Side Stories: Disclosure Daze w/ Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

There's no place to escape to, and this is the last talk on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. How you doing, buddy? We have a very special guest in the studio in a little bit. It was really fun to have some nice feminine energy in this place. Yeah. It smelled better for a second. It did. Because, like, I tried it. I put Cologne on. Did you? I washed. Really? Yeah. I got this new squash deodorant. I hate it, but I'm wearing it, and I did it. I love that. Yeah. I love that. You just don't care. No one sells Mitchum anymore. I tried to switch him to Mitchum, and no one's got a fucking Mitchum. I'm liking it. I'm liking it. The backo in it. Yeah. But now my armpits are red again, because I'm squawching. You know what I find it? Because you, yeah, you got irritated. You used to do-- Old spice, fuck me. All right. This is a bad way to start. What are you talking about? We can't just talk about your underarm irritation. I feel like it was great. I mean, it's too late to show you where we began. Oh, good. Yeah. I thought you were trying to restart. No. We're locked into this. My shit's all fucked up. I'm fucking for help. You're fucking telling me to start over. This is a real problem that Ed has had forever. His armpits get irritated. Yeah. And only Mitchum helps me, but I can't find it anywhere. You'd be like to Mitchum. And I don't use Amazon, so I don't know what to do. He doesn't use-- Honestly, I told him to fucking put a red clay. That's what I always say. That's what he needs. Red clay. Maybe that's my issue. What? That's why it's all red. All the clay. Yeah, that might be the problem. Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zopraski. I'm sitting here with the irritated Ed Larson. [SCREAMING] And you're allowed to be irritated. I just feel like, you know what I switch to straight up? I just-- we're staying in this boring lane. I'll be right here. I switched up to fancy or deodorant. And it's better for me. Really? I use this like ball-- I'm willing to up my game. I'll send you what I use. Really? We have similar bodies. We do. Back in college, Henry was like, there's like this red spot above my penis. And then I literally was like, you mean like this one? And I shot-- Yeah. It goes away. Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah. Rob likes the native. I like the native too. I use the native, but I also use kind of like fancier stuff. Oh, nice. Yeah, we'll get you in there. Thank you. I appreciate you. Speaking of this, there's an update. Updates? You know, I just wanted to get into the very, very top. First of all, to all the people who wrote in about-- their handlebar moustache, the people that are fuck people with handlebar moustaches, the people who defended your handlebar moustache. I just want to say I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you stood up to me. Yeah. I'm proud that you did that. I'm proud that you stand on it. And I will reiterate what I said before, which is it wasn't a full on criticism of the handlebar moustache. But you men-- you straight men, as you'll see where guests we talked about today-- you straight men with handlebar moustaches are brave in the fact that you're you take that onto yourself and that fight onto yourself. And I appreciate that. I mean, it's better than just dress it and close from Walmart and smell them like shit. Completely agree, Eddie. And I want to say there's a lot of people that say the handlebar moustache makes a man look safe, I say opposite. But that's what a woman says. It's literally a cartoon image of a man tying a woman to a train track and blowing her up. That, though, I got several messages from women who said they specifically fuck men because they look like that. Women, we forget her brokenity. Yes. Like, that's the thing is that we forget a woman chose us. So for women, we're-- And we fixed them. We did. Oh, we got right in there. We got right in there. OK, and we fixed that up. So I know that those generous forward-thinking women exist. Yeah. And that's who's attracted to real men like us. Forward-thinking women, like inventors. Women who've already been with lots of bad men. And they're like, you know what? Attractions for the birds. Yeah, who cares? I can learn to be attracted to it. I can grow to be attracted to it. And you know what, ladies, you should try that. Try to be attracted to somebody you're not that isn't a toxic person just because they're nice. Yeah, ugly people are fine. They can be. Some of them are awful. Honestly, a lot of ugly people are also bad too. Yeah, you're right. You know what? Celibacy. Speaking of-- Become a lesbian. Smart School Boy Knight is bad. Oh, definitely become a lesbian. Now this guy, to remind all of you-- Around the end of 2024, this man, who was an Instagram user, went on the name Smart School Boy Knight and a bunch of other things. We went in a deep dive of this guy, where he pretended to be a little British boy, where he covered himself in makeup. He does a high-pitched voice. Yeah, he does a high-pitched voice. He dresses like a weird little old boy. He first started with him making fake Instagram accounts, where he was pretending to be a little boy, and then pretending to be all the other little kids talking back to him. He's a nightmare to behold. He's got a big, thick tongue that he sticks out. He's got these little-- he's painted his face white. And he dresses like Angus Young from AC/DC. And then what he does is that he chases little boys. Yeah, he follows people, right? He's been recently-- that's where it was escalating, too, because he also did truth sticks, too. There was other Stephanie Schooley was another account that he used. And if you look weird-- socials, that's one thing. That's, you know, what are you going to do? Yes, but he began to approach people in real life, which is what he then said he never did. He denied all this, but we know SmartSchoolboy9 is out there. And we know he stopped for a while due to all this attention. But it seems that SmartSchoolboy9 is no longer patient enough to stay home. Because Rob's going to play right now, SmartSchoolboy9 has sent another missive to all of us who dare comment upon his life. Hi there. I'm the real original SmartSchoolboy9, a proper child. Just be clear. OK, now I've probably heard about the unscrupulous scammers that had line about-- Sounds like you got two video explains. No, it's just bad at it. 2024. Well, listen to it. Some have decided to admit that they were asked to marry us. I was never asked why by SmartSchoolboy9 did this to himself. Yeah, we didn't know who they were. I'm admitting that they were, in some cases, begged to lie about me. Everybody told me to not talk about him specifically. Yeah, even me, I believe, yes. Look at those comments I've told about them. Plenty of those comments are, of course, from real bad people. Some have been caught already. Some have been found out, caught. Others were just scammers. But they got in so deep. Some of them, because they couldn't stop. They couldn't stop themselves. See, ScarSchoolboy9 thinks that coming at me is a good thing for him to do. So you think this is directed at you? Yeah. Now, who's full of themselves? SmartSchoolboy9, or you? I think that I am his Batman. And I have arrived here with him. No, I think that it's his good Nick Crowley. He was the guy that went deep in on SmartSchoolboy9. He's got 13 million views on his YouTube. Which is, I think, yeah, we've talked about this. We sent people to him. And I just think it's interesting that these villains want to come back. And we'll see what it's going to do, because he's saying that all of the scammers and the people that said lie is about him, they're all being punished and arrested. But here I am, SmartSchoolboy9. I don't think he's talking about us. I think that he should be, because we were probably the biggest show that actually covered him. Well, he's got 13 million YouTube views. The internet liked him, but now we're back covering him. Now we're here. So I just want to say SmartSchoolboy9. Good luck. Yeah, we're watching you. Coming at him. You're challenging him. Yeah, why not? Well, he's-- Come on the show. That's so-- Come on the show. Come on the show. Come on the show. Come on. Come on. You don't have the balls to come on the show. They're not invited. [LAUGHTER] Probably don't even fucking know where we live. I'll tell you exactly where we live. Where's-- six, five, six, metropolitan Avenue. Brooklyn, New York. Oh, there is a picture with our makeup. No, that is-- so I think someone else made that. Oh, someone's seeing what they really look like around. Yeah, someone else made that. So have there been any other reports like around? Well, they were saying that it went into hiding. I'm calling it it. It went into hiding at some point because of all the attention that was receiving. And then I think it just took off its fucking costume and its makeup. And now that