Side Stories: A Fortnight at Bernies w/ Carolina Hidalgo

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Dude, went and saw that Resident Evil last night. Yeah, you like it? Ooh, doctor, doctor, give me the news, dude. It is good, right? Of course, it looks great. It is a video game movie. Like, it is the first video game movie that, like, is a video game. I love this. We're not being paid or being asked to push this movie, by the way. I legitimately love this fucking movie. It is fun. It's not, I mean, like, some people will be scared of it because it's very gory and there's monsters, but it's an action movie. Yeah, but also, like, yeah, that's the whole point. It's Resident Evil. Why would you show up to a Resident Evil movie if you didn't think there wasn't going to be monsters and things getting shot? And things being scary and sneaking around? It is like a gameplay. That's awesome. I feel like they could do the movie again with the same character and it could be completely different because it feels like a gameplay. I believe Zack Krieger was saying that was the goal. I'm excited to see it. I haven't seen it yet. Dude, it's fucking awesome. It's bloody as shit. Fucking everyone gets killed. If someone shows up, they dead. I'll tell you what, though. I don't know if it will hold a candle to Pumpkinhead 2. Ooh, I don't know about that Pumpkinhead. That's what I watched yesterday was Pumpkinhead 2, which is. Probably. I'm going to say the best movie ever made. Oh, really? So I think that that's. I'm going to watch it tonight. I don't want to. I don't want to spoil it for you. Yeah, no spoilers for Pumpkinhead 2. It's so moving and audacious and the movie insists upon itself. You know what I did for Resident Evil that I should do for Pumpkinhead 2, but I don't think it's going to be an option? Jerk off before you go so you can focus? No, no, no, no. I'd do it during. I did the Screen X. Ooh. Three-sided screen. Oh, no. Why? Yeah, you know, I figured I'd try it out. I'm like, if any movie might be fun, it might be Resident Evil. I don't like novelty. That's my big. It's blatantly not made for it. That's my gripe. That's my Henry. Trademark Henry gripe? Yeah, Henry gripe. Right here, right now? Yeah. Don't change the screens on me. Yeah, yeah. I don't need the chair moving around. I don't need all this kind of sensation going on. I didn't enjoy it. I have to say, I'm never going to see another movie like that. That's my old man. That's an old man sentiment I have. Well, I don't think. Anyone enjoyed it, to be honest with you. I just heard people complaining as they left. It's because they just kind of, like, spread the edges of the movie off onto the walls. Yeah, it's stupid. And it's, like, blurry. Yeah, what's the point of it? It's very. And they have to, like, shut it off on certain scenes. They're like, no, we actually need you to concentrate. This is stupid. That's so stupid. I saw Backrooms in 4DX, and it was so cool. What do you mean, Backrooms in 4DX? Nothing happens. It was so cool. I love the movie, but there's not, like, anything that happens in Backrooms that will require you to be jostled back and forth. You gotta see it. It was cool. Whatever. I'm fine. I like my chair for me to be sat upon, in which I'm just watching the movie. Life is distracting enough. If the movie was specifically made for the three screens, I could be into it, maybe. The phone is already saying, don't watch the movie. The phone is just sitting hot in my pocket, going, don't watch the movie, look at pornography. Look at what they're saying. Don't you want to see what they're saying? Don't you want to check the news? You gotta do that in the back room. Don't you want to see what they're doing? Yeah, no, it's hard, man, already. So I don't need all this distraction. I just want to be able to jerk off in a movie theater. In peace. Like, because that's the whole thing. If I'm in the 40X, and I'm shifting back and forth, and I'm in the middle of J-ing off because I got a nice J-Law scene going on, I don't want to shoot it all over the knees of the person next to me. Or the back of the person in front of you. Thank you, Eddie. Welcome to Side Stories. Did you guys see the guy who maced the crew, the whole crowd? No, we're getting into it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get ahead of me. Don't fuck with my movie theater. I went back regardless of the mace man. Whatever, it's a hero, and you also follow the rules, so it's not your fault. So here we go. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the very entertained Ed Larson. I am happy with my decisions. And it's really good. Did Julie like it? Julie loved it. We had a great time. It was great for both of us. It's just fun. Great. It's just a fucking blast. Weapons is scary. This movie's a fucking blast. Zach Greger, give him $10. Give me $10. I want my money back. Give him his money back for the promo. For the promo, I love you. Give him his money back. We're going to go to, we know where he lives now, so we're going to go to his house. We're going to go find him at his house. I'm going to find you. I'm just going to give you a hug and thank you for making this a cool movie. And then we're going to grab at you and say, make sure you give us every script. We want to read everything that we do. We want to be in your home. We want to be on your set. We want to be in your life. We want to have sex with your wife. We want to raise your children. I want to be a Greger. We're going to make that happen. Can I be a Greger? Yep. I'm just going to change my name. Yeah. I don't think you can stop me, actually. Fuck you, dude. You're fucked, Zach Greger. Yeah, actually, yeah, go fuck yourself. Yeah, you're fucked, dude. I'm going to go legally change my name to Greger, and then I'm going to be your brother, and you're going to have to put me in shit. Yep. Done. Fuck you. Just like Christopher Nolan. Eat shit. You can be Nolan. I'm Christopher Nolan. You can change your full name from Henry Zabrowski to Christopher Nolan. I'm Christopher Nolan now. Start directing movies. Yeah, absolutely. Be like, we're doing, you know what we're doing, my favorite? We're doing Weekend at Bernie's. We're revamping Weekend at Bernie's. Except this time, whole week. Wow. Fortnite. At Bernie's. So here we go. We have a lot of updates. First thing I want to hit is on, first of all, our favorite guy here, Brayden, also known as Clavicular, has finally been charged with rape and drugging a woman. It has been a long time coming. He has been very much bragging about his crimes all over the internet. Last time we covered him, he had overdosed. And for those of you who don't know, Clavicular slash Brayden, his name's fucking Brayden, is a looks-maxer, which is this thing that is a poisonous thing that they're giving to little boys on the internet, which is they're smashing their bones in their face, they're doing all sorts of injections, they're taking their bones out, they're doing all sorts of weird experimental health things to themselves to make them look like very pointy skeletons. He's a cancer on society. He's a cancer on society, and hopefully soon he will be a cancer in jail. But we will find out that, because we've been knowing that Clavicular is cruising for a bruising for a while. Yeah. We've been calling here on Side Stories, waiting for the day. And knowing for a fact that Brayden was going to commit a crime. Yeah, well, I mean, this shit's been, this happened over a year ago. Yep. And it's now taken this, it's taken a while for the charges to build. He got an underage woman, an underage girl, 17 years old. A girl. A girl. Yeah, you're right. You're a girl. She was drunk, and he had sex with her. Yep. And then he injected her face with some bullshit, all on camera. Yep. And then in the morning, he forced himself on her again, and now she's pressing charges. Good. And I think that's, and I hopefully, and I wish her. I wish her strength, because I know that this is an extremely difficult process, and I hope that she is all right going through this, and I hope Calvicular will see his day in jail. Yeah, and they're being, of course, this whole team's being fucking horrible about it. It's like, oh, it took you three months to mention this. Yeah, of course, because it's extremely. It's like, yeah, because you're fucking haunted, bro. Because it's extremely traumatizing, and you're a fucking multimillionaire with access to whatever lawyer that you could have access to. Yeah. So it's, that's why they're afraid, because you, that's why he rapes nobody, unfortunately. And I don't mean that in a. In a bad way. I'm just saying that's why he rapes a girl, because then he can get away with it. You notice he didn't do it to another influencer. Yeah. Well, he's also been, in the past, he's gotten in trouble for making women fight on camera. No, he's not. He's bad. He's a bad person. And then he shot an alligator. Yeah, he's a bad person. That OD should have wiped him out, but it didn't. So, I mean, but we wish him the best here, because it's all still a legend. So just so you know, James Vlasikas, part of the Snowtown Murder crew, he is also being released. But we knew. We knew that for a fact. He's the young one, the one who was abused by his brother, and kind of like talked into the whole thing. If anyone should be released, I think he is the guy. He was already in the mail. He was getting released. They'd been talking about this for a while, which has finally happened. 25 or 26 years, something like that. Yeah, something like that. And then they, so he is now, he's going to be out. I think it's interesting, you know, recently too, another person, this is another update for us that we didn't cover really, but Paul Bernardo is also up for parole, for those of you that don't know. Who's that again? Ed might not be aware. Paul Bernardo is a part of the, what has become known as the Ken and Barbie murderers in Canada. They did horrific crimes. Well, Paul Bernardo and Carla Homolka, they were a team, and they raped and murdered a bunch of girls together, and also her sister, Carla Homolka's sister. And eventually what would happen is that Carla Homolka walked. So now she's like being kicked out from place to place in Canada as they discover her real identity, because she. hidden her identity and she's kind of wormed her way in a bunch of mommy groups in these like little towns in canada and they find her and they kick her out and she moves on to the next town essentially isolate yourself no it's because there she's a fucking psychopath you probably should have been in jail paul bernardo though is now up for parole and i doubt he's going anywhere but canada can surprise you yeah you know they they like to oh they just delayed it oh they just delayed the parole hearing good good good good good good good no paul bernardo and i would say yes you know i'm criminal of many different things i would say his worst crime of all though his attempt at rapping um he did an entire thing you should hear you should have heard his whole like i'm i'm paul bernardo and i'm here to say i rap in a canadian way oh no yeah but they never like good music oh i feel like if you enjoy good music it keeps you from doing crimes oh you thought you're talking about canadians in general i'm talking about just murderers yeah yeah sometimes except for dennis nelson do you think um james fallas fallas cast how do you say his name velasquez velasquez i'd say velasquez velasquez do you velasquez do you think he's ever going to go to a live concert i mean if i was live if i was live and i'm not but if i was live i invite him every day to every tour and be like hey listen let me make it up to you we want to redo the songs for you it's live on tour yeah with four non-blondes whoa are they going whoa they're going australia oh this is what i'm fucking talking about oh my god are they going to adelaide on stone temple pilots no fucking way dude yeah they're going to adelaide they're going right to rad lane oh my god we have to all right let's buy him a ticket let's buy him a ticket let's fucking have him say i'm sorry is this bad let's send him to the meet and greet send him to the meet greet oh my god let's go with this parole officer he's just gonna be like you know what it's like okay it's just gotta be amazing for him like it's called the justin time tour no i'm saying he's just that's amazing you can go see him live dude you've always wanted to that's amazing wow god i want to see this show honestly this is a great tour it does look like a lot of fun in australia and oh man i'd fly to australia to go see live for non-blondes and stone temple pilots and my wife won't go i'd like about eight of those songs i think dude you'd be surprised you're not picking the stp i love stp but scott wyland's dead see aic that's first stp right below it allison chains is aic yep okay okay that's what i view it that's my uncle state that's my that's my link that's my rank right yeah yeah i mean of course allison change is better than stone temple pilots uh yes yeah but i do like but now without scott wyland who knows but i'm certainly found a it could have been me wow you're not skinny enough yeah you're not androgynous enough you need to have a thinner waist and a better belly button i miss