There's no place to escape to and this is the last talk on the left. Side stories? That's one of the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes. Hello, hello, hello. I can talk to you now. Hello, hello, hello, hello. I'm done with my text messages and I may speak with you now. Who did you text? I was texting with you. I'm done with my text messages and I may speak with you. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Who did you text? I was texting with Julie. Yeah, what'd you say? We were talking about Summer House. We'll get into it later, though. I'm already angry. Just like thinking about it. I know Eddie has brought this up. He has said he is the only person that could properly do. Summer House slash last podcast on left. News coverage. Yeah, man. But you're saying that you know. There's an old. There's content. There's content. We thought we'll talk about it. We'll get to the towards you. We have updates. We have updates. We do. We got all kinds of shit. We have a lot of stuff. I think the most important issue of the day is. Does anyone actually like the handlebar mustache? Okay. I'd like to put this right here to everyone. We're going to start this out hot. Okay. Welcome to side stories. No, no, no, not you. No, not you. You have no idea. No. It grows like this. Let's just talk about this. There's two different handlebars. Let's start. Organize. Okay. My name is Henry Sprowski. I'm sitting here with the properly bearded Ed Larson. Hello. How are you? Also Rob. You don't have a handlebar mustache. You have what I call a Western troupe. That is a normal troupe. All right. Mustaches are supposed to go down. I believe this. Okay. I'm sorry for everybody. I already know. My friend who runs the Red Hat, who is one of the cam, who is one of the most wonderful. The brilliant artist's side. I never met truly incredible artist. Her husband has a handlebar mustache. And I don't know what happened there. Because she's so incredible. Her husband's a wonderful man. I don't know why he chose the handlebar mustache. Because what we were saying right before we were recording. Is that the handlebar mustache is an exact example of a thing of man chooses. Now, I think we need to before we even go further. There are two types of handlebar moustaches. Are there? There's the one that goes straight down like this. I don't know if it's that technically. I don't think it's a handlebar mustache. It goes down. I know. It's also a handlebar mustache. But you are specifically talking about the frilly one, the dynamite, the tie, the girl, the rail, the railroad tracks. If you have a handlebar mustache, I pretty much assume you are a non-union stunt rigger. Yeah. If you have a handlebar mustache, I assume you are somebody that is running from allegations someplace else. You're just trying to hide, right? Because what you have is straight up here. This is a good example. Fumant shoes. What I was thinking. A Fumant shoes. Different. But a Fumant shoes. And a Horseshoe is okay. A Horseshoe is okay. But Fumant shoes. Rob doesn't even have a Fumant shoe because then go all the way down. I would do a Fumant shoe. I've done it. But I'm saying this to the mumboys. We're starting hot here. Side stories LPL, gmail.com. To me, it feels like if I, like how do you put this? Like the beard. The beard on is man make up because I've decided to. And I can, right? When I have the mustache and I choose my mustache, the reason why I have my mustache is because of the polarizing effect of my mustache. I love the fact that people wonder if I'm a pilot, wonder if I'm a police officer. You're a full mustache. I love my fucking mustache. We all know what your mustache is. And I love all moustaches. I was saying this. I'm going to pay Ed money to have a pencil thin mustache. We'll see. We'll talk about it. I'm going to pay. Imagine Eddie. I imagine Eddie with a pencil thin mustache and tell me that that's not going to be the single funnest day of all of our lives. When he's walking around with a pencil thin mustache and how fun that will be. Every put a big chef's hat on him. And he walks her. I'm going. Don't know. Sleepy. I wish I had a pencil thin mustache. I think you'd look amazing personally. But the thing about the handlebar mustache is it's a stubborn male choice. Much like high for a while, I did civil war here, right? I cut that. What's that? It's a little one. The one where I cut the chin hair off. And I would just did the full. I did the full chops, right? I did the full civil war thing. Into the mustache. Into the mustache. Yeah. I love the way it looks. But it looks bad. You know why you like it? Because you're a man. And it's stupid looking. Yes. And I enjoy things that are stupid looking. Yes. And I like how other men look when they look stupid and when they make a choice, they look stupid. Except for the handlebar mustache. Only just because to me, it's telling me you got too much time. So when I flip off the edges, be serious about the mustache. Everything else carries. Yeah. Like what? Do any of those people have like good jobs? I don't know. Because you have to. Kim, what does your husband do? Yeah. You're going to email me. Side stories,
[email protected]. Yeah. It's because here's the thing. Like, I know it. Well, we might get a little heat for this. But I don't. We get heat for every single thing we've ever said. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't really care. No. But yeah, no. It's silly. And it's hard for me to take you serious. You're hiring somebody to do something for me. Whether it's like right jokes or like fix my toilet. And you show up with one of those curly mustache. Get the fuck out of my house. I don't think you can do the job properly. I don't want you. Again, you have to own. You have to be selling popcorn. Yeah. The only way you have that handlebar mustache. And I'm going to take you seriously. And it's going to do sell popcorn with the handlebar mustache. Good on you. Excellent. And also, truly, because we're not, we're not IPA guys either. No. No one of us, we don't like IPAs or you don't like the big, heavy things. And we're like, I like a cocktail now. It's an IP mustache. It's an IPA mustache. It really is. All right. Now I know why we don't fucking jam with these fuckers. There's something about it that doesn't mix with our lifestyle. And unfortunately, every time I see a handlebar mustache, I just want to attack. Yeah. I mean, and I think you're allowed to have it. Just know that this is how people might feel. This help men feel. And it's also why it kind of stuff. Some men are like. Nice, nice mustache. Yeah, because they don't have the mustache. And they're like seeing you walking around looking like an idiot. Someone should have it. Sure. If you work in the circus. Yeah. What if it's a different color? If someone dies it. Disgusting. Again, keep them, don't let the mustache do all this work for you. Mustache is not a personality. Yeah. All right. You have to be, I'm too much personality. Can I give you personality? No, it can't. It can give you, it can make you more fun to look at. No, it makes you a deterrent. No. It makes me angry at you. No. Yes. For having a mustache? A handlebar mustache. You did this. You did this. You did this. I did do this. You came in hot like this. I'm sorry, everybody. I love everybody. You're the one who came in hot. I just saw it. I love everybody's upset already already. I mean, I just think that it's important to all moustaches. What about the Salvador Dolly? Nothing I love better than Salvador Dolly. It's different because it's a true expectation. And no one does the Salvador Dolly. Someone who's a painter. They're allowed to have the mustache. Yeah. A professional bowler. Professional bowler doesn't really have any standards. Yeah. Yeah. They can have the mustache. They can do whatever they want. Yeah. Ice cream salesman. Yeah. As long as they don't have the truck and attracting children. Oh. They're just doing it on the street. This is a barista thing. Yeah. I see the hybrid. That's new. The hybrid mustache soul patch. That is a nuke. Like that. The zappas coming back. You know what? It's taken time for it to come back. You know what's a weird thing I've been doing lately. And this will expose me. But I've been, obviously, I need a beard trim and all that stuff. But I get rid of this. People do that. I get rid of the soul patch. And like, I keep it empty. You know why? I talk for a living. Not that it gets in the way. I just want people to see my lips. Because I mumble. You know? And like, and so I m- I m- It's like literally. Yes. So people can see me mumble. And then they might be able to understand me a little more if I'm mumbling. You're true ally. That's what this is about. You made a little mouth window. That's what he's saying. The flavor saver. That's what they call it. But you know what? Okay. That's why, you know what I mean. You know who loved his flavor savers. Who? Jeffrey Epstein. Let's get it with an update. It's an island adventure. Sure. Heck yeah. It's Jeffrey time. This one isn't a super thick update. No, it's kind of- This one's actually- I think it's our first fun one. You know, I like this one. Because this lives in a world of total fantasy. And it's such it's like this is a way to like if this was true, everything be all right. Yeah. It's not. So it's not. But it would be fun if it was. All right. So it has been with the Michael Jackson biopic came out and everyone's loving it. It's doing great. People love it. It's really it's really like it's honestly it's made like $300 million. It's what they're crushing it. They did the smart thing. You know, I got every movie, you know, Goodfellas, Blow and stuff. The first half's amazing. Yeah. And then it's the fall. And you're like, oh, that's sad. What they did with the Michael Jackson movies, they understood. Just did the good stuff. Yeah, just do the good stuff. That's just like. Just like. Do they even have to bother like beating them in shape? I think he literally goes like. Michael. I was new. You could dance. And it's a given. And he says. I remember the two-pock movie was so bad. Oh yeah. You go out there and you do your weapon. You know. I know. You're going to wrap your way out the hood. That's one of my favorite. My favorite ones. Yeah. And it's just like played by a native American woman. You know. So the why this is going on is there's the famous in the Epstein file drop. There's a couple pictures of Michael Jackson. There's the famous picture of Michael Jackson. One of my favorite ones. Like a ghost. The super creepy one. That one is my favorite. I send that to my family and friends. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one of my favorite being like. Guess who's coming. That's like one of my favorite new life bits. I've been doing is. Guess who's coming out tonight. And then I said in this picture.
