153: Sharing a Room with Jared Freid | Soder Podcast | EP 148

Hey everybody, thanks for watching the podcast. I am on the road building this new hour. I also, last podcast I think I screwed up. I am at the Hartford Funny Bone September 18th and 19th only. Friday and Saturday only, four shows. Hartford Funny Bone tickets at dansoder.com. Then, in October, I'm gonna be at Cusada's in Albuquerque. That's Friday and Saturday, the second and the third of October. Cusada's in Albuquerque, if I'm saying that wrong, I'll probably punch myself in the balls later when I find out. But dansoder.com for all dates. Thanks for watching the podcast, and I hope you're doing all right. It does feel like a lawyer deposition. Where you go, we're gonna turn on the cameras now. It's the Netflix documentary. We rolling? By the way, great promo for the special. I was proud of it. Taking that. Yeah. Jared Freed's special's out now on Netflix. Go watch it. Boost that shit. Boost that shit right now. Do something. Just watch it and enjoy it. Share it. That's all you gotta do. It's a one hour. This is my one thing. We'll move on. One hour story about going to the beach with my parents. In 2018, my dad asked me how much I weighed at the beach. That's crazy. And then I turned that into a whole hour of stand-up that's about my family and body issues. And obviously, last time you were on the podcast, we were talking about your parents. Dare I say, uncomfortable closeness with your life. We are. We are. There is just, I love them. I love hanging out with them. They, there is no like, oh, we won't talk about that. No, we talk, they are just openly, they're like Rickles. Like, they're just like openly. And now the, the thing is, now that I'm a comedian and their friends like know I'm a comedian, like it's like open season that they can just like talk crap to me. Yeah, it's like. I'll tell you what, he used to piss the bed. And you go, why are you telling me these things? So that was actually going to be my question is, does this vindicates them? That you did a whole hour on a thing they did and they go, told you. Told, yeah. They think they love it. They love. My dad, when we did the promo, none of, you go watch it. He is like acting better than like anyone's ever acted because he's just being himself. He was like at like a 30 out of 10. There were like, he goes, literally he was like, look, he, at the end of the promo where he's like, look at him, look at, he's not fat. He's thick. And like, none of that is like him putting it on. It's just. He was like allowed to be his full self. Do you, are you, are you seeing someone? I have a girlfriend now. Yeah. What is that like in bringing that into a very public, your parents talk shit about, you know what I mean? They, she gets it. Cause her family like has some crazy, crazy to it. Every family has it. And I think that like, that's what I love about her is like, she also like, I think you need to, you need to date someone who can see the other angles and where it's coming from. Like when my dad asked me how much I weigh, the problem with parents is that they're 10% right all the time. So like a nugget. It's like a movie when they call it based on real events. Right. Their movie is always based on real events. You're totally right. Where you go. Oh, I like kind of, kind of did happen. Right. I, I, ah, damn. I, I, you're asking how much I weigh. Cause you think I'm a fat fuck. I do think myself as a fat fuck, but I don't go to the beach and think about that. While at the beach, like I'm naked right now. I'm going to have a good time. And you're ruining my enjoyment. Right. You're ruining the day. So like she, I think what I love about my girlfriend and I, but I know it's gonna, there's gonna be a day where my parents will get too comfy, cozy, say something that they think is towards her in any, it'll just be, it might be too hard at me where she's like mad for me. Oh, that's the best feeling though. Can I tell you right now? That's like the sign of a great, great relationship or that you're in love is when that they get mad for you about something that your parents said to you and you go, right, right. You just look at him and you go, thanks. It's like when someone wrongs you on an airplane and you turn to someone that's sitting in another seat that has nothing to do with the person who wronged you. And they just look at you go, yeah, no, that was horrible. And you're like, I, that's a hero. We're missing that. We're missing that from community. I agree. What happened is everyone thought that was what the, what the comment sections were going to be. No, not you know, the person that goes, yeah, I tell you the one that made me feel great that I'm still high off. Please. You know what ruined it before you get into it? Headphones, headphones, everyone's in their own world. So you're not like, I know something crazy is going on when I'm one headphone out. Yeah. Arched around a corner. Yeah, dude. And sometimes I will miss context because my headphones are in, I hate it. And then I go, what did I miss? Just yesterday, walking to the cell, I'm at the subway station and this guy and his girlfriend are going, what the fuck? What the fuck? And this guy's just walking off. And I know if I didn't have my headphones in, I've would have heard. I would have gone to the bathroom at the movies. You're like, I that's a 10 minute spot that I can't go back to the DVD and watch it later. But there is something great about someone going like I saw that year. And you go, it's that's a drug. That's totally a drug. The one I'm still riding off of. Because when I lived in Queens fucking years ago, I haven't lived in Queens in over five years. You know, I lived at Astoria Boulevard station, which is like stairs. Yeah. There isn't an elevator. So whatever there would be like, I don't know, either someone with a baby carriage or somebody that needed like an old lady lifting like the cart for her groceries. You just help out. The community comes together like a scene out of Spider-Man. Right. And so I'm leaving the Dunkin Donuts right by the train station. And this lady, this little lady's got her baby carriage and I go to grab it. And another guy grabs it and they walk up the stairs and I was like, oh, okay. And it's like what happened or whatever. And then this old black guy's behind me. He goes, I see you big man, you get credit for that. And I went, thank you. And it called me big man and everything. Big man from a black guy. Maybe I don't. My feet didn't touch the ground for a week. I was like, I'm the best person in the world. You are a hero. Oh, black dude. That's I see you big man. You still get credit. That's thank you. Oh my God. Skipped up the stairs with my coffee. I was like the janitor from Rudy. He's like, ah, he's like, ah, you're like, who's the wild man now? Oh, white people using mythical, black, old, old black people to feel good. Right. Bagger Vance. Tale is all this time. But it was like that, like those acknowledgements. It's all you want. You just want to know. I you're it's