She Had a Massive Heart Attack… Then a Mind-Blowing Near-Death Experience

And now, from beyond our dimension, this is the Jeff Mura Vodgas. Here's Jeff. My guest is Jay Marie Blue, who had a near death experience due to a heart attack. Jay Marie, thanks for joining us and welcome. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you for having a chat with me this morning, on the Sunday morning in Australia. It's a bit chilly here, but thank you for having me. Yeah, it's winter there, right? It is. It's cold, but I've actually got some friends in other countries who experience a much colder cold than what we do here in Australia. But 18 degrees or 16 degrees here is cold for us, so. But yeah. Do you get snow down there? We do get snow in the Alps, sort of down in a place called like Tinderbine and not where I actually live, I live on the coast in Australia on the east coast, so I'm right near the border, but we don't get snow here. So thank God. I'm in South Texas and we generally don't either, so we're probably pretty similar in climate. Yeah, yeah, it'd be very warm there. We're in the difficult time of year when it's brutally hot. Oh, okay. Yeah. Our temperatures get rather hot here. They do. They actually, you know, they'll spike up to about 40. They're the days that you just don't open the door and leave the house. Yeah. But yeah, generally speaking, it's a nice climate here. Well, tell us about your experience starting on the day that you had the heart attack. So I, so I'm a school teacher and I just taught through a school term. I've got to the end of the term on a Friday evening and I'm just about to head the first day of our school holidays and I went to bed on the Friday evening and I fell asleep when I think I went to bed about 9 o'clock or something and I woke up at about midnight and I was laying in bed and I felt very unusual. I felt, I didn't feel like I had the flu or a cold or anything like that. I just felt really strange. And so I was laying there. I was laying there for a few minutes and I just thought, this is, I felt really odd. And I'm very connected to my body. I have a good understanding when I, when I'm sore, when I'm tired and I listen to my body. And I had several years ago from being a bit of a workaholic. I had burnt out. So since then, I've certainly taken note of when my body is tired, when it needs sleep and rest and yeah, so I was laying there. And I was thinking, I feel very, very strange. And all of a sudden, you know, had those little voices inside you, you know, and this little voice inside my head just said, get out of bed. So I sat up in bed and yeah, and as I sat up, you know, I had my hands as a side of me and I started to feel rather giddy and very, very dizzy, very, very dizzy. And then I really just thought, there's something quite wrong with me and I still had no idea what it was. And because I certainly had no signs of any, you know, palctations or anything like that, prior to that, I just finished a school term, just come home from work that day, feeling like a normal person. And anyway, so at that stage, I just thought, yeah, I need to get up and get out of bed. So I got up and I got up quite slowly. So I got up and when I just put my feet on the ground and stood up, I just felt this massive rush of blood, massive sensation of blood from your head right down to your feet. And it was like, I can, I'm a bit of a sense maker so I can really, you know, I can relate it to when you go down a slippery deep how it's this quick force. And that's what it was like. It was like I was standing there and it was like a massive blood rush from my head to my feet. So at that stage, my, my head felt like a feather. So I grabbed my, my dressing table to hold myself upright. And I just thought, there is something seriously wrong with me, really, really wrong with me. And my husband at time was asleep on the lounge. So I just thought, I need, I need help. I seriously need help right now because I could barely stand. And so I basically then really gingerly walked from my bedroom out to the lounge room and my husband was so it's down my hallway. And I was moving like a snail just trying to lift one leg and walk from, from my bedroom out to the lounge room and I was holding the walls, gripping the wall. And I basically got to the end of the hallway and I tried to call out his name. And there was just nothing in me. It was like, I don't even know what body I was even existing in. And I tried to call his name out and his name's Alan. And it was like a whisper. It was just like, it was nothing. And then the next thing I know, I felt an immediate crushing sensation in my chest. And it was that thing you hear about when people talk about a heart attack. It was like cement pressing down on me. And then the next thing I know, I was on the floor. And I had my hands amazing enough. This is where obviously I had the heart attack. And I passed out and I was on the floor and I had both of my hands on the floor. And I was basically seeing stars. And I didn't really know what had happened. I just realized I was on the floor. Anyway, I tried to call his name out again with a little bit more energy, with whatever energy I had left in me. And thank goodness he heard me. And then I think I blacked out again. And the next thing I realized he had grabbed me off the floor and was putting me on the lounge. And I vaguely remember that even. When I passed