wall. He is a frightening in this picture. Yeah, no, he looks very scary. I think it's on his in his most unhealthy. So here's the deal with everything here. Um, there is a conspiracy going around, which I don't believe, but I love the story very much so is that Michael Jackson was going to Epstein Island, buying children to rescue them and bring them back to Neverland Ranch where they'd be safe. He's flipping kids. He's flipping kids. This is the conspiracy. And if right when the Epstein files dropped, it came out a little bit and then it went away. But now that the docs out, it's coming back out. A lot of people are saying it's true. A lot of, and it's obviously very ridiculous. Well, I love the idea of, you know, Michael Jackson popping and a little saying James, yeah, I just got to have some new potential backup dance. It's my new toe. Yeah, absolutely Michael. And then they go over and the mic is like, okay, now look, okay. Okay. Now let me keep leaning. Keep leaning backwards. Don't have that lean. I throw the hat. Okay, I take these four years ago. I'm doing it. I don't need to see those. And then there are all the kids are like, oh my god, we're going with Michael to Neverland Ranch. And he's going to save us from having to be cocktail servers covered in sand. Meanwhile, there's just like a loose chimpanzee. They get into Neverland Ranch. He's like, okay, he go. He's a rude. Michael, why are you staying here? Say rude. We all share the best. I can balance this and I'm like, it's close. I think you just hear the kids just go, oh no. Bap, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, that straight from the fucking pan into the llama's asshole. Man, that is gotta be frightening. You get pick up like Michael Jackson. Yeah. You go on one carousel ride and then you get your dick sucked. Man, where is that? Well, what is the Neverland Ranch? Like, reopen it. At least pick up like a haunted carnival. I think there's a lot of people that are still super like upset about it. Yeah. You know, let me see who owns it now. Ron Berkel. Oh, you don't mean Ron Berkel? Does it want to fucking who's Ron Berkel? Come on. You know, Ron Berkel. Yeah. What do you mean? I know Ron Berkel. Or guy. Who the fuck are you talking about? Put it in your investor and you can point out company's co-founder. Ron Berkel. Oh god. Jesus. Look at that guy. Look at that guy in front of us. That guy is what did he? Oh, yeah. I love the first picture. It's him and did he. There is no so funny. You know, I like about that guy. He doesn't fuck kids. Yeah. No way. Berkel doesn't. Oh, he also produced the Michael movie. Yeah. He's quite smart. So he's in on it. So anyway, so the picture is so Michael Jackson's security guard has come out and said I was there when the picture was taken. We were going around and we Michael wanted to buy a house in West Palm Beach. And so he was going to houses and looking at everyone's house and then he went to he was thinking about buying Jeffrey Epstein's house and he said that every house that they went to go look at the person who on the house one of the picture with Michael. Of course they do. And so he ended up taking picture with like 10 people that day. Sure. Yeah. The reason he wanted to buy his house so he can live next to his best friend Barry Gip. Oh, his favorite. Oh, that's really nice. And then they could get back and forth. And they could eat like bone soup together. Exactly. They could try the Eiffel Tower, a couple of kids. I don't think he's done anything wrong. Right. The Barry Gip do anything wrong. No, he's just no one. Barry, he's just a beachy. Yeah, he's just a beachy. He's got cancer. That's all. Yeah. And like, you know, I could see him love in Epstein's place. He's got all the stuff he loves. He's got all the stuff he needs. He's got the medical chair. He's got the dentist area that he can get his proper fall and get his meal. Oh, he's still kicking. Oh, yeah. Oh, the other Gip got cancer then. Anyway, so, so basically. And then so Michael was only there in West Palm, not the island. The other famous picture was with Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and Diana Ross. And that is just, that's just like they were out of benefit together. Can you even imagine what that dinners like? Just silence. I just feel like you see in the four of them, these four people sitting together at a table, Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton, Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. I got to say Jeffrey Epstein created the silence because I feel like the three of them would have had a great time. Bill Clinton's a fun guy. So was Diana Ross is kind of unbelievable. Is she? I love that. I saw her live. I saw her live last year and I couldn't believe how good it actually was. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She had like four costume changes. She was unbelievable. She could think how they're no. See, this is like the time when they block out the children's faces, but it's already been said that the children are dying in a Ross's children. Yes. And so it's not even actual. Is that, you know, so it's, it's one of those type of situations. No, Michael Jackson kept his activities inside of his own bedroom with the children that he was teaching at a dance. And that's the difference here is that he was just peddling to himself. And that's the, you know, Epstein that kept saying, oh, he was just trafficking people to himself. He was not, Michael Jackson was. Michael Jackson, one man shop. He wasn't trying to pass these kids around because, you know why? He could tell us. And he didn't want him to have them around. He got so angry. Take it about Lindsey Graham fucking one of his boys. So he didn't want to pedal them out. So the reason this is back in the news is because Dan Reed, he's the guy who directed leaving Neverland. Oh, yes. We owe documentary. The one that they said one. The sad one. The super, super sad one. The one that kind of featured like all of the exposés that the guy's coming out. Yes. I know what I felt bad for was finding Neverland. I thought that movie was great. Now everyone just thinks that's that. You know what's funny though, but fighting Neverland's also about a child molester. Hmm. Isn't it? I mean, no, it's about the guy who wrote Peter Pan. Is he just a child molester? Well, then the guy you wrote was one of those awesome ones or lands the one that I believe. The wrong doll continue. Let's continue. I think same guy. I don't care. I don't care about that fucking shit. Here's the deal. So Dan Reed. People have been people. So Dan Reed was like, Hey, don't fucking talk like this. Michael Jackson is worse than Jeffrey Epstein. That was his statement that he came out with. And so when he came out with that statement, some of Michael Jackson's fans, AI to photo of Dan Reed and Jeffrey Epstein together. Yeah. That was never possible. That you are, you are Epstein's friend. And then Dan Reed's like, no, that's not me. That's my face on Noom Jomsky's box, which is the hell most hilarious body swap possible. I could find out that I could be a direct body swap for Noom Jomsky. I'm quitting life. Just just disgusting. What a horrific body. Also, yes, there was a Lou Evan Davies was the woman that was the, the Jambarry who was the author of Peter Pan. He got way too close with the boys that the Peter Pan stories were based upon. And he adopted them and lived with them. And they also very Michael Jackson. They kind of slept in the bedroom with him and did all the stuff. But he famously said he was a sexual and he couldn't do it. And just like Michael Jackson said, and he just slept it because he slept with the kids because he loved the comfort of children. So he, yeah. And then he wrote a story about going to an island filled with never changing boys. No matter what you do to him. And the best part about him is that they keep getting older, but they stay exactly the same. And that's what he loves. Nothing Jambarry wanted more than a thousand year old little boy that he could fucking suck. And a little boy can come right back at and do all sorts of fun things because he's actually a thousand years old. Yeah. Well, I love finding Neverland. Yeah, it's a good movie. Oh, he had a handle for him. He had a western style. He had a western style mustache. Again, it's different before the whole thing change culture change and shift it. So Michael Jackson didn't save the children. We don't know. We don't know for certain, but I'm going to say Michael Jackson was busy. I don't think he was, like, he had enough kids. I think he can still stand by him. Yeah. He did molest him. I call he Colton. I call he Colton. Yeah. He did molest the most famous child of all. You're right. Yeah. He also did molest the technically Corey Feldman. He didn't molest. Yes. But who else was molested by everybody else? And then he also, uh, it was crazy. Corey Feldman's like everybody fucked me, but Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, which is why he's continuing to try to sound like Michael Jackson. All right. And then there was Elizabeth Taylor or watch your things. The only person who actually got molested by Michael Jackson as an adult. Yeah. Well, Diana Ross was Michael Jackson's buddy. And Elizabeth Taylor. He was there for her wedding. Oh, I received a Philly Elizabeth Taylor as well. Dude, he was the best man about this shit. He was her best man. Oh, was it? Yeah. Look up the picture of Elizabeth Taylor with Michael Jackson marrying. He was the best man. Well, she was married. I believe it was David Getty. The guy that was like, he's famously gay. And he's just like, he's this look in his face because like, he was like big old like this, this look at this. Look at this. Look at the way he's looking at her. When she's watching, he gags as soon as they kiss watching the background. Yeah, he pretends to get he's already killed. Yeah, he's very silly. He's pretty cute. Why is he framed in the shot because he's putting himself in the front? Jackson, he thinks in a better shot. You know, Michael Jackson and a picture. It's a better picture. That's good directing for the wedding photographer. I will say though, he does go like, I do find it go shouldn't go right for the tongue and the wedding kiss. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, he's, you know, he's trying to prove. Oh, this lies in Mannelly. By the way, goddamn it. It's lies in Mannelly. - That makes a lot more sense. - Yeah, Tim, I'm missing it. - But he's friends, he was.