it's getting-- it's ready to kind of find its way back because it needs attention. This is the attention. Yeah. Yeah, because it's got nothing else going on. Yeah, so what'll probably happen is this is maybe the time when they will do something bad. Seems like they'd be a great villain in it. a pointless film. That's what I'd love. Yeah. It seems like they never really disappeared. They just kind of went underground underground. Yeah, but they were still being creepy in messaging kids. Oh, yeah. We're gonna go through a manhole cover. I'm gonna be amazing. I'm from North way. All right, here we go. We're also we got here. We got. It's kind of a fun story that I like just real quick. I mean, I feel like I'd be disrespecting my alligator people not to bring it up. Please in Louisiana, there was a guy who got a DWI and when the cops pulled him over, he ran from them and he jumped into a swamp and then and they were like, hey, get out of that swamp. He's like, fuck you cops. And then a and then a gator saw him in the swamp and swam at rapid speed towards him and started attacking him and it's all on the web on the on the cops cam. It's pretty fucking cool. Whoa, I believe the alligator, the alligator, kill him. The alligator bit his arms up pretty bad, but he, um, he lived and he's in a hospital right now and he's gonna end up. He stole stuff. No, it's a DWI. Oh, that's a look. Oh, wow. Check this out. Check this out. You see him there. You see, but he's not gonna attack that some swimming and then you see it look at B line and right for it. It's this fucking B line. Yeah, that's a fucking cop. Yeah, that's sober up real fast. That's the thing. Like, I don't know if you can give him a breath for that. I just feel like, all right, buddy. I think we can call this even. If he's been bit by an alligator, like, you could just go and like, all right, you just, I think if the alligator took his arms, you can call it even. You know, just go home. Go home. I don't think he can go home. He's, oh, yeah. This is the thing is that now the entire they're making memes about making the big alligator a fucking police officer. Don't do this to the alligator. Yeah, it's hard enough life. Don't give it a job. It's a good job. They try to eat. They barely even have a pension plan anymore. Yeah, what's gonna happen when that alligator lives so hundred and fucking 75 years old, especially in Louisiana. Oh, my God. They treat their cops like shit down there. Absolutely. He's gonna die. Honestly, I bet you alligator as a cop dies faster than alligator in nature because of distress. Oh, yeah. The food, all the bad fast food and stuff like that. The hour's family. Oh, my God. My, your wife going, why do you hear to watch the eggs anymore? He's a goddamn bitch. I'm not as territorial as you. I'm just a fucking, I'm a lizard that has a job for the US government. I love to give him five fingers. Yeah, that's amazing. Of course, it's a guy. I rob you think it's a real fucking alligator in a cop costume. I don't trust this one. I don't try to. This one seems a little stupid. I think it's the fact that he's wearing a bulletproof vest. I want to wear an alligator need one. He's got scales. Yeah, you know, a little classy. Yeah, you know, it's better for the people. Yeah, honestly, but they just, you know, I DWI just stop and take it. Just roll over and take it. Guess what? Cause lots of times, yeah, right now it's bad. But it won't even ruin your life anymore. Look at used to. No, no, you'll be fine, especially in the Louisiana. They don't even have a little Louisiana. Yeah. Um, you want to talk about the dare devil who does. Yeah, that's just crazy. This is one of those where I know that they ask for pure death. I know that's the idea. I mean, it's a part of the, like, I guess like side stories, LPLG, gmail.com. I haven't seen a giant, like stunt in a long time. Do we want to see him succeed or are we happier when they die? No one watches this to watch them succeed. Everyone's watching to see him fall. But I do think that people are then upset when they do see him fall. Yes. Cause it's upsetting to watch someone die. Yes. People make a lot of, make a lot of decisions and watch a lot of things that make them upset. See, this is, this guy did a base jumping thing, right? So I guess he had walked on a slack line for way than that. And he, his name was sketchy. And he sketchy Lewis. His name should have been smacky. Yes. Flatties. He's famous for, he was the guy who performed during Madonna's Superbowl halftime show in 2012. And he died in a base jumping accident in Utah. Now, what is that? That just means he just jumped, right? And then he, he hit, he hit a bunch of, he battled teneted some, some, some heroin. He did? No, I'm just saying free, but it's based, based jumping free. I was not to say this much stories, but he got a lot better. No, no, he just fell. It's kind of sad. But here's the thing is if a daredevil never dies, then what's the point? Then what's the point of the whole genre? There, I know, I think that they have to die occasionally. I also feel like in this way, this man died, that in a way that would make him extremely happy. I think, you know, if he was going to die this way, I bet you he'd much rather die doing a base jump than dying of pancreatic cancer, like laying in a hospice. Yeah. I imagine that he'd never really even thought about having grandchildren surrounding him in a deathbed and him, like, you know, whittling and stuff like. He probably not. It's probably not even his mind. It's probably what he wanted. Who's the guy that does all the, like, declines like essentially flat surfaces, think if I have 500 K2, the guy that, that other guy did the Netflix thing. That was so boring. Free bowling. What's it called? Free, free solo. Free solo. Free solo. Yeah. He goes up there and he does that. He just hates his girlfriend so much. There's a free solo guy died to this week. I know there's free solo guy died. Yeah. Free solo climber dies after falling to a volcanic crater. Yeah. No, that happened this week too. And there was the chick who died, bunch of jumping, but they never attached the corridor. I think this is about the Gemini moon. Yeah. Is it in retrograde? Yeah. I think it's a bad moon for daredevils. It is. I just think that there's maybe there was a, like, bad shipment of grippy socks. There's like one systemic factor that might have led to all of this, like a carabena metal shortage. You're like, like, what's killing these guys? I mean, you know, just time, I think sketchy did. It was time for a group of them to die at once. If you call yourself sketchy and you walk between sky rises on a string, you're going to die. You're going to die. Eventually, you're going to die. And I do think that is the point. I do think the point of it is to eventually, like, that's the circus life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he holds Guinness Book World Records for walking a slackline above waterfall in China. Okay. And he had a previously, he beat his own record after he did it in Las Vegas. Wow. Yeah. And so he's performed stunts on at least three different continents. And why would they go over a bit called like a literal sizzling volcano? Oh, no, I think it was dormant. It was in Yemen. This is a different guy. Yeah. I know. I thought the same thing. I always do. Yeah. I can't help it. Is that am I the only person that doesn't, whatever? They see the word Yemen? See, I'm more like Yemen. See, mine's more like Yemen. Yemen. Yeah, man. Yemen. Yemen. Yemen. You know, but, uh, yeah. So he. So yeah. Fucking broken brains. That's what that is. Yeah. But, you know, why did they all die at once? It's free. So I don't know. It's just a coincidence that it all kind of happened at once. But you know, I feel like though that's almost good for the industry. Of course. Of course. They all go at once. If it's like a big thing that brings a lot of people back, because like I very rarely like, well, is there a mailing list for Daredevil stunts? I have no idea. I'm so far removed from the community. It couldn't be ridiculous. Well, like, why don't we get those, like, I feel like these things should be advertised more. I'm like, why are we not being invited to more Daredevil stunts? They should be on TV more. You know what it is? All right. So let's. I feel like there's a whole sketchy real quick. Look at sketchy. Look at Andy Lewis, Andy sketchy Lewis. You know what it is? Stress like shit. Evil, connevil, fucking came out. Beautiful suit, made noody suit type of shit. You don't have a great helmet. You know that you're already walking down my street because this guy's fucking dressed horribly. It's lazy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like, take your time. Think about every aspect of the show. Dress the job. Dress for the job you want. That's right. And he looks like he's dressed like a messy corpse. You should always look better than the audience. That's what part of being a performer. I agree. I feel like if that's a thing that we've lost on the whole. And I do think that that might have led to maybe if he took himself and his appearance more seriously, he would have taken his job more seriously. Oh my god. Nothing's worse than when you show up to see a fucking band and they're in shorts. Yeah. I mean, I talked about this. I won't wear pants on stage. I was taught by that. I was taught that. You wear pants on stage. You only wear pants on stage. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. You can't wear shorts. Even in the hottest, most horrible conditions, you're giving people power. Yeah. If you wear shorts, it better be over a hundred at an outdoor festival. If you're wearing shorts as a performer, you're are telling the audience, I'm not better than you. Yeah. Heckle me. No, you want to respect me. That's what you're saying. Just respect me. Here's my shins. Yeah. Hey, don't you hate the top? Don't you want to see? Oh, great. It's Alice Cooper socks. Yeah. That's what I want to see. But, you know, honestly, it makes me I'm sorry sketchy died. Yes. It's not about that. I don't think it's like this is if there was one subject in which the Yemeni Spider-Man. I'm sorry. He died. Yes. Well, that turns out he met the Yemeni hobgoblin. I mean, you have to be careful when you meet these guys. These unregulated non-union supervillains. Like they are out there. You know, these are just the knockoff supervillains from over here and they don't have any rules. Yeah. You know what? I think it might have been is. Yeah. I'm noticing this sketchy Andy Lewis. We're looking at his Instagram page 411,000. I think the problem dilemmas, this is daredevil shit has all gone to social media. It has. Even Keneval had like television, television, people were making sure he wasn't going to die, picking, making sure that the stunt was advertised correctly. Yeah, it's almost like what you're illustrating is a point that the central media tent, like tent poles are a useless, functionary, uh, money laundering system and probably wouldn't be the all and all and the most, uh, legitimate source to use for disclosure. You'd think that maybe even that the daredevils could teach somebody like Steven Spielberg that maybe had a bad time with disclosure, maybe they didn't need to go to a news station and all of this rigmarole, like you could have cut an hour and 15 minutes out of that fucking movie where they could have just posted a YouTube, but it's fine. Yeah. And they want to die. Like sketchy. Yeah. You know, it's almost like there's an internet that's like freely available and that the guy that's the super hacker that got the information to the first place are these spoilers? I don't get matters. No, they know. It's a popular movie. You know what the movie's about disclosure day? It's called disclosure day. Spoilers, if it's just a disc, it literally any, if I agree with you, if we want to take about a way, any sort of the political importance or anything about the message of we just strip that from the movie. You're right. It is an absolutely fine 6.5 out of 10 action, adventure movie. You can take your grandmother too. Yeah. That's what I like about it. I like a lot of people. I like the Kaminsky. It feels like a photography. I just feel like there's a thing that you could have done within that in which you could have maybe looked at a newspaper or maybe like pulled your head out of your, your ass. I'm going to say ass in terms of the subject, if you maybe say that you're one of the most educated creators in all of the subject of uvology and you are Steven Spielberg, you think you might have a different view on some stuff or you might have learned something about how the world works. But it's fine. He's just in his own crystal castle. He is in a giant property. He's in a giant crystal castle in which he doesn't have a compound. He doesn't grocery shop, he doesn't fucking go to concerts, he doesn't see humans. He probably gets, he probably just talks right to Robert Bigelow, who's telling him fake things. It's a whole thing. We'll get to it. We'll save this. Are you in too deep with aliens that you can no longer enjoy stuff? You know what it is is, that's not a slight, I'm just curious. I wonder. I actually have been trying to parse out why I'm having such an intense reaction. Because I really did. And a lot of people I feel like are talking like me where it's like, why can't I just like it's a Spielberg popcorn movie like what is wrong with me? And I think that the reason why it's because it speaks to he's writing a movie for a bunch of, he's writing movie for a world that doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. We're literally in disclosure right now. It's like, it's happening, but the footage sucks. Yes. And it's also, the problem is is that it's, it's, it's not a fantasy. It's not a fantasy. The United States government has already disclosed their stuff, guys. It happened. You think that's everything? No, it's not even about that. That's everything. Do you think they have footage of an actual? No. I think that they've had any of that they would have destroyed it a long time ago. Okay. I don't think any of that would ever see the light of day. I think the best part of the disclosure day movie was his filming of the old, the old like, slower parts. I thought that was the best stuff. - Watch that, I'm like, "Here's gonna love this." - That's a movie I wanna see is that stuff versus this, like if you wanna see the incident, you don't wanna see it. - You don't wanna see it. - The third kind is what you wanna watch. - Basically, I would just say to you, go watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It's the same fucking movie, but better. - I think they're re-releasing it this year. - Go see it because it is the same movie with the same message about the same stuff and it is done by somebody who actually lived a life amongst human beings. And Steven Spielberg has just lost touch, and you just think for somebody that probably has access to more information than any one of us ever has ever had. I imagine he has access to people he could talk to anybody, and I feel like he still served an extremely lukewarm co-fest that was not where we need the message to be right now. - And that's the problem. It's just like, it's just a movie made by a guy. And it doesn't know it. It seems like it's just made by a guy who has no idea what's happening to last 15 years. - He wanted to make a fun action movie. - He did, and he could have made it about anything. - And I feel like that's my problem is I feel like he could have just made an alien movie without making it this movie. - He's made five alien movies so far, and I put this in number four. So do with that with what you will. - What is number five? - Number five, Indiana Jones and Chris Skulls. - It's got all four. - Yeah, I agree. - And it should be shot out of a cannon. - Yeah, I agree. - It's 18 number one. - Yes. - I love ET with all of my heart. Closing counters, ET, I love minority report. - That's an alien movie. - I love War of the World except for the end. - Yes, War of the World. - Probably would have been number one of that end. If that kid, if that kid stayed dead. - Yep, I would have put it number one. I know, that's the whole thing. Also, the man who created fucking dinosaurs can't make a fucking remotely tangible alien. - I like the way it looked. - It's CGI. Of course it's CGI. What do you mean, of course it's CGI? - I'm actually an angry. - Yeah, I mean, of course it's CGI. He's legitimately like what the living fuck are we doing here? Like you're just, he lost that sauce a long time ago. - Yeah, I just like looked at that and I was like, this is fucking garbage. - All right, so all of this CGI is fucking garbage. - It's so funny, 'cause I looked at it. I saw the movie, I enjoyed it. I give it like a, but I also like, it's a B. - You know, for me. It's not an A by any means. You know, like, oh no, if you strip all of this context away from it, I'd call it a solid BB minus. - Yeah, see, what I like about the movie is, are you ready for this? It's so basic. This is how low my bar has gone. It's not a fucking sequel. It's an original idea. That's a summer movie. - And I fucking, and I'm giving my money to adjust for that reason. - I totally understand. I just wish our bar wasn't this low right now, for especially for our masters. - Yeah. - Especially for the OG masters and the fact that he-- - They're old. - They need to, they need to slowly start faking out. - And they are. - Because he's doing better work than he's done in years. He's doing fucking incredible work. - Not the Irishman. - I love the Irishman, except for the digital shot. - Yeah. - But it's like, what did you think about Martin Scorsese in Mando and Grogue? - I thought he was hilarious. Does he suck his own dick in that as well, or is it just Grogue? - No, he actually blows Grogue. - Whoa! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But he checks his ID. - He checks his ID. - I guess it's like, I'm a trucker. You want me to know why, honestly. (laughing) Let me just make sure the main thing is that, you know what honesty Eddie is at? My heart's been broken. And I find, you know what they say? The hardest, most hard and cynic was always the one that had his heart open the most. And I think it's because when I was a little boy and I thought it, when I was first engaging with the mystery of UFOs, and the idea of a government conspiracy, and the idea of a cover-up, and all that kind of stuff was filled with a wonder for me, and it was filled with this idea that life was more complicated than everybody was pitching it to me as it was, versus the priest's and shit. And I think that when I then watch this movie about what's really, like, I guess there's a part of me that's like, that's gone. - That's a much better movie if it came out 20 years ago. - Yes, when he wrote it, when he came up with the concept 30 years ago, I think that I am just one of those where I look at this, and I'm my heart breaks because that world doesn't exist, because the idea of everybody going like, "Oh my God, there's aliens!" When literally I just showed one of the preaminent drag queens in our country, literally the best footage that I have ever seen of a UFO. And we're all like, "All right, that's where we're at." The where we're at is we can't even get the United States, the people of the United States government to punish our President of the United States, who is a convicted rapist and a pedophile. And when we're at that level, I don't think that disclosure's fixing everything. - Let's just say the aliens aren't gonna, the complications brought about it, ain't gonna fix it, and if they're fucking biological in nature, they're gonna kill and eat us, and they're lying to you. They're lying. The aliens are lying to us. If they're real, they tell everybody something different. If you believe in the secret lore of the actual alien structure of the government, and you believe what they're like, let's just say you really believe in that conspiracy theory. If you actually look at it, the aliens are telling everybody they meet something different. So the aliens aren't lying. Or no one can understand them. - Yes. Have you seen this picture that's been going around with the fake thing which you're talking to the Nordics? - Yes, fake. - Yeah. - It's not an AI picture. - So even if the aliens are real, they're lying. We don't fit into their agenda. We have nothing to do with their agenda. If they have gotten here physically, it's 'cause they're either running from something or they're running to something because they've ran out of resources. This is what's happening, guys. That's the reality. We're not or we're a zoo. And then great. - Yeah. - What are we fucking do about that? Fucking nothing. - I think that's a problem. - Killed us by now. - No, 'cause we don't matter to them. We're ants. We're literally just whatever to them. - We kill ants all the time. - Yeah, but we also kill the ants right now. But we don't want to mean like they don't, but just because it's like that, we just don't figure into their plans. We're just on a part, we have bigger ideas than us. And they couldn't fucking care. Couldn't care fucking less. And then like that's why I get angry, Because we're learning nothing. nothing from the from a man we're learning nothing we don't understand that this is it's just this this whole thing I think the real secret the very real secret is what I've been saying all along is that they've got stuff and they've been trying to make stuff out of it and they have no idea what it is and they've been maybe contacted by if it's again if all of this is real every single layer of it they've been they've talked to somebody who's told them something different I think that they are paralyzed I think the FBI in this CIA and all these various fucking three letter institutions that are looking at all this shit are absolutely flabbergasted and don't know what to do and they don't know why it doesn't pay attention to us and they don't know how to make it pay attention to us and they don't know anything fucking about it so then they they now we are in a truly malicious administration that is using this and weaponizing it against just humans so like that's the problem what if we're their reality show I mean I think what if they're like filming us for a documentary kind of like how we make planet earth or like that incredible show the paper on NBC no yeah it's very possible and Jerry Corbell says he's seen everything and there is real disclosure coming from where from I don't know we're gonna talk to him eventually so he did say that recently and if you show somebody an alien they will not believe it if you show if you brought an alien could you imagine an alien walking on a bill mar that's what that that's what that movie is disclosure day to me is I wonder if the alien be able to handle himself on bill mar show with his political hot tics yeah we seem pretty sick yeah good the I had a great time Henry didn't use that information but I will take this opportunity to plug movie stories our new show that is on serious it's an X-series XM exclusive but it's also the video footage from that same show is available on our patreon so go check that out if you get a chance I think that's a good idea and also I want to say real quick I want to go see the death of Robin Hood last night at a sneak preview a 24 invited me and I went at a great time it's fucking brutal if you like a brutal ass fucking movie that's not the real story of Robin Hood it's like their own story of Robin Hood I see this fucking movie when it comes out it's fucking brutal lots of staps get it now yeah just no we don't receive any money for these things no no this is just me having a good time being like oh I sat next to the director yeah yeah during the movie it was the crazy he also directed pig which I fucking love and the whole time I was just like I was so nervous to react or not to react yeah yeah yeah yeah but then I left before the Q&A I don't want to talk to him but I know but I've never just been oh yeah we give him a couple of those this way you like you know fuck good about it yeah good the fact I like it great that's all I need I need him I need you I need 40,000 more fat men 100,000 more fat men so if you're fat you like to watch people get stabbed in the neck check out death or rob that is what I want to hear that's exactly what I like here we have a great guest joining us I can't wait to go through these stories this person like honestly I'm a huge fan of the of our guests they are genuinely into light funniest fuck evil as you want her to be put your ears on the headphones I think that's a yeah yeah you can clap at home if you want give it up for Alaska Thunderfuck 5,000 so before we get into our MMA update today I want to ask you kind of first of all before we even get into it what are your supplements like what are you on right now and kind of like what we click I'd love to know what your weight routine is I thought you were going to say what are your pronouns I literally got my mind autocomplete in that I'm on a straight man podcast okay we talk about supplements I saw a shirt this is really inappropriate I shouldn't say I'm going to say no there's a shirt that was like oh you like pro allows well let me she slash them titties yeah thank you and honestly I really appreciate being seen in that way we're done I'm gonna go okay that was horrible do you take it take it down take it down the pipe Eddie take it down the pipe yeah well we're joined here by Alaska Thunderfuck 5,000 you are an alien a drag queen alien from the planet glam tron disclosure thank you don't bring it up a Moriang but you got a new song out called revolution it's your first release in four years oh my god and it is the whole albums coming out soon and it's produced by the amazing ash Gordon friend of the show yes she uh ash did the the song at the end of the Halloween album yes they work with us ash Gordon and we work with uh Isaac Hanson and we created our song we are the band mass retraction but revolution is out now on all streaming platforms if you want to listen to it in this moment press pause go to wherever you listen to music listen to revolution enjoy it put it on your playlist for June and have a good time pause thank you done completed now we're back in yeah thank you very much so my supplements you are asking me yes um I work how reluctantly well we will have to yes I walk I hate every second of it but I do it and then I drink like plant based protein and then I have been drinking a little bit of like creatine with it it makes me feel bigger and stronger and wider yeah probably just placebo powder but I feel so fierce doing what was your reaction to the UFC fight did it meet your expectation so there was on the White House lawn this weekend I don't I didn't see it I know nothing about it what you missed it who was that um it believe it was it was um Vladimir Blancaston