Sex and the City S2E4: “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?” with Saidah

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He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, "Dang, that's a good offer." The highest form of approval. No haggling. No hassle. No one called him "boss." He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on Carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply. She's like, "Do you know where the clitoris is?" He's like, "Yeah." She's like, "Well, you're two inches away." Yeah. And he's like. Two inches? He's out here like rubbing her goddamn knees. Down at the ankle. Welcome back to Girls Rewatch. A podcast about girls. TV. And girls on TV. I'm Amelia Retaller. And I'm Evan Lazarus. And today we are watching season two, episode four. They shoot single people, don't they? Yes. I have to say it like that. And before we get into that episode, I just want to remind everyone quickly, we are on Substack now. So if you're listening to this and you want to listen to it ad-free, uh-oh, you can get that version quickly over there. Also, it's a great place for us to highlight some of our favorite thinkers in the space of TV, media, and just having fun. So head over there. Subscribe. It's the best way to support the podcast. If you want to do a byline, pitch us. We really want that to happen. Loving. Live, laugh, laugh. And joining us on the couch today. Oh my God. I love this girl so much. No. She's the only one that matters to me. We were at, and don't talk yet, we were at a daytime fashion show. Not a nighttime one, a daytime one. A daytime fashion show to replace the Met Gala. And it was just Starbucks workers and Amazon workers in gorgeous dresses from independent queer artists. Oh yeah. That was radical. It was radical. Were they queer? I'm just assuming based off of this. Maybe they were straight, Evan. Straight people can be underemployed too. I'm deciding off the designs. They were gay. Oh. It's completely an aesthetic thing. But I like. So the night before I met a girl in line at my roommate's boyfriend's album release party. And I invited her as my plus one. And then of course at 10:00 PM I was like, "So I'll see you at 10:00 AM tomorrow morning." And she was like, "No." And then I was like, "Damn, who the hell am I going to know at this Starbucks, Amazon fashion party, runway party?" And I get there and I see one amazing face. And then we latch onto each other and we sit in direct sunlight for the next hour. As though we're in the same room. And I'm like, "Oh my God. see you at 10 a.m next tomorrow morning she's like no and then i was like damn who the hell am i gonna know at the starbucks amazon fashion uh party uh runway party and i get there and i see i see one amazing face and we latch on to each other and we sit in direct sunlight for the next hour as a cast member from avid elementary does her thing yes it was beautiful so giving up now for saeeda i'm like literally like sailing i'm like floating on cloud nine right now with you too oh my god we are in cloud nine in many ways we are literally in the world like you have to prove it girl because you can you can convince yourself you got to convince us too i know i'm like i'm like literally in the clouds but yes no thank god you're here because i feel like we tried to get you for broad city and now we're fully in season two and now it's like i mean you guys are turning turning it's like well it's because um you'll only come out of your house like once a week me yeah well is that true about you no you like to go out a lot well you're like you're a hermit you're on a bender like you're actually right about both of those things i've never seen you in your house i've only seen you out you're not watching her tiktoks i'm like i know and whenever like the one time i'm out i'm like shooting tiktoks like someone literally clocked me in my comments being like you're only posting tiktoks when you're out in a dress i was like okay well that's and by the way that's how it works and that's how it works newly doesn't come to you you know hello like it's like i wear my newly clothes for a one hour podcast never again then i'm just in my nike pros like at home i know literally my ball got and then it's like actually never mind right i should have done newly for the anti-Met Gala, Met Gala. They would have loved that. Oh my God. We should do like a collab kind of thing. Collab, like newly. Wait, what were you meaning by you should have done newly? Like wore newly? Like I should have worn, I should have like found newly to wear. I forgot what I wore, but it wasn't very climactic. It was 90 degrees out and then we met Sita's friend who was in a full suede, like Navajo inspired dress. Navajo inspired, looking gorgeous, but she was like, this was a huge mistake. It was about two inches thick. And what fashion week was this? it was no it was a replace of met gala it was an anti-billionaire met gala fashion runway And I'm like, "Oh my God. right which is important right did you see how everyone's clip other than mine went viral for that event did you post oh well i posted one collage video that got like did okay every other girl was getting like tens hundreds of thousands of likes i know mind you evan only went to the event to get that video to get that god no i didn't know i was gonna take a video i actually didn't know what it was because it looked like spam i know it did look like and it did go to my spam right so i did i did have to say report not spam and then i did rsvp regardless and then i went right after the anti-met anti-corporate thing went to soho house immediately after but then still had my um badge on and then your armors were on your neck of course like naturally naturally and the flowers because they also gave us flowers so then i had like long stem like direct from the like we got root and all the damn flowers 12 hours you came in props props like had a whole bouquet and this lanyard and he was like oh were you at that like event that was happening i was like yeah like whatever that's cool that you can contain multitudes like you go to the starbucks worker fashion show and then you go straight to the whole house we contain multitudes i actually was on a bender that entire day i literally didn't go home till like 2 a.m i went to i went to dime square that night and i was like i don't do that you're never texting me i've never because i don't have your number then i also have your number apparently we do the same where every And I'm like, "Oh my God. week we text each other each other's number but you won't use it like literally i'm like on instagram dm me like evan and it's like you have my number i need your number i'm like whose number could this be i love it it's so fun for me because i like it i like it but amelia we need more inside jokes now no yeah so we're gonna create a group chat that's like really alive it's just us c guys f e a oh my god i love that thai place oh where is that in williams oh c c isn't that where alana worked in broad city the fake sushi restaurant it has a pond inside oh i went with my dad once when he was in town and i was like what is going on do you want to hear something kind of gross okay sorry that now that we're just talking about c so my name is evan my mom's name is tracy my dad's name is andy okay you move those letters around you can get the word t e a t and there's other combinations you can even do that there's other stuff you my brother's name is jack you can't spell one word with that so he's never been part of the picture oh my god there's no word that's j-a-t-e and this is this is what's gross is that what you said no because he's the the lazarus branding it's really like we have to well your pronouns are they he or just they it's like whatever feels better for you but don't you dare say he oh my god oh my god they're gonna cancel me already it's like minute two i'm like you're gonna cancel me don't look through those instagram dms girl oh my god i feel really out of it i know oh my god wait we're back the problem is emily and i after three years of our trip don't have one inside joke yet so we're just it's hard to rub it into her face the way the listeners are like so do they hate each other no i'm like we need more inside jokes so they know we're okay oh my god can i tell one more story and i guess we can talk about the podcast yeah we should talk about sex in the city but tell the story okay so i was with a female founder yesterday there we go loving it and she told me she lived with her gay friend that she created a small business with and almost broke them apart and i said amelia and i almost had that too but what happened is that they built