Friends with Elizabeth Taylor, everybody was friends with Elizabeth Taylor but everybody well everyone in Hollywood Well anybody you get closer. Yeah, man. I've complained about this on the show before when she shut down Disney when I was there Fuck that bitch. All right, here we deadass bitch. You know what Eddie? Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go Eddie. Oh by the way To close out the Epstein update Trump Fuck kids Eddie would still if we could get it out to put that in there. Yeah, do you remember that he would still be doing it if he could Perform sexually. Yeah, now he's the one in diapers. Yeah, it's kind of fun in that way So he's getting shit put up his ass and one day he will fucking die very very soon. All right. We have normal updates Yes, we do. So what we have here is the missing scientists the whole NASA like missing science all these things attached to the UAP phenomena It's kind of like it's still there and it's not getting any clearer with especially with this new news So we know that that cash Intel came out and said straight up. There is no conspiracy around all of these missing scientists and I actually can't help but Sort of agree really only just because if you look at all so fishy. Yes, it's wildly fishy That's the problems that it's only fishy without any real connective tissue yet because the things that are certainly need to come out like we now know that the Macaslam that general he's still missing. Yes These other one other scientists still missing only the ones that died in these like various Very unusual ways, but the one that is now we have a new update We have an update on one of the missing scientists Melissa Cassius who's 54 years old who worked at Los Alamos her remains have just been found Which was they found the car and they found her abandoned right out in the middle they found her out there in the middle of the desert They found a handgun and so now they're trying to decide whether or not They they're gone belong to her because there was no indication that she had had a gun before Yeah, now we're looking at trying to see was there's no indication that she even left her car Well her car was left behind with these laptops in it and all of her personal information keys in the Ignition if someone smashed a boulder through the back window. Yes, and the last person like she had a burner phone That was unopened she was apparently going to do this local mountain climbing trip They were trying to hit this one specific alone alone Which is weird and her family already said that she was suffering from extreme stress Right before all of this went down so she was suffering from extreme job stress personal stress So I'm not saying It's definite, but she dropped off everybody like she did like the way her last days were really interesting because she Dropped up for kids and then she was gonna go to work She dropped up her husband at work And then she just said I'm actually I left my idea at home. I'm gonna go home and get my ID She drives home. She tells her daughter. I'm actually gonna work from home and then the next video She stopped she stopped at her daughter's school in the way home. Yes, brother like a sandwich or some shit Yes, and then she came home and then she basically packed up her stuff into the car Drove away and then the last person saw her was somebody helping her on the side of the road when her car broke down So they were helping her with a car. This is before the rock was smashing it, but according to the the people that stopped there They were like well, we didn't quite see we don't know whether or not the boulder had already smashed in her window at that point or why But she was saying to them like get it all wrapped up. Let's go I want to get going and they're like you know, it's almost at night time You should probably find a place to stop and she's like I'm gonna get to the top of that mountain no matter what and she said like She was obsessed with getting some mountain the top of this local mountain and so I actually think it's quite It makes a lot of sense if she committed suicide But it's also why why are all of these high-pressure scientists doing that then why are they all know each other well They are like one degree of separation from each other and some of them know each other like it's just a small world It's like if you're in the the physics world and the in the mechanics world like especially this type of like top secret shit It's a small world. Yeah, so they all kind of are Endentially connected. There's the other story of this woman ingrid column lane. Yes, Colleen Lane This is another one that was By the way, if you name your daughter ingrid, she's gonna be a scientist. It just has to be like Harriet Helen. They're gonna become one This was a lady that I went on a silent retreat Meditation retreat. Yeah, but she said it was for silence. That's how I looked up So she was silent. She left the retreat early. Mm-hmm. She was a scientist Another person that that laptops all in the in the in the car and all this kind of shit And her car was found handing. Yep. So it's the same type of story, but why are they doing it? Why are they trying to get like what exactly is the point a lot of them? Did they all work at Los Alamos? Yes, and some of them did like this they worked with you And they also worked we don't know if they what they did a lot of them work with yes They did work in the aerospace industry missile industry that the anti-gravity industry like this idea of creating new fuel types That's the main one of the things that they're working on is that is like legitimately alt Flight fuels. Yeah, which is literally that's also one of those things and we were going to take something from a uap I mean that would be very cool, but if you believe the lore like if you believe believe the Bob Luzar of it all And then that we've been working on this for a long time Then it why would it come to a head now? Like we've been working on this since 1947 Yeah, like why is it all coming to a head now? What is like we already said Bob Luzar was saying that even the while they were trying to retroactively work on the UFOs If you do believe that is real that it might have killed several engineers Just working on it. So it also would make sense to me if the whole things dangerous Like if the whole things dangerous an old process is dangerous It might actually Talk about the like let's say it's all real like let's say there's one side of this and it's all real and there is an actual Black program that we have been working on Doing the shit with UFOs for a long time that we've never fully cracked it like let's say we never and now we're kind of sorting We're starting to finally get over the lip of making things that look like the thing. I think that it's very it's even easier and simpler than that That they might have cracked an alternate energy resource that wouldn't that would kill the oil industry Unless but this is also one of those things I've never understood of like then why does an oil industry just get in on it and be the make that the new oil industry I've never heard of that. They're in too deep with the other shit. Just fucking chat. Why don't the tobacco companies grow weed? I don't fucking know. Let's not start that, you know, it's gonna be bad That's gonna be about the infrastructure to be supported by Oil and buy these things and if you're gonna try to change the whole game They have to change their whole infrastructure maybe but this is but if it's literally alien technology wouldn't we change it for that Versus just stuff that we're making in a lab. So though I'm just saying if it's also NASA scientist Monica Jacinto Risa she went missing while hiking last year California are scientists bad at Hiking all science. I think we should we need to like get together and like buy all these scientists treadmills We obviously Peloton has got to get involved here. Yeah, someone's got to get bring them inside But no, I Here's my original kind of pitch is if you're already working on highly Eoretical potentially dangerous technology it might take a type of person It might take much like how the CIA which I do believe and I hate when people kind of Shushu me on this because I fucking have had CIA guys Tell me this is fucking real that they bring in unreliable people on purpose That's the point. That's bubble. Yes You're bringing in an unreliable person on purpose so that no one will believe a person that they say that is the point of it So I think that if you're having this type of technology it makes sense You'd bring up a little the crazy guys in instead of having it just be all the boilerplate scientists with shit Then you have to go put them in front of a border directors and have them do all this shit And like you know if you're making space shuttles you have to like talk to the thing you can't just have Edward nigma For Batman forever working on that shit Right? Yeah, that guy's got to be behind a bunch of paywalls behind a bunch of places you can't get to And that guy might ever once while flip out and fucking pull those brains out. I don't know That could also very well be it But the the missing and dead scientists numbers up to 12. Yeah, like or it depends on you see it's in the accordions in and out Because it depends on which when you want to decide it begins and doesn't because there's some less 2023 That's where they're some let's take it all the way back to 2022. Yeah For me I'm looking at the ones in the last two years But if I'm look if there's a if we're saying that there's a rash of missing scientists It would be the one that is clupped up right now How come those scientists that knew these people are coming out and saying they are they are they are just not really If you look at it, there's many of the family scientists are actually saying they're extremely upset that their families have been dragged into a conspiracy theory They're really most of them have basically just said for the large part that there are simple explanations for most of these and largely it seems to be suicide.
