Should Guys in Relationships Be On Instagram?

Your stance on this statement, men in committed relationships don't need Instagram outside of work. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. You know that I don't feel things about a lot of things until I'm in the moment immediately. This is the last recording that we're going to do in this studio. And this is not the last one you'll see in this studio, actually. Stassi fucked it up. No, I really wish this was the last one. You know, I'm like so big on that kind of sentimental things. It's big. We're going to talk about a bunch of studio stuff today, but you will see one more interview with Stassi because we had to hold it till when her show comes out. So that will be the final time you'll see it. We just want to be transparent. We don't want to lie to you guys. But this is the last time you and I are going to be alone and doing an intro and a full episode in the studio. But like we've moved studios a lot over the years. You know, it's not like our only studio we've ever. I feel less sentiment-y. Oh, okay. Great. Well, we will rank them. Yeah. And, you know, just maybe watch it on YouTube and see two baseball girlies reffing their teams. Just a couple of baseball girlies. All right. Well, we'll thank our partners and we'll just get into it. Thank you to Article. Get it. 50. Off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com slash GGE and Rocket Money. Reach your financial goals faster at rocketmoney.com slash GGE. And this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Find support and therapy. Get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash GGE. And thank you to FP Movement. Go to fpmovement.com to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear. And thank you to Resort Pass. The day is yours. Get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more at resortpass.com slash GGE. And this just reminded me that I meant to wear my brand new FP Movement tank, but it wouldn't have matched the hat because it's lime green. I'm wearing full FP Movement. We'll tag team the read later. I'm just, I'm squatting in my house at this moment. So I have like four pieces of clothing. This is it. Not at this moment, but you guys hear this, you'll be fully moved in. Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually I'll be moved in and we will be in the south of France. Bonjour. Catch me all over France. Bonjour. So we, yes, this is our vacation. We're going to be in the south of France. And I have been to Nice once in high school. That's crazy. With your parents? No, we took it for my French class. So I took five years of French, one in college, but we only had French and Spanish in my school. And most people took Spanish. There was only one French teacher. I loved her. We, our family knew her and I was like, I want to have her all four years and go to France because I knew that the French kids went to France for the mostly and the Spanish kids never really took trips. And like, that was my reason for not taking the more practical language was to go. You and I have very funny, like random things in common. Cause like my school only had Spanish and French. No one really took French. I took French all four years. I took one year in college. That's it. I just liked the teacher. I was just like, I think this is better. I want to do this. We just have like weird stuff in common, but you guys didn't go. It wasn't like a trip. Taylor all the nice high school. No, I mean, they were like, take a trip to the Wendy's down the street. Raina, don't get it twisted. We didn't have some kind of fancy high school. We all, I think your high school was nice to the mind. It just was. Mrs. Conlon shout out, Madame Conlon. She just wanted to go and her husband would go. He was the gym teacher. So they would go and shopper on the trip. And it was my best guy friend, Caleb, who obviously you met the wedding. You sat with him at the wedding and like 10 of us maybe. And we paid for it. Like it was only the people that the school didn't pay. It was like an opportunity. And it was incredible because we went to Paris and Nice and Monaco for the day. And then Florence, Venice, Rome. It was an incredible trip for a senior co-ed trip to. Europe for teenagers. And the drinking age is nonexistent. And like crazy with the coolest teachers in the town. That's insane. We'd stayed at one place. I remember one, Sophie tell that was nice and then the rest were more hostile vibes. Like they weren't nice, but they were nice enough. And yeah, I did make out with one kid that was on another trip from another school. We kind of were with some other kids at one point kids will find each other in Europe. And that was the first time I was in Italy. And then I went once more just a few years later with my family. So I've been in Italy and so long. And I. Have these memories and you're always telling me like, sis, it will not be like that. Like I was there when like you could just walk up to the Trevi Fountain. There was no social media, obviously, like it felt so easy to get around and do everything. And no one's doing anything for social media. And so those are my memories of Italy. And I feel like that's almost why I'm hesitant to go back. I mean, it's wonderful. It's just it's always going to be overrun in like July and August. It's not like a hot take anymore. Like the tick tock of vacation of everything has made everything miserable and everything is just to take photos. And the lines are so long. But like you're still in Italy, you know, I know, I know, I know. It's just kind of like I have these memories of Rome that are really specific and like really vivid. And you're like, it's not gonna be like that. It's not gonna be like that, but I would still go. And I love it and I love it too. And I love a major city. And I always say every year when people ask us like solo travel tips, I say go to the major cities and that's what you'll enjoy. Like being alone. And if you want to be alone like Rome, of course. OK, so what is your experience with the south of France prior to this, prior to where we are right now? I went to Nice and Monaco. I went to Nice and Monaco and Cannes, Colin. I went alone. It's not sad, Nice alone is so sad. Well, I mean, you guys, if you've been a long time listener, when my fiance left me, I was like, oh, I've never been anywhere. I was like 28 and I was just like, I'm going to go everywhere. And I planned like maybe three back to back trips. They were all like two weeks long and I just hit like every city in Europe alone. I've been everywhere alone in my like late 20s. I stayed in hostels and like there was early days of Airbnbs, they were a little sketchy and kind of scary. And I was just like, this is what I can afford. Yeah, really early days. I was like, this is sketchy, but I can't afford anything else. Yeah, so that's my experience. But it was also like such a dream. Like early days of Airbnb, you're like, what is this? But I like going back to places now as an adult with, I mean, the Internet as it is today. You were saying yesterday, how did people plan trips without TikTok and AI, like the scrappiness with which I had to cross reference 15 websites. And then I'd go and like you didn't have Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi didn't exist. So like you could have a cell phone plan. It was like a hundred dollars for international. Data every day or you just had to like hope for the best. Yeah, I have really taken the reins on this trip and I am so dialed in and I have all these methods and I have like multiple devices and I do so much with TikTok. Like I will search so, so much, but then I'm Googling stuff and then I have my maps to map everything out and then see where they're like the train stations we need or the airports. And I've just had a lot of fun. You have been flooding my I mean, thank God I don't have the capacity for it right now. No, it doesn't annoy me. I love it. And like, you know, I said, I will DJ a whole trip. I plan our whole trip to Jackson Hole. I love being in charge. I planned up Raina Palooza. I will plan a whole trip if I but like I don't really have the time right now because I'm moving and like I trust you and I trust Megan. You like nice fancy things and so do I and like the stuff you plan. I like so I just I say it all the time. If you don't plan it, you don't get to complain. So if you sit back, you got to just you got to do what other people planned and I trust you, Megan. Thank you. I mean, it's been fun. Like I just when I lock in, I'm like the hotel's booked. The Airbnb is booked. The restaurants are booked like we can change if you guys don't like it, but like I made some decisions. That's fine. I don't want to do it really. I really don't have the capacity right now. I don't want to do it. Somebody else that I trust is doing it and I will be happy with the outcome. No, I think you're going to really happy. Yeah, I'll be really happy. And also, like, I think people get in their heads like back on this group trip to have to do every single thing. No, you don't have to. If there's like one dinner I for some weird ass reason don't want to go to, I could sit it out. I'm an adult, but I think I'm going to like everything. Yeah. And so follow along. We will have been there for a few days now, and I'm flying directly directly. I'm going to be in New York, but then flying to Nice. So we're going to start there and then go to Saint Tropez, do a day in Cannes and then go back to Nice. Sort of this town called as this medieval castle town and then fly back out of Nice. And we really want to try to go to the resort where they filmed White Lotus season four. It looks insane. Everything looks insane. It's I thought maybe we could spend a night there, but it's totally booked. The restaurants are booked. Like we're going to try our hardest to get up there. And then another thing that I'm so excited to do, the winery, the Whispering Angel Winery. Reina, I feel like I'm like starstruck by it. That's fuels our life. Whispering Angel. That's the Mecca. It is fuels my hangovers. So winery with Whispering Angel. Like I'm like a shaky thinking about because I love a wine tasting. You know, this is the most I I don't really like wine tasting. To me, I'm like, you've done three done all of them. I've done Napa and Italy and France. I've done them all. But like. You're so excited. This is the most like white girl named Ashley thing that you could do in in France. No, but it's still like an amazing rosé winery. It's not like some. It's just it's a beautiful winery. Regardless. Regardless. I don't care. Chateau d'Esclant. Also, this is new. You guys are finding out as I'm finding out what we're doing on this trip. So I will never do a brewery tour. I hate a distillery situation like a tour. I I hate those two things. And I also drink beer and liquor, but I love a wine tasting experience no matter what. You and I went to Guinness in Ireland. We've done the top top top of brewery tours. I'm good. We've done it. I cannot listen to people talk about beer or liquor like they put some sort of distillery liquor thing like a cocktail making class on our Singapore itinerary. I was like, Nope. But you like to listen to people talk about