the greenhouse while they were starting a small business in their backyard and that's what actually put them over you started told that story and i said i'm a female founder why wasn't it me you never refer to me as a female founder that is interesting you're a female finder every time we go to a room you always find oh you find a female i'll tell you that i'm laughing i'm laughing i am laughing um girl tell me what's your journey with sex in the city how do you know it totally okay so like here we go like sex in the city you can make it quick i've heard about it i've seen it i loved it my roommates you know i obviously live with two gay men so like they're always watching you do yeah you're new girl i'm new you're a new new girl i'm new new girl and they're engaged oh my god you're looking at an engaged and engaged gay couple and i'm kind of like by the way you're the third girl i know who's done that you're like get a line you're not special no i'm like well actually make a movie about it because i want you to represent them - I know. - That's about one billion girls. - But it's like, but no one's seeing a black girl. Talk about it, I'm gonna get emotional. a black girl living with two white guys it's the HBO show we were missing it's the HBO show we were missing it kind of really is it kind of is I am like if I could watch anything on HBO right now it would be that it would be and it's like I'm obsessed with them are they nice or evil or what's their vibe they're both like literally so nice actually okay so one of them I studied abroad with in Australia 10 years ago and we've been besties ever since the one that works at Helmet Lane no so actually funny enough the night that the day that me and Evan were at the 90 degree anti-Mack Gala event you're searching for a pronoun I know I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm fighting I'm fighting I'm just gonna say Evan across the street I see my other roommate that works at Helmet Lane literally right next door in like the Gansevoort Plaza just like watching like in the door like they're on the other side of the line like on the other side of the line like we're inside they're like the outside just staring being like and I texted being like I see you and then he was like yeah Diva I'm trying to find you in this like fucking place they're not allowed in they don't have a VIP pass did you bring the female finder we bring the female finder female finder I know I'll get a hold of them I'll get a hold of them that's how she does it but yeah so basically they're always like they're on their like 7-3 watch and can you believe I hadn't ever really seen Sex and the City like I've seen Sex and the City the movie with my mom twice however that classic situation where you haven't seen the show but you've seen the movie twice with your mom yeah pause back up like back up back up like it was like it was like so crazy oh my god that scene where they're like all in are they in Dubai oh just like a movie you're talking about like the movie and they take off all of their hijabs to like show off like their outfits have you seen that I've not seen it it's so horrific it's so like it's so crazy anyways so timeless timeless okay so cut that cut that cut everything but the point is that I finally this was a really good motivation to like properly watch so I'd seen season one but then I watched like season two oh my gosh like the last season like the last few days oh so you're you're in it so I'm like wow like I'm loving this like this is so relevant I more people should be talking about sexual cities no one's ever really mentioned it I know right so let's get to it the way I'm like you guys you gotta hear about this they're the ones who told me about it you guys are crazy for never watching this show before I know it's such a piece of history how did you even get to New York I don't well and what's your North Star honey cause that's not a good one hello redirect yourself you redirect redirect you know Broad City showed me the way you know what it's everything to me is like when when in Devil Wears Prada where it's like you're wearing Cerulean cause the people in this room picked that out right yes yes yes well the reason you're on this couch right now is because those four girls dared to dream no I know that wow I know that now I'm moved Alana and Abby would be nothing without Carrie and Samantha it's true and then before that was no nobody actually I think it was just Carrie and Samantha I love those just like two as well wait okay let's get into the episode yeah let's get into the episode which I just want to say last night when I was making me out at Long Island the title of the episode is they shoot single people don't they I unknowingly typed they shoot single people with guns don't they and I was like girl girl I mean they are have you been to Williamsburg have you been to Grand Heights no it's they're really mad at single people they're so mad everyone's like oh that loser's still walking with no guy on her hand I'm like okay every time I walk around Williamsburg I'm like so there's something radical going on right now there's a radical thing from entering Whole Foods daring to shop for myself I'm Miranda buying my own apartment anytime I walk down Bedford Avenue no I know the thought of being an active target down Bedford Avenue and yes and by the way I am for small businesses that they need to like sell stuff they bought off to you and then resell it they love to target me oh sure I do want a hat that you can like press the bottom and hit your flip bob do you know what I'm talking about they always love to target me with those like dog ears yeah dog ears but they're when you compress the air inside the paw which is also wait excuse okay excuse I think I made myself clear here I got the wait okay really really quick summary of the episode if you didn't just watch it like us they I put on my phone I'm just gonna say the four plot lines instead of a bad summary like we always do yes the AI it's time to grow up AR generated that's you Amelia so this her whistle should be AI this episode is about Miranda faking orgasms F dash Carrie being single and fabulous if you're on the audio version Evan's wearing the magazine cover as a shirt absolutely Samantha's being future faked by a wee guy and Charlotte is trying to get the handyman actor to stay instead of moving to Salt Lake City to be in the Mormon days of our lives oh my god it's so good this is like an all-timer episode I was laughing out loud you know what they decided to do they decided to make the script funny well here we go I was like okay I'm laughing I'm laughing well that point where they were like in the gay club and then they're like and the only straight guy here and it's Bradley Cooper and I was like when Bradley Cooper enters the scene and that's so true mind you mind you she is a good actor isn't she mind you it's 2am on a Tuesday mind you it's 2am on a Tuesday he has a cigarette he says do you need a cigarette Carrie's blackout drunk because of what has happened to her naturally what is it she's drinking tartinis tartinis she's like tartini tartini she took 40 days off of drinking she's like Stanford they invented a cocktail while I was gone fuck it's just good it's just good I mean it's good this this is probably one of the all time best episodes of Sex and the City I think the iconography just of this like what I'm wearing right now like hot and single question mark OMG single and fabulous and that too girl you know it's a very emblematic hot and single honey yeah please I'm like rewrite it rewrite it rewrite her history well let's let's start at the beginning okay let's start we open so there was a big bang and then Mars they're at the salsa club downtown all of them are single at the same time for once hashtag girls night and the way the guys are looking at all four girls who are perfect tens being like they're alright right they're like mid off you guys are having a mid off it's like okay like don't piss me off in the cold open fuck like female joy and they're like snooze-a-loo they are 32 years old and doing shots on a weeknight sure as somebody who's almost can't do that anymore has almost already aged out of the system I was like should they be doing this and Samantha is in her 40s like are they are they alcoholics it doesn't look a day over 35 as they said no apples are different now like they've been cutting it so that's why we're reacting different but back in the day it used to be way more pure it's like when Europeans have bread and it's better for them but also they're all like the size of my left foot you know what I mean so obviously they're like lightweight McGee and that's