Shapiro’s Eyebrows, Chalamet Should Learn from Leo, & Are Jamaicans Irish? | #695

- What's up everybody, welcome to Flagrid. It's a boy, Sheltsy here, Alex Media, Marky, Gags. We got an update from our Patreon brother, Danny, who needed a new heart and a new liver. And he has been, I think, for about a week now, unable to talk, he was able to get a new heart and a new liver, a miracle. - Let's go, Danny. - Let's go, Danny. - Troy, let's go, Danny. - Let's go, Danny. - Troy, everybody, Detroit won again. So we got the first update. These are Danny's first words. Let's hear it from Danny. - It starts hearing when, well, the summary came back. On a string, day by day recovery. I'd really appreciate it for the book or something. But he'll be back. Any questions, let me know. - Let's go, Danny. - Let's go, Danny. - First of all, we are very excited. - What a word. - Danny is back. Second of all, if some of you guys know Danny, Danny speaks with like a, he is like a, T. Grizzly accent. - Yeah, like a Detroit. - Real Detroit. - A real Detroit. - A real detailed accent. - A mouth shit. - And they must have put a Chinese liver in that motherfucker because the Asian accent is back, Danny. You going to your roots, my boy? Did you take that one from the body? (laughing) What, listen to the first song you sound in Asian, right? - Yeah, I'm on play. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We've been going to what he sounded like before when he had the black heart. (laughing) - Give me an old Danny video in the house, 'cause people knew he was like T. Grizzly before now. - He was. - He was. - The yinging twins next to me. (laughing) - See, see, you can't let that house start talking. - You got it, we got it pivoting. - That conversation is something more digestible. - Yeah. - I mean, give her him though, that's awesome. - Shout out to Danny, man. Good for you. We're glad you're-- - Wait, can we play his new voice again? - Oh yeah, play his new voice. - All right, it sounds like something. I can't tell exactly. I don't know enough movies though. - No, book or something, what? - Money, you'll be back. - It'll be back. - This thing is Batman. (laughing) - These sound like transformers a little bit. - One second, we're gonna check the levels again. We got it super cracked on that now. - On the Cape Crusader. - Our audio guy, he just came in. That was being critical of Danny's recording after he has a new heart and a new liver. It hasn't been able to speak for a week. - He has his first words. - Oh, the audio is a little messed up. - Yeah, that's a little messed up. - He's covering the microphone. - Yeah, that's all. - That's all. (laughing) - It's great for you. - Danny, man, good luck. We've razzled cool, and we're gonna be going to be fighting over the next few movies. We appreciate you, and we love you. - Okay. - Good for Danny. - That's Danny's back, man. - That's all. - I had a feeling he would get a heart, man. I had a feeling. - We made it happen. - Yeah, we did make it happen. - I also feel like the crime rate and Detroit also made it happen. Like, you're gonna, if you need a new heart, don't you wanna be in a place where people get shot a lot? - That's a good point. - Yeah. - And that's like a dirty water heart, though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Teeth really want, it's been a lot of them. - They're not getting it from Flint vision. (laughing) - They're getting it from Detroit. - I thought all of that shit. - All right, all right. - What are we trying? - Let's get into the correlation, right, crime rate. And like, if you need new organs. - Yeah. - You don't wanna be in like a health like Boulder, Colorado, or like, you don't wanna be in Tokyo, or the best hearts. - They're the best, but you're not gonna come buy them that often. - Yeah. - It's like a freak snowboarding accident. - Which could happen. - Rarely. - You talk. - But they have enough money to abduct people and then you get a nice clean, fresh heart. - There's a version there, but there's also a version where, you know, some organ donation, non-profit is paying inner city gangs to shoot each other. So they can provide livers and hearts for people that need it. I'm just putting that out there. I don't want Tyler and Olivera to do a research project on it. But Tyler, if you're out there, this is possible. There might be something going on here. - He's doing the law. It's work, bro. - Which law. - Which law. (laughing) - But not the Shem's work. - Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow. - WTF about to lose your money. (laughing) - Oh, you got it. - You wanna be around, we're good. - Say again. - You wanna be around motorcyclists. - That's who donates the most. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - That's nice of them. - Why do you say getting the most accident? - Yeah. - Have you been on your motorcycle since your children? - No. - Your kid. - No, right? - No. - Is that interesting? - Yeah. - You've been in the garage. - And did you think you'll ever bike again? - Probably not. - How does your wife feel about that? - Why do my dreams are destroyed? - No, more than like you'd be fine dying and leaving her alone, but now you're sheltered. (laughing) - That's kind of what it is. - Yeah, basically. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, she lives a lot of her life without me. So she's used to that. She can go back to it, and my kids only ever know me as a deadbeat. You know? (laughing) - It's like, yeah, I can't abandon them now, you know what I mean? - I feel like a deadbeat dad to my son. - I'm ignoring that kid. I just hang out with Shiloh all day. And then he just pops up, he'll burper, throw up, and then I just hold him for a bit. And I'm like, this is way less fun than hanging around with her. - Yeah, but new ones are ignoring you. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - You can ignore them, but they ignore you. He ignored you first. It shouldn't be the case. I should be just pouring into this little boy like I poured into Shiloh. - He don't want you, bro. - Until six months. - Until six months, then you start to come around. - That's what he said. - He's a deadbeat kid in 'til six months. - Mmm. - I love how you're reframing. That's what makes me feel a lot more emotionally, but you should be mad at him. You should be holding the grudge. And then he's gonna come around in six months. You'd be like, oh, now you want me? - Yeah. - Oh, now you're coming around, huh? - No, that's a good way of framing it. I'd feel like a piece of shit that I'm not pouring in when he doesn't want me. - Skin to skin. - Skin to skin, dude. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No, they don't care, right? That's what I'd tell myself. - I guess we could tell ourselves that. I don't know. Did you figure out the Middle East, by the way? - Yeah, yeah, we love it. - Yeah, we figured that shit out. That's easy. The Middle East is fucking easy. - It is. - Yeah. - It seems difficult. - Walking into the studio. Do you end up just yelling at each other? Do you have Middle Eastern politics and stuff? - Yeah, but we got it all figured out, dude. I love playing "Money Morning Quarterback" about what's happening in Middle East. But when I would have done it, I would have secured the "Straight of War" moves. - The way this consumes you is unlike anything I've ever seen. - Why? - You texted me, I said, "Hey, what's up?" He goes, "Just woke up from a nap. "The war's not going well for us." (laughing) - As if you're in charge of the war. - Like, why are you so-- (laughing) - Consumed by the-- (laughing) - Oh, man. It's not going well. - What else is there to be consumed? - Imagine being really upset about anything else. - How do you think I thought you were in Tehran when he texted me? (laughing) - No, this isn't that going well. - I took a beautiful nap on my wife watch both kids. It was amazing. - Four hours, woke up. It's like, that was great. You should have done one of those. - Yeah, she wasn't happy with that kind of. But yeah, I mean, did you not know you guys think about it? - Well, I'm thinking about it, but just the way it's consumed you is unlike anything I've ever seen. - Well, how did you think of it? - What do you want to do? - Well, there's nothing else I can think about. - What else is there now? - I agree, there's nothing else. - What else is going on? Should we talk about traders? - Yes, exactly. - Traders? - You know, I mean, you did bring a war correspondent into the studio today. - I did, who was it? It's a good friend, Joey Avery. - Oh, Joey Avery is here. By the way, guys, we have Joey Avery here. We have Joey. (laughing) - Wow. - You wanted this issue solved. - Yeah, so we definitely got to solve it. We'll get to that at the end of the episode, but we definitely got to solve it. - Joey Avery is here, ladies and gentlemen. Dig round of applause for Joey Avery. - Yes. - Yeah. - Thank you. - The building. - Unnecessary. (laughing) - Unnecessary. - Yeah, he's been too calm in the sense of soundboard. - Who, Miles? - I never know if it's Miles or Joey. - It's me now, I got it working. - Yeah. - It works point, though. It has consumed you because you and I were talking about my special that I just released and the piece of advice that I got from you. You just said, "Damn, drop in during a war." (laughing) - I do what? - I don't have a choice. - It's already scheduled, let's go. - All you do is just shake my confidence and release. (laughing) - Not the top drop. - I would love to see you parenting in the past two weeks. You're like, you're really getting a diaper change. - During a war? - During a war. - During a war. - During a war is crazy. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - You get out of everything right? - Everything, yeah. Yeah, 100%. I haven't seen my mom in like a month. I'm like, "Mom, there's a war going on." (laughing) What do you want to go for lunch and just chat shit? - Well, war is going on in the past. - Iran? - Iran is awesome. - How Iranians pronounce Tehran is hilarious. - Well, they got the age in their heart. They get too hard. - I'm saying Iranian-Americans. - Yeah. - How do you say? - I don't know. - I don't know. (laughing) - I see, you know. - Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how. Come on, stop it. - They sound like you're supporting the eye-tolder. (laughing) - Do you support the eye-tolder? - Newer old. - Yeah. - Which one? - Oh, the new guy. - The new guy. - Oh, the new guy. - Yeah, the new guy. - I don't think he's going to like us very much. - Yeah. - He told his whole family. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's got a creating supervillage over there. - Yeah, right. - That's kind of funny. - Trump's probably out there like, "I think he'll be reasonable." (laughing) - No, but I've been thinking about it, too, dude. - Right, right. - It's been weighing on you as well. - Right. - Yeah, I just like I wake up and I'm like, "This is not great." - Not good. - And then I have any sports. - Yeah. - No. I do feel like people have consumed like listening to certain content about the war kind of fills the sports gap. Because when I hear people talking about like the movement of missiles, I'm like, I do miss football. >> Yeah. >> I mean, down at the time, the strategy. >> Andrew Parley is still hitting the same. >> You know what I mean? >> You got money on it. You're like, this is great. Everything's turning out. >> Yeah. >> Can we figure out how to stop the insider trading on gambling on the war and things like that? >> No. >> I've got to get it. >> We're just supposed to copy these accounts. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> My entire Twitter is just people being like some polymark an account, know something. >> Yeah, yeah. >> I'm just like, that doesn't feel good. >> But I should probably, yeah, throw a little bit. >> Yeah. >> It is kind of funny because the way people use the insider trading war is just the stock market. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Somebody would dump some crazy amount of money into like oil futures and be like, oh, I wonder why? >> Yeah. >> And why you're betting that oil is going to go up. >> And then oil goes up 100% like it did this week. >> Yeah. >> And then this old corruption. >> Yeah, because it's like, it is interesting. Like old corruption, it is like, it's waspy and like we pretend it's not happening. >> Yeah. >> And then just underneath the table, just horrible shit is going on. And then now that we're dealing with it right in front of our eyes, we're like, oh, God, corruption is horrible. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It was more elegant when we could kind of ignore it a little bit. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah. >> Conmin were dignified. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Other conmin? >> The insider traders? >> I guess not really conmin. >> Well, I just like, I appreciate, when we obviously, I don't think Iraq or Iran have been great. I appreciate it that they did a good job of like lying for Iraq, like they tried to tell us there was like a reason and for this one they're like, I don't know. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Who's been thinking about this conflict a lot? >> Who? >> Our sound guy. >> Israel. >> Yo. >> Our sound guy's name is Israel. >> Our sound. >> What? >> What? >> I would have just changed my name. >> What? >> Like Izzy or something? >> Joe is like he's turned off for the rest of the year. >> Yeah. >> And we lost Joe's audio. >> Yeah. >> The fuck is going on over here. >> Oh, it's wrong. >> I'm going to call it early today. >> You guys. >> I don't even know what he said. >> English. English. Izzy. >> It wasn't funny enough to repeat. >> Okay. >> Thanks for interrupting again. >> Okay, guys, can we just, can we not talk about the world or politics for a second? >> Let's try it. >> No politics. >> No politics. >> Just what else is happening, all right? America has some real controversy here. Is America on 26 miles or is it 18? Should Timmy Schalme have opinions on ballet? Like this is what we're dealing with. >> Exactly. >> It's, usually America has news that is, you know, controversial and it gets us going in. We're talking about them. >> They're not even providing that. Right? Like there's no, I don't, do you guys give a fuck what Timmy Schalme thinks about ballet or opera? >> No. >> I don't think anyone does it. >> The culture of war has gone soft. >> It's gone so soft. >> Yeah. >> It's bad. Also, Timmy, you gotta just stop talking. Take it from guys who know. >> Yeah. >> Stop talking. It's, listen, you killed us for the rollout for Marty Supreme was amazing. Your white boy at a month. >> You don't need to add a podcast. >> No, I mean, I mean, like once you become white boy the month or white boy the year whatever it is, it's only down. >> Yeah. >> You can only go down from white boy the month. >> Nobody is just like white boy this entry, that's not how it works. >> I know that was a thing. When did that become a thing? >> Stop it out. >> You don't know. >> You did him, bro. You've never heard of it? >> They do it at the BAFTA Awards. >> It's a big thing. >> Yeah. >> It's whoever yells it out. >> But it is a thing that happens, right? It's like, if I'm any, you gotta just be Leo, dude. Leo is just be perfected and, you know, he's grandfathered in from like old cinema, but like, you just never hear him talking, because when you talk you get in trouble. >> Yeah. >> Like, this is a lukewarm take, but I think that people are just going, okay, you can't be the coolest kid with the hit movie and you're a superstar and you just get to talk all the time and have opinions. >> But how does you promote Mars Supreme? >> It's already promoted. It's done. >> That's why I don't understand why you're still talking. >> I think this was an old clip. And so there's controversy that this is an Oscar's smear campaign because it didn't actually hit, but they think that maybe someone who wants to go against him. >> So this isn't even recent? >> That's what I heard. I would double check that. But yeah, I heard it. Actually, I feel like a lot of people didn't really care. >> Yeah. >> I like that thing. >> And then, yeah. >> It's February 20th. >> Yeah. >> We're going to see what's going on together. >> This is before the war got on. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> The end of the match. >> When was Marty Supreme out? >> Christmas day. >> Oh, so you're talking too long. >> But the Oscars are on. >> You're talking too long. >> No, you're talking too long. >> Now you're talking too long. You got to stop talk. Once the movie comes out. >> No, but now he's trying to get the Oscar. >> Yeah, but you're trying for too much. >> Mm-hm. >> You can't. >> You got white boy at a month. >> Yeah. >> The fuck you need an Oscar for. >> What do you need an Oscar for? >> You're a white boy of the month. >> He's looking very Latino right now. >> Yeah, that's bad. >> Like this is a little bad, buddy. >> No? >> Yeah. >> He looked like the SNL dude. >> Marcelo. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He got a, he biting Marcelo's swag. >> What are they saying? Who's going to win the Oscar? >> Who's this Calcio's for the Oscar? >> Yeah. >> What is this? >> Michael B. Jordan just pulled the head. >> Oh my God. >> He just pulled the head. >> Wow. >> Because of this club. >> Do you know Brad Pitt's opinions on anything? >> You won a long career. >> I know what it's just about. >> Parenting. >> And he did not share that. >> He did not share that. >> I know. >> On a fucking podcast. >> This podcast. >> Yeah, that's true. >> And you want to take his Oscar's off. >> That's it. >> If you won a long career in entertainment, you just don't ever talk on a podcast. >> I'm just saying. Listen, I just said this is the advice that I give these young ruffians. >> If you want a long career in entertainment. >> You don't talk on podcasts. >> So do you think it's worse for Leo if he goes on a podcast than keeps fucking 22 year olds? >> 25. >> 25. >> That's his link. >> Yeah, come on. >> You see the info graph. >> Dude, nobody's really upset at him for that. >> Right. >> It's for fun. >> Like, wouldn't you be more upset if you say, "What you correct to 25?" >> Like that. >> That's different. >> It does make it different. >> He's right to part 25. >> 25. >> He's fucking like 45. First of all, he's 50. >> Exactly. >> If he was fucking fifth-year-old women, I would shoot him in the head myself. This is Leonardo DiCaprio. What did you shake the shit out of him if he was banging age appropriate? >> He's 50 years old. >> He would do like 30. >> What's this right here? >> That's an infographic of Leo's age versus the girls. >> So the limit is 25. >> But he goes and peaks and melts. >> Oh, wow. >> This is a good use of an infographic. >> Can you tell me? >> He's fucking hilarious. >> Okay. >> Okay, so are we really going to blame a guy who's 50 for wanting to bang 25-year-olds? >> Yeah. >> When you jerk off to porn, you look for age appropriate women. >> Cool. >> Why do we got to do this? >> He's just ridiculous. >> He's just no category for it. >> Come on, think about my wife. >> Well, she's sitting there. >> I was thinking about his weekends, though. >> He's thinking about her at 25. [LAUGHTER] >> Old work. >> Old work and my car work. >> Yeah. >> I don't understand this. I mean, that's the thing. We only know, and Nikki Glazer had this fucking great joke. I think it was at the Golden Globes. Did you see that? We're like, she basically like, she makes fun of him for dating 25-year-olds. And then she's like, I'm sorry, Leo, but that's literally the only thing we know about you. And it was actually a great observation. Like, he's handled the career so well that the only things we know about him are he's amazing in acting. He likes girls that are 25, and he cares about the environment. >> I like that you keep giving him 25 when they clearly -- >> Yo, he has a brain. >> Yo. >> What? >> He's so great. >> He's so great. >> He's just keep staying up to his body. >> He doesn't like jango, he doesn't like jango, he doesn't like jango. >> Come on. >> That's not the median. >> To me, it looks like the median. >> I think that's the median. >> It's only 25. >> He's with now. >> Damn, they're 27. >> Damn, ew. >> Damn, ew. >> Damn, ew. >> Jesus Christ. >> I don't even talk about -- >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Or the future 25 rules. >> This is so fucking fun. >> Do you think you'll ever get to the point where he just has like a Gen Z cut? You know, he just starts using all the slang. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. >> You have to keep up at some point, get a little dangling around. >> I'm like baffled. If you're going to marry a girl, yeah, you go aid to probes. >> Yes. >> But. >> But. >> Yeah. >> We're just hanging out on a year. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I'm not knocking. >> You're going to bring the other 45-year-old woman? >> I'm not knocking it. I just wanted a hand. >> You keep going to the top. >> The guy dates 30-year-old woman. What am I going to hate her? >> A dude that's 45 wants to date 30-year-old woman. >> Yeah. >> What's wrong with that even? >> What is wrong with it? >> Shout out to Leo. >> Damn. >> He kept his mouth shut. >> He loves the environment. >> Doesn't -- >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> No, he's actually trying to run on big yachts. >> Yeah. >> That might be the prize for White Boy of the Decade. >> Say again. >> Which is what? >> Bang 30-year-old woman. >> 35 sometimes. >> 35-40-year-old woman. >> Guys, one of these days he's going to have sex with a 30-year-old woman. >> Yeah. >> And he's going to have sex with a 30-year-old woman. we're going to celebrate it. We're going to be like, oh my God, he's new now. >> I don't want to be like, yo, he got Biden brain. What's going to happen? >> All right, guys, here are all our dates and listen, 30 seconds. Nashville, 2021, sold out. Thank you guys so much, Joey Avery's going to be joining us, Providence, Rhode Island, March 28th. Los Angeles with Jelly Roll, May 8th, August 8th in Halifax, Nova Scotia. >> Los Vegas, Nevada, Salt Lake, City, Minneapolis, Calgary, Naples, Danubeach, Dallas, Bernalillo, Cleveland, Rosemont, Chicago, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tempe, Edmonton, St. Pete, Charlotte Detroit, San Diego, and Watch My Special, Joey Avery, Live in San Francisco. >> And we have a monthly show. >> 31st and March. And I'm doing another show on April 3rd in New York City. Check it out at Mark Gagnon Live, Alex. >> And this Monday, March 16th, I have canceled comedy. We have some funny motherfuckers, Ricky Belez, Cam Patterson, Natalie Friedman, a bunch of other funny motherfuckers just head to thecantlecomedyx.com, get your tickets in there. >> That's how I know I'm stressed. I've been watching Outdoor Boys non-stop. That's my like stress reduction activity. Come for a show. >> Oh my God. Just do you watch out for this? >> I don't know what is it. >> It's this guy who's just from Alaska, Mormon guy's amazing. And he's just like builds different types of shelters in the forest. >> That sounds nice. >> That's such a dad thing to watch. >> And he has a family that he leaves every weekend. That's what Andrew's watching. >> He's think he's fantasizing about the idea of just being alone. Just being alone. >> Yeah, let me hang on. Look at my boy. >> Hands made who's never cleaned a coffee maker but might build a shed. >> I'm not going to build. I'm not going to build, but look at that view. That's a love, look at him out on a boat. >> Look at him. >> Cutting wood. >> It's just mail-in. >> It's just ASMR. Yeah. >> Yeah, the food's tough. >> You know potato. >> All right, watch it. >> I mean, do you guys not watch it? Nobody knows. >> I don't watch it. But what is it actually the long-forters that the procedural kind of like? >> It is all of it. And let me tell you where I peak. Like, Mike, what I'm waiting for? I'm just sitting there and I'm like edging towards it. And maybe I'll like Google 10 second forward, 10 second forward. But I'm waiting for him to say, I got some fresh dough. Yeah, yeah, miles. I know. I got some fresh dough. >> Okay, and what else do I have? I got that honey butter. >> Honey butter. >> Because he makes that dough on the back of the shovel. And then he dips it into that honey butter. Oh, my God, there's nothing better. Is that it? That's a nice, he probably made a little like peter or something like that. But when he breaks that big, that fresh dough and he dips that honey butter. >> Walking miles on those rocks with these boots has just been killing my feet. >> The game Jewish, that way. >> Oh, my God, my feet. >> He killed me. Good God. Look at him make that fucking bread on that hot wrap. >> That's fine. >> Yes, it is fine, Ralph. I'm glad you're realizing it. Wait till you see that honey butter. Look at him cut a trout that he caught right out of that lake. You ever go camping, Shultz? Never went in my entire life. You would really enjoy it. Never went once, and I've been dying to go. You would love it. >> I want to go winter camping. >> Oh, right. I forgot about your winter camp. >> Yeah, snow camping. I want to do snow. I want to deal with the elements. >> I mean, you basically just missed it. >> Yeah, but you can't really winter camp here. I want like the real deal, man, life or death. >> But once you start off, try a summer camp. >> It's actually how nice to go in the water. That bread, that bread, you know how you can feel how good it tastes to him when you've been out in the elements, and your feet hurt because of these boots. Yes, and you finally get to beat that bread. >> That's the best bread you've lived. >> And you're just thinking about it. >> Yeah, but to me, there's something about the elements, like it being so cold that it's actually killing you, and then you creating your own fire and feeling that warmth. >> Out of all of us, you tap out first if we go camping. >> You think I'd tap before you? >> Yeah, yeah. >> You have everything brought to you. >> I think he's bringing five Sherbus to you. >> I don't have somebody there with me. >> Oh, yeah. >> You need some help. >> Yeah. >> But when it's hot out, there's no respite from the heat, right? It's like, it's not like you go in the tent and then it's cool. There's no AC. Well, usually you're near a body of water so you can cool off. There's shade from the trees at night. It cools off pretty quick. >> This. >> So it's not hot enough. >> I want control that we started. >> How fun of these guys. I won't go to Burning Man without a luxury RV, but you can handle that. >> I go into Burning Man with a semi-luxury song. >> Burning is about drugs. >> Yeah, this is about it anyway. >> If you were to Burning Man to camp or like be an attendant, you're a fucking idiot. >> You should have everything be as comfortable as possible so you can do those drugs and recover. >> That is true. But you cannot last a day by yourself in the woods. I don't think you can. >> I mean alone? >> Alone. >> You'd be surprised. You'd be surprised. >> You would be surprised. >> He's just going to fast for a day. >> No, I'm going to bring some food. I'll make some bread. >> I'll definitely bring the honey butter and heat it up on that stove that he's got. You've got it all melting, you did bread in. Then yeah, probably fish or hunt or do whatever you do for food. He brings his food, by the way. He's not always like hunting for food. He brings a meal. He brings a nice chicken curry. He gets off. >> It's cold enough that you just keep it in your backpack. It's refrigerated the whole time you're hiking. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, stupid. You don't know how fucking temperature works. >> Do you even like winter sports? Do you ever ski or snowboard or anything? >> I did some snowboarding. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I skied once or twice. >> How did you handle that? >> It's cold this one. >> Yeah, it's cold. >> That's just chilly. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> My favorite part of that is when you go into like the little cabin area and have a hot cocoa. >> That is the best part. >> So I think that's what it's really about. >> Mm-hm. >> That I'm pretty ski. It's kind of what it's called. >> I'm pretty ski. >> Yeah. >> Can we get some alcohol? Let's have a nice little vacation. >> Oh, I'm pretty ski. >> What do you mean it's too early? >> We had another episode. >> No, no, the way I calculate this is I have date night tonight that I'll probably drink at. >> Mm-hm. >> So I'm going to already kind of go. >> It's one drink, basically. >> One drink? >> If it's in the whole day. >> Everyone knows the rules. >> We're going out with another couple tonight, not swingers. >> And we hope, I know, right? >> I want you lubed up for that, just kidding. >> I like getting a little sauce and then going on like a first date with another couple. >> The best. >> My wife and I will take shots in our apartment so that you come in high. >> We're going out. My wife doesn't know that we're drinking. So I come in high and then sit down and then Iran immediately. >> Yes, yeah, immediately. >> And we're talking about Iran. And I cannot wait. And I cannot wait. And my wife is like, you cannot leave me alone in the conversation. You have to include me in everything. And I'd be like, okay, well you better read up about the fucking Shah. Okay, because we're going to talk a lot about this. And what happened in 1978? >> You've got to go back. There's a lot of history there. People don't know. People don't know about the most hard day. >> They don't. You know a lot of people don't know. Do you know that women got the right to vote in when? >> You were on or here? >> No, in America. >> 1929. >> No. >> No, it was later. >> No, earlier. >> No, 19, earlier. >> 19 or something? >> 19? 20. >> 20? >> Okay. We've been at war ever since. It's a decent point. >> Let's just hear him out. This is something interesting. >> We've been at world war ever since. They like to blame us, but there's not a lot of reflection. >> There's no -- when they couldn't -- and I have a daughter, I want her to be able to vote. >> Okay, good. >> Okay, that's good. >> I don't want that to happen. >> We said don't get political. >> I'm not political. >> I'm not political at all. >> I'm just going off the numbers. I was shocked. I thought women got the right to vote in the 1800s sometimes. >> Okay. >> 1920? What was the world war one? >> We had the wrong 20s, so we had like a good like 10 years of fun, right? >> When they first started voting. >> Yeah. >> 100%. They had that like hippie liberation movement. They're like, "I can vote. I can throw this pussy around." >> Absolutely. >> And it was crazy. >> Yeah. >> Flapping. They were flapping. >> Flapping, yeah. >> Exactly. Then just wars nonstop. The never ending wars. What type of responsibility do we put on them for that? Because before that, we only had one war to free you guys. And then that's it, right? Like was there -- were there any more wars, Evan? Can you name another one? >> Revolution. >> Revolution. Yeah. That doesn't count because we weren't us yet. >> It's actually not war. It's a revolution. >> It's a revolution. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's a good point. So then women can vote. World War II kind of comes around. >> World War I. >> But World War I's like what, 1914? >> No. >> It's kind of -- >> No, no, no. >> No, it's after. >> You're breaking it. >> You're breaking it, right? >> Give us a check. >> I was getting to look wonderful. >> Don't fall for the fucking propaganda, Mark. Don't fall for the propaganda. They want you to believe the war started before they could vote. It wasn't even a really official war until 1929. >> The boys were just digging. They were just digging for it. >> They were just digging for it. >> The shuttle that were making the honey water. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Exactly. Thank you. >> [LAUGHTER] >> How happy were they when they were just doing the digging part? That must have been so important. >> It was the life. You're out there at the boys and in the earth and then women vote. >> And all of a sudden. >> We're at war. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Thank you so much, Joseph. >> Thank you. >> Everything you guys just said is off camera because we're three people in front of them all. - That's okay. we're locking back. Let's just see if we can create a through line for this argument. No, I'm somebody get on a computer. I'm on a computer. When did World War One start? 1940. Okay, but America didn't get involved until until when? 1917 I think, but it's March. It got up. Go. American entry into World War One 1917. Okay. One was it like bad. When did it? How do you know? When did it really start? But when did it get bad for America? That's really a question. And November 11th, 1918. Women also, when you Google what year? Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Damn show. So technically they didn't even vote us out of the war. And they did that. And we're like, there's no more wars. We gave them the right to vote. We're back in fucking war. It almost immediately afterwards. Yeah. And we haven't stopped being hit war since. I wonder if all the people coming home from World War One came home and their wives were like, let us vote. And they were like, oh, another war. We let them play. Guys, hey, we let them play baseball, Mark. You give them an inch. No, no, we let them play baseball. We were gone. We're like, we need to watch some of play baseball. They got out there, right? Yeah. Using dildos at first. That's a thing a lot of people don't know real. They were using vibrators and dildos because all the bats had to go to war. Historically, can we do that? We're made of wood. So let's get a picture. You haven't seen those dildos from Cairo 4,000 years ago. It's a wooden bat. It's not a wooden bat. It's a dildo, shaped to Egyptian vaginas. And it was made out of the elements that they had at the time. It was a shovel. Look at that shovel. Look at that. That's what they were playing baseball with. Okay. That's a Louisville slugger right there. Yeah, Lee. Oh my god. Which side is that? Is that what your shit look like? Owls get skinny at the bottom. Is that literally how this shit looks? No, it's not that crazy. That's that is a little bit concerning, bro. That is it. That looks like your shit, bro. How do you know? Same color. How do you know? I'm doing some interesting. Hell, your dick looks like Alyssa Lou's hair. Sorry. No, I can't talk about Alyssa Lou. She's a champion. She's a champion. She's the goat. Shout out to the bay. Oh yeah, the area. She wrapped the bay. Have you wrapped the bay? I love that. I love saying that. We needed to counterbalance Eileen Goose traitorous and we did it. Do you think that she's a traitor? Yes. A hundred percent, right? Yeah. Oh, she, she, she loved the like she was just a different stuff. She got that money. She got that bag. That's the most American thing she did. True. She is a cat. She's a sellout, but everyone's a sellout. If that's the most American thing to do, Mark, if you don't get your fucking rest, I know. I swear it, I know. Pick a side. Pick a side. If I'm me, then it's she's a sellout. If I'm hurt, then I'm going to China. Yeah. But that's a major sellout. Exactly. I understand why she made the decision, but I'm allowed to say, okay, well, then I don't have to support you. Yeah. You're for the ops. Yes. I'm not. I'm personally upset at her, but I'm just like, Alyssa Lewis, who I'm with. If there was a comedy Olympics, would you, which country would you, would you, would you, would you do for Saudi Arabia? Would you represent Saudi Arabia, the fucking comedy Olympics, Mark? I would. Yeah. Yeah. Mark doesn't have three choices here. Yeah. Born France, French Canadian parents, America. I represent Canada. Do you have an American citizenship? Yes. I do. Not a show. Not a show. What I moved here, I was just a, I was just an old phone and my parents applied for it. And I got it. They gave it to me. I was on a O1 visa. I don't know. For I can't be a president. I can see him shabbling. He don't got two forms of ID. Yeah. Who wants Vino? Do you want one? I'm trying with Joey as a dangerous game hero. Guys, we're just having a little Vino. We're just talking about traders, okay? You should cut drink for drink with Joey, shall you? Okay. Well, once you start with me, it can be a problem. I'm not going to argue about Sunday's. Oh, no, is it that bad? Well, we were celebrating the special. And then I think probably like nine or ten Guinnesses just sort of happened. Oh, I wish we had Guinness again. Maybe we have somebody run out and get us some Guinness. I love Guinness. I love Guinness. Yeah, it's some Jesus. Oh, my God. I love a Guinness. Did you know that? That's splitting Jesus, but I love it. Do I know what's splitting Jesus? Yes. What is it? So we're on the first poor if the foam splits the G. You win it. Nope. No, it's a good drink. Sorry, I'm the first drink on the first drink. On the first drink, okay. Yes. Yeah, I think you can give it to him. It's a brilliant like accidental marketing play by Guinness, because it has Guinness on the mind. People are drinking it and they're drinking it faster. Yeah. So when you start splitting G, you're just chugging half of it to start. And then you end up drinking tan and then Miles hung over on Monday. Miles, you couldn't hang down. Well, dude, we were doing beers and then they just kept going, "You want a Ferrari shot?" And I was like, "Sure." And then those were coming out heavy. For net and compari. We've been into that. I like the compari. I don't know how the for net works in there. It works. Really? Yeah. Offs are up. Yeah, I mean, it depends on what you're into. Look, both things taste like shit, but you put them together and still can kind of taste like shit. You like the drink? Yeah, like the drink. The drink is a good thing. Yeah, you got to be able to drink. It's a good reason. You can't, you know. What's within reason? Well, you can, it's, I remember like during COVID, I was really into drinking. I was doing it just more nights a week than I should. Which is how many nights? It was probably doing it about. Yeah, when COVID first hit, it was like a team sleepover. And I was just drinking like seven nights a week on Zoom with my friends. And then I was like, "Why am I fat and angry?" And it was the alcohol. So you got to like, a couple nights a week, but I do it every week. You only get to do it every week. (laughing) I never miss a week of drinking. Can you get the dildos off the screen because I can't possibly. Everyone is built with a curve and I'm starting to feel insecure about my straight dick. I bet you curve. No, I don't. Oh, do you miss curve? No. You wouldn't even know. Your shit is all fucking cold. It's under wraps, yeah. Do you curve? No. I'm real. Dicks are who I ran. To cover it up. (laughing) Thanks much. (laughing) I also love you. We should have given you more. All right, guys. Let's take a break for a second. You're sleep sucks. When you're sleep sucks, everything sucks. Okay, you're moved, you're focused, you're workouts, you're patients, all of it. And we love to pretend it's normal. Ah, I just don't need that much sleep. Yes, you do. Ah, catch up this week. I know you won't. That's not a flex. This is a liability. You cannot outwork bad sleep. You cannot caffeine your way through real recovery if your body isn't repairing it. Night you are running on fumes and disguising it as an ambition. Sleep is not just hours. It's hormones, it's stress, it's inflammation. It's what's actually happening under the surface. Guessing isn't gonna cut it. And that's why I use function 160 plus biomarkers. You can see what poor sleep is doing to your body and fix the real problem in between us. Boys, there's a little friendly challenge in the works. A bioh competition. Dove already did his. He's talking big. Mark, Alex, they're circling. We're eating for their turn. Are we gonna let Alex do it? Probably not. They age a little better. Okay. At least on the outside. So right now you've got a function health.com/flagrant. Get function for less than a dollar a day using our code Flagrant Check your health. You are welcome. Also, what is the over and under on Dove's age? What is the over or under on Dove's age? Boys love. High five. I think he's. I think he's significantly over. You take the over on 45? No, no, no, no. If he's 42 years old, I'm with you on 45. Oh, God. Yeah. I don't think he's coming under 42. No, not after the conversation you guys just had. No, I got him stressing. Yeah, yeah. Second, he comes in the office. I get him stressing. You're adding years. 