making wine or you just find it more relaxing. I like to sit and drink while people talk. I am sort of paying attention. Okay. because breweries are indoors and wineries are outdoors. also you're all I feel like a brewery tour you're always on foot I'm like this is giving like boring field trip from middle school no matter where what winery you're at you will like it it's just not the vibe I know brewery what I know I can go to a brewery and hang out and like I can just look at the fucking machines and the hops on my own I don't need to hear about it if someone starts talking about hops I want to it's so boring I'm out do you remember two years ago when my pregnant sister-in-law insisted that me and my brother and her go to a winery tour we were in Italy oh yeah and she was like I planned a whole day we're gonna go to this winery I was like aren't you so pregnant I couldn't like I don't care we're gonna go like I love it so much like I remember one time do you love it pregnant that's how married in the game she is of course not I would hate it pregnant I think she's on some stuff yes and honestly my nephew's perfect so she's fine but um I'm really excited about it I'm so excited about it I'm so excited about it I'm so excited about it and I did just want to share one travel hack and also let you guys know that next Monday we'll be off which we always are around the 4th the Monday around the 4th and then that we will be back the following Monday the 13th and we will recap this trip and we're going to do a travel episode so traveling with partners you guys have a lot of questions left over from when I did the episode with Shashank that I really wanted to talk about with Raina and give advice like more in the dating area he wasn't like really wanting to give advice on those types of things like lots of stuff that you guys asked and also traveling with me so I'm going to do a travel episode with you guys with friends and we'll recap our trip and all that stuff but I just wanted to share like one hack that I'll call back to when we do this episode but about using the points and getting these flights like I've always felt like this is a real blind spot for me and when we've had Brian Kelly on and we've had Tori Dunlap on I'm like hanging on every word and it's still been really hard for me to like digest how to do this and all Tori Dunlap posts her first 100k is her handle is like I'm in lay flat business for 40 bucks because I used points and she's always like you know message or leave a comment I'll tell you what card to get and I digest all this information but I've never quite done this where you transfer the points to a different airline because her and Brian Kelly are always talking about Air France KLM is one of the best programs to transfer your points from like your chase or your Amex so I transferred my points from my chase reserve to flying blue which I'm walking you through how to do it too actually when we finish this up I will pack the studio up if you do this on my computer okay I'll try but it's interesting how it works so you need to first go on and see how many miles points the flight you want is which could change you hope it doesn't but basically Air France all day there's like a few that have deals like one might be 600,000 900,000 and then there's one that's like 200,000 so the one that I wanted was 181,000 that's great for a lay flat that's like a nine thousand dollar flight for basically like a fifteen hundred eighteen hundred in points basically you don't have to pay so I was like that's what I want and I'm messaging with Tori just like am I doing this right I didn't want to bother her I was like you don't answer me I know you're busy and she was like no I'm happy to help and I'm like I'm transferring from chase to Air France she's like yeah so find your flight and then go transfer so then I go into chase transfer to flying blue their program you find your travel you find your travel partners and you transfer this is irreversible so you're transferring points and it could take a minute it can take up to seven days mine was immediate okay literally I refreshed and they were there in my flying blue account 24 to 48 hours or up to seven days I can't imagine that happening but the flight prices will change the flight could change mine was immediate they were there in my flying blue so then I booked that flight okay but what if the amount of miles changes and I'm telling her this and I'm trying to comprehend it she goes yeah that's the fun of it like sarcastically like it's a gamble uh-huh but this is how I'm getting a flight that would be eight to ten thousand dollars for a crazy business class flight to France for a hundred and eighty thousand miles which is still a ton but I've accumulated a ton and then I'm flying back on a premium economy and I did the same thing and booked my premium economy for a hundred thousand points which is still pretty good that's only about a thousand bucks in points if you really kind of think about like a uh-huh a dollar of amount this is a blind spot for me it is for me too and then I realized like oh okay you're taking a little bit of a risk here it's like oh okay you're taking a little bit of a risk here because which may turn people off like if you transfer those points and for whatever reason it took a while and then you don't have enough and you're like what the so do you transfer more than you need but then it's irreversible so then you just have them sitting in there when I saw they transferred immediately I was like what a rush I booked it I was like I'm so proud of myself like you see and hear all these people talking about doing this and I've just never done it I use points all the time but like transferring what these they talk about it there are some of these airlines where you really get the best best bang for your buck and that's how you fly back and forth by business to Europe wow all right we're gonna do this as soon as okay so we're gonna try to transfer from Raina's am follows for more tips our share to fly in blue and then get you the same flight provided it's still the same amount of miles listen just stay tuned people are gonna be like I don't know I saw Raina's story a couple days ago she was an economy well I'm also flying I'm flying from New York I guess you are too so I was like it doesn't matter to me as much but it yeah so I'm gonna go to New York a few days before and it's a seven hour flight to Paris it's not that bad and then two more ish hours an hour and a half to Nice but the one flying back is longer for me to go to LAX but it's I'm in premium economy and I don't really need to sleep on that time of day like to me it's the matter of if I really need to sleep is that's where it's like I really want to do whatever it takes to have a lay flat all right well anyway these are how to do it you guys follow again the points guy of course and Tori Dunlap her first 100k and I think they do this really well but it's like even as much as they explain it you're still sometimes like I don't get it and like you're not alone okay good okay I did it you're gonna do it no you did it you're gonna do it again sounds hard I have to tell you something funny like it will we can transition into the studio but I have this very funny conversation with Brittany yesterday who's like our very good friend and she was talking to me about podcasting and we're like voicing me back and forth and she she goes you are so lucky I just like wish I had an Ashley and I was like yeah I know it's great I have a partner in life did like do business with it's great and she goes no I just mean like you just get to like do nothing you just walk into the studio you just show up and it's done and I was like what and she goes yeah you just show up to the podcast you don't do anything and I was like I'm sorry who told you this not me and I go why did you just say that sentence she goes you said that you don't you just show up and I said no I said I show up for the live shows okay I've never said that I just show up to the studio Ashley's never told you that and she goes all this time I literally thought you just walked in the door sat down Ashley had booked a guest written the outlines playing the episodes Scott and all set up she's like I've been so jealous of you I was like what do you think I do all day it just doesn't have a job you're like we split the money but Ashley you're my stay-at-home business partner I was like we record like two days a week what do you think I do the rest of my time we have like a secret setup I do all the work and Raina like does my laundry and cleans my house I just I think it's so funny to me this has been like a very good friend of ours for many years she that's her view of me and you by the way that you also allow that to happen that you're like you don't just do all of it but I that's because I'm like a control freak she probably thinks that but yeah I mean no you do just show up to the live shows but you well we also have help like we've always had like a tour manager and manager no we always have not for years we did it right I'm just me and you out there the live shows I really I don't even know who she books I don't know what it costs I really Ashley is I'll let her cook I don't I don't need to ask questions I don't know what it costs no I have a general idea but no so I haven't asked what the live shows cost in seven years I don't know it's worth it I just whatever that's not my business the studio I have a general idea but I don't know what it costs I have always done like the tech the and I still do like sign up the sound and the cameras for the most part adjusting them and stuff but you have managed really the studio setup like if we need people to come in here and help with the lights and like you may it's really down the middle like you do more work on the front end of all these studios that we've moved around which we'll talk about today and then I'm usually kind of like do the finishing touches but you come in here and kind of get set up before I'm even here and then I do my stuff I'm the front end guy you're the back end guy well yeah I do all the pre-production on the episode you do plan the episodes and then I get in there and get her done I just it's so funny like I don't know what people think we that I do all day and like a couple days on tour like the last couple stops I had like you just love to move I just loved I like to do manual labor I like admin and moving I am always moving and returning stuff I do guys I'm out here carrying this company in my back and rain is just returning packages and they're not even mine this morning she was like I'm planning this like trip here's like all these links to these hotels and these dinners and I was like I'm at staples buying boxes yeah to go pack up the studio I think people do just think that sometimes we just show I think a lot of people the podcast do just show up I think they just walk in the door and show up and they walk out the door and that's all they do and that's great for a lot of people this is our full-time job I will say you know we've gone back and forth throughout the years of having our own space and doing it all ourselves and then we've had different people we had Bella we had Tessa