out, I'd actually hit the side of the lounge. So I'd actually cut over my chin. So there's blood everywhere. So I felt that on the floor. And so I'm on the lounge. And he had me sitting upright. And he said to me, what's happened? What's wrong? And I said, and I just sat there thinking rationally. And all of a sudden, I just thought of that crushing sensation that I had in my chest. It's like a squeezing sensation, basically. And I said to him, so I think I've had a heart attack. I said, I think that that's what it feels like to have a heart attack. I said, I've had a heart attack. It's a call on ambulance. So that's what he then did. He called an ambulance. And so while we waited for the ambulance to come, which took about, I think about 15, 20 minutes. And that made my body started to shut down. And that's an interesting experience in itself. Having absolutely no control over what your body wants to do. If your body wants to do something, it will just do it. And obviously later down the track, when I've spoken to cardiologist explained to me, the different functions of your heart and how they run like a motor, different areas of your body. So what had happened is I had a 100% blockage of my coronary artery. And it was quite significant. So the blockage was actually high up in the heart. So your coronary artery runs down. It has tentacles and things like that. So you can actually get blockages anywhere in that coronary artery and in the tentacles. But my blockage happened to be right at the top where the blood pumps in. So it was just the left hand side of my heart, which wasn't functioning. That sort of your heart operates your internal organs. So while I was sitting on the lounge, my internal organs started to shut down basically. So the first thing I did, it was quite rhythmic really. Obviously the procedure, what the body wants to do. So first of all, I vomited. And it was a horrific vomit. And it was quite violent. It was just this mad rush of Yuck. And it was an unusual looking vomit. It was, you know, blood, anything in it. And it was uncontrollable. It was like every. think in my stomach was just coming out. And then, and that just went everywhere. And, and then the next thing I lost my bowels. So, you know, I screed it everywhere on the land, and then the next thing I lost my bladder. So that's it really. That's the three things in your, your, your insights. And then, and then after that, I, I really started to get a bit worried. And so I just sat there. And all I thought to myself was, you know, this is really bad. This is like something I've seen on TV. I have seen this sort of stuff on TV. And this is happening to me. And, um, yeah. And so the next thing I know I was then laying down on the land. And, um, and then the paramedics came. And I was, um, from all accounts from what I've been told, I basically was grey. I was white as a sheep. And, um, and then I've, I'm listening, I couldn't talk. I had no speech whatsoever left. Um, and, but I could hear, and I could hear one of the paramedics, one of the ambulance people saying to my husband, um, she's had a massive heart attack. And we're just going to try the bit our best to save her. And when he said that, um, it's sort of like confirmed what I was already originally thinking that that had a heart attack. And, yeah. And then, so then after that, it was quite surreal. So, um, you know, I shut my eyes and, um, I think my body was functioning probably on about 30 to 20 per 30 percent. And, um, you know, and the paramedics had basically, they, I think they put about six or seven, um, epipedans into my body. So adrenaline, um, to keep my body going. They were shoving aspirin in my mouth. And you feel me down to try and make me too. I just couldn't move. And, um, yeah, drips and things like that. And, and then I went somewhere. Yeah, I basically, I just shut my eyes and, um, and I went somewhere. And, and it's sometimes it's hard to describe. Sometimes, it's a beautiful thing to describe. Um, and sometimes I wish I really do wish everybody can experience what someone experiences when they have a need death experience because it is just the most mind-blowing place that we go to when we die. Um, I, some, some, I, I went, I was in inside a room. And I couldn't see myself. Um, but I, I knew I was in this space. I was in this room. I couldn't see my hands, my body, my legs. So after I derationalized what that was. And obviously, you know, it was, I was there as a soul. And, um, you know, my interpretation of was I in heaven, you know, the only take and the only reason why I say that I feel like I was in heaven is because of the feeling that I had. It's like two things. It's like when an experience is a human being, when we experience something as a human being, there's two, two takes on that. There's one of feeling and one of visual. And therefore, you have this experience. And that's what you recall, your recall what you saw and your recall how you felt. And so, so my recollection, you know, is I was in this phenomenal room. And it was, um, it was bright white. It was powder blue, um, had fall walls. And, um, and it had a church pew, um, along the left hand side of the room. And it was bright white. And, um, and I remember just standing there or just being there. Um, in absolute awe and thinking, where the hell am I? And, um, and then I was overcome with like this feeling of, of just love. Um, very hard to