not me shaming anyone's bodies that's just the difference from the 90s that's scientific it was just like that's ABV percent or whatever yeah like I was like it was just different back then ABV imagine that is the acronym I'm like I couldn't even figure out blood alcohol content oh my BAC I will I do want to talk about the fact that Carrie knows she has a photo shoot tomorrow with the New Yorker and she's like okay one drink and then she's like oh god I accidentally had 10 drinks and it's like girl you're too old to be like whoopsies right and it's for the New Yorker like it's like let's get it together I'm like if it's a New Yorker she acted completely correct okay honey she showed up that's fine for them Zach Schiffman appears good please let them talk let them talk and finally they acknowledge her asses okay fine if that's what it takes a little bait I'll give it right I think it's fun like that's authentically her god forbid she showed up to a photo shoot which is about her and she's authentic and she comes an hour late no makeup and it's like it's sexy it's kind of like she's like I mean to be honest she doesn't she looks pretty she looks kind of awesome I'm like mad at you too because for even bringing up this scene and no one even mentioned the fashion poncho yet oh the fashion I have a whole I have a whole point in ponchos is it time to get back into ponchos yet I think it is I think so I feel like poncho that was like first grade like I remember going to recess in first grade and being like okay it's like poncho time it's poncho time and like every thrift store would have like a poncho and like this kind of like Mayan kind of yeah I'm like so this is problematic this is problematic and then Justice for Girls did their own spin on it where it's like shiny pink I love it sure sure it's either like white guy who like basically dreads his hair or like white woman who's like going to like to donut going through something it's really specific I mean the girl there's a girl in my elementary school known for her fashion poncho she showed like she was like she would show up her name was Ava Bradlow she'll love this oh my god Ava Bradlow shout out you know it's like when you're like when you're when you dare to wear a fashion poncho you know how to like expand your creativity and now she's a jewelry designer Betsy Johnson and she didn't if she wasn't introduced to the fashion poncho at a young age would she have the courage to chase her dreams like that I don't think so because she transferred from Skidmore to Wesleyan that doesn't take that doesn't take a meet girl okay that's a big step I'm like do I know this girl everyone knows a girl in the fashion poncho I'll tell you that though but I'm not sure that like goes to Wesleyan it's like okay that is kind of their whole alma mater I'm like I'll I'll never make it in this town I didn't have a fashion poncho on in first grade fashion poncho I feel like Hannah Horvath is a girl who wore a fashion poncho easily way too late easily easily just to follow her well I was just thinking about the fact that like when I have a photo shoot coming up I don't drink anything for a week leading up to it so I look good and it is the kind of thing where it's like all those people saying like Gen Z is not fucking but they do look awesome I think so yeah I think that is it this is true well also what's your sign Aries okay what's your sign How much do you weigh, girl? S slash M. lol at me getting extra large tights from that um store that i was telling you guys about and then i tried them on and they didn't make it past like right right right tights well like reverse capri in that like they could they were socks a sock brand called reverse capri oh my god we need that it's just like body shapes ffl oh my god wait i have my own um hot and fabulous single and fabulous photo shoot oh my last year i was featured in an open igloo campaign well on the one on the train the one on the train which is huge that was huge and they had to they first off they were like when they saw me they're like we want to make you as racially ambiguous as possible well i was about to say i was like waging no they they waged me out they waged because they were like we did they're like i was like they only booked white people they're like oh they got the self-tan around they're like they literally like straightening my hair it's like what is going on oh my god everything what is happening please this is the world we live in i get there the whole wardrobe that they have for me is this extra large and an ass cough oh i was like that's my that's a wear today was a extra large button down button down to the top button down to the top he came and then i was like i didn't eat for 24 hours before this like don't worry you're gonna be the baggy look they put me to billy to billy eilish they gave me the billy special billy eilish they were like okay you're waging and you're billy eilish i think i was gonna like do a full frontal at the open igloo real estate subway campaign i'm like why didn't i drink the weekend leading up to the broad city photo shoot where i was in a giant army jacket wait you were in a broad city no we're we did it we paid for it ourselves self-funded self-funded right right and you were looking glamazine i mean your hair has always been kind of like this like is it the texas of it all so much it's yeah there's some residual there's some residual feelings of needing my hair to be fried to the bone it's just funny culturally well let's cut to our first break and then when we get back we'll talk about the gay guy of it all yeah oh thank god oh my god sorry to interrupt amelia those sunglasses i'm so excited to be talking about these because i got three pairs of gutter sunglasses and i had two random pairs of sunglasses in my room i don't use those ones anymore because these ones they work better you know what i city bike everywhere in the summer and oh my god it's doing this it's doing this it's doing this stable stabilized with gutter i can electric city bike across the williamsburg bridge and not fear that my sunglasses are gonna fly into the hudson river is that the river it is it's gonna go ahead and be the east river the east river so actually for years my mom has been a like ride or die gutter fan they have so many fun ones i got two pairs of pink ones because i've decided that this is gonna be like part of my brand identity this summer i'm just gonna try it on well they frame your face so well no slip no bounce also they're all polarized which i love because it's actually so bright when nobody talks about how bright the sun is that's what my mom connected with with how much polarization is going on never forget when my expensive sunglasses got lost in the miami ocean when i went under right and then you went under almost financially trying to buy another pair literally but then you get gutters guess what affordable are you ready to update your eyewear to something functional fashionable fun and affordable yeah i am head to gutter.com slash girls rewatch to claim ten dollars off your first order that is g-o-o-d-r.com slash girls rewatch the monarch app that i downloaded has radically changed my life but how so the thing about monarch is i was able to connect every single account that i have in my finances like we've got charles schwab in there we've got chase in there we got apple bank all 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monarch.com to get your first year of monarch core half off at just fifty dollars no that is 50 off your first year at monarch.com with code girls rewatch i love that like literally bringing happiness to me and my family when you think like an athlete setbacks don't stop you but mindset alone doesn't get you moving again that's where icy hot steps in ice works fast heat makes it last so when the rest of the world settles because of a setback icy hot accelerates your comeback with fast acting powerful pain relief icy hot you're so back fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross the real cost of a break-in isn't your valuables it's the feeling that your home stopped being safe simply safe keeps danger away from your family with three layers of protection one smart ai cameras and live us-based agents help stop intruders before they break in two we sound the alarm at points of entry three our agents request emergency response plans starting around a dollar a day right now get 60 off your new system with professional monitoring at simply safe.com slash spotify outdoor deterrence plans start at 49.99 a month visit simply safe.com slash licenses for alarm license information you know what the show does an amazing job at what introducing a