versus Dustin he men is I'm making up I'm I feel like that's the races that would be there yeah okay and I feel like they fought each other and then the man came out and yelled about Michelle Obama I saw that and that made me upset oh I heard about that like this is the equivalent of fucker right in the pussy remember that they'd be like what do you think about this issue fucker right my question is white fight why not hug why not kiss yeah thank you no I don't know what's going on with that the the movie idiocracy has become a documentary we were talking about that what president Kamacho has the moral code he literally listens to his advisors he stops using the gallery come on and grows in the film now here on the White House lawn we had a mechanical bowl um yeah that was the audience was fighting each other audience fought each other many many times and the uh the watch party for the UFC 250 or I get you had the American 250 Trump's birthday so on and so forth uh it was held on the exact same place where Trump held the rally that led to the insurrection on January 6th oh let's pull at it yes I've read someone uh one comment that I saw it was great like this event is going to be in the history books in a bad way yeah like this is it the word that they're going to show like this is the depths hopefully this is the furthest down we go but from a lot of the uh I guess reports that I read from it uh one guy said I haven't felt this good about politics in a decade because it's just so ineffectual it it so weird and did you see the ball legal on a chain he also gave away a gold coin with his face on it uh that's worth uh $12,000 oh my yeah but can we also ask you not money why are his actions like we're all in the house of rule right why are his actions like a drag queen in many ways in terms of the way he can really press out some merch and I think that girl she can and like where's your coin he's no he where's my coin yeah this is I feel like you guys can you mention that available now on Alaska Thunderfuck dot com I'm just but wait I am selling something oh yeah I'll take it yeah because I am a drag queen this is what we do this is the Alaska Thunderfuck blue fuzzy bucket house oh wow it's really cute that's honestly great wow this is the the equivalent of my trump gold coin yeah thank you this is my eagle on a chain I know yeah you could can you please bring an eagle to a chain on one of your life I've been trying for years he meant it like you know but we're in the house ruin all that one of my favorite Instagram guys right now is a dude who lip syncs trump speeches as a gay man and says that he was born to be a gay and he does all yet has all the you know but what do you think about that. Trump's so many times like, "This man is beautiful, he came out, oh my God, I was so, he was gorgeous. I can believe how, I just, I have to go now. Do you think that he channels that at all? He's just deeply disturbed. Like, I don't know what's going on with the gentleman. I just don't, but he smells really bad, I think. What's wrong with men? That's a great question. I think it's unfair to generalize about all men. Like, there's a lot of like, oh, men should die kind of narrative. And I actually don't believe that I think there are good men. They're just not that fucking loud because the bad ones are really, really loud. So like, there's a lot of good men, they're just like, shutting the fuck up and like, not being annoyed. Yeah, but it's a problem. But they feel like on some point, they got to go beat up the other big loud men. How do you make nice quiet men, big other nice quiet men into big loud men, but for good reasons? I don't want to. Oh, no, I don't know. We just need like a specific virus that like takes out the wrong one. You know what the wrong thing is? No, is that like, I shouldn't say that. No, it's what planet the apes is all about. It is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just love monkeys. And it's happy that all men died. It's just monkeys life. Well, it's part guys. That's their problem. They just turn into people. So speaking of turning people, I had a quick question before we go too far off of the, I look at our president. And I'm like, this has got to take a long time to get ready. Like with the makeup and the hair. What do you think? How long do you think it takes? What are they using? What do you notice? What's wrong? What's right? I like to have two hours to like get into drag. Yeah. And he probably, I mean, he, it looks shotally applied. Yeah, like you look incredibly applied. Thank you. It was in my contract that you had to say that. Yes. No, it's shot. It's approximately applied. And it's not good. The hair system is quite in depth though. So that, that probably takes the longest. Plugs, you think? Oh, he's unfinished ride. We know that now. On what? He's on like propitia. He's on like generalized propitia. So he's, he's definitely taking something for it. And I know that they do pattern it. But I do know that it is losing its strength. Does it? Yeah, there's got to be some fakeness in there because yeah, it doesn't seem like he would have a lot going on. It's all pushed around and it's meshes into a sort of a big pile on top. Yeah. And I've seen it in person once. I did a bit for David Letterman once and he was there. And I watched him walk into a room and he does smell like a garbage dump. And he is about, he is probably five foot 11. And he goes through. He, I'm going through green room snacks. I wasn't allowed to be in the room. I was put where the, the, the, the, all the garbage cans were real. I was putting a hallway with a bunch of garbage cans so he could be alone in the room. And then I walked over and then they shoot me out, even when I wasn't like alone in the room because they said this is room for Mr. Trump. And Mr. Trump went in there and all he did was stick his hands in all the food, like literally like pod around all the food with his hands. And they just left. Oh, yeah. That's our president. That's why I voted him for Ford Ford Ford. That's hard. Through my parents, through me. I have a little Mexican man that I threatened. There's so many ways to vote. Is there a dry queen that is a nightmare in the green room like that just touches all the stuff? Well, it's that word. I think it's time for us to get some important news. All right. Now we were heard so you're an alien and we know that it's a part of the you're sick. Well, but we know that, right? We know. But you also are interested in subject. Yeah. Currently, we are in what you'd call the peak days of disclosure. It has already happened. Uh, we have already the US government has already unleashed every single thing that they already have. And guess what it is, Alaska? You said it right before we started recording a dot. It's lots of dots moving dots, lots of moving dots. Um, and it's lots of orbs. We love orbs here. Could be eye floaters. I get swimmies. Oh, yeah, all the time. Yeah, I don't know where that started. I think it's just, I think it's fun to follow. It's wisdom. But I'd love to show you one or just like, I want to get your take on this is actual new footage. This came out several days ago. Uh, this was released as a part of the third gigantic release, which is part of why I don't get angry about this new UFO stuff is because it's all leading towards uh, fighting against undocumented human beings. Like, so they're being a really, they're doing a really cute thing where they're tying humans and aliens together. Um, but I'll say the guys that worked on my front yard, they don't have anything like this. So like, let's look at this. So this is a video that was seen. Like now we don't know what this is. They believe that this was filmed somewhere around the time. Remember when we were dealing with all the, uh, the Chinese balloons in 2023. Yeah, the ones going to Alaska. Yes. So hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. So this thing is just like, there are a lot of people saying, like, Oh, that this is not a balloon. It looks like a balloon, but they just exploded it, right? So whatever it was, they blew it up. And then including other weird little orbs flying around. Now, this was not a part of the thing. I guess this may or may not be the thing we shot over Lake Huron. That is kind of what they're saying right now that this might be the object that we shot. And then we couldn't find the debris of. Okay. Yeah. Because it exploded into a bunch of million different pieces. Can I ask a stupid question? What's all the redacted stuff? Like, what is that? Like, I think it's like, there is a couple open penises. I mean, it's a line of first, first lady vaginas. They have those just so that you know, you can see it's a new seal. Yeah. Because Ellen Roosevelt squatted on a bunch of stuff. Like, do you? Like, where is your sense of wonder at right now, Alaska? In the toilet. That that's a party balloon. What is that? I don't know. And seriously, we're not fucking with you. Just close something