the Jim Halpert. Look at the. Camera. Yeah. And you're just looking for what I was on a flight. This girl, this woman had three kids with her. And then this girl who I already knew was crazy. I clocked her from the minute she, she was in a wheelchair like getting wheeled, not her own. It was the airport wheelchair getting wheeled by someone who works at the airport and she's doing selfie videos in the chair. So I was like, we got one. We got one. Like I'm like eyes on that one. I looked at my girlfriend. I go something. Something's up. Keep an eye on her. That is funny that I love that. You can go like, like a detective. You go something's off. Yeah. That woman's too self and self involved and sucks to be in a wheelchair. Right, right, right. Would have been humbled by a real condition that would have put her in a wheelchair. Totally. Like I did the wheelchair. She would have been humbled and totally. And and also you have someone at the airport whose job is like like that's not the job, you know, where your job is like, hey, you're just on duty for like helping people. And it's usually it's older people. She was like 25 and selfies. It's like, you know, it's like a mad lib that didn't go together. I was like, that's something you're describing something that just makes me angry. It was so angering, but you can't. You got to start. You start at she's she's got something off. So we get on the airplane. The same girl is now walking behind. She's behind a woman who's helping her kids get in the seat. And the literally the girl she was dressed like, you know, the movie Just Friends with Amy Smart and Ryan Reynolds. And then. Who plays the pop star with Anna Faris? Anna Faris is crazy. She's like the sex crazed pop star. That's who it looked like. And she literally she goes, please move. I've been standing here forever. And then the woman turns back. The mom is like, I can't believe it. And literally me both headphones out. I'm like, yeah, she you popped up like a meerkat. Oh, I was in. I got it. I got to know. And you're up on your seat. I'm just looking back into his hole for snacks. She goes, I said, please. Okay. I Emily at one point, my girlfriend, she literally looked at me. She goes, you need to turn back around. Like I was like, I'm on this for the first hour of the flight. Yeah. Like this is we're not moving. We're not leaving this scene. This is the OJ case. This is we are having a crew here. What happened on the flight? She was totally fine. She had one other moment where she went to the bathroom at the same time as the mom. And I was like, okay. Scene two. Here we go. Were you mad? Nothing. So mad. I want, and, and I deserve it. I wanted to be that for the mom though. I was actually up looking for the mom so that she'd go. And I was a ready. I was literally ready, willing and able to give her the full that's I was going to jowl just the full shake. I think the problem of this is we've lost containment of autism and now it's, There are hops. with aughts hot's with us there's hot's with a great merch there are put that on a shirt there are hot people that are autistic well it's the spectrum because every if the spectrum you know the spectrum exists i you would say there you go we're all kind of waiting the for the asa you're gonna be you know because that's the way we argue is like as a woman who needed to be pushed in a wheelchair every comment on everything is as a yeah they go into their as a as a man that actually has an autistic son i don't like this comparison right great i'm saying we've allowed everyone to use it so everyone's going to be acting a little like it where it's like there are real people that have like oh right no there's there's a breaking case of emergency that you can do where you go let me just find a way to victimize myself and then i will make you the evil villain in this story look at how many older rich comedians that become assholes just go actually i just realized them on the spectrum that is what a cop out can we just call that part can we just be like that's a pussy move like i i you know it's a bitch move it may be not respect seinfeld there's a point where like dude you're honestly i liked it better when he was just a dickhead because i remember the first time he was a dickhead to me in 07 when i moved here what he was a dick to you he's a dick to everybody dude i only met him once he likes people when they're famous or when they ball wash them right he doesn't like just wrangle it regular random comics he gave me one compliment and at gotham yeah there you go zach gotham and you were probably clean and you didn't do anything i did a joke it was um i said that i you know it was from my first special uh that homeless pimp over here was uh you know directed and made with me um the i said that uh i believe everything is healthy i can rationalize any food and i was like i think uh well rationalize any food it was like it was like justin's peanut butter cups you know reese's are unhealthy but justin's peanut butter cups are i will believe give me abs and he goes i go on stage and i had my recorder going in my pocket and he goes justin's peanut butter cups it was there just the whole time that's cool and that was cool that like he gave like a listen he does he does love right that's what now i'm almost like now that we're talking about this i go is he autistic because like the way he is like you might actually not be copping it does explain that he's so obsessed with the words like you've ever you guys are watching my opinion change in real time well have you ever heard him talk about like writing a joke where he's like i love it he goes don't act like i did i read fucking no i know i but i'm saying the the i was even a fan of a 17 year old girlfriend not him dating her i wanted to date her i was a fan of that when they're like oh you remember a 17 year old girlfriend you go i don't forget those titties and brother at the time i was like 15 so she was age appropriate for me we're like high-fiving him from denver i was like and look at us the best of all time right also the movie comedian greatly affected me being a comedian it's quite a uh watch i've watched it obsessively like to the point that i wouldn't say like if you're a cop if you want to be a comic watch and i'd say like just in my it's like the way musicians talk about like zeppelin three it's like i don't know zeppelin three it's just like a lot of musicians not even that album but like there's albums paris is burning for a person that has gone rupaul's drag race exactly but they it was just one of those things where it greatly affected my my uh and then he was he was a dick but now that we're talking about it and i've watched him ad nauseum talk about drug writing and i love it and i love to watch like a word because it sounds funny he's right and he is right so right have you ever explained the movie comedian to someone who's never seen it no i just did this like a couple weeks ago with my girlfriend i was like oh there was this movie comedian where they watch seinfeld like come back