and then Anna when we're in New York will come in and help set up as opposed to going in a studio whether we're at Dear Media or Melrose we've been at wtf we've been we've used them all and having it just be all set up ready to go they send the files afterwards like we really do just have to sit down and talk and we've had you know issues here and there where we've really had to intervene but for the most part we don't just set it all up and it's nice there's pros and cons to both the way that i'm feeling right now is never say never i don't know that we're gonna do this again there's good and bad because like i was working with the our studio in new york and i was like can i move this date to this day yeah and they were like no people have booked this and yeah i was like can i have this date and they're like you can have this date but it has to be early in the morning like yeah like we can walk in this door anytime we want there's flexibility so it's really been like tough deciding like which is which because like melrose who like once the times are gone they're just gone i guess that's that's raina's job is stuff like that so that is a pain in the ass because you're trying to get a guest and the studio and luckily there's so many options especially in new york and we love melrose and then wtf has new studios like we we can find a place but that's annoying too well then i don't have a lot of flexibility with the guests like i never know what to do first book the guest totally the studio first because like then we have to move the studio you guys got it scheduling but like yeah we don't have as much flexibility and we've had the studios have been in your house in my house in apartments we've rented in this office space at other people's studios i mean there's pros and cons to all of it if you guys are thinking of starting your own podcast yeah and when we had our studio in raina's garage and it flooded oh my god i was like i don't want to do this again i don't want to rebuild and you were like i was like we should rebuild and i'm so glad you did that was when we really took it seriously and we had someone design the lighting and the look and it looks so much more professional it leveled us up we started dressing nicer like the studio set the bar and i'm really glad you did that and then this studio is our first like office space i mean we're in this kind of office park it's cooler than that and we pay rent on this as a commercial space and it just felt like really legitimate but you know another thing too is like i don't know you and i will come in here and we'll just procrastinate and we'll talk and we'll talk shit and it's like we don't waste time but i was thinking about it like i'd rather just like go to dinner with you than like come in here and talk shit for two hours and then the work day is so far behind so that's a nice part of going to a place where we are on a schedule like reigns us in no i that when somebody asks me like do i like recording in somebody else's studio the first thing i say is like we have to show up on time yeah and we have to just get into it and then that's it and like here you and i there's days we get here at 11 and we leave at five and we've recorded two episodes but they didn't need to take six hours yeah so i don't know if you guys i'm sure you really like this look and we do too and it's really special and different not everybody does it and we're not knocking whatever other podcasts want to do we really saw a few shows early on that built their own studio and really like bet on themselves and spent money to do it and rent space and that is what inspired us to do that but not a lot we're doing it and we were like you know what let's do that and that was the motivation for the first one we had and it'll be a nice break to not have to do it and then we'll think about it uh-huh but i kind of want to walk through them reina all the studios and this will be fun for you can you list all of them for you oh geez did you write them out yeah and a few memories from both okay so i wonder if you forgot any yeah i mean i'm sure i've forgotten some that were just like one-offs and stuff but okay let's go through it so we started in my old apartment in the east village i lived in a building that really was inhabitable there was caution tape on every other door on my floor i was the only person lived on my floor i probably shouldn't have legally been allowed to live there i did withhold my rent for a while i was able to it was like this slumlord who was being sued they went bankrupt it was a disaster but i was like this is a true one bedroom and i'm that bitch and i'm like i'm not and i look back and thought that apartment was really something and i like looking back now i'm like it was so shitty that was like the wild west of podcasting i mean the amount of people that we just like invited into your home that are like tv stars new york times bestsellers best-selling comedians people that have netflix specials hulu specials like the people that came and just sat on the floor just sat on the floor with dewey my dog at the time and we started at rain and i look at this high table that i bought off i don't know some facebook market place shit like nothing in there was new everything was like ikea or thrifted or whatever like nothing was nice and we would hunch over this one mic across from each other at the table but then we would have guests we would sit on my ikea couch love that couch and i was just making notes of krista stefano was there hannah burner that was the first time we recorded with her ari shafir mark manson like do you have any others that were like this person's in my house dan soder who like was really big on showtime at the time on billions and he has all these specials but at the time these people also what they are now but we still like looked up to a lot of them and like eating grinch ben who's the host of top chef in canada like she came but i just remember these moments like we'd seen chrissy d on the internet but like i hadn't seen him in person and like he walked into my shitty apartment i was like holy shit he's so hot so horny i remember hannah coming in she was all sweaty it was in june and she was like what the fuck like it was we became friends with her she came to your birthday like the week later that's fine it was just i just remember these moments and just people sitting on the floor with my dog like i i could cry thinking about it and then in the mix in that time was mouth media so if you guys remember coming in for mouth media that was this studio in chelsea that is probably no longer i don't know what they were trying to do over there but they let us they were great for the time being they let us do whatever we had a lot of people in there too we had that guy who broke his dick who then i decided to be in love with for a year oh my god yes i think katie strino our first female guest andrew collin andrew collin with lev noah neiman jared freed and we lost the audio and i was like i am not gonna i don't know if i'll ever recover shep rose so drunk with his publicist like you won't tell me what to do jared we did lose the audio for real but i also remember he shook a cup of iced coffee into the mic the whole time anyway and so it was kind of like a blessing and we brought him back in and then we like knew him more or whatever but noah neiman took his shirt off and he was like i don't know what to do and he was like oh my god i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do and i was like oh my god i don't know what to do and i was like oh my god i don't know what to do and i was like oh my god i don't know but yes we had crispy who was our fur crispy shorts who was from jerry fuck jerry media and if you guys remember they made one of the fire festival documentaries so we had him we had jeremy jacobowitz who's like one of my best friends jeremy those are a lot i mean you guys we really if you remember the shep episode shep came on shep rose came on and that was such a big get for us at the time and they had like a reunion that day he'd been drinking all day they shouldn't have let him come record a podcast he was on a boat his publicist texted me can you go get some beers for shep i was like it's 3 p.m on a tuesday we've been waiting for hours for him to get off at grand banks or whatever they were wasted and then we had that random like cbs studio where we had nikki glazer and heather reed man and emma willman i thought of nikki and heather i mean i just can't believe it like yes it was this random studio i forget how we got connected with them but to have nikki like in person i was like i can't believe this she was someone i looked up so much in comedy and heather hadn't hardly done anything i mean she was big on social media but she didn't have her podcast or she wasn't touring i don't even think every man it was like earlier days and you just knew her from atlanta and like liked her content and yeah i mean i just look at like what i don't know it's just it's really an honor to have met these people seven eight years ago and to have watched their careers and become good friends with them and like watch them ascend to such like a high level like it's really it's an honor to be like part of that journey and i remember these early days with these people and like their podcasts would explode their books their specials would go crazy people would start coming to their shows like comedians and they would like call us to thank us and say like your audience has just like stormed my shows and it's just to be a part of those people's journeys and watch them like on the red carpet hosting the emmys yeah it's just it's like an amazing treat it really really is that's so special yeah i mean you're reminded of that all the time like i've been last night about something and i'm just like we just had her on and we were so starstruck by some of these people like i remember we only had guys on at first because we were like we'll just give like a male perspective and we're two women two girls yeah you were like okay i love this woman she had been married to the fat jewish and she was semi-recently divorced but also during her whole thing with her whole brand and you were like i'd love to have her on and we just like got her on and then she was like so cool we're like i think she's like our friend now like these moments i could cry like we made a lot of friends this way yeah like we're still very close with mateo and he was another one who we're just like he's so funny we gotta have him on and i mean hannah like all of this is it's crazy and then we were my second apartment and that was like my nicer upgraded apartment we recorded there up until covid that was like fall of 2019 the weekend i moved in we had derrick paith who was on the bachelor and then he just like disappeared into the wilderness yeah and i made some notes i remember probably andrew schultz was the most famous person to be in that apartment that apartment yeah and then matthew hussey oh my god usama was one i really remember in that apartment and again just like dewey would be there and and then it was covid and then we came back and that is when we decided to have our own first studio and that was an apartment in my