ShortHand: Gladiators

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Go to Chime.com forward slash disclosures for details. Hello. Hello. And welcome to a very special episode of Shorthand. We who are about to die. Are you not entertained? So many quotes. Not that I can remember any. I've got them in the back, don't worry. I've got them in the tank. My brain is just full of 300, which is not the same film, I realize. We're here to talk about. No, we're not. We're talking about what the Roman gladiatorial games were actually like. We're going to answer loads of questions for you, like did people really turn up in their thousands all over the Roman Empire to watch slaves hack each other to bits? Could honourable fighters really rise up the ranks and win their freedom? Did they really bring lions, tigers and bears, elephants and giraffes and all of that shit into the arena? Were there lady gladiators? And did Maximus Decimus Meridius, husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son, really have his vengeance? The answer to every single one of those questions I just posed, apart from the last one, is yes. And the reality is so much bloodier and loads more insane than it is in the films. So let's step into the arena. Here is the Shorthand. Before the Romans, a lot of Italy belonged to the Etruscans. And when the Romans wiped them out, they borrowed from a lot. Of the polytheistic Utrician traditions, things like animal sacrifice to help divine the future, a bundle of sticks, somehow representing divine leadership, and of course, gladiatorial combat. It actually started as a part of the Utricians' rites of death. They'd make enslaved people, or condemned prisoners, fight to the death at funerals. It's the same idea as human sacrifice, the idea being that spilling human blood helps to purify the dead person's soul. So having slaves fight to the death at your funeral was a good way to beef up your soul, ready for a great afterlife. Since killing slaves is a pretty costly business though, it would only happen for very wealthy folk. The first private Roman fight was in 264 BC, and then they carried on for years. People fucking loved it. And soon enough, they didn't want to have to wait until the next funeral. To see a fight. The spectacles were known as Munera, and they were originally held in the city's forum, which is the central plaza, the hub of Roman civic life. Temporary wooden structures were built to house more and more spectators, but they kept collapsing and killing people, not the people who were supposed to be killed. At one point, the collapse of a wooden amphitheatre killed at least 20,000 spectators. So to solve that problem, we had to build a wooden amphitheatre. To solve that problem, the Romans built permanent stone amphitheatres instead, which are less likely to fall down and make you go dead. Soon enough, aristocrats and important generals were holding grand ceremonies of bloodshed to demonstrate their wealth and importance to the populace. And then, they were made even more important by the most important Roman citizen of them all, the big JC. Not Jesus Christ. We're of course talking about Julius Caesar. So time for a little rewind recap. Rome wasn't always an empire. At the start, it had kings like everyone else. But then they lost the kings and replaced them with a democratic senate. Lost is a nice way of putting killed all of. Now, this democratic senate was a collective of smart lads who ruled together, with no one figurehead. And it stayed this way for around 500 years. But then, Julius Caesar, a mastermind general who thrashed the Gauls, invaded Britain and massively expanded the empire. And well, he soon had other ideas. Him and his two mates, Crassus and Pompey, formed an alliance and started hoarding political power. Caesar was hot shit, and he knew it. So when a bunch of nerds back at the senate said that he had to dismantle his army and slink back to Rome, Julius Caesar said, fuck that, and invaded. He won. And pretty much ruled unchallenged. And Julius Caesar absolutely loved a Munera. To celebrate winning his civil war, he threw a massive gladiatorial games, even throwing in a former senator to fight to the death. And then he threw another huge set of games at the tomb of his daughter, who had died in childbirth. And this one had the gladiators, obviously, but also stage plays and beast fights and also a draw. And then he held another one in honour of his father, who had been dead for 20 whole years. And that was the one where 320 pairs of gladiators in silver armour fought each other at once. Caesar eventually got so powerful that he named himself Dictator Perpetuo, which you can probably figure out, but it means dictator for life. But a few months later, a few senators, not quite so hot on this eternal rulership idea, burst in and killed Julius Caesar. Julius Caesar's heir, Octavian, later known as Augustus, took sole power, solidified that power, and the Roman Republic became the Roman Empire. And before we move on from J.C., let's clear up the Caesar thing. Yes, Caesar was part of his name, but he was so influential that it was also used later as a sort of catch-all word for leader. It's also the origin for the German word Kaiser and Russian Tsar. And I believe that actual classicists don't say Caesar, they say Kaiser. But I always think that's funny when you get told off for pronouncing things in Latin wrong. I'm like, you don't know how they said it. You weren't there. It's a dead language. Exactly. Anyway, let's get back to the arena. The first emperors of Rome threw gladiatorial games to demonstrate their power, celebrate military victories or birthdays, and also to mark visits