She Needs To Divorce Him | Financial Audit

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Click the link in the description below and see the new dollar-wise for yourself. I want you to be on the next episode of financial audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances, with an interesting personality, or a story, or a life, or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. And remember to click the link in the description below. Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm 26. I'm Michael. I'm 26. I'm from St. Mary's County, Maryland. And this is financial audit. Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. Really nice to meet you, Jamie. As always, starting with the one in front of me. What do you do for a living up there? I am a medical assistant. Sure. What are you assisting? I work in primary care currently. Okay. Well, probably not as much money, but let's say, I don't know, what do you make? I make 19 an hour. Yeah, not as much money. Okay. Honestly, St. Mary County. I have no idea the cost of living in St. Mary's County. I don't know where it is. Maryland, sure. I mean, in general, Northeast does tend to be more expensive, so I go off of that, making that 19 a little harder. The 19 down here, you know, it wouldn't be the end of the world. How many hours a week are you working? 40. So it has your account per paycheck. What's that per paycheck basis? That's a little complicated currently. Is it? Yeah, it's very complicated. So technically, it should be about 24 a month, but currently, I had a credit card garnished my wages, so I'm missing about 800 a month out of that paycheck. Okay. So what do you make a month, then? So what has the account now is what, 850 plus 850, whatever that is, 16 something, 17. 17, 100. Okay. 17, 10. Well, that's not enough to live on. No. Are you guys married? No. No. No, we are not. What's the status? Engage. We are engaged. We are engaged. Congratulations. When did you guys get engaged? Christmas? When's the marriage? We don't know. No date. Yeah. We haven't got to figure that out yet. Well, Michael, what do you do for a living? I am a fry cook, and well, in the morning and then at night, I have a second job cleaning. Okay. Cool. What's your hourly? As a 40 hours at my fry cook job, and then probably like another 20, 25 at my second job cleaning. Yeah. I mean, you're working your butt off, and you kind of have to. If she's only making 1700, but she's making 40 hours, I feel like your wage should be more. Okay. Okay. Well, what do you make out on a monthly basis? Nat. Um, if it was like 3400 a month from my fry cook job, and then- Okay. So yours makes no sense. 19 hours. 19 hours. Nams 40. Nams 52. Fight it by 12. I don't see this as pre-tax. No, you're not getting taxed at 50% also get my insurance and all that kind of stuff comes on. Yeah, but does it add up to 50% I am I sure you know you're take on pay? Yes. 19 an hour. No. It's not your take on pay. Like that's actually the stupidest answer I know you're not your take on pay. 19 an hour. Come on. So. Okay. So what's your, so why is your account monthly with everything combined? You're two jobs, Michael. Uh, 40 400 you're wrong. No. It'd be 42 hundred sorry. It's two hundred. You're wrong. You have to be wrong. You want me to pull up my stuff my face. Yeah, actually. Cool. That might be good. I know. Are you hyper inflating? Me. No, I make 28 an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hold that. Makes more sense. I actually have his recent pay subs too. What help in my email? Okay. Yeah, pull it up. Um. Pay review. Okay. Okay. You make some of the weirdest sounds I've ever been doing. Sorry. You're just like every five seconds and there's another one. What are you doing? Do you exist? You're alive? I think so. I think I'm just a heavy breather. Even our roommate, Adam always says I'm a heavy breather. He thinks I'm sleeping. Who? Who? Uh, Adam, like when I'm breathing, he thinks I'm sleeping because I breathe so heavy. Adam? That's the roommate. That's the roommate. How the fuck did I know your roommate's name? No, that's just fake name. Sorry. I didn't mean that. How would I even know you have a roommate? No sarcasm. No joking. Talk the fans. Thank you. Sorry. I was just trying to say something about it. Well, I'm breathing or making weird noises. You're just expecting me to know you live with someone or who you live with? No. I was just trying to explain. Are you talking to her? No. It's talking to you. Do you ask me? Do you ask why I make weird noises? But you're telling me about someone that no context. I would not understand who you're talking about. I mean, that's true. Shall I speak to people? That's crazy. I don't think so, no. That blows my mind. I mean, yeah, your paycheck is, I'm sorry. I apologize. Oh, hopefully it broke so I can get you a better phone because that one's a piece of shit. That. Yeah, she makes that much money. Okay. Yeah, you must have insane premiums or something on your health insurance. Okay, guys. So your household income is much better because of him, kind of strong, but he's working his ass off. Yeah. That's why he's probably a little loopy and he just starts talking to me like five sentences ahead. He doesn't get much sleep at all. Yeah. Probably because he can't breathe. $1,900 is what you guys take home on a monthly basis. What's going on? What are we talking about? A lot. I mean, this is it at this point. It's either. This is it. Yeah. Either way. Either way. Both of you are just. Or just you. If we don't fix whatever we got going on financially and like relationship wise, it's over again. Again. Yeah. What are we saying this? Are we both aligned with the on the edge, teetering on the edge, or is this just a you thing? No, I can't agree with it will probably be the breaking point if we can't figure this out. And we'll probably end up splitting again. Again. When did you guys split the first time? 2024. She cheated on me. Oh my. Oh my goodness. Financial out of it. Okay. This is like literally cheating out of it, I swear. You guys, what is with this show, man? We'll get into that at some point. So sniffing like a freak dude, sorry. Luckily for you guys, we probably cut it out, but whoo, it's bad in here. So what's going on? Now. We'll get back to 2024, but how are we at a breaking point? Now give me a picture of what is happening. What's going on? I'm at my breaking point currently. Okay. Wasn't engaged couple. That's not great. The here is a buddy. No. Not at all. Okay. What's going on? Okay. I'll talk with you. I get angry. The alpha is angry, and you don't want to see that. You get angry. Very angry. We all get angry. Yes, we do. What you choose to do with your anger is something completely different. Yes. What do you do when you're angry, yell or throw things or break things? Break things. Throw things. We've gone through multiple dog food bends because he likes to kick the dog food bone and break it. We had. At first of all, that's a weird thing to be just automatically attracted to an anger. It's also dirt when he's feeding the animals, so he just kicks in. Why don't you get angry feeding the animals, doing a chore? Yeah. This is what pushes them over the edge. What is wrong with you? Everything. But it's just with five kittens when you try to go into the, um, why are you having so many kittens? That's not even necessarily good. Oh, no, it's not good. We took in a stray, probably like in April, and during that time in Maryland, it would get like to 20, 30 degrees at night, and the cat was skin and bones. Was it evil? It was February. No, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. When, when he was, when we took bean and we had her for a couple of months, yeah. And we had her for a couple months, took her to the vet, the vet said, oh shit, she's pregnant. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Anyways. House. I mean, you do work six hours a week. I'm not saying you're reactions healthy, but I can see you, I mean, you probably, you know, you get less sleep, okay, I got that. So, but it's what you do with it. What happens in the house, just kicking the bin? - No, we have holes in the doors, he's kicked the doors. - Hors. - Smaller, shovel, smaller hole. - Dude, you're not a 12-year-old kid going through puberty. - Yeah, well, I'm still emotionally like that, unfortunately, right now. - You're 26. - Yes, I am. - Acts like it, grow the fuck off. I'm gonna say you can't make mistakes in life. We all do throughout all of life, but we're not kicking and putting holes in walls. How long have you guys been together? - Going on nine years. - What the fuck? Okay, well, well, you guys got together. Very young, and not even concluding marriage, but I guess I'm not surprised. Why would you tie the knot? Getting with someone you're seeing essentially. Kind of a dangerous household. - Yeah, and so given what's going on emotionally, how he has a very short fuse, I normally take the kids. I'll do most of the lectures. - There are kids. Did I miss that? - Yes, there are kids. - There are kids. - We have two. - You're putting holes around the house when there's kids. - I think it was-- - You're kicking the cans when there's kids. - I did that before we had kids. But I have done it times. - Is he doing it while you have kids? - I have done it. - Did you have a freak? Okay. What does he raise his voice to? How loud does it get? One of these kids, a four-year-old. They have memories now. - Yeah, he can get pretty loud. Our latest argument I think was when we were cleaning. And it's just a little shit. Our daughter, she's four. She's still learning to clean up after herself. She's still learning to, you know, how to organize and do things. So he gets very irritated that she doesn't know how to do that yet. And she shuts down because we are in the process of trying to get her diagnosis of being like on the spectrum. But we're not, we're waiting on a doctor's appointment for that. Anyways, besides the point, but he is very angry that she does not pick up. - How does he act towards the kid? - At first, you're very calm, but after a certain point, it escalates too. - Two. - Yelling and-- - At the kid? - Yes. - No. - Yeah. - After what's her point? No, no, no. I'm not grazing past that. After what's her point? - Maybe like three times of