him jeff gutt is the new singer oh jeff gutt oh buddy good for you way you know it's better he got a gig it's kind of funny because it reminds me immediately of the director of pumpkin head 2 jeff burr oh i wonder if he's as talented as him i uh we're covering just you know it's a pumpkin head thing it's for movie stories go check it out it's over on patreon yeah october is gonna be horror movie month over there movie stories we're having a good time are speaking of horror month uh this is just another quick update because we're not getting into this right now because we are going to do an entire series on the story uh just so you know also guess who's sniffing around our our daddy netflix is sniffing around this story as well oh really yeah they've been asking people that are connected to this case for interviews already rc horsch uh the slash whatever you want to call him he doesn't have a bad man name yet no no he does not have a villain name yet he's probably the kensington killer the kensington the kensington horror house uh it's actually outside of kensington uh in philadelphia he you know wore an eyepatch uh for those of you that don't know his son eugene her horse was arrested on i'm getting drug charges all this kind of shit they began to investigate the house he was living in where his horseable mr horschable that's great that's great that's a shitty name he deserves yeah of course it's right you know that's a good one but he uh because he's very obviously a rapist and murderer by his face that's the worst part again which we covered this last time about sad that he just looks scary and then is scary i like somebody that it's the opposite oh man never judge a book by the cover but like the book is just like filled with the word rape hey yeah yeah yeah the rape manual you gotta want to read it for you you really don't want to read it to really oh actually oh it is what it says it is um and so this is a uh it's like every paul verovin film so this um there is a bunch of updates and we really don't want to get into all of the updates because of just how thick it is and we don't want to mess it up and we're going to do an entire episode on this just so you know it's looking like there is evidence of a another snuff film of course there is at least evidence of they're saying right now they're saying up to five dead people uh you know up to 60 i mean who knows well fucking who knows it's just all over the place are there 60 missing women attached to the building yes there are women that were because part of what he used to do was that he used to take quote-unquote take pictures or do quote-unquote art projects with homeless women yeah and so a lot of them went missing so we don't really know yet if it doesn't mean that they're going to take pictures or do quote-unquote art projects with homeless women and so i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i got that from a uh from a listener that said that he got a local nickname was jizz because of his dad oh no so his dad was a pornographer so everybody called eugene jizz because he is his dad's jizz and so that's how he referred to his son i don't know if it's that logical i just he's just straight up calling him jizz hey jizz yeah you dad make jizz you're jizz man so i've been listening to him for a long time and i've been listening to him for a long time and listening to this new artist from new orleans named flag boy giz and i thought for a while it was flag boy jizz and then i started listening to his music more there's nothing jizzy about this yeah and then he's and he mentions himself as giz and i'm like oh my god thank god i didn't make that mistake because he's always also rapping about killing people a lot and so i'm glad i didn't accidentally meet him be like hey mr jay hello mr jizz what'd you call me my father was mr jizz yeah all right but you call me randy dude look at this guy tell me you don't love him immediately oh that's this is the guy that's flag boy giz what is this dude we outside is like the best song ever it's his fucking new album gunfight dude it's like the not the album's called the song gunfight is fucking i have no idea he's incredible he's a martin brown indian it's good yeah have you been listening i've heard it it went viral it did okay good good good because i go on i go on i like his hat he's got like 2 000 listens i thought no one's really listening it's like a new orleans it's not a hat it's a fucking it's a lifestyle you know it's a new orleans vibe you know where did you get that hat mr jizz yes you're gonna get us killed choose me mr jizz my question is how many exotic balls how to be executed it's honestly and i don't even know if you can find him dude because he's covered in he's covered in pez dude i'm telling you that man will kill all of us i love him i love him i want him on the show hell yeah super sunday stay away from a flat no i don't want everything i'm just i love him though i love this attitude i gotta hear the song i will hear the prettiest he's the prettiest it's it's rap it's it's like rap hip-hop it's new orleans music new orleans is all new orleans music is everything you are the number one if there was a person who likes zydeco and nola style music you're like the person who likes it the most yeah who is not an older creole woman from nola like you have the case of a of a witch doctor from the swamp you love this you just love new orleans music i will say this is the one time amber shared music with me and i didn't hate it wow and i actually i'm kind of obsessed with that's incredible my problem with nola music truly is that it kind of feels like how like blues feels to me sometimes where it's so state specific yeah but like when i hear new orleans music and i'm not in new orleans it makes me really fucking sad really yeah because i'm not in new orleans tell me you don't love this shit no it's good no it's good that is really good i'm excited for it we like ed's taste ed's taste is getting smoother and my taste is getting janglier yeah because i feel like you're getting smoother and i'm adding even more jangles i've been getting really into more kind of jangly music yeah i've been cutting out white people in music in my free time so there's a white genocide happening on your spotify i will go see a white man live play music but as far as like listening to it in my free time you get the fuck out of my head unbelievable i'm fine if i'm listening to a white man it's henry zabrowski thank you hey and i'm the only white man you need and guess what you know what's funny about that i ain't even white i'm polish wow we know that that's why i like well y'all know that i ain't white you'll know i'm polish you know who is white jim thornton now talking about a white guy right from your so this is all right we're gonna have to frame this this is we're in a bit of uh i'm gonna say i don't even like the term i'm about to use this is a bit of a sticky situation so we covered this last week uh jim thornton the former announcer for wheel of fortune is he officially fired yo yeah the wheel of fortune did a more thorough job than the police investigating jim thornton now i think i know why so jim thornton i think we're gonna have to frame this this is a bit of a sticky situation two weeks ago while we were on break he was uh the announcer of wheel of fortune one job literally the easiest job in the whole fucking world had the whole world in his pocket because all he had to do was read from a sheet of paper with his big fat dumb ass head flopping back and forth that is all he had to do and do nothing else that is all he had to do was just do that do charity runs and go to jail Go the fuck home. That's all you had to do, Jim, you fucking pervert. but let's bring this back so jim thornton was on a plane he was on american airlines plane i'm gonna throw them under the bus because they're the worst of all of them i mean you know united i will say they i was on american airlines flight the other day and they were very nice to me good they were very nice so it wasn't yeah we're delta people but they they didn't spank me or nothing no i get good and so jim thornton was on american airlines of course on american airlines they allow this they like this and so he was on a website called lifeline.chat in which he was just typing tippity-tapping tippity-tapping away right and what that turned out to be was a chat site that was ostensibly for pedophiles struggling with their identity and people struggling with pedophilia but it turns out it was more of a celebration because it was an entire website of uh people just talking about how great it was that they were pedophiles and how much they wanted to have sex with little boys and a lot of it was it was all written down and there was another website that is connected to a thing called boy moment and another one called boy life that all have a lot of c-sam on it called covered in porn right he's just looking at this on a fucking plane so he uh he was typing it and jim thornton's excuse was hey i had a family member that committed suicide i like to spend time my own personal time in these various forums where people talk about suicide ideation and i want to talk them down and like that's what i do that's how i give i give and i give and i give and i give and i give was his family member a self um uh identifying pedophile no he is so he jim thornton uh no of course not no it said nothing to do with this so uh no it's all fake eddie all that is fake it's not real because uh that's what the excuse he said he said that to the police when they called the the police i guess someone told the captain while they were on the plane and he said that he was a pedophile and he there's a man on a pedophile website just fucking tippity typing away they told the captain who called the police who met jim thornton when they landed they looked at all stuff jim thornton fed him the line saying i just accidentally wandered into this website and it took me about the entire flight for me to realize oh my god this is about pedophilia this is insane and so they uh just let him go because i don't think they wanted to deal with it they didn't have the resources to deal with it they need to get a uh a search warrant for his laptop they would need to do lots of stuff normally these types of bus they take a long time you have to build up a lot of evidence right because they're very difficult to catch so the internet went ahead and did that for them so because immediately he went to the wheel of fortune wheel of fortune that seems to have far more access to massive investigative efforts they fired him immediately because uh i think what they found was this stuff uh which is what we're about to talk about so this is still all alleged we don't know if this is indeed jim thornton okay yeah i'm gonna say this right now we don't know is it really close yes so this came from a uh there's two sources one is from a a website called gpatricksec.com which was just like it's like a blog site in which these guys have been this one guy g patrick has been investigating pedophile network okay because as we've talked about before pedophiles have to work in they have to work in a network and don't deserve a moment of peace no and they when they have to work in a network there is no the individual lone acting pedophile is a story that the police tell you because largely these these networks are really hard to get and this is specifically hard to pin down because it's about finding out whether or not they actually used c-sam whether jim thornton had c-sam and shared c-sam yeah and that is all you have to find all that stuff out because if they are just talking they technically as disgusting as it is they can talk yes about these horrific things it is free speech they are allowed to talk about these horrific things does it mean that you will continue to be the announcer for wheel of fortune certainly not no because it looks bad because they already kept pat sajak who's a monster was he a monster yeah what did he do fucking alcoholic mega every level of fucking monster he terrorized vanna white really yeah but they just kept them man vanna white has had like a great slash disturbing career i love poor vanna white she deserved that role dude she should have but also at the same time fucking i hope that wherever vanna white is right now i mean she's a millionaire many times over i just hope she's just loving life and she's so happy that she doesn't deal with any of these creeps anymore and she just she needs to do what tina turner did we remember when tina turner she retired to her swiss chalet with the millionaire she married and then they went to go interview her the year before her death and she's like i'm tired of entertaining other people i live my whole life other people now i'm living for tina and it's like that's where you want to be vanna yeah so this guy so look into this research on your own i would say uh so g wrote this little blog things but the letter g patrick and then another guy named sly boy that i don't particularly like the name of the the channel but they put a lot of stuff together so one of the things they put together was that he was posting all over these websites so this is what i'm going to start with so i could say why they even think it might