describe. Um, I've actually, uh, you know, spoke to friends and family about what that sense of love feels like. You know, as a human being, we have love for our children. And we know what that feels like. We have love for our friends. We know what that feels like. We have love for a partner. Um, part of me, this, this sense of love is overcome with this most phenomenal. It's like an, it's like an feeling of love that our human minds can't even, there's no, we can't, our minds can't even conceive how glorious, how marvelous this sense of love is. Um, this feeling, this sensation of love. So, so that, that was my first experience when I was in this room. And then what was happening was the, the paramedic was calling my name. And asking me, he, he had placed, um, my index finger in his hand and he was asking me to squeeze his finger. So I heard this voice and it was, Jay, squeeze my finger. So the next thing I know, I've opened my eyes and I've turned and there he is and, um, and I've squeezed his finger, then let's just let go. And then that's it. I'll slip straight back into this room again. And this time it was a bit different. This time it was a bit more sensory. So I, I kind of felt like I kind of know where I am. I'm in a, I'm in a room. I'm in a, a phenomenal room. And, um, it's nothing I've ever seen before. I'll felt before. And at the end of the room, you know, there was this, this wall that for some reason I knew was a door. They had no handle. There was no handle on it. And, um, but I, I just knew it was a door. Um, and while I'm actually in this room, there was actually no one standing in front of me and I just felt that there was no one standing behind me. I was just in this room all by myself. Anyways, so the next thing I know, I could hear, um, I could hear murmurs and voices behind the door. And it was quiet at first, really, really quiet. And then all of a sudden it was kind of like, um, it was like a crescendo happening where it was just getting louder and louder. And, um, and I met at all, I met so hearing like all these murmurs and voices, um, there was like, you know, when you hear children get excited and their voices change, or when anyone when you hear them gets excited about something and their voices get really, that's what it was like. I could, it was, I could hear these voices and there was like a rush of excitement in their tone of, of voice. And that excited me because then all of a sudden, I'm feeling and thinking, there's people behind that door and they know who I am. And I obviously know who they are, but I just can't see them. And that was pretty exciting. I have to say, um, I remember standing there feeling, you know, this, this abundance of love, um, but that doesn't even describe it accurately enough to be honest. But I started to feel really excited thinking, okay, I'm somewhere where there's people that know me and I obviously know them. And anyway, and then the next thing, I hear this paramedics voice again, "Jay, squeeze my finger and then I open my eyes," I sort of say in him, "Screase this finger." And then then I've just sat my eyes again and I'm back in this room. And this time it was very different again. So this time, I think, on all accounts, I think at that stage, um, my body was really failing basically. They all this, it's from discussions with the paramedics and the doctors later. They just said that, um, that I, I just, it was just, "Jay, you have absolutely no idea how lucky you are to still be alive considering the condition that you're in." And, um, yeah, so this third time that I went into the room, this room illuminated, which will bright, white light illuminated. I felt a pull. It was like I felt a pull. And towards this door with no handle. And it was definitely like it felt like, you know, some kind of threshold. It certainly, for some reason, it's like you have a knowing, you know, where you are. And I knew as I felt this pull towards it, I just felt that's it I'm going. And as I'm starting to feel this pull, I got, I felt anxious and I just thought, oh my God, I'm about to carcass it. And then I got angry by my own nature. I'm actually quite a very, I'm a very resilient human being. And I have a quite a fighting experience. I don't know if it's an Australian thing or something, but that is actually just who I am. And yeah, so I remember not wanting to die. And it's amazing what you think of in those, in a moment like that. And the first thing that I thought of is my daughter. And she's 22. And she's about to finish you and ease you. And it's amazing. I just thought of who I loved the most. And I'd give my right arm for my daughter. I'd give her anything she needed. And because I love her so much. And it was her love, my love for her and her love for me. That had me just feel like that's it. I can't go now. I'm not ready to go. I need to see my daughter. I need to tell her how much I love her. I want to meet my grandchildren. I know my life has imperfections like every human being on the planet. We all have our imperfections. And life is challenging, being human is challenging. It's a very easy thing to drift off and go into Heaven, Jeff, it's a pretty amazing beautiful place to be. I have to say, you know, it's all over being human, being it really does. It's just hard being human life that we have here on this planet. It's challenging. We have challenges every day. And you know, when we die, this is