bitchy guy that controls over rooms like it's so interesting because we samantha is the prototypical like pr girl she's a girl in the red flats at the met gala like running back and forth commanding the room right oh here's his name nevin von bitchy oh my god i love when carrie is like i hate you and then he's like i hate you too i know i was like okay you're so bitchy so it oh carrie's at the photo shoot she's like the mean gay guy neville von bitchy neville is like you're about a fucking month late and she's like i need a coffee i couldn't find a taxi anywhere and then he goes did the taxi drag you from all the way from upper west side right right right right omg omg um and then carrie's smoking and the photographer is she's like do you mind if i smoke and she's like i don't care if you shoot up i remember this i was like this is lesbian representation this is like that girl's like i don't give a fuck i don't know anything about the male gays fuck off fuck off like just take the goddamn photo it's like you know what this this show does a great job i mean it's obviously very mighty gay guy but it's a great job of understanding that like bitchy gay love bitchy guy bitchy like oh right like nice guy always goes with nice game bitchy gay always goes with bitchy guy so is the bitchy gay neville von bitchy and then the other bitchy gay stanford stanford's not a positive man not positive but very so i guess like one's a submissive bitchy gay and the other one's a dom bitchy gay you got bottom and top bitchy bottom and top bitchy gay but they're both still bitchy and they're both sides we actually need an xy graph yeah i know exactly chaotic neutral chaotic neutral i'm like who you want to like you also yeah do you think i'm a bitchy guy well yes okay but i i'm talking to my dear friend evan showed up at my apartment on wednesday and within two minutes of arriving like came up with like 11 rows i was like this is crazy they were feedback right positive feedback like i came from notes it wasn't positive but it was like to enhance because i was trying eyebrow tinting and i just you know i have a strong stance on that it was constructed was it like you were already tinting it or you were thinking of i had gotten it tinted and he's like you look fucking crazy okay got it got it it's a mob life special like she looked like they were drawn on he's like i'm glad you're experimenting but i wish you wouldn't have if you need someone who's like like i will say like the bitchy gays in my life that like tell me things aka like my mom my aunt and one of my best friends and the bitchy gays in my life my mom my dad my grandma my three cousins my cousin my aunt my third grade teacher all these gay guys in my life so i had this wig this curly wig that i like saw my friend have so i got the wig so i'm like wearing it in videos like whatever i post a video of like influencer going to coachella and then my aunt responds to my story being like lol keep the wig at home though i said ah i said okay diva like my aunt just like roasting me so that I like tell my best friend being like can you believe what my aunt said and she was like yeah about that she said yeah I was gonna say something and I said so what the fuck she was like yeah I knew you were taking risks but then you started putting it in videos and I was like so I'm surrounded like who needs enemies I have friends watching me self-sabotage family friends being like take that chop shit right well I had a really specific incident I'm like I do think I'm bringing it up okay that's okay but please about bitchy guy and why it's so important okay so I have a girl that's been my life for a very long time and her whole life her makeup has been lackluster she the way she applies foundation it's in layers and you can kind of like see like a sediment layer that you cut in half you're like oh my god you can't cut it in half like you can see the layers of the rock it's not in a mean way it truly honestly because she's a gorgeous girl like sedimentary rock is so like you could crack it open it yeah you can see it's like oh there's a fossil this girl found it I feel like she can feel this I feel like right now she's like walking down the street and like a sharp pain in her chest she just tripped she doesn't know why well and I thought it was in my head and but then I brought it up to her friend from college and her friend from college is like you notice that too because it's like and she's like you don't know how many conversations I've had about this in the past like people talk about it because she's a she's a really pretty girl but she truly is like she is mogging herself or she's like she's yeah um chopping herself up with it honestly well I feel like some people have like foundation blindness oh and that's clinical well there's no blush and or contour involved she's from New York I'm not I can't say many more details than that I don't know I'm like well in Texas it's really quite bad especially in middle school and high school because we're still learning the skill set right but foundation was like very important also 2015 2016 we were really doing the whole thing eyebrows and I'll never forget this girl Rachel on my dance team who did bronzer in a way that is like it's as if it was eyebrow pencil oh and like nobody like none of us felt like on the dance team we could tell her but the assistant dance director that had just started doing it was like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh my god I'm like oh that year and was like kind of confrontational more so than any other woman who has ever been in the space pulled Rachel to the side and said honey we can't let this happen and she actually helped her out you need that my whole he saved her life with the story if I can just I'll wrap mine up really quick sorry sorry I wanted to tell one in the middle a little bottle episode for Amelia so but I it's like this is like a while ago but I met her and I and there was this guy immediately confrontational with me oh and and then I figured out like confrontational and then I was like oh he's gay so he's like a bitchy gay guy but not delivering truth and the whole point of keeping that bitchy gay guy around you is because yes there's a sacrifice of your self-esteem but also the truth is there as well and I think that's what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to and if he's only gonna give you one out of two mama leave him leave him mama wait okay now let's diagnose this bitchy gay situation because neville von bitch oh okay because you want me to bring it back or what city oh no no it was actually your situation like well there's a story of 2022 or 2023 pride where I was at the soho I keep on mentioning so houses if I'm a membership I like we used to work there and then I have a membership is there a code like we can send people to you yeah it's chops it's like that girl's foundation right it's like you can't you can see the fossils mama well yeah I can't legally respond to this regarding so house however yeah um so I was at 2023 pride so house me packing um one of my gay guy friends like asked me to like bring him as a plus one he comes from dc period fine so then we're all there and it's just like me and like a soho house like and the rooftop because it was pride it was like they had they had um what they're doing I didn't know they're like dark rooms at the soho no no no it was like sasha colby was performing and so it was like gonna be a fun thing so anyways I'm ordering a sandwich that has like beef in it strike one like so god forbid a girl takes a risk on a hot day like move and then like the server like brings a sandwich and then like three gay guys I kid you not look at me and they're like did you order that and I said yeah and then they were like are you gonna eat it I was like um yeah I was planning on it and then they were like okay and then they literally just like turned away like on their heel like swiveled on their heel walked away I was when you get an okay that's like and that's not okay like that's not okay literally like had like one piece of salt I'm like gupping it like by the hour and then my friend gave me a sasha colby steak sandwich the sasha colby steak sandwich like special and then I literally like my friend hands me the guy who like I brought hands me an after all spritz and then I take like a big gulp and then he was like oh you can barely taste the molly I said huh like this place sucks that classic molly steak sandwich combo exactly so I was just like I don't know if there were truths there but I mean I learned a lot that day yeah I did it's good to be held accountable oh my god I know it's too much they're trying to knock you out