Side Stories: Bad Teacher

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Let me know when we're going. We're going. I feel vulnerable today. You look vulnerable. I'm tired. Your hat's all fucked up. Thank you. I did this. This is a structural issue. Oh. The hat issue is a structural issue that I'm dealing with. Right now it's because for a while I was kind of felt, I'm going to say hogtied, maybe just because of the way I look, but I felt hogtied by the fact that, you know, everyone was like, there was like a flat brim conspiracy happening with hats. Yeah. I don't mind the flat brim, but I need the other option. This is the thing. I've just taken it back and say, you know what? I'm not doing flat brims anymore. I'm not a Funko Pop collector. Whoa. You're going to attach the flat brim to the Funko Pop collector. I'm not a steampunk rapper. I have one Funko Pop. Yeah? I have one Funko. It's a Willie Nelson and it was a gift. That's cute, but that's fine. It's a gift. You didn't buy it. You didn't wait online to buy it. You know what pissed me off about this fucking Funko Pop? It doesn't stand on its own. What do you mean? It just like falls, it's top heavy. And so it just falls over anytime like a door shuts. Like Willie Nelson. Like Willie Nelson. But you know what I did? It's what they did to Willie Nelson. Glued his fucking feet to the ground. And that's what you got to do to men of a certain age. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, not glued, completely free. No, completely free. I'm a man of my own volition. He gets out there and me, I'm Henry Zebrowski. I am still reeling from seeing Paranormal Activity on Broadway. Dude, it was awesome. It was so good. I'm so like, all right, I went the full spectrum. We both did the same. That's the thing, Eddie. It's so funny. I show up to town. They're like Paranormal Activity at the August Wilson Theater. I'm like, oh, the historically black theater. One of the most important locations in theater history. And as that was happening, because same thing. I was like, what an abomination. Yeah, I was so mad. I can't fucking believe they do something like that. And then I saw another ad for it. I was like, un-fucking-believable. How silly is this shit? And then I yelled at someone in the street about it. They were like, I hear it's good. Literally. I was like, Paranormal Activity on Broadway. And someone's like, my cousin saw it. It's fabulous. Everywhere you go. And then I was just like, all right. And so then I went into it. I was like, well, I'm going to look at the reviews and see the scathing reviews that are going to show that I'm correct in my, oh, they're saying it's spooky and compelling. Oh, they're saying that it's a delight to behold and a wonderful night out with family and friends for the spooky time of year. I was like, do I need to go see Paranormal Activity? on Broadway? And then I sent Natalie a text in the middle of the night. I was like, should I go see Paranormal Activity on Broadway? And she was like, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Then you asked me and I asked Julie and Julie had the same reaction. And I was like, what? Am I taking crazy pills? No, no, no, no. They were. But the girls were right. They went. We went. We went and sat second row. Yeah, it was me and Julie, second row on Broadway, having a blast. Just like literally wonderful time. Screaming, screaming, laughing, going like, and you know what it is? And I'm going to say this here into a microphone. It is absolutely Broadway's plan to try to bring black people and Latino people to Broadway. I was like, it is absolutely the plan. We were in the movie theater. They were like, stop, don't go in there. And obviously it's bad for theater or whatever, but I don't care. I laughed my fucking ass off. I made me laugh my ass off. I thought it was really fun. I had to tell the guy next to me to be quiet at one point. And then I felt bad about it. Cause he, I feel like he was right. He could be, it'd be like, she got the demon. She got the demon in her. This is my favorite shit. I love it. It was surprisingly amazing. It feels like a new art form. It was really fun. It was a, it was a fun. I've never seen a scary play before. We're not obviously being paid. No, no one fucking knows. They have no idea that we're talking about them. They probably are upset that we're talking about them. I'm just saying it's a very interesting show, but we had so much fun, man. I want to see what this creates. I want to see the next scary play now. I want to see hereditary on Broadway. Honestly, I feel like it would work. Midsommar would work too. Yeah, it would. Yeah, it would. You should produce it. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good idea. Broadway is such a thriving business. The only way we're going to make it at this point is you're going to need like an, it's like, what is a woman? The musical, you know what I mean? That's the other side. They're going to start going after the MAGA crowd or whatever. Shout out to Joyelle Johnson and John Trowbridge for joining us live in Brooklyn. Rob, you did great. Rob joined us live on stage in Brooklyn. Marcus popped up for his first side story show. It was pretty great. It was the first time he's ever seen us live, which is hilarious. There are fans that have seen it like four times. Yeah, he's never, he has no idea. I didn't know that's what you guys did. He's like, yeah, it's fun. You do? Yeah, we do. We really do have a lot of fun. And, that was truly, you got to check out the show because we have been adding guests, fun new things. John Trowbridge came as Baron Trump on stilts. It was the funniest. It made me so happy. His bit's so fucking funny. And one more piece of little business before we get into stories today. The second printing of Fright Jansen's revolting repository of gasling sounds parts one and two is officially back on sale this Friday for our second printing of our Halloween sound effects album. Go over to newberrycomics.com to go buy it this Friday. I believe it starts at like midnight. I don't know. And so that shit's going to sell out immediately, but it's a candy corn looking vinyl. It's cool. And then we're going to have limited edition LPN variants that are going to be sold at two Los Angeles locations starting this Saturday. One is at the Mystic Museum in Burbank where Ed and I are going to be at 1030. This is all just, just hatched. 1030 AM. 1030 in the morning. We got 20 records left, the LPN variant. So it's got its own special thing, its own special vinyl style to it. And then we are going to be, and then it's also going to be at Permanent Records. So go check them out. Go get it. We are live, baby. It is spooky season. Yeah. If you're on vacay in LA, come and get that goddamn album. It's going to be a lot of fun. Come get that shit. Get that fucking shit. Also tonight, I'm going to be at the Stray Theater with Amber Nelson, but that's a, you know, if anyone cares. But if you're in town, I'm going to come see that show. Oh, that's going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to see, come see your ass. Slambers, Comedy Bash, Keith Carey, Mean Boys fame, and Leah Bonamont. So we got some updates. Krista Pike lived. She's like, fine. So Krista Pike woke up and was like, that was nuts. Whoa, what the living fuck y'all. Where I went was hot. I'm itchy. I don't like this. So Krista Pike, for those of you that don't know, we covered it last night. We went through, they, they gave her two taps of lethal injection. She was in jail for torturing and murdering a woman to death with a partner. She was on death row for many, many years. We also know that she attacked a bunch of people in jail. We know she tried to escape. Krista Pike is really intense, but that lady's flat ass veins saved her life because she had a collapsed vein. They stuck the lethal injection inside of her. She, she felt hot. She felt like her arm was going to explode. She lived. And so, but everybody thought they double shot her, the double shot her. And they legitimately thought, well, there's no way they, there was going to be no brain activity. Yeah. But apparently she's up and walking and the terms they use, which I thought was, was kind of hilarious where she's irritated and confused. And it's like, yeah, you can't kill me. You fucking piece of shit. You can fucking kill me. I don't die. I make things die. I'm proud of her. She toddled right out of that. She fucking took two government shots to the head. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And she is alive and thriving. So you can't kill it. Can't kill her. Teflon. I've been talking to a lot of people about this cause it's very interesting, but it is crazy how many times people are like, let her out. Oh, it's cause they're like, let her out. She survived. It's like, well, now she's good. Just hold on on that. Just hold on that. I honestly think that, um, if I'm going to, if I was Crystal Pike, I'd be extra mad. So if I got let out, I'd do a bunch of crimes. And it's for fucking certain. If I was just let out after all that, I'd be like, oh, we're now really doing this. I'm fucking free. You're trying to kill me fucking twice. Now I know you can't kill me. Uh, and this also kind of brings up the, we'll talk very vaguely about the Peter Hegseth talking about killing the, the essentially doing a public execution of the Fort Hood shooter. Imagine if something like this happened. Um, and it will, and I'm just going to put it out there. My read on this situation is that it's not going to happen. It's that no streamer is going to do it and that they could even try to build their own pipes in order to put it out on some government website. Because Peter Hegseth just said that he just said, they're going to live stream the execution. We have no idea how that is going to happen. We don't know if people are willing to see. And if I was you, I would go check out and I don't like social media, but if I was you, I would go check out and I would go check out I would go read Damien Echols' response. to this story oh interesting because damien eccles talks about what it's like to be on death row go through this whole process watch people get murdered in front of him in jail like he watched two people get stabbed to death in jail in front of him and he also saw a man that he got to know know a murderer that wept audibly every night about what he did and so he said he saw both he saw it's extremely complex this whole scenario is extremely complex but the idea that you think that you can just put somebody dying on the internet like it is already on there right i watch police body cam footage that has i was saying still you can still find it yeah and the riff tracks on that is great yeah and then i love those guys but i love those guys but the other the uh body cam footage like i've seen people get shot on body cam footage uh and uh accidentally yeah and i don't like it y'all uh i think that it is going to hurt the soul of america and what damien eccles is basically saying is that if you've never seen somebody die and then that's the way you see somebody die it is going to wreck your entire life it's like a stain on your very soul uh and so i just say even if they do it i would avoid it yes no it's not good to watch someone die i wonder if something like this will be so awful that it will help lead to abolishing the death penalty altogether i um i don't know if we're in the learning lessons part of the time period yeah i guess if we're not uh if we're not doing it after krista pike i think that if we're still just rolling with it because people have been killed since that since that people have gotten a hot shot since krista pike lived oh yeah yep yep yep yep it's it is uh so we are yeah we're not in that so i would just say go see what damien eccles has to say about this very subject it is fascinating it's extremely complex it is a lot of fun little moral holes yeah and uh we're against the death penalty but maybe because we're a bunch of snowflake cucks that uh suck our own dicks for a living i also am in the camp that it is way harder to live in prison for the rest of your life than die early i we all you and i both agree yeah no one else you should check out um the wrongfully accused podcast i learned a lot about from that podcast it's one of the few podcasts i've checked out from time to time and uh the one thing i learned is that one out of 20 people on death row are presumed innocent yes it is so that alone and the ford hood guy i don't fucking care about this shooter i don't care fuck that fucker i fuck him it's not about him it's really just this idea that it's this whole vibe it's this whole macho vibe that we are just fucking stuck in and we can't get out of we just have to like public executions are for dictators and fucking third world countries and people that have horrible governments and like it's terrifying all of this news that have been coming out all feels like it is connected and i don't know how to put that all together yet between like the cornell stuff and the and this and the and the ice murderers and all this it's all i don't know what the issue that is that is that connected but i just feel like the whole fucking thing is connected and i don't know what the issue that is that is that connected and if you have any theories side stories lpotl at gmail.com like yes obviously maybe it's the concept that the patriarchy gone wild but i also think we've been in one for a long time and it ain't been this bad in a hot fucking second so i don't know what the fuck's going on out there i'm with you but let's stay out of the heavy shit there's a lot of fun stuff that happened this week best story i've ever read hit me with it by far the best story i've ever read i love this woman woman fake being a substitute teacher just to go into class and berate the children single funniest thing i've ever seen heard of i'm so happy i know that she was i'm gonna just say that her material was in the shane gillis camp of being a bit blue yeah and a little bit thin but it was pretty funny she was 23 you know yeah yeah she's 23 years old she went back to her milwaukee high school because she said she quote she was bored and hates kids yeah so i fucking oh my god so this is a milwaukee yeah amy jones 23 years young september 24th so she i guess she just walked in they said one thing that they said it was a super low like it was this kind of perfect she got kind of lucky yeah it was a perfect storm was like eight teachers had called out and they only had seven replacements so like oh you must be for the last one yeah she's like yep yeah yeah yeah put me in there so she went to rufus king international high school um which is a hilarious name for a high school i don't know who rufus king is let's look that up who knows who knows but a resource officer was told that a teacher was quote using profane language racial slurs sexually derogatory statements and organizing students by race and gender in class they'll be like over here black kids over here white kids you dominican over here you can't stand over here right again this is not hey fat boy she literally hey fat boy yeah she called one student fat boy she has another student if she wanted to be a stripper or a hooker which one you got which one you won't be you won't be stripper or hooker and she told two white students that they were the type of people to start school shooting hey crackers i know you dangerous ass crackers i know you're some dangerous ass crackers look at you i know you are look at you you're a pinch face you get your black ass jeans on then she started asking for vape or weed and then like no one had it and she's like y'all lame y'all lame yeah you know it's a crime three classes she full three full hours of it and that sweet release that sweet release of those full three hours just like listening looking at the crooked spines of these ipad babies and just yelling at their faces god i'm jealous she's got six felonies oh yeah it's because you're not supposed to break into school no they hate that um as they should i do believe that the idea what she did is wrong yeah it doesn't make me not proud of her i love what she did hate the sin it's the opposite hate the sinner was i like love the sinner hate the sin yeah i kind of love both but i do understand that she needs i wish she would have filled out the paperwork to become a substitute teacher and then get fired that would be that would be that would be the best that would be the better move seems like she's a little impatient for that she could probably built that up too and she could move from and this is all great advice eddie yeah she could then move from county to county and then reapply as a substitute because they don't care no idea they have no it's so lack of paperwork anything and then you could berate kids in different counties yeah which i think could be really fun she is smiling very widely for her mugshot she knows that she was arrested again within the last 24 hours for stealing a car from a gym she is really an erratic human being rob yeah i don't think that i think that she might be a bit erratic but we are but i do think there's hope for her i feel like if we get her on meds like she could be opening for us yes i think i think that we're there i think that we're there i think that if she could get that all figured out she