just nothing but the most sensational feeling of happiness, of joy, of I can't even describe, I cannot even describe my finger can't even put on, I can't even put 1% finger on the feeling that you have, the joyous, illuminated, radiant feeling of love that you are when you're in Heaven. And yeah, so I thought and I just, I remember standing there saying, I'm not ready to go yet. I haven't met my grandchildren. Yeah, so I'm not ready to go. I'm not going. And I remember then all of a sudden that pulling sensation stopped. And then the next thing I just felt was, you know, quite a heaviness again. And then I was just back in my body. I opened my eyes. I was still in the same condition that I was in, you know, obviously I was probably in a worse condition by that stage. Probably I think about, then when at least about 15 minutes, maybe even 20, what had happened was the paramedics couldn't take me immediately because of the house that I was living at the time. I have since moved. But the house I was living at the time was below the street level they had to call a fire brigade to get me out. So yeah, they literally, I had to wait. I had to wait while I was dying to be put into an ambulance to be taken to the hospital and waiting for the fire brigade to come and lift me out. So, you know, as you can imagine, if someone's dying, every second counts. And when it comes to a heart attack, there's apparently a three hour window. And if you aren't treated within those three hours, you'll have brain damage because it's a complete shutdown of the blood circulation in your body. And, yeah. So, yes, I was in the same condition. Obviously I was in probably a worse condition. And that fighting spirit that obviously that I had, I think is what saved me or, you know, was saying that, you know, I am not ready to go and I wasn't going to go. And I feel like I had a choice. I really do. I think if I was in a situation where I was a patient in a hospital and, you know, you've been in a lot of pain for a very long period of time physically, if you had no quality of life, I could understand when somebody was dying, the choice would be very easy, you know, because it's the feeling that you have when you die, the emotion that you sense that you are, you actually, you become, you become love, you don't feel it, you just become it. It'd be very easy just to go, yeah, I'm going. I'm walking through that door, see a later, but I just, I just, I just, I just, I didn't feel like that at the time. I just thought, no, I'm not ready to go, but I had to fight. I don't think there's, I don't have a shadow of a doubt that if I actually was like, oh, that's it. Beautiful. I wouldn't have actually just stepped through that door. And, yeah, and that's what I happened. That's what happened. And then, and then basically, about two weeks following that experience, I was like, is radiating beam. And I still am actually, this radiating beam of love. It's quite uncanny. I, I described the first two weeks of every, every poor in my body is just, it's just using the sensation of love. And, and I know I've actually seen a lot of different documentaries. And I've read a few books on people with new death experiences, having had the opportunity to, to experience what it feels like and to see where we go when we die. I know, I know I've been, I know I've been given a gift. And I know there's thousands of people on the planet that have been afforded that gift as well. And it's something at the moment that I don't take for granted because it's overwhelmingly changed my outlook on life, how we interact with each other as human beings. What's important, what's really important, what isn't. You know, you really have a great understanding of, you know, when you're dying or when you've died, and when you're in heaven, what that feels like, nothing matters here. Nothing matters. It builds, doesn't matter. The color is your car, doesn't matter. The kind of job doesn't matter. None of that matters. I think what matters here, and it's just as important being here as a human being on this plane is just as important as being this spirit or this soul, which is what we are in the human form. We are a soul. It's just as important, you know, this concept of happiness and where do we get it from and how do we seek it, how do we find it? I think that's why we're here. And that's why we're here as a soul. That's why we've come to visit. And for some people, you know, they're short visits, you know, you hear about children that pass away and they're very young or a baby that's passed away. 12 weeks, you'll hear about an adult that's lived to 100. You know, everybody, every human soul comes here for a different duration. You know, I've just turned 53 a couple of weeks ago. So I don't know. I don't know how much longer I'm going to have here, you know, I've been clinically diagnosed with cardiovascular disease. So I have a stent in my heart now. And on all accounts, you know, I'm doing really well. I tend to most days not to think about it, that I've got this metal object in my heart, you know, helping the blood pump through. A lot of people have them and they're very successful. But yeah, I, that's the experience that I've had. And I certainly moved through the world very differently. It shapes how you think. It shapes how. you want to be an even better person for the people that love you and that care for you. And I love every opportunity