be jim thornton posting all these yeah so we know that the website on lifeline.chat where he was on he was typing under a specific nom de guerre uh called nicholas b77 so they track that on this these with these things but it's he was nicholas b77 on lifeline chat but they found the same account linked to an account called little nicky on boy moment now here are some of the the data points that little nicky has posted about he has called he said that his birthday is march 8th jim thornton's birthday is march 8th he has said that he has a son with type one diabetes who was diagnosed at 12. jim thornton's son sam was has diagnosed with type one diabetes wow jim thornton the little nicky has said that they are fluent in spanish learned at 15 an ear for mimicry and has some german jim thornton has a linguistics degree marshall university study german and spanish the little nicky said his job was a broadcaster worked early mornings for years i dreamed that he worked a job he's dreamed of since he was a kid union and pension coming out coming out would be a career killer so they are saying these are guys that are saying being a pedophile is normal that's a key to all of this these are guys that are trying to say that pedophiles are not only normal but a lot of times are evolved human beings that understand a little bit more than the rest of us yeah they they claim that they uh they understand that they what they believe that what they are attracted to is wrong yep and well no they think it's society no no unwrong and wrong completely wrong eddie they think that society's wrong and can't understand that pedophilia is as old as children and that we should be allowed because aristotle did it right and so i know that there are chat groups of pedophiles who get together non-practicing pedophiles that get together and kind of commiserate together to be like hey let's not do this i do know that exists i'm not a spokesman for pedophiles you're not but i will but eddie won't do that i'm not a spokesman for pedophiles i'm not a spokesman for pedophiles he says he wants to be though so all this goes back i mean it's good that they are in a place no i don't think so i don't think so no i think that pedophilia is a uh a virus amongst human dna that is meant to eliminate those people i personally believe that pedophilia is a um anybody that's non-practicing quote-unquote a non-practicing pedophile i'm gonna get a lot of emails about this i couldn't fucking care less um it's kind of like being a saying you're the wall for nobody what is going to eventually happen is you're going to take the jokes outside because you're sick of people not hearing jokes yeah so i think that non-practicing pedophiles are just practicing to practice okay uh that is my view that is my view so i just think that all that it's a fucking because how long are you going to deny your true self it's not what happens it doesn't happen i like to hear from a therapist on this because i i'm very intrigued please please i was lpocl at gmail.com you know i love hearing all perspectives i've heard this perspective before this is my version of conservatism i agree with you that is my version of conversion i think that they should all just be killed but yeah the uh chemically castrated that you've got to cook the dick and balls off yeah but we're not allowed to we should i know but we're not allowed well you know i'm just saying that's my opinion so this guy is so that's where all this comes from that's the base of this is that they are attaching all this together they're pretty certain it's this guy and what i do think is really interesting is some of the quotes attributed to jim thornton that have now come out so we saw last week we talked about him talking about how he loved that the burbank golden corral is a jet it is an absolute boyfay right yeah and so now this is what we now know about jim thornton if this is indeed little nicky and so we're not saying it is allegedly it might be but these are the things that little nicky said i'm a pedophile so i'm an inherently nice guy i have been a diaper lover for as long as i can remember even at age six i remember getting sexually turned on by wearing a diaper. Whatever the reason, I love wearing them, and I love little boys in diapers. So hold on, I don't have any memories from Six. Yeah, he had a lot of memories. He remembers getting hard in a diaper at Six? Yeah, he was hard by four himself. Also, that's how corny he was. Still in a diaper at Six? That's not very popular. No, it's because my mommy did it as an. His mommy did it, we cut this little out, his mommy did it as a punishment because he was a bedwetter. And so he said, oh, but now to this day, I keep Pamper's Good Nights XLs on hand for fun, which fit my 32 waist. It's a little skimpy, but still kind of cushy where it counts. Now we should go measure his waist to make sure that lines up as well. I honestly think that that's a lie. Let's talk to the costumer. He's a 38. Boys should be naked all the time, let's just say it. But seeing a boy wearing clothes is kind of like gift wrapping on a present. It leaves something fun to the imagination. So I love the packaging, if you will. For example, Levi's blue jeans on a little guy are so hot, but more revealing garments can ignite my imagination. So like undies, swim trunks, and especially clingy, thin cloth sweatpants. It doesn't ignite your imagination. There's less. So if anything, your imagination should be ignited by more clothes. Something like that has me undressing a boy with my eyes. I love to do that in places like the grocery store or the airport. And the thought police can take a long walk of a short catwalk. I wish I had enough money to do a reboot of Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. This time on a private island. Loads of boys running around scantily clad, free rides, cotton candy, hot dogs, root beer on tap, plenty of swimming, lounging in the jacuzzi, and having fun all day and all night. Oh my god. Do I think it's wrong to compare the persecution of pedophiles today to that of the Jews in Nazi Germany? Not at all! Shit! And history reveals other examples. It was the same way America dealt with the fear and mistrust of blacks after slavery ended. Again, I didn't say these things. This is not my opinion. These are not my opinions. These are little Nicky's opinions. Yes. So, um. No results for Jim Thornton on the Epstein list. So just so you know. They wouldn't let him to the party. Again, all of this is alleged. We don't know if this is Jim Thornton. Sounds a heck of a lot like him. There's actually audio clips on here that I'm probably not gonna play because I admit that might be a step too far for us legally, but there are audio clips in that little sub-stack thing that talks about it is Jim Thornton obviously, because he's a announcer. He's a professional speaker into a microphone that has a bombastic voice and you hear him talk. It's pretty distinct. He does interviews with other pedophiles on Boy Moment, which he has been an admin of. Little Nicky's been an admin of this whole time, right? And so he did interviews with pedophiles all commiserating about how difficult their life is. And it's all just them just talking about, like, "Nobody gets us. Nobody wants to understand the true romance of harnessing the love and eroticism of a little tight boy." God. God damn it. He says that people brought kids to work he was sizing up. Yeah, I know. That's the other thing. He said that people were bringing and the contestants brought their kids and he was turned on by the kids. You know, when it comes down to it, I hope they cancel the whole fucking show. Honestly, we don't need it. We don't need it. I think we can move on. It really is. Honestly, it's not even a fortune. I don't even really care. No one's really making more than a couple grand. So I get most 200 grand. You lose a lot of that to taxes. A lot of it, you got to wait for it. A lot of people who've been on game shows is actually a huge pain in the ass with the prizes and stuff. So just so you know, again, all of this alleged. He hasn't been arrested for these crimes. We don't know if he has anything. We don't have access to anything. It's just seeming like he was super, super, super confident and very, he loved being a pedophile. And I think that that's really nice in a way that he could love himself and he didn't experience any of that guilt. I have an idea. I have a plan. I have an idea. Jim Thornton, gone. He's out. Fuck it. The new announcer, they haven't really, I can't find out the name of the new announcer. No, man, maybe he's hiding. Maybe he's laying low. But a lot of people don't like it. A lot of people claiming it's AI. A lot of people saying it's not good. It's got no personality. It's got no depth. Where's Jim Thornton? Are you ready for this pitch? I want to make an audio. I'll produce this. You don't have to do this. Okay, okay. I want to make an audio audition for Holden McNeely to be the new announcer for Wheel of Fortune. We should do this. Yeah, I think we should just like. We'll do this. It's on the show. We should do this. Let's get it ready for next week. I love this. And let's get Holden. We will set him up an example of scripts that he needs to read. Yeah, yeah, like about vacations and, you know. The prizes. Yeah, yeah, prizes and stuff like that. And then little short bios of contestants. Yeah, yeah, I think this is a really good idea. I want to see what Holden can bring to the table. He has a booming voice. He does. The one thing he has is a booming voice. Yeah, it's a very distinct voice. Extremely distinct, you could almost say. I feel like Holden McNeely can be the one person who comes out on top from this whole situation. And wouldn't that be a miracle? Wouldn't that be a miracle? Just another little miracle that we can keep in your pocket. That's right. So let's, I mean, honestly, I think that we can. That's not a bad idea. We're doing this. We could off Holden on ABC. I think it's ABC. They can take him. Yeah. And then I can stop paying him. I mean, this could be amazing. So we're going to stuttering John him? Yeah. That's what this is. Yeah. This is stuttering John. What job does stuttering John get? He got the announcer for Jay Leno. This is a great idea. Yeah, this is stuttering John. This is just moving. This is a precedent. This is Howard Stern move. A precedent has been set. Yes. We're doing this. All right. We're going to get him on the show. I bet you it's AI. I bet you at some point they're like, we're not having another fucking pervert in here. No, fuck that shit. I don't care if it goes Cantonese. I don't care if the AI starts saying racist shit. All right. We already had a racist in here. It was Pat Sajak. All right. Whatever the AI is going to say, Pat Sajak is going to say fucking, he probably said 10 times worse. God knows what he said to Vanna. You know what I mean? God fucking knows what Pat Sajak said to Vanna. Of course they don't care if the AI announcer hallucinates. Oh man. The secrets that woman has. Oh, she knows. She just keeps those letters, turns them back. So we got, actually this is another update. Yeah. So I want to talk about this. This story is, God, I love a crying man. This is, for those of you that don't remember, we covered this in the very beginning, of when this first story first popped out. Caleb Flynn, former American Idol contestant. I guess he was in the very first season. You know, it's a weird thing because at this point there has to be 2 million former American Idol contestants. Some of them are going to have to kill. Some of them are going to kill somebody. We're really starting to see that come to the head now. And I like that because they also literally one out of a million. Well, I've already had, there's been two massive crimes. Attached to worst cooks in America. Interesting. That show. The winner of one murdered her baby. And they had to refit. Was it the food? No, Eddie. No, no, no, no. That's what my mom tried to do. In a long, long way. That was the long game. Yeah, long game. But no, no, she did just straight up kill the baby out of neglect. And then there was another crime. I forgot what the other crime was attached to top, to worst cooks, but it's kind of amazing. Yeah. But I think there's going to be more American Idol murderers. I hope so. There's too many of them. So, so Caleb Flynn, he has currently been arrested for murdering his wife. And while his two children were sleeping in the other room, he shot her two times in the head. And she, she would like this whole thing was because obviously he was very, very embarrassed about the affair that is being revealed in the trial. Of course, Caleb Flynn, when he, when all this happened, he sobbed and he was just like, my wife was shot. This is why I want to say straight up home invaders very rarely are going to kill you for the most part. They want your stuff for the most part. They're going to wait until you're gone, right? This is, this is Caleb Flynn singing. Hallelujah. Okay. So he made a whole thing that these assassins came into their home and shot his wife in the head while she was asleep. Because of course, she's a part of the, the cartels. But she was sent by Simon. Oh, what if she was sent by Simon Cowell? Now here, let's