from officials. They'd also put them on to distract people from political issues. The people couldn't get enough, and soon Rome needed a colossal venue. Nice. The Colosseum was opened in 80 AD. You've been, haven't you? I have. And the Colosseum is actually not its proper name. It was just called that later. It was actually called the Flavian Amphitheater. That was like the original name for it because it was built by the Flavian dynasty. And then later everyone was like, fuck them. Let's just call it the Colosseum because it's so colossal. So yes, built a long bloody time ago. And by then, Rome was the biggest city on earth with a population of more than 1 million. When the Colosseum opened, it was inaugurated with 100 days of games. And over those 100 days, 9,000 animals were slain. Up to 50,000 spectators could fit inside. And they came from all sections of Rome. Roman society. And the Colosseum, like Hannah said, I have been. And I went and did a tour of like the underground as well, like where they used to keep all of the gladiators and the slaves and all the animals and all of that. And it is an incredibly impressive structure. And it is incredibly elaborate, actually. It's almost like they were putting on, it wasn't just a fight, they were putting on a show. It's like a giant theater because there's trap doors everywhere, there's ramps, there's pulley systems, there's all sorts to surprise attack people with, animals and lower them in and take them out and do all sorts of crazy things. Very, very dramatic. flood it wouldn't they and do like sea battles yeah yeah yeah they'd flood it put full-on ships in there do sea battles it was all going on at the coliseum so that's enough context let's now talk about the big bloody bastards themselves the gladiators gladiators tended to be slaves or condemned prisoners and a lot of both would have been soldiers who'd been captured in the many many many many wars across the continent and originally captured soldiers were made to fight with their own weapons and armor in their own style so a lot of the style cues of the gladiators which were very different from roman soldiers armor came from foreign tribes and empires samnites were a tribe from campania who rome absolutely creamed back in about 290 bc and because so many captured samnites became gladiators they gave their name to the most common class of fighters the samnite class would be heavily armed with ornate helmets a large shield and armor on their right arm and left leg that's you've colored that picture in at school and they also carried a short sword called a gladius so-called because it divides the throat which in latin is gullum divideri and who carries a gladius a gladiator of course and that is all from hannah's etymology corner the thracian class i remember these guys they're my favorites named after the soldiers from thrace had curved swords and a small shield that they held in their fists the marilmo class were known slightly unfortunately as the fishermen after the fish-shaped crests on their helmets and the retarius would have no helmet and no armor just a padded shoulder piece and they just have to do what they could with a weighted net and trident and then there were the esedarius class who fought with chariots like the british celts the equits entered on horseback the sagittarius used bows and arrows and the andabata were a helmet that deliberately prevented them from being able to see so they'd effectively be fighting blindfolded most monera started with animal hunts men known as bestiari would chase deer ostriches lions tigers crocodiles bears and even elephants around the world and they would fight with them and they would fight with them the arena and then slay them for the bay and crowd sometimes animals would be brought out just to publicly tear criminals or christians to pieces offenders were thrown to ravenous dogs lions and bears and after all this animal stuff lots were drawn and war trumpets blown it was on the gladiators would be paired up for a bit of contrast so they were evenly matched but not identical most fights would be fought between the men and women and the men and women would be between big lads who were slower but more heavily armed and then quicker but less protected fighters most of the time it was one battle at a time but sometimes there were master duels with hundreds of pairs fighting at once naturally gladiators themselves had very little choice but to fight if they didn't play ball they were punished with leather whips or red hot metal bars so i'm a gladiator i'm a gladiator i'm a gladiator i want to tell you about a new podcast that has me hooked it's called burden of proof luigi manzioni and it's from our friends over at abc audio and 2020 if you already know the story you already know the story in december 2024 shots rang out on a manhattan sidewalk and united healthcare ceo brian thompson was shot dead luigi manzioni has pled guilty to federal charges but there's so much more to this story than what unfolded on the street that day in the new podcast burden of proof luigi manzioni abc news legal analyst brian buckmeyer goes deep into this case and what it all means he'll unpack the murder itself the two men at the heart of the story and how this case has affected the conversation about health care in america whatever you feel or think you know about the case of luigi manzioni and brian thompson this podcast will make you think more critically follow the burden of proof luigi manzioni wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on apple podcast by subscribing to twenty and twenty one and i'll see you in the next podcast 2020 true crime plus again that's burden of proof