I can get to talk to people about their lives. And that's why I wrote the book that I've written. I certainly didn't read it. I didn't write it, sorry, to make money from it whatsoever, because I go, I'm a school teacher. That's been, that is being my purpose, one I'm here. I remember as a little girl, I was about seven or eight wanting to be a teacher and pretending to be a teacher and I've been fortunate enough to to have an education, to enable me to have a career at the moment even at 30 years as a school teacher. It is an absolute joy, it gives me so much joy, but I wrote this book for people to ask themselves questions, to critically think. Unfortunately in the day and age that we do live in at the moment, we have a lot of AI and it's doing a lot of our thinking and questioning. And we don't question ourselves enough. So what I did was towards the end of this story, I wrote and I don't mind sharing the punchline, yeah at all, I really don't, I don't care, it's okay. I ended it with this. So towards the end of the book it says, and maybe, just maybe, you're here reading this for a reason. So ask yourself, if you truly understood how precious life is, what would you do differently starting today? And I asked that question simply because, and it has got something to do with me, as an educator, I've interacted with thousands of people in 30 years, adults and young people are like, if they only knew, if they only knew that that concept of living your life to the fullest, living your life moment to moment, as opposed to worrying about things in the past or thinking about things in their past or worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow, because no one knows, no one knows what's going to happen tomorrow. So why worry about it and why get depressed? You know, I think that's a question, I think that's a question we should ask our children and teach our children when they're little so they have a more fulfilling life. Because we do only get one life to have, you know, depending on what religion that you're sitting on, you know, some religions, you know, like Buddhism obviously believe in reincarnation and I've just come back from a trip to Vietnam and I went to quite a few temples when I was over there and you know, they certainly believe in reincarnation that, you know, you do good in this life or in a life that you'll come back, you know, as something good and you do good, you know, you might come back, I don't know, snake or something, I don't know, that's, yeah, I think that question, that's why I wrote that question at the end of the book because I want people to think, really, I don't want people to waste time because time is of the essence. You know, I didn't realise when I went to bed that Friday evening, that a couple of hours later, I was going to find myself on the floor and struggling until it, struggling to survive and it's been, there's almost amazing thing that is ever happened to me and I'm so grateful because it's now given me a bit more of a better trajectory of what I want to do with the rest of my life. You know, what I want to see, what I want to do, the little things to sitting and happening at cup of tea, and the value of the human life. I just don't think some people in the world just really get it, they just worry and think about just I really do. Yeah, because life is short. Jay Marie, thank you for sharing your experience with us. You're welcome. What do you think the purpose is of that room you kept going to? I was like, I felt like it was obviously, there's a waiting room. Yeah, there's no other, you know, I found to be analytical about it. You know, it was a waiting room. It was a room that they had a seat and had something familiar. You know, I church, Pugh, that was something familiar to me. I go to church not every Sunday. I go to church when I feel like I need to. I'm a Christian woman, I'm not Catholic, I'm just a Christian, Christian, I'm just a good person, I'm very open to a lot of different religions, Buddhism being one of some obviously as well. But you know, in this room there was this church here. So it was something familiar and you know, I didn't take a seat, I just stood there. But definitely the room, it was a waiting room and I'm glad it was a waiting room where you could wait. And you know, having had the opportunity to go into it three times and knowing that I was about to travel through this door you know, and I had a bit of a choice which was, I was really lucky. I think if I had perhaps completely an utterly flatline that I would have been in this room as a soul and just travel straight through that door or the door may have just already been open, I don't know. But definitely that room, it's a waiting room, you know, you hear about people say, oh God's waiting room you know. But I was in a room, there's another shutover doubt, it had a floor, it had a ceiling, it had walls, they were, they weren't hard, they weren't flat, they were quite illuminated and moving if that makes sense. And yeah, it was just, yeah, it was, it was that tunnel thing, you hear about people, quite often you hear about people going into a tunnel, you know, you could say it was, you could say it was a tunnel but it was a room. Having said all that too, prior to this actually happening, I haven't been a person who has looked online and looked at imagery of what people experience when they have near a debt experiences and I've