girl okay but okay yes yes okay back to the episode in case people hear about that but um this is like it is we're talking about the episode no we are we are yes it's like a time I do want to talk about kerry miranda and charlotte power walking in ways I didn't even know girls could do oh the strutting or the faking of the orgasm oh yes did you real talk about a fake orgasm the ophthalmologist I when miranda goes it's the ophthalmologist I used to fake orgasms with oh yeah they run into him right I'm like right of course miranda he's sprinting backwards to talk to them and she's like yeah away from me yeah and then they're all stretching right they're all stretching kerry needs a smoke break do any of them work like they have jobs but like not really we don't talk about that yeah we don't talk about that it's very inappropriate do any of us work there we go right like right hot calling kettle hot fucking creeps it was a weekend they started being like when you're single on the weekend you power walk in central park with your single lady friends right right right we all by the way we all do that we all work we all work Charlotte is like you really broke up with the ophthalmologist because he didn't make you orgasm orgasms don't send you valentine's cards they don't hold your hand during a sad movie right and this made me think of like oh my god this was made before Miley Cyrus released flowers which is when women of Gen X found out they could buy themselves flowers but like Charlotte's proving like she didn't know she could buy herself a card back then wait you are okay you're a cultural anthropologist I just want to wake that up for everybody wake it up we're woke oh we're woke we're up we're up this episode walks in Miley could run what pisses me off more than even a fake orgasm it's like obviously a marathon runner is going to bring up a human marathon right god forbid god forbid oh my god I know he's like are you kidding me I ran a marathon it's like this is still the same after 30 years like yeah it's like you're firing me something's never changed I ran a marathon bitch yeah the first marathon was a life and death situation to save the people of Athens is that true yes what the the Romans were attacking oh my god or kind of a group I can't really kind of remember off the top of my head marathon Greece that's Greece and then a man ran 26 point miles right right right to Athens and he is marathon a city name it's a city name in ancient Greece oh my god like they didn't teach history at my school panthenon marathon no no yes talking about history but guess what he told the message and then he died because there's so it was so much on his body wait I want to cry and I'm sort of like that's like the full story but it's my story that is so that's actually really important I did not know this so I guess like that's why people think it's such a big deal but to me it's like okay but now girls are doing ultras I wish those girls would die what's an ultra marathon no I'm kidding please ultras like they're gonna have to like a hundred miles yeah mama you know at the end of the day it is like since I moved here and have seen the marathons I'm like oh so I could do it oh really just because I'm like well some people don't even train I'm like well yeah I'd have to walk and it would take seven hours but I would I would do it yeah like walk up like Bronx to Ridgewood literally are you doing it all I'm doing season five episode one of Broad City just for fun right there we go you know every time you run a marathon little holes develop in your heart which can heal but if you run them too too often then those wait you really don't run them on marathons great but you're at your prime in your 30s as a woman so you actually have time my friend as if I'm in my 30s no I said you have time oh perfect my last thing about marathons is that my really close friend Gabby ran the marathon in Jersey City and placed third in women's and ran a seven minute 30 something second are you kidding she's crazy 26.2 times she did that 26.2 times she ran like the marathon like three and a half hours or something crazy I was just like, okay. - And you know her. Like, that's one of my really good friends. Well, you don't know her anymore because she's ran away. She ran away. She just kept on running. I'm like, doesn't that take years of practice? But she, like, runs. She's the type of person that runs, like, 10 miles for fun. Okay. Like, she's a runner. She's a track star. Oh, my God. Well, clearly, these girls are not running for fun. Right. They're not. Because they are in pain the whole time. They need – Carrie needs a smoke break from walking too much. Well, I miss when, like, women were, like, all in, like – I just – I look at Lisa Vanderpump, and she was the most gorgeous woman ever alive, and she never even touched a weight. Oh, is that a thing? Yes. And the curviest woman to ever exist. Well, no, I don't want to glorify that because, ladies, let's not die of osteoporosis at a young age. Wake that up, Evan. Now what? You're going to say Lisa Vanderpump's going to die at a young age. I didn't understand the implications I was implying. Yeah, work on that bone density. Like, bone density is high. We have until we're 30, ladies, to get as much calcium and, like, hit workouts in. So our bones can remain strong. Oh, my God. Wait. I have to – Oh, shit. Oh, my God. I want to feel it. Wait, your job. Oh, my God. Audio listeners. Audio listeners. She's a power lifter. It's, like, hot Pilates, hot yoga. What's your go-to? My go-to is not – No, it's called Yobike. Shout out. I went to Yobike every day for a year. Wait, shut up. Oh, my God. Do you do Inferno hot Pilates? Obviously, I do Inferno hot Pilates. I love it. I love it. It's, like, last – yesterday, I did, um, whatever. Classic hot yoga. 109-degree room. No. I was like, well, now you're burning me alive. You ever do 26 and 2s in a hot room? 26 and 2s? I think it was a 26 and 2 in the hot room yesterday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just, like, slow. And then, like, and then you have to, like, do the Shavasana. And then I was, like, lying on the ground, and the ground was so hot. Like, everything was so hot. And you're sweating so much that you start slipping and – Literally slipping. Like, he's trying to, like, do that, like, that thing. I'm like, girl, I'm slipping and slapping. The girl Kate at the front hasn't even, like, nodding her forehead. Literally, everyone's just like – She's like, I think I'm going to change it to moon, y'all. It's like, what the hell? Oh, my God, you get it. You literally get it. Oh, my God, you go to the green point one. I'm sad they didn't have workout classes and sex in the city. Like, that really could have been a place to explore. I guess they go to yoga. They go to yoga, but it's – She fucks that guy, or she tries to fuck the guy who – Oh, my God, my – You celebrate. That episode was so funny to me when she's like, you're hard. He's like, I know. Anyways. He's like, I know. Have you guys ever, like – And, obviously, while I know your answer, but have you – She gets back with the eye doctor, and she's been faking orgasms, but they're all kind of destroyed by the revelation that in their 30s, they got to stop – Lying. They got to stop playing. Yeah, exactly. So, she just sits there, mute, as he is – Like, just smiling, like – He's hitting a six octave. Like, he's doing it all, girl. He's doing the runs. And then she breaks the news to him that maybe every woman he's ever been with has never actually had a true orgasm around him. Right. And I'm wondering, like, how – How correct is that? How accurate are the stats for you girls? Oh, in terms of, like, lying? And do you feel comfortable even approaching – I feel like most girls don't orgasm during penetrative sex. So, I'm pretty sure they're always lying. Always – Well, it's not even, like – Well, for me, I'm like, firstly, no, bad boy. But, also, I don't like the pressure. There's just – Like, I get, like, very, like, pressure, like, stage fright almost. Like, sometimes they're, like, so adamant about giving me an orgasm. Right. And I'm like, just you being, like, adamant about it and wanting this, like, end result is stressing me out. Right. Like, I need to be, like – Like, I need to be, like, either, like, outer body but, like, in a chill way or, like, I don't know, like, this one guy who's older. He was in his 40s and, like, we were seeing each other and he got so woo-woo. Like, he started playing, like, tantric. Kind of like the episode, like, tantric, like – He was doing his own Yobike. His own Yobike on his pussy. It's higher than 109 degrees in there, girl. There we go. There we go. Like, literally – 26 and 2. 