luigi manzioni insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed progressives name your price tool for years with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy you're picking out your very first policy you're picking out your or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law still though some resisted once a bunch of germanic prisoners decided to strangle each other in their cells instead of putting on a show for the romans and of course then there was spartacus who led an uprising with 70 other trainee gladiators in capua and went on a rampage all over italy and people kept on joining the spartacan cause as they went and they defeated four roman armies on nine separate occasions after two years though a roman army finally beat them in apulia in the south then as a warning six thousand of the spartacus followers were crucified along the appian way which goes between capua and rome i think it's the second scene of the film that people remember god i can't remember anything people remember yes that one i am spartacus yeah so am i blah blah blah yes and then there's a one at the end where they're walking along the road and it's just loads of crucified people and they're like oh my god i'm spartacus i'm spartacus and they're like oh my god i need to re-watch this film i like i keep meaning to re-watch it but i'm like do i have three hours it's so long it would have been good if it was on the plane but in life i don't think i've got three hours sorry after the mass crucifixion the number of gladiators that could be owned by private citizens was strictly controlled to stop them from doing another uprising one would assume needless to say a gladiator fight was an absolutely brutal tactical and it's hard to imagine wanting to go down to the local arena to watch people die all day but enemies criminals and slaves were not considered to have a place in society criminals were thought to have rejected civilized society by doing crime and captured people were barbarians and they didn't have tv no they did not what else were they gonna fucking do no no one can read there's nothing to do so as well as that being able to stoically bear witness to death and bloodshed was a big point of pride in roman society and a core spartan value it's like again we're looking at it through the lens of our situations they were a completely different life a completely different way of doing things or different culture it's just the way that it was i think have you listened to painful attainment yet no because it starts with him talking about this is dan carlin's podcast and he does in horrible histories uh sorry hardcore history horrible history you he does a four-hour podcast about pain our obsession i would say with torture and violence and all sorts and he starts with the roman empire and basically asks how far have we really come from that point where we were enjoying this kind of visual spectacle i would say probably not that far but we do have to say that there wasn't actually that much of a difference between the movie and the movie itself and i think that's a really good point because it's a really good point because it's a really good point because it's a really good point because it's a really good point dying going on in the gladiator fights anyway i mean they're not much worth to you when they die are they exactly and that's what we learned when we went to the coliseum it's like they're expensive like to have a slave have a gladiator and then turn them into a full-grown man and then like have fed them and kept them for all that time it's not much use if they just keep getting murdered exactly how are you going to run the training camp in north africa and they weren't actually often fights to the death despite what the movies might do tell you firstly promoters like we said didn't want their prize fighters killed that's just bad business most of the time as soon as anyone was seriously wounded the fight was considered over though very quick sidebar we are not saying for a second that the spectacles weren't bloody huge numbers of criminals slaves and animals were indeed slaughtered in all sorts of very creatively horrific ways for the bay and crowd just saying that the gladiators didn't always die when a gladiator was declared the loser presumably after an injury they appealed for mercy by dropping their weapon and raising a finger then the emperor could decide to make his opponent end it all or not the crowd would call out to try and influence the emperor's judgment but the thumbs up thumbs down thing is probably a little bit of poetic license it mainly comes from a painting called polise verso where the crowd are all thumbs down in a victorious gladiator but that was painted in 1872 there was a gesture it's just we don't really know what it was many scholars think that the thumbs up was actually the sign for death, and a thumb in a closed fist meant leave him alone. But then there are other people who think that a handkerchief was waved, meaning mercy, but that seems a bit like white flag, apocryphalness to me. Anyway, what's important is not all fights in the gladiatorial arenas ended in death. It was probably around one in twenty. And at a time when one in five people didn't see their twentieth birthday anyway, that's not a terrible shout, because you could be in for some serious glory. Graffiti from the time also show slogans and fan messages for popular gladiators, like Celadus the Thracian, thrice victor and thrice crowned, the young girl's heartthrob, and Cessnus, the netter of young girls by night. Gladiator blood was considered by some to be a remedy even for impotence. Celebrated gladiators could earn big cash