to stand up and they profile another comedian the more i explain that i'm like that is crazy that that movie like existed like why just can they what would you like the fact that it was a pretty big deal because seinfeld did call his last hbo special i'm telling you for the last time there was a great promo where there was a funeral and other comics were there they're going like you're gonna use it can i use that yeah and he basically told the world i've been doing this act forever i'm done i'm done doing stand-up this is it and then the show ended and so what was crazy is he was like i'm not done doing stand-up and so that's the whole point of the documentary right was he was coming how does how does a legend restart would you have done it if they asked you to be the orny no that's what that's the crazy part to explain to someone but that's what i'm talking about because you go and then there's this other young comic that they're just like following along and he put himself listen i can't fault him for doing it because at the time there were no avenues and it did make him famous but it made him famous in a wrong way and i also think people got i've seen orny adams fucking murder no he like i've seen him kill in a way that you're like god damn we were in montreal i was on a show with him and i was like fuck i actually think there's there should be more empathy for him he says some lines he says some crazy stuff but it's pre-internet commenter pre-cameras on everything like pre-knowing about editing and how you're going to be portrayed what you we are so like the way i'm not saying he shouldn't you know again he gets outed as not looking great no also watch the documentary and then once you're done watching the documentary watch it with uh director's commentary with colin and jerry seinfeld is it i mean it's a it's a whole different movie oh i gotta watch i've never seen that drinking diet cokes talking shit it's so funny it's colin quinn and jerry watching the movie yeah i would love to see that because i i think about it now you're like man listen if you're worried about your health understandable if you're a hypochondriac absolutely understandable you're talking to the king hypo but you do need to do something about it can't just let it fester in your brain but if you're worried about something go to zocdoc zocdoc.com or the app will help you find a doctor that's close to you that's available that's in your network and you can just set up an appointment and then stop worrying it's really awesome i mean i used it i had a i have a problem with my toe had to find a podiatrist went on the zocdoc app found a podiatrist in my neighborhood that was available that day that's what i'm talking about zocdoc lets you search and compare 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louise cash app visa debit flex cards issued by sutton bank member fdic and the bank core bank north america pursuant to a license from visa usa incorporated see terms and conditions the sutton prepaid card sutton debit flex card and bank core debit flex card cash app green features savings direct deposit roundups overdraft coverage and discount provided by cash app block incorporated visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures you know you just got to make sure you say all that stuff that's like and cut yeah that's like my that's like a new long bit that i have but it's really true but it's it's it's i that's the part and we're back but that's the part where i was like telling her about this movie and how like all these he just didn't look great and then you go and in hindsight what's interesting about this is you can tell he was fucked with it editing there was just it's just not again they knew what they had there in wrestling they call it protecting something someone so when you're in the ring with someone they're they say the biggest thing is you're protecting your opponent so when he lands you're going to try to grab the back of his head so it doesn't hit the ground right just so their neck doesn't so you he was unprotected oh my god they fucking dropped them right on his head multiple times it's and and like i there's every reality show you know the people there's an edit there's an edit there's the there's a hero edit they can edit you in different ways right but there was some stuff that he just like watched the documentary there's stuff he says that you're like there's no you don't have to do that and also the the for me not talking about orny adams that made me love colin quinn that was the beginning of me going like i fuck with this guy because i liked him on weekend update yeah and i always liked him when he popped up and stuff but then that and then i uh tough crowd tough crowd came out right as comedian was coming out yeah i was like this is my and also i used to listen to ona and so i was the hang like he he is the he is the consummate he is the comedian yeah colin is a comedian i opened for him once uh at a temple i think i got pulled in he got booked to the temple they're like we need you know i need a jew and i drove down drove back with him and his i think it was his girlfriend his wife now his wife now at the time his girlfriend and he was just so cool about the whole thing like he's just so he's in the comfortable spot that i think we all like i don't think comedians really like we just want to do our shows and make a living and if you're in new york city you can go watch him every monday night at the fat black pussycat and he runs an hour and every time i watch him there's like three pimp and i talk about this all the time there's three or four bits where i go it's fucking unbelievable right no way i would have written that one of my most cherished experiences of comedy was the first time i got to open for colin and he knows i'm like a comedy nerd yeah and we get into the car it was and we were driving up to binghamton new york and we get in the car and he goes first two hours i don't want any comedy questions and i go it's fair and we're like in the car for like three and a half hours hour three i remember he had a legal pad because he was working on his shit and he throws it on the dashboard he goes all right what do you got that's so and i go you started in 1984 with chris rock and adam sandler and he goes yeah and i go is it crazy you did snl after they left and he goes yeah it was a little weird it was like a job where my i like i was asking him like who's the best comic that showed up fully formed who was like the best comic when they showed up you're like that guy's amazing he's like greg giraldo he goes he was a lawyer so he was already good at doing bits i just got to ask him and then at one point colin goes you know what's wrong with your generation you guys know everything he goes it's better not to know everything no it's better to experience it and when he said that i was like great now this rumor that michael meyer that mike meyers wrote the role scott evil for you and he's like yeah and i turned it you know i was working on my own thing you were already