good. There's got to be something good. That's like, I'm not. Remember alien autopsy. That's close. I want to see the show presidential autopsy. But this one. Okay. So this one's better. Okay. This is my problem. Alaska. This is the exact problem is the fact that we don't know what we're doing with. And they do look like several of the things. Obviously, in my mind, yeah, of course, it's a fucking balloon. Yeah. But they're telling us it's not, but the way it blew up, there was like chunks of stuff. Yes. You know, balloons don't have chunks of stuff. So the government is telling us straight up. That's something we don't know what it is. Yeah. What does that mean? The government has never lied. So I believe, I believe that completely. I've always felt very at home with the government. Yeah. Well, technically, you'd have to. Yes. I'm forced here. I can't not. So this one, to be honest, is one of the more interesting ones I've ever seen, just because it's the first time I'm actually you're actually going to see the movement of a UFO that they talk about in these reports. Okay. So this is an object that was filming. It's like right above the ocean. We know that it's solid because it can get a lock on it. And then it goes up, it ramps up and then boom. So that's what's weird. This is a thing. This is an example of UFO flight that I have not seen on one of these videos, which they actually show the, in an instant, it disappears like it. Notice the, it's just like taking from a fighter jet. I'm thinking, yes, it was being tracked out on the middle of the ocean because people see stuff out there all the time, apparently. Can you, okay. Can you play it again? And can you put, hold on, wait for it? Can you put the Sonic the Hedgehog music? It's like a really fun arcade game is what it looks like. Yeah, no, that's fierce. Right. It is interesting. Yeah. How would you, like hardcore disclosure, like, how do you think it would affect you? Like, like, genuinely, do you think that you, it would change the way you view the world? Do you think you'd just keep doing what you were doing? No, yeah, I think we would just keep doing what we were doing. And I think that they are just like, oh, girl, we don't need to get near all that. You know, like, sort of when, like, like, we are a mess. And they, are like, just, you know, all right, bless them, you know, bless their hearts. Do you think that there's any one scene that could bring them all together? Licking idea of, like, getting out there, like, what's a good downtown city for the aliens to all meet together? And like, what's got a good scene out there? What's got a fun nightlife? - What was the one in Independence Day where the people were like partying on the top of the roof without a team? - I knew that man. - Yeah, that was the capital records builder. - Yeah. - Yeah, I would like to go there and I would be part of that party. I think that would be fun. - Yes. - Yeah. - And I don't think they're going to just blow us up. I think they're like, they want us to get better. They're praying for us. - I mean, in prayers work. Are you scared of it? So you're not scared of aliens? - No. - Either am I. Henry's definitely afraid of him. I personally believe if they are biological in nature, we should not be saying hello to them. - Really? - I think that if I partially believe that the phenomena is half psychic and that largely we're looking at an interdimensional thing. We're looking at something that we can't entirely collect evidence on because it's not entirely a part of our reality. - Have you heard that they're us from the future? Have you heard that one? - That's my favorite one. - Have you heard that Bigfoot is actually a time traveler from the future? And the Bigfoot suit is the time travel suit? - Ah. - Is that your big foot? - Yeah. - I like the idea too. What if Bigfoot's Ghost of a Caveman? - Why would he be all hairy? Why would he be all tall? - What if he's just a Ghost of a Caveman? - No, it's like, there's stuff like that, but then I do believe. It's not going to change my day to day, but it would be nice to write on my taxes like fuck you aliens, right? - How would you write that on your page? - Big letters. - Big paperworms, giant fill out all the print out all the paperwork, writing fuck you aliens, fuck you. - Yeah, I love that. - I want to go to them. I'm going to go straight to the source. I'm sick of the middleman. - If it moved, okay, I'm still on this video. If it moves at the speed of light, then it would just go, it would just disappear because our vision is based on light. - Yeah. - So like, that just like sped up a little bit. - So it's probably just sound. - Would they believe it moves at the speed of gravity? And so the part of what they, if you believe the UFOs are a real machine, part of what they, what they, way they think they could work is they create what's called in front of them a gravity well, which is essentially an absence of gravity in which then gravity, then they're pulled forward by this absence of gravity in front of them. So what they do is create this sort of, so they're moving at a, they're not like, that's why it allows them to like not be fucked by inertia on the inside is where they're splattered against the wall. - Yes, they being pulled instead of pushed like a Futurama. - It is. The Futurama ship. They're like, we actually don't go fast. We just move the whole universe around us that we stay still. - You just literally just watched that episode a few days ago. - Yeah. - And the smell is scope. Can we get that? Is that real? - It's not, unfortunately, no, it's not real. - No, we wouldn't like that. I don't think we'd like a lot of the smells of the past. - I think we'd be pretty unhappy with that smell of Pluto smells like. - I am curious. - Yeah, I don't know. Well, it smells like probably like blood. - Yeah. - It's all made out of metal. - Like what Dodge City smells like. - Yeah. - I love it. - We got some other stories. We're gonna move on. - Because I do want you to also, I want your take on this. - Okay. - Guy Fieri. First of all, this is just, oh, just your first of all. Like, I say the words Guy Fieri to you, what's your first response? - Drag. - Yes. Great. - Yeah, perfect. - I always think that the sunglasses on the back of his head, so people get confused when they try to punch him in the face. (laughing) - Why do you put Guy Fieri like specifically in the drag category? - He's just got that look and there's queens who do him. - Really? - And it's very effective. I think he's been done on Snatch Game. If he hasn't, he should be immediately. - Yeah, you've been done on Snatch Game? He should have been done on Snatch Game. - Yeah. - He's an instantly recognizable look. And this is so necessary for television. - Yeah. - So I fucks with him. - Do you also believe like the idea of, you know, I follow the works of Alistair Crowley and Tom Lavey, all these types of people creating a silhouette and an image and how much that's more, makes you almost more powerful than just yourself as a human. - Yeah, like a cartoon character. - Yeah, and then it sends you, is that a thing that you purposely think about when you put together your character? Or does it just kind of naturally come about that way? - It has to come about, not naturally and organically, but then once it does, then you can like be like, "Okay, this is what I look like." - Yeah, 'cause you change. Obviously, I've followed your career. - Yeah. - And you really can, you've concreted yourself into this incredible form. - I know. I'm known for wearing long blonde hair with a big blonde thing on top. And here I am in dark brown hair that doesn't have a thing on top. - You contain multitudes. - My image has been dismantled before your very eyes. - Shut up! - No! - Get the fuck out. - No one can recognize me. - All right, well now this guy, right? - So Guy Fieri, he's got a show, Diner's Drive-Ins and Diner's. - Yeah, I'll see you in a million times. But the new theory going around the internet is, he ain't ain't, it's true. - It's true? - Yeah, so there's lots, and then it seems silly. - But if the more you watch the show, and the more you see clips of the show, you start to see he's not swallowing the food. And he might not even be biting the food. - But he's not like he's thin. - No. - You would expect if he wasn't eating the food, he'd be thin. - Does he chew? - Sometimes. - Sometimes. - We have some clips. - Now, yeah, yeah, if we have some clips, can we show the clips? - It is kind of wild to think that like, I think that he might eat, I, he might eat something like giant eggs, like those carrots from Super Mario 2. It's more like giant, like-- - Oh, gross. - Swallows. - Big bur-- yeah. - It just swallows one egg a week like a snake. - Yeah. - Is your tie his hair gray? - Look at this picture. You can spot who he is, and you can't even see his whole hair. - No, you're right. - You're right. - It's just forehead and hair. It's like no one else but Guy Fieri. - Yeah, but