side in accident. So right now, it's like, so the families are devastated. They don't know what to do about it. The public's confused. We have the worst people in the world in charge of this disseminating information, which is making it even worse. If you look at aliens.gov, they decided to put out a thing where they just, which is what I said, which is what I fucking said you did, you did say about the UAP footage, which it was a thing to flip to ice and the idea of getting rid of people, getting rid of humans, right? So that's exactly what they used it for. So that's why it's, that's why it sucked. That's why the file dropped sucked, guys. It sucked because it was just a way for them to pitch ice. Yeah. Again. So we were looking at is that it's extremely confusing. And then one of the worst parts about it right now is the fact that every, every outlet I read puts it at a different parameter, it puts it at a different start point. So, you know, the FBI, if they are indeed working for some hidden group within the government is doing that great job. Yeah. The FBI, you know, they're suspect right now. Oh, yeah. They are literally, I would, so I would consider them a foreign body inside of the United States of America at this point. Like literally I would consider them not an actual agency inside of America. There's something else. Yeah. And they're doing whatever they want. So good luck. What do you think about this Brazil UFO? This is fascinating. So let's take a look at this footage and we pull this up. This is, this is truly one of the best. I don't care. So in the spirit of this, in the spirit of this, I am talking about a video that makes me filled with wonder and delight again. Now, this came out of the mountains of southern Brazil. The witness Mike Lail. All right. Now, he was doing, he was like filming stuff around his property as you can imagine, right? He, uh, he said all of a sudden, he was an influencer. He's an influencer. He's an influencer. He's a garden influencer. He's hot, right? He's hot, right? Good mustache. So he, he's a rancher and out of nowhere while he was filming his lands, he said he noticed his animals were getting super, like, like restless, very alert on a barks and yaps. I don't know. All of a sudden, Mike, I know. No. God, Henry, are you auditioning right now? Is this like, that is unbelievable? I often been going in for groups of animals. I thought, I thought of someone open the door and a bunch of goats got in here. Nope. I'm a regular. I'm so impressed. I'm a regular. Who's the fat guy from the fucking fat guys that does the beats? Oh, my God. The fat boys, the guy who does the beats, the human be bucks. I'm him. Yeah. I'm him. By the way, this guy is very hot. Oh, he's very attractive. Yeah. So when you do that, his mustache, I so I said, is it down to low? No. His mustache is perfect. Yeah. Is it masculine? Full mustache. Yeah. It is a good mustache. It is a nice mustache. It's a Tom Selec mustache. It's such a nice mustache. He doesn't need a shirt. He covers, it covers the shirt. He's a museum. So he said that once he had seen this, he said, and then he heard like a throbbing mechanical rhythmic, like noise throughout the valley. Kind of sound like, wow, wow. Yeah. He then began to film this object. Now, if you look at it, it's fucking thick. It is a desk. It is blurry as all fuck, but it looks good. It is solid as all fuck. It is big, very large. Yeah. And it has lights running all the way around. Now, those lights are really, now the thing that makes this video particularly fucking good is that you will watch it move. So you're sitting and you're watching it hover. It's hovering. It is, it is extremely disturbing. And it was there all day. Yes. And they said eventually, though, he watched it land. See, it moved. See how it moved up the mountain range. And it's just sitting there. That is truly haunting. That is, and Brazil, like as we know, might be the UFO hotspot of the world. Yeah, because they are the ones who claim they got like a war with the aliens, many of them in Virginia, in Virginia. And they are truly, they use like an epicenter of UFO activity. And it's been that way for a very long time. And maybe it's just because it's the ass. I was going to say that, Eddie. You got ahead of me, but you knew exactly what I was going for. It's all that luscious, luscious, incredible Brazilian carnival ass. And those aliens know what's up. And I get it because they don't have asses where they're at. Think about that. You live a world with no, no tits, no butts, no penis, nothing, no. So I think the name is a brosky tron. You know, think about how sad is that? No fucking moustaches. They don't have moustaches. Grays don't get to have them. No, not anymore. So they go to Brazil and they get to see some moustaches and collect them. So that is, so we're still here, aren't we folks? We're right here, smack dab between one of the most corrupt organizations we've ever witnessed as a human population here. And the ever mysterious phenomena, that doesn't care what we do. Does it? Now, but here's the thing though, if it landed in the middle of the woods, it doesn't make sense to me because it's such a big ship. Like it wouldn't have been able to land without like destroying a bunch of trees. It's very possible. But yeah, or is it entirely material at all? Yeah. Does it disappear? Does it get kind of wiggly wiggity? Wiggity wiggity is how you're going to explain it. Yeah. It's a UFO, bro. One of us was sick. It doesn't fly away either. No, it does. No, it does feel like you could see. So what you go look for. Yeah, go find one. It sounds like it's out in the middle of fucking nowhere. That's the reason why I didn't go out there. But you know, you know why they go? If you believe how many times we've seen these UFO stories where they send like guys down to kind of hunt for things on the ground, like when they did the alien robot story or the like within sometimes they'll like drop a line into a lake or something and suck up water. That's the thing that they do. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe they run on water. Maybe. Maybe we'll just float out of data centers. Yeah. I mean, hopefully our data centers. Oh, I wish. So the LPN data center will be opening up very soon. I just want to say thank you to everybody. It's really big for us. It's physically big. The kickstarter went great. And we've been so excited about the response that we got that we started to open up a second data center. It's going to be in Oahu. Yeah. That is what I'm really excited for. We're real. We've built up a whole bunch of infrastructure around Oahu. Yeah. And the Galapagos. And I'm really happy with our I think our data center at the Galapagos is great because we painted a turtle on it. Yeah. Well, what's good about that one is it's we're creating something called spay eye where we're just neutering all the animals in the Galapagos. And the best for real water all it takes is a hole. It's knife. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just this hooked knife. I bring the island. We have another update. Nick Reiner wants his $1.5 million trust fund. Good luck. Yeah. I know. He wants his $1.5 million trust fund so he can buy his defense attorneys. And here's the deal. I hate him. He definitely did it. But he's not convicted yet. That is the problem is that he's not. It is like a weird little loophole. It is. He's not guilty yet. He technically is innocent until proven guilty. Yeah. And that is the only argument he has is like how would you know if I killed him until I'm for fucking guilty even though you're the only one that everybody everybody knows he did it. And he fucking confessed to it. And he did it. And now you're just being a fucking asshole because you're a fucking asshole. Yeah. You're you're fucking crazy ass brother. It's been a problem. Your whole life kills your parents. You're very famous, loving, beautiful, famously kind, famously incredible. They take in fucking people who they don't even know and like get their lives. Change your fucking life Nick Reiner. Yeah. Try to give you a fucking movie to direct. Try to do lots of stuff for your untalented fucking ass. I'm sorry. He didn't take that movie was bad. You suck Nick. You fucking suck. You suck. You suck as a convicted murderer. You suck as a non convicted murderer. You're not a good director. You're not a good actor. You got nothing bro. You're the fucking least talented human being in the whole Reiner family. You suck dude. You killed the only people they're going to give you a shot. And guess what? Now you're going to fucking get murdered in jail because everybody loves Princess bride. Even rapists. Even rapists and murderers love Princess bride. And you killed the guy that did it. And they're going to come for you. You fucking idiot. My name is Nick Reiner. I killed my own father prepared to tell you more fucking. That's why they're mad at you, buddy. He's not going to happen. After all of this, he's stealing $1.5 million from his brother and sister. I doubt it's going to happen. I doubt. I think that they are going to figure out a way to like, you can just push it long enough to the trial. That's kind of, I think that's partially that. I think that they, I believe how it works too is that there's a certain amount of time. Please, side stories, LPLGMulticom. I just start conjecturing on lost off than people like, boy, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I do think that. Let me ask, can he do that? Can he push all the way through this process or at some point is a judge going to be like, I don't care what they decide we're doing this trial.
Now I do believe sometimes it's like that, but I will ask the audience because they're always right at it. Yes Except when they're wrong. Oh well, you know, and then I fucking tear you a new one. Don't I? Well a lot of times when the people write in we out we have to take it all with a grain of salt because they're like I'm a lawyer And I just have to believe it. I honestly and I do yeah, I don't have to fucking. That's it. That's me. I'm Joe Rogan Let's hear this next story. Oh, the reason why I'm covering this is because it's a funny title and I just think it's funny to go up this far to change your name, but don't change your look So this happened in Portland makes a lot of sense. Yeah, man by the name of loony tune Ah, he's arrested after a John Franklin Colbe to so he legally changed his name to loony John Franklin Colbe tune, right? So he is legally loony tune, yes, and so he had already had I guess he had already had a bunch of warrants out for his arrest and He was pulled over for a traffic stop He had a female passenger in the video He they tried to stop him by putting spike strips in the back of the car He said fuck it. He fucking drove through the spike strips nearly hit a bunch of police drove off fired his gun at the police Blah blah blah obviously probably had drugs in there. We'll find out But he did say I'm sorry. He has 16 former felonies. He does he does and he is He's in kill is someone I like to stick up for everybody. That's a lot. It's a lot of families. I was just The one thing about him too is I would say like I think it's funny because you look at his like his munch shot Nothing loony about him. Why would you change your name to loony tune and not do a fun like face tattoo or do like a fun like Like kind of got a theme or something like that's the only reason why I'm like upset because like I first I was like, oh man loony tunes gonna look funny as hell Yeah, and then I