doing a podcast you were doing like the i've seen the scott evil thing go viral already you know like oh yeah i mean it's just i i was like because i think he's like uh when you're it's comics it's you know the similar to wrestling it's similar to bands where you have a guy and you go this is my guy i like this guy i want this guy to do well and as his career goes on you know for comedy it's colin quinn for music it's queens of the stone age for wrestling is fucking shouting benjamin or you know what i mean like right now you're like i love this guy i want this guy to do great no i i there's been there's a few comics that i've seen where i'm like you know i i i do want like a normal life sure that is also a comedian's life we're the same you know right you you get into this shit and you go after a while you go i just want this to be a job that i love right right and that's like the the boulder up a mountain of it all you know you're like and i and it's colin's demeanor colin's way about him at the love that i love that it's like him coming in sometimes it seems you know it feels like he's like playing a little golf yeah you know like coming in and whacking it around for 18 holes that's how it feels like when you see him and he gets clean shots where you go whoa oh this guy i can play that thing's off the tee right that thing was screaming oh my god and so did your girlfriend watch comedian no i i gotta show it to her that's so we're gonna end up watching it together now because i but i she's been you know she she really is like the most supportive person i've ever had in my life with this like i my parents never encouraged me creatively really my parents were very encouraging me as a supportive they're supportive my parents are like you're a good businessman and you're really fooling people with this whole funny thing that's like my parents my dad do they think your brother's funnier than you they don't think of funny not funny like everyone in my family was a character the the funny angle of it my dad i remember i started doing comedy my dad goes you don't even look funny that's funny that's just a funny thing right like he is like everyone in my life my grandmother my mom my dad like my aunts my uncles everyone i think that's like also like why you have like so many comedians from boston like everyone in boston flat out it's just a character and punchy the only city that comes close to the natural humor of boston is philadelphia yeah i don't know about you but i think that's the only city that comes close to philadelphia and boston are the two and also they're mean cities yes and that's where it is it's like new york i would say new york is up there i would say the three borough new york not manhattan manhattan's not manhattan transparent people coming and going yeah brooklyn queens long island right they were counting that as new york right i put them as third okay philly is second because you can get a drunk lady from fucking west philly in a robe smoking a cigarette going like hey look at you fucking fat ass this guy's fucking running downtown you can't even fucking run runs like a fucking girl and you're like hilarious sure boston is boston i my mother-in-law katie's mom's hilarious i said this on i was on a podcast on mina kimes podcast shout out mina kimes she's great she's a seahawks fan and she does games for the rams go for it go for it but she she knows ball she knows ball like a motherfucker she was great but she also talks love island or oh okay and love is blind is a world that i put my toe into and she's like the boston season's coming up and she's like what is your you gotta watch the boston season because again this is why boston philly like these towns with person there's a personality there that you're like i'm tuning in for whatever boston love is blind gives me can i tell you what it is i think it is a majority of a population that has been stepped on most of the time and it's been stepped on most of the time and their lives in a way they've been kicked punched and had their hair pulled in a way shoveling snow that's what it is what it is it's shoveling snow it's having ice it's having like new york winters are not as harsh boston winters are just way more harsh with a city i'm i'm putting a fourth city in contention okay chicago yo chicago's there chicago has funny chicago i think and i said this to me and i'm i think this is the difference i think boston is like philly with charm like they're and she was like what do you think is going to happen from the boston love is blind season i think and i said there's going to be someone you hate but you would still like kind of fall in love with because he has an accent do you know how many guys i have met that go away to school and their nickname is boston no because they gave it to themselves or someone gave it to them because they had like a half an accent every college had the kid boston and i always hated that guy because i'm boston without an accent so i'm like boston without an accent like yeah one of the greatest experiences of my life yeah a reason that made me fall in love with katie even more than i already am we go to her high school reunion and we're meeting some of her old friends from high school sure and this one guy's really nice he's super nice and he's like hey and i could tell they're old friends or whatever and she's and he's like how are you and i'm like hey man so he's like wow you know i live in boston i live down by the pack or whatever and then katie goes accents new huh like that oh my god he goes ah fuck so i live by the park and i was like it is the greatest offense fucking crazy of a suburban guy from the boston area and i know all these people colorado we had none of that we oh we have that in spades dude we have sense and i remember becoming friends my first foray into the massachusetts lifestyle or knowing people from massachusetts is joe list it was joe list ira proctor and dan bulger those are the guys i hung out with when they moved to new york and the thing they would always bring up is guys from massachusetts yes that moved to la yep and all of a sudden they're like wearing a fucking boston hat all the time they're like scally cat they're like fucking kid you have no clue how fucking hot it was when i was growing up growing up in newton massachusetts was so difficult yeah no katie it's annoying katie and her brother don't have accents right now katie and her brother don't have accents right now right i don't either my brother doesn't i moved you know my dad has one but it's not not thick to me so what's funny is i think is that is a i think that is a millennial thing maybe we're wrong but the boomers that i'm around from boston all don't know they have access well they they're not aware i boomers are confident and unaware it's a great combo it's it's that is the most accurate description i've ever heard in my life and i wish i had it but that's the thing we are all millennials we're in with the movie version of our lives. sure you know we all want to be the mighty ducks that's