asking her to pick something up? - Yeah. Let's say so. - The four-year-old. - Yes. - Yes. - Diagnostic autism? - Not yet. - Working on a doctor's appointment. - She's never pretty sure she does, yeah. - We'll see, okay. - But she was referred from her pediatricians to the autism center. - What's yelling at the kid? - Yes. - No, what's yelling at the kid? - You need to pick up your things. Pick this up, put it in the bin. - What's screaming? - Yes. She'll start crying and she'll shut down. - Yes, it's a four-year-old. What the fuck are you thinking? - I don't really think at the time when I'm doing it, I'm just mad. - How frequently? - On a weekly basis. - Okay, you don't think, but I have this every. - We do. - Yeah. - This is a kid. We don't screw around with kids. - Yes, sir. - I try not to. - Yes, sir. - You, yes, sir. You're out there literally doing it on a weekly basis. Don't yes, sir, me, you pathetic rat. Worm. Freak. What are you talking about? You do this on a daily basis, don't show up here. And yes, sir, me. You're screaming at the fuck kid. - Try to look good, yes, sir. You. This is a child. We don't fuck with kids. If it's another adult, maybe. Okay, we can talk about it. This is a kid you're screaming at. On a weekly basis, screaming. And throwing things. Tell me about the throwing things. Good. - He likes to throw like. Which he's not picking up her toys. He'll just throw them back in the bins. - Well, she's there. - Yeah. And just start cleaning up that way. - The flames on him 100%. But I do have to put a little flame on you for a second. Oh, why'd you produce another one with this? When that's happening? Because these kids don't consent to the coming of the world. I have to ask this. And then I'll lay into him, trust me. But why? Why do we bring another one? - The second one was not planned. It was an accident. - Oh, were you having sex unprotected? - Yes, sir. - Were you on birth control? - No. - Go fuck yourself then. Do you know how biology works? - Yeah, I'm in health care. - So shut up on planned. You're doing everything it takes to do it. - And how frequently does he throw my things? - We go through this pretty much every week when we clean up the house. - He's sick. - So what happens between you two in this situation? - Normally, just like the children. The children, I mean, the child's not a word. I end up shutting down as well. Just because I do not-- - I'm not protecting them. - I try to. - How? - I normally end up taking the kids and trying to calm them down at the same time. - Where do you take them? - We're still in the same house. Because we don't have any other place to take them. Or I'll try to calm her down. Or I'll take over cleaning and tell him, like, hey, just go do whatever. I got it. It's fine. I'll take care of it. And then I'll end up getting our daughter, like, you know, I'll set her up on the couch or something and put on one of her favorite TV shows. And then I'll just finish cleaning up the mess. - When was the last time there was a meltdown? Who have we had our argument? - No way. - Yeah. - Which was like the week before we came here. - It was a week ago. What happened then? - The big argument was in front of the kids was he was getting very angry throwing things and just being, like, passive aggressive and obnoxious. - That's the week of cow. - Yeah. - Oh, me, man. Well, I guess that lines up with every week. What triggered him? - I was sitting on the couch trying to, you know, I was about to get up and clean and he got angry that I wasn't doing anything and helping him. - Okay. Potential reasonable to be upset at. Now what you do next either becomes reasonable or unreasonable. Continue. - But, you know, as the way that I grew up going back to a little bit there, it was a very, it was a very, not a very good upbringing at all. So I shut down when he gets very angry. - Okay. - And it calls me a lot of anxiety. - No, I get that. That part's fine. But you weren't cleaning and what did he do? That's what I want to know. I understand you shut down. But what did he do to make you shut down? - He starts when he starts cleaning. It's very passive aggressive and throwing things and being annoyed. - What's the passive aggressive? Like what's he doing? - I was throwing the toys back in the bins, walking around, stomping his feet. - You have like toy bins. - When you're cleaning, why aren't you just picking up to your dad with kids? Why aren't you just picking up? Why are you stopping around throwing shit? - I have no excuse for it. I just get angry and that's just what I do. - Why though? Why is that your reaction? Why are you so upset at it? - Because it irritates me. Whenever I'd get off, so I worked my second job Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And I try, while she was on, returning to leave. Well, unpaid and returning to leave. I would get home Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And before I would go to my second job, I would try my best to help pick up the house and get all of her toys that she had left everywhere. I'd pick them up, put them in the bin, and then when I would get home, I'd like between 12 or 1. The house would look like a bomb had went off again. - But mind you at the same time though, I had a C-section. So I couldn't physically get up and clean as much as I used to be able to. - And that's why I would get angry whenever I would try to get our daughter to clean. And we're not clean, but pick up her toys. Like when she's done playing with them, put it back in there. But do we blow the cup when they don't? - I do. - You do once a week at a minimum. - It got to the point to where when we had our first baby. - For your old, yeah. - His mother took her for a good part of her life because his mom was. - When, 2022? - Yeah, his mom was physically afraid that he would hurt her. So we missed her. - Oh my. What is happening? - Who am I talking to right now? That is insane. What did she see for that to happen? - Just his anger in general. And like I would call her on the phone because I had really bad postpartum being my first child. So I would call her a lot of times crying because our first child, she had a lot of medical things going on. So I would call her crying because I didn't have any help. And he got very angry, very easily with her because she wouldn't take a bottle. She was coughing up a lot of stuff. She was having a hard time breathing. So she, his mom end up taking her for a good part of her life. - How long? - About six months. - Geez. - Now this is my concern. Bro hasn't stopped in four years with his anger issues. Why is this the last chance? - Because I thought that he would change. - Why did you think that? - Huh? - Because he said that he would. - When? - Multiple occasions. - And he didn't. - No. - There is, he's a piece of shit. He's done. I brought him off. Okay? He's. Now when I'm talking to you, you are something that I is able to make a choice. So why the fuck are you still there? So we can't be in a house where it's boring abusive towards the kids. Roman shit at the kids. Near the kids. Near the kids. Yeah, screaming, screaming, top of the long screaming at the kids. Right? Or is he just talking like this or is like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah. He's like that to the kids. He's pretty loud. That's insane. That is disgusting. Why are you still there? Because he's not going to leave. You're the only one unfortunately that has the agency. Yeah. It's because I came from a broken family. We both did. Right. Don't you want to get away then? I do. And I want to break those generational curses. But you're not. You're literally just staying. And again, to be clear, I know I'm ramping on you right now. That's because I've crossed them off my list. He's done. You are the person that can leave. Because I thought that keeping our family together is better. Is it when that family gets screamed at once a week and stomped and thrown? Is it? Is that really better? No. It's not. Not at all. Then this is your last chance. How was this your last chance? You guys broke our previews, right? Yes. When did you break up? The 2024. Also, the kid was very much in the picture. Yes. How long were you broken up? About six months. Why did you get back together? Because that was the time. The 2024 was my first breaking point. And that's when I left. And that's when I actually, that's when the cheating comes into play. There's cheating now. Yes. No. My f***. Guys, what the f*** are we doing here? Yeah. She cheated. Oh, she cheated. Yeah. Well, you know what? Maybe the first reasonable time. Yeah, I can't disagree with that. No shit. Piece of shit. Stop trying to look good. You sitting here quiet talking. Yeah. Yes, sir. Yeah. I'm so bad. You. What's wrong with you? We'll get into that in a bit. But I still need to know what's going on the household today. How many holes are in the walls in this house? Walking around. Just the one and then the door. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a house for kids. No, it's not. Where shit is being thrown? It's very similar to how I grew up. And it's very. Wait, that's just like the fourth time you said that. Yeah. It's very confused why you're there then. It's like you grew up with it. You hate it. But you're like, yeah, let's do it again. Are any of your parents abusive? Yes. Why the fuck are you being with an abusive piece of shit? Because I thought that keeping my family together was better and I do love him. And it's. Yeah, it's very hard. And I don't want to be. Yeah, love is toxic. Love can get toxic. I will literally pay you to help your friends save money and that's fucking crazy. This is your one chance to make me your financial sugar daddy. So listen up. 