could maybe figure she's got a lot of extra energy uh but she is facing six felony charges um they could be convicted she can get a maximum sentence of 21 years i don't think they're gonna that's gonna happen to her i doubt that the main the main one is impersonating a public employee and then five counts of exposing a child to harmful descriptions which i mean i feel like they're just kind of like tacking that on well the one thing oh well yes they're gonna they're trying to just get fucking all they're trying to fucking get her on whatever they can get her because it's really the idea of it's not about her making fun of the kids everyone wants to make fun of the kid i feel bad for the fat kid but i mean it's same time sometimes you got to hear it i got called fucking the only did was scream free willie at me for fucking a decade or a long time yeah it's just what happens okay and so i think that she is um yeah she's in the wrong i do understand the main main issue here is breaking into the school which i could see why they want to make sure that they punish you for breaking into a school during a time when people shoot up schools all the time it's not a good time to do this no it is not this is not a good look you should do this at a private school yeah also you do this in the 70s no one cares everybody laughs you become a teacher isn't it kind of a good thing that she did this because she pointed out a weakness no it's a no it's just easy to do anybody can walk into a school and kill everybody it's actually extremely easy it's a place for children that principal should be in a lot of trouble i'm sure they are but they said that she went through all the security protocols yeah so she didn't have a gun she didn't have a gun she didn't have anything she went to the metal detector and stuff like that um but they did not really validate that she was a teacher so that was one of those things that they should go through basically like who knows there's more of a system that could be there but we know that the elementary school and all of these systems every public school system is stressed to the absolute max yeah in order to work for as little money as humanly possible so i could see why there are gaps like this but yes she got to live everybody's dream but hopefully she's going to be able to live she doesn't get punishment to the maximum for it because that's the best part is just yelling at a bunch of fucking teenagers oh my god white kids over here black kids over here it's so funny just like oh my god lady what are you doing so funny just doing speed roast she's just doing we're fucking she's just doing her job because the idea of just pulling them apart and taking them apart but yeah you know and also let's just say they gave those kids so much stuff to talk about oh my god it's also it's like you're a parent of one of those kids it's like okay i'm mad that this happened and it's sad but what did you learn what did you learn what did you learn tell us i learned that i'm a pussy i'm a whack-ass pussy mom yes you are exactly yeah exactly because you're never holding are you son where's your vape yeah you're never holding yeah you never know what the next we don't know where the link is right where's the fucking link son oh milwaukee yeah i love them all right we got and what's next door we got some really good stuff oh holy fucking shit so six flags over georgia whoa you guys fucked up big guy fell out of the goliath ride uh collapsed on top of a bunch of people the worst part is did you see the pictures of the souvenir picture so the souvenir picture snapped at the exact time that he fell out of the roller coaster he's tumbling through the air like really like butthole first which is an unfortunate way to have your last picture be taken yeah i'm really you hope that whatever happens to me in this life eddie that my final picture is it me upside down butthole spread shooting through the air on top of a roller coaster well i'm gonna do anything i can i mean well at this point everyone knows that six flags is now scary they don't they don't well six flags they have a bunch of the rides afterwards oh the other ones are fucked up too i'm gonna put this out there as a 42 year old man whose beautiful wife is addicted to theme parks and i love it i love it theme park you guys both love them i'm taken to many different theme parks i go to many different ones and honestly i am at the point where i really only trust disney universal for the rides because of how much they have left to use that's the cedar fair people they i don't think they don't have any deaths that i know of no no they don't but they definitely have a bunch of aging rides yeah being absolutely just entirely managed by 15 to 16 year olds man the the one that scares me the most is the the kid that fell out of the drop ride yes in orlando a couple years ago that was that was a lot harder because that was a kid this is my this is a shout out to all you guys and this is a warning if you're too big for the ride don't you don't need to prove it just don't get on the ride yeah okay because the man most deaths of roller coasters it's true are human error yeah most deaths involving roller coasters the because the engineering snaps in yeah the engineering is fine largely most people die when they you know like how many times you hear about a guy losing his hat jumping over the fence to get in there to fucking go find the hat he gets hit by somebody coming through there was that famous story from six flags i think jersey or was it also georgia the one where the kid kicked the guy's head off i mean i i think that one is a uh i think that is like a urban legend yes but there's a couple of those there's a couple of those yeah but the idea of uh just if it doesn't click you must acquit if it does not click you got to get out of the ride don't take the ride i'm not blaming this guy i'm trying to not blame this guy it's not his fault it is slightly his fault because he might have insisted it seems like the latch didn't properly latch something happened to cause him to project into the air it was one of those rides where i've been on one of these it's just the lap band it's just the lap and it goes really crazy and i i went on one in uh the orion in cincinnati dude and i was like i accepted death you know what it is too it's not and i and i mean this like even seriously it is not built for men with like barreled chested or bellies yeah it's really not it's not those things loose and jiggle around because if it's not literally pressing into your organs like above your waist this is fat man i'm saying this is deep fat man concern and lessons here y'all yeah let me hear from a physicist this is from a real fat man i want to hear the side stories lpotl at gmail.com my thing is is that i think guys don't want to press it in so hard so they either expand while they get it on and then they then they relax when they get into it i think some people want to lose the ride comfortable all the time well as a fat man too it's not built for the physics of you being like i mean it i'm one i'm exactly one seventy percent of my body weight is for my butt up yeah right so i am all for the fat man all top heavy it is the exact bad thing for the stupid lap band i'm the exact i feel it i feel me sliding out of it because there's nothing for me to grab onto put the fucking shoulder harnesses on where are the shoulder harnesses everything should have shoulder harnesses or at least they also have if you're gonna have a lap band also have a seat belt yeah something you gotta make sure that you're not getting out of there i just feel like i just also feel like the un-shitification of it all is also rampant that we're really seeing nobody's looking at these things they are cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting regulations and they're just not checking on the rides enough also i want to take this as a moment to remind everyone that they need to change the name to five flags because one of the flags is the confederate flag but they're not going to change it eddie because they love that flag yes because it's one of the flags yeah so but they're like oh well unfortunately it's called six flags it's called six flags that's one of the flags you can go ahead and change it to five i will here's i will not we will not change to five flags then five flags are one that's a parisian thing and the parisians have five ass flags i say you change it to five flags or seven flags and have the nazi flag if you're gonna do it have one another do it i'd also say eight flags have all the flags confederate flag lgbtq flag yes and nazi flag i want all the flags i want everyone confused eight flag