why you self-victimize you don't want to be the hawks so you want to be the ducks you want to be the punch up we are brutally aware of that in a way that a boomer a boomer would never create a boston accent to create a character that they wanted to be they go i don't talk like that no why would i do that what would that say about me and you go no people are doing it that's the thing my parents don't even understand that grift really my parents are like why would someone fake a boston accent right why we're not even from boss because it makes a guy look hotter and more approachable and he's can be someone else's personality they'd be like what do you mean hotter and more they wouldn't even understand the grift do you see old videos of yourself and hear it at all and hear it the accent yeah no i never had it i had i i did one word some people had it in it when you go home you do hear it and start a little bit of a draw i'm sure katie does a version of that there was an old video of her and she had where i was like there was a couple words i was like yo don't act like you didn't have well it's also because you had a little bit of if you stay beyond 18 i left at 18 so like sure no accent and then move away i have it's locked now it's gone i i'm like i'm like you know i'm news i could be a newscaster with this accent i all i had was rum instead of room i say the bedroom oh the bedroom rub or drara the drawer oh yeah i can't do it it makes me furious rum and drawer no i would say rum it's over in the drawer it's a drawer right this is a fucking drawer there was but bj when you get him back in philly right starts going oh you want to get a haggie hey you want like he starts like oh yeah the water that can happen but it's not and it was funny as one time we went to like we were down we went down to philly for something i was with jay we were at his parents house yeah he's at his mom's house in south jersey and he was like have you got these haggies and i go these haggies where did that come from but it is it's him just going home it's just going home there's a little bit but it's not i love that katie called him out because dude it was also one of the things that i love about her she did in such a sweet way she was right about it she just goes right the accent's new yeah it's a shit talk it's like look at what you're doing dude and that's what i like about yeah that's what i like about philly it's a shit talk it's a shit talk it's a shit talk it's a shit talk it's a shit talk it's a shit talk i had with my family from san francisco because they were very passive aggressive because san francisco is a city where they go like oh you're gonna sit there that's okay and we know that i was gonna sit there and then you go do you not want me to sit here just fucking say it or not i you i i you know that from performing there when we perform in san when i perform in san francisco i remember doing opening for michelle and i'm opening for i did what a hundred dates with michelle yeah and it was my first time being and i was in front of michelle's audience post democratic i mean the uh white house white house correspondence center so it was almost amazing of michelle that's how good a comic she is she's like ah okay i did the like most left-leaning thing made fun of the president um or did the white house correspondent i'm gonna bring a able-bodied white guy who looks like he stuck you in a closet you know like in 2018 2019 that's yeah brother that's progressive right it is that was progressive i give michelle i got a guy that might have voted for trump in his first fucking term right and they go what is this what is this i need a gay uh amputee totally that is a black gay amputee and michelle was like i did think i think she might have said this i don't want to put words in her mouth but she was like i need you to like get rid of the people that i kind of don't want to perform for anymore shout out that's i mean like pruning your audience is the thing that people do not understand and i right because you just want because then you'll get people that just want something else right they're there for the thing that got you you know they saw a video once they're not in on what you do you know and i have billions fans i'm sure right there are fans of mine that uh the coolest ones were they got into me because of billions then they got into the bonfire and now they're in the world no no no that you want that right that's that's the that's the win that's the best case right there's a bad side what you're getting a lot of the times is oh the guy from billions oh i'm gonna go scream billions at him do that we all have it oh i'm gonna go yeah i yelled at the bachelor oh yeah i had you know i had bachelor fans yes talk about the bachelor and i had a bachelor bit that i liked yeah so i would do it and i go we've done it yeah and some people they were just there for that which i'm a wrestler that's okay i i love wrestling i go on wrestling podcasts and they go like and i still this day get guys going you didn't do macho man you go i would hang myself if i was going on stage doing a bit as macho man right and i know people go i'm like to see that that's fine i would genuinely myself if that was where my that's not what this is i'm sorry i like doing it on podcasts it's the thing that i did it for friends it's a fun impression it's a great bit it's a great like when you do it as like macho man doing something listen it's right it's a great podcast but by the way there are people that i go like don't go like and i go i still on podcasts and they go totally get it and there are people that just get it and they go more people get it than don't but the people that don't you go they're loudly not getting it right you're i gotta bite my tongue right and i have to be appreciative and i remember when i opened for michelle in san francisco i had like the hardest time because this is now the the most like left-leaning cheer but then i'm like looking to get rid of them and i remember i get like i'm like not doing great and i'm and then i and i go and i'm jewish and i could feel like a collective sigh from the room and he's not an oppressor right and i go oh did i did my people struggle enough for you and i made fun of them yeah and i was like okay to tell my jokes now about dating like and a lot of those audiences and this is just someone who had family also my family from there was conservative my grandma was a republican my dad fucking you know it's always funny when there's like a shitty person who's conservative because you immediately go look at your audiology he's just an alcoholic uh but everyone assumes everyone from the bay area is very liberal and like cut your cock off if you're a man like no i hate it and you go what what's interesting about a lot of those people and this is what's interesting because you're from the east coast boston is like years of you know what reminds me of a skillet that's just been used over and over and it's got flavor i'm from colorado and my family's from san francisco so i spent a