to a hospital. And if not, just let's just because we all love Jimethy right now, but I just feel that the attention's going to be hard on him. Look up what it did to Kanye West. All right, I don't want it to happen to him. I don't want him to go down the fucking radical isolation, fucking pipeline. Once he realizes his dreams are not going to fully go the way he wants to, he's going to show up and say, no, I'm on film. I act on film. You know what I mean? And they're going to be like, no, you make content now. He doesn't even have a tail. No. So he wouldn't even make a good hat. No. Fuck that. Make a great wallet though. So just leave Jimethy alone. Okay, if we can. Or hire him. One or the other. All right, we love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Hell sweet Satan. Hell Jimethy. Yeah. Yeah.