100%. He's unbuttoning that cardigan. Tits flopping in that fucking white teeth. Anyway. Guys. Anyway, guys, it's a new here, new teams. But have you ever stopped to think about what your shower water is doing to your skin and hair? Most people, most people spend thousands every year on skin care, hair care, trying to fix dryness, breakouts, dull hair without realizing the real problem starts before the products even go on. It's the quality of your shower water and that's where jolly comes and jolly. It's a beauty wellness company with a clinically proven filter, shower head designed to remove chlorine and heavy metals that can damage your skin and hair. They will destroy it and you don't even realize that it installs in minutes. It's all showers, looks fantastic, delivers amazing pressure and now starts at just 98 dollars, a small upgrade that can make a big difference in how you're skin and hair feel all year long, head to joleyskinco.com, that is JOLISKINCO.com/flagrant to get yours. That is joleyskinco.com/flagrant, and if you or your loved one doesn't love it. You can return it for a full refund within 60 days, no questions asked, also available on Amazon. Start the year with better water. Get joley for $98 today. Now let's get back to the show. Before we get back to the show, there is one more company out that I want to shut out. This is on the house, okay? My boy is over in Neuro, taken over the world, this right here, and I'm not right now by the way. This is on the house. Absolutely unbelievable. I mean, where's my cam? That one or this one? This shit is crazy. Okay. I don't think I've slept in the last leg year and it's building up. I think that's the newborn. It's the newborn, but this right here is allowing me to get through it, so thank you for helping me be a better dad. I saw Katie Perry posting about this the other day. I hit them up. I was like, yo, you got Katie Perry. She's like, no, they're like, no, she was just doing it for the strength. Oh, really? Yeah. Didn't they also make you prone paddle? They also made a professional in paddle, but that's why I feel that I need to be back. If Katie's giving them free promos, like we also got to be running it up for us. She's an astronaut. She's been to space. That's right. She's using this real astronauts are using this right here. What do you do with your day? That's so valuable to you that you wouldn't want to, hmm, feel like she's more of a tit's astronaut. He's on the arrow. Do you have a hero in? I just finished. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happens when you're a hero. He's coming online. I didn't even put that together. Yeah. He respects to Orlando Orlando Bloom, great guy, great guy. Yeah. But she's with the Prime Minister of Canada. Yeah, but that's his old work. They got kids. Yeah. Orlando's a good guy. Oh, come on. You got to respect. You wouldn't know, but you got to respect old work, bro. You really know. We've always put respect on old work. Thanks. Yeah. So lock in right here. This is Katie Perry knows us up. What's the guy from Canada's name again? Justin Trudeau. Justin Trudeau. Yep. Mm-hmm. He's probably against him. Second hand. That probably is. Oh. From what? From Katie. This shit doesn't go through to your readroom. (laughter) With all due respect. With all due respect. That's not how it works, bro. If that's what you were implying. No. Which is fucking disgusting. Talk about somebody's. They're kids like that. So why do you get picture of Justin Trudeau and Katie Perry? If they're making out. We're not doing that. You might get a second hand. This is neuro gum. We shot out neuro to boys. Keep crushing it. Okay. We're glad you got back from Dubai. We saw you out there. I was nervous. I have to text them. Make sure that they got back. So this is phenomenal. We love y'all. And keep crushing it. And thank you for allowing me to be a good parent. Can we go back to the show final? Please. Thank you. Finally. Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting. It's even theirs. Meet new, grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new, grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. Mark said his dick didn't curve in a way that makes me think his dick curves. Mark said his dick curves like Ben Shapiro's eyebrows. Is this real or AI? No, it's got to be AI. No, that's real. Come on. Come on. I'm going to pull it up. There's no way. I just saw one tweet about it that my mom was talking about it non-stop. Well, what does she say that the truth of it is? She says that that's going to be his, his curls. That's the word they're going to grow from. The pants. Yeah. That's not true. This is not real. This is not real. It's a really funny piece of internet work though. I mean, if he's leaning in, it's hilarious. Like if I was him, I would, I would bush the fuck out of them. Yeah, he should just do his show with them on. But I think I saw someone compare the two videos and it's not real. What I like is that it's, it's the right thing to do though with his face. You do. Meaning, well, it's just the funniest possible thing and it's just believable enough that we can have a dialogue and it's like, his eyebrows are getting crazy. Yes. Like I believe it. I was like, yeah, that's really switch Doug. Does this count as political conversation? Oh, who's going to look for the blue? Miles, any time we talk about politics, I want, this is hilarious. Not as insane. I've always, anytime we talk about politics, I want you to put a charity that we support on the screen. A huge banner. Okay. So if we do get clipped throughout the internet, it at least goes to a good cause. I guess. Okay. So you can do the food beg of New York. We can do baby quests, which is the IVF charity that I support. So there's a couple of those and it's just a huge banner right across it. Black Lives Matter. Doesn't this in sense? We're not doing black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter. That's me. It's me, it's me, it's some house. Right. That's it. That is true. That is true. Come on. Yeah. Is that even still going? No. The day you stopped it. They killed it. 100%. It's still going, but no one really supports it. It's unfortunate. Still my Wi-Fi password though. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. I love it. He just told people to stare at him. Say it out loud when you type it. It's kind of funny that if somebody is going to steal your Wi-Fi, they have to type in Black Lives Matter. Yeah. It's funny. You have to decide if your race is going to work. You want a Wi-Fi? Yeah. It's a Wi-Fi every single time. All right. Yeah. This is insane. You want the charity because you're afraid of getting clipped up. You don't want to get clipped, everything you say. No, no. I want the clipping to promote something. There's nothing we can do to stop us from getting clipped, no matter what we say. So if you are going to clip us and do videos about it, at least we can both together support some really great causes. I like them. Yeah. I love that. Because I don't care about supporting the causes of the shows clipping us. Because I don't know what their causes are. Maybe I do care. Maybe I don't. But if we are going to be mined for views, then we should at least support some good causes. I like that. Doesn't that good? Everybody wins. Yeah. And then if you stop clipping us, it means you don't support children being born through IVF. Or you don't support people struggling to eat in New York. Yeah. So if anything, maybe you would inspire more people to talk about us. But if it goes down, what are you prioritizing? Yeah, exactly. I love this. What is going on here? There are people who should do this. You've been plotting, dude. I'm not plotting. I'm not plotting. I mean, you are the most clipped on the internet. You should just have a banner running for your favorite charity during it. Right? Yeah. It's kind of genius. It's a good idea. So which charity should we do? I mean, Tucker is a great charity. Get a banner ready. Yeah. This isn't IVF. I think it's IDF. No, no, you would never support it. It would never support it. Okay. All right. What else is going on in the world, guys? I mean, do you want to go through some red hypotheticals? Oh, okay. I guess that's a good idea. It was your answer, right? That was passed out of panic attack right there. Yeah, yeah. Sure. It's like you didn't say you were on. Yeah. I mean, considering that you went to college. I did. What was your degree in college? Um, I don't know. Psychology. Psychology. Yeah. My shirt. Psychology. Psychology. Yeah. Psychology. Psychology. Yeah. Psychologizing people. Sure. Situations, theories, getting to the bottom of stuff. Let's see. Maybe. I might be a little, uh, what's it called? Rusty. Okay. Let me pull it. Um, here. Click on the, am I the asshole, the bottom one? And, uh, I'm just curious your take. If you're gonna adjudicate this as a psychologist and really try to break down what's going on. Okay. So this one is basically saying, am I an asshole for telling my neighbor? It's not my problem that her newborn wakes up to noises coming from my apartment. This is a great question. So, in short, all right. This is a person. Can we give credit to the person that-- Yeah, this is-- Ask this question. Blacks1NYC. One of one of our neighbors probably here in the city. This person says, I just moved into a one bedroom apartment. It's been vacant for a while. The unit's great. I really like it. I have a two-year-old golden doodle who will occasionally bark when he hears something outside the door or in the hallway. And I work from home, and I'm almost always there. So I correct the behavior. And it's usually just a couple of alert barks. Tonight at 7 p.m., I'm having dinner with my sisters. When my neighbor knocks on the door, she tells me that my dog's constant barking has been disturbing her newborn sleep. And that this has apparently been going on for weeks. She also said that she has two dogs and she educated them not to bark. So I should be able to do the same with my dog. The thing is, my dog wasn't even barking that much when she knocked on the door. And I honestly don't believe that he's barking constantly since I work from home. I would notice if he was. I can hear her baby crying through the walls quite often. And I've never complained about it just because it's a part of apartment living. Baby's crying. Dog's bark. Am I the asshole? Honestly, it was too long. The question was too long. It was a little long. And I need a cup for that. I need a cup. And I need a cup. I need a high glass. I cannot drink it. Again, it's out of a can. I need a cup. But thank you. So can you just consolidate that first of all? Great question. And you can last fucking camping right now. I can't even drink the same. I don't like it. I need it. He's right about the can. I am right about the can. Drink it. Where did you go? Where did you go? Because it was started. You said there's a great question that I started to read it. And then you went somewhere else. You started acting out his question. Yeah. You weren't doing it too much. I was trying. I went elsewhere as well. You said what? There was a lot going on. You started like pantomiming how he was in the situation. You're like, "Oh, he's having a go to do the work." I was listening to what you were saying. I was like, "Why are you being so gay?" I was adding some spice for the audience at home. Yeah, that way they felt like, "Wow, this is like a cheap novella." Can you just consolidate for me? This girl has a dog. Yeah, dog bars. And the neighbor was a bitch about it. The neighbor was like, "I taught my dogs not to bark. Why don't you do this with your dog?" And the dogs were like, "Get on my baby." They don't, in my experience, you can't teach a dog not to bark. Okay, well, that's the wrong starting point. It's like having a dog is accepting barking. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Having a child is accepting crying. There's nothing you can do to teach a dog how to not bark. And I've tried most things legal and illegal. Okay, no. And you have a golden doodle. Yeah. And you're golden doodle barks. Yeah. You wake the baby up, remember the evidence? We'd come back from the bar and she'll also go, "We all have to enter different doors." Yeah, you got to confuse it. You have to confuse it. Seriously? Dude, this dog, it barks preemptively. Like, if here's the elevator, and it starts barking, it's supposed to do. Yeah, but you could train it not to. It's a dog. Yeah, that's what they fucking effort. Yeah, dog's bark. You can train dogs on the bark. No, you can't. No, no, no, no. You can't both train a dog not to bark. She doesn't have to, this girl's a liar. Like, there's nobody has two dogs that both don't know how to bark. It's just not like humanly possible. Like, that's like training a wife not to talk. I've been truncated. It doesn't work. How you're a misogynist. Yeah. And if we were able to do that in 1920, we wouldn't be a bore for a lot of that. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, we'll be a bore for a hundred fucking years of living. We'll be a bore for 100 fucking years of living. A misogynist? Yeah. A fucking misogynist, dude. Me. No, you're a misogynist. Okay. But with this, I mean, do you think barking, like if the dog is barking, is it the owner's fault and should she do some to stop it? Mark. Once you live in a building that allows dogs, it's like living in a building with like Caribbean people. There's going to be noises when you don't want it. It's just what we accept. It's like, if you can't be like the white person that moves to fucking, you know, 116th and like goes, oh, wow, there's, there's a bachata music playing in my building. It's like, you chose to do that. That was your choice to move into the neighborhood where the music is playing late. You don't get to complain. See, but then he moved it, and well, some people moved into Williamsburg and kicked out all the Puerto Rican. Maybe you can't. But you need a critical mass. Yeah. Yeah. You can't partially gentrify. You got to do something. Did you? Did you? Mm-hmm. We're talking politics. I was going to scream. Sounds like we're being political again. Get it on the screen. Not what I meant. Okay. We know what you're doing. Okay. You're sliding those liberal San Francisco politics into this podcast. Okay. Now, do you know for a fact that you moved a Puerto Rican family out of the home that you live in right now? No. I don't think we did. I don't know who lived there before. I actually know. I do know. Because we collect their mail and we give it to them. And? Once a week. Just regular white girl. Regular white girl. Yeah. Okay. So I thought, I don't think you're responsible for it. I don't think you moved them out. I just think if your building allows dogs, there's going to be noise. I had a neighbor that was an influencer, and she would throw parties really late while we had a newborn. That seems inappropriate. Very inappropriate. I would call down. To the front. I'll call down to the front. I was like, I think there's a. I think there's a girl screaming. No. Can you please go check on this? Okay. And then we call the police. Is that again? When you call the police? No, it wasn't actually. But I needed to. I need to be severe enough when they start with the front. You start with the front. Exactly. And I would do anything in my power to stop the party from happening. And it never worked. That's just what it was. We had a newborn baby. Go there with the crying baby to like, you know, impose some guilt. Cocaine just, there's no guilt that gets through cocaine. Yeah. Sure. Cocaine for that reason. But my point is that like there's nothing you can do about these things. It sucks. I empathize. But it's a dog. A dog is going to bark. Yeah. Wait, but was that girl an asshole? She was sweet, but she was very inconsiderate. It's so bad. Okay. This person is an asshole. But the dog is different. You can't control the dog. You can control not having a party until 4 a.m. and blasting music with your friends all coked up. Cocaine. It's hard. It's hard to control the bad. It's hard to control the bad dog. Have I in my lustrous career being a fun guy? Yes, I have. Will I ever do it again in my life? A bit. But I would not say that I do cocaine. But that's a yes. That's a yes. That's a yes. That's a yes. That's a yes. No, because there's people who are like into it. I actually, I think it's a very upgraded drug. You just said I have and I will. I've just done it because I've been trying to party for more hours. How? Yeah, that's true. I know what you're doing. No, true. You're like, I was trying to keep her a baby. I knew you were. I knew you were. I was trying to keep her a baby. I knew you were. I knew you were trying to keep her a baby. - You went down a girl for three hours. - Yeah, that's a lot of personal. - No, I was wired, that's a buffet. - I was wired. - Just waiting for it to get them, like, you're not supposed to look at it. - You're not supposed to look at it, you eat it five minutes. - No, that's insane. I'm like, did you enjoy that high off the X's, yeah? - Yeah, 'cause it's like, you're just in this blissful state. It's like, oh, I'll do this forever. (laughing) - You just weren't lost in the past, you know? - I swear to God. - No, that's kind of beautiful. - I want to talk to my she puts, yeah, be on it coming up. Like, what do we think about that? - Yeah, think about it more. - But you're fair with what it creates to you. - Yeah, I'm a Ryan, this incredible. - If you did both, it'd probably feel amazing. If you're just like, oh my God, we-- (laughing) - It's just hum and knows on the clip, dude. Al and Molly hangovers the funniest thing. - Why? - You know, like a fool in Mexico. - Oh, now it's kind of like-- - We were supposed to like, top that thing. We were listening to, like, dance with my father. Like, this is who we were in the hotel pool. - And we were all so down. - Yeah. - It was dark. - I felt kind of normal. - You're younger. - Yeah, I think there's a big difference. - I can't do what I used to. - It was like the first time I ever did Molly, too. So, like, I feel kind of fine. - Yeah. - And I was just like, oh, that was fun. I'm looking for an alley. He's got a towel over his head. He's just leaning over the pool. - Just crying. (laughing) - And I was like, oh, my god, it was like, oh, my god. - It was, oh, my god, it was, I gotta get it out. - It was like, fourth quarter code. We just like, cow over the night, so. (laughing) - What I'm telling you, the night before, oh, my god. - Remember that club that had like the things projected on the wall, and you could like, see, you could see the, they're not like, I don't even know what you would call them. Like, the smoke machine allowed you to see the light. - The laser. - The laser was projected. One of our friends was having a panic attack. Ben Uyeda was the coolest columnist dude on the planet. Was like, sitting next to him, just trying to like, regulate him. 'Cause it was adorable. Mark was feeling like emotions for the first time in his autistic life. - Yeah, exactly. - And then, and I was being super gushy, but still hedging. Like, I was going, other people was like, hey, do I know it's just the Molly? - But I do love you. (laughing) - We're just like the gang, so I can take a drug. I'd be like, hey, I know it's just the drug. - That is funny. And then I relate to that so much. Like, I know I'm being extra in hell, but like, I do, like you're sick. - But that's the shit you regret the next day, you wake up and you're like, holy shit, I was like, really nice, and vulnerable, and honest to someone. (laughing) 'Cause that was my problem. - No, I love that. - I don't even know. - That's what I was trying to do. - Yeah, what were you so sad about? - I don't even remember. It was such a good night to wear, just like, fuck, man. And then remember, we tried to like, sweat it out. We were in the pool for a while, and then we moved to the sauna. - Yeah. - And we're like, yeah, maybe we can sweat out our sadness. (laughing) - It's for the shot. - I know. - No. - Oh, that was dark, dude. - It's tough in there. - Yeah. - That was fucking dark. - The sauna gets dark. Dude, I was passed out a sauna one time. There was like, no. - I was at, there was like, a rock climbing gym near us, and it has a communal sauna that's like six people, and it always gets packed with like 14 to 15 people. And there's like a ton of lore in that sauna. Like apparently someone ate a burrito, and it accidentally fell onto the rocks. Another guy had like a protein shake and thought it was water, so he tried to pour it on the rocks. There's a protein shake and smoked everywhere. So it was just a legendary little spot. And I was in there on like a three day fast. And I hadn't eaten anything up in the sauna. It's like eight people. And everyone's like, very chatty, we're talking. And then I just started to black out. And I was just in the sauna, fighting for my life. - I thought I had to black out. And everyone's like, "Mark, you good?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, I was gonna pop out." And then like I walk out and my legs aren't working. And my knees are shaking. And I just lay down in the middle of the gym. (laughing) Just like a crucifix down, just looking up at the sky like, I texted my wife and I was like, "I love you." (laughing) That's where to go. I thought it was, I thought that was it. I was like, "Who else did that?" I'm on the phone. I was like, "I love you." She was like, "Love you too, what time are you home?" And I was like, "Can you respond right now?" It's too much. - Was it like a spiritual experience you were having? - Yeah. - You just think you were gonna die. - No, it was near death, that's everything flush. - I saw the whole thing. - Ask Mark about his latest X of C experience. - What about your latest X of C experience? (laughing) - What if she told him to talk about it? - I was just trying to keep you alive. - I appreciate that lap. - He didn't talk for like four hours straight. He just sat there just pondering life. You were in a bad place, dude. - No, okay. - You were in a bad fucking place. I was not even exaggerating. - You were exaggerating. - You kept asking questions like what is happening to me? - Your hands were shaking. - I was like, "No, this is true. "Why are you making sure that I'm not even doing the thing "where I exaggerate?" - You get red, so he's on stuff, yeah? - No, he's red. (laughing) - He's like, "Yo, you're talking about to shit." (laughing) - You kept circling things and like, "What is this common side effects of this drug?" You kept like asking us like, "Are you also feeling this?" - I did. - I don't even know. - Do you know, remember this? - I know. I can't always remember. I don't know. (laughing) - But afterwards I was bad. - This is where you were on stage and then you come off stage and go, "I just watched myself do that from a third person view." - Oh yeah, yeah. - Afterwards when it was bad. So I think I got what they call HPPD. Or DPD, something. It's basically like de-realization. And we're like, all of a sudden, you feel like you're watching yourself. And like, you feel like you're not really in your body. I got all the types of ones. - This is not ecstasy. What the fuck did you guys have? - I've never had that. - Yeah, like what the fuck did you guys have? - I got that once in college. - I had eye wash. - I had eye wash. - Now weed, I got it from brownies. We made brownies. And I was high for like 48 hours or 72 hours. And I was like a few seconds behind my body. So like everything would happen. And then I would kind of realize it happened. - Yeah. - And I remember, this has been going on for like a few hours. I'd watch the guys play FIFA and then they'd score a goal. And like I kind of hear them celebrate. And then I'd see the goal score. It was very weird. But I remember like, I was like, man, I gotta throw up. And then I went, oh shit, I'm probably already throwing up. And it was everywhere. (laughing) Everywhere. Like I got up out of the room and then just projectiled all down the hallway into the bathroom. - And it was because I was a few seconds back. - And did you clean it up? - I don't even know what happened with that. I think we moved or something. - It was crazy. It was like spaghetti. No, it was ramen noodles everywhere. And I haven't had ramen since. - And really? - Yeah, like I had a bad memory with it. - It was like trauma. - Weed Edibles are one of the most underrated drugs in terms of how fucked up you can get. Like you're psychologically out to lunch. - And when it goes great, it's awesome. But I think we've all spent a lot