lot of time with my grandma and my dad out there yeah both transplant cities very heavy transplant cities so what you get is you get these people that move to the city and almost don't have to do what we're talking about about how you move to college and all of a sudden you're from boston right it's the reverse of that where they move to denver and they go i'm so colorado i still get that all the time a guy in a zip-up fleece that goes i go to rei every weekend i can't imagine not going to breckenridge and just like ripping fresh pow pow and you go where are you from he goes i grew up in tampa bay florida right and you go yeah okay cool they're cosplaying a denver yeah i don't care that's cool go be colorado but the thing that bugged me was they're trying to out colorado me yeah so they're going like oh you grew up here i could never leave and you go well i did but i live in new york and i like living there but i also don't move here and go like well down on the range we had a pretty tough time nor do i move here and go i'm a new yorker it's like i'm not a new yorker i'm from colorado and i've lived here for over i'm okay with whatever no it happens a lot but san francisco the reason i bring all this up is get a lot of people that are these tight audience members right and who act like they're all liberal and shit a lot of them move there to work in tech no they're getting paid money and they're kicking out the actual people that lived in san francisco so they got to move to fucking sacramento or live in fucking can't even live in the east bay anymore and they're going like no and it's like you're not even from here right right right don't act like you're a fucking liberal blue hair right yeah and and while not even believing in it you're just trying to put on an act you just want someone to feel bad you're not even believing in it you're just trying to put on an act you just want someone to feel bad right you're you watched milk and now you have a new personality my mom was in the building when he got killed so you don't see me going around going like my mom was but she wasn't that crazy that's crazy like she was literally like in the building like giving forms she was working at a lot she was like uh what's the level below lawyer where they like do all the uh work for the uh paralegal paralegal she was a paralegal for a law firm in san francisco and she was delivering paperwork the only reason i know that job is from king of queens yeah because she was paralegal but i remember that and being like that my mom was like the milk movie was coming out she was like i was in the building when harvey milk got killed and you're like what the fuck what what a what a what a crazy fact to like find out later in life like that's like right that's that's boomers yeah that's the unaware of boomers that is like not knowing cool story right right you've that should have been your opening i'm sitting here a baby just not knowing that story also i learned it when i was like they made that movie like it past 2001 i was not living in the house no and i was like you're in the what if you're starting a business job less that what a what a tough thing to do but if you're a small business owner check out square square is a not only the little square they put on your phone so you can do a credit card but it does a lot more than that it balances your budget it tells you where your money's going tells you what employees need to be 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And you're like, I gotta be the best. everyone's like you chill the fuck out bro yeah i think that was me until covid yeah i was so tight gripped on it just being like i promise you i'm funny at stand-up and people were like chill and then after covid i was kind of like oh i should just go work on my stand-up and like i kind of don't really need to be up in everyone's face and right i don't need to be like dming people hey and it's like i i stop looking at comments and i know comics say that but i genuinely hit a point in my life where i'm 43 years old and i don't need to get worked up right because you know what comments are is just someone driving by and going like nice shoes right and then i go you don't like my shoes it's like i do understand a bad comment too on tiktok more than anything because like can you imagine you're just like having fun watching stuff you like and then suddenly someone just says something you hate yeah and you go oh i am like i'm angered by that that's that is a little triggering i think the most sensitive part of this entire relationship of being a comic is please come watch my stand-up i'm not telling you you have to if you don't like it by all means move forward move on and i can give you rex if if if if like i love comedy right you didn't like mine i could probably put you in the direction of someone that you might like and i think that's going to be the correction the internet needs to make yeah i'm not here to tell you what you should like i'm just here to offer you an option this is and if you don't like it you don't like it right and by the way ain't nobody dislikes this guy more than this guy look in the mirror look at the mirror i got your brother get in line you think you can be mean to me oh you should hear me after i eat a chinese food dinner i will talk badly about myself and i think that was one of the reasons i used to go to the comment section it was because of the self-hatred and i'd go like see see and then you go what am i gaining off this now it's just come see my silly little stories and i hope you like it i i there's two people there's a there's colin quinn where i'm like i love watching him then there's the end of the ray romano special i don't know if i ever said this to you the ray end of the ray romano special that was done at the cellar he him and his family go have pizza after the show and it's like the sweetest moment and i watch that and i'm like that's the goal that the family's like cool with it none of them you know we've seen so many comics on the road where it's like let me talk horribly about my family and you're like they probably haven't heard this and then they're like oh the kids they're not even 10 anymore they're 85 you know like and you're like there was when i started in tucson i was emceeing or maybe featuring for this guy yeah all weekend did his joke about his two four-year-olds and the two twins right talk like this this this this and they were at the bar after the saturday show and i'm like yeah and he goes i'm out early i go guy get home man four years old he goes oh they're 26 now he said right the fuck does that mean that's why that ray romano say i'm like oh you can do this and be a normal guy getting pizza with his family talking shit oh my god i like that bit i didn't like that bit you got a wife that's there happy to be there i know he made a billion on you know like on a tv show but i also think um a big problem with culture in general these days is we've given up the idea of being happy through love in order to be happy through things right