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They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues. But did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just plump, dewy hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. It underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. You don't want to leave? You told me this is your last chance. Why is this your last chance? Inform me on that. Educate me on what that means. I'm tired of the yelling, I'm tired of the abuse, basically, I'm tired of everything and I just want change. So you ever put his hands on you? No. Really? And that's that was my one breaking point back in 2024 because I know the signs. What? My like him starting to put his hands on me. You said no and now you're saying he started too. No, that I know the signs. I'm someone starting. Someone starting to like. Did you start to? No. What are you saying? In 2024, when I first left, that's why I left because it was getting to the point to where if I didn't leave, it was going to happen. What was happening? Tell me. I need to know. The yelling, the screaming, the stomping, throwing things. Well, that's the same as today. Yes. So what's the difference? Why would you come back into that? I'm confused. You literally just copy and paste it exactly what's happening now. So what? I'm confused. That's when we got back together about six months later when he said that he was going to change. You're in a half ago now. Yes. If that made you leave the first time, the last year and a half, that's never across your head? It has. A lot. What? Push you out the door the first time, though, that is not there today. Again, you're kind of copying and pasting answers, not giving me specifics. What happened to you that got you out of the house that is not existing today or within the last year and a half? I would say at that time, I was working two jobs and I had money to be able to live on my own. It's a financial thing today. Thank you. That's an actual answer. You're right. 1,700. You wouldn't be able to live on your own. It's actually two kids. Who in your life knows what's happening at this household? The roommate. Okay. Yeah. The roommate. That's right. You're special. My best friend, Sarah. Okay. Sarah knows that it's not the best living situation. She actually no longer lives with us because of the roommates. Okay. We'll get into the roommate in a bit. He was very excited to talk about the roommate at the beginning. Yeah. It seems to be his issue when clearly I think the issue is he screams at your throw shit. I screamed at them because I got consent. Did you get consent to scream at her throw shit? No. Okay. Yeah. So. So what's the dynamic at a house right now? Do you consider yourself the aunties? Yeah. I do, we're the ring that his mom had. Oh my gosh. Do you guys sleep in the same bed? No. I currently sleep on the couch. And why is that? It's easier because our newborn does not sleep very well. That's why? Yeah. He doesn't like sleeping in his bed. You want to sleep in the bed with someone who screams at you on a multi-day basis. Well, no, but the bed is more comfortable than the couch. Okay. We don't have intimacy either anymore because I sleep on the couch. I'm sure now. I mean, you don't have to sleep together, but okay, how often we. Not at all. That was the last time. A while, probably before the baby was even born? Mm-hmm. Once before. Has he ever pressured you? No. Really? That would totally line up with this personality. But I'm glad to hear what he doesn't. I know what no is. Do you? Screamer, yell or stop her, throw her holes in the walls? Yeah. It's a lot. So I sleep on the couch because of one, I mean, the baby does not sleep. Well, at all, and I know that he's working two jobs. I get it. He works a lot. And. I can't believe how much you're defending a guy that is actually abusive. This is crazy. It is. And then we all know that this is what happens, that the women in the situation will defend it, but to witness it live and in person is blowing my mind. I do. No shit. Probably to Sarah, right? I do. Probably to the family, the friends, the roommate. I defend him a lot with a lot of everyone. Why? Why? Just because you love him doesn't mean he's a good guy, doesn't mean he's a good parent, doesn't mean he's a good partner, doesn't mean your relationship is good, doesn't mean this is healthy for your kids. I'm not saying you don't love him, love can be toxic. It is a very toxic relationship. We do not communicate well because of it. So tell me about that then. If we're going to go through this conversation, go through the finances, tell me how we're communicating at the house. Not at all. No. I don't like to really talk a lot about certain things about anything at all because I know that he's going to get angry. Great. How's that for the future relationship? We can't talk because he's going to get angry, blow up third things, smash things. Yeah. I've tried to talk to her and she doesn't want to talk to me. Okay. Your buddy. You know what? We gave 26 minutes of kind of figuring her out. Give me your side of the story. Let's see if there's something. Yeah, I just worked two jobs, I'm always tired. You're also always tired because you don't take care of yourself. Let's try to get hit. Oh, well, what's that mean? I have a thyroid, what is it? He has Hashimoto's. He does not help out. That's like a bite of sushi. I don't know. What does that tell me? It's a thyroid autoimmune disease that my body attacks my thyroid, so I don't have energy. Classically, it makes people abused their children. I never go on. So what does that do? - Well, he's not on his type of medication. - Tired, I have no energy. Okay, drink caffeine, I don't know. - Can't say he doesn't do anything. - Okay, but this is the reality or situation. I don't understand how the illicit abuse, but go ahead, continue. And let's try to not interrupt him. Give me your set of the story. - Whenever I do try to talk to her and ask her about certain things, she'll just immediately snap and start yelling at me. - She snaps. - She can, yes. Tell me about that. - It'll just be like a normal question. Like if I'm making dinner one night and I ask her like, what is she normally puts in the dinner? 'Cause she cooks as well, but she's a better cook to me 'cause I didn't really cook much. So I ask her what she normally puts in it. And then like, I'll ask her, I'm like, hey babe, what are you putting this in? It's just instantly, I don't know, you do it. It's, you know what goes in it, my normal stuff. And I'm like, and what is that, please? So I know and I don't mess it up. - But you also need like legit step and step instructions to do anything. - I just need a list of ingredients. - So you scream at him too. - Every now and then. - Do you scream at the kids? - When I'm very, very overstimulated, I can, but that's at the point of my breaking point at night time. - Okay, so you're both pieces of shit. Should I just go rescue the kids? Like what am I doing here? What am I doing here, guys? What can I do? Can someone inform me for what we need help with? - No. - Help with, you guys need to get away from each other and your kids. - A lot of my anger towards the kids ends up being at night time when I have done everything myself. - And trauma is known for being less permanent if it happens at night. - What, okay, go on I guess, tell me. - So I'm with the kids 24/7. - Yes, your mother and your work class, okay? I got it. - But, so it comes from when everything's happening all at once and I don't have any hope. He can be sitting on the couch watching something on his phone, reading, doing something. - Well, he probably does, honestly, deserve a little bit more downtime. If I'm throwing away my hatred of both of you, yes, 60 hours a week, he probably needs a bit more time for recovery, especially with his medical condition. So, okay, go on. - And it just gets overwhelming to the point where it's when I'm at my absolute breaking point. I stop to make dinner. The baby is clustered feeding and won't take the bottle. Our daughter is screaming crying because she needs an activity. She wants something to watch on TV. She's hungry, of course, all the things. The animal still need to be fed. I'm just kidding home at 7 pm at night time. It still need to do A, B, C, D. I haven't even had time to take off my scrubs. And everyone's cleaning to me saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, I need this. I need that dinner still needs to be made." - And then what happens? And then I get overstimulated and I'm tired. And it's, I just end up breaking down. - Again, I will help you here. You have to describe what that is. - Breaking. - You both give the shortest version answer of everything. This is a podcast you tell stories. Let's try it again. Or what happens? You break down, what is that? - I normally end up yelling, we're crying. And I-- - You yelling, who are you yelling at? Come on, please. - Yeah, I'm literally yelling at literally just open air at this point. I don't really talk to anyone in particular when I'm yelling, 'cause no one's around. - Okay, natural kids. - And not really no. Very like the only time, if I yell at the child, it's because she's literally coming up to me. (upbeat music) And I'm gonna try to say this. - Okay, the four-year-old autism runs up to you. (upbeat music) - Most of the time she's either beating me, 'cause she likes to come up and hit me a lot, and hit me, and hit me, and hit me, and hit me. - It's not great, okay. - And that kind of throws me off. And then I normally tell her, just stop, stop hitting me. Give me five seconds, please. And it's more like that type of yelling, other than not in her face screaming yelling type stuff. It's me just having an annoying type attitude towards her. If that makes sense. - Sure, normally when that happens on that work, so I don't see any of it. - Because I'm able to, I trust her when she says what you do. I don't know if I trust her when she says what she does. And I wish I could hear what actually happened. 