prizes or other treasures, or after years of victory, even their freedom. If a gladiator lived long enough to reach retirement, or just kept smashing maneras out of the park, he was given a wooden sword as a symbol, and freed. And all that goes some way to explain why quite a lot of people voluntarily signed up to be gladiators. That's right, not all gladiators were enslaved and forced to fight. By the end of the Roman Republic, more than half of gladiators were free men who became gladiators by choice. And why on earth would someone do that? Well, quite a lot of them were social outcasts or beggars looking for a role in society. Others were discharged soldiers who just loved a scrap, and there were even upper-class patricians and knights who wanted to just show off. And maybe the emperor might, on a whim, pick up a spectator from the crowd and have him thrown into the arena. In ancient Rome, cowardice was the. worst sin of all. And to fight and die bravely was the greatest honour. So naturally, some people chased that glory all the way to the end. And there's one more category of people who you might not have expected to see in a gladiatorial arena. Women, the ladies, the galdem. Evidence of female gladiators is sparse, but they definitely existed. We know that many women joined in with the animal hunts at the start of the Manera, and that some fought in the arena with weapons for entertainment. By 1 AD, they were a common fixture in the fights. But we do have to burst that girl boss bubble slightly, because mostly these fights were not taken particularly seriously. A lot of the fights involving women were novelty acts, and apart from fighting other women, they'd often be pitted against dwarves. And of course, they'd often be pitted against dwarves or animals. Still, a few of these female gladiators did make a name for themselves. Two fighters called Amazon and Achillea fought a fierce gladiatorial fight in 2 AD, which ended in an honourable draw. Women were encouraged to stay in shape, mostly to ensure a healthy childbirth. Some even wrestled. And those who excelled were encouraged to go into gladiatorial combat. By 6 AD, Nero held games featuring a series of female gladiator fights. These games were held to honour his mother, who, incidentally, he murdered. Not sure that quite makes up for it, but nice try. Now, Roman society never quite got the hang of it, though, and the lewd jokes often got out of control. All female gladiatorial combat was banned in 200 AD by Emperor Septimus Severus, because he thought it was breeding disrespect for women. Probably the last person you would expect to see in an arena would be the emperor himself, but one of them was mad enough to do it. Emperor Commodus was the son of Marcus Aurelius, a revered leader and stoic philosopher whose writings are still studied to this very day. And you can see him in the opening scenes of Gladiator with Russell Crowe. Marcus Aurelius was the last of what is known as Rome's five people. Good emperors. And the last emperor of Pax Romana. An age of peace, calm and stability for the Roman Empire. And, you can probably guess from all of those lasts I just said, Commodus, not so great. And Cerruti is going to tell you exactly why. He was paranoid and power-hungry, a terrible combination in the leader. And he renamed Rome the colony of Commodus. And named the months of the year. Here, after his various titles. Even the Roman people were renamed Commodanius. Aelius Lampridius wrote at the time, Commodus lived rioting in the palace amid banquets and in baths along with 300 concubines. He was not free from the disgrace of intimacy with young men, defiling every part of his body in dealings with persons of either sex. And his sister, did I make that up? Yeah, it's a lot of that, isn't there? Still, among all the personality cultics, and orgies, he also found time to jump in the gladiatorial arena. While Commodus' dad was known for his brains and good leadership, Commodus was all about the bod. He claimed to be descended from Hercules himself, and started appearing in the arena, re-enacting Hercules' various feats, dressed in lion skins. And soon, he took on other gladiators too. He was never in any real danger, though. He'd just get out. And spar with a defenceless opponent. And every match ended in the same way. Opponents would eventually submit to the emperor, because they didn't have a choice, and he would accept their surrender. Aside from the fights, Commodus would also slaughter wild animals in front of the crowds, mostly from a protective platform with a bow and arrow. Once he killed three elephants and a giraffe. And it's said that he once killed a hundred lions in a single day, and I don't believe it. We've even read accounts of Commodus asking for amputees to be tethered together and brought out into the arena, and then he'd club them all to death and say that he'd slain a giant. And say what you like about the Roman populace loving fucking bloodshed. This was too much for them. Even for them. Yes. I don't know why I'm thinking of human centipede. Oh god! As soon as it was like. Like tethered together. I think maybe the Romans would have liked that, who knows. The most popular opinion of Commodus' hijinks in the arena was that it was not for an emperor to be doing, and actually very much beneath him. Shouldn't he be out fighting barbarians and protecting their empire and their legacy and their people and their men and their children and stuff? There's a problem, they seem to have a lot of showman emperors. Was it Nero who just wanted to be an actor? Yeah. And they were like, can you? Just get back to fucking work. Exactly. And it didn't help that Commodus paid