money possessions houses clout whatever it is they're on that that's not real what's real is like having someone because you know you talk about your girlfriend and how she's been the most supportive you've ever had about someone i'm interested to see the moment where where your parents say something that pisses her off right because it happens and by the way there's not a better feeling yeah then and you know my mom and katie get along famously but there's been shit she said to me where katie like later has been like i didn't like that and you're like right and you just finally this moment where you just go like i didn't realize i've been waiting for her so that when i'm around my mom i could go all right so you see that shit right well that shit's crazy right you were the son i was an only child right no one there to be like yeah my brother would go those fucking nuts yeah they call it confirming your reality right your brother was going like yeah dad mom are nuts i was by myself with this yeah i can't imagine that's that's tough so it's great to finally have someone to go like that's nuts right that's fucking nuts and you go okay now we're going to have a baby and i'm like yeah i'm going to have a baby and i'm going to have a little traction now we're moving i love yeah listen i i want to ask you something sure i saw a story that i was like this is a dan soda story that i actually thought of you and i was like i'll put it in my pocket when i come here for the podcast and i'm pulling it out what do you think of taylor sheridan how do you feel about that guy that's the guy that did um yellowstone and now he has a billion dollar contract with i think ryan murphy is he straight yeah yeah yeah okay i don't know i i but you know that ryan murphy guy does like um is that his name the guy that did like the oj show on fx and he did oh i don't know him i just know he does this whole ryan murphy does this basically i think there's like you know how there's like there's there's two people there's ryan murphy or taylor sheridan they're like they're like all of hollywood at this yes and that's what they're doing is they're finding people that are making you know uh so he ryan murphy was a producer on glee and and then he did american horror story he his new show's the shards okay but he does like 9-1-1 9-1-1 nashville okay yeah so he has a huge taylor sheridan like has written like a an amount of shows cario he did both sicario's um see i don't know him see taylor sheridan's got some shit dude because he wrote heller high water which is one of the best movies great movie yeah that movie's great fucking puts on unreal movie and and it says something he's kind of i heard wind river's awesome but he did sicario he did lie this is taylor sheridan or the taylor okay so he also does yellowstone dutton ranch the madison land man so these are the ones that he's made his money off of i heller high water i didn't know that was him that to me puts him in a different like artist category but i think he realized i think he made a bunch of great shit and then he goes you want me to diarrhea out money and that's what he's doing right now he is totally yellowstone's just like covering the bowl with money yeah yellowstone is like if they injected the flag into your veins where they're just basically like are you an american do you love they took a ford truck and turned it into tv shows so do you know that he owns a ranch and the way he directs shows this is something i was like soda has to know this i don't know he'll direct his shows from a horse so awesome can you imagine because just doing a scene and you're like hey lady sorry about that right oh watch out watch out silver dollar right watch out take it again yes oh sorry about that yes and action right whoa whoa whiskers hold on hold on hold on mustard's trying to buck me just going backwards him eating an incrustable from crafting while on a horse a pa handing it to him right right can we actually get that on uh can we punch in on that he's in video village and the horse is just like eating someone's hair right he's like yeah don't worry about her eating a rice crispy treat oh dude how many p.m. wearing a cowboy hat and a vest how many p.a.s get kicked i told you not to come up from behind i told you now do not surprise whiskers i'll take a coffee with cream and sugar and i think for thunder she'll take some hay do you bring some hay do you have any hay in crafting i knew you were gonna love this oh yeah that's crazy can you imagine i couldn't take that seriously i'd be like because i love you and that's why i caught can we do he's from the fucking horse you he goes we're waiting for taylor he goes well it can't take him that long he comes right again from oh here it comes sorry guys had to go to the bathroom real quick had to climb back on my horse that's a wrap that's ridiculous crazy so what that is is he's just a great artist and then he got so much money and then they got so much money that he was just and by the way everybody this is what happens to your favorite hollywood artists they make great stuff a ton of money yeah that money changes everyone around them that then fortifies in a circle and then all those people like just parrots just go yes yes right yes and then that person in the middle of that circle all they hear is yes and then they go crazy and then and then they direct on a horse and then a guy with a great imagination is allowed to color outside the lines yes with their because he's going you know it would be great if i could just be on my horse while doing this because god and someone was like this walking from me did you see that i was walking from you yeah no one can go did you just say you want to direct from a horse that's crazy he's crazy does he do it like normally or is it like once in a while i i don't know i i saw that and i was like what uh like you have to answer to someone that's on top of a horse that is not a cowboy that is is playing the part of a cowboy while you're playing the part of a cowboy well there's a bunch of questions i have number one is he from that part of the cowboy i don't know i don't know part of the area that's what i don't know and like because that's a lot of this show wikipedia are on imdb taylor sheridan's an american actor screenwriter director boo boo boo yeah nothing about his personal life oh he's he's also starred in sons of anarchy well he was an actor he was an actor that like that's why yeah so he was an actor and then he actually was like had some good ideas made it and then his actor brain went full actor yeah he went full artist because this is what he would do if he could do it and not everyone should be allowed to fly not everyone should be allowed to go anywhere with their imagination i feel like there's a pa that has to saddle up his horse every day that's crazy where they get to set and they go like i gotta go put the blanket and the saddle on her and you know where i started i was the horse guy for taylor sheridan i got you know what i would do i'd fucking take taylor sheridan's