'Cause I mean, you know, camera everyone's gonna try to make themselves sound better. He's been doing it all in episode. So before we get into this fight, I'm gonna say this, then for the sake of the context of this relationship, which I can't believe I'm even gonna do this for you guys, but whatever. - Two years ago, you said cheating, and it sounds like you did. - Yes, tell me. - Two years ago, that was my absolute breaking point when I was-- - Your favorite word. - Yes, it is my favorite word. Michael was being at his most of yelling, slamming things, all like being very emotionally abusive, yelling at the kids, well, the one child at the time. - So disgusting. - I feel disgusted. I was very not in a good position, and it scared me. I was honestly scared of him, thinking that the next point was going to be either he was gonna put hands on our daughter or me. - That is totally fair. - So I wanted out, but I was too afraid to tell him that I wanted out. - That is fair. - So I-- - You'd have to kind of just leave. - Yeah, so I ended up one of the people that I used to know when I went back like a few years ago, came into the restaurant that I was working at the time. And at first I was just back and forth of being friends. We kind of like reconnected that way, and then I ended up telling him like everything like what was going on personally. Because obviously, I'm good at kind of like masking things of how I feel in general. - Also, these victims do. - But it came to the point to where it became very apparent in my everyday life, something was wrong. And that's when he was like, what's wrong? You needed, like, what's going on? And I told him everything. And he was like, you need to leave. And then we ended up just having an emotional like like type connection again like that. And we started seeing each other. - How frequently? How long was this going on? Like when were you seeing him? How where? 'Cause he's working all the time. You're working, and then there's kids at home. How was this happening? - So we, it was at the time when I was working two jobs before he worked two jobs. 'Cause before he refused to get a second job. - When were you seeing him? How frequently? - He came into the restaurant a couple times, and then it was just talking and texting. And then we only saw each other maybe like three, four times before he found out that I was cheating. And he left. - Okay, well if you find out, you gave him my phone number and he messaged me, telling me that you all had sex before. - That's a bad strategy? - Yeah. - But at the same time, I was literally afraid of you. I didn't know what you would say. I didn't know what you would do. - Would you give that guy his phone number? - Yeah, and then he just constantly messaged me and berated me, called me. - The guy? - Yeah. - Doing what? - That if he's seen me, he'd beat me up. That if it came down to it, he's coming down. - Well yeah, 'cause you're abusing the person he loves. I mean, I actually kind of get that. - I don't believe he loved her. He was using her. I mean, she paid for his phone for months. - Okay, that's also weird. But, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you guys sort of. - Yeah. - Okay. - So that started maybe early mid 2024. And then he, that's when I told him, you know, I was afraid to tell him anything. I was afraid of him physically, emotionally, everything. - Yes. - So he decided, well, why don't I tell him? And I'm like, are you sure that's even a good idea? - Why? Why do you guys want to even want to tell him? I'm so confused on that. - So that I can get out. - I would have built the relationship and then just left and went with him. - Yeah, that could have probably also done. I don't know. - Well yeah, you're in a dangerous situation. I don't understand why we're poking the bear. I really don't. But okay, so he told them, I guess, then what happened? And then at that point, he still wanted me, he still wanted to fix things. And this was at the point to her. - Yeah, the abuser did. Shocker. - And at that point, I said that I was done. I had already offered prior counseling and everything and he didn't want to do it. So I was, I said, no. And that's when him, he left the house and we didn't get back together until about six months later. - Why'd you go back? - I went back because I ended up splitting with the guy that I had cheated on him with because. - Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. - Maybe it's Mavily. - I found that he was a narcissistic asshole. He is a work far quad as we like to call him. - And he cheated on her? - Yes. - And we've also talked into an underage girl at the time of war. - Oh, yeah, that's it. - In every classic financial order topic today. - Yeah, I know how to pick him apparently. - Well, you stay with him. - So? - So I don't understand, but then she got with another one. And I said to him, after him, she got with another guy who ended up in jail. - What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? - A lot of you. - What did he go to jail for? - He got a DUI in my car. - Oh my gosh, with your kids in the car? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. And that was before getting back with him? - Yes. - But why back with him? I feel like you feel like you need to be with someone. 'Cause that's the only reason you went back with him. That's the only reason you got with that other guy after the other dude cheered with you with a $200-age girl. Crazy. Um, I feel like you just need to be with someone. I think, listen, it's not bad to be with someone, but you need to be with someone who's putting you in sketchy situations. Yeah, it really has, so. Do you abuse her? Emotionally, I can't not say that, but I don't, that's been insane. I think I should-- That's true. I didn't say physically, I said abuse. And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her. If yelling and throwing stuff-- Yeah. Then I-- Raise your hand if that's abuse, please, I need to make sure. Yeah. OK, I want to increase that it's abuse. OK, very good. You need to make sure I wasn't just like too sensitive or something. Shut up, liberal. I don't know. I wasn't disagreeing, I was just-- I don't know. I'm just making sure I understand. So you will abuse her? Yes. Do you abuse your child? Yes. If yelling is-- Yes. And throwing said yes. Leave him. That is one thing that I've thought about. But I have. But as you can see, financially wise, I can-- I think his parents would let you move in. His mother would let you move in. Where's your family? Non-existent, really. But his mom already took the kid one time. Move in with her. If it comes down to it, I'll get you first month, last month, and three months of rent if you need it. I own a house, though. Kick him out. The court will be on your side. He's abusive. Kick him out. Get on assistance. It is meant for people like you. That is not a bad thing. I have tried, but I guess because, like, assistant wise, for, like, feel stamps and that kind of stuff. But before, I guess, because of where we live, they automatically put him on the application because of his names on the birth certificate. Kick him out. Do it. Kick him out. Tell them. The court will help you. They're-- you're in Maryland. You're not in some-- You know? Not in Alabama. Mississippi. Louisiana. You're in a place where you will get help. Let's go through your head right now. It sucks for sure, but I mean, I can't argue against her if she wants to kick me out. I mean, obviously, I am a beast. All right. Kick him out. That's it. That's it. It's just like, what the-- What's holding you back at this point? Because I know that he will live in a tent again. I don't care. He's an abusive person. I don't give a shit. Good. Good for him. Good for us as a civilization. Yippee. Maybe a storm will wash him away. What? So-- I would feel extremely bad knowing how he's living in a tent. No, no. Not abusers. We don't feel bad about abusers. No, no. We don't do that. Couples raise his voice at each other. That happens. It's not always the best thing, but it happens. He do things happen in years and years of being together. Not on a multi-day week occurrence, and not with kids, and not with throwing things, and not with holes in the wall, and not within a minute of abuser. I just can't see him living in a tent again. He was living in a tent before. I felt bad. He was a homeless shelter. When was he living in a tent? I'll put you up, dude. I will send you resources and I'll put a couple thousand bucks towards it. I'm happy to do that. You need to talk to someone. You feel bad? No. Hey, who do you care about more? Your kids are him. I definitely want to put my children first. Well, you're not. You're not. Yeah. My kids have definitely suffered a lot from this. Tell me. I mean, she's probably, she's. Look, I spent a lot of time on the show telling people to stop avoiding things they actually need to deal with. For me, I've put off making my own doctor's appointments. So apparently, I also need somebody sitting across this table yelling at me. That's why this part of the video is sponsored by ZockDock. ZockDock lets you search and compare high quality in network doctors. It got more than 150,000 providers across 200 plus specialties in all 50 states. And the website has tons of reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles so you can actually choose what actually works for you. When I used it, I put in what I needed and filtered by my insurance. Instead of calling around just to find out whether an office could even see me, I had actual appointment openings in front of me and could click instantly to book a visit. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Ready to be seen? Head to zock.com/calibre to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That is zocdoc.com/calibre back to the financial chaos. Guys, you've known me since the beginning and the fact is, I just love building products that help people. And we're continuing to do that with the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever. You want to use it for whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior or you need to purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low cost to you and build that credit. We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new card that are great rates or you can refinance a horrible auto loan today. And not only that, now you can shop for the best car insurance out there. The thing is, we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and services that you can possibly get online at the best rates. So check those out at CalebHammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money. I know with how he is and her seeing how that is and how quick he is to just fly off the handle and be angry all the time. It's not good for her. That's how she's going to start reacting. And a lot of times I can see that now that's how she's reacting. If she doesn't understand how to do something or if she's struggling to figure out what you're trying to say or if she's trying to understand and like you can see it clicking in her brain, but she gets very irritated very easily and she will then start to throw things, hit herself and all the things which can come from her being possibly on the spectrum but also watching him every single day. Every day for four years. Yes. This has six months that she had peace living with her mom. You need to save this kid. It's done. It's done. The decision has been made. What are you going to do? What when I get kicked out, find somewhere to live. Why didn't you in the last four years get help because now you're going to lose everything and you deserve it. I've tried therapy when I was younger and it didn't go anywhere. Try it again. I offered to do therapy before and he did not want to until it was too late. It's been too late. You're just lucky that it's hard for a spouse, especially one that has kids with you to leave. What do you think your financial score is today? And I'm focusing on you here. A two. If you want your hammer financial score, get it for free at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand in the world of finances. It is new and improved, really specific on each category now so you can see what you need to do to improve. So if you've taken it before, take it again. Leave recently updated it. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show, make sure you download the Dolorwise budgeting app. It's incredible. It's amazing. It is the perfect budgeting app for the average American instead of that overcomplicated bullshit where you stop using it after two weeks because it's not even beneficial to use. It's crazy. Check out the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, what you're supposed to do, they end up taking the annual version because it saves nearly 50% and you get the physical version of my meal plan signed by me. I'll directly to you and the digital version of the cookbook. So let's go into this and you brought up this for my thing. We'll get into that in a second. I'll see if there's something there that is impactful to the situation. You guys clearly make it sound like a button. Let's see. Okay. I have a loan with a payment. Oh, this must be the mortgage. Yes. That is the mortgage. Okay. A mortgage is never on the top of my documents. When it is, that means something scary is happening. What is happening? The mortgage is currently eight months behind. Oh my shit. Eight months is insane. You guys do not make bad money. This is a pretty expensive mortgage payment for you specifically, but all y'all together. [BLANK_AUDIO] One, three, two, three, point five, four. Divide it by your 5,900 a month net. It is 22% of your take home. What is the issue? What is possibly the issue? - So, this is where I believe Adam comes into play. - Ah, good old Adam. He's been rumored. - But it just took a sip of water. His whole body's breaking down. - I haven't taken anything. - Okay, Adam, tell me about good old Adam. He's been brewing in the background this whole episode. - Adam lives with us. He's been living with us on and off and supporting him on and off for the past six years. - What do you mean supporting him? - He has not had a stable job since 2021. - Okay, what the fuck are you putting up with them? - Michael normally puts up with them. - You own the house, right? - Yes, I own house. - So there's more of a tenant than a roommate. - Yes. - Why are you letting someone that doesn't have a stable job history come live with you and rents a room? - Because he literally had nothing. - But even still, I mean, no offense for what it's worth. And I'll let you tell this Adam thing. But your guys' income in this mortgage is not dependent on taking an rent. It's still 22% of your net income regardless of if someone is paying a rent. So how the fuck is he making a break in you paying your rent? It's still 22% of your pay. - We do not say no to him. If he wants to go out and eat, we go get him food. - Oh my God. - If he wants something that he needs, we get it. - Why, what is your relationship with this guy? - He's my best friend. - Oh, great, which is why I was gonna say, why does a man live there and he hasn't stepped up against an abuser? Well, that would be why. Is your best friend like childhood best friend? - Yeah, I'm gonna, what are we doing? What are you doing? So now you're supporting two literal children essentially. - Essentially. - On top of your actual two kids. - Personally. - Why are you putting up with this? I can't believe I'm maybe gonna talk to you, but why are you, he's your friend. I have, if my friend, any of my friends, I would support my friends in a hard situation. I would not let them, I would not enable them. Their entire life. Because that is not gonna be beneficial to them at all. What the fuck are you doing? What's your perspective on this and actually try to have one? - I would feel bad for kicking him out 'cause he generally doesn't have anywhere to go. His doesn't talk to his family. He would be homeless. - Well, but because you guys have enabled them, you've allowed him to not have a job for so long. Why would he ever need to have one? To put himself back up on his feet and be able to take care of himself outside of the house that you guys are all in right now. - Well, he was with me at my second job. - Oh my, what, the cleaning? - Yeah. - But that's only what, three, maybe two times a week? - Right now, yeah, but he was working like all week. - And you guy, but that's because he says no. - Well, yeah. - He doesn't wanna work. - He says no, and you will allow this. - I guess since I don't stand up to him then, yeah. - No shit, you'll stand up to your four year old, but not to another man? - He did once, and then they fought physically. - Oh my, what happened when, what, last week? - Last week? Thankfully me and the kids were not home and this happened, or-- - Oh, what did I stop them? - The cops would have been called and they both would have been out, out the house. - Oh, that would have been nice. I wish you were home. - What happened? - Uh, we were talking, and then he was-- - About what? - He was basically saying, "How's it feel to not have a car that I've been dealing with for years?" And I was like, "It doesn't really affect me as much as you do, 'cause I have a way to get to work." And like one of my coworkers can pick me up in the morning. - Okay. - So, at that point, yeah, but at that point, he was just started yelling about other stuff, and then I started yelling back. I can't really remember, and then he rushes up to me, pushes me, I push back, and then I pick him up and throw him on the floor. - How long did it go on? - My intense was at 15 seconds. - Geez. And that was as a week ago, what's the status now? - He acts like nothing happened. - Yeah. - Like, they're back to normal, I think. Talking normally, as they usually do, and like, bantering back and forth, still being friends, brother, like, that kind of shit. - Good for-- - So, why would he ever improve his life? - I guess there's no reason to. - You're gonna support him forever. - I don't want to. - I have great news. He makes good money. Madam will go be his roommate when you kick him out. Just solve your issue. - Right? - Yeah, no, you're not wrong, you're not lying. - No, I'm not. - That would 100% fix the issue. - Why are you six months behind your mortgage? I'm very confused on that, because even if you do go out to eat here and there, all this stuff and the dude doesn't work, that doesn't make sense for why we are, you said six months or nine months. - Eight. - Oh, good. - Right in the middle. - Wait, where's the foreclosure situation? Because eight months behind is-- - There is no full foreclosure currently. I have what they are mortgage company calls in RMA, which is a request for mortgage assistance. So I've submitted our bank statements, pay stubs, all that kind of stuff. - Wait, and this isn't an atom situation anymore. You missed payments, you were full late payments in early 24, mid 24, mid 24, late 24, and then you had unknown. You must have been in an assistance program in early 25, then mid 25 you missed three in a row, then you made two, then you missed four in a row, then you missed, now that continues into your eight. - Okay, actually you've paid one, two, three, four, five, six, seven mortgage payments in three years. - It's seven mortgage payments in three years. That is not an atom thing. You do have some ownership on this, I'm not gonna lie. - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Just clump, dewey hydrated skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - And it's my paycheck goes completely into our joint account that we have together, but his paycheck goes into only his account. And I do not see that money, I don't know where it goes. None of that kind of stuff. So I can't see all of the money completely as a whole to be able to pay things. And then when I go to want to pay something, there is no money to pay for it. - What happens? So you guys said you don't communicate about the finances. What have you tried to do? - In communication around the finances? - Move both of our paychecks into the joint account, but I haven't talked to my-- - After I've asked you multiple times to change that. What hasn't happened? - What, why haven't you? - I'd always forget all my work to ask our boss-- - You could literally context her. - Yes, I know that. And I don't. For how long have you been requesting? - A while since we opened that joint account. - Which was? - And when we bought that truck in 2024? - Good, it's been two years in the As in two and a half years. He's never going to with that case then. Two and a half years isn't, oh, I got a little busy. You don't get busy for two and a half years. He's deliberately choosing not to. For whatever reason, okay, you behind on the mortgage. - Why? - 'Cause we buy other things or-- - Why are you choosing to do that? - Well, most of the time it's going to get food. Like I think she did the math and we spent like what, two or three grand in food in a month. - Between May and June when I really wanted to sit down and go through our finances, I went through our bank statements between our joint account which was where my check goes into in his account. Between both accounts, about $1,900 was spent in eating out between McDonald's, Arby's, all that other shit and most of the-- - For your kids fat, 'cause you're fat. - I just had a baby like three months ago. - Okay, but I mean, I think you are the, your fat. - You know, you're not gonna, yeah, pretty shubby. - Fat, and the babies, the kids? - Yeah. - Not the, okay, the four-year-old, no? - Really? - No. - Not chubby? - No. - You wanna see a picture? - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just don't show it to your ex. Get it? 