never seen anything before or experienced anything before, like this room that I was actually in. Which in itself then intrigued me about two months ago, I'm online and I'm thinking, I wonder if anyone else is actually, anyone else is actually in a room like this, you know, I've seen pictures of tunnels and people escalating going somewhere and I managed to find one picture and it was an artist in a foreign country, I think Italy or somewhere and they had a picture of a square room, which was identical to what I was in and I actually have, I've emailed that person or email the business who had this picture and this painting and asked them, you know, who is that person that painted that? But yeah, it was definitely like a waiting room, a shadow of a doubt, like a holding room, you know, definitely a room I've never, ever been in before, even at like a carnival or something like that, you know, I just show I've never, ever, yeah, remarkable, just remarkable, yeah. Out of about 800 NDE's, a significant number of people go to the waiting room, it's pretty common and a lot of people even see other beings there, did you? No, I saw no one, no, I, I think like I mentioned before, I felt, no, well, I couldn't say anybody in front of me and I, using my senses, I couldn't sensory feel anyone standing behind me either. I totally felt that I was in that room alone and I remember, and I was only after the fact, I remember not actually being able to physically see myself, not being able to see my hands, my body, but obviously I had, I can't even say that, you know, obviously I could see, but I, again, if I'm too critically, if I'm again, and sort of critically analyze that, which I will. You know, I was a soul. I was a being of something because I knew I was somewhere and I was somewhere, even though I was a physically there. Which aligns itself to a lot of different belief systems that are on in the world, that we are a soul and that we come here in a human form to have an experience. And then we go back to where we come from. So I know there's an author, Mary and William, so she has this book Return to Love. And to me, that seats really beautiful because as a soul, you know, to come from where we come from and to go back to where we come from when we die, is this realm of love. You know, I think quite often too, you know, I look at my daughter when she was a baby and she says, "Well, bundle of love, losing love, nothing but love." And that's her soul, that was her soul, just love. And as a human, as we change, that beautiful sense of love that we are born as changes based on our experiences and lives. So you, you know, you meet people who have had some pretty horrendous experiences and it changes their emotions, their mind, their outlook. And the beauty that actually is within them as a loving human being. But, yeah, I'd like to do a quick turn. Do you feel like there are a bunch of people waiting for you on the other side? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And I could hear the excitement in their voices. I'll keep hear it. And I remember feeling and smiling and I'll smile about it right now because what I think about now is how amazing it's going to be that when I do eventually die, touch wood. Not for quite a while yet. That I'll be reunited with them. Yeah, that we are reunited with the people that we love. And I have some wonderful, you know, grandparents that have passed at an auntie. It was like a mother to me. She passed a couple of years ago, passed away a couple of years ago. And to think that that we'll see each other again is pretty unbelievable. And I know it was their market sense that I could hear it. They just that excitement in their voices and it just got louder and louder. And then I was getting more excited. And then in the same instance, as it started to get louder and they were getting more excited, I did actually feel that third time that I went into this room. I did actually feel like, oh, good Lord, I am going. I'm going to go and meet them in any second now. I'm about to meet them. And then I just thought, you but no, I'm not ready to go. I'm ready to die and I don't want to die. And but yeah, I think I think human here just need that reassurance that I think one, when you die, you will be reunited with the people that you love. And the people that have passed away, that you love family and friends, they're in this most amazing place, most beautiful place. It's pain free. It's a complete polar opposite to pain. And they're okay. And I think as human beings, that is something we find very hard to grasp, you know, because we as a human, we feel that we feel grief, we feel sadness and we feel loss. And we feel the loss of the present of the person that's passed away. It's not their physical presence that we that we feel the loss of, we feel the loss of their soul. Of who they are. And, you know, I miss an auntie of mine because she was just this bubbling, funny, beautiful woman that I love being me. And and that's what I miss. That's your soul, the personality, the soul. And, you know, one thing I would, I want people to know. And I'm a very honest person. I have a reputation with my colleagues as saying how it, how it is, saying how it is. And, and you know, sometimes my daughter even says, "Mommy, you have no filter." And I said, "Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I think that's about being an authentic person. You