there's a new, as a YouTuber, Doc Spaghetti, he is on the case. He's been watching every episode of Diner's Drive-Ins and Dives and pointing out the exact moments. - He doesn't need to be a lawyer. - He doesn't care what his father says. He watches Guy Fieri. - All right. - Okay, he bit. - And he just-- - It's swallow. - Watch. - Well, he's by, he's enjoying it. - He's chewing. - He's chewing. - We don't know if there's anything in there. - Cut. - Cut. - All right, now watch the bite again. He doesn't actually bite. Now, that's this. - What? - Yeah, watch this. It's all stayed. - He didn't bite anything. - He was already bit. - It was already fucking bit. - It was already bit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He fucking didn't fucking fan the bite. It's a mind bite. - Yeah. There's nothing going on. He rubbed his face against the sandwich. He didn't put anything in his mouth. - He's eating it. He's eating it's pussy. - All right. - And I-- - Actually, Alaska, you were actually uniquely qualified to comment on this because you've been on a lot of reality TV. You were, you know, two seasons of drag race. - Mm-hmm. - And you know, a lot of things have to be reshot. You know, moments have to be recreated. Do you think that they're just recreating a moment for like a better angle? - This is-- I do know about this because that's like lip syncing, but it's lip syncing eating. - Yes, it is lip syncing eating. This is very golden girl. She used to always blanch her, always do this. Because you can't sit there and eat the thing because you have to start a line. So she'd be like, "Oh, hello, girl." (laughing) So it's lip syncing eating. - Yeah. - And that's what she's doing. But, man, she never swallows. - I mean, look at this. So they also showed this thing too, where he puts the-- he does this move, where he fakes it, where he starts with it up by, he takes it up from the top, right? He sees, he's taking it with the chopsticks. And then it cuts to him just-- - There's nothing in the chopsticks. - There's nothing in the chopsticks. - He did, but if you're fat, you're fat, fuck royalty, right? You're a Joey Chess nut. You're fat, fuck royalty. - He is everything. - As we know he does. But I'm just saying, if you're fat, fuck royalty, to me, you need to be eating. Like, jelly roll is a race trader to his fat, fuck world. - That's why it's getting divorced. - Exactly. I think the odds I think he lost the weight and that's, and she fell out of love with him. - Yeah, that's exactly what happened. - Yes. - She's like, I'm not living for those. - I don't want him, his name is jelly roll, not Mr. Sticks. Okay, your job is to be a fat, fuck. And so is Guy Fieri's job. Is it to be a fat, fuck? - Yeah. - How are you gonna sell donkey sauce? Knowing that we know you don't eat. Would you believe a word Guy Fieri said if he found out he owned an elliptical? - I think it's like in adult films. This is like-- - You're saying they don't eat? - No. You know how they're like, I don't-- This is like a gay thing. Like, I'm not gonna bottom. Like, I'm not. I'm just a top. And so then when they find out do bottom. It's like a big event. And so this is like that. So like when he actually does eat, it's going to be a, it's going to be a major news day. Oh my God. You should saving it. We should do it on a, he should do a live stream for charity. Yes. I, Guy Fieri, am actually going to eat today on the White House lawn. Every time he eats, we, we pay enough money to get one immigration lawyer to release one person from being held in an iced attainment center here. And I think it's a really good way to aim that. Let's do it. All right. Wait, if nobody wants to bottom, then who's bottoming the whole time? Well, there are plenty of us. Okay. There's plenty. There is no, no, this is the thing. There's a top shortage. What is that? I love that you're asking this because in the gay community is, is well known that everyone is the bottom of all time. Like, and the, and the bottoms have a really hard time finding tops. And so they find one. And it's like, you know, we struck gold. And then you then, is he then given to the community, to the bottom community? Yes. He does his service. And then he realizes that he's the bottom. And then it was a circle of gay life. I'm glad I could share it with you. Being more relaxing to be a bottom. Is it just more just like easy going and just like one of those where your life just funner that way and just more, you know, like, they love that. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard. It's just getting up. It's so amazing. I started several very long madness. All right. Here we go. Here we go. So this is actually a really good way, the good with thing to end on. Actually, yeah, because this guy would be a great top. But he's dead. I don't know if he would dead tops. So this guy is lucky dead human being old British man from the 78 year old, 78 years young instead. He donated his body to science because they found out he had three penises. And he had three penis yet on top. He ate a main and an outside penis. Yeah. Outside penises. But in his balls, we're two more penis with tiny penis. It's just hiding. It's just hiding. So we have no idea if he knew that he had three penises or if he lived his entire 70 year old life, we're never knowing that he had three penises. Well, they said they would have found out if they ever had to give him a catheter, because one of the because the one of the penises, the P whole, the P was connected went through one penis and then into the outside penis is then out the front door. I remember they called his urethra torturous. Yeah. This is hard. Tress urethra. So outside penis, three inches, uh, three inches long. This is going to see really one. And she did this to him too. And they did measure all the penises. Yeah. Second penis, 1.49 inches long. And the third penis is 1.45 inches long. So you put them together. It's nice cop. Yeah. Altogether. That's one penis. It's the hardest off measurement. It's going to be soft because he's dead. Well, Vigor Mardis. Hey, I would call it as I could pull it as long as I could pull it. Yeah. Measure from the tank. When Tom did and you're measuring my dead penis, please pull it. Nobody measures. I measure mine from the bottom of my pocket. That's what I do. I do a whole thing. It's a whole presentation. It's a whole thing. I put together stats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is, but like, what's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? That's no. I'm not for this. Yep. That's one of the weirdest things you've ever seen. Why not? I'm trying to think. I've ever been to a place called Epstein Island. Actually, I haven't been on it, but I was really near it recently. Do you go on like the sister island? The one that's like, like the neighbor island? St. Thomas. St. Thomas. Yeah. My mom was like, my friend has a place in St. Thomas. So I'm going. Do you want to go? I was like, yeah. So I went with my mom and literally out the back like patio. There it was. Actual Epstein-ass island was like right there. You could have robed into it. Yes. Jetski is what they use. Right. They've like revamped it. They've tried to make, they took like the gold thing, like the blue and white thing. They've like painted it just just like beige and they took the gold like satanic pyramid off. And so they're like maybe no one will know is the. There is like, it was really scary. The project of you, Jetskiing to Epstein Island from St. Thomas's island. I have to push the I have to pitch this into a group of producers. We have got to do an island adventure. We've got to go. All right. Be the first drag queen to ever go to Epstein Island. No. And I won't eat. I won't. But that's a problem now. Man walking around with three penises. They can't tell anybody and he does it. No. And you know, he's just some fucking weird man. You know, he's just some gross weird old British man who's like, oh, topsy and totally. It was kind enough to donate his body to science, knowing that he had three cocks. I mean, that's like three dicks. He didn't even know though. He probably literally never. I wouldn't know if I had three dicks in my balls. Yeah. In my balls. Just his balls hurt his whole life. Apparently he had lots of, he had a hernia too. And it was his third dick getting hard. That's what it is. It's this little tiny dick responding to everything on the inside. It's probably the one making all the bad decisions. Right. Indoor dick, outdoor dick. If I had an indoor dick, that he would be because my outdoor dick is already filled with horrific thoughts and it's a horrible energy. And the little penis behind him. Can you imagine the Stephen Miller? Oh, penis is like the evil and the dick chain of your main penis is in your other balls. Yeah, give it advance. All right. So I asked this question. We were talking about this on the last episode of side stories. I need your opinion as a fashion icon. Okay. Handle bar mustache. Where do