looked up as mugshot. I was like this is a waste. Yeah. Why would you go through all this? Because it's the hardest part is going through the courts to change your name He's got the white glasses. Yeah, but it doesn't let us make you loony. It looks like the kick boss a lot of people get white glasses instead of a Personality. Well, that's the thing. It's like a handlebar mustache. Oh funny glasses It's just like a funny thing. You wear funny glasses and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm crazy It's like what it's what every it's a professional chef thing. I like crazy sunglasses crazy sunglasses are great always Oh, it's I don't even fucking come down in them. It's just more just understand that like a pair of glasses doesn't just make you loony You know how he'd be loony? It's if he was in that jail cell and he had groucher glasses on Then he'd be loony then I'd be like that's a loony funny guy. Oh look at him He brought his own funny little props in a jail. He put groucho glasses up his ass What I want big white gloves. Yeah, I want them to get packages from Acme I have a roll-out fake like wall like I think it's a cake shape like a saw God damn it loony, you know like pulling all the fucking Files out pulling the giant ticking bomb out of the fucking cake But that's like that's why I'm just being like you don't look he let us down as a people he let me down So I kind of story and rarely enjoy stories Sent to me from people sure and but this one I don't this flew under our radar. I hadn't heard about this at all to me This should be front page on every newspaper The story is from May 20th. So it is a slight let's say a couple weeks old But once I heard about I was like what the fuck so this guy all right Lucas Jones He's a young man. He's a he's 19 years old He's accused of dumping suitcases with human remains in Palm Bay's compound area and he has now been indicted for murder All right, normal story guy kills somebody. Yeah, put some put some in suitcase, you know, it's Palm Bay I lived in Palm Bay for a period. It's very Florida. It's a bad place. I did not enjoy it You know, I was child, but you know, what are you gonna do? So the reason this is interesting is because Lucas Jones Killed holy Lee Daniel who's holy Lee Daniel seems like just a normal guy He was a registered sex offender. Does that mean he should be murdered? No, but he was and he found him and then what happened is Lucas started courting him on a dating app and he started and he like he like found out who this guy was and he so He he started courting him and then he get he knew he was a sex offender and then they went and met up and then I beat in the death For the baseball pass see this guy is doing the like it's hard to do you know like we got it like just straight up Even from last week's story, we talked about bricks and minifigs, right? Yeah to stop showing it. You can't harass the places because bricks and minifigs got nothing to do with it Same thing with this where we're like I can't tell you to go kill pedophiles Okay, I can't recommend that you go and groom pedophiles and then Invite him out to like areas and beat him in death. Okay, I can't but I will say if we're gonna do it to one person That's fine. I think it's okay to do it once or twice So he's going to jail as he should so Jones he dismembered the body using a cleaver or saw a knife And then he helped and he forced his girlfriend to help him transport the remains Yep, and they but he just threw it in the like kind of link of the swamps of Palm Bay, which is next to Melburn Is alive. It's just a lot of fucking marshland around there and the cops found a bunch of vultures circling and then they found the body This is what I was like recommend to don't murder a pedophile Psychologically torture a pedophile like I don't so this is my other my other big tip here is like don't murder him Do stuff like take a cock on fill You know black is mailbox. Yeah, um slashes tires You know like do stuff like that like put a lot to like dog shit filled bags on fire on his front stoop. Yeah, that's like Totally on the that's on the fucking table. Yeah, you can do all of that It's all stuff that you could do you could steal his license plates You could break his windows and stuff like that. That's again. That's fine. It's not murder see this guy Lucas Jones. He is Seems it seems like he is crazy He got in trouble for almost killing some friends for driving recklessly Recently and he stayed worried they said he should have been put in jail for that, but he wasn't But here's the deal the reason they're calling him like Dexter is because he kept a slide of the guy's DNA He gave like a microscope He's the same slide of the guy's DNA. It's not good, man. So he was obviously influenced by Dexter. Oh, yes Very much so and he had plans to do more. Yes, and he had a list of other pedophiles that he was gonna kill You know it's called after the first one. He's just not he's super not good at it He was super not good at it And that's why you got to put more time and thought and I'd say you got to you know when I'd say it's wrong with the Generation before us is what I was saying man. I got to read yeah read some books I feel like if you read more books, it'll read murder based books. Yeah, I know the yeah Just watching S.V.U. is not it's not gonna get you out of the crime because it's with those TV writers know nothing They know not to hire lawyers to be on the show. Yes, but still they fucking don't give a shit You got to read the books read some books get some full-large Farm at learning and they're because that's gonna help you do the things you want to do Yeah, and all the other yeah, die teen. He's stupid. He's going to jail for the rest of his life and That does suck, but I will say in jail. I think people all like him Will he go to jail for the rest of his life though for this? Well, they give him like 20 years and then he'll know oh no, it's premeditated first-degree murder Yeah, yeah, Florida they still have the death penalty. Yeah, he's a he I think he's gonna get life in prison love pedophiles in Florida They love them. It's like you yeah, you're killing a pedophiles like killing the predators and a pedophiles move Yeah, like pedophiles moved to Florida because that's where you yeah, they're comfortable there Yeah, they like it there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why they go there so cuz again because they support them. They love them Now we went to Florida, but do you want to go back to Brazil for CZC? You know I love and he's story my friend Now this story comes out of one of my favorite things in the world which is Old lady pretending to be baby. Yeah, we got another orphan story I love you. You don't like about this one. It is one It's not the fake one like Natalia Grace. That one made everybody sad in the end even though we all wanted to be true Everyone dead even Natalia and we none of us can can make it happen and so now it's actually happening And I'm as excited as I've ever been in my fucking life So this is great a woman by the name of Amanda Maria Salazar. They all of the era. She has launched the scheme It's been going on for many years. So she's 37 years young and She spent about 14 months convincing a pastor in his family. She was a 12 year old girl Now you may say like how how right how she drank from a baby bottle She's a pacifier. She faked night terrors, right all these different needles put inside of her and hit here I'm looking her up. I'm trying to find her. Oh you'll see her right you can see the back of her
right? So the couples where they said a part of it being like, oh, she's a big 12-year-old. And the past congregation said, oh, they were concerned for her weight, so they got her on Moonjaro. If you were a 12th birthday party and they're a whole thing, they're on the way to adopting her. And then this thing turns out like what she said was a man told them when they met her. They guess that she was, she arrived at a service for this pastor and basically acted like she was mentally handicapped. She has this sort of affectations that she uses, like she is, she's mentally handicapped. And then she says all this stuff about how she was. She was a part of, well, she does this. Let me, in Spanish, I think you could go like, right? Is that mine? Is that mine? Oh my god. This is just a grown woman. No, it's a full-on grown-ass woman. Yeah, it's just a woman, yeah. It's a full, I think a lot of hope turned her 12. But the family did it better off saying she was a 12-year-old boy. The problems of pastors were, were stupid. So she said that they had forced tit growing experiments on her as a little girl. Oh my god. They made her use hormone treatment on her and that she was trafficked. They grew my breasts to big sizes. Yeah, listen, listen, I think that everything that they say I listen, I do they think that it's terrible. They say it is. Yes, yes, yes, we are all sad 40. But my question, my question to you, Amanda, Amanda, do you have any of that big ditches for my wife? I like to stick some of the big ditches into my wife. And so she came out, she said that she was forced into prostitution as a little girl because her original father forced her into satanic witchcraft rituals, right? That was the whole thing. And the pastor was like, yes. She said she seemed like an obese autistic teenager and spoke like a child, which is honestly, you're talking about half a Missouri. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's a big old that'll happen. I see them. So they said that like, it's kind of quick. So she had kind of tortured herself. She had put needles inside of her own skin to create the story of that she was tortured for years. Oh my god. Eventually, she was broken down by the investigators, eventually just said like, you're a 40-year-old fucking woman. Yeah, we're going to start punching you. Oh, yeah, she also been, she had already been arrested and convicted of stealing an identity in glass in another part of Brazil earlier. This is not her first rodeo. She's done this several times. And to me, it's really about the dumb, for me, it is taking advantage of a dumb religious family number one, also an advantageous of religious family because there's nothing a religious family loves more than to take in like a mentally handicapped person or something like that and use it as like a badge of honor for everybody to love them, right? Yeah. How many times I've seen this? I've seen so many like religious families that would like, you know, they adopt somebody from Africa, column, Timothy, then make him like American, you know what I mean? Like that thing, like they do the thing and they're just so proud, like, oh, look at that. He can Skype or not, like they got style where I think these, these pastors are so excited to to flip an autistic child that they want it so bad that they'll do anything to get one. And I think that's what this is. They want it to flipper and do something bigger, better, something cooler, obviously because they're trying to make her skin air or they're trying to make a fuckable by giving her Munjaro for some reason. So I don't know why. I don't know why they're trying to fucking, you know, like, lean around 12 year old ways, but then she'd be one, wouldn't she? And she wouldn't have giant 40 year old middle aged beautiful tits, right? I don't think you gave, you said giant and beautiful. I don't think those are accurate. I'll be nice. I'm sure to be nice to the woman and just say that she had bigger than a 12 year old's breast. And let's just say