building and we had a great covid deal and i was on the second floor we're like let's rent an apartment on the fourth floor and we did and that was the titty wallpaper and that was really like our first studio that felt like an office space too we launched vibes only in there of course and obviously esther perel was the main guests i think about coming there and andrew huberman and like our friends like jenny and emily fedner and deep d and i don't know it's just like really special i know i could like we used to like take all those photos in there we had all those polaroids of everybody it really was so special i feel sad if we like miss anybody oh to shout them out i mean there's just so many yeah i'm just like what pops into my head when i remember those moments and then you know we moved to la and we were in range's garage and then we mentioned we had to rebuild and we leveled up and then we're here just it's nice walk down the rain thank you guys for always like being here on the ride and you know we always want to be looked at as people that like uplift other artists and promote their projects and to watch them ascend and to still be friends with them is really just so nice for us you know it's funny though because we all of those studios no one like knew what those looked like like we didn't have video so like i think people have seen my second apartment my nice apartment like we would cut clips and we i think we started video there no we know jeremy texted me a photo of this the other day because remember jeremy came over and helped us set it up for the first time and it was kind of recently like the anniversary of that five years ago or six years ago youtube in 2022 full youtube but we were doing yeah we recorded full episodes episodes and just like for clips i know what we were thinking but it's just like i am thinking of like if we had full video back then in my first apartment like on that ikea couch just crushing it was a nice shape to record podcast i was an l shape i loved that couch that was so comfy but it was not that it was kind of like firm in la we got chairs and i like that and in this studio we had mel robbins i mean most importantly we had harry jowsey and that was the horniest one of the horniest days of my life la what happened here i don't take it away that's it harry jowsey harry jowsey is the only thing that happened in la huger than harry though i'm trying to think and we had heather in la back that was yeah that was in my house i think matthew hussey also came to my house jay shetty we did at his place yeah who else was i like really nervous about that came to my house oh tyler cameron was in my house actually i was so nervous i was just like sitting in my living room with him like i don't know what to do so many people harry jowsey and tyler cameron is the horniest i've been on this show same laura wasser but that was on zoom that's the horniest you've been i don't know if i can handle laura wasser in person my girl crush she's a famous lawyer divorce attorney but we did her on zoom maybe one day we'll have her maybe we'll do her in person one day okay well that was that was a nice little walk down memory lane so yeah thank you guys of course for being here and just stay tuned and we are always interested in what you guys like we've said it before we said it last week we cannot please everybody people will want to watch podcasters at a table or in chairs or i saw some comments that people really did like that dear media studio for tunday's episode and but that that color looks a lot different it was more muted we really like vibrant obviously the pink and the green and the saturation of it all and so feel free to comment what you guys like yeah and if you're in la we've been using it's called blank space and they have a bunch of locations they're in santa monica and venice and a couple of them and they're just offices you can outfit so yeah you guys are interested reach out to them too they've been really nice to talk to you like great to us yeah inexpensive blank spaces like all one word yeah and like short-term commercial business like there was the timu waffle wall street next door there's a hairdresser in here and there's a jujitsu studio down there they have like private event spaces i mean this is they don't bother us it's nice yeah and then again venice and but i've driven by that one in santa monica it looks really nice too so it's a great option we've been really happy so thanks to them yeah all right well we'll thank our partners and we'll just get going our main topic today so i just moved so what better time than to talk about furniture article makes it effortless to create a stylish long-lasting home at an unbeatable price i mean i just love their site ashley and i like our homes it's so important to us to make them look comfortable and chic my house in venice is obviously very coastal so that's how i had outfitted it but in new york i wanted more colors a little more edge so at article they have mid century modern they have coastal they've scandy inspired pieces when you go on the site if you're like i have no idea how to outfit a whole room they'll show you their instagram is great as well they really take great care and like curating these collections everything's high quality the packaging is great the weight 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one hundred dollars or more okay an fp movement we love it so much you're wearing this set today love those pants i have them in red but i want that top to match because i only have the long sleep version but i love that set and what i like that they do with so many other sets is like there's so many colors to choose from they're like no not just black there'll be three shades of black and gray i know i love it so i'll tell you guys what i was gonna wear today and that is the go-to cami in honeydew it's like this really bright color so you can just picture it but i love it it is so comfortable it feels like a second skin i also recently got the varsity blues short i've talked about their bike shorts i love them so much i think it's called the never better bike shorts the best bike short i've ever worn the icon t i got this too just like a big oversized t-shirt you could wear it over a pair of bike shorts or even like to sleep in it but this stuff is just great to wear out of course it's great for your workouts but it's not just for the gym we travel in these sets the hot shot crossover set we love if you want to go to brunch the farmer's market take a walk you're just going to look cute doing that this is free people's activewear brand if you guys didn't know that by now and again i was mentioning shorts one time that we talked about them before like shorts are not always so easy to find like the way they sit on your waist and the way they look and they have great great shorts the water resistant coastline hike shorts the top rated carpe diem shorts that has a built-in brief sweat resistant design and the most flattering ultra high rise waistband everything's really flattering we love it these buttery soft feel on the bike shorts and we're just such fans so you guys can shop the full line of activewear and workout gear at fpmovement.com slash gge again visit fpmovement.com slash gge to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear okay so we're gonna get our topic for today this was inspired by a friend of ours who also has been on the show twice ali colbert she was on subway takes which is uh just a great instagram series yeah we'll play it for you guys okay so what's your take i do not think straight men especially married men should be on instagram 100% agreed unless they are working unless they're working instagram is a dating site dating app if you are a man on instagram you should have a private profile you should have less than 200 followers you should have posted twice in your life eight years ago you should not be able to comment you should not be able to dm no fire emoji to someone's story liking someone else's photo is cheating yep you do not need an explore page you're not an astronaut go explore the family you started if you are in a relationship and your explore page is not fishing poles and hiking boots it's over it's done what is an explore page for you have two children under the age of 12. i'm with you you're a grown man sending fire emojis how do you live with yourself and to people that you don't know it's cheating it's not linkedin no it's you want to them it's really inappropriate i also don't think men should be tall okay well ali relax on that i was just running a set yeah no i know i love that um it's very funny like i was thinking what is the elite social media for men to have it's linkedin and linkedin only but if it can't be that i agree with you and i don't think it's going to be the elite social media for me but i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for me and i think it's going to be the elite social media for different things in different relationships so like i've had partners that i've been like sure like and follow away i don't care they post me they are on my instagram story they repost every time they're on my instagram stories i don't care if they follow a few people or if you're like it doesn't mean the same thing is as a partner who is actively hiding you not posting you not reposting your stories that they're in like is there a record of me being alive on your social media like are you secretive or not like it's a whole ecosystem in a relationship like shashank i mean i think he could follow whoever he wanted and like people's stuff and comment you would just be like that's cute i i talked to him about this and i was like what's your history with this have you ever had a partner that you did something they didn't like or whatever and he was like no like he follows his celeb crush she's an actress named madeline pesch i'm not threatened but he was like i would never comment because i wouldn't want you to scroll and see it i don't need to comment i said will you like her stuff and And he said, if she's fully clothed. And I'm like, okay. He had answers like locked and loaded. He was like, I would never want you to see me comment on any woman's Instagram. Like fire emojis or anything. He wouldn't even think to do it. Well, you have to ask yourself, what's the point of this? There's only one reason why. You can be passively attracted to anybody that you like. Go for it. You can't be actively participating. Yeah. That's bizarre to me. And I want to go back a little bit to Ali's take, which is extreme. And it's meant to be funny. And we think it's hilarious. But there is truth in it. Because we do use Instagram as a dating app. That's not controversial. And as you should if you're single. Shashank, DM me before anything. You know, like just to be clear. So I think her take is really obviously people in long-term relationships and dads. Like, yeah, you got children and you're messaging and commenting on stuff. Like, I think it's just funny. Like, she did describe. A lot of women's perfect, man, like they posted twice. Like their explore page is fishing. They don't know what's going on. But we know guys who are super active on Instagram for work. Also, there's exceptions