listen to Caleb, Caleb Flynn's angel-like voice. Just like a guy killed his wife. That's the type of fuck boy music. Fuck boy. Hallelujah. It's not supposed to sound like that. No, it's got to be all gruff. I hate that he keeps his face against the pop filter. I hate this guy. Because this thing, he's a pastor, right? Because now he's a pastor. So of course, all of this is like fuck boy for Christ energy. Yeah. That I can't stand. I hate hot boy for Christ. So now they're going through the texts over 100,000 texts between Caleb Flynn and his mistress. Yeah. Years long. They had this relationship. And would she secure this? These innocent, tones. This guy planned for over a year to murder his wife constantly talked about how he can't wait till she's gone they talked about how they were going to murder the wife they talked about when they were going to murder the wife how great it was going to be when he murders the wife what he was going to do after he murders the wife all these types of things and of course he's just saying that is john i was weak yeah even though i was weak i was a man of flesh because there's something about i was watching that the um the pastor's wife netflix special it's another example of like a crying pastor that murdered his wife trying to cover all this kind of shit up it's like he hasn't been charged at all it's like a whole thing she went she committed the wife went committed suicide by calling them the nine moon one saying you're gonna find my body out here but it doesn't really make any sense go watch that netflix stock series you okay it's on it's on our daddy stations to go watch them and we uh but there's something about congregations loving when their pastor has done something wrong yeah right like there's something like it's almost like the sick thing where like yeah everyone's like oh sure but like when the past there's like it's like a common trope and i want to know why side stories lpotl at gmail.com signs for the old days because i forgot what was the name there was a famous product the guy that was like i have sinned oh yeah well it makes them feel who's his name i don't know was that i forget i don't know any of these motherfuckers names who cares about that but there's something about the it's like yes they're all like naughty pastor we don't but they kind of love the idea that they get to then forgive the pastor of course and that they can then get have like power back in a way you know what i mean like there's something that he like there's something about that kind of it's like a sick circle because it helps them man because they're like it helps them feel like the things they do wrong or good and he just there's something about it they just love watching him just because his you know his oh uh jimmy swaggered oh jimmy swaggered oh he did it that was the idea of like him come jim baker jim baker it was jim baker who came out and did the thing where he said jim baker he was just i have sinned because he gave all that money i believe it was to jessica han there's a whole fraudsters about it yeah oh yes and so these guys are like it's just something about the they love this crying pastor but this guy is uh caught dead to rights he's crying all through he's crying all through trial he really is doing that hot girl thing the night before the murders he messaged his mistress i'm free i choose you i'm free actions will come tomorrow february 16th a day i'll never forget yeah i mean what are we even doing here what would you do to me i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't understand there's a conspiracy they're jealous of my voice they're jealous that i sing to god they're jealous i know jesus intimately yeah they have not found the gun they have not found the gun and but his nine millimeter gun is missing from the console in his car where he kept it and the console was open it was asleep in its bed something woke it up from its bed the invaders came they they first kidnapped my son's gun and then they used it on my sleeping wife why wouldn't they do it to you yeah you're the guy they're trying to get at him eddie that's what you understand they're enemies against christ oh is that one of this yeah it's people like us but see los angeles enbies broke into their house in ohio in ohio to murder his wife because they were jealous of her status of being able to marry a pastor yeah and the bullets match the gun that's missing yeah that's gonna be unfortunate but they're like his lawyers are saying that there's not they're trying to do the whole mess with the the mess with all the evidence chain so who knows juries are really fucking stupid these days so who fucking knows yeah oh my god i mean yes who knows obviously but this guy's caught dead that writes uh it seems like he's fucked forever and he should be because i mean why does a pastor need a gun to fight for god that doesn't know you have to shoot sinners in the head to save them it's like the pope in the fucking glass tube yeah he's saying really afraid for a guy who's just gonna go to heaven yeah like a guy who's gonna not only go to heaven but like the best part of heaven like you're gonna go to the fucking delta one lounge of heaven and you're so nervous about that dying that doesn't spell that doesn't sound great for the rest of us yeah the rest of us are fucked oh my god well right so what do we want to get into we have a lot of other stories i feel like this one we got to bring up even though there's no real answer to what's going on this is just to kind of stick our little flag in it and know that we are looking at this story it is getting there there is a it seems to be right now they are not saying it yet they're not saying it yet but there might be a serial killer in south africa that is there's a bunch there's a string of crimes that they're currently investigating this is all coming out of kempton yeah the kempton park area of joannesburg um there's been nine women um who have been found in the same manner um but also they're not only looking a bunch of people have been arrested there was one murder that guy was arrested he's in prison but then there was eight more murders after that yes and so they're also looking at the fact that it might be a group of people killing who knows who fucking knows but right now there's a string of unsolved murders in south africa that's a string of unsolved murders that's really all we know and so just like the rc horse story we're going to get to it yeah as it develops as it keeps developing all i know is the cops in joannesburg aren't the best i know that they from i went there granted this was 10 years ago but there were reports of them selling their uniforms to people so they can commit crimes selling the lights off of their cars so people could commit crimes um i don't have faith in this police department to solve this crime properly see what happens unfortunately uh but yeah they are uh i was told by a woman who lives in south africa that if a cop pulls her over as a woman they are taught to drive to the police station with the cop following them because so many people impersonate cops and commit sexual assault and harm people so it is a is a hard place to to go through all this so yeah most of them were young uh they suffered extreme violence yeah um there's a lot of women there'll be there's a big warning has been issued to women locally in the area um uh and it it's it's actually it's quite scary so who fucking knows what's going on yeah so uh if you're listening from south africa take your headphones out while you walk around according to al jazeera between 2020 and 2021 an average of 5.5 out of 100 000 women in south africa were killed by an intimate partner between january march of just this year yeah south african police recorded almost 10 000 reported rapes an average of over 100 per day it is um it is very there are billboards out there telling you not to rape it's uh it's it's a it's a hey at least they're getting the reminder what i think these guys really need honestly eddie well place posted note yeah that's what you need i think to really make sure you keep it on their forefront or maybe a little tattoo on the wrist that says don't rape so i hope that in south africa they um they have one of the higher rates of femicide in the world so i really hope they get their fucking act together so i hope so too eddie you are right um noah's ark i just need to bring this up i love uh fakery and chicanery as you all know you know i love it especially when it's got a religious flavor and i also just love it when people make stuff up and then they go do real world things about it i think it's really fun um and this is a story out of turkey no we're not talking about your favorite comedian's last hair transplant we are talking about noah's ark this place um they're looking for drilling they're starting to drill drill baby drill at what is not confirmed as noah's ark's final resting place in turkey so they're tearing apart some mountain some guy's an idiot so essentially yep this thing is called the duopinar formation so for a long time in i wanted to do a whole episode about this and i have a whole research thing done on this we haven't done it yet just because it was kind of dry i think when i was trying to do it it was like it wasn't the right time it wasn't the right vibe and so we might bring it back but i think it's going to be a good time to do it i think it's going to be a good but i'm really into the hunts for religious antiquities and all of the corruptions and stuff that go in with this because it's amazing it really is there's so many sordid tales of illegal archaeology and i think it's fascinating i feel like most archaeology if you really break it down it's probably illegal oh eddie don't please don't side stories lpotl at gmail.com tell me why archaeology is fine i i know it's fine it's largely fine i know it's like it's one of those much like a lot of fringe sciences i will say which we have found because there was some epstein money in archaeology because we talk about with jack horner i believed yeah like and stuff like that like money sciences that need direct grants like are subject to grifters of course so like these guys need money sometimes from outside sources in order to do their job as trained archaeologists and so they can so i do feel like there is a lot of opportunities for grifters to get involved yeah um as you know and people who just go to shovel hey you know just people who like to brush little months Marcus would have been a good archaeologist. I think he'd get too horny. You think so? I think you need to be more impartial. I think here's a good way to get to the bottom of this and really find out if that's true or not. Set him up with a little, like, fake dig? I think we should talk to Carolina. We will. And ask her about this. Yes, I think this is important. All right, folks. Stay tuned right now. We got a very special guest, Carolina Hidalgo, coming on No Dogs in Space is back, baby! No Dogs in Space. Woo! New York Dolls in the house! We're talking to Carolina Hidalgo right now. Stay tuned. Fly from your grave. Yeah. We were right next to it the entire fucking time. Oh, man. It was fascinating. You should read the CCRU collective writings if you can somehow get through this. I don't know if you can. I can do anything while doing my hair. Basically, this thing is. I can literally read anything. It is fully. Just so you know. Because this takes 35 minutes. What people don't understand. And it doesn't look like it does. Are we recording yet? Yeah, we're rolling. Okay. You know what? All I'll say is what people don't fully understand is that the problem with comedy today is actually. I'm not even joking. It's going back to the Lemurians. I don't even know what that means. Wait. Are these. That's the. Is it a lot of lemurs hanging out? Before we get into the stories. Are these light people? These are. Before we're going to get into stories, before we're going to talk about Carolina, we need to first acknowledge the fact that the guys that are currently talking to Joe Rogan believe that Lemurian Atlantean scientists. Created or helped to help serve an AI god from the future, and that they were talking to Atlantis. These are the guys in charge of open AI and open all these companies. This is what they actually believe in. That they are serving ancient sorcerer scientists that were contacted by a forever conscious future AI that is helping them perpetuate itself in the past. See, I've always been a Magnet of Zeros guy, and I didn't really like the Lumineers. Yeah, the boom-clap thing is really uncomfortable. It just. Like pearls before swine! How many rustic weddings do I have to go to? Carolina Haddog goes, "Good to have you." How are you doing? Hey, it's really good to see you guys. Congrats on no dogs! I know! Thank you so much. It's so nice birthing a podcast. Yes. It is nice to have it out there, and I really appreciate it. And Ed, you're wearing the shirt I got you for your birthday, thank you. I did! I did! I'm wearing it. Very signaling. I'm wearing my gift that I got from the record shop. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing it. I'm wearing it. Thank you. Thank you. story that's now closed. That's a vape shop now. Last time it was in Tallahassee. Now it's just a giant vape shop. But it's amazing that you got that shirt. It makes me happy. Two versions she got me. I got a black one too. Yeah, well, because I don't know what you're in the mood for. What we used to do is we used to steal DVDs at a border, so we used to sell them back there. Oh, no way. I should have done that the old way. I'm sorry. What do you got, though? I just bought it on eBay. Man, I got. These people, Vinyl Fever, shout out. Long dead Vinyl Fever in Tallahassee. Yeah, it's not there anymore. You can't even shout them out. Yeah, but they taught me a lot about music. They're not dead. There's not there. Alright, here we go. Some of them could be dead. Okay, yeah, that's fair. Florida. First of all, No Dogs in Space, the New York Dolls, where are we at with Buster Poindexter? Yes. That is episode coda. That means episode six. That means that's, I mean, technically the worst Hellraiser, but the best No Dogs in Space episode because we're going to do a five-part series on the New York Dolls, and then the sixth part will be our coda episode, which is all their careers afterwards. And we're going to get into that. I still feel like, yeah, sure, New York Dolls, blah, blah, blah. Buster Poindexter. And that's what we're going to get into. Car 54, where are you? I want a whole episode on Car 54, where are you? You are nobody. You guys are nobody and nothing if you don't cover Car 54, where are you? Can we do a movie stories of just David Johansson? Oh, you already. Scrooge is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's a great performance. Oh, it's so good. I'm not even joking. Scrooge is in my top 20 films. I agree. I love that movie. I'm with you 100%. It's certainly going to get knocked off when Ebenezer shows up. Before he was Scrooge. No! Before he was Scrooge, he was Ebenezer. Are they going to kill his parents outside of movie theaters? I think they are going to do the thing where, yeah, it's a retcon, and then he gets, and then Jimmy Cratchit becomes his Robin. I didn't realize that Christian Bale is such a good Batman because he's also an orphan. Whoa! I didn't know that. Did he kill his parents to become Batman? Maybe. Cool. Yeah, Christian Bale's an orphan, and he recently built a giant foster community for a bunch of kids to make sure their siblings aren't broken up. Isn't that nice? That's fantastic. I didn't know he was a real-life orphan because I remember in his movie. Sounds like a child's story. In his big movie, he was an orphan. Yes. Remember The Empire of the Sun? Yeah. Oh, yeah! Did he go meth it? I mean, like, what happened? That was his first movie. He might have killed his own parents or maybe he just never experienced joy. He is a newsie. He is. Oh, really? He's got all of his movies about boys that never had parents. Patrick Bateman, we're his parents. Maybe he'd be a better man if he was parented better. You're right. Well, we want to talk to Carolina first about digging. That's what I'm here for. I'm sorry. The reason why we decided to bring this up to you, because obviously, and this is not all always like. It doesn't have to always be about fucking Marcus. Because, you know, part of the show here is that, like, Marcus ain't here. Yeah. Oh, he's upstairs, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't hear what happens. Give it up for Marcus. He doesn't hear what happens in here. He doesn't care what happens in here. It's soundproof. It's soundproof. Yeah, he doesn't know. Marcus! Marcus! Fuck you, Marcus! Nothing. Fuck you! He ain't coming. He doesn't know what we do here, alright? We're in charge here, alright? Because he can't correct us in here. Sitting here, we get to be in full Lords of the Manor. I don't know why you think this is better. What would you like to be wrong about? This is the place. This is the place. You can be completely incorrect. That's the goal. We stay in it. We sit in it. Okay. I can't wait for the next 29 minutes. Yeah! You're gonna love all the things we throw on ya. So, this story is about digging, and I think it's good to kind of just bring it up, because obviously Marcus is like, blah, blah, blah. But they think that this is, you know, it's also good about religion. So, what I love about this story is, like, I love grifters within the world of antiquities. Like, I think it's awesome. And so, right now, they are currently doing this, uh, it's what's called Noah's Ark Scans, is the name of the company. And they are, so there's this area in Turkey, called the Deripinar Formation, which looks like a vagina. Right? It looks like a big hole. It looks like this thing. It is vaguely boat-shaped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right? If you look at it from the top. I can see where the clitoris stands. Yeah, the clitoris of the boat is, where the butthole of the boat is. You can see it. There's three holes. So, some dude saw this. Where the pee-pee goes. Can I show you? Okay, you show me. Show me on the boat where the pee-pee comes from. It's near the top. So, some jerk-off saw this, and he was like, this is it. Well, this was a long time ago. So, wait, wait, he found the vagina? He found the vagina. So, it was discovered in 1959. Okay, gotcha. And a Turkey-Armish captain, he captured it in an aerial photo while they were mapping the area out. Now, a lot of guys immediately said like, oh my god, that's some kind of boat. And this is Bible country. Right? What's the biggest thing in all of Bible? That big-ass boat. I mean, there's that, we could debate that. But the first, in Bible 1, the big thing is the boat. The first Bible movie. You think so? More than the one is the Jericho? What about the balls of Jericho? The first day was pretty big. Yeah. The light! But all that wasn't big. The sun! The sun's bigger! Oh, that's all Gary Gerkel. So, what they're trying to do here is, this is the actual historical beginnings of the Bible. Everybody's desperate to prove the Bible to be concrete real. And yes, there is, the Bible is a, it is a historical document. Yes, it's Trope City. Yes, it is a wonderful book of listens and poetry. And it does have historical information in it. But it is not, I would say, it's meant for interpretation. Right? And so, I don't think it's really a direct map. It went through a lot of, yes, I actually know this. I read the Bible. In college. Yes, it went through four major editors, just only the Old Testament alone. Yeah, Bible 1. And this is all written hand by hand, so sometimes they would just like, kind of change a thing or two, or you know, make a male to a female. Yeah, whatever your flavor is. Yeah, exactly. They would switch it up all the time. So, the Old Testament, is that more of like the original story or the prequel? How do we look at things? Okay, so yes, the Old Testament is totally the original story prequel. Yes. I think I figured that out. The New Testament was the revamp, Jesus is actually nice. See, I thought, I always looked at the New Testament as the sequel to the Bible. Okay. Because the Old Testament was the old version of the Jewish, like, the old version of the stories. But the Catholics believe in it? Of course they do, because we'll fucking believe anything. It's a lot of stories about how things beget things. Yes. And a lot of things kill things. It's a very, very boring story, unfortunately. And then the New Testament is Jesus' story. Yes. Ostensibly. When he's just fucking and sucking his way across. Yeah, fucking and sucking and fishing and dipping, all this stuff. of slinging wine, bartending and cooking. He was honestly the first ever service industry like guy. Like he's like the line cook you fuck. Oh, gotcha. The original line cook you fuck. He loves fishes and loaves. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wish he liked some condiments like tartar sauce or something. So this is, for a while when these guys saw the boat shape for Nation, there's a lot of people showed up like that's those are. We're good. That's it. We found it. And many scientists said, no, it's not. It is a natural formation in the limestone and still people to this day keep showing up. But every generation show up and be like, no, we're going to excavate it. This is it. It's right here. And every single time everyone's like, no, it's not. It's just it's a randomly shaped, vaguely boat shape formation. It's an oval mountain. It is an oval hole. Gotcha. And what about Mount Ararat? Remember, that was very important. Yeah, I mean, right now it's like right next to it. It's right next to it. So we were off by a mountain. It is not real. Oh, not a bit of it. It's real. Yeah. Mount Ararat is in Turkey. It is. Yeah. Yes. So members of the Nozark Scan Sepulchration believe that you were in part it's located in eastern Turkey near Mount Ararat could mark the final resting place of the vessel described in Genesis. And so this new lady has taken upon herself because it takes away lady to take upon herself to say, no, it's actually the ark. And we're doing something about it. Lauren Witsky, Christian activist, is now currently drilling into the side of this thing because they believe they have new scans. She's a full-on flat earther. Oh, what? Which doesn't really work with the flood story, which is kind of hilarious. I guess it does. Maybe it does. What makes one a Christian activist? How do you have to activize Christian? That means she doesn't like me. You mean you got to make your life. You got to make other people's life. So they say now the site has been probed with ground penetrating radar, this time by this new group, Noah's Ark Scans Expedition, which claims that its map would look like corridors and chambers under the surface, including one hallway that runs more than 250 feet. I would say when I look at the picture that it looks like a bunch of blips and bloops. Yes. Oh, yeah. Look at the one with all the colors on it, Rob. There's like one in this article here. Yeah, that's all the blips and bloops that are saying is some form of tunnel and not all of these things. Right. Which I I think that's fucking stupid. You know, but if this person is going to spend a bunch of money to just go look in a mountain, what the fuck do we care? I mean, you could spend it on children. Yeah. And you are destroying the land for no reason. Yes. So they said the project they did a fundraiser. So this is for them to make money. So they've already made six hundred grand in order to rent all this and change and it's so far like apparently they only have a little chunk of it, but they're just drill baby drilling anyway. So they have a driller out there. This very smarmy looking evil woman that God doesn't love is currently drilling into the formation for six hundred thousand dollars for six hundred thousand dollars. It goes a lot further over there. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it goes about ten feet deep and they're just drilling. Just got one that got one guy with the drill. That's it. Yeah. He's like, yeah, sure. I'm fucking drilling a mountain for I don't know if there's a lot of regulation in Turkey, you know, because of how many times they just do the whole like you go there to get your like teeth made into metal and you go there to get your hair fucking turned around. Well, they had to deal with a horrible, terrible earthquake recently and they're under a dictatorship like we're used to. Yeah. Yeah. So that means it's bad regulation. I mean, the earthquake should have wiggled it free. If the earthquake was going to do anything, if God was real, he would send an earthquake to knock the ark out and he would put it exactly in Las Vegas right where Planet Hollywood is sitting. If God was real, he'd show up, he'd levitate the boat out, take it to Vegas. He would make Elvis come back to life. Elvis would be performing on top of the ark at the sphere. All right. And that shows that God isn't real. That's the thing. I would say there is a God if I saw that. That's the only way I believe. That's like zero. God in a clipper's jersey levitating like literally because he's choosing the downtrodden. Yeah. Well, if this is all right. All right. Hypothetically, this woman, she digs into there. She finds the ark. She finds the dinosaur bones that Noah grabbed the dinosaurs. He put them on the boat. No, he swam on top of the dinosaurs. I thought the dinosaurs were late because Lady Dinosaur had to put on more makeup. That's right. That's a comic strip book I read. Oh, that's fun. I know it's horrible. It's absolutely terrible. Terrible. I can't believe they made me read that shit as a child. But yes, apparently dinosaurs did not survive the ark, the flood. Yeah, I don't think because they were so slow. Is that it? Is that they were just slow and they got taken up by the weather? I think it was an asteroid. The swimming dinosaurs were probably fine. Where are they then? Swimming. They're in Montana. Oh. Oh, yeah. They're sharks. Oh, yeah. That's a cave. That's a ghost. That's a ghost. So she finds a boat in here. Do people start believing in God? If there is a boat in the mountain. It's a hypothetical. Good point. This is my question. How in the living fuck this thousands of years later that we even know it's a boat if it's already rock? Yeah, that's a good point. Wouldn't we know that that's the boat? If we