should, speaking your truth and speaking real rather than talking fluff is what humans need to do more of. And I'm quite happy and adamant to talk about where I've been when I was dying, what I saw, what I felt. And people that know me, my close family and friends, there's no one, no one that actually doesn't believe me. Because I've never even spoken like this before. Yeah, I, I, I don't think Jeff even, I don't know if this is going to sound like a weird or a strange thing. But I honestly don't think that I will dead as many tears as I used to when I go to a funeral, because I know where you go. And it's beautiful. And they're okay. They're not in any plane. And you will see them again. Just won't say them here in this form in this realm. And that's okay. From listening to, I get the idea that the most important thing we should be doing here is experiencing happiness. Oh, but we all suffer. Oh, why is that? I think, well, you know, suffering is a part of the human experience in a nutshell. You know, I've listened to a lot of Wayne Dyer. I've, I've read a lot of spiritual books. I've looked into Sikhism, Buddhism, Islam, their faith, religion, call it what you will Christianity, obviously. You know, as a human being, you know, why are we here? You know, and it is, and why do we have grief and why do we have pain and suffering? It is the human experience. I don't know. I can, I am. I studied sociology when I was at uni. So I really am quite a sense maker. And, you know, let's just say hypothetically, I, I came to this realm, this claim that we live in as a dog. You know, how often do you see a dog suffering? You see them suffer when they're starving off their injured. Apart from that, a dog is just happy all the time. What a, what a, it's a dog's life. I just took my dogs down the beach the other day for a run. It is a smile and running around on the sand, having a great time. Couldn't care less of what was sunny, couldn't care less. If the water was cold, they were just as happy as Larry. But human beings, I think we create our own suffering. We really do. You know, we human beings have desires. And sometimes those desires are unwarring to do. If you live in a, if you live in a first world country, people are always competing for the best next thing, new clothes, more money, blah, blah, blah. If you don't have those things, they're suffering. You've got, you know, obviously the physical aspect of suffering because you're in a human body. And as a soul, we're in a human body. And, you know, I suffered when I had my heart attack. I suffer now, actually, because I take medication. I take aspirin and it's a blood thinner. And it's to obviously make sure the blood continues to go through my habit effectively, but I bruise easily from it really easily. So it's a suffering, but it's, I don't really give a rat's bum about it, actually, to be honest. Yeah, as suffering is definitely self-induced. And I don't think you can put the concept of suffering into context until you've had an experience like what I've had, like thousands of people have had as a near death experience, because I have a such a great appreciation. for life and I'm sure you've had people perhaps say that to you how much more appreciative you are That you wake up of a morning and you open your eyes and you can breathe and you're still here Because you could be somewhere else and Yes, suffering is a contextual thing, you know When I was in Vietnam and I'd just come back I remember sitting outside a shopping center one night and there was this cleaner this man straight clean It was a straight cleaner and You know this man's living on the poverty line. He really is, you know He's got his toolkit. He's got his big broom and everything anyway. I was sitting there and I said hello. How are you? And he's like hello and and I said can I take a picture of you and he's like yeah, of course Anyway, I've got this great picture of him and he's sustaining there and he's gone like this and he's smiling and And and you know, you know, I sat there full well knowing, you know this guy probably doesn't own a home Living on the smell of an all-rag And he's still happy He's happy and He had a great smile and it was really very welcoming and curious and And human beings I think we we create our own suffering. We really do and but I think When it comes to emotions You know in it as a human being we built that way we're built for sadness we're built for anger we're built for for joy We're built for all of these emotions as a human being You know when we are a soul in heaven We're only built for one thing and that's love and I think we're lucky enough that when we come here as a soul to actually have That gift still of love but in this human body with this mind and everything that we have not the brain. It's the mind That we that we have all these other emotions and it's those other emotions if they're not thoroughly thought through enough can create Suffering that you know that perhaps isn't warranted, you know I know about the story about broader and and how you know how he lost his mother but she died during childbirth You know if any human beings gonna suffer more it's a human being that has never known their mother, you know and he talks about that as suffering, you know and and That's the teachings of Buddhism, you know really aligns itself to understanding suffering, you know we said under a tree And he has this you