to every rule. We're going to say stuff today. That might be an egg or something we wouldn't want. And we know guys that do that. And we, they're great, trustworthy, amazing friends of ours. Different rules apply to different people. Exactly. But like for work, for networking, for a good cause. What about all those guys who are crushing watermelons? Like all those liberal activist commentators are doing. The Lord's work. These outspoken liberal men on this app. Like, I think that like we have exceptions to all these rules in our lives. And so do you guys, but these trends that we're talking about with these guys and their behavior is pervasive and women want to discuss it. I'm just like Instagram is a shopping app for me for men. And if I want to get somebody's attention, think of it like that. I you do. I'm single. Like I if I want to get somebody's attention. I like their Instagram stories. I respond to their Instagram stories. I leave comments because I'm horny. That's the point of this. Hey, look at me. Yeah, look over here. The last person I slept with it started because I followed him. And I started posting thirsty stuff for him to look at. And then he slid in and that then we slept together. It's a dating app. Like she said, like that's not funny. That's just it is funny. But it's truthful. Like how many people have we had in this podcast? I think Alec Flynn and his now girlfriend. I love them so much. I mean, I don't know the last person. I asked how they got together. It was Instagram. Like it really is like that. And yeah, you do a great job of it. You have a great method, but that's like you're if you are if you are commenting and like things like that. And of course, there's exceptions. You and I have two really good friends. Bobby and Rob Bobby was formerly married. But like those are like the first people to like write like you look hot on my stuff and they love their wives and are attracted their wives and are not stepping out of the marriage. They know their wives are seeing this. Yes, that was really something I wanted to focus in on. There are probably three to five guys in my life. I don't know maybe only two that have the purest of intentions and they know I'm not going to read it weird like there's a few things. I'll just use Bobby and Rob again because they'll flame emoji us all day. Like they know we don't think anything of it. They know their wives or partners will see it and they know our partners or past partners. Like I'm thinking of this one guy who used to really be in your dams a lot and he was married and we knew his wife too. But it was a little flirty for private DMS and I think he just liked you. I think you want to be your friend, but I would not want it from my husband. Also the volume of messages like was a lot like it wasn't like he saw something that was so specific to him and he was like, that's my favorite XYZ. I know that chef at that restaurant like it was but even then it was a lot. What are we doing here? You were single, you know, like what and I'm not really friends with his now wife. So like we asked our audience will get in this later. But like we asked our audience, you know, where's your hard line and a couple women I saw said if I know her then it's fine if I'm friends with her like. Rob's wife Bobby's ex-wife were friends with them. So these are not girls. They can't just like text me and be like what's up and it's so much about personality and you know it when you see it, you know when the intention is shady like Bob and Robby Bob and it's so hard. I don't call Bob and Bob both Bob's both Roberts are like that in real life. They'll tell you in front of their partners. You look hot like Shashank doesn't do that Shashank can flame emoji. Exactly two people. It's you and it's Gina who was married to his best guy friend and who really was the one who helped set us up and that's it and they are like family. You be one of them. I'm making face because he doesn't he doesn't do it if he wanted to like I really think he wants to hype you always be you. He really thinks of you as a sister. It's non-threatening. But if I just saw he was out here on a bunch of other people. I'd be like, what are we doing here? It's like it's embarrassing. That's the thing like it's not just embarrassing for me. Like you men should be embarrassed. What are you literally doing? It's so it is so embarrassing. I want to read this one line that this one girl wrote. She said commenting all this stuff is not disrespectful. It's just loser shit and I don't fuck losers. I love that. Like it's just loser-y that you're like, what are you doing? Right? Like let's just take Shashank for example Shashank flame emojis heart emojis. I don't like it flame emojis are fine. He flame emojis your picture. Everyone sees it. They know what's up. They know that's like your brother, you know, like but Shashank flame emojis a bunch of other people. They're like that's Ashley's husband and it's fucking weird. You know what I mean? Yeah, and he knows that and he I just think again and there are these list of special cases and when it's outside of that it's it's us and it's probably embarrassing to your partner and I thought about this every single time my ex was being shady and I don't know if he cheated on me. He probably did but I don't know but we were off and on all the time and there was a lot of gray area. We were on a break this. And that I in the whole two years we were off and on I never hooked up with anybody else but I know that he did and it's whatever but every time he did something I found it and I was right even the girl he dated after me. I'd clocked her months prior. I found every single girl and by the way when we were going through our two toxic years, you could see people's likes on Instagram, which was a crazy time. So there was that but like I would notice a new girl in his likes or comments and I go to her course I was right every single time. Like this is so real like guys when they're commenting, they are like not on famous people non-famous people. They're like buzz buzz. Here. I am. I might be single one day. Yep. Why else you doing it? That is the only reason you're doing it. You just need validation and listen, I understand that like people need validation and there's tons of relationships that people go home and feel like their partner does not see them and does not sleep with them doesn't compliment them. It is appreciative of them and I'm not talking about those people and you should go to therapy or break up if that's the case. But like, I don't know. I think it's just putting like a band-aid over a bullet hole. If you're going to try to get this external validation and then what by the way, then you just drag up a conversation with somebody and then what are we doing right part of it's just like here. I am just in case and we have a friend who she is since broken up with her boyfriend and she noticed this at the very beginning and I didn't really know that she kind of told me later in the relationship of some of the reasons she didn't trust him because she was trying to reflect on why she didn't trust him and she was like I noticed this very early on and we always say I think this is actually a Rob Olin quote, but the problem at the beginning is the problem at the end and it's so true. Sometimes it's it's almost always true. And so early on she noticed he was falling a lot of like hot models bikini girls a lot of who we knew a lot that he knew that he actually knew not just like Foddy like spank bank material and really engaging and then he cleaned up his following a little bit, but he was still engaging with some and one of the girls. She caught him texting with and there was a betrayal involved and it's just like she had clocked that before you do know it women like us women. We know it, you know it and it's like so interesting because before she caught him maybe like three weeks prior she was saying to me like I went through his following again. He's just following all of these bikini models still he refollowed a bunch of them and she was like I'm really uncomfortable about it. It's a real blind spot for me sometimes because I was like I don't want to invalidate you but like he's never really given you a reason to not trust him. And I don't really you've never caught him lying or he's never said he was going to be somewhere and you somewhere else you have his location and she was like I just can't shake this feeling and on top of that. He doesn't post me and like that's the smoking gun. Like it's just I keep thinking about this being like a whole ecosystem of a relationship. It's like that wouldn't be that big of a deal if his Instagram was also flooded with your photos and yes, anybody can cheat on you and also post a million photos of you but it just it was a couple things that added up that it was just like. Okay. Well, he doesn't express to other people. He's in a serious relationship. It's not clear. You're so right. It's everything together. That really is the full picture. It's not always just one thing. Yeah. I mean you can call cheating whatever you want and you know, like I think that you're allowed to have standards and boundaries. I don't think we all have to just be like the cool girl. That's just like trying to be like I can't police an adult all the time like you're allowed to have standards and your standard can be like I don't like that. You're engaging with all these people like this person we're talking about. He was liking and commenting on all these girls photos too and like it's just too close for comfort and you're allowed to say like that's not that's not fine for me and you're DMing back and forth with these girls and now it's moved to text messages and maybe it's not on its head cheating. You didn't penetrate this person but it is not behavior that is becoming of somebody that I want to be with. Yeah, I'm curious what you think about this. I've heard so many friends say like I don't want to come off as insecure and controlling and I have to like say back to them like what you're asking is not insecure and controlling. These are like normal boundaries to have with somebody. And I think a lot of, women get caught up in this like I don't want him to throw that back on me that I'm controlling him yeah I mean the guys that are in my life that I think are great partners including my own but family friends just know better unfortunately like I'm not saying this is always a like red flag break up with him but I do think about Rob and I think about when he started dating his now wife maybe even partners before that he cleaned up his follows because he doesn't want to be scrolling and it's someone's ass you know like he was like I followed some of these models and ass and titties when I was single and I don't anymore you know like I think about that the guys we know would be the same way like they have a respect for their partners and there is a line there it is too much to start dating someone and be like you have to never engage with a woman again I mean you can think whatever you want have whatever boundaries you want but there is is this person untrustworthy and has he given you a reason to doubt him or are you really deeply insecure and you're acting out of previous trauma