just took a chunk off of that fucking rock, wouldn't we know that's a boat? I feel like you'd have to. Right? It's boat shaped. I don't think they need to drill into it to know if it's a boat or not. Yeah, we just scraped the side of it. I just, we were at the British Museum. They just had a whole they had a whole boat that they found. Oh, yeah? That they think is Noah's Ark? No. From another book? A movie? Franchise? They have the biggest discovery of Viking of Viking tools and stuff that ever existed because a lot of their stuff was made in perishable things. And they found a submerged boat that they managed to save. But it's just because they got the boat and they found, it's like, the biggest treasure trove of Viking historical knowledge ever out of a single of like archaeological event. So it's like finding boats is not unheard of. Yeah. They would find a boat and they would know it's a boat and they'd say it's a boat. And then they dig it up. And it's very obviously a boat. And didn't become a bunch of rocks. Yeah. It was a boat. And it was as old as any of this stuff. So you'd find the boat. The boat be there. But also probably not because guess what the boat is? Wood. Oh. Okay. So it's done. Boat's wood and it would fall apart right up to a certain point. The reason why that boat was found is because it was submerged in the water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the boat would be gone completely. The boat would be gone. The wood would have decomposed by now. It's all over. Yeah. There is no Noah's Ark. It's not real. What is she doing? I found a baseball. Nothing. She's wasting everybody's money. It's time. Look at her. She just wants to go to Turkey for some reason. I found a baseball bat. Actually, there's a good reason to go to Turkey. Buried in my backyard. Beginning of civilization. Anyway, good to know. Have you ever been to Turkey? No. Yeah. No. She's traveled. Carolina's traveled quite a bit. Yeah. No. My parents. Oh, actually, when I was little. But my parents just came back from there. And they're like, it is Catalina. It is the cradle of civilization. People love Turkey. That's where it all began. Yeah. People love Turkey. And you go there. But it's like, how's the how's the food? I don't know. I did not ask. I'm a fan. It's sleepy. You asked nothing. I was like, my parents are in their 70s. I just wanted to make sure they came home safe. You didn't find out where they balled at? Ball? Like, what do you mean balled? Where'd they go? Where was their sexy trip for them? Where'd they drop their cash? Oh, oh, oh. Okay. They did like one of those tour things. Like when you tour with other people. You know, and they take you around to a bunch of places. And it's like more like an international tour. Cool. Kind of thing. Because, you know, they're Hispanic. You know, my mom's Colombian. My dad's Peruvian. So it has to have some Spanish stuff to it. Oh, interesting. Interesting. Oh, so they had like somebody like walking them through. That's cool. And this thing and that thing and the other thing. How were the hotels? I have no idea. The whole time I was like, when are you going to get home? Are you safe? I don't know why. I just freaked out over that. No, you know, you're worried. Yeah, my mom's like, they're so far away. Don't be that freaked out because the inheritance then comes one step closer. Yeah, but I. Yeah. You were acting like a parent. I guess I have to go to Turkey after that. You'll get them out of there. I just like, I'm being a hater because I think it's funny. Isn't that funny? There we go. I'll be a hater against Texas because they got two different daycares out there that are running into some fucking sticky situations. So I want to, so Carolina, you have ran groups of children before. Yes. Can you please elaborate a little bit more? What does that mean? Pickpocketing groups. Have you seen Slumdog Millions? Yeah, that is kind of what you've worked on. You have trained boy criminals to shimmy up pipes, break into old apartments, steal bronze. Former chimney sweep Carolina Hidalgo. It is not an easy job. No, you coach soccer. Yes, I coach soccer for almost 11 years and I worked with children. I know every kind of child from year 2 to 13 years old. Special needs, you know, all kinds of socioeconomic backgrounds. Every kind of kid you could ever and still there are parents who are like, you don't know kids. i'm like that's fine i i get it because i don't have kids that's fair well you don't have to be in there all the time like listening to me hooling and shit and pissing yeah no i i get it but you know what the thing is i know parents yes and they are tough people i think parents are some of the worst people to ever exist well i mean i'm sure some of them are sure yeah i'm just saying that when i know that just from the the way they park around my house to get to the middle school and the elementary school and i said i love i love families because they keep the price of my house up but i hate the way that parents act you know i mean i don't like how they act around their children right because they're they're insane that's that's a very around their children actually oddly progressive thought of yours that is my main progressive thought um but this is a story that like it's hard because i also like but i also don't agree with taking it out on kids like i like kids yeah i don't like parents yeah and so this is a story just like jim thornton that's the wheel of fortune announcer who got busted for being an admin in a bunch of pedophile oh yeah oh no we went deep that goes deeper carolina why why sit in an airplane and do that oh it's i'm saying he's all i'm saying carolina throw he was a full-on admin that has been doing this for like 10 years he said he accidentally clicked on it he did fucking idiot because he accidentally i guess meant to go to the other one where there's actual c-sam on it yeah so he was wrong he was just you know what you know what i'll say carolina honestly idle hands i i really idle hands he should have had more to do that job was too boring he should have done something else just be an announcer you have to be like the key grip if you're just an announcer like literally he didn't even write it what else have you done yeah what else are you doing what are you doing what are you doing because you should be doing nine other things or you should be so busy with charity work you should be so filled with charity work yeah he should be like i gotta get out early today there's an auction at sotheby's i gotta go i gotta go do announce i gotta do these things that should be your whole life because you have got the golden ticket on the easiest job on the face of the planet i bet this guy couldn't even fucking do a horse race i already did this today i've already yelled about this today so let's get back to this i'm glad you did it for me so there are two different incidents in texas yes in daycares that are this week alone this week alone where the first one was in fort worth this is the bigger one it seems like at the arca montessori academy in risinger i think it's kind of interesting that it was at a montessori school when that's like supposed to be better that's like the liberal nice school right i have no idea because but i think montessori school where like the cards like the paper doesn't have edges i know cena wanted his kids at a montessori school so i imagine that's better yeah yeah no it kind of depends you know what it's kind of like a uh i don't know like a del taco right like there's some in some good parts of town and some montessoris that don't have good del tacos it's gonna be like a bad montessori yeah yeah it's very franchised this one's definitely bad in certain ways this one's bad because they were making the four-year-olds fight each other in like a in like a ramshackle fight club sort of situation and they were making the four-year-olds fight each other this is my question right so i don't think it was organized enough though yeah if it was no money changing hands i don't think if it was more organized would that be okay no no no no no if they got the parents involved and they and there was about fighting training if there was like a an ambulance on hand that might be nice i guess just a school nurse so would you like grab yeah because the thing is they hurt the workers hurt the children which is really sad right they made the children hurt each other kind of deal now we don't know why right or was it like a whole like punishment thing that she was trying to get them to do to each other i mean we can hypothetical the shit out of this but the fact is they had two kids fight each other on purpose in front of them and it's on camera so you're saying that there's no you're trying to say that there's no reason that would work in this scenario i would say if you want to give them a nice a nice way of doing this you could say that they were trying to teach the kids to stick up for each other but even that is a bad thing how about that i'm gonna agree i'm gonna be the tiebreaker here because it is very true i saw that video and like even when i saw it i was like it's not as bad as they frame it to be but it is still very very bad well it's the fight club that's the bad part i think but the thing is i like is it really a true fight club or is that a headline like it's not a true fight club yeah like i didn't see any banners or text messages well there shouldn't be spam the emails about it yeah don't you understand the first rule of a fucking fight club what's the second rule i don't actually don't know i never got to the first rule yeah the first rule of a fight club you don't talk about fight club oh yeah yeah so they can't why do you trust a three-year-old with that because three-year-olds can barely speak no so it's actually a perfect one yeah but who believes a three-year-old unless they're saying awesome well these are four-year-olds and the uh they can really speak yeah but they they knew that this had been going on great then they're ready for jim thornton yeah honestly this might be a good job it's actually now that i'm thinking about it you might want to teach these four-year-olds to fight just in case they have to fight a wheel of fortune announcer away from them well that's what i'm gonna tell you right now i don't like someone who worked with kids for over 11 years and all that stuff i i i would never have children fight each other ever but as i said the parents i would totally have a parent fight a child but no not just one child a fucking army a pyramid of children well can i ask you straight up from the amount of how old were the kids you were with oh uh they started from two to like 11 sometimes 12 years old can i honestly ask you how big of a group of them do you think you could take like at one point yeah like at what point do you believe it's not a fighter no i don't know i am totally throw all of the throw it all out like it's you they have been infected with a virus that makes them aggressive really just let's just throw all the logic out the window but you have to fight all the kids what is the most amount of these kids you think you could fight can i ask one more question about this hypothetical situation i haven't answered that are these kids zombies are you worried about if one bites you you will die because that changes the way you think about it i don't know i don't know i would say let's just say okay you can't get a communicable disease from them you can't get the disease from them but you but you can kill them legally because they're some kind of they've changed okay they're not themselves anymore you can kill them yeah all right this is easy this is very easy it's what i would do in my job anyways they come running at you you you you tap like not really tap but you put your your hand on the top of their head you kind of turn them a little bit and they run the other way seriously that's what you can do with any child really that's how you get them from collision to collision to collision to collision to collision to collision to collision to collision that's how you get them from hitting heads together and you get this like sixth sense this like matrix kind of like i am the one kind of bullshit thing where you know when things are about to happen when you work with kids you know seconds away so that means i don't have to fight a single kid in a zombie apocalypse all i have to do is just turn them around and be like uh what's the announcer's name jim jim thornton there he is yeah i'm so glad to see all of you coming here you're gonna help me excellent there's nothing i love more than being consumed alive by a group of four-year-old children i've always wanted to be in the tummy of a little boy now i'm in their tummy oh i'm swimming around inside the intestines of a little boy why did rob give him a mic i was born with a microphone inside of my mouth this is what i do it's my only skill yeah so you can just redirect a child yes exactly redirect see i would never think of that i would just punch them well that you know that could only help so much and then you're gonna get tired and then you're gonna feel bad and that's why i was asking you how much you really i think the only reason i was really asking is because you know from experience the energy level of