we all know it's different. Yeah. Right. So that's the thing. You just put in a Prada Lion King shirt on her and a baby ball on her mouth does not make it does not a 12 year old make. No. So I think that they were looking for an easy go. It had a good new orphan and, uh, you know, some things are just too good to be true. And if you look at this stuff like a gang with Brazil, it's also just kind of easier. I love how we believe the alien footage and not her. Of course, she's obviously a 37 year old woman. She looks like a lunch lady and a cafeteria in Toledo. And if you act like a 12 year old, if you act like one of these ABDL people, you better have like their stolen dollar. You shit in a diaper. Yeah. If you're not shitting in a diaper, that's it. You ain't that you ain't that you ain't that. All right. So I love this story because I love fake children. I think fake children are one of my favorite things in the world. Everybody wants to be a baby again. I get it. But it's just it's hard to wheel that clock back successfully. Yeah. No one's good about fake children as people don't get as mad when you hit them. But now you go back and you can really clock the hell out of it. That's a full grown woman. All right. So I want to talk to you about this. And it's just like such. It's something that like I started off as like a bane to my existence and has now like become somewhat interesting. So all right. You know how like you got your shows and your wife's got her shows. Yes. All right. So she watches her shows long form discussions of people that have been molested. Yeah. And I watch a lot of cooking shows. Yeah. So Julie's like a lot more normal than Natalie. Yep. Yes. She likes reality television. Yes. She does. And a lot of people love reality television. But she's got me watching this fucking show called summer house. Now you're what what is it? And what is what is the summer house? Here's like here's the context for all this. All right. So summer house. The main storyline is within four people who live at the house. So basically it's a bunch of rich fucking Instagram people and they go in the summer. They go spend their weekends in Long Island at the summer house. That's very nice. Is this real or is it just a show? It's real. You know, it's it's a reality television and it's supposedly real. But we all know that it's very scripted. Yes. Sure. All right. And so now you we you did say this does come to last podcast. I'm telling just let just come with me on the Marcus context here and it will and it will come around. All right. Got it. And I want you into my hometown. Oh, yeah. Oh, where I grew up. Watermill. Oh, watermill. Great. Great. This is perfect. Oh, nice. The guy. So somewhere else been going on for a long time, something like 10 years. All right. The guy going on for that long. Dude, it's crazy. People fucking love this shit. I hate it. It makes me crazy. People literally like every time I watch it, like my blood boils and it just makes me super mad because I also think Andy Cohen's a demon. Can we go burn that house down? I mean, it's here's the deal. So the house is owned by this guy named Kyle. Kyle. This is my version of this lady. So if you watch the show, I'm about to ruin it for you. Good. So Kyle is a piece of shit. He always gets too drunk and he ruins the fucking the good time for everybody. Mm-hmm. Everyone else on summer house. Kyle's like in his late 30s. Everyone else on summer house is like a child. Yeah. So anybody like 20s. Yeah. So somebody in their late 30s, if those of you that are not in your late 30s or in your 40s to a 25 year old, you are a living walking corpse. Yeah. So there's Kyle. He's a fucking douchebag. No. Not with that hair. Kyle. Everyone fucking hates Kyle. That guy's a douchebag. He ruins every day. No. That guy's a douche. That guy. He flips out randomly. He like throws shit. Everyone. No one likes him and he's married to Amanda. I'm really excited for him to end up in a true crime case where he's the victim. Amanda was and they're married and they hate each other. Oh good. They fight constantly. That's the heart of the show. Yeah. It's kind of like the heart of the show. They are now in the middle of a divorce. Great. But she was mad because he decided out of nowhere. I'm gonna be a DJ. And so he's out all night. He's partying with fans. He's getting real fucked up. He's doing a lot of things that don't seem right for a married man. It's kind of nice. It's all things that will eventually stop his career. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything that keeps him from working is great. So Amanda is like in the middle of a divorce with him. Now her best friend is this chick. Sierra. Very hot black chick. She's on the show. She's gorgeous. Everyone loves Sierra. She's very kind. She's gotten it. She's got so you know, she's a model. She's like she's wonderful human being. She's the only out of everyone on the show. I would say she's the only one I would voluntarily hang out with. Okay. All right. She seems like a decent human being. She was dating this dude named West. West is an amazing scumbag. He looks horrible. Kyle and West. Yeah. And how are you watching the show? I hate it. How are you making? How are you making it? I literally Julie has to tell me to be quiet because I pick it apart. And she's like you make you make me mad whenever you I'm like, well, I'm the only person who's gonna watch this with you. She's just like, West is such a fucking scumbag. He's the worst. He's like, Eddie, stop watching this. He's a professional. West is a professional reality star. Oh, I'd rather fucking be. I'd rather him be a family annihilator. I'm telling you this is going to come around. All right. Just stick with me. Okay. So West starts like he's dating Sierra. Okay. And they break up and he's trying to rekindle things with Sierra. And they're going and things are going well. And they film the entire season. Amanda's breaking up with Kyle and then and then he's like, he's like trying to rekindle things with Sierra. And it's all like very much part. So they film the whole thing. We know this is what happens after the season ends. It comes out that West was secretly fucking Amanda the whole time. And someone like
found them and like took pictures of them like hooking up and then released it to the internet. And so now everyone, Amanda and Ciara are like best friends. And so now it's everyone's like everyone jumpship from hating Kyle and now they hate Amanda. All right, and so like Amanda and Kyle, they like, and then Andy Cohen's the puppet master. - Yo, he fucking loves it, he loves all this shit. - He loves all this shit, he fucking loves it. - Okay, yeah, so now they have the reunion, all right? - So like everyone, so West has to atone for everything he did wrong to Ciara. - Amanda has to take in balls off. He's gonna fucking, 'cause he slid his throat so he would crucify him. - So basically they have, they filmed this reunion. - I wanna crucify that guy. I literally wanna nail him to a crucifix. - He's the first thing. - I'm not a fucking, I wanna watch him die. - The entire world agrees with you. - Yeah, I wanna just look and out of my head, that jacket. I just wanna fucking cut, I wanna cut his side and make sure I wore it. - Did he hit like one day he was on and he had like a horse hair tie on, like a piece of shit. - You guys don't deserve these women. - No, no, no, no, no, no, she's the hell we get to. - She don't deserve anything. - All right, all right. - He's a fucking cunt. - Okay, all right, all right. - So they do the whole show and now they're having like three union, you know what, they all sit together for like a three hour conversation, and they just like rip each other the shreds. - Yes, that's like my least favorite part about stuff. Like I'd go with, I like drag race. I like the costumes and the dancing. - No, they're so aggressive. They all hate each other. - I know the time. I want something nice. - I want creative things. - So they have the reunion and everyone's just rippin' in the West. Everyone's rippin' in the Amanda. CR is fuckin' crushing it 'cause she's Google shit and she's always nice, but now she's gonna take these motherfuckers out and it's fuckin' awesome. And people are like, and she's sitting next to Kyle and they're on one side and then West and Amanda are on the other side. And then West also has this other secret girlfriend and everyone's shittin' on on this. And so like, they're doing this whole big meetup and then turns out the day before, no one knew this when they were filming, but the day before the filming started, West, his cousin, his name is, his cousin is the Dakota Sweeney, a man. His name's Dakota Sweeney. Murdered his grandmother. - Wow. - Murdered West's grandmother. West's cousin straight up murdered his grandmother, the day before the reunion. - Is it so this? (laughing) - So are you, are you trying to say that everyone's dog piling on? - You can't say it's still in their dog pile on them. On the reunion, he's just sittin' there, takin' it like a fuckin' wound to dodge. (grunting) - Honestly, they're all like, "Yo, but no one knows about this fuckin' grandmother that got murdered." - That's kind of face. - But the day before, can I say? - He's just crying. (laughing) - It's all like his cousin murdered his grandfather Sweeney. (laughing) - Wow. - It's all like, you know what, man? - And it's just like, what I found out about like, hold on. - That makes me, it'll kind of laugh. - I don't think it might be so funny anywhere. - Imagine this, imagine being this big of a scumbag. You're cousin, murders your grandmother, but you still show up to your reality television, get beat on show, 'cause he has to, 'cause he's contractually obligated, he's getting paid to be there. - Andy Cohen is the real demon here. He knows this fuckin' 26-year-old, just had his grandmother murdered and he's like, "No, you gotta show up tonight." - I think that. - You gotta fuckin' be here. You gotta show up. (laughing) - I might say straight up that Andy Cohen might not be a nice guy. - I would love the sounds like a cold podcast to do an Andy Cohen episode. - D.R.A., if you wanna listen, I would love it. If you did an Andy Cohen, sounds like a cold episode because I really think Andy Cohen is a bad man. - I think he's a bad man. - He's a bad dude. - That's fuckin' insane dude. - Yeah, he's so bad. - That's like very, very like, I just feel like we're getting to a point where, like was the secret live moment. - I ain't gonna work. - I just insane. - I'm not show up, your grandmother was murdered. - I just went on a-- - What the fuck is it, dude? - I just went on a full on dreading, is it covered the story of the fuckin' bitch from Morgan, what was it? Mormon, why are the secret lives of Mormon wives? - Yes. - And talked about that whole thing and the idea of like, they're shooting the show like while she's beating the shit out of her husband and like while she's doing all these like horrible things and but it's like she essentially like, which I also don't even understand how she created a Mormon TikTok world where they're all showing their belly buttons. Like literally they're all like, scantily clad, showing their butts and stuff, like it doesn't really make any sense until falling apart. And I do think, I think that these things might be getting out of hand. - Yeah. - I think that once we're at the point where we're making, 'cause like I think it started once we had whatever that piece of shit's name, what was his name, Spicer? Was that, oh, when we had him on