eight flags yeah see that now we're learning as long as it's even that's what i needed to be even otherwise i can't sleep although seven is lucky lucky number seven you think the lines are gonna be bad for this when it starts back up or you think it'll be the whole thing is well right now we'll see if six flags even fucking stays open at this point they are they this is they've had to shut the whole thing down you couldn't pay me money to go on a fucking roller coaster it's a six flags right now i say this at this park here's my prediction this will stay closed for a week and it'll open back up yeah people forget and they already paid money and everybody kind of wants to half die anyway yeah yeah maybe they put shoulder straps on it it needs to be rebuilt it needs to be rebuilt but yeah i would go ahead and say that if it doesn't have shoulder straps you take that as a lesson to not go on that roller coaster i'm just not gonna do that anymore yeah i think that one that's over for me there was another incident at a uh family park uh this happened in in england in the beautiful uk at the yorkshire wildlife park yorkshire a um a young man uh in his 30s i believe jumped into the tiger enclosure and alt tie the tiger killed him so it sounds like he is like what would you call him there's somebody there's kind of like a bunch of uh conflicting reports about whether or not like what his mentality was no matter what he is he jumped the fence two fences i believe people holding on to him trying not to get him to jump over they jumped off a bridge so he really the enclosure so he didn't listen yes so he didn't listen to the advice of others so you're saying he's obstinate i say whatever his issue is it's not the tiger's fault no and so we have the video here we're not even gonna play it but it's like i saw the video of him jumping in and the video of him being mauled by this tiger it kind of stops before the kill dude it's kind of crazy because he really is very casual about it yeah he's like wagging his he's wagging his finger at it he's he's he's profusely bleeding he's saying no even the tiger kind of looks back like literally like serious no he think tigers i want to say the tiger gives him like three opportunities to leave like literally a tiger's like what the fuck bro get out of here yeah no get out of here this is not something but he's literally like slapping his leg going like go bro he's like looking at him being like i just bit you twice don't you want to go someplace yeah also because he's probably fed of course you know what i mean like he didn't eat him he just killed him yes and then also tigers what you were saying too if you're going to jump into any enclosure the lion enclosure is a little bit easier if you're going to choose lions or tigers i would always choose lions because they're a little bit lazier they're a little lazier and they're you know they're friendlier and sometimes the ladies will stick up for you but it doesn't matter you shouldn't be in there i'm not telling you anyone to do any of this because it's all stupid yeah don't go don't there's a offense for a reason um but shout out to um the yorkshire uh the yorkshire zoo uh for not killing the tiger um it does not deserve to be euthanized after someone tried to fight it i completely agree i think that it is actually to be honest kind of nice that they're not i mean i think it's nice that they're not killing the tiger can i speak like a businessman for two seconds please i think it's a draw well of course this tiger killed somebody oh yeah and he's a tiger that killed somebody yeah he's chris the pike there's gonna be a line around the block yeah no he's free look at this tiger now yeah it got because he did it nicely he was just trying to like you just you came into his home yeah they're extremely territorial creatures yeah also um this tiger is born in the zoo so it just shows like it is like it doesn't matter if they're from the wild or not it's a tiger it's a fucking tiger it's i also feel like there really is a lot of people that have come to to believe, because he was begging for people to take pictures of him. He was, like, dancing around and. acting like all silly and so there is a part of me that really does it's connected back to social media it's connected back to some form of like legitimately believing he can he can just reason with the tiger that he'll go in there and this is just like a funny lark people believe that they're not gonna get hurt or killed like yeah of course people just believe it's not gonna happen to them well it's just some animal like they really just think they're gonna go in there and it's almost like they can't and maybe it's really there there's something connected to almost like an ai type psychosis almost like a thing psychosis where you kind of really believe like everything's almost a video game maybe or like everything is content that you're watching on your phone and not in real life yeah i don't know who needs to hear this but you're not special no you're not special you're just honestly you're just a bunch of meat we're disgustingly not unique yeah we're wildly not unique as as as an animal just remember that okay we just figured out that we're separate from other animals and it might be a plus negative for us yeah no this isn't good um but yeah so this tiger's just straight up fucking killed this guy and you know what i'm not saying he deserved it but he did if you jump into a tiger cage yeah sure i'm gonna just say that as nicely as possible you went past people telling you to stop there was barbed wire there was barbed wire people were dragging you this is exactly what this guy wanted a really hard cage to get in yes i think he he may not have fully understood what he was getting himself into when he jumped over that of course yeah he's a fucking moron it does seem like he had some stuff going on that's what they're saying they might have some mental health stuff going on yeah sure but still everybody's yelling don't do this don't do this you need to i mean i don't know what to tell you yeah yeah if you got mental problems do what a hero does and go break into a school and teach a class teach a class and berate the church they're saying he may have wanted to play with the tiger yeah of course he is he's a fucking it doesn't matter man we all want to play with tigers i know i do everybody does a tiger almost killed roy sing free to roy yes and he had such an intimate relationship with the tiger he kisses the tiger yes and the tiger still killed him well didn't kill him but they tried to kill him basically it fucking ended the show he was never the same yeah yeah i know that much yes but uh so i'll tell you what if you're in nepal uh you gotta look out as well yeah because uh apparently they're monkey attacks there's a lot of monkeys it's a monkey attack monkey attacks yeah but um what's going on nepal is kind of i don't know what the how you pronounce so bad for nepal right now was monkey gang attacks are everywhere and so people they're running out of hospital beds from people being bit by monkeys over 40 victims have been sent to the hospital because of monkeys have been breaking into people's homes and injuring them inside their own homes i remember monkeys were tearing apart a store and the shopkeeper's like you can't do that you gotta stop and then the monkeys all just started attacking the store owner they haven't killed anybody but these monkey bites they fucking i mean they're they're bad fucking bites dude yeah i follow um a um older monkey on social media called shing shing oh i love him from china you showed me him and i like him now the problem with shing shing is that he's shing shing is getting aggressive yeah and so there's like an older chinese woman that has to beat him with a stick right every single time he bites people but he's been biting people more and more and they've been talking about how he's biting people more and more but people want to come visit him and stuff but the thing is like shing shing doesn't give a fuck right shing doesn't give a fucking ass because he's got one arm he only got one arm and so these people just keep showing up and he just keeps but he's getting more and more aggressive each time but they think that they can like teach him by like bopping him on the head with the broom and stuff i don't think that's helping no it doesn't make you when you when you're hitting a bad monkey doesn't make it a good monkey i think shing shing is gonna kill everybody yeah well but the thing is here in nepal cutest little guy they don't really know why this is happening i think it's because monkeys are fucking angry about what we're doing with the fucking what