'Cause he was in the children. - Okay. - Well, I gotta find a real picture that doesn't have-- - How do you feel that you've-- - Over you. - Yeah, no, that's not right. - It was a weird thing to find out about. - Kinda crazy when you're worse than a-- - Yeah. - I should make you reconsider your life choices. - Okay, yeah, not fat. - We'll be, if you guys are eating out two thousand bucks a month at a McDonald's and shit, like what do we do? - That's the thing, we're not the ones eating it. - And it's eating your jeans. - We're not the ones eating it. - Oh, I don't-- - Adam. - 2,000 hours of fast food went to Adam. - Not all of it, no. - Not all of it, essentially, but-- - The majority of it went to Adam. - Okay, um, have you argued to kick Adam out? - Yeah. - And what happened in that conversation? - At the end of the conversation, we both realized that he has nowhere to go and we feel extremely bad if he were to live in a tent again. - What is with this tent thing? - They both lived in a tent. - Hey, maybe he will figure it out, it needs to, because he's an adult. He's 26, too, as well, right? - He's 27. - He's 27. - I think he can figure out his life. See, a drug added? - I mean, so it's not weird. - No, well, that's not like-- - I'm like, come hardcore, you know? - No, no, he doesn't. - So he won't be homeless. out of the sake of drug addiction and schizophrenia and shit like that. He will figure his shit out, and if he doesn't, he is a failure of the market. Whoopsie, his problem. There's also services and shelters and shit there. I guarantee it. - Oh, no, we have 100%. We have a lot of different opportunities. - Then them choosing to live in a tent is them choosing to live in a tent. You cannot make your entire world in life's choices based on what another person chooses to do. - Not force to do chooses to do. - I think it comes down to me being an absolute people bluser and feeling, I just feel like I have to please everyone to be happy. - Great. So continue having your kids abused. Good? - No, not good. - Okay, that's what I do not want to be completely. - I don't want that to happen. I want him to change, and I want to have a not broken family. - Dude, your house is worth 200, so your house is worth 120,000 more than it's worth. Sell it, pay off your debt, start a clean new life on a budget, endate in a healthy way instead of getting weirdos. Okay, maybe move to a better place. Pay off that, have a fully fronted emergency fund. Use it to get yourself in a better career position. I'll get you a course career certification. Congratulations, whoopie, people in the audience. You're not getting one. Probably the audience have used it to get six figure jobs, trade, tech, whatever you want. It's an incredible platform and product, but you can get a cash offer from Zillow in three minutes and they're valuing it at 300,000. Even if they give you 280, you walk away with a hundred. - And that's probably before it's actually like, we've done some renovations to the house. - Well, yeah, that's probably not going to do much. She says, but even still. Even still, plus a house like that, I don't know. Weeds being grown in the backyard. - Yeah. - By who? - Adam. - What are we gonna do if we get caught? That's a CPS phone call, right? - Yeah. - Is it illegal? - What are you a cop? - Yes, apparently in Maryland. - Two plans per person. - And there's only six plans? - I don't know. - Yeah, I haven't wanted to look back there. Some of them were probably died by now. - Okay. Is anyone ever called CPS any guys? - No, but I think when our first daughter was taken by his mother, his aunt had to physically take the baby back away from his mother to be able to give her back to us because we think. - His aunt do that. - Because he said she said rumored that his mom wanted grandparents' rights. - Good. - I'm sorry, you're a horrible, objectively horrible dad. You are a bad mom because you won't get the kids out of the house or him out of the house from the kids. You're not as bad as he is a dad, but you not getting them away or him away is being a bad mom. 'Cause you're just wanting your kids to do it and be there. And also, I mean, you're very behind him already as well. So maybe they should have had grandparent rights. But if the mom was willing to do that, well the mom not take you in, I don't know. Call her. - Right now. - Mm-hmm. She might be working, I'm not sure. But I will be able to let's see. - Right now? I think she is. - Right then your age is 2,400. You guys are in a very blessed position. Sell the house, get the way from him. Move on, pay off the debt, fully funded emergency fund. - Where's the last time I talked to her? - Well, you can just type in her name. - She has two numbers on my phone. I had to delete the one. - So it was more like you stole the baby back then. In a way, you worked with the aunt to do it. - Yeah. - That's had a good thing. But the mom not call CPS. - See if she answers. If not. Hey, how are you? - And who's this? - Good, I am a friend. I'm sitting down with your son and her. And you know, I'm just kind of going over some things. They really wanted some advice. And you've come up multiple times in this conversation. And I just kind of wanted to talk to you. They're both here, say hi. - Hi. - Hi. - So that you know, they're both here. - Who are you? - My name's Caleb. They just, they came to me for advice. And a private setting. Well, it's actually not that private anymore though, but either way, whatever, it doesn't matter. The thing is, I know you had the kid for a bit and they unfortunately took the kid back. I think you should have the kid. This man scares me around the kid. Based on everything he's admitted to me. He told me he's verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. He told me that. She's not even saying that. - If things get too dangerous, is she allowed to take the kids and live with you? That was my one question. It's not about, your first question was for me to take the child back, which is fine. But I need more, like there needs to be more information, like I've already discussed with them before about situations. And so if my question is, is if you're asking me to take one, what about the other and like, what's the plan? Like, what are we doing? And are we going to get help at this point in time? Like, now we have somebody else involved in this. And I know that I'm your mother. I know your mom is in the picture and I'm like a mom to you. And I know that's hard for you to probably even think about, like, well, that's mom, like, how can she stand up for me? But I've told you time and time again that I would be next to you. And so in saying that, it's very hard. It's like both of y'all are my children in a sense. And I want the best for both of y'all. But y'all both need help. You both need to get into some sort of counseling and have a support system. Do y'all hear me? - Yeah. - Yes, we hear you. - And I'm sort of disappointed that y'all even did this show and you never even said anything. Like, if you want me and I've told you this time and time again, I've walked the road at y'all and I was a single mom and the military with nothing was scraping by. And I turned life around and I made different choices and I did different things in life and that you guys can always come to me. And instead, you constantly keep me in the dark. But they don't want to call me in an emergency, which is fine. I'm always going to be here. But we've got to do better guys. Like, this is so out of the blue. So if you're in Texas, who has the children? - My friend Hazar has both of them. - You know, y'all, this on this feels like a joke because seriously, I feel so left out in the dark. It's not even funny right now. - I apologize. It's not a joke. I actually really just wanted to know if she ever needed to, if she could live with you. - I've already told her this. I've already told her this. I've told both of them. At one point in time was with me because they had the split up. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they told you about it. - It's also, you have to get your crutch together. Because if not, you're going to lose your whole entire family, do you want that? - No, not really. - Sorry, don't get any hold of me. So if I can answer the phone, I will step away and talk to y'all. But if not, like, seriously, I'm hoping I'll be done by eight tonight. So either way, all right? - Thank you. Bye. - I love y'all. - No, I'm too. I love you too. - Hard to navigate that conversation. It's always hard to tell people like, "Oh, you're on financial audit." So I should have just said, "You're on financial audit." So I apologize for that when you're watching back. But at least she knew by the end when you told her. Um, yeah, sounds like a sweet person. And by the way, thank you for your service and it sounds like she was an incredible model. She's done so many good things. You mean on the spectrum, it's not an excuse for abuse. - I'm never made it an excuse. - I know. She kind of was. I don't like this. Go live with her. Get rid of this piece of shit. - Hey, sell your house. You can't afford it. You've paid me seven payments. Seven payments of two and a half years. What are you doing? Okay. Seven. I'll give a shit about Adam. He sounds like he needs to come on this show. And we can deal with that, but he needs to get a shit together. Your kids' lives are not put below his. Ah. Ah. - No, you're right. - Okay. Oh. I've never actually seen a literal page with repossessed on it. - They already launched liquid assets, my official Gamersubs flavor, Raspberry Apple. And it's been selling like crazy. Here's the update. The free gift stacking promo from Christmas in July, has visually sold out, for the flavor hasn't. Zero sugar under one calorie, 100 servings of tub, same new traffic blend, same full vitamin stack, still just four scoops a day max. Code Caleb still gets you 10% off your entire order. And there's still a shot, one out of every 10, that your tub comes with my face on it. All you need to do is head to Gamersubs.gg/calibre, click the link in the description below. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up And you get an additional 30 days. of Amara Elite Access or free. Download the Amara Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise. This has never happened before. What is this? That is my car that I got in 2024. That was the one transportation argument that they had when they were fighting. Anyways, that car was repossessed last week. Last week? Yeah. Last week? They did a lot of what are we doing? I had called the bank that bank. You guys make money. You literally together, you guys make money. We have no- None of this makes no sense. It doesn't. We have zero excuse for our finances at all. Zero, no excuse whatsoever of why we're in this position that we're in. So what- What do you drive now? A 2000 Honda Accord. You already had it? Yes. Why'd you have this car then? That was the car that I bought because I bought that one when we split because I told him my Honda. What were the payments? 962. It's another more- What were you? Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. Making when you split with him. I was making um 52 a year at my one job and then another. Can't get those jobs back. It was a very toxic job. I don't care. What's more toxic? The guy yelling at you. Goods are this job. This is true. I was working from home with that job, so I didn't have to pay for child care. I was making 50. It was toxic. It was from home, log off. I was making about 52,000. How was that toxic? My boss wasn't at the very friendly. How? You keep saying I'm glad you say things. Now try to actually explain them. So I was an HR executive assistant. So what I did was I helped with the hiring process. I helped with all that kind of stuff. And it was mainly a lot of nepotism in that job. A lot of narcissism. Okay, how are they toxic? It was a lot of back and forth between who he said she said. And what was your remote? Tell me. Are you okay, really? Just burping. Okay. There was a lot. Like, I don't know what it was a while ago at this point. I quit. When you told me to back that up, you need back that shit up. What was toxic? I was told that I didn't do a lot of things, but a lot of my work. You didn't. A lot of my work got taken from me for another position. So you got paid for doing less? Yes, but they tracked us on everything that we did. And because I didn't have enough to fill my day. Are they threatening you with firing? If I didn't pick up my productivity, but then I would come back and say, I don't have enough. Go get that job back. Or go get a job similar. What the, you make no money right now and you just got your car repossessed. And you're, you made seven mortgage payments in two and a half years. Go get a job, dude. What are you doing? So what's the balance that's going to be left on this? Or is this that now? Oh, you were passed to $4,811. Yes. What the fuck is possibly wrong with you? Oh, yeah, that's your payment, dude. Shit. Yeah, it was $31,876 for some of that make $1,700 a month. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, it's private. Mark, you did we get the value of this car? Because it's going to be that my has likely the value of the cars. We're just still going to, oh, it's going to be an incredible. It's going to get you in a predatory loans and all the shit. What was the interest rate on this? I think 20 something. 20 something. I don't like when you speak. Sorry. Without being spoken to. 20 something's crazy. Yeah, it was really bad. Geez, you put yourself in a worse situation when you left him. I did. And I only got that car because I told my other vehicle because I fell asleep driving a lot. It was $9,000 and you owed $31,000 on it. It's only worth $9,000. Are you sure that's the car? Is that the right car? Is that the right thing? Do we have the right thing? Because that's insane. That might be what his truck's worth. Okay, okay, okay, because I want to be surprised if you bounce it up anyway from all the fees and all the shit. So that's the back payment you owe. I can't believe you let it get the repossession territory. I tried calling them multiple times to kind of like work out a pre-payment plan. And they. Repayment plan? A repayment plan. Or like. It's added on to the back. They only do that so many times. It would have only. I paid it back up at one point and then it got this bad again. It's like your mortgage. Yes. And then when it finally got a repote, I had called them and I said, "Hey, this is what's going on. Are we able to do something?" And they said, "No." And they wanted about like $8200. Yeah, that's what you owed. Yeah, up front to take the car out and get it back. That's what you've owed. Yeah, but they did not expect. They did not want any type of payment plans to even get it back. Oh, yeah. Because that's what you owe. Are you surprised by this? I'm not. I was not surprised. Well, I don't know if it's going to be owed. You're probably going to owe maybe like half. Who knows? You're still going to have to pay that. Who knows? Maybe they'll come sue you for it and they'll garnish your wages. That's the last statement. I think of the same car. And here's your check in the cow. You started with $5,000 and ended with a negative $168. Shit. What are we doing? I need you to be independent. You know we're close to that. You're going to be trapped in the situation with this piece of shit forever. Negative $163.90, it sounds. I mean, you're getting like energy drinks or something? Energy drinks, I don't know. You stop at the market and you get a $2.66 thing. So the thing about that is. That is the joint account. So my car for that joint account does not work. It's only on his car that works. And he has the card to that. I have to. Is this all his spending? Yes. You do not get free gamer subs. Go for yourself. But for everyone else out there, gig gamer subs, it's 40 cents a serving with my discount code. Get your free samples, figure out what flavor you like with the code, link in the description below. I highly recommend Caleb Hammers liquid assets. It's the best flavor because I made it myself. And I wanted to get the best flavor. You can get one. Are you an energy drink person? I am the energy drink person of the group. Well, here you go, bro. It's all you did. Nice. They're delicious, seriously. I will not put like all the blame on him because I do have his version of the joint card. Why? I was going for sex. Because you do spend money and you are not going to be independent. I need you to be independent out of safety. Wilson. Wilson. Prime video. Overdraft. Text. F*** me. F*** me. You'll see a lot of those on there. Oh, I bet! Bolsa. It Donald's. With draw cash. Tickfully. Overdraft. Overdrafting. For Chick-fil-A is what we're doing. But you can't even get out of the house from a man that is next to borderline beaten, yeah. Interesting strategy. Can't say I've done it myself. $5 and he's checking to go. It's a joint goes back and forth, I guess. He's paying for snapchat. I don't even care if he's shooting. You're like, who even knows? Well, that's just me restoring Strix with one of my friends. You've only cheated once? Yeah. I'm surprised. Honestly, the first person ever outside go cheated as many times as you want. Go take that dick. Just wear a condom. How do you feel about the cheating? I don't care. Okay. No, how do you feel about it? It hurt me, of course, but I mean. Yeah, that's why there's. Unfortunately, it hurts you enough to hurt you, but you haven't changed yet. So there's that. Like, four years of nothing, man. I don't get that. We all make mistakes. I wanted to forgive almost anyone's past on anything if they grows a human, because that's his life. And not everything's Twitter and TikTok where. "Hold up and count of them from five years ago." Yeah. They said a rude thing online. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Cancel, cancel. No, people grow. Whatever. That's what the normal person thinks, okay? Yeah. You're not growing. You refuse to see therapy. Well. Yeah. Well, you denied when she said, "Let's get therapy." Yeah. And then a couple months later, I asked her if she wanted to go therapy, because I realized that my choice was wrong. But like, she did. No, like I did with her. She ignored me and basically said. Why? Because I was at that point where it was. I don't think that he cared at all. And even when he said that he wanted to do therapy, one of his favorite lines is when he's yelling or when we're arguing is that he doesn't care. So that's always in the back of my mind. Well done. You don't care? I say that when I get angry, but I do care. Okay, there is nothing wrong with getting angry in a relationship I've been even raising. like here and there. I mean, that's not, I'm not saying that that's a good thing. Well, that is, you'll find that basically every relationship ever that has existed. Screaming throwing things at children, at the stuff, throwing things, banging things around, making holes in the wall, that is not okay. She also never really apologized for cheating on me. So good. She did it 'cause you're abusive, then she came back and you're still abusive. I don't give a shit. Go for yourself. Do you apologize after every time you've screamed at the kid? - No. - And why do I give a shit that she has an apologized? She admitted in this conversation. She's only here because she can't get away from you financially, right? You know, she literally said that in this conversation. - Yeah. - Why the fuck would she apologize? Why do you expect an apology? - I don't know. - Huh? Why haven't you apologized? - In my own way, I have not apologized, either that being said, but I am sorry that I did. She didn't want him but this, but-- - Why? - Because I should have done it the right way. I should have-- - I can agree with that. - I should have did it the right way. And I would just, I 100% take blame for that. But at the same time, I was not in a very good spot mentally wise and I was afraid. So I thought it was the better way out. - Now, what if you still, would you still be with the second guy? If you didn't get a DU, I instead of him. - Probably not, no. - Mm, not very confident on that one. McDonald's energy drink, PlayStation, a Woodrow, but PlayStation $20. United distribution, who the, you know, $2.40, probably some bullshit, Venom Machine maybe. McDonald's bullshit, Snapchat again. He's getting Snapchat a lot of the, you paying for on Snapchat a little freak. - My streets run out with my friends that are like over 1,000 so I just breathe. - With your friends. - Yeah, if you should go, let me not show you. - Maybe just go live with them. - Chick-fil-A, Arby's, checkers, smoking some vapes, getting some energy drinks, checkers, Snapchat again. Crazy. Energy drink, energy drink, chick-fil-A, dominoes, fabulates, chick-fil-A, exchange, exchange, exchange, McDonald's, energy drink, energy drink, Snapchat, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, McDonald's, energy drink, energy drink, chick-fil-A, McDonald's, Amazon, energy drink. Whoa, McDonald's, PlayStation, bullshit, ATM, a draw, usage fee, bullshit, chick-fil-A, another Venom Machine, bullshit, energy drink, McDonald's, Arby's, what is that, Venom Machine, who knows? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Chick-fil-A, Snapchat again, web, Tim, would you even care if he cheated on you right now? - I mean, it would hurt me just 'cause I know. - You guys are cooked. Bullshit, energy drink, Snapchat, bullshit, handy games. What even is that? - I don't even know, Tim, you're the only one that does the game. - Yeah, I know, but that doesn't ring a bell with me. - Energy drink, energy drink, Amazon, Amazon, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, chick-fil-A, prime video, and my bullshit or something, I don't know. Energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, premium McDonald's, energy drink, Tabaka. Oh, if it isn't, uh, you know. Like seven overdraft fees. Oh, there you go, that's hot. Why'd you get with him in the first place? How the fuck did you fall in love with this? In high school, right? - Yeah, there's high school. - How? - Oh, we met with-- - Small town? - Yeah, we do live in a small town. We met in while we were in orchestra. And we had a lot of-- - What did you guys play? - I played the violin and he played the bass. - Okay. What did you see in him? - We did a lot of after school stuff when it came to like orchestra and stuff like that and because we lived in a small town, it was only like a certain amount of us. So it was a very small fishing pool. Fishing pool? Oh, yeah. - Well, you're behind in the truck. I'm glad you're paying for Snapchat, but not your truck. $382 a month in 42 cents with a balance. $4,721.95. Oh, total payment due! Because your past due to payments. You owe $1,147. Why are you behind? You make good money and this is an interest rate below 3%. I'd want to keep this. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go live in it. - I just haven't paid it because we're paying either other bills or-- - What other bills? No, you're not. - You're actually not a Wi-Fi bill. - A Wi-Fi bill. - Huh? - Our electric and our Wi-Fi. - And how much is that? - The electric's like, well, this past month was like $700. - You make $6,000. - Nothing, it goes back to literally all of those little eating out and everything. The majority of the eating out and the vaping knew they're one of us smoked. We buy it for Adam. - Adam's done. - Yeah. - Adam's out. If for some reason you guys stay together, which no, please do not, Adam's gone tomorrow. No, give him a month. A month to get his life together. He has a full month, he has full fair warning for him. And if he chooses a tent, that's on him. Or do you just want to live with your best friend? He's choosing his best friend over you and your kids, by the way. - It has very felt like that. - No, it's not feeling, he is. Like he is. Like every action is showing that is true. - Okay, and it makes me want to cry. - No, leave. - Pass through on something that is valued even a little more than you know. Capital one, it's closed. Is it in collections, 3786? - Yes. - Okay, why'd that go to collections? Again, you guys make money. - So a lot of my debt was the, my mom. - What? - She would use my stuff and she racked up some bills and she always said that she would pay them and has not. - She's, and how long did it take you to learn that lesson? - A while. - Have you learned that lesson? - Yes. - Good, don't never give other people your debt, okay? - Yeah. - Okay. - She's, you guys forget you were in a podcast? 4966, I don't know that it's discovered. Did she rack this up too? - Yes, that is currently garnishing my paycheck. - Yeah, consequences of your actions. Who keeps farting? - No, not me. - I know fat people fart so I smile. - I'm not farting. - I'm not farting. - I mean, I would tell you if I did, but I. - Would you even know, dude, you've been expunging this whole episode. - Well, okay, one of you just is just a stinky individual. Verizon. Well, the garnishment in your wages makes sense while your wages so small, before it hits your account, 2666 dollars. Is that garnishing? - No. - It's in collections for Verizon. You just didn't pay it. And the Verizon, that's from like the guy that you cheated on with, right? - Correct. - Yeah. - 'Cause he refused to help pay for the bill. - Yeah, just, you picked the winners. Another collection, $873. Okay, I guess it was Dell. We banked Dell. So you didn't make a Dell financing? - Yeah. - What is this? Insurance paid, so you owed medical $187? - Yes. - If you got it on payment plan, they'll do very small, typically. - Not yet, that is from our recent, maybe. - Okay, I would call and do that. Okay, retirement 1555, who's that? - Mine. - And you have nothing. - Yes, I don't have time. - I don't give a fuck about you. I'm not doing anything regarding you. Here's what to do. Step by step, and I will do a budget, but step by step. - You can come out. You put the house up for sale, you can get them out. You'll learn to budget, 'cause when you sell the house, you will pay off your debts, have a fully funded emergency fund and focus on your career. While you can come out, while you sell him, while you learn how to budget, while you build up your emergency fund, you are living with his mother. You are taking care of the kids, in the first peaceful household, in their life. In the history of their life? - Yippee. Maybe you do that for a year, maybe two years, you build up your skills, your certifications, whatever you can do, you hunt for a career, you get a good career, then you can move out and you have a place for you and your kids. Just start dating someone. The only way he ever gets back in is with years of therapy and showing and proving that he is changed and has coping mechanisms and is medicated in everything. Other than that, he's never even coming close to the kids. Unless it's court mandated. And then you find a man through dating, okay? That's how this works. Your rent will be zero living with her. Your food will likely be zero, but I'll have you contribute $500 towards it. I'll have you contribute $300 towards TP fund. Your medical healthcare, you'll get on Medicaid, you'll get an assistance, you'll do what you need to do. Bye. Tax credits will help you. What were your phone bill be? What is it? My phone is paid by my dad. Well, what the f***? I thought they weren't in the picture. Your debt payments, you will have maybe like 50 bucks for the medical, but that's pretty much it. Don't give them about his truck. You'll have car insurance. Let's just assume it's like the worst. They're like pretty bad. Not mid to 150. You might have to get a car loan. Let's say you have a car payment of 500 bucks, you'll get a 10,000-hour car, not a 30,000-hour car. Then you'll put, maybe you actually do a cash car. That was my current plan. You'll do a cash car from selling over the house, but only still 10,000 hours, multiple mechanics approved. Medical healthcare, let's put in actually $200 there. Let's do $100 for subscriptions. How many pets are you going to take with you? I've got to prioritize the kid over the pets. It's a sad day, but it's a real day. I do know at least six of the cat and they need to go. How many will you take with you? Probably two. Okay. $100 pet insurance, $100 to take care of the pets. Once you learn how to use this budget, then you can have access to the funds of selling the house, then you can pay off your debts, then you can set the rest aside for an emergency fund and catch you up on retirement for anything that is left over. You'll be budgeting off at $600 a month, but you can even do today barely. If you prove you can do it, I will allow you to sell the house. But other than that, kick them out, you're done. Okay. It's okay. It's it's very much. I am going to call Adam in the post show. I am so done with this, dude. Let's get your hammer financial score. Leave him immediately. Oh, and Lindsay and Brandon are going to absolutely ruin your life in a few minutes in the post show. Let me tell you, they are going to cook you to death, especially since they have more information than I even have because I go and blind, but they know everything. Spending it in about, oh, you guys, you're having a fun, oh, no, there is real estate. Retirement's one. Spending a budget debt emergency fund, that's all zero. Real estate, you're just behind, so that brings it down dramatically. It could be a three out of ten, just the best. There, and financial score. Get your updated one at Calebhammer.com. Yours is a one out of ten. Now join us for the post show. I'm going to destroy Adam and they are going to destroy them with even more information they have. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week, best membership on YouTube, best network by far, so check it out. Join with the join link or the join button down below or you can download the hammer lead app or hammer lead.com. See you there. Okay, calm. You have been carried by these two individuals. It is time to grow up, develop some skills, build a resume, get a job and get the f*** out of their house and pay your own f*** bills. Your friend is kicked out because he's abusive and you're kicked out because you're a loser. I just launched the brand new hammer lead app available on every major platform so you can watch every show anywhere you want. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of hammer lead access for free. Download the hammer lead app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelaphammer.com/apply or click that link in the description below.