you look? Where do you lie? Love it. You love it. Here's really very very like a very like pride like 70s kind of this lady was telling us a story because we because of what I said, I appreciate men that have a handle bar mustache is because I've also had difficult man facial hair before. And I find it takes to from my perspective, it's a guy that has put a handle bar mustache in order to sort of like be like, Hey, hit me. Hey, someone come punch me. You know me like, oh, someone come, everybody gather around. Does anybody want to hit me? And I now realize like, that's not true. Cause I got a lot of messages from women that have said that specifically the handle bar mustache makes them feel safe. And then also one woman was saying that she was riding a man with a handle bar mustache. And she said that it was the only time she's ever been asked to grab the bars of the mustache and pull them while she was fucking them. Which I've never done that. I can honestly say I've never done that. Right. No. See, okay. See, I never thought of I never thought of it that way. Is that why it's called a handle bar? I guess so. I don't think it's supposed to be. I don't think your lip is that strong. But does the handle bar mustache have different connotations in the gay and straight communities? Absolutely. So the, yeah, cause like a straight guy with a handle bar mustache. That's like a whole different story. Definitely gay is like, yeah, like I'm vintage. It's like very cute. He's fun. Yeah, you were talking about IPA salesman. It's different type of leatherwork. Yeah. I'm talking about a guy. And a lot of like, what do you know they've got those, the, the, the, the light bulbs with just sort of the copper wiring on them. Uh-huh. Yeah, Edison. A gas, a gas stroke hub. Yeah, it's very scary. Yeah. A top of the handle bar use, uh, mustache useless. Totally useless. What do you do? I don't know. She said the main problem was she said that where she started to kind of like get out of it was like the snap of it. She said that when she took it in the, the, like the snap of the, the product in his little tips that kind of bumped her out of the whole experience. Oh, I wonder if it gets really cold if it could snap off. Yeah, it can. Wow. That's how you get done out of hair. Oh, cold. Yeah, you freeze it. No shit. Really? Or you, you freeze it and then you beat it with a hammer. Or you put peanut butter on it. Do you think it has since this episode? Don't, don't try getting it out with a bone. It only gets well. Yeah. Are they going to 22 short films about Springfield? Is it so a handle bar that's a handle bar mustache. Yeah, I was thinking of this. Of the food, man, shoe. I was thinking of a totally different thing. Yeah, you're thinking of a more max. Yeah, I was. Man, shoe is awesome and fierce. See, I was thinking of the wrong thing. See, I was saying to replace the handlebar with the fuman chew. If you had to put wax and no, I don't, I don't care. No, I don't want the horseshoe. The horseshoe? That's just people wanting. I understand fuman chew. Does it is not societally correct anymore? Fuman chew. Thank you. It's like attached, but like a handlebar has the like doopsy doopsy doopsy doopsy. And I had that. I did the these mustaches connected to the sideburns for a while. But I was trying to be unfuckable. Yeah, that was the thing. I was trying to, I didn't want the attention to women at the time because I thought the imperial, I had the imperial and I thought that was really cool for a while and I didn't care what happened. But you know what's funny, that's how I end up with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, that's you. I was your Confederate reanactor face. It's just because I'm a queen's boy and I just want to feel what it's like to be a rebel. Never got to be. Well, it was this was wonderful, thank you so much Alaska for coming. Oh, make sure you talk the song. Listen to Revolution by Alaska ThunderFuck 5000. It's unbelievable. It's on Spotify, Apple Music. Add it to all your summer playlist. It's fucking awesome. It's all about servant Kant and starting to get to Revolution. Here's something we need to do. Yes, we do. Are you getting any shows coming up? It has like a hundred because it's June and in June it is Christmas and I am Santa Claus. No, I'm going everywhere. That's October for us. Yes, that's our October time. So what is your, like is there a good place for people to see like where all your dates are? My website, Alaska ThunderFuck.com where you can also get this, this exciting hat. He's by the hat. I'm going to get that hat as a podhead. I have to ask what happened to Alaska ThunderFuck the marijuana? It's gone. It's still out there. You didn't find it. Okay, good. Sometimes people gift it to me and then my fiance smokes it's great. Okay, it does exist. All right, because we were in Alaska recently at a weed store and I was screaming about it. And then they were like it doesn't make it anymore. No one makes it anymore. Damn, it does exist. And they make vapes of it too. They've seen this. Well, thank you so much for coming by. Seriously though. That's a lie. Yeah, seriously, thank you. This is fucking awesome. Thank you. Happy Pride, y'all. Live from Norway. God, it feels good to like know somebody who knows something else about something else than what we know about. I feel slightly cooler now. I admit, I do feel cooler now. And I did this morning. I'm trying to figure out how to be more approachable to the alt scenes. Yeah. Do you think today worked? No. It was nice to have a Marcus in here. Honestly, it was really nice. And I mean, I'm a special guest as far as I'm concerned. A Marcus is a huge fan of Alaska. And it was just great. I'm glad that they're super quick with it. I love like all, you know, I love it. Because you know what I feel like in drag, that's like the last fashion of like the triple threat. Yeah. You know, like old school real showbiz. Like, look at Jinx Monsoon. Jinx Monsoon's winning like Tony's and shit like Jinx Monsoon's. It's crazy. Garland right now. I went and saw Oh, Mary with Jinx. It was fucking incredible. I know, it's like, that's amazing. It's like one of those things. I love seeing like that. It was like, you gotta do a lot of shit. It's mainstream now. It's very cool. Yeah, I love it. It's very awesome. It's full on mainstream now. And I fucking love it. And I'm all about it. And please keep dressing up and doing crazy shit. You know, keep it going forever. We have to. Because it's a part of the human need to express themselves. And I just think that it is just beautiful. And I'll, and I'll want to remind everybody. There is not a single drag queen on the Epstein list. Not even one. Not even one. Not even one. No, it's just a bunch of guys. The lot of money makes you a pedophile. Yeah. That's interesting. I don't know why that is. Well, guess what, folks? We're on the road. Yeah, we got London Ontario coming up. Fucking sold out. To the outside. To be there and see you and go to the patreon.com/flashblast by Guess the Left. And you can listen to all the episodes at free. You can also see last stream on the left. Live every Tuesday, 5 p.m. PST. Can you also check out our new brighter side YouTube channel? The brighter side LPN. That's youtube.com/at the brighter side LPN. And go to LPN TV to watch our the conclusion and the entire series of HDX2. HDX2. Who will live? Who will die? Who will live in nothing forever? Is LD cool? Are they bad? We don't know. We don't know. Also, we have, um, uh, Nerd a mouth has a new YouTube channel. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, Nerd a mouth podcast. So it's youtube.com/at Nerd a mouth podcast. If we are testing the limits of the YouTube camera, will it be able to handle the time. Lauren's the three of us. And hold McNeely's vision of them. That's the thing. That's what you nerds are going to have to sit with. Man, I'm so like, honestly, it's like you're going to watch that show. And you're like, Ed and Henry are like attracted. [laughter] Fuck man. But that's why, man, we get you used to it. We'll come on in. The water is fine. Going healthy on the left for all your Instagram needs. And go to, uh, yeah, go to last podcast. Love.com by tickets to see us left. Yeah, man, Editunes.com to see me do stand up. Go check up my Instagram. Of course, I'm Editunes on Instagram to see where I'm coming. I just put a brand new tour poster up. So check that out. See if I'm coming to a city near you. And go in a comment. Tell me where I should go after this. Seems like Nashville and Baltimore. Very hungry for it. Oh, but yeah, well, I can't wait. I'm having a great time on the road. And then Henry's actually going to be joining me for my two L.A. shows that are on there. So come check us out. It's going to be a fucking blast. Yeah, we're having a good time. All right, see you, fuckers. Yeah, he'll say it. Hell, uh, you know what? Hell, Alaska. Thunder, fuck, 5,000. What a goddamn delight. What a delight. I feel great.