we're doing dude yeah monkeys are angry monkeys talk yeah i mean yeah i mean they're out there they're talking amongst themselves about us we're fucking fucking shit up there's mudslides at the pole like taking out buildings they know that we did that they know because nothing like that's ever happened before so now the monkeys are talking yeah and they're like they're sick of this fucking shit if i was those monkeys though they got to get in a plane go to fucking hartford connecticut where all the insurance companies are and they need to be released into the truly need to be released into the homes of the executives of various health insurance companies and and environmental companies and i think that they should be unleashed upon them i'll tell you what the hartford show was a lot of fun but yeah there's but no one that lived in hartford came to the show there's nobody there there's no one there apparently there i walked around for an hour and a half in the rain and there was i walked into a vape shop in hartford connecticut and i asked the guy i was like is there like a restaurant or a coffee shop i can go to and the guy looked at me he's like restaurant nah he's like what he's like is there nobody no place i can go to and he hey is there a restaurant and the other guy came out i was like restaurant nah nah it's like all of hartford not a single restaurant nothing's open i am going with my cousin to the one balkan restaurant and the guy was so excited he's like have you ever had balkan food my friend and i was just like no i don't i don't know what it is you know and he was like you've never had you've never had shushlaki and i was like no buddy i've never had shushlaki and then he brought this thing that was just 10 little poops every society every society has poop meats i talked about this on the stream there's always like you know there's kafta there's merguez there's like all types of like little poopy meats yeah and the poopy meat like because i'd even call a meatball a poopy meat yeah so i was just looking i was looking at this i was like where just raw onions and and little poopy meats i uh i was like in my mind i'm like where the fuck is balka or whatever the hell so i just wrote balkan is where into google like an idiot it is really funny yeah and um yeah but it's a lot of places so uh it's fine but yeah croatia's in there so there's that but yeah uh balkan food does sound delicious it is really good honestly it was delicious it's just these what do they get what are these poop meats called they're called like chelda turkish kebabs yeah it was like but it was called like c-e-l-v-d-a it was actually really good wow it does just look like shit it looks like poops but they're really tasty poops and i eat a lot of poop meats yeah lamb is good i love all the poop meats i eat i eat every one i like all the things that look kind of like oh some of these rob are really rough some of these might just be pictures of shit i think some of these i don't know if these are the places henry went rob no no no i went to a place it was called like yes the only thing open in hartford we do not believe in god god was murdered in the revolution he was shot in the head and his corpse was eaten by the poor do you have more gush gush gush it is octopus blood we stabbed the octopus in its in its bartush and we drain it of its blood and we mix it with the blood of a of a which is a squirrel like creature that we collect 20 pound squirrel so strong fierce you like it you pick out some of the teeth it is filled with teeth the meat has teeth in it young sleeps very good it wasn't like that it's very nice um speaking of uh towns that we're uh oh god we're about to go to yes we're going to iowa city uh very excited for the show please get tickets that's in december but this man is a officially invited and does not have to buy a ticket i want him to show up at the show matthew dolby i want you to come to the show i'm going to buy you stuff i'm going to buy you a fucking drink i'm going to buy you if we got merch for you we got you we have you set you're going to come to our ios iowa city show you are there because we are going to read this same prayer so a local pastor then had to reverse the curse but like so this guy matthew dolby showed up to this is five hours south wind cities and otumwa right he began at city council meeting as it always does with what they say they have an invocation from an approved guest yeah so basically if you fill out the paperwork you can be the man who comes and does the prayer does the opening prayer and they do all the religions and stuff like that as they're supposed to as they're supposed to but his guy he filled out the paperwork and he got away with a full-on prayer for satan it's 5 30 in this meeting to order we will start with the invocation then the pledge so those of you who are watching this video that would like to participate in the invocation please stand everyone stands i can't wait to thank god for giving me a child to have sex with let us pray dear dark father let us stand now unbowed and unfed by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times let us embrace the luciferian impulse to eat of the tree of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old let us demand that individuals be judged by their actions not their faulty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things holding fast only to that which is demonstrable truth yes let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all that which will not bend must break and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared its demise it is done hail satan yes you fuck yeah fucker that's my fucker yeah stop this fat i want to hear this fucking fat ass we'll talk about this so because like right after the fact that the pastor who couldn't help himself is like we've been cursed we need to reverse the curse we need a moment of silence for the car and then the mayor of course gave in and said like you know we will do that because like the one guy that was who didn't give a fuck said like that's the invocation one of the guys leading the city council meeting was kind of fine with it because he was like you know that's the invocation he's allowed he filled it out the paperwork he can do that that's what we're going to do he's allowed to do that and so the mayor immediately was like no we should have a moment of silence for anybody to want to sit with their own god and talk about their own feelings with themselves and it's like fuck you also dolby filled out the paperwork he's scheduled to do the invocation again on november 3rd fuck yes fuck yes i love that motherfucker yes seriously dude i will buy you a meal that is what we need i know there's a lot of talk about like this is the problem guys we'll always get like i don't want to get too heavy today i don't have the emotional energy what we are the idea of the satanic panic is more widespread than it has ever been and i will always say this when it comes to criticizing the church and criticizing all these like going to like the reason why i do and continue to do that is because we are in a bad way and we're in a bad way we're in a bad church swing yes we're in a bad swing towards evangelism and right-wing prop in right-wing leadership full-on christofascist shit somebody has to constantly be needling these people they have to be this is not about just yeah sure it's edgy satanism stuff but someone has to be putting it back in their face yeah but the satanists aren't the dangerous ones they got nothing it's just worse exactly and when you look at the people that we are focused on we are focused like the actual people committing the crimes are your local leaders people destroying the world for the uh a fake version of ai that is not gonna happen agentic ai is not gonna fucking happen um that all that's fake them all banding about talking about destroying the world the guys of the entire epstein class that rapes people with impunity all men all white older men yeah not a single one not a drag queen not a trans person not any of the things that they love to attack all these types of things not a single satanist on those lists not a single i mean it yeah not a single fucking one from my camp has ever fucking raped a kid okay as far as at least in the epstein class yeah so what i want so that's why i still get a little angry i'm sure there's been a couple local guys of course that's the bad stuff and we're not gonna do that anymore we're not gonna do that anymore we're not gonna do that anymore satan doesn't speak for everybody yeah you know it's like it's mostly just the idea that we know where the problem's coming from y'all yeah and it's in the and