26 and 2. He was just, like, basically trying to, like, try to be, like, a shaman for my puss. Oh, my God. And I was like – He was like, I just, like, you need to stop it. I was like, oh, my God. Well, I totally understand Miranda after two days of tutorials was, like, I can't do this. Like, it's better to lie. Right. I do think it is, like, well, do you want to have a whole conversation? It's, like, Samantha putting off the conversation of, like, her boyfriend having a tiny dick and her not liking that. She's like, well, if I bring it up, it's going to, like, be a whole thing. It's easier to just go with this for now. Right, right, right. Well, you know, also part of the problem is none of these girls know how to have a conversation. Right. Right. And so they have this pattern where every time they have a conversation, it blows up in their face. They're like, I can't have the conversation. It's going to go bad for me. It's like, well, because you don't know how to communicate. You just keep falling into the same damn hole over and over again. Oh, my God. But God forbid. God forbid. You know, because wins concur to wins. There we go. They compound, mama. They compound. They compound. If you're not making a guy's dick hard, they're tossing you literally in the disposing – the disposable – They're tossing you in the – Disposable. Whatever happens if I live a lugar – Nope, the other one. Veruca Schultz. Sure. Who? She gets put in – From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. She gets put in the squirrel – the trash. Yeah, in the squirrel trash. You're getting tossed in the squirrel trash if you're not making a guy's dick hard. Versus, like, girls for months will have a guy with, like – Girl, because he wants a nut. Right, because he wants a nut. And now, bitch, I can't nut. Anyways. As you were. Anyways. It's good because, you know, nut goes to nut. It's squirrels. It's fun. It's fun. We're having fun. I really do – Okay, so, yeah. So, Miranda's like, yeah, because she's doing an amazing thing. I think part of it is – Part of it is some people, like, those who can't do, teach. And it's like, Miranda can't do, apparently, so she will teach. She will teach. That's the unlimitable truth. I love that he's like, I, of course, know a woman's anatomy. I'm a doctor. And she's like, you're an eye doctor. You're an eye doctor. And he's like, okay, I want to learn. Right. I'm a marathon runner. She's like, do you know where the clitoris is? He's like, yeah. And she's like, well, you're two inches away. Yeah. And he's like – I'm like, I can't believe there's that much room she can work with. Yeah. He's out here, like, rubbing her goddamn knees. He's down at the ankle. He's like, come on, girl. Two inches? Jesus Christ. I don't know that much, but that is crazy. I'm wishing Miranda the best on that whole journey. And I do think this was probably the first episode of television to ever let a girl know this is happening. Right. Every single episode. This is happening to women. This is happening to women nationwide. You guys. Oh, my God. The day has come. The biggest day of our lives. I don't know. 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Paid membership with connected payment account required. See Experian.com for details. Experian. Carrie, of course, is buying more cigarettes post-workout. And she's at the magazine stand. Oh, yeah. All of a sudden, oh, my God. Did they just go live with a photo of her with no makeup smoking? And instead of saying single fabulous explanation point, they put single and fabulous question mark? I think you can sue over. That's defamation. I was going to say, like, that's defamation. I'm suing. I didn't approve any of these. Where's my agent? Where's my publicist? All four of them are at the cafe. Like, Charlotte's like, can we sue? And Miranda goes, what? For, like, punctuation? Wait, what is Miranda? No, you got it right. Don't be purposely obtuse. For what? Missed punctuation? Come on. Were you, like, changing your punctuation for the sentence as all they change? That's what I was thinking. Can I sue over that, please? Can I sue over that? Single, fabulous, and fucked is what Samantha says. I mean, you can sue for whatever you want in this country. Miranda's actually a bad friend because it's, like, it's so funny because in this show, doctors don't know anatomy and lawyers don't know law. And that's a beautiful truth. I think a lot of, that's still true, I think. It has to be. It has to be. That's the way people are operating in this world. It's like, what are you doing here? But, yeah, it's fucked up. I would have sued. But the thing is, like, people always say, like, I'm going to sue. And then it's like, wait, I'm, like, lazy. Like, I have things to do. Well, you need a pro bono lawyer. Oh, okay. I could do that. Who only takes money if you win. I went on a handshake with a pro bono lawyer. A handshake or a handshake? Handshake. I don't remember almost anything. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's probably obsessica. And you're like, sue. Was it trauma or alcohol? You know, sometimes the winner takes it all. Okay, ABBA. Okay, ABBA down. Like, if I connect it to a pop song, it's fun and not scary. Okay. No, okay. So, Single, Fabulous, and Fuck, not after this picture I won't be. They have a whole discussion. They're reading the magazine. And they're like, I'm not miserable. Like, it's cool to be single. Like, we feel good. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them. And then, like, they all get quiet and Carrie is picking up on the, like, unspoken communication that they're all like, am I a loser because I'm single in my 30s? These are my affirmations walking down Bedford. I'm like, it's okay. I'm single. I deserve to be alive. I'm always like, I don't want to be a mom. And that baby isn't awesome. And that baby isn't super awesome. It's like, okay. I know. I mean, it's jarring when you're in your 30s. God, that's going to happen soon. I think, like, 30s are over. 30s are over. No, 30s are in. Like, no one's like, no, that's what I mean. I'm like, you shouldn't really, like, the 30s are in your 20s. They have to be. Exactly. 32 is, like, the youngest age, I think. It's so chic. 32. 32. My parents got married. Really? Okay. Or they had me at 32. Oh, God. There we go. There we go. I am really behind the eight ball. Do you think it's better to fake it or be alone? We asked all our guests this. Rapid fire time. Rapid fire time. Literally, I got so, like. And I mean, in terms of orgasms or entire relationships, because Charlotte's, of course, faking it with the actor, faking the intimacy of, like, I like him. Right, right, right. No, you have to be alone. Yeah. It's just, I'm like, I got to perform different nights a week. I got to be on podcasts. I got to perform, perform, and then I've got to perform at home. It's so funny. I perform different nights of the week. Tuesday and maybe a Friday. Sometimes Sunday at five. I was about to say, like, every day. I was like, no, that's not true, is it? That's not true, is it, Ellen? No, but, yeah, it's just, oh, nothing worse. No. Don't be alone. Well, and then, of course, Samantha is hanging out with the salsa guy. Right. Who is future fakey, which is the term we use now. Future fakey. But back then, he's a wee guy, which means he says, we are going to spend the summer together. We're going to do this. We're going to do this to get in Samantha's pants. Meanwhile. No, no. He used this. He used a West Hampton ring. East Hampton. Oh, sorry. Not West Hampton. God forbid. I know. Not the first stop on the train line. No, no, no. Keep going. Uh-uh. But then she gets stood up. So weird. And realizes her life's been a lie. And then she becomes a shell of herself immediately. Oh, my God. I'm, like, also, like, how is your, like, whole, like, disheveled-ass hair and, like, eye liner smudge? Like, how did this all happen? She immediately, like, she drops the wine. It's, like, sobbing. Like, the melodrama of it was crazy. And they have to, like, distinctively say, like, this Pakistani man comes in. It's like, okay. It's one of the best scenes ever. It's like an emo kiss. Well, she has a whole bottle episode. Honestly, she's at the damn restaurant. And to be stood up, especially Samantha. Samantha. She has no armor. She doesn't have her book. She doesn't have, like, anything. And the bread. Like, Sasha could know where they just had her, like, the bread was all picked apart but not really, like, truly eaten. So sad. When you're alone in a restaurant and all there is is bread, it's, like, you start, like, building snowmen out of it. Totally, right. You're, like, become, like, an