dancing with the stars, Sean Spicer. - Sean Spicer, yeah. - When Sean Spicer went on dancing in the stars. - But that's a competition show. But it's changing everything that we're doing now. Now we're really in the world where you can genuinely do a crime to get enough juice to get a television show. - I mean, Carol Baskin on dancing with the stars. - We're now really in the area. - Don't get Rudy Giuliani on the mask singer. - Oh, I remember. - I remember. - But we're really getting to a point where, like someone's like asking me like, oh, where is our television show blah, blah, blah. And it's like, we would have to like commit a crime. - Yeah. To be famous enough to do the show. - I will say this. - It's just fucking wild. Like we're at right now in terms of like, how is this help anybody? How is this good work for anybody? How is this helping the industry? How is this helping the people, the crews that work in the industry? How is this doing anything? - Reality television sucks because everyone's just watching them to like, they're basically validating how awful they are by watching it and supporting them. - But the idea is that we're all-- - And they go in and they destroy each other and they treat each other like shit. And then we all fucking watch it and validate them. We're like, I hate them, but you're fucking watching it. - Yeah, I mean, I like, I watch true crime. I like watching, and I like all my exploits through crime. I like it all. I like every single bit of, I like the evil stuff. I like all of it because-- - But that's the story. - Yes. - You're not like two fucking blonde chicks fighting over, who came up with a phrase. - Well, that shit makes me crazy. - That's like why Jerry Springer was popular though. - Oh, yeah. - It makes sense. - Why? - At least there was real controversy with Jerry Springer. At least it was like paternity tests and stuff like this. This is just nonsense, rich people complaining about their fucking lives being great. - Well, what it is is showing the United States, the people in the United States of America. Number one, this idea that you'd make a certain amount of money and you get to a certain point where your new influencer means you count more. It means your voice counts more. It means your vote counts more. All this type of shit. That's one reason why people, I think, like it because they wanna be in the same scenario. They think that they can get into the reality television loop. But what they don't realize is number two is the secret sacrifice you make. That they don't fully understand that it's the lesson that no one is learning right now, which is we didn't learn it with Mamdani. We're not learning it with all these other culture of things. We're not learning about how you also give something up though. It is a two way street. So it is not something that you, once you become a reality television star, you definitely sign a deal with the devil of show business itself where you are giving up a piece of your very soul for money. - Yeah. - You're giving it up. And the problem is that the United States of America is viewing that as awesome. They think that right now is like that's the way to go when it really should be. But I love it something like how with Mamdani, we're really missing the message here of he's straight up just saying, I'm gonna be the mayor of New York City and that's it. Yeah, I don't care about being president, I don't care about being senator. I'm here to do this thing right now. And they're automatically, automatically, everyone's dog pile in all of this like hope on him. Hunter Biden, same thing. They're dumping all this kind of hope on him. And it's like don't do this to these motherfuckers. - Yeah. - They're not the ones for you. And also we need to figure out other things. We're just at a weird place where nobody understands in order to get that top seat, you also have to sacrifice something. And when we are constantly saying how wonderful it is, how they sell their souls for money, it's just gonna lead to more pain. - Also, I gotta say like if you're just watching all these people fight with each other all the time, then you all the sudden become petty yourself. - It can be, it's true, but also I get the shortened fruit. I get the idea of like watching people in a fishbowl be tortured and why you like it. I understand what you like it. - Love Island was fucking horrifying to me. I felt like there were all prisoners forced to fuck each other. - I'd rather hang out with the John Wayne Gacy than anybody from Summer House. - Yeah. - I'd rather hang out with David Berkowitz. - I don't know. - Than any member of any one of these shows. - I have to say that I think that all of us would love to hang out with Sierra. I think that Laura is trying to keep us at arm's length. - Carl seems like a lunatic. - There's all monsters. - Again, Carl, like everyone loves Carl and he's very nice, but I don't know why. I just feel like he's gonna fucking strangle someone to death one day. - I'd rather hang out with Vladimir Putin. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like all these people, I'd rather hang out with any villain of history. - Oh my god. - These people have less inside of them than the worst villains of history. - How's this guy Luke? - Luke sucks. - He, of course, Luke sucks. - Luke sucks.
The they all fucking suck, but there's the black guy go down go down go down again. Well, they put him at the bottom. Well They didn't even include him. Google. Hey, I didn't even include him. Oh, man. Why don't remember his name? So I'm not much better right now. You're against your own race to people in the show. Oh, dude It's been running forever people come and go and the thing is like everyone's like. Oh, they're gonna recast They don't want to people don't want to be on with Western Amanda next year They don't understand the show's gonna get canceled. There's no show without Western Amanda. Nobody gives a fuck cuz they're the horrible people Cuz you need the horrible people to fucking do it. Yep Well, yeah, cuz good people on a tell on television is an interesting. Yes. Yeah, they just like oh, they're nice and then you move on No, but I think that's why I like my great British. Yeah, I watch my great British. Wonderful. I watch my great British I watch my I do like dancing with the stars. Yeah, I understand dance with the stars is kind of like I hope it replaces football I understand if that's one of those things. I was like it's I think it's better than sports. Yeah, I sure See, I like you know, I like my my simple shows are like it's great British and antiques road show antics Roadshow's fun. I've been watching a lot of antics roadshow to shut off at the very very end of the night. I like the pottery throwdown My only thing with pottery throwdown to sexual for me really to many fucking tongue and cheek I love the big guy who cries all the time. He likes he's like a nice a nice ball and he just starts crying I love that fucking guy. He's all yeah that guy. What's his name? I fucking think he's the best. He's so cute He's such an old man. He just cries. Yeah, I know, but it's just but also if you cry at a bowl What are you gonna do with the news buddy? Oh, man. Here we go. Let's get some listen emails. All right. This is gonna get dark Isn't it actually I don't think so there's a whole bunch of stories about stab and horses. No, but it's actually more hopeful than I thought Okay, let's hear it finally my tenure of being a full-time horse girl out then listener can come in handy You absolutely do not need to kill a horse if it's to injured or stabbed anywhere but the trunk I work with fancy pants expensive sport horses and these beasts are out there injuring themselves another's constantly this persistent myth exists because a horse's legs Don't have great circulation to heal soft tissue injuries picture a horse slower limbs are almost all bone little flesh And they're very large size means extra pressure on skeleton to stay upright a horse can't hop around like a tripod dog Right like they're not built to do that So what you have to do is it takes a very special pen, right? So there's a very advanced medical care available for these extremely expensive money pits that people love called horses Yes, a stab wound in the leg could end up being fatal if it were to penetrate the joint capsule and And start an infection in the joint itself, but more often than not with injuries to the limbs they are stitched up their Bandage and treated into the wounds healed what they'll do to is they put him in a situation where they were in a super tight stall Yeah, because the legs the way they sleep, which I did not understand is that we never lay down because they'll die Like they'll die if they lay down their organs will stop functioning because they're so heavy and they can't get back up So what they do is but I've seen horses lay down they do but they it's it doesn't they don't do it a lot to sleep normally to sleep They lock their knees they have this like this thing that their legs go into like a lock position and they sleep standing up That's kind of that sounds great. It's interesting And so what they do is they put it in that they can put it they can squeeze them in like a sling and like a thing But the main issue is it costs a lot of money So if you get stabbed to your horse money for the horse to sleep to get the specialized barns You would need to do medical care to the horse for the therapy Yes, my grandfather spent the whole families money on 10 race horses that people do that one fucking race out of all of them You could have a you could have had a much better life if he didn't do that They really could think I'm a how much nicer your life could have been if he had put all that into the restaurant Right, which was doing well. Yeah, the restaurant was doing really well in your family. Yeah, yeah, it's gone And he took it all out of that. He put in a horses. Yeah, it's way worse I got to go to the track every day when I was a child see that's nice. Yeah, that's nice instead of the working restaurant Yeah, yeah The horses are recovering though. Oh, yes, they are the ones from the story that got stabbed us week They are okay. They got stabbed in the torso. They're okay. They're gonna be all be fine. What kind of What part of the horse is the trunk the middle part of it? That's the trunk That's the trunk because I googled horse trunk and some gross things came up. Yeah, it was just cases made of horse. Oh, yes So largely people did so this is a and the example is This is a very like this was a premeditated attack that the Emily did the Emily girl did against these horses from last week Yeah, but again all savable Okay, good. So all the horses okay, it really looks like she was doing it because she was bad at at doing the barrel raising Ah, and she wanted to she was angry and she was like a stalker and they're apparently horse stalkers are also a big thing People that have become obsessed with the horses and they just can't afford to take care of and be a part of it Yes, and so they've this one lady told like honesty. It's a very long story become a vet It is a the whole thing is about This lady kind of became like a horse groupie where she started hanging around with the horses and was like looking for all these things that eventually found her way into a pen Late at night and was like fucking with the horses like really weird. It all come like reading the play equis Like what we talked about with Daniel Radley Cliffs penis last week people have Extremely personal relationships the