horse out of this kennel out of the stable every day i'd feed it i'd brush it brush it i'd put the saddle on i'd clean out it's that's someone's reality right now and they're on in their mind they're like i'm on the fast track to hollywood yeah and by cleaning out the my dentist loves ryan murphy yeah and so she's always like you gotta watch the shards on fx but i read a review and it was like it's a dog shit show because ryan murphy's just tossing these shows out there similar to taylor sheridan where you just go oh this is you just vomited it up once you have the formula that's kind of the bad i mean that's what we see on the internet is like a lot of people show where she was a lawyer it was on amazon and it made shit that was a ryan murphy show oh really yeah yeah they said you you can do anything you can make that's exactly right yeah yeah but they don't see this is a problem with a lot of is they do that for the show and they don't do it for the show they do it for the show they do it for the show they do it for the show they do it for the show they do it for the show right but then there's young people with these great ideas well there's no go ah we can't make the risk well there's also we gotta buy taylor a new horse right well this is like the this is like wealth inequality like shows up in your your art kind of thing because oh yeah now you have two guys who are like giving all the money and then they're like ah we just have no money you know like we just maybe people go what do i do in this business i go i i spent eight years trying to get a tape for late night i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know and now i don't care about late night right no now they go do you want to go on foul and i go he's corny and his audience is corny the best i feel is when i make something i really like that i made and i just put it out and i go oh and then weird enough it does well like it gets the reaction that motherfucker proved it for me with yeah because hbo turned me down hbo told me they only wanted comics that have a message i heard a story and i was like my special is a story it's literally a story that's what they said they want a comic with a message a story and i was like i have a so and then they were like they're gonna love oh not you know it's like so and then we fucking make this or whatever and then they go well hold on we didn't get to see but we did it on youtube and it was like oh the people like it right there's one good stand-up right they're out good stand i mean that's what you know listen i was i was happy to come on here because i'm like i know people are watching this and i'm gonna go oh they're gonna give it 10 minutes because like if you give it 10 you're gonna get to the end like i some of you will love it yeah i think some of you will absolutely love it and you'll go like oh it's fucking great i really enjoyed it that's all this is now right hey i hope you fuck with me that's all i can say it's just going like i gotta hope you fuck with me i'm gonna keep trying yeah we're all just storefronts we're all just fucking restaurants right and it's like yeah dude i you know i don't need to be a michelin star anymore i just kind of like making the stuff i like making and if people enough people come i can get my horse sit on it and i'm like oh my god i'm done it here's the funny thing if i ever got to that point i would leave leave what's business i would run a life well if i got that much money you wouldn't see me you right i'm only doing i do this podcast which is great because i hang out with one person sure for once a week i hang out with a person that i get to choose which is very fun zone in convo catch up before catch up during literally we're gonna do this after you leave we're gonna eat lunch and i'll probably play a game of college football right on this couch on that tv great life love it and then i do the regs twice a month and then i just tour like a motherfucker there it is and it's awesome but what i don't do is i'm not like begging you know and i'm not i'm not like oh can i get on this can i get because i did that for so long right it's not worth it anymore i i i've hit my limit with that i mean i'm like well what a comfortable place to be no it is i i that's what i recommend to young comics yeah get really fucking good at this so you can get the people that you want to come see you because one of the coolest compliments i ever get in comedy is when a comic i love like sean murphy or anthony moore or brendan sagalow and we go on the road and they get off stage and they go i love your crowds dude that i this is uh this is something i say all the time and i and i say i generally have women open for me and the women would they're like you could tell they're like looking for those types of women to come to their shows right i never thought i would care about i love it the clubs even too people just getting off stage and they go oh clubs i was just in spokane and they were like your crowds are your crowds are fun they're great they're cool and i think i do think this all relates like i think like care about stand-up you end up getting a great crowd there are bumps and there are tough spots listen i had a woman yell at me that joe coy was her cousin and gonna and she was gonna tell joe coy how horrible i was great in jacksonville i was like i'm gonna tell him for you i'm gonna make this into a video and we're gonna send this to him and show him not yet i have it i'm like it is brother call her bluff she was i'll tell you what joe coy sees his cousin at a comedy show yelling that shit if if one of my cousins was on a comedy show yelling the fucking brow beating they would get i i don't know i'd get where i'd go don't ever fucking mention you're related to me the the the riff i had i was like she was like i'm telling joseph and i said about at the comedy zone yeah you've been there uh literally i haven't been there have you been there no 30 people behind a steak and shake like it is it is it looks like just for that steak and you gotta it looks like a roadhouse it's like sunken in it looks like a bar from the 80s i looked at it i was like i love this but like 30 people and she's like i'm telling joseph i go what's he gonna take away from me yeah this that's so funny this is what he's gonna take away and it was all because i did a bit i was saying how i want my body goals are that of an older asian man great because i was like they all look like they fit well on a t-shirt like they seem like they don't work out that hard like so i do this bit she's like what you said about asians i was like that i want their body like i was like oh she weren't listening yeah yeah you totally have gone and it turned into this whole thing and she's like i'm telling joseph prune them prune them you're out you're fucking gone check out jared special on netflix right now please go watch it and then listen to his podcast listen to anything he does jared freed fucking rules thanks for coming by buddy dude this was a blast thank you he's a man he's the best you