avant-garde sculpture artist. We have anybody that's stood up? Oh, my God. I've famously been stood up recently. Oh, my God. That was the funniest text of all time, actually. Never mind. I actually don't think that counts as being stood up because he never confirmed. Yes, he did. Amelia, the night before he confirmed. Yes. Saying what? Don't you feel like you have to text the day of, like, are we still on? They have to be like, yeah, otherwise you don't go. No, no, no. Can I explain the situation? There's actually, this is a really important thing. I actually want viewers to kind of weigh in. Yeah, viewers weigh in. Comment this because it's actually been a fight for Amelia and I. Okay, wow. So, Sunday, 5 p.m. was our initial date plan. We've been texting for a month. We text every single day. A month, on Hinge. Oh, a month. And we've been actively texting. Like, it's not just, like, one-offs. Like, active texting. Sunday, finally, after a month of us meeting, talking to apps, we confirmed for Sunday at 5. Yeah. Sunday at 3 p.m., I go, are we still on? Lit. I go, oh, I go, how are you? What are you doing? What are you up to? He's like, I'm going to get wine with my friends soon. I was like, okay. 3 p.m., like, maybe that's a quick thing and then he can get drinks with me still at 5. Then 5 p.m. comes around. I'm like, just got home from Italian dinner with my parents. And I text him, like, oh, we're still on. He goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I just got to wine. I was like, okay, fine. He's like, we can either do it later tonight or tomorrow at 7 p.m. I go, tomorrow at 7 p.m., fine. So, I'm like, confirmed. Also, annoying for him to just be so kind of, like. Laze. Laze about it. But he said, we can either do tomorrow afternoon or at 7, and you said 7? I did 7 p.m., same place, same day. Oh, same day. I said, next day, same place, next day, 7 p.m., confirmed, he was confirmed. 6.30 the next day. He says, confirmed? Yeah. What does he say? On Sunday, he says, confirmed Sunday, or Monday, 7 p.m. Great. And then on the day of, at 6.30, I just follow up being like, are we still on? No response. Come on. And I walk, I live a few blocks, so I go to the bar, wait for him, because I'm like, you know, people are not always on their phone. It's a few blocks down. Right, a few blocks. Okay, I still was stood up, okay? Just as a semantic. Sorry I didn't go to fucking Midtown East to be stood up, and I did it near my own home. God forbid I stood up in my neighborhood. Wait, so what did he have to say for himself? Well, there's a whole saga, because I, the story goes, it's like I kept texting him after the date, like pretending I was still at the bar, being like, are you on your way? Next day, being like, did I close my tab? And then I think I'm sending voicemails from comedy shows being like, we're all talking about you. So then he finally responds being like, sorry, I didn't know what to say. Are you kidding me? And then he sends a purple heart emoji. I was like, okay. Not the purple heart. Are we in war? And he's like, oh, he was like, oh, I think the first one was like, you should, I was like, oh, wait, I'm on the bar now. He's like, thank God for small business owners. And then he said the other part. I was like, kill yourself. But then, so he sent that. I was like, okay, whatever. I kind of felt bad, because I did like make a big deal of it online and to him on over text. So I saw him on the M train. Wow. And I was listening to Fame Sick. Oh my, mind you, yes, mind you. Right at the end, chapter, like the second to last chapter, and Lena's talking about, you can always, you can always marry a new man. Right. You can always start, you can always start a new job or apologize to someone. And I look up on the M train. I'm literally looking down, like listening. I look up and he's holding onto the pole. I'm like, oh God. In front of you. In front of me. That's insane. As Lena Dunham's word, so you can apologize. I'm like, so I go up to him. Wow. Hey, I'm so sorry about the incident. And he's like, what? Because he has his headphones in, so he takes his headphones out. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like, I took it too far. Like, I shouldn't have done that. He goes, oh, it's okay. I go, I hope, I hope everything's good with you. He goes, yeah, everything's good. Right now, I think my roommate's grooming me. But other than that, I'm fine. And I was like, okay. And then the subway doors opened and he got out. What is going on? I didn't think that was going to be the conclusion of the story. I was like, I don't know. And then I was with my friend on Instagram that knew him. And I was like, well, like, why do you think this guy set me up? I can't imagine. And then she's like, always on his Instagram story, his close friends, he's posting big things happening soon and then never post anything again. Oh my God. He's just like literally in the middle of the night. In his own world. He's like, wait, what are you talking about? Okay, whatever you say, girl. You're like, it's eating you up for months. But no hate, no hate, honestly. His relationship to reality and time is different than ours. Yeah, but I was stood up. Yeah. Just to clarify and we feel convinced everyone at this table. You know what I do. That was a, thank God you made up I'm like, just because I was the uglier one, I had to come, like, be an administrative assistant following up eight times. I don't think so. I've never been stood up or stood up anyone. But sometimes it's like, I should have instead of been like, I don't want to see you again. You know what I mean? And I would have killed for there to be a Pakistani busboy that gave me a kiss after that. God forbid. Like, love you. And I'm going to September 20th probably a bit more. Right. Yeah. Right. Fuck. I mean, these are, yeah, being stood up is like evil. I think it's like, I think it's an evil thing to do. It is quite evil, yeah. It has, it's, God forbid. This is not real wood. Oh. If I didn't like, properly do this, okay, nothing here is real wood. Okay. Well, yeah, let's pray against that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. We will. Yeah. So I do feel bad for Samantha. You're mad. Right. Well, she just went from a tiny dick to being stood up. It's like, how much harm could a girl take? It's a lot, apparently. It's a lot. That's what I favorite Samantha outfits. But she, she bounces back. The white jacket, the white fur jacket. Yeah, gorgeous. I mean, obviously PETA, but girl, PETA, piss off. Because that is a cute little jacket. Obviously PETA, but PETA piss off. Also, wait, what was it? Was that the same episode where they had the red all over her when she goes to the, Oh, that was like last episode or something. Oh, the episode before that. But I'm like, this is a beautiful woman. Like, no makeup sometimes. I'm like, she's so pretty. No, literally. The way we're like, carry company. It kind of looks hot in Omega. No, Carrie looks good. Like, really, like, pretty. Carrie looks really good. It's all scrunched. Okay, just to close out the episode. So, Miranda. We didn't really talk about Charlotte. Yeah, yeah, we're getting there. Oh, sorry. So, Samantha is like, I'm not going to. It's better to be alone than to fake it. Right. Faking, like, wanting to hook up with the busboy or whatever. And then Carrie is like, oh, my God, I feel like a leper being single. What am I supposed to do? And then she kind of, like, finishes her journey being like, I need to own being single. And she's like, have I been faking that I like being single? She goes another step where she's like, I didn't fake being happy, but am I faking being happy about being alone? Right. And then she's like, I'm going to own it. I'm going to sit outside and drink wine alone. No devices. And own it. And that's. You don't have any. She doesn't have any to it. I'm like, she didn't even bring her iPad, you guys. Like, I swear to God, she didn't have her Oura Ring, her Apple Watch, nothing. She didn't have any of that shit. Right. So, that's that. And then, of course, Charlotte, we've touched on the fact that she was faking the intimacy with the handyman guy. Because she's like, he's great. And Carrie is like, can you really have an entire relationship based on him knowing how to cock your tub? Right. Which I'm also like, well, yes, but no. I'm like, no, no. And then there's Charlotte being like, yeah. We're all on board. And then we're like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. I mean, hers is like the most kind of just matter of fact, like circumstantial. Like, everyone else felt like really like kind of screwed over in some way. And hers was kind of like, you