himself an enormous salary for his arena appearances, which were so big, they strained the economy. Oh my god. I want to tell you about a new podcast that has me hooked. It's called Burden of Proof, Luigi Mangione. And it's from our friends over at ABC Audio and 2020. If you already know the story. In December 2024, shots rang out on a Manhattan sidewalk and UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was shot dead. Luigi Mangione has pled guilty to federal charges. But there's so much more to this story than what unfolded on the street that day. In the new podcast, Burden of Proof, Luigi Mangione, ABC News legal analyst Brian Buckmeyer goes deep into this case and what it all means. He'll unpack the murder itself, the two men at the heart of the story, and how this case has affected the conversation about healthcare in America. Whatever you feel or think you know about the case of Luigi Mangione and Brian Thompson, this podcast will make you think more critically. Follow the Burden of Proof, Luigi Mangione, wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen ad-free on Apple Podcasts by subscribing to 2020 True Crime Plus. Again, that's Burden of Proof, Luigi Mangione. Insurance isn't one size fits all. And shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed. They've enjoyed Progressive's Name Your Price tool for years. With the Name Your Price tool, you tell them what you want to pay. And they show you options that fit your budget. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. In December 2024, shots rang out on a Manhattan sidewalk. And UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was shot dead. But there's so much more to this story than what unfolded on the street. that day. Follow the Burden of Proof, Luigi Mangione, wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad-free on Apple Podcasts by subscribing to 2020 True Crime Plus. Insurance isn't one-size fits all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that doesn't fit. Enough hunting for discounts. Trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages. So, since we're here, let's talk about the films. In Gladiator, the original, Marcus Aurelius chooses his general, Maximus Decimus Meridius, that's Russell Crowe, to be the next emperor of Rome. But Commodus doesn't like that, so he has his father killed and orders the execution of Maximus. Maximus escapes and gets sold into slavery, but works his way back to the Colosseum as a gladiator. This film won five Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor for Big Old Russ. So how does it match up to the facts? Well, firstly, Maximus never existed, though he is inspired by real figures. Narcissus, for example, a fighter who killed Commodus in real life, and also Lucius Quintus Sintadius, who was a farmer who worked his way up the military ranks. And was appointed emperor when Rome was in danger of being invaded. He stopped the invasion and stepped down after 15 days and went back to his farm. You can't help but feel they were just like, you're king now. We're going to stand back here. We're going to let you be murdered by these barbarians. As we already told you, Marcus Aurelius absolutely did exist. But he had no problem with Commodus being emperor. And they actually ruled together for three years before Aurelius died of plague. I didn't know that. In terms of what happened in the gladiatorial arena, the film is actually pretty good. There was even a bit in the original script where gladiators are doing some sponsored product placement for ancient Roman brands, which absolutely definitely happened. But they took it out because they thought that modern audiences wouldn't believe it. What's actually going to happen in Gladiator 2 is the boy in the first film, Lucius, Commodus' nephew and Marcus Aurelius' grandson, he's going to be the key. And it's set about 20 years after the original. So the film sets off with Lucius being settled down with a wife and kids in North Africa. But then two co-emperors, Caracalla and Geta, invade him and he is made into a slave. And just like in the first one, he uses his super fighting skills to make it in the big Colosseum and get back on top. So it's basically the same. It's the same plot. Okay, good. Just checking. So again, the central characters are subject to a little poetic license. The real Lucius actually died way earlier, before even Commodus' rule. So he definitely didn't grow up to be handsome and great at fighting. But the two emperors, played by Joseph Quinn from Stranger Things and Fred Hershinger from White Lotus, are indeed real. They were the two sons of the he couldn't choose between them. They spent their whole co-rule fighting over who got the best parts of the empire. But in reality, Caracalla soon had Geta murdered by his guards. Caracalla then went on to have Geta's image wiped from paintings, killed all of his supporters and became a solid gold piece of shit solo emperor. Once, when he saw a satirical play mocking him in Alexandria, he ordered the massacre of everyone involved, which amounted to thousands of people. And he was also one of those kill-em-all kind of invaders too, slaughtering the populations of any city that he conquered. And as we have made abundantly clear, we haven't seen Gladiator 2 yet. But firstly, quite a lot of the actors seem to be riding on rhinoceroses. And somehow, gladiators did fight them with nets and with swords. But apparently, riding was a bit too far. They did not ride on the rhinos. It's probably impossible to ride on a rhino. You'd have to have the biggest fucking child-birthing hips in the world to spread your legs. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