horses. Well, it's the only thing that can make a cowboy cry They are the most they're like dogs in that way to many they all say that they're better than dog They're more if you give a really strong bond with a horse people I would say it's probably a bigger bond than a bond with a dog. Yeah, because dog can't also be your car Yeah, yeah, I mean the dog and they're like the horse can be your car Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they are they are fucking awesome, dude Horses are really cool But yeah, they have to be it's just it's standing on whether or not they want to spend the money to fix the the poor poor sweet sweet sweet to poor teeth Yeah, man, I went to this on our honeymoon julie and I went to this place called va case It's a little island plus off of Puerto Rico and it's like abandoned because they did a lot of nuclear testing there But there's like a whole like resort part of it, which is super nice And I was like oh, we'll go check it out. There's a loop as a luminescent bay or a bioluminescent bay and all this stuff I was like this sounds wonderful no one told me that the whole island. It's just littered with stray horses Cool. Yeah, like and I call them stray well wild will be the trash You know, they're like walking along the street. They're not like like frallicking in the woods They're just like everywhere and it's like a nuisance and they're like walking around like when I was in the pool They were like drinking out of the pool It was very it was it was very weird, but they were they were fun and then what I noticed is all the wild dogs with like torture the wild horses Wow, they would like circle them and bark at them and like they're hurting legs They're hurting them. They're doing weird but hurting like activity. It was it was interesting. Um, all right And I have one little I thought this was really funny. I went here. We don't normally get that like this is to me This is my version of a last podcast and left human interest story because this is a very funny story in the name of pride month We're here. I want to tell the story of someone's very funny coming out which is very it's you know, maybe I've I've been out as a trans woman for six years And when I was going through my name change I decided is when I was it was finished I would all come out at work Boss is already new. I went through HR paperwork. So everything was great On the last Wednesday of March I changed my name and on Thursday I got my new driver's license And on Friday I went into work as a guy for the last time I explained to my direct co-workers. I changed my name to spice. I'm trans. It all went fine problem one Only told my direct co-workers nobody else than building got a memo which leads into problem two Ladies room. I was not going to be using was in a different section because my group was between two spots Regardless of where I went someone might think because that monday also happened to be problem three April fools day. Oh my god As mentioned I changed my name on the last Wednesday of March and monday Happened to be April first So my first day out as a trans woman and my office job was on April first Because I'm a smart person and I don't know that but I was so anxious I tried taking the stall the far end to have as much distance between me and everyone else as possible Which is how I learned the gap in the door of the handicaps stall goes directly over the middle of the toilet And I got to say having my lady lance and light on a site was that what my anxiety needed Thankfully nothing ever happened. I was anxious, but other than that things were fine. I eventually got fired for other reasons Um, and now I work somewhere else, but only now they know me and as a woman which is nice You wouldn't think a warehouse would be accepting, but we're union and most people don't get fuck. Yeah, that's right No, don't go fuck no warehouses are the exception. Oh, yeah, I wanted to share because I'm an attention whore and you guys have been so fun over the years Thank you. Honestly, I just thought it was really funny. It's funny. It's kind of those for you both things But yeah, honestly, I found like work people blue cut. This is the whole thing When it comes to these issues is that pretty much every person Everywhere knows somebody in a true alternative lifestyle. Yeah, and you everybody in every town Every little town probably has a clean as a trans person and gay person of the kind of thing and you notice those guys They're all fine with their local alternative person. Yeah, because they met them they know them They just literally don't have the ability because they've lost it over the years of either not Meditating not taking care of themselves not paying attention not letting empathy let in They don't understand that they can apply that to others because they're like no well, I know that one And I like that one. That must be one of the good ones. Yeah, they don't understand like no you just that's your neighbor and actually just
just neighbors have the same percentage points of being dickheads, murders, ripus, and angels. - You can hate them for their human aspects. - Honestly, there's so many rich, wonderful ways to hate a person. - Yeah. - You know, not just even for what they identify as. Truly, honestly, that's the last thing. - Yeah. - You could be a trans bitch, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's one of my favorite things in the world about it, right? So thank you for sharing your story and I hope that Pride Month's fucking awesome for you. And don't worry, Eddie and I are not gonna be out there stealing the grand marshal of any parade from anybody. You know, we're not gonna be doing that. We're not those kind of white guys in podcasting. - We do have like a fun, a fun Pride episode coming up next week. - We can do it stories. - We really do, we can be very happy about this. - Yeah, I'm really excited about that. Let me old bullshit out of the can yet, but you guys are gonna fucking love it. - Friend of the show. And we want to give a shout out to reckless Ben. We were supposed to talk to him today. Did it work out? He is currently under a gag order. There's a whole thing going on with this bricks and minifigs story that is obviously wildly out of control. He has been harassed by the police. He's got a gag order put on him by the same judge that is currently overseeing the Charlie Kirk's murderer. Trial, who's this extreme Mormon. So right now, reckless Ben is in a lot of fucking trouble. But it does look like bricks and minifigs is folding. So they looked like they were giving them all the clutch and whatever the fuck that means. And again, I also want to point out, Kim, that guy, the main villain of that story. There's a Mormon with a handlebar mustache. And I want you to remember that, okay? Because that handlebar mustache to me is the reason why he's doing this. - It's not that I can. - It is. And every day, knowing for a fact, when you see a handlebar mustache, don't judge the man, judge the mustache. - Yeah. - All right, you know, love the fact that that mustache is one of the, that's a key indicator that that person is trying to tell you, which is to laugh at them. And I think it's a really good idea. Now, go check out our new show. - That's right, we won't stop. - We are doing a show, okay? Let's just say, it's certainly not just contractually obligated. We were super excited. So this is a big old fucking show. We're doing for Sirius XM exclusively over on Sirius XM Podcast Plus. It is movie stories with Adam myself. We are putting onto a whole, we're telling stories around, some of our favorite movies, investigating our favorite directors, talking about them, and then kind of just like having a fun, like last podcast, themed movie style adventures. - Yeah, because Henry and I are big movie fans. We've always been movie fans. Been a big part of our friendship for over 20 years. - Yes. - But there, no matter how much you love movies and you are obsessed with them, just you haven't seen all of it. - You haven't seen anything. - Yes. - I've seen so many movies that I still haven't seen anything. - So the series, the first four episodes are about William Friedkin because love the exorcist, love French connection. Have I seen anything else? - No. - So Henry and I watch the whole fucking catalog. - Everything he made, and then we're doing it up. We're doing a big thing on them. And then we're gonna move on to other directors. And then in between the director highlights, we're gonna have little, just quick little episodes. - Yes, we're really excited for it. So I hope we go check it out and the videos on Patreon. So if you go to patreon.com/lastspotguests on the left, you get all the video too, for just that. So if you are on Patreon, it comes out every Thursday. If you are on Patreon, you don't need to do the fucking serious XM thing. You can just watch it on Patreon. - And if you're on serious XM, make sure you don't have to do the Patreon. It's just how it is, it's not, you know, it's just something we're doing for fun. And I hope you guys enjoy it. Side stories, of course, will always be free. We're not, yeah, always, all, we are goal. So always make sure our shows are always available for free. And we have a lot of shows over here on LPN. Check out all of them, I'll go to someplace underneath. LPN Romanticie, the former report, no goggles space, brighter side, page seven. Nerd of mouth, go check out our new shows. Go check out our YouTube channels, LPN TV. - Yeah. - All of it's there. Go finals for HGX2, start this week. - Good. - You first Julien Amber. - I wonder what's gonna happen. It's gonna be fucking awesome. We're gonna run the finals, our huge. They're gonna run for two weeks. So the next two Thursday is at 7pm on LPN TV. Make sure you're watching the HGX2 finals. We're gonna crown a ham lord. It's gonna be wild. I hope you're fucking ready for this shit. - Yep. - It comes on right after we release last dream on the left on the YouTube. So just stick around after that. You'll go right into the next episode. - And also I'd like to give a big ol' welcome, big ol' American style Bienvenido to the screw worm. Congrats for making it to Texas. So proud of you, new, new you'd love Texas. And so. - It's a New Mexico, too. - Yeah, common to Mexico. - Yeah. - So go enjoy yourself screw worm. I hope you run for president. - Yep, no, it's just, yeah, we're just gonna have to kill a bunch of cows. - Hopefully those screws were working too. It's way up through Governor Abbott's useless fucking legs and drop a bunch of eggs into his fucking useless fucking intestines and they kill him from the inside out. - Oh, please, please, please. - We'll see, we'll see, I got lots of shows coming up. Come and check me out July 10th. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, salute to Bethlehem. July 12th, Newark, New Jersey, Newark Culture Club. July 13th, NYC, City, Winery, July 19th, Plano, Texas. The mic drop over there. On July 26th, the comedy store. Henry's gonna be joining me for that one. July 31st and August 1st. I'm gonna be in Chicago at the Lincoln Lodge. And on August 1st, Logan Metz is gonna be joining me for "Promise of the Real." - Ooh, yeah. - And then on August 16th, Dead Men tells some tales is coming back to Dynasty typewriter. And I think we're gonna do a little, you can watch online type of deal. - Fuck yeah, all right, so we got a lot of things coming out. Go get tickets to all of that at editunes.com. - Hail Satan. - See you soon. - Peace out.
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