and you're projecting and you can't handle him engaging with anyone even if they are his friends and that might be something you have to reflect on yourself and work through yourself because your partner should be able to have female friends interact with them on Instagram like their stuff hype them up all the things but like an avalanche of like bikini models I'm just like there there is an alternative to you following these people which is to just watch porn or look them up like I've just I've never dealt with I'm never to ask somebody to do that but like if I had to I would just be like why won't you yeah what's the big deal unfollow them yeah and I remember with my ex like going through one time and I just felt kind of sick like I was like why this is just a lot of ass for what and again following is different than engaging like I think there's some guys out there that maybe they just want to look at stuff like that sometimes and they've never once engaged and I wanted to ask you about girls doing this I don't think we have I mean other than Bradley Thor but it's like again this goes back to the crush episode we did we did recently and not always but most of the time women do this kind of stuff have these little crushes my fire emoji somebody on Instagram and it is like really actually harmless and I was thinking well women's behavior is mostly harmless usually it's like men they can't be trusted yeah I can be trusted and I think so many guys are hot but I don't necessarily need to follow them also a lot of the guys I think are hot if they're of the moment they are on like chicks in the office they eat daily and so I'm liking all that all day but I thought about this and this is the loophole so you know like one of my hall passes is Jon Favreau from Ponce of America that surprised you guys as much as it surprised me people love that I see comments about it so I can like his stuff all day same with Shashank Shashank loves Caitlin Collins so if we are we literally share if Shashank wants to flame emoji everything Caitlin Collins posted on like Yaz King gas her up like journalists and activists are the loophole Caitlin Collins we could go up dinner with her like right now I'm sure why didn't you come on the podcast you booked the guests are we booking her or not are you afraid to keep her around Shashank no she he doesn't get to meet her we'll book her in New York I would love to book her well yeah I don't watch what happens live all the time I love Caitlin Collins love she's a CNN anchor and so if I saw truly if I saw him heart eyes every post of hers I'd be like yeah that's it we co-sign it yeah I just I love Caitlin Collins but it does this behavior does remind me of the crash episode we did a few weeks ago that you guys like loved the episode was so huge and when you get into a relationship same with flirting with like friends like your behavior just has to change that's just like that's the trade-off like one of my best guy friends got into a relationship unfortunately it's so annoying and he used to comment on everything about how hot I looked and that stuff was like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know when you got a girlfriend and I hate that and that's annoying to me but I get it right I was just gonna say like though like I want to like everything I see of Belmont camelli like just everything shirtless everything he's doing he's dancing he was that kid Leroy video like okay I'm so glad you brought this up because listen you guys this will be weeks ago at this point but I have been wanting to ask him so mad I didn't do a snack this week if it turned you on if you got the ick okay so again this was weeks ago at this point we're recording in advance Belmont camelli was in this big crowd dancing with kid Leroy and I it was a hundred percent hot to me a hundred percent zero percent ick no like he has swagger uh-huh he it wasn't cringe or ick he was having a good time he's so sexy how do you get the ick from that okay if you watch like two seconds prior he like he's trying to put his cell phone away in one of his like cargo pockets so that he can bust out did this and like watching him trying to get the phone in the pocket so that he could then dance like that was a little ick but I'm it is a little ick but I was so horny watching it I mean he's when he okay the dance move yes when he lists his shirt up I was like we've gone a little far no but I'm so horny watching it I don't care he does have swag does have enough moves to pull off what he was doing and he's doing it confidently yes that's the thing when you feel someone is not owning it that's the ick and I didn't get that from him at all so yeah like I was liking stuff and but if he posted on his private account and it was him with his shirt off and stuff I don't know I I wouldn't be flame emojiing it I don't know I don't but also like if I did it would be so harmless and it would be of my character I think that's the kind of thing that your husband would see and laugh at you know like that's the other thing it's like if your partner saw this what would they think about it and he is a famous celebrity now like again like some random person like why are you doing this you're laying the groundwork and we see you yeah we see we see your intentions okay well should we just talk about our remaining partners and then get into our polls yes if you guys are like I want to take a trip but I feel really overwhelmed kind of like organizing my finances and knowing what you can afford rocket money is the best tool that you guys can get for yourselves so rocket money is a personal finance app it's gonna help you manage your subscriptions track your bills everything that you're spending all in one place I love the interface it's going to help you manage your money it's super easy to use so first of all 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the summer can be hard for people i think that there's a lot of FOMO going on of people like taking vacations and like what people have to do with their free time and spend their money on and i also think it'd be a hard time like maybe if you really want kids and you see other people like playing with their kids and go to summer camp and all that so therapy can really help you just unpack these feelings and understand them better and learn good coping mechanisms and setting boundaries and like maybe it is something as simple as like you know it's hard for me knowing that all these people are taking all these trips i have so much FOMO maybe it's just like muting a bunch of accounts and things like that but you know i think it's a you can go to therapy can help better help has over 30,000 therapists it is the world's largest online therapy platform they've served over six million people globally they have quality therapists that work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. and they have a therapist match commitment. So they'll do all the initial matching for you and if you're not satisfied with your therapist, they will switch you to a different therapist at any time and help you with more tailored recommendations to what you'd like. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash GGE. That's betterhelp.com slash GGE. Okay, so we surveyed you guys. About 20,000 people responded. Our surveys are real data. People should pay us for them. 20,000 of you guys. I mean, this is better than anyone else could do. Kinsey Institute, come at us. Google me, bitch. Reina, stop. What is it from? It's a kid. It's just some kid. We said it the other day. When did we say that? I think it was with Stassi. For Christmases. Oh my God, that never would have occurred to me. One of his nephews? Yeah. Yeah, it's one of Vince Vaughn's nephews. That's crazy. Yes. Okay, so we asked you guys a series of questions. We're just going to go through your answers. We kicked it off with your stance on this statement. Men in committed relationships don't need Instagram outside of work. 10% said agree. It's a dating app. And 90% disagreed. What do you think about that? I think it's a high. I think it's a hobbyist app. I mean, there's how many men are on there for sports, cars, travel, food. Most of my guy friends, that's what they're following, looks like. Comedy. Okay, but people don't like the statement. Yeah, so I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's, I mean, yes, a lot of people are on there to fuck, sure. But I don't know. Most people are also on there to follow their favorite sports teams and comedians and us. True. Sports about it all. A lot of sports. And food. How else does one find food? Exactly. How are they going to take you on dates? Especially in LA if they're not following Camber. A hundred. Okay. So that was just like a fun, we knew you guys would probably say that. Again, it's an extreme take, but it's fun to break down. Should guys who follow models, hot influencers, et cetera, clean up their following when they enter a serious relationship? And 55% said yes. And 45% said no, I don't care. So more than half are like, yeah, you should clean it up. And it depends on how egregious it is, I guess. There's like this one guy that I dated and like, I've looked at his following and it's like all bikini models. And it seems. I'm just like, this is beneath you and weird. Like, do you need to follow all these people? Right. And if we were in a relationship, yeah, I'd ask for this to stop. It's embarrassing to me that my friends go to your follower list and see this. And see that. Because when you just glance at someone's follower list, you know, it's so much ass. It's so much ass and titties. It's embarrassing to me. I mean, I don't want my friends to see that on your. It's not even so much about me as much. Right. Right. Okay. It's following bikini models while in a relationship disrespectful. 28% say no. 10% said yes always. 