the more you try to tell me it's not dumb and the more evidence that comes out that points towards that it is the more frustrated i get my bishop fucked the altar boys yes my priest fucked all the kids around me yeah and guess what my bishop is in his 90s walking around michigan bishop keith simons if you see him harass him like literally fuck that piece of fucking shit he's just walking around free his whole goddamn life walking around fine so until again that's what i keep coming back to i'm hoping in a couple maybe even two years from now some of these guys might get some punishment and then maybe i'll come off of this i horse i feel like if i could just see one of these really established pedophiles go to jail i'll feel a lot better about uh not screaming about this every single time it pops up also if you do happen to believe in all this god horse shit satan's the one that punishes the bad guys so you should like them satan is what keeps you in business you objective your high your entire belief system is based upon him because yeah just god being nice doesn't do anything for you does it you need the other side you need darth vader because otherwise the jedi's aren't shit yeah if the catholics weren't so scared of going to prison or going to hell they would just commit crimes and murder all the time because that's the only thing that stops them from doing it they just got to say i'm sorry and they just get to go to heaven so it doesn't fucking matter so it's a whole thing so sorry we already did this eddie you said we weren't we're not gonna get heavy we're not gonna get heavy no we're just praising satanism that's all i just love sweet sweet satan i agree with them that's all um i think that we're at listener letters time let's do it do we have any no do we have any new ones rob we do we have a whole bunch of stingers i was just looking to see if there was any good ones to pull up um i do have one this one i think might be for ed let's see let's see how it is all right eddie henry i sure hope you got some good ones for us today man that was that done by mike patten that was every genre of music you know what that reminded me that reminded me this was actually probably the highest compliment i've ever given a listener email sting that reminded me of mr bungle yeah that's good that's actually quite good that was andrew mccarthy um i wonder if andrew mccarthy listened to disco volante because it sounds like it's a literally sounds like a track from disco volante send us a follow-up email andrew mccarthy from weekend at bernie's yes i don't realize he was that talented no he is that is his main talent email stingers god i watched that stupid brad pack documentary that guy made yeah it was a bad oh my god it literally is just him trying to convince everyone else in the brad pack to talk to him on camera it's so sad and like half of the half of the fucking documentary is just him calling people begging them to be in the documentary so funny it's so poorly made i love those things i love it when it's like that i love when a documentary is mostly just a guy on a phone that's when you know it's good all right here we go we got some listener emails and i have got an email for us so this is just so you know if you are not big and fat and you don't care about cheesesteaks just blank out for the next like 10 seconds we got apparently i was talking to patty's like since i've been looking over the emails we've never received so many we have probably about a good 200 emails about cheesesteaks when we went off last week i fucking love you people of course i love you you guys know this is what this is about okay we covered the things that are of interest to our people of our society we talk about conspiracy culture we talk about ufos we talk about uh we talk about fucking murder and we talk about cheesesteaks amen and that is what we we do here all right so we're covering it all so there we go so this one um i live right outside of philly in south jersey right across the walt whitman i worked at kitchens 12 years in this area and i've had almost every cheesesteak in the tri-state area awesome i wanted to touch up on a few points before i make a recommendation what makes a good cheesesteak number one the bread yes it doesn't have to come from a specific bakery but it has to be baked in the philly south jersey area this is due to the mineral content in the water causing the bread to take on a different consistency and flavor absolutely it's why the bagels are better in new york and it's why the cheese is better in the bring the bagels and stuff that's like a whole idea of in jersey and that's why the idea of like in florida when you go and they're like we're in new york water because they ship it in or whatever and it's always stupid right it's always fake man i'll tell you what though i had the best bagel of my life on this last trip do you know where it was where white plains i've heard a lot well white plains is still legit i didn't realize that they had good food up there i realized i thought they were just all weak and stuff no no dude no that was yeah that was delicious they're only half that was a damn good bagel i wish i remembered the name of the place to shot them out but it was a little spot i went to lh and h oh okay like a real i did new york i did bobs when i was in town that was good bagel bobs shut up forever all right number two the meat should be good quality ribeye yes yes three the ratio they already said that we you touched on this number three the ratio there should be little to no dead space on the roll the entire sandwich should be touched by meat or cheese oftentimes you could tell a tourist cheesesteak by the amount of dead space that you will see on the end of the roll absolutely that is a cardinal sin yeah as far as i'm concerned the idea that there's no meat hanging off the end oh yeah no you should be squeezing out you should be have to pick some up i want some labias there yeah yeah i want some little labias and then i might fucking meet each time absolutely no matter what the sandwich is this guy sounds smart delicious little labias pat and g knows i'm honestly not surprised they can't even make a good cheesesteak why would i expect them to even act like a cheesesteak spot and stand on business interesting wow wow wow wow wow recommendations here we go write these down number one inside philly number one phillips i watched a cashier fight the health inspector once and then i ordered such an amazing cheesesteak i bought a second one to come home with amazing Love it. Number two, Ishka Bibbles. Number three, D'Alessandro's. I've heard of D'Alessandro's a lot. A lot of people have been mentioning them to me. Number four, John's Roast Pork. Oh, well, yeah. Write it down. The roast pork sandwich. The Italian pork sandwich is what he said specifically, I guess. Get the pork sandwich. That's a big sandwich that people miss. I also feel like that's another thing, that's another Chicago thing that people don't talk about, and they talk about the fucking Chicago beef. The Chicago beef is a really important sandwich to have. Yes. Number five, Woodrow's Sandwich Shop. The Italian beef, before we get killed. Italian beef, thank you. Jesus fucking Christ. How many rules do I got to be all over, right? All right? Also, I want to correct myself. It was not Jim Baker who cried. It was Jimmy Swagger. Oh, Jimmy Swagger. Yeah, I got that wrong. I also have a correction that I need to issue for myself. It wasn't 40 years in House of Jack built. It was 12, apparently. And you know what? I stand by my statement. I don't think a fucking walk-in is working for 12 years. Unbelievable. I mean, not without a health inspector. I stand by my bullshit. I'm with you. You can see that. All right, so now here's some South Jersey wrecks. Witterwood Out, which is a great name. Oh, that is, yeah. To Donkey's Place. Fuck yeah, dude. Okay. All right. I'm going to fucking burrow in one of those. Number three is that they have a custom poppy seed kaiser roll. You'll love it. Which you take as massive. That's very funny, Eddie. Thank you. Right there. Number three, Gold's Burgers. Four, Classy Cow Food Joint. Okay. And five, this is an interesting take, because I had a really good sub there. I didn't know they made a cheesesteak. The White House subs. Oh, yes. In Atlantic City. Yes. Atlantic City. That's a White House. That restaurant is the only reason to go to Atlantic City. Drive into Atlantic City. Go to White House. Go to White House. Immediately out. Get the fuck out. Immediately out. Go to White House. Oh, my God. And so tell Ed to consider changing his allegiance from Jim's. I'll try some other shit. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I can change my allegiance. Well, he said the quality of the meat and rolls are good, but fuck you on the ratios. And then, you know, because they know that one third line of tourists are going to wait in line for a cheesesteak. Do yourself a favor. Spend that time going anywhere else. Also, got to say. And so, yeah, hail yourselves. Go birds and fuck ice. Seaside Heights. Got to add this to the Jersey Contaminant. Steaks Unlimited and Seaside Heights. Everyone's saying that, unfortunately, the Philly cheesesteak is moving to southern New Jersey. And that's not me saying this. This is from the emails. The name doesn't change. Every single person in the email is talking about how southern Jersey is the new location for the Philly cheesesteak. OK. And yes, Philly, if that upsets you, get your ass into fixing the problem. Yeah. OK. If that's the thing that upsets you, be the change you want to see. Yeah. I want to see Pat's and Gino's show us how much meat's in those fucking buns and stick to it. I want them to see this and engage with the criticism and understand that this is bigger than them. This is about. This is about them taking the Philly cheesesteak idea and memorializing it in a way for the Philly culture. It's up to you to not fuck your own selves up, my friend. Yeah. This is, you know, you've had the you've been in control for too long. People are going to come take you. And getting lazy. That's what's happening. And if I ever show up in your line, please don't shit my food. Please. Absolutely not. I will eat whatever's there. Don't worry about it. This is all just because I'm on a microphone. If I am in front of a cheesesteak, it doesn't really matter. You all. You all know me. Who's seen me eat. Anybody that's in the restaurant industry that has fed me and has seen me eat. You all know me. Well, you know how well I tip. You know, I fucking eat everything. You know, I fuck it. I'm a big old hog. And I spread the word. Yeah. I tell other fat men. He likes the Balkan food. I ate the schoolers. Good. Gosh. And I liked it. I ate. It was just a pile of raw onions. Ten poops. And then there was a whole thing of this. This specific cheese. Chili sauce. The sweet chili sauce that they made. They're like, you have to have it. It's a little amazing. And I had it. And honestly, it's fine. It's good. I can't wait. It's in Thai food already, though. I've already booked my flight to Balka. Here we go. I love this guy. I'm a big fan. A board certified urologist. Okay. I was the guy that was dressed as Richard Chase at the Donner dinner party in Atlanta a while back. What's going on? Good to see you. I remember that. I remember that. Truly. It is not uncommon for venom inoculation to cause erections or pre-apism. Extended erection that won't come down. The chemicals in the venom called prostaglandins serve as signals of pain throughout most of the body, but specifically in the corpus cavernosum, your body depends on these signals to cause an erection to actually occur. In fact, we use this regularly as a safe self-injective therapy into the penis in men with advanced erectile dysfunction. Interestingly, though, the urologist that discovered this presented at a national meeting for the first time decades ago, and in a well-known incident, he self-injected this agent into his own penis prior to his presentation, at the end of which he moved out from behind the podium and showed the entire audience his erect penis, proving that it worked for his own severe ED. In fact, the urologist that discovered this presented at a national meeting for the first time decades ago, and in a well-known incident, he self-injected this agent into his own penis. And I want to just talk about this real quick. I don't know what it is, so please. So this is connected to Jim Thornton. So this is the idea of Jim Thornton being in these chat rooms, that there's a lot of these chat rooms, because now we saw that Brayden, fucking, he was also a part of these what are pro-suicide chat rooms. Oh, yes. No, he's a real piece of shit. So he's a part of these pro-suicide chat rooms. There's all these little chat rooms now, kind of like the way we grew up on the internet, but they're weaponized by social media. Social pressure. And they're all stemming from this group called the Order of the Nine Angles, which I have been researching for a long time, that are a proto-military, right-wing, fake Satanist group out of the UK. Their leader's currently in jail. They infiltrated the UK military with guys that literally believe that they're going to summon the devil and the world, like summon this ancient demon and the world. That's crazy. That's crazy, man. Fucking, right? Whoa. If you told me that, I'd be like, man, fucking whatever, dude. That's fucking crazy, man. You want to go get some grish-grosh? Grish-grosh. Go. You know what you sound like you need, man? Some grush-grosh. I've had grush-grosh for breakfast. Oh, then we got to go up to, I know this great afternoon grush-grosh guy. You got to go check him out. So I wanted to get in touch after hearing about Jim Thornton on Side Stories, because the story of me, of something that happened to my daughter recently, and I think this would be a good PSA for listeners who have kids. I ask you to keep my name anonymous. All right. It's a long story. No problem, Bill. Yeah, no problem, lady. Let you find your address. This is very sad, sir. I'm sorry. It's a long story, a lot of details, but the gist is that my six-year-old daughter had a boyfriend whom we forbade her from seeing last year after finding out he was pressuring her for nudes and a spate of other emotional, physical abuse. I had an initial gut feeling. I had a lot of feelings about him, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because we knew he was from a troubled home and wanted him to be supportive adults in his life. Yeah, and we all know if you tell the kid you can't see him, then that just draws them to him. Nothing that makes them go together faster. Fast forward to about a month ago. FBI contacted me and my husband because they wanted to interview our daughter regarding this boy's online activity. They informed us that he was tied to some 764 groups, which essentially exists to extort kids for videos of self-harm or other sexual abuse. Other violent activity for online clout and general societal disruption. When we talked to our daughter about it, she told us that she had seen these discord groups on her boyfriend's phone, and he told her that they were groups where people who had been abused would send their self-harm photos to the discord groups along with their abusers information, and the groups would then dox, swat these people. Okay. Hearing about Jim Thornton claiming to be on a website to support suicidal people reminded me of this. A shitty person masquerading as altruistic. She was so infatuated with this boy that she wanted to believe his lies, even though she really knew better. Thankfully, her daughter is thriving now after cutting him out of her life and having plenty of therapy. But obviously, I feel like a horrible mom for not catching these things sooner. Despite being a huge true crime nerd and knowing that the Internet is dangerous, I had no idea these groups exist and how far they can permeate. And it's true. It's all over all of these things. It's all over Roblox. It's all over Discord. And the problem is, is that I do think there needs to be a place where people can just be people. Like, I really do believe in non-censorship of the Internet because I think it leads to bad things. I think the idea that, like, anywhere, unfortunately, where illegal information is being distributed, it's also the place where banned information would be distributed, especially if the government goes south. Yeah. Right. So the same platforms that you would use to distribute things like CSAM and stuff like this also would be the backdoor ways that people would talk if the government went fascist. Yeah. And where the government could show public executions. And that's where they want to go, because that's like that. My big thing. My big thing with the public execution stuff is that I don't know if they're going to find a streamer or anybody that's going to willing to put it on their pipes. I don't think anybody is going to be into being a part of this scenario. It's different than a UFC fight on the lawn. It is the idea of being a part of this new. I don't know. Maybe I'm maybe I think too highly of of computer programmers and some of these streamers. I don't know. But I feel like they're not going to want to be associated with doing it. But I don't know. Maybe I'm maybe I'm a naive. Well, see, HBO