these kids and if you think that you could actually could you think that you could make your way through a dozen children totally you just you know move them you move them by their shoulders by their heads by their necks you move them away it is so easy a kid will be like okay yeah this way it's good see i think i'd grab the microphone and i'd be like okay yeah this way it's good see i think i'd grab the microphone and i'd be like okay yeah this way it's good see i think i'd grab the microphone and i'd be like okay yeah this way it's good see i think i'd grab the biggest kid and kill them in front of all of them uh-huh just so that they know to maybe it would discourage them or i'd take the smallest hostage which is best teddy i think you kill an adult in front of them that's the best kids have no respect though but they do fear yeah but i feel like if they saw an adult get murdered they'd be like yay kill the adult yeah but then you're like oh i like these kids yeah it's a problem now i'm on their side now i'm their leader yeah out of nowhere this is actually a great turn of events i actually don't mind this yeah now release release i just send them to places just go to various parts of the country it's release yeah do you have a weapon you would use against children uh weed whacker weed whacker also i think it works nunchucks nunchucks i say shovel a good can i get out of this episode yeah i would want to how do i do that it's the idea of like if i'm hitting kids i want to be able to hit multiple at a time big long stick well either way hit him with a car like you do this you know when you're doing circles in the car you can do a lot of those kind of things well the montessori school has not um uh responded for comments they're about to be a kentucky fried chicken in a minute are you kidding me and then fights they are normal Honestly, then it's fine, as long as it's a Whataburger. Or your local McDonald's, by the way. The other daycare, this woman is facing up to 10 years in prison for making one child bite another child's arm. Now, we don't know why, though. Again, I really want to see. She held the arm and then held the head, made the child bite the arm. The child's like, I don't want to bite the arm. Bite the arm. I don't want to bite the arm. She made him bite the arm. It's all on camera. Really? Yeah. I wonder what the reasoning was. Seems like she just wanted to punish the child and didn't want to hit her herself. Interesting. That's my theory. It was a theory that I had. So she tried to use. She tried to weapons this. Yes, that's what I think happened in this situation. She thinks she's weapons. That's kind. I honestly think that that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. Have the kids fight. Again, again. That fixes the whole thing. Have the kids fight the other kids. Have them all police each other. Yeah, that's what she was trying to do. It did not work. She's getting 10 years. Oh, yeah, I know. It said, in the footage, it's alleged that Garrett took one child's right arm and put her own hand on the back of the other girl's head. Police claim that she physically manipulated the girl's head by forcing it down while raising the other child's arm into her mouth. So she was doing. She did the whole thing. It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work. It is a lot of work. But it is still hitting. She's hitting two kids when she was just trying to make one happen. You see, you got to put a bunch of. You got to put soap in a sock. 10 years is actually. I'm going to say it. 10 years. 10 years is actually pretty steep for someone like that. That's a wild amount of time. I mean, like, none of them on the list are in jail. I think it's for child endangerment. I also. Child endangerment can get you a pretty stern sentence, technically. Well, hey, I worked with kids for 11 years, especially in Central Park, Prospect Park. I have never once lost a kid for more than a minute. Well, those are good New York kids. I think New York kids don't get lost. I think that if you brought a fucking, like, a Madison, Wisconsin kid out there, you'd lose one. I think a New York kid knows what's going on. A little bit more. They're a little bit more aware. I found them, and just quickly, I was like, I'm sorry. I don't know anybody. I'm sorry. Give me back in. Yeah, I don't remember. No, no, no. It was 2011. No one cares. Well, I understand, Carolinus. Why didn't you just use the standard muster runaway? I, I, I, you know what? Just, or grab another kid that looks like him. Yes, I know. Oh, you know these runaways? Because it's like, you got to get used to saying that. Well, you know these runaways. You know how they are. They're always packing a bindle. These four-year-olds are always on their way out. They love the open road. I think, actually, we should be taught in schools how to make a bindle. You never know. You never know when you're going to hit the road and get out of there. You have to be molested by a homeless man in order to learn a gag's abilities. I'm saying second grade. How do you make a bindle? Bindle weave. It's a handkerchief. You need a stick and a handkerchief and a lot of cool things. What you do is you put stuff inside the handkerchief and then you tie it around the stick. Yeah, and you hit the road. Yeah, kids love the road. But what do you put in there? Whatever you need. Bullets. I imagine kids would be like toys. An apple core. Micromachines. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Some fruit snacks and, yeah, a Red Bull. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ecto-cooler. Okay, Ecto-cooler. Yeah. You can still get Ecto-cooler now. I know. That's why I said it. You can buy it off of eBay. Yeah, Ecto-cooler's still popular. I don't think it's popular, but it still exists. Crystal Pepsi. And it'd be like, which way to the nearest Montessori? And I always kind of put go in the bindle is kind of what goes with what I steal in Baldur's Gate 3, where it's a lot of, like, cheeses, hard sausages. That's what I'd put in a bindle. I don't want to hear about Baldur's Gate 3. I know Carolina doesn't. Oh. I love my Baldur's Cafe. Well, you watch Marcus play video games. I'm a watcher. I'm actually one of those watchers where I go, like, it's been a while since you played video games. Because I like comment. I like doing the commentary on it. Oh, really? No, no, I enjoy it all the time. Natalie, watch me play. All the time. Elden Ring, Dark Souls 3 is constantly, like, he's, like, supposedly the hero in the story, right? He's killing everybody. And I'm like, are you going into someone's house? And he's like, yeah, they're demons, but you're going into the demon house. And he's like, yeah, and you're killing them while they're just standing there? He's like, yeah. And I was like, and you're the good guy? This all helps the game. You know why I like watching people play video games? I remember when I used to watch everyone play, like, Mario Kart and Halo and GoldenEye all night. You know what's great about watching all that shit is they don't pay attention when the blunt's going around. I can take extra hits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, like, more stoned than everybody. So they're playing this stupid fucking game. I'm fucking out there stealing all the weed. Yeah, it's honestly really smart. That's really, really smart. Thank you. I spent a whole summer playing GoldenEye. Oh, no odd job, no map, and I'll play against you any time. Really? God, it's been a while. Yeah. It's been a fucking long time. But yeah, Natalie was a little disappointed because she saw me on a date in BG3. Oh, really? She saw me had a lot of sex. Oh, really? Because I'm not having sex with Karlak. You're doing that right there in your own living room? It's a video game. We're open only for Baldur's Gate. Yeah. We have an open marriage for me to date Laizel. Is she okay with this? She is not. She says she is. But I do see a little anger. You know, like, she is okay with it. She knows it's not real. Yeah. But she also is just like, why are you saying such nice things to that woman? You know, that's a good point. That is the thing, yeah. You should call her a whore and a homewrecker and tell her to get the fuck away from me. Or instead, maybe, okay, that's another way to go about it. Call her a fucking homewrecker and get out of here. Get out of here. Trying to destroy my house. But that's how you lose the game. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. No, I'm trying to see those tits in the game. You can also just be like, I'm going to treat my queen like a queen. I do. No, no. Of course you do. You definitely do. And then I'm going to treat my video game queen like a queen. And in that way, they never shall cross paths. They will never be jealous. You know what I always feel guilty about? When I'm sitting there and I like my cute dog videos on YouTube and sometimes I watch them on the TV and I'm watching cute dog videos. Sometimes it's an hour goes by and the whole time there's Harley sitting next to me. I'm just ignoring her. You know, I feel like that's kind of like watching porn in front of your wife. I do. Get away. Is she watching it with you though? I don't think so. No. Usually whenever I look, she's staring at me like, why aren't you petting me? But it should be kind of like porn where it gets you like pet horny. It does. Oh, good point. So then you can build up all your pet horniness and you can really pet the living fucking shit out of Harley. I really do. I play her like she's a fucking ukulele. As he should. What else is coming up on this season of No Dogs Carolina? Oh, man. Okay. So, Link Wray. We're going to talk about Link Wray for a little bit. Cool! Have you heard of The Rumble? Nope. No. Okay. Have you ever seen a Quentin Tarantino movie? Yes. Yes. There's loads of songs just like that. Dun, dun, dun. I can't do it right. Bwam, bwam, bwam. Rob's got it. Rob's got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's all like surf rock. It's got a bit of surf rock to it. To it, actually. It definitely does. Bwam, bwam, bwam. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah, it's like rockabilly atmosphere music. You know, this is the part where Steve Buscemi goes and bam, they get out of the bathroom. And he pees all over his face and he's just laughing. Yeah, this is from Desperado. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I like the Link Wray self-titled album. Yes. From 71. That's very chill. I like that album a lot. It's fantastic. No, he does, like his stuff, especially his Americana stuff because he is a, you know, of indigenous heritage. Oh, interesting. And so he decided to get back to like the old Americana, just kind of be proud of his indigenous, because when he was a kid, he would have to always pass this white during like, you know, the olden days. Oh, I bet. And then he could finally be himself at some point. Exactly. And dress like, kind of like a bit of a Roy Orbison Elvis guy. Yeah, it's like he's Roy Orbison but Native American. Yes, exactly. And he's fantastic as a musician. So we're going to totally. 27 is like one of my favorites. Yes. That song's good as fuck. I knew you'd love that. Oh, man. Well, we're going to play that sometime soon. I hope. Yeah. No, we're going to talk about that. X-Ray Specs. We're going to talk about Jane County, the first trans punk star of all time. Probably the best one. Wow. As of yet, you know, and we're going to really get into that. So we're going to go really crazy this year. And then next year, we're going to go into like more established bands. Like The Clash and Black Flag and stuff like that. Yeah, that's what we were talking about, which I'm really excited for. And I'm really excited for this New York Dolls story. And I'm so glad that you guys are back. Yeah, no, thank you. And thank Rob, too. Because Rob is really like the other guy. Yeah, he's working his fucking ass off. Rob and Patrick Fisher, they really do so much like to make everything so much better. And they make our show presentable in a way that I make it kind of like I just, you know, I'm telling the stupid story, but he makes it so good. So I want everyone to check it out. Exactly. Thank you so much. Nice. It's very, very nice. Rob, get back to work. Yeah. You ever hear of Jackie Shane? No. Who's Jackie Shane? Jackie Shane is like an R&B trans performer from back in the day. That was like one of the first like really like amazing trans performers. I have heard of Jackie Shane. Have you listened to her music? Yes. Great version of Money. One of my favorite versions of Money you'll ever hear. Money gets you what you want. But they have an amazing story. I totally get into that shit. Oh, interesting. Oh, nice. I like it. Yeah. They're from the 60s. Good for them. Yeah. You had to be trans in the 60s meant you had to be tough as fucking nails. Yes. Trans and black. Yep. Yes. And a lot of times. That's what people don't talk about with the trans communities, how fucking tough you have to be. Well, that's why they're so badass. Yes. A lot of drag queens, a lot of trans people. How physically difficult it is. They have to be super tough because what they used to do to help each other, like rile each other up back in the 60s and 70s is that they would