7% said no, following like a way. And the majority, 65%. Following is fine. Engaging isn't. That's probably where I fall. Because we also want to support these women, you know. Only fake models are people too. Yeah. I mean, we want these women to get their bags. Maybe not. Not from our men. Yeah. Not from our husbands. Not from our men. But, you know, we just, we don't want to take away from them. Also, I mean, within reason, it's fine if you follow like a few of these people. You can't be engaged. You can't be engaging with them. Stop it. If your partner asked you to unfollow certain accounts, would you? 25% said yes. 5% said no. Really hard line there. And the majority, 70% said depends on the request. Yeah. I mean, I'm a woman. It's also different. Again, I just, I'm trustworthy. There is nobody. What would Shashank ask me to unfollow? I think it would be people that you've slept with and dated. Like for. That's what, in that direction from men to women. Like, I feel like they'd ask you to unfollow an ex, which I guess I wouldn't mind. I mean, I want. It depends on the request. For me, like, I follow pretty much everybody that I've ever dated or slept with. And a lot of them are muted, but I don't need to like, ex them out of my life completely. Yeah. But I think it's a reasonable request, I guess, if somebody was like, this bothers me so much. This, like a specific ex, I don't think I need them in your orbit. But I guess I would just need to unpack like, why? Because you know, I could just look them up if I felt like it. I know. I mean, I follow guys I've dated or slept with. Just because I didn't need to unfollow them. Like, whatever we had, I'm thinking of a few in particular. One I actually dated, and one that we knew each other before, slept together once, and stayed friends after. I follow them. I like their stuff. I don't really engage or comment. We're not ever in the DMs. They like my marriage stuff. Like, they like my wedding posts. Like, it's so harmless. I don't know if Shashank knows who these people are, or does he care? But. I do follow people that I have a history with. And to me, I was never going to unfollow them, because why would I? That looks like I'm bothered by them. So if Shashank was like, hey, can you unfollow Jason? I'd be like, um, why though? But again, you guys have like the ecosystem of trust where I feel like he would never ask you that. You would never have to do something like that. Like, there's no reason for him to feel like there's a problem that you're following an ex. If you saw text messages. Right. And like, if those guys, the two I'm thinking of. In particular, like, were my DMs, or they were doing too much, I'd be like, you got to stop. I'm disrespected on behalf of my husband, too. What are we doing? What do you think? What do you think you're doing here? There is no chance for you anymore, if that's what you're after. So yeah, I guess it depends on the request. I'd really need to like understand like why you really need me to unfollow this person. Right. Are you embarrassed the world sees me following this person? Yeah. I'm embarrassed I slept with them, too. Okay. And lastly, where do you draw the line with your partner and someone on social media who's, again, not on social media? Not a close friend or family. Following 10% is the line for 10% people. Liking, that's 23% is the line. Commenting, 33%. And DMing is 35%. So let me find out you DMed one of these people. Okay. But hear me out. What about you kind of swipe up with a reaction and then you're in the DMs? Like, I bet that's what a lot of guys do that are without DMs. No, I think in the DMs means like you have sent a message. I know. I know that, but I'm saying this is their gateway. Like, they just swiped up with a hard eye and now the DMs are unlocked. You know what I'm saying? You can unlock them other ways. And I don't like it. You don't need to be doing it. I know. I know. I'm just saying that could be a shady way where like, I just reacted. What? But it's like, she could so easily DM you back now. It's the line of communication has been open. Even like liking, I'm just like, sometimes I'll be like scrolling random shit and I'll see like one of my friend's partners liked it. And I'm like, for what? Liked your stuff? No. I mean, I'll see that they liked other stuff. And I'm like, what? Why are you? Why are you liking this? Yeah. And again, it's just like, some of it's the volume. It's you go to some girl's page and your man has liked everything she's posted. It's weird. And even worse, he hasn't liked everything you've ever posted. I know. No. Feels intentional. You better be hyping me every second of every day. And then that creates a different environment for me. Right. Okay. So then we asked you guys, do you have any hard and fast rules when it comes to this? And I loved the responses that we got for this. It was so vast. Like I, we could not get to the bottom of this slide. Like people really had a lot of feelings and it really oscillated from like, I don't care to like, everything's a hard line. The overwhelming theme was don't embarrass me. That, I mean, over and over and over again, do not embarrass me with how you act. You have a, you can have a long leash to do whatever you want. Don't embarrass me. Like if you're a dude, I'm going to talk directly to a dude. You're a dude. You have a long-term girlfriend. She's scrolling and she sees you flame emoji and all these girls, bikini pics, whatever, not famous celebrity, not Nicole Kidman, you know, not Giselle, like more accessible people of a certain level. Do you think she's going to like it? You know, the answer, you know, the answer. And if you don't, you're not a worthy partner or you just don't care, which is also crazy. Exactly. Exactly. And don't gaslight. You're going to gaslight. Her and like, what are you? You're so jealous. You're so insecure. Break up with that man. And then a lot, which came up after we're dating, you'd be posting me and actively engaging with me. And then that'll just change the way that I feel about you. Like a lot of people just feel like if you're liking stuff, it makes it look like you're open to engaging with that person. That's the thing too. What are you, what message are you trying to send? Also, do you want me doing this? Don't do stuff you don't want me doing. Again, like Raina said, but just to reiterate, let's say it again. Following bikini models is not disrespectful. Just harness that energy, ladies. You can look, follow. You cannot touch, which is like, comment, DM. I like that. My friends saw this, would they want me to be with you? I mean, like, I just see Shashank just like liking and commenting on every stop. And I'm like, that's so cute. Look how sweet he is. If you know the person, it's fine to interact. You know, who cares? If you don't know them, why are you engaging other than to start engaging with them? Right. No selfies. What does that mean? You can't like a selfie. You can't post one. You can't post one. I shouldn't be posting one. Men that post selfies. I mean, there's exceptions to every rule, but there's very. Very few exceptions to that rule. Well, men take them though. Shashank takes selfies all the time, like to show me his outfits. Not to post on Instagram stories. I don't know what he's like. I was just feeling myself. He's never done it, you guys. There's not. I would be like, based on who he is, that would make me laugh. If Shashank posted a selfie. Okay. Here's what a man should never do. A selfie that's like front facing, like this way. That's what I'm saying. A weird selfie of their like drip, maybe, but like they took. Like I take one like on my like nice nature walk. That's so embarrassing for a man. Yeah, like a duck face, Martha Stewart selfie, thirst trap. No. I love this one. No rules. He deleted it. everything except facebook marketplace i love a quiet man and then my husband just deleted his instagram and our relationship instantly got better and my ex-boyfriend followed every slut on instagram didn't bother he's too ugly current bf no instagram better life so there seems to be a correlation no porn accounts okay i think i say this on the show a lot you're allowed to draw whatever boundary you want your partner doesn't have to accept that but like this environment that you're in where you're going back and forth and you're like I don't like this and then you're being gaslit it's like you have to come to some type of agreement or you can't be with that person because it's ridiculous to act like social media doesn't matter we're so far past that and this is when you can check yourself with your friends so find your most secure friends maybe your older friends maybe friends that are kind of like us and ask them if you're being ridiculous because sometimes you don't know and especially if you are in a relationship that has some toxicity or already has some gaslighting and this person has made you jealous and insecure or that's not the case but again you have that previous trauma and you feel a little warped and you feel like you can't necessarily trust your gut and you don't know what's normal ask someone that you really look up to and respect that maybe is in a secure relationship or they don't have to be they can be single but just be like am I being crazy is this normal to want this is this out of pocket can I ask this of him like you don't have to be on this journey yourself in terms of determining if this is a boundary that is socially acceptable like Raina said you could have whatever boundary you want but I think this is always worth checking with your friends I'm laughing because our friend checked with me and I told her she was overreacting and look what happened oh my god but I do just I really liked him and he hadn't done anything that was like that crazy but she was right and I also like you have to remember your friends know their partners better than you do so I mean I just I'm also not going to invalidate my friends if you feel like something's going on then I believe you that you think that that something probably is going on when she told me this I had to be like that sucks and I gave her the example of Rob who I'm like most trustworthy guy husband we know and used to follow a lot of these types of accounts and has since dialed back and it was when he was younger and stuff like that but I don't know if I'm going to invalidate my friends if I'm going to do that but I also had the experience with my ex that I he was all he was shady and so it's just like I really validated her and it was like a who's to say type situation because there are two types of guys all kinds of types of guys well that only lasted like two more weeks so I was wrong if you have to have rules for your man on social media he does not respect you I mean that again a little bit of extreme statement but that's what I was saying earlier like the guys that really respect you know how to act yeah I haven't had to have conversations like this with people that in my in my gut I've I trusted the people I've had the most serious long-term relationships with are people whose phones I would never have thought to look at I wouldn't have looked at their social media but I have been the girl that is hacking into your social media reading everything crying accusing of stuff and every time I was right with those people and I know the other ones didn't cheat on me I mean I guess there's a possibility but like they didn't seem like those kind of people and I never did it and I can be two people in different relationships 100 well let's go through some of these emails that really caught our eye again thank you guys always for for sharing these are vastly different topics I'm excited to get into them both can I tell you something funny about our emails it just always makes me laugh is no one it doesn't matter what we ask you guys for every single email starts with I love you guys and you changed my life like you guys could not be more wonderful like you're writing emails about ridiculous and sometimes stuff that happened 20 years ago and every email starts with I love you both so much you changed my life so you guys are so funny the send-offs are always funny somebody just wrote thankfully I moved back to Boston shout out to sparkle eyes like you guys are just so funny I just I love your emails they're so special I know I I really do love you guys it'd be funny to start an email like you guys are okay but anyway I really wanted to send this in it's not it's just never like listen up it's like you change every single thing I thought about my life and what I wanted in my boundaries and I left a terrible