know illumination of Of what we hear what are we meant to be doing and who am I? Who are you? I think people that have Suffered a great deal in life for various things You know people that have suffered a lot I always find that much nicer people Because they know what it's like having a bit of a challenging life They They're very humble people. I think people that miss the opportunity of having some suffering in their life Miss the point You know, um, I think I think I think we're meant to as a human being have suffering In its various forms Because it changes and creates the soul that you're becoming and that you're being Um, I Know when I was in that room and that's so time and I was fighting not to die What I was wanting not asking what I was wanting and demanding Was that I wanted to say my daughter and I wanted to make my grandchildren and I think um Having suffered a A massive heart attack and that's a suffering in itself. It's quite traumatising jeff You know, I think I did have for a couple of months after it um post-traumatic stress that whole experience of um the physical aspect of it Not the not the spiritual aspect of it that was glorious But the spirit the physical aspect of it, you know, it's physical pain, you know, I've been hit by a bus sort of thing You know, I couldn't breathe Um was gasping for air and um and obviously you know Internal organs nothing was working and just hanging in there by you know, I said but that suffering I see that obviously I've suffered um see that is a good thing Because it's making me this different person today and tomorrow So I think suffering is important for all humans it really is Where can people go to find out more about your book? Um so at the moment self published and it's on um Amazon books So if you just type in what a nice surprise heaven is real um on Amazon books You can find it there. There's a couple of other Bookstalls across the globe. There's hatchards in London in England That's got it on that that's selling it online. There's warmark in America So if you go into warmark You can type in what a nice surprise heaven is real you can find it there And then there's I think it's love for telly this to Italian bookstalls Uh that you can be purchased Online and they'll they'll actually Um order it in so you can get the hard copies as well as a it's like a Kindle copy And then there's a book store. I think it's called bookstore. Or in Canada So um so you can actually you know order it on there as well. So And that's where you can grab it from If people would like to reach out to you and ask you questions. Oh yeah. Are you available? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely How can they contact you? Yeah, so So I've got an email address So let me just saw my email address is uh lowercase jay m-a-r-i-e dot blue b-l-u-e at jmail.com And then I've got I don't have a webpage but I've got an Instagram page that I created for the book and I'll just get my little Handle on what that is So I can't remember There are we um So Uh People can find me At um blue jm 73 so it's b-l-u-e j-a-y-m-m 73 So that's my little handle on my my Instagram Yeah, so my email and um yeah an Instagram Before we finish up can you leave us with a last positive message? Hmm spot here um Let me think Well, I think after my trip over to uh To Vena and um and some of the things that I actually saw there I went up to I went up to a mountain um south east Um of Ho Chi Minh City back two and a half hours And it's their highest Most southern mountain. It's actually a dormant volcano. It's called Black Virgin mountain And it's where they're dating one of their days is actually high up on this incredible mountain volcano um I visited there and I went into a cave where she Where she was where she was found uh passed away and there's quite a story to this Bay deen I think her name is this beautiful woman um And when on this particular mountain there's this gy Ganty Buddha And it's not it's just not any kind of Buddha He's happy Buddha So in western culture, I think we see a lot of You know, Buddhas and you know statues and all that sort of thing and for those people that don't Perhaps have a real fur understanding of who Happy Buddha is is happy butter is the one that's sitting with big belly. He's got his hands out like this. So if I've got anything to say to anybody, it's my last line. For my little interview here with you, it would be be happy like happy butter. Keep, I think, I've said this to a friend actually. Keep people that basically suck the life out of you away from you so you can enjoy your own life and be positive and happy. Because that's why we're here. And you get to choose, as a human being, you have the freedom of choice. You have the freedom of choice to turn the TV on or to go for a walk. You have a choice. And if people just exerted that concept, I've got a choice right now. To be happy or sad. To worry about that or not to worry about that. To speak to that person or not. Just to be kind. I'm just cos nothing, cos nothing. I think people would be shocked how much more of a better quality of life that they will actually have. But happiness is a choice. And we can't always be happy about everything. But I think I think 95% of the time, Jeff, we can be pretty happy. But it's a choice. Yeah. Jay Marie, thank you for your message and thank you for being my guest. You're very welcome. It's lovely to meet you. Likewise.