do a lot of things. the thing called like freaking or freaking someone out, which is where they would go out in public and just be like, I'm a woman like any like Jim Carrey yelling like I'm Jim Carrey kind of thing. Yeah. And they would try to like make people feel uncomfortable just so they can like go back to their friends and be like, look at like totally like freaking squares. Yeah. It's like a regular like kind of prank, but like it brings them back and it brings them closer to their friends. And it also shows like, hey, these people are freaking out over me wearing a fucking wig. Well, that's why that scene in Pink Flamingos, I think, is one of the most powerful scenes I've seen about that in that. It's so funny because in that that one moment when Divine is walking down the street and he is filming like he's filming from a car across the street and it is all like captured on film, like people reacting to Divine just walking down the street. Oh, that was like real? Yeah. That's all. None of it's staged. Those are real. Yeah. No, those are people like cartoons, like only like mouths agape, just staring at people. And that's just the power, the power of transgressive like living and what they in a positive way that they were doing as a way to show like, fuck all y'all. I'm going to live like this, even though Divine was not trans. No, they were not. But they love dressed and dressing in women's clothing, like just like Ed Wood. And that's fine. Like, I mean, I understand why it might call attention and everything like that. But just to look at someone like they're weird. Let me tell you an experience I had with Marcus recently. I love it. Minnesota Airport. We were at MLP. MSP. MSP. MSP. Yeah. Thank you. I'm on it. Yeah. He goes there every fucking weekend. I like it because of the print store. Go ahead. No, I love it. Big fans. Big fans. Frank and Trace, you guys. So we're standing there like trying to put in our luggage with these like, you know, the Delta people. And then they all like their jaws like just drop and they just start staring and they're just like freaking out. And it's not me and Marcus, but like the person that walks behind us and down the hall and they just can't help it. They're like. Like, seriously, like freaking out. And it's the the two women who are conjoined twins who have heads. Yes. And because they're from Minnesota and they were just walking down. And these are people who just. True celebs. From from. I'm going to say I'm from a third world country. They're from third world country. So they're like, what the fuck was that? I will say it's fast. It is. It would be fascinating. Yes, it is fascinating. But they're like normal people. Yeah, sure. People. But when you watch them in real life, it is fascinating. Of course. And you can't help but stare at them. How many seats did they buy? God damn it. I couldn't follow them that well. Well, isn't that one guy that married? I wanted to. I was like, did you one? Like, do you do a one M&M's pack? Well, there's one of them that's just married to one guy. Like the other girl isn't married. The other half of her isn't married to this guy. No, she just kind of lays her dead. Wow, this guy's freaky. She says she goes into a, from what I hear, she goes into sort of like almost like a meditative state almost. Yeah. Yeah. Disassociate. Yeah. Yeah. I do that. I mean, as long as it's consenting. Half the time, half this episode. As long as Ed consents. While I'm heaving on top of you with my Jim Thornton quotes. I just want to make a vineyard filled with naked young boys. That's my goal. And have the naked feet of those little boys squish the grapes of the sweetest wine you've ever had. It's supposed to be aged, the wine. Yes. I don't drink that old, dusty wine. I like brand new baby wine. Toddler wine. Yum, yum, hot wine. Down my throat. Just like a liquid child. Thank you, Jim. And you will win a brand new Mitsubishi Tatanga. Here's a trip to Greece. Yes. My favorite place. My favorite place to shop for little boys' underwear. Nobody makes coverings for a little boy like the Greeks. So these conjoined twins. I'm sorry. These conjoined twins. They are, just so you know, they're teachers. Really? Yes. They teach children. They teach children. That's really amazing. Also, kids are just wildly accepting. Yes. Kids will ask you like three inappropriate questions and then move on. I think that's great. Yeah. Like they're teachers. It's great. It puts them in front of people. Forever. Actually, I've been kind of, not obsessed, but like every like five, six years, I read an article about this. No, this is not, I don't think any of this is real about their guts. They have to pee at different times. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about their. So they have separate bladders. That's one thing I remember because I remember watching them since they were like eight years old. Like, I think we're about the same age as them or something like that. I've been watching them for. They have two hearts. Yeah. So they are. Okay. Thank you, Rob. So much. Okay. This is fantastic. Two hearts that beat as one. Three lungs, two hearts. Okay. This is interesting. That's a lot of parts, man. But the thing is, they got it all together and I'm just one person. Yeah. And they impressed me in a way that they could get to their gate. Well, you know what? I don't need you flexing on me. Okay? I don't need this. I don't want to hear, oh, I'm a conjoined twin and my life's fucking great. All right? I know I'm a fucking. My whole life's amazing and I'm still angry. All right? But I want to hear about it. Yeah. I got a question. Can one die and not the other? It doesn't last very long, unfortunately, historically. Okay. Yeah. Normally. Because it's like a day or week. There's. Yeah. The way it seems to be, there's no physical reason that they necessarily die, but it's almost like they can't live without the other. I think it would. Right? I don't know if there's not a physical reason, but I do imagine if a part of your body is necrotizing, then maybe that will affect the rest of your organs, unfortunately. Or maybe it will try to compensate. None of us are doctors. No organ failure. This is what we're guessing. Organ failure just leads to more organ failure and then eventually you die. Exactly. Conjoined necrotizing, though, is an amazing name of a band. Or an album. Conjoined necrotizing. I can work for an album. Oh, you can work for an album. Like, yeah. Like, that's what Temple of the Dog should have been called. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Soundgarden and Pearl Jam got together, that was conjoined necrotizing. That's fucking awesome, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Done by Two-Headed Lady. Yeah. See, Two-Headed Lady, that's a good band name. Two-Headed Lady, yes. It's a great song by Rocky Erickson, Two-Headed Dog. Wow. That's true. Very true. See, we learned a lot today. Thank you so much, Carolina, for coming in. I don't think you could ever stop learning. No. No. I refuse to stop learning. Yeah. I refuse to stop learning and growing. That's good. Every day I mature into this. No Dogs in Space is back. Go be a part of it. Make yourself smarter. Make yourself cooler. Go listen to No Dogs in Space. Impress your friends. Watch it on YouTube. Watch it on YouTube. Watch it on YouTube. LPN TV. Yes. Hell yeah, man. Go check it out. Go check it out. Go check it out. Go check it out. Well, it has its own YouTube channel. That's right. It does. Yes, on No Dogs in Space. Go check out our own. That's right. We've been working on this. Go fucking check out our new YouTube channel through. You can get it from Last Podcast on the left. Yes. So go in there and find it. Totally. And check out Bloodbath as well. Yes, please. It's on LPN TV. That is on LPN TV. 1977 Bloodbath. Which is great. I did a lot of the research for that season, and I am in two episodes. It is fantastic. Fuck yeah. So check that out. I make a tiny appearance as well at a great time. I love that. Oh, here we go. I did my characters, the sheriff or whatever the fuck you guys tell me I am. You did a good job, Eddie. You did great. You did a really good job. I can yell at my friends. I know how to do that. It's a good job. Yep. It was a wonderful time. I love everything that's going on here at the network. I'm so proud of all of us. There's so many great shows. Watch The Brighter Side's hit in 600 episodes this week. Holy shit. Congratulations. I wish I could swim in a pool filled with the soiled underwear of little boys. Yes. That's fantastic. And we're going to try and get hold of them. We're going to make Holden this guy's job. That's the other thing that worked during this episode. Yeah, we're going to try to get him. Yeah, we're going to make Holden the new announcer of Wheel of Fortune so he doesn't have to work here anymore. Yeah, we can get him out. Yeah, but yeah, go check out all the great shows here on The Last Podcast Network, The Forum Report, Page 7, Brighter Side. Major and Ned Gabbard's lives by guys in love. You can listen to the show at free. You can also see Last Stream of the Love live every 5 p.m. PST every Tuesday. Every Tuesday, innit? That's right. And you can watch us on Netflix. Yeah. Please watch us on Netflix. We have a lot of fun there. You got to. And then this Sunday, the 27th of November, I'm going to be in Milwaukee, The Laughing Tap, having a lot of fun. I'm going to a wedding, and then I'm going to go to do this show on my way home. You're playing the wedding as well, or? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to sit in the corner in silence. Cool. But the show's going to be great. I got Logan Metz from Promise of the Real playing piano, Tom Goss, great comedian. We're going to have a lot of fun here at The Laughing Tap in Milwaukee. And then the week after that, I'm going to be in Denver, Comedy Works, the early show sold out. So I still got tickets for the late show on October 4th. It's my birthday. Come and hang out with me there. And then Henry and I, we're going to Brooklyn. Yeah, we are. Side stories. We're in Brooklyn, baby. At the fucking Warsaw. No, when are you guys going? October 9th. We're going to be at the Warsaw. Rob's going to be there. Yeah, Rob's going to be there. We'll be in town. Okay, we're going to go. Come hang, come watch the show. Yeah, I'm going to come. I'm inviting all my comedian buddies. I put a bunch of people on the list. We're going to have a lot of fun at this show. Oh, that's fun. I can't wait to see that. Yeah, Joyelle Johnson's opening for us. Going to be a lot of fun. Can't wait. And then on the 11th of October, Henry and I are headed to Hartford, Connecticut. We've got a show there. Side stories. It's back on the road, baby. Redway, California, October 24th. November 14th, Portland, Maine. Sold out. You can't go. You've got to go to Burlington, Vermont the next night. Come to Burlington, Vermont. I'm going to be there with my oldest friend, Nitzberg. Yeah, my buddy Jeff Nitzberg. Hopefully he's coming. Yeah, he better come. I'm going to hang out. I might hang out an extra day. You should do it. In Vermont, because I never go. It's beautiful. Try the cheese and try the gays. I love the gays in Vermont. You know what I like, though? Honestly, truly, best beer I've ever had is in Vermont. Really? Yeah. I can't wait. Syrup. Get the syrup. Get the syrup. I heard about that, too. You know what? I'm going to drink Bernie Sanders' blood. Yeah, let's kill him. That is syrup. Iowa City, December 11th. Columbia, Missouri, December 12th. And I have lots of stand-up going all around. I got Los Angeles, Pasadena, St. Louis, Denver, Albany, Rochester. We're fucking hitting the road. What's he avoiding at home? What is he avoiding at home? Nothing. I bring Julie with me half the time, and she opens for me. It's going to be a lot of fun. Incredible. Save Christmas. Save Christmas for us. You guys are going to be doing Carolina and Marcus' house Christmas Eve. All right. I love it. We're not going anywhere for fucking Christmas. That's our goddamn circle. I leave town for New Year's. It's a lot of fun. So don't rob me. Live every day knowing for a fact if you've had sex for a dog, you can apply for the FBI. That's right. And know that you can laugh your way down to arresting other people for bestiality and letting them go because you love bestiality. So just love, laugh, laugh the fact. You're going to love the, live for the day that you can finally legally have sex with a dog because you are a member of the FBI. Imagine getting hired by the FBI the day after that report came out and then everyone would be like, so you fuck dogs? So you fuck dogs? Oh, you must love to fuck dogs then. I better, there better be a bunch of dogs then that are new FBI enlistees. There's nothing I would love more than a. Recreate Neverland's ranch with a bunch of naked little dogs. So please investigate all the new FBI agents for fucking dogs. I think that's what happens. If we could, yeah, I think first. Shaq loves it. Oh, imagine Shaq fucking it. That'd be a. It's more. Eddie. No. He does it to bears. Let's get out of here. Shaq fucks bears. Let's get the fuck out of here. I'll see you guys later. The horse will be dead. We gotta stop. It has to stop. you