and Paramount just merged. Could be there. Oh, can't wait for Skydance. Skydance. Yay. I love that. I'm dancing in the sky. But 764 is real. It's really hard. I think that if I was a parent, I know that we would live in almost Russian style where I would know every single thing that was on their phone. I would go through every one of the apps. I would go through all of that stuff. It does teach them to hide. Better. But I also think you should make it really hard for them. I feel like we just have to make sure we create the. No matter what you do, I feel like it's super important to remember to make sure the kid understands that this meat space is actually the primary existence. And this thing that I think that what he called it an elephant graveyard, he called it like regular or normal reality, whatever the thing is like this thing, this life that we're walking around is the primary reality. Yes. And we need to serve this reality. They're trying to manipulate everybody. Of course. And so they're going for kids. They're going. They're going for vulnerable adults. They're going for people who are suicidal. They're going for people with eating disorders. They're going with people because they are on desperation. They're preying on this. And the 764 thing is this gigantic exploitation ring and blackmail ring. And it's very easy for kids to fall into it. It's just easy because it's like in Poltergeist. We're like, they appear to her as another child. And they say things. Only a child can understand. They like because there is something to that. There is a they're weaponizing it against kids. So I'm sorry, everybody. We all have to keep our heads in a swivel as a society. Yeah. And it's going to get more complicated every fucking week. So just know that. So live every day. Understanding the rules are shifting. Love the fact that the rules are shifting. We're going to learn new rules and we're going to laugh our way to the bank when we smoke ourselves asleep every single night. We love it. We love you guys very much. Love you. I do. We love you. And nothing makes me realize I love you more than when we go to do live shows. I'm not even joking. Like going to see you guys in live shows. How cool was it, Rob, to see the crowd and have them fucking yell at you? It was a pep rally. It was amazing. Something I'll never forget. You know, like them being able to do that. Like, you know, we play all dance to. Oh, my God. We played. Choose in Texas. Choose in Texas. There's some Epstein's. It was just fun. It was a lot of fun. I had such a good time. But you want to come see us? We're on the road. On October 24th, we're doing side stories again for the third year in a row at the Mateel Community Center in Redway, California. That's Humboldt. But this year, we're doing something different. Yes, there will be a costume contest. Yes, we are bringing prizes. But the thing that we're doing different is we are not taking any money this year. We are giving it back to the Mateel Center and the Humboldt County Growers Alliance. We're going to help that county. We're going to help you guys keep growing your sweet, sweet weed. We love you so much. We love you. And we want you to be able. We want that sweet, sweet weed. So come on out and support the show. You'll be giving back to the community for this particular show. Oh, and sadly, big update. What? Keefy D. 40 years to life. 40 years to life. Yep. That's it for him. Yep, he's done. That's it. Well, you know, don't write a book about it. Don't tell everybody about your crimes. Yes. The day after the show at Humboldt, I'm going to be at San Francisco at Cobbs Comedy Club. I'm going to be co-headlining with Billy Wayne Davis, hosted by. By Holden McNeely. It's going to be very interesting. Come check that out. Oh, God. Has he ever hosted before? I've had him host for me once before. It's fine. It's an experience. Come check it out. It's going to be a blast. Our Portland main show on November 14th is sold out. Sorry about that. There are low tickets for the following day in Burlington. So come out to that. There's a low ticket announcement for that. On December 3rd at the Ice House in Pasadena, Ed Larson and friends, hosted by Henry Zebrowski. Yeah, baby. Come on out to that. That's going to be a blast. We got Pat Barker, who's our researcher here. Dude, he's fucking very funny, too. That's an amazing comedian. That's how I know him, and that's how I met him. So please come check that out. He's so funny. Billy Wayne Davis is on that as well, and the wonderful Carmen Legala. Oh, wow. Carmen Legala's going to be on this show. Yeah, she's visiting. I was just talking to her. Oh, that's great. And also, truly, if you're in the L.A. area, and you've never been to the Ice House, it's a legendary. I've never been. No, I'm really excited, too. I haven't either. It is a legendary club. It's one of those fun things that you just, like, we're trying to remember, because when we were in New York, we went to the Blue Note, and we went to all these places, like old school flavor, and I just, we got to have it, L.A. Yeah. Just like I was yelling about the cheesesteaks, we got to do it for our fucking selves, dude. God damn right. So, yeah, that's something I'm going to be doing. I'll let you guys know, but every other month, I'm going to do an Ed Larson and Friends somewhere in the city. So, come check those out. Keep your ears peeled for them. Iowa City on December 11th. Columbia, Missouri, December 12th. That's for Side Stories. The very next night, I'm going to the Helium in St. Louis with my buddy Logan Metz. We're going to have a blast out there. That's going to be on December 13th. And then go to eddytoons.com to find out where else I'm going to be next year in 2027. Nashville, Rochester, Albany, and, of course, the wonderful Crime Wave at Sea. Yes, come and join us on the waves. It is really good. Remember, you can get those tickets. It's all the way away. And that's actually, I feel like the payment plan is actually kind of nice. Yeah, well, we're getting close, so you better fucking hurry up. We're getting close. Please come. Please. It's so much fun. It's basically sold out. There's like one or two of our tickets left. Yeah, so, yeah, come on with it. We love you guys. We're going to have a blast. Every time I do a show on the road and I meet people, they're like, I'm coming to the cruise. So, it's going to be a fucking blast. So, get your ass out there. All right. All right, fuckers. Hail sweet Satan. And you know I mean it. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And hail this guy right here, man. Hail RJ Mitt. RJ Mitt, that is extremely fucking sad, man. That was extremely, extremely sad. Truly talented. I also want to give a shout out to somebody that is actually, you know, because we've had the same manager for years and we've been around her for a really long time and she's somebody I've known for a really long time. Grace Helbig just found out that her breast cancer that she had beat moved to her brain. Jesus Christ. And so, she's been around for a really long time. She's going through. So, if you can go and support her in any way, I just think that I saw that and that was like one of those. She's like the sweetest person in the world. A really good person. A really genuinely good person. She's been nothing but kind and I don't know why she was ever nice to me. It is just. And so, that was one of those that made me really fucking emotional. And also, go check out Mindy Tucker's podcast in which she completely destroyed Eddie and I. Yeah. We're going to be on it separately and she made us both cry. It was just. Maybe not on camera, but it happened to both of us. I legitimately don't even know if it's going to be entertaining or not. It is literally so soul. It was very soul. It was very deep soul driven conversation. But she is the premier photographer of all comedy in New York City. She's the only person that knows our entire comedic history. Yeah. Besides ourselves. Like, she was there for Murderfest days. She was there for the Creek days. She was there for the. The beginning of it all. She took pictures of the first ever roundtable live show. Like, I took all these pictures that were extremely emotional to see and we go through them one by one. And so, to really kind of hear a little bit of a window of kind of where we came from and, you know, the community that we were around. Go check it out. Yeah. And we hired. I'll post it when it's up. It's not up for. I think it's like next month or whatever. Yeah. And we hired her to shoot the Warsaw, the sold out Warsaw show. So, look around for those pictures coming out. We'll post them. All right, guys. Bye, fuckers. Bye.