relationship and I married an amazing man and I'm like oh my God oh really like it makes me so emotional okay so this one she says my boyfriend and I first started dating he got mad at me for posting a bikini photo to the gram not a thirst trap by any means we were on a hike coming back from the water and I was still just in a bikini because I hate that she's even having to I know this I know and I was still just in my bikini because I was wet and I didn't want to put clothes on cool nature photo I had to remove it otherwise I'd send girl send it to us don't think I have it anymore it was four years ago oh my God it was a whole fight meanwhile not even a full day later I'm scrolling and see a few posts from mutual friends that are bikini photos duh it's summer and he has liked every single one I brought it up to him saying that I don't think it's fair that he's liking these bikini photos but telling me I can't post one his reasoning was that since we were together I shouldn't show my body to others like that I mean I don't need to read anymore like this is some weird like Christian conservatism this is the most toxic masculinity like my woman won't be naked on the internet get out of here I said that's fine but then I don't think you should be able to like other girls and gassy me up in the comments that's crazy he didn't even like hers oh it's crazy also she's not like thirst trapping on like a rooftop at a pool she's like I'm on a hike also I'll do whatever I want with my body but this is the least sexualized it could be a hike yeah celebrities would be different but these are girls that we both know it's embarrassing how my boyfriend like all these bikini photos yeah yeah ignore mine completely yeah what are your thoughts on this this is four years ago early in our relationship however wait is she still with him oh my God this is her um I just assumed this was her ex sis we gotta talk could I go too hard no we take we get emails there's another one I didn't put in here and she was like so 13 years ago with my now husband it's like blah and it's like the only person she's still married I'm like oh no okay well you know what I was authentic to me and I keep all the same okay what are what are your thoughts on this this was four years my thoughts is that you were authentic to you however I know he would still not like me posting a photo of my bikini without him in it he's a bit on the insecure side dad cheated on his mom I've tried to get him into therapy okay so it sounds like things maybe have gotten a little bit better and what happened I'm not walking back what I said what happened years ago could have come from a different place if he's still pulling this this isn't just him not wanting her to post the bikini pic this is him liking the other stuff it's the combination of the two things like you said it paints the full picture not liking hers because he's like I'm mad I'm mad that you did this like it's so it's just it's it's controlling in a way that's unfair it clearly comes from a different place like I understand there's always like our friend that this happened to that we keep referencing she said to me like I understand his need for attention and I understand how he grew up and his insecurities I understand his need for outside validation and I was like that doesn't mean it has to be your problem yeah we can work through these with people and have empathy for what they've gone through but it shouldn't end up like affecting you so deeply yeah I mean listen if everything is else is great in this relationship and you don't really feel like he's controlling in other ways like what you've described to us is there's red flags all over it but if things have improved over four years like people can change I I believe that so again this isn't me walking back my original authentic thoughts but we don't know everything else in the ins and outs in the relationship but you can show your body on social media like for whatever reason you want I mean if you're in a relationship I really don't think you should post something that feels really like a thirst trap but if you're really just like I work hard on my body and I want to show it off like shashank would not like me full butthole on the gram so it is there's different vibes like I feel like I'm envisioning this hiking bikini photo and it's not the same as me like I'm at the beach taking a selfie they'll like get my abs and my tits and I'm like you know like the sweaty skin like there's different vibes okay well you know you'll do what you're gonna do girl usually we don't get these emails when you guys are still together so um this really thank you for sharing of course and we just hope he's like changed I mean it's like we saw a real redemption of Zach on Mormon Wives I was literally thinking of Zach of course if anybody's listening to this and didn't think of Zach yeah I mean and again this is a reality show it's been edited and well that was a real villain art because he was so young also he was raised in the Mormon church he was like 23 on the first season of that show and I think he just got exposed to better ideas and I don't like the most about this is that he was liking other people's stuff yeah because like I can understand of him if there's somebody with this cheating trauma with his parents and if there is some sort of conservative upbringing you see your partner in a bikini and you're like that's a sin or some but he's liking other ones that gives like I'm allowed to do that's giving like manosphere a hundred percent one-way monogamy type stuff I'm allowed to do this but you can't yes okay do you want me to read the next one or do you want to go for it no I don't like to read okay she this one's a little different tone so I'm writing because I've become concerned about the public social media activity of my married brother over a period of time I noticed that he has been leaving comments on Instagram photos of women the only fans looking kind that go beyond casual compliments rather than simply liking posts or leaving fire heart emojis he has publicly written statements such as calling someone the most beautiful girl in the world and claiming that he has sent her a gift seeing these comments surprise me because they appear to be openly flirtatious and are visible to anyone who views the post my concern is not based on a single isolated interaction but on the nature of the comments themselves and the potential implication for his marriage and personal well-being I know my brother tends to avoid conversations about stressful or emotionally difficult topics so I've been hesitant to raise the issue directly at the same time I worry that this kind of public behavior could have unintended consequences whether in his relationship or if he is interacting with accounts that are not genuine I brought this to the my sister-in-law but she seems to be on the side of boys will be boys and it's his money so we can decide how he spends it should i be concerned if she's not okay i didn't um i glanced at it and thought i had my take but i didn't know she'd already talked to his wife i want to talk to the wife i'm surprised i've never heard a woman be like it's his money let him send gifts to these women if he would like to i mean if that's your brother's relationship and the wife's fine with it then that is none of your business you're totally in your right to be like this is embarrassing our family yeah i see this and it's embarrassing and it's gross also i'm curious how she's finding these comments like how is she finding right because it's not the days of old where you could see this stuff in a feed which still i can't stress enough was so insane those days crazy like 2015 i'm curious how she's finding this out but like yes okay if the wife did not know about it i think you're totally within your right to discuss it say to your brother and it should be pretty easy like hey man i noticed this and it's fucking weird and it's better that i say this to you than your wife again it's one of those things if you never know what's going on in someone's marriage but i know what's going on in my brother's marriage i know that they're in a monogamous relationship i can't even picture this scenario but if i saw it happening i would assume something was going on with them and maybe like parenthood had gotten to them and i would be like matt what's going on here is this like some outlet and you need validation like you can talk to me i'm your sister i love you i wouldn't want to see this as your wife is steph aware of this has she seen this is this an agreement you guys have going on because if not this is coming off as disrespectful like i would absolutely confront him in a kind way but like i don't really see the point if the wife knows but it sounds like maybe she can't stand up to him i don't know what they got going on it's still like none of your business you talk to the wife and that's it she's like it's his money and he'll spend it on only fans models if he wants to okay well yeah because we i don't know if he's going to i glanced at this email and you said like that's none of my business i was like that's absolutely my business i'm going to say something my brother but now i see that like it's interesting she went to the sister-in-law it's just your standards for your own relationship are not other people's standards for their relationship and you can't force them on other people and like i would like to i would like to say to women like have standards for how you're treated you know but not everybody does i think that like we've seen everybody on the cast of summer house screaming amanda batula have standards for 10 years she's not gonna she's not going to i mean it's also this is a little bit of a difference between friends and family like in my family you can say this if my brother my brother can he can talk out a turn to me he can say some to me that i would say that's none of your business and he still would say it like there was a fight we had years ago where i was going to do something and he really came at me and he was right but i hate didn't want to hear it in the moment and he really was like please don't do this thing i was thinking of doing and i got so mad at him it was such a fight my mom had to get involved and like he was right because he was like i think you're about to make a mistake and then so close siblings close family members i think you're allowed to be like i'm seeing this thing and i gotta say something we're family and it is better you than somebody else yeah their partner right all right well we solved it you're welcome okay guys well again last full episode in the la venice studio thanks for being along on the ride girl's got to eat.com girl's got a podcast instagram and tick tock i am ash has an instagram and tick tock follow along our trip this week follow along with reina reina greenberg instagram reina greenberg.com for her tour tickets for the fall it's coming up and subscribe on youtube watch on spotify full video or youtube and we will not see you thursday look at me we are taking off the second and the sixth for the 4th of july holiday so we will see you guys on my birthday july 9th for a snack next week have a great week and weekend guys bye you you