of time in like high school and college, just freaking out. - Yeah. - Like your story about watching people play FIFA, I've definitely been watching people play video games like trying to pretend I'm having fun. Having an existential crisis and just laughing at random times, trying to stay involved. - Why don't I laugh right there? Why don't I do that? - Exactly, I'm having a problem. - It's too introspective. - Yeah. - Like I wanna get out. - Yeah. - I spent enough time in here. - But when we grew up at the time, they're trying to figure the Edibles out. Now they have it figured out. Like now it's like, oh, what dose do you want? How much do you want? - Oh really? - Yeah, you can get blue. - Yeah, when you use your old dosage, it's great. We used to be sitting in random brownies. - Yeah, this is what all of our parents are taking, by the way. - Everyone's parents are doing Edibles. - Oh really? - And the pretending that they're not all drugs. - All the time, but everyone's parents are doing it. - Yep, when you say everyone's, are you implying that your parents are doing Edibles? - My parents, your parents, your parents, probably. - No, no, no, no, no. - My mom, they, they're just gonna be like, "Oh, I'm just gonna take a gummy so I can go to sleep." - That's what they say. - But they're doing pot. - There we go. - My mom's just drinking 40s. (laughing) - She's not on the Edibles at all. My parents, she's consistent. - No, she's over it on a 40s. - My parents refrigerator looks like a heroin addict. It's like, there's some random bread that's supposed to not have carbs in it. And then-- - But Akito bread is Akito bread. - Yeah, it's Akito bread. - Akito bread. - Akito bread. - Yeah, it's good. - It's good stuff. - It's like all this stuff for my dad's diabetes, and then just like a bottle of stoley. And I'm like, "Oh, I wonder who that is for." (laughing) Well, who's taking that to the face at night? - She's just drinking old English. What does she drink? - She's the drink of 40s, yeah. - Hold English, yeah. - He is a helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. (laughing) - Helper sleep. - Helper sleep. - It does knock you out. - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, we come back like two when I like live with my parents and then my mom would be just up, just drinking a fucking 40, a course of light or old English. (laughing) - That would be startling. - Yeah. - That's startling for me. Imagine the girl that walked in and found out. (laughing) I live with my parents and that they drink 40's. - Two and 20. (laughing) - I didn't go turn around at the door, I was like, do you want to play dolls? - Yeah, you do. - Turn around at the door. I was like, oh, hey, mom. And then the girl was like, who's that? I was like, oh, that's my mom. And my mom turns around with a 40, like, oh, hey. (laughing) - What do you think she told her friends the next day? - She was like, I banged a dude who lives with a pirate. - No, she didn't turn around at the door. - She went by the door. - I can be alerted. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I couldn't believe it. (laughing) - That's great. - That's awesome. - Do you sidebar with your mom? Or are you like, all right, well, it's not like I could say. - I was hearing the hose. (laughing) - Yeah, it was just a thing where my mom wouldn't, like, have like a cell phone or anything. So it would just be like, if we go back late enough, maybe she'll be asleep. - Oh, wow, just for some time. - Sometimes, yeah. (laughing) - Oh, bro. She was up, man, drinking forties, watching old balance, she and ballets. Oh, really? Yeah. She's literally watching ballets. She was watching, like, she's like, the shallow man. Yeah. Yeah. Hit the ball, sure. Furious. But then you didn't get upset. It was it. It's just ballet and opera people don't go to anymore. That's what he was saying. Yeah. Come on. They don't go. Okay. So we don't need that. We don't need that. I don't need that. It comes from a dance family. You have to understand. I come from a dance family. You know our fans love ballet. Yeah. We don't need that heat. We don't need that heat, right? Five milligrams, maybe two and a half, I'm a bitch with Edibles, yeah, I don't know, my mom, my mom tried to do weed with my brother, like instead of telling him to not do it, she's like, so old just gonna try to do it. I know. She tried to smoke with my brother, it's like, all right, but he's gonna do whatever, I'm just gonna brace it so I can like do it with him, right? And he went to a lot of rehabs after that. So I don't know if it's the best thing to enable. Maybe not for him, maybe not. Alcohol's the best thing for the Scots, they, they hold it in and then they just need that release and then this thing. You would think they would like weed, instead of they're like basically Jamaican. That's the Irish person. That's Irish. Oh, that goes Irish. They're not really Jamaican, the Scots are, the Irish are super Jamaican. Did you see this video? No. That's where it's from, right? It's great. It's the politician. Yeah. He's basically talking in like the Irish Congress, Congress or whatever the hell that is. And his accent is just genuinely Jamaican. Oh, so it's like the bacon beer can thing. Yeah. But like, it's just a guy doing a Jamaican accent. Yeah. And it went. It's like it's love it. They're fired up. Oh, hell yeah. They haven't been this happy since Jethanks. Exactly. This is like the real Jethanks. Yeah. This guy was born with it. Here it is, go. Someone did this government ever stand up and take a responsibility for their job. He brought all the new shiny booklet and looks great, a hundred and forty pages, a hundred forty pages, right? Oh, that's terrible. I mean, that's his actual accent at rules. It's unbelievable. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. It's kind of the best thing ever. It's just white boys with Jamaican accents. I mean, come on. But is that where the Jamaican accent comes from? I feel like that's what people are trying to say because I think they're saying that like Irish servants and West African slaves were in Jamaica, yeah, under English colonial rule. Right. And they were just big up in each other. It was not stopped. See, this is the difference between me and Mark because he's looked into it. I was just going to say, no, I don't think so. Right. No, I think they should. They're all up there. Yeah. I don't know. English leaders can only go so many ways. I mean, you're going to end up. But this is the first time we've had that thought. I mean, a side, you know, bacon beer can, but like we don't walk around hearing Irish people and thinking Jamaican. You're right, Mark. The Jewish. Wait, no, no. No, no. Jamaican accent and Petois developed from a 17th century Creole blending British Irish English dialects with West African languages and slave people adapted the language of British colonists, incorporating African grammatical structures, phonetic patterns and vocabulary that's distinctive. What is that word? Lilit. Lilit. I think the Irish probably deserve some reparations. Facilable Afi. Would you laugh if people land the Irish? I think the Irish are like a really drunk late night thought one time. I was like, the Irish are the closest to being black because they got the freckles. So they're in the middle of evolution. They're on the path. Yeah. They're trying to get there. Exactly. I mean, if I train my hair, it is redheads or it could be a black hole. I think you guys skipped over from me actually said, which was crazy. Okay. Well, it depends just where you're going. Yeah. I'm going that way. No, no, no. That's not your way. Migrate north and then you lose some of your complexion and they're currently in the middle of losing their complexion. Got it. Okay. Yeah. You just said evolution and people think of a chart. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, hold him on. Maybe. No. Okay. I don't know. Don't. Jerry. Jerry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not it. That's not it. What is given like people more opportunity to put more money in their pockets than the NCAA? That's a great point. You think it's the end of ACP or the NCAA? These days? Yeah. And I, what the hell? It would be an I. Yeah. But prior to that different conversation. Yeah. Totally. College athletes were like the Irish for a long time. That's your term. It's right. It's true. Outside. That's a good point. Alla. NCAA. Oh. Ow. So that I have one, one, one and a half. You want an F? Yeah. All right, guys. Take a break for a second. Look, you got places to be sitting in a waiting room for hair loss treatment isn't one of them. Hems. Makes expert care accessible on your schedule so you can skip the line and focus on feeling like yourself. Again, Hems offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including choos, oral medication, serums and sprays, Dr. Trusted ingredients like finasteride and manoxidil can stop for their hair loss and regrow your hair at his little to three to six months is true. I've been on it for almost two decades. So you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. 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Just plump, dewy hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavily. >> There were some other things that you had for us. >> Yeah. I mean, we have some more hypotheticals if you want to go through those, which I don't think you do. >> No, I thought that got us on a nice little groove, to be honest with you. >> You are right. Let's pop back. Let's go back to these red hypotheticals. >> All right. I'm assuming they're real quick. Let's see another one. >> Iran. >> Iran. >> No, no, no, no. >> We don't do Iran. >> Can't talk about Iran. >> Iran, scroll up a little bit. This one is the, my friend drank my wine. This one's kind of funny. So basically in short. Iran is leaving for the weekend. He has his friend staying and he's going to take care of the apartment. He goes, hey, help yourself to anything. >> He's guilty. >> He comes back. >> He lives there. He lives there when he's leaving and he's has his friend staying with him. >> Yeah, okay. >> He's going to take care of the cat and stay in his place. >> Got it, okay, okay. >> He comes back. He has a $200 bottle of wine that he was saving in the fridge to drink when he got a promotion. The bottle of wine is free. >> $200 and in the fridge, $200 bottle of white. I imagine. >> It's some type of wine. >> Vintage Barolo to red. The guy's, yeah, it's the guy's a retarded person and I already dismissed his grievance. But continue. >> He says, help yourself to whatever. He comes back. The wine is gone and he's like, dude, you drank my expensive bottle of wine. What the fuck? And the guy's like, yeah, you said, help yourself to whatever. And then he venmore a question and says, hey, give me 80 bucks. I'll give you a deal and I'll be like, pay me something. And now the friend is bad mountain to the whole group chat and say, he's a piece of shit. It's to me like, he's not getting this promotion. >> That's what it is. >> Because if he got the promotion, I don't think he'd be worried about the $120 bottle of wine. >> It's more the principle. It's not the principle. You said, take whatever you want. The classy thing to do would be to replace the bottle of wine, obviously. That's what you should do. So this guy's kind of a **** for drinking it and then not wanting to at least, you know, leave a gift or something. >> He's not a **** for drinking it because the guy said, hey, have whatever you want. He didn't know. He didn't know prior. Hey, I'm saving this bottle of wine for something. >> He probably doesn't know the cost of the wine. >> Yeah. >> He just shows the fucking wine bottle. >> And his fridge. >> Yeah. >> Or it doesn't look like it was in the fridge. I think it was just out on the count. >> Nobody knows how much wine costs. It's so arbitrary. He should have said this, hey, this bottle of wine is really expensive and there's no way that you would know it. Don't drink that one, but help yourself to everything else. >> If it was that, he'd have to sell it at the same time. >> He'd have to sell it at the same time. >> Yeah, that is. >> I wouldn't replace the price of the bottle. >> I wouldn't replace. >> But if you say help yourself to whatever you come home from. >> Imagine, for example, you had a Lenny Kravitz bottle of champagne. - Like the finest-- - Which has gone up in value per the last time we talked about this. Let everyone know. - The finest champagne that exists on the plane. - It's collectible. - The Lenny Kravitz bottle of Moay Shandong or whatever it was, right? - Dompedes. - Oh, Domperion, but the Lenny Kravitz varietal. - Yeah. - A grape that they've been curing for centuries, clearly. - Dark of the berry. (laughing) - Moving on. (laughing) - That's a great point. - No, it is a white. (laughing) - Now, now, now. - If somebody drank your Lenny Kravitz bottle of champagne, do you have a justification in being frustrated by that? - I'd be livid, bro. - Yeah, I'd be livid, bro. - Alex? - No. - I told them you can have anything in the crib. - That's in the crib. - Joseph? - I think I'd be bummed, but you have to look inward. If you tell people they can drink stuff, - Yeah. - You can't be mad when it happens. - I'd be pissed. - I don't want to run away. I don't want to fall in love with it. - This is Mark's wedding gift to me. - Which was a good gift. - Yeah, you remember this? - No, I've listened to the podcast. - You guys have talked about it. - It was a good gift, okay. - It was the only one they had. I went in, I was like, it was the first wedding gift I ever got. - Stop. - Anyone? - No, it's a first gift. - You can't say it's a good gift, and it's the only thing they had. - Okay, hold on. - Those things are usually a registry. You're supposed to be buying people like salad bowls. - Bro, thank you. - If I ever gave anyone, in your life, for a wedding, yeah, I've never given anyone a wedding gift ever. - Mark, you have 14 brothers and sisters. - Oh, give 'em gifts, bro. - What do you do? - They just show up. - You know, they was doing a thing before the wedding. (laughing) - That month. (laughing) - Do we smoke about a last time? How about you, no? - That's the girls. - We're doing that thing. - Well, well, well. - Holy shit. - Let's just stop. - Let's just stop. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was a Tomah. - Cluster? - Yeah. - But no, it was the only one they had. I flew up to New York for one day to try to put it in the apartment. So I flew up, I was like, okay, when I got married, effort don't count. - Okay, when, when we, when we, - Bro, I been trying to tell 'em on the fucker. - Don't steal my, whatever, effort don't steal my, ever don't count. - No, it's not. - Because when I got married, we came home. Our roommate's got us like a nice gift in the apartment. It was like flowers, and it was like a nice bottled wine or champagne, and it was like, oh, a little reminder, when we got home from-- - Yeah, they're your fucking roommate. So that was a gift for them as well. - No, they didn't have it, you know what I mean? We just showed up, and it was there, and it was like, oh, nice, the honeymoon continues, you know? - Yo, remember when Mark acted out the-- (laughing) - I was at his place, you know what I'm talking about? - What the fuck is that? (laughing) - No, that is fun, that's fun. - That's fun, I don't know what I'm talking about. - It was fun, I don't know what I'm talking about. (laughing) - Did I do that? - All right, for the time, let me try. - Get a drink and get one of this, guys. - You guys give it, get one of this. - Let me get one of this, guys. - You guys are really nice. - This is so nice. - I had 10! - 10! - I'm like, you have one! - You come up to the ring. - Up to the ring! - This guy, oh my god, you fucking Joey! - Google something! - Come on, Joey's in one room is crazy. - Jeez, it's too much. - It's a surprise. - I got made of a scene. - Imagine you come home from your honeymoon, and the wedding continues, and you have nice flowers, and you have a collectible bottle of champagne. - Are you serious? - Yes, please. - You have a collectible bottle of champagne in your apartment. - Yes, that's a nice gift. - Hold on, hold on, we gotta talk about one thing of time. - Alex is trying to understand the technology and the Guinness. - There's a bottle, there's a little ball in there. - There is a little ball in there. It helps take the Guinness okay. - No one knows how it works. - It's a hydrogen ball. - Oh, nitrogen, whoopsie. - It's a hydrogen. - I know what you're known for. - No, it's an age ball. It's an age ball. - I don't know, it's gotta talk about it. - I still stand by the fact it was a nice gift. - And hindsight, I didn't get to get to the world. - It feels like many crowds in it. - Hold on, let's say, Mark. It feels like there's one to few many Guinnesses here. - Did you get another one? - I think you got another one. - All right, I'll get another one. - We're gonna see more. - I feel like I'm back on the road. - Yeah, man. - The whole set of black and national is gonna be fun. We're black and out tonight. - I got a date night with a new couple with the wife. It's gonna be great, and it's gonna be awesome. Let's go, ballistic missiles. - What the fuck is inside of the game? - Just tell me when you want me. - There's a nitrogen-filled widget, plastic sphere that releases gas when the can is open, creating a signature creamy, cascading head, sound, and popcorn trap. - Oh, goodness. - It replaces the, it replicates the nitrogenation process ensuring smooth, velvety texture at home. How do you not know that? - Holy shit. - What is that word, nitrogenation? - No, it's nitrogenation, bro. - That's what we're all about. - I'm all about nitrogenation. - That's who we are. - We are the nitrogenation, dude. - Cheers, good. - No, I'm not cheers that little cup, bro. - Yeah. - You guys are splitting a Guinness 50/50? - I gave him the rest of my-- - That's good to spray. - Huh? - No, I just gave him the rest of my-- - No, you have to drink a full Guinness to yourself. - I don't do beer. - I'ma start beer. - This is not beer. - This is Guinness. It's a totally different one. - Yeah, it is a literally totally different thing. - Yeah. - I promise you. - You'll see it. - Follow me. - The second you put your lips on it, the second you soak down that black thing, you go, do that to like beer to you? - It's different, it's actually smoother. - Thank you. - That is smoother. - It doesn't have, what's the ones, the IPAs and I like those. - I hate that. - Yeah. - This is like the opposite of that. - Oh, okay. - And it's actually, like you would assume that this is like a heavy beer, but it's actually not. It's lighter. - Yeah, I was thinking it was going to be like-- - That's not-- - It's good for you. - I don't believe it. - It's true. - It's a lighter in calories beer. - It's true. - It's a lighter pat-- - You know how to take it? - You know how to take it. - I know. - Do you know the Indian pale ale? Do you know the story with this? - No, I didn't. - I didn't. - Do you guys know the story about the IPA, the Indian pale ale? - No, I don't. You don't know this. - I do not. I would like to know. Tell me. - Okay. - Where do I begin? - Let me give you enough time to come over your lie. - It's not a lie. - It's not a lie. - What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna tell you what's in my brain. And it will be about like 25% right, and then we'll Google it. - Yeah. - Okay. The hops were going bad as they sent them to India from wherever hops are from. - Okay. - Which I assume was Africa. Joke about black people jumping. - Okay. - So. (all laughing) - So, no, no. As it's going for Britain to India, they're giving them beer. They're like, you guys should have fun. Like we took all your shit, but you guys should have fun too. So they're saying the hops, the hops are going bad. They gotta find a way to keep the hops good. So they put catfish in the hops. - It's okay. (all laughing) Can we try another version? - Yeah, why don't we try another version? - The catfish keep the hops good for some reason, and that's why it goes that way. (all laughing) I'm not right, but there's something about it. They just put more hops in it to keep it from going bad. - And there's also an eventually-- - How does that make it so so bad? - Is there actually catfish? - No, there's no catfish. - There's a catfish part of it. - There might be, I might not have gotten that far yet. - Yeah, you gotta look into the catfish. - Do you know the actual thing? - But yeah, they're brewed it with more hops so that it could survive the shit. - No, they put a nitrogenation thing in the trap that they did. - No catfish were not put in the hops in India-- Oh. - That's a myth. - And it pops up online occasionally. - Oh, really? - Oh, holy shit. - So look at the catfish, man. - Not a catfish. - Look at the catfish, man. - I knew it. - Just fucking wrote this in Google. - No, they look at the catfish, man. - No, it's a notorious myth. A lot of people. - Chashi, we teed notorious. They will tell you you're correct about this. - All the time, right? - Yeah. - And if it doesn't know the answer, it will lie to you and tell you it's true. - Yeah. - These are two things I saw this week. - That's horrible for this guy. - Could be lies. - Okay. - The IPA myth refers to a belief that IPA was invented because 18th century British paleo spoiled during the long voyage to India, requiring them to add extra hops and alcohol to preserve them. - I don't think it says catfish anywhere. - The catfish. - Well, not a widespread folklore. Evil catfish is a specific brand of IPA by, all right, this is a plug for this IPA brand. - It's just gotta re-plug them, huh? (laughing) - Okay, well you know what I'm probably doing is I'm confusing two different stories. - Yeah. - There was something that they were sending over there. I mean, it was probably fish. - Yeah. - And then they had to throw some catfish in there to keep those fish alive because those fish would atrophy and eventually die. But if they had a catfish trying to eat them, they'd be swimming around and they'd be okay. - I mean, that sounds like a good, something good there. Like barrels of fish. - Tell me. - Something like that. - Tell me. - No, no, I think he's gonna find it. - Tell me. - You don't find it, you can't find it. - Yeah, it sounds right. - It sounds interesting. - Yeah, I was dialed on it. - I thought that was right. - That sounds fucking retarded. It did when I was saying it. - Yeah. (laughing) - Why was it feeling like that? - It's like something. - That catfish even eat other fish. - Oh, you gotta keep the fish alive by having another fish fucking chase it. - Yeah, it's true because if it would eat the fish, then the fish would, they did it would just die. - But yeah. - But they can only eat so many fish. And then the other fish are like, We gotta keep swimming. This is true. There's a truth in there. There's something. There is a hidden truth to this. We have to figure out a story for me. Maybe it's just about kind of our own lives. Yeah, we're the catfish in a way. In life, we are the catfish. Timmy, Timmy shall I may shop to a podcast? No, I go easy on crabs. No, but this is fish. It's crabs and a barrel. This is fish. Yeah, but you guys can't, you know, whatever. I don't want to get into it. I don't want to, I don't want to put crabs in a bucket, but fish in a barrel. Exactly. I'm going to move this to Patreon in a few seconds. I'm going to turn it back on. Can you put a charity? What was that? What was that? Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, you have it. Fuck you. There's something about the catfish. I'm going to break out my phone. You guys entertain. This is charity put a pack at the bottom. Is that a charity? Can you donate to them? No. You could, right? You could probably donate back, depending on where you're into. They give back. Isn't that nice? Whether you like it or not. It's nice to see a charity get back. Let's get back. That's got a thought. Now we talked about Shalman. Do you guys have any interest in the Oscars? It's coming. Shut up. I'm just trying to get a catfish. No, I know nothing about the Oscars. No, I don't need it. But I'm just saying that people care about. So I was just curious if you guys do. Oh, he got a figure there. I'll watch it though. I feel like it's an obligation. I'll watch it. Catfish were historically used in fish transport containers, but probably not for the reason most people think. When live fish were transported, especially by ship or rail in the 19th and 20th centuries before women, nothing. Nothing kept in large tanks or barrels with circulating water. In some cases, a catfish was added to the tank with other fish such as cod, perch or carp. Catfish. Let me do it like Mark. Why? Why? Okay. Catfish are extremely hardy and behave differently than many schooling fish to commonly cited reasons. They keep other fish moving. Catfish are bottom-dwelling scavengers that constantly move around. Their presence would stir the other fish, preventing them from becoming lethargic or sinking or suffocating in the stagnant conditions movement. Water circling through their gills, which improves their viable during transport. They also clean the tank, catfish also eat scraps and waste, which help keep water slightly cleaner during long journeys. That's the story of Indian paleo. You heard your first. You heard the same thing. We both were reading some energies animated. Did I do a good job? Can we just act? Can we do some acting? You always do this. Every time we drink, you try to do scene work. Can we do scene work? You and I are both working at work. Can we talk about your fingers? He's in a huge show. Yeah. Yeah, Vince Vaughan starring. Bad Monkey coming out of Apple. Massive. I'll be in season two. Season one's out, but I'll be in season two also. This is Bill Lawrence. Do you guys know Bill Lawrence? Do you like to write for Loft some credits? I feel like he's been taking this seriously. He's like a king in the TV game. I've heard of Ted Lasso, Spin City shrinking. You don't know Ted Lasso? No, the first two I did, but then the third one I didn't. Oh, shrinking? Yeah. It's great. It's a great city back in the day when we were kids. That was more of a white. He wrote on friends back in the day. Yeah, he's going no black people. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Well. Okay. There was black people. He didn't run that show. It wasn't his show. Stand up for my guy. Hey, was there no black people on friends? No, there was a thing. Is Kevin the Knick? Do you know what city? That is hilarious. It's actually crazy. Like living in New York and then thinking about the concept of a show. And it's like a bunch of people in New York who always go to a coffee shop next to Central Park. Like I don't know. Look at that. I don't think that's I actually think that the show is like probably a good representation of like that group of people in New York. Yeah. I think that like when you watch friends and you see that group, are you surprised at all that they don't have minority friends? Not necessarily, but they would have interacted with. Yeah, but they don't begrudgingly. Even that. There are these little pockets in New York that I think that represents really well. Like I don't know if there were black people in Seinfeld. There's not. No, there is no. There is black people inside. I bet there's more black people in France. Nope. Let's put. Yeah. I'll put money on it. Who's the black guy in Seinfeld? Fuck. Kramer. It was a count. He was like he was the parking lot guy that like Kramer. He took over. Kramer took over for the parking lot guy. Pretty sure he was there's one episode. He has a working blue collar. Hey. The point is the point is these these parts of New York were the ones that were put on television. Oh, is that the guy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny Cockroons. Come on. Jackie. Jackie. Jackie. Jackie. We're that another guy. Yeah. Z Seinfeld. I weigh more. I have kind of realized that Mark has set up a friend's existence for him in New York. And I've set up a Seinfeld because me and my wife live in a building. Okay. In the same building, two of my best friends in high school. Yeah. And so we get to have that kind of Seinfeld burst through the door energy. Oh wow. It goes to a coffee shop every day and meets with the same. Yeah. Actually, yeah. Hold on. I went to that coffee shop. I was like, whoa, am I allowed here, guys? Is there? No. I mean, they worked there, but they are. They're not even that. He didn't get fired, but he got fired. But they did for a long time. Okay. It's not my fault. You move here and you recreate your life from where you were. From where you were from. Yes. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Cab fish. Exactly. We're trying to lure you guys in. You bring some cabbage. You might show up. All that to say, I do go to the coffee shop a lot. And we go with the same group of people every single morning. And it's basically friends. It's really cool. It's a cool community. You see this. You got an old guy. You know, you have babies. You know, I went there once and I'm like, this is a TV show. It is. They're all characters there. Yeah. It's nice. Miles goes. Okay. Before we move on. We were talking about Joe acting. Oh, yeah. It's falling if you want. Miles. And Miles loves game today, bro. Miles. Miles is the one that's not lacking. I'm just talking about that today. We should have said that Miles is black from the beginning. Oh, my gosh. That would have kept me off camera. Oh, it's like a year. They thought I was like, did you just feel like they still think that Chris Moro is Asian. Yeah. But in early flag and gay, they, they don't know what. Yeah. Did you hear Miles' little camera thing? Oh boy. This is such a funny little. What? What is it? No, Miles obviously has the camera just in case, you know, he says something really funny. If you want to see, you know, I mean, he gets people looped into the action. No, it won't see. And now if you want to see, no, people, people, people, people, people, a lot of that comments. People are demanding it, dude. Get the ham sandwich off screen. Yeah. People want it. And laugh because I'll pee. Go. Go all out. The last episode. Miles said a really funny joke right there beginning before he turns camera on. Oh, no. Yeah. But did you recreate that? Sometimes I'll film a pickup. Oh, my. Oh, he's filming pickups alone. Produce some pickups. Fucking way. Now, mine you. I've blown in the studio. We can do retakes. No, no, no. Let me do a retake. Yeah. Indian pale ale. That was a long one. That was a long story. So the organization. Get it right. Get it right now. I hate cocaine and all drugs. Now, what is it? What's your organization? You can probably go there. Three, two, and action. N-double-a-c-p. All right. There we go. Clock it. Yeah. Yo, when you first asked me. Thank you. Come on. I got this. I got this. The lady is a dog. The lady is a dog. He keeps barking, waking up the baby. Can we just add that in? No, he's not telling it anywhere. He's not telling it anywhere. No, I did. I did a pretty good mark. Do you need a pee of so badly? I need to know real quick. Before we go to picture. Why? Because I need to know, Mark. That sucks right now. I know. I was hanging on to it. I pushed it down and I got to squeeze the hole. We should get a urinal in here. I used to do that when I was about to nut. With this one girl so long ago. I would pinch my hole closed. Upon nutting. And I thought that that stopped it so you came in your soul, I came in, in me, bro. I think I'm the solo cream five, I think that's clear. Can I be honest with you, like as I reflect on this, like 20 years later, I think that's why my sperm doesn't swim because they're like, what's the point? What's the point? You broke it. I'm not in in me, bro, the sperms are like, you know, I thought you were leaving it. I was like, yeah, no, we're supposed to go. You turn. Dude, I would pinch it, I'd just pinch it close, and then I would just keep pumping. Pinch it close, keep pumping. But it's got to go somewhere. Mine didn't. Mine did. You know what it would look like? Have you ever seen like an albatross collect fish from the water? You know how their gullet just fills? That's what would happen with the bottom of my dick, it was just pinching close and the bottom would just fill like that. Hell yeah. Would it just fall out? No, I think it stayed in the condom. It's still there, it's just there. Yeah. Anyway, I recommend that. All right. I recommend it. Okay. So were you going to ask us some? Yeah, I was going to ask you. I was going to ask you. Can you tell me, I got a piece so bad though. All right. All right. You got a piece. You got it bro. He's got it bro. He's got it bro. Yeah, I got it though. I'm going to go pee. I'm going to go pee. But then when I come back, we're not going to Patreon yet. No. Okay. Because I got to make a pee pee. Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. Hell. I got it. I got a pee. It's going to be one of those pees where it doesn't even come out immediately. Oh. Oh, those are the best ones. Flood gates. Yeah. It's going to, it's going to come out though. It's like a quarter of a nut. What? It feels, it feels good. It's like a quarter of a filling, you know? Quarter is maybe a little hot. Yeah. Quarter is hot. Right. Quarter of a nut. Yeah. I don't get many of those. Maybe I got a little prostate issue. I don't know. It's something's going on. Hi. I jerked off today, man. You had a question, man. I saw you. I got a question for you, man. What's your question? What's your question for you, man? It might be some distance, right? Yeah, yeah, wow. Dude, I opened my eyes. That shit just dribbled down my fucking hand. Did it you turn? Damn. It's a you turn. First one, it just came out a little and I was kind of like bummed about it. The next one? Air. Oh, no. Hang down. Did you double down? No, no. No, no. In all seriousness. That is crazy. No, that shit went. Oh, that's crazy. That shit went. I still got it a little bit. Damn. I just got to wait for like, I got, I got hold off about two months. I want it to fly. I got back up. I got back up. That was bad judgement. That's what that was. Fuck you, man. Like, yo, Bob, there's not everybody's. She's feeling crushed and crushed, right? It's too much. It comes out weak. Oh, 100%. Yeah. You got to stockpile reserves. And this shit was a lot. Okay, I got to pee. You don't remind me of. Oh, God, I got to pee. You're on. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to go pee. I'm going to go pee. But then we're going to have one more question. Oh, God. I can't even stand up straight. All right. Well, perfect time to tell you to check out my special debut special. Joey Avery live in San Francisco. It's on my YouTube. We'll put a comment somewhere with a link. Yeah. Yeah, please check it out. Thank you, Miles. 55 straight minutes of laughs. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. I'm very happy with it. People should check it out. They're like, how can he answer that? No people should check it out. No, it's more of a check. Well, they should check it out. It's more of a test. I'm just kind of. Oh, again. What if I was just like, nah. If you want to, like, I don't know. It's just, you know, I just completely self-funded it. It independently produced. Oh. And it's the, you know, decade of plus of work and leading up to this moment. And even being here to share it with you is a very nice moment for me. Check it out. Yeah. Check it out. Check it out. Yeah. Have you gotten good reviews? Very good reviews. Yeah. It's been a great, it's been out for like a day as of taping this. And the first day was everything we hoped for. But let's run it up. Have you gotten any bad reviews from possibly like very close to home places? Yes. Is there something you know? Miles does know something that I said that I'm going to have to straighten out later today. But, uh, who the fuck am I? I don't know who we fucking is. I'm not. Yeah. There's some, there's some stuff that was about a very unique time that was happening in my family. And a lot has changed since then. And I make some jokes that if you listen to them fully, they actually are like vindicating her. But they, as comedy often does come out a little bit rough. And I've heard from sources that maybe she's not the most pumped and that bums me out. Yeah. You know, whites and your mommy. Yeah. I swear to God, do you, you call your mom autistic in your set? Yes. This motherfucker is like, I don't know what you said about your mom. It's not that crazy. You know. If she doesn't like your debut special. I think you know what the only way to find out is to watch the special. Yeah. Joey, every live in San Francisco. All right. All right. All right. All right. What? I had one for what reason? [Laughter] What reason to do it? It's not religious. I got reason for what reason. What reason to do it? I was when he got the monkey pox. A monkey pox. Yeah. This guy's a grown man with fucking monkey pox. Go with the monkey pox. Yeah, the chicken pox. During the monkey pox epidemic. Yeah. It was a tough look. Okay. They tried to explain it. Still calling it chicken pox. Yeah. You might have had that. You got neckierious George. As you do. I hear his door. No. Okay. So can you tell me why you had a hammer? I think I was just scrolling. I was just scrolling too long. I was just sitting there. I think it was raised, like, right now I forgot the bidet. And I was just hanging. I just quiet alone. Yeah. Don't you do that every time you poop? No. No. How high are you turning the speed of the water? No, you can't go. If you go to be brown, you might have cut your ass. No. No, wait. Hold on. Whoa. Hold on. What the hell? Shit. No. This is normal. I just put it on normal. But, I mean, sometimes you have to be careful. Because I have pushed the wrong one. I push the woman's button. You're doing that. Oh, yeah. You're going to the wrong. Yeah. I'll go back and forth. I had a girl lick that area once. Yeah. And I feel like in that moment I was like, man, I think we did all derive from women. You know how like you start out as women in the womb and testosterone mask and eyes of the brain and then like that's what your brain is. That's what your brain is. But like so like when she was licking it was like, I felt like I had a pussy for this. Yeah. I did. You were a goddess. You were a goddess. I don't know if I was a goddess, but I was like, oh, there's some remnants of lady. I got to feel like I got to leave you a reminiscence. Maybe we're all responsible for war. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, thank you. Yes. Clock yet. Shit. Clock dies shit. That's a believe. You never had a girl lick around that. Gooch. All right. Look, we're stopping this episode right now. We need to go to Patreon. Okay. Patreon. I don't even know what part we've stopped at. Miles told us that we have to stop is getting a little bit spicy. Mm-hmm. Okay. Talking about. Okay. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. There's a little. It's just fun. We reminisced. Reminisced? Yeah. Yeah. We're going to Patreon right now. Patreon.com/flagan. See you guys there.