know, like two ships passing. Like, they even said it like in another life, like they could have been together forever. Well, it's like so, like, honestly, Adam Driver's character in Girls. Like, someone who's very handy and an actor. Right. And he's not really employed, so he has a lot of tools. I love when they say that. A lot of tools. Right, right, right. So, he has a lot of tools. But people aren't fixing things like guys. Like, also when she says manly, whatever, there's like, you can have your own things. But, like, I don't know. There is something about, like, a guy who's a man. My friend. Wait, wait. Pause. Take space for that. Pause. Don't dare say a word. There's something about a guy who's a man. Yes. Let's hold space for that. Let's hold space. I just want to say that this Monday, my friend that's a girl has a friend that's a guy. Who's a man. Who's a man. Who's a man. Who's a man. Well, well. Let's hear more about the story. Who said, I will come to your house and help you install your AC, of course. And I said, I didn't even know they invented guys like this anymore. That's so hot. And he, she wanted it to happen that night so she could sleep with the AC, but he wanted to go home. And so, she's like, you're not going to come the next morning. And he's like, I'll Venmo you $100 as a deposit and you can keep it if I don't come tomorrow. He showed up bright and early, installed that. I'm fucking wet, bro. No, I was like, Issa, this is crazy. Wait, Issa, oh. Issa Medina. Issa, that's my neighbor. How do I not know about this? That's hot. You need this guy to come over and install your AC. Yeah. But you know what's completely sickening? Huh? One of my friends who's my fake boyfriend in my head sometimes, you know, everyone has that. Everyone has it. But he said, oh, I'll install your Tushy for you because I got one for free. Oh my God. Can you install mine? I wait five to six months later, that Tushy's just sitting in a box. Me? I'm in the exact same position. Free Tushy. Free Tushy. And where is it going to go? And who's going to put it there? I know how to do it, but I don't want to. I've installed and uninstalled a Tushy five times. Oh my God. It's just like. One time we lost. I'm talking about Amelia, by the way. We lost our. Security deposit. Security deposit because I tried to take the Tushy out, but the plastic like wouldn't work. So I just drilled a hole in like. She like, she truly like butts and nuts took apart the toilet to get the Tushy off. To get the Tushy off. I was like, okay, so I got a free Tushy, but you also owe me like $500. We should have left the Tushy. 3K later, girl. 3K later. The down payment. Gone. I'm saying 500 like in 1942. But yes. Anyways. That was so funny. Single and fabulous. They are. We had to talk about Bradley Cooper and we did not talk about the singer. Wait. What's the teacher from Glee? I know the teacher. Will something. Will Schuster? Yeah. What's his name? Matthew Morrison. I literally have to pause. I said Matthew Morrison. No. Okay. So this party. Carrie is there. Carrie is there. And she goes, oh, there's only. Stanford's like, I got to go. It's 2 a.m. You're drunk. You are the tortini now. She goes, no, we could have fun. I find the one straight guy here. And I don't know where Bradley Cooper like splits the gay guys like the Red Sea. And then the gayest bitch of them all comes walking down. He's like, you want to go see my Porsche? As they like smash into girls at Beauty Bar. By the way, they're at Beauty Bar. Oh, my God. Is that? Right across the street from UCB. They're across the street from UCB at Beauty Bar. There we go. Trouble. Nothing happened in there. I'll tell you. Is that still a place? Beauty Bar? Uh-huh. I went to a birthday party there when I met a magician. Really? Like as in he was doing magic or he happened to be a magician and he was a guy. There's always gay guys at Beauty Bar. Our friend Kira said, this guy knows magic. You got to meet him. Oh, my God. Well, he wasn't a magic with words because he just stuttered, stuttered, stuttered. Oh, my God. I'm kidding. I didn't talk to him. Poor magician. He's like there in his home. He's like listening to the podcast. He's like an avid listener. No, but then I'm gagged at Bradley Cooper's on my screen right now. And then he goes, he's looking cute. He pulls over. I need my cigs. And he comes over with the magazine that Keri is on. Is this you? Is this you? And then she's like, and I had to wonder, is it me? I'm still young, still desirable. I will never wind up alone. And if I sleep with this man, it will only be, it will be the first time I sleep with someone to prove my own. That's the first time that she's doing that? I mean, did she miss seasons one through? But then she, she hops out of the car. Even when he says no, she's like, fine. She jumps out of the car. She walks away. She gets her, her brunch. The concept of a guy and a convertible being like, you can't get out of here. I'm not opening the door. She's like, okay, we'll go out the whole rest of the car. Bradley Cooper being like, you can't go. And she's like, fine. Hop. Literally like hop. So ridiculous. But then you're gagged and you're like, oh my God, it's Bradley Cooper. And then out of nowhere, Will Schuster comes to screen as a waiter. One line. One line. I said, wow. No, I didn't even see that. And I watched the episode three times. Really? I paused it because at first I thought it was Michael Rappaport. No shade to Matthew Morrison. And then I like rewind and I was like, Will fucking Schuster. Will fucking Schuster. His debut role. His debut role. He didn't even get to say it. It like makes me sad. How old is he? What the hell? He was probably like 24 and 25. Oh, he's been a teacher in 2010. He got his SAG card. Got his SAG card. He was probably so excited. He was like, I'm on Sex and the City. I booked Sex and the City. Well, that would be fucking huge. Well, you know what? Let's find out what you could possibly book on Sex and the City because we have a question for you. Oh. Girl. What girl are you? Cool segue. Cool segue. That's so fucking fun. Such a good segue. Okay. Who am I? Actually, I was thinking, um, oh God. Two hours later, I'm like, um. Okay. So here's the thing. There's a cariness in the way that like I don't have like a real life experience. I don't have like a real life experience. I don't have like a real job, but I'm like making my way and I like nice things and I get jerked around by guys that I think are hot. Lucky. You have a job. You have a job. I have a job. I have a job. Um, and like her pick me isms, like these are like the pick me isms are like things that I've had to like as a Libra, like really like you just have to train yourself to be like, no, bad girl. Like bad, bad, bad. You're treating yourself like a dog. Like I'm like, I have like a rubber band. I'm like. Yeah. Because I'm like, girl, you bought a steak sandwich for a reason. I'm like, bad, bad, bad. Um, so I guess like there is that like the care. I mean, she's, there's always like with the steaks. It's like, Oh, the gay by party with the steak sandwich. Sasha Colby. Girl, what girl am I? Steak sandwich girl. Steak sandwich, Sasha Colby, Molly, April Spence. Um, so yeah, I guess, but it's like being a Carrie is like not who you want to be. I'm like, no, you're like totally Carrie. And that's a cool one to be. Fuck. Who else could I be? Do you think? Can you see me as anyone else? No, that sucks. She's the star, I guess. But it's like at what cost? Right. Carrie girl. Fuck. Except like I'm God forbid I rebuke any big in my life. You're Carrie without big. I'm a Carrie without big. But like if I meet a Libra man, I get I'm Carrie. I'm like, I'm like, girl, I'm your big. I'm like, you're Evan's literally my big. I'm just like, Oh my God. My roommate was like, would you have gone? I would have gone on the trip, the Barbados or the season one finale trip finale. But I was also like, this guy is like basically said that he does not like you this entire show. Yeah. But it's like, girl, take the free vacay. You're in credit card debt. She's so dramatic. She's like, actually, I can't do it. He's like, OK. Girl, just go to the beach with her on the beach. It's like this whole show is about like, how much can a woman use her body? Get a free trip out of it. Right. Also, I don't know. It's on. Sure. But like Natalie, you're going to have to cut that. But some girl was like on some girl was like on TikTok or something being like men are not ATM. And I was like, since when they are ATM. I know their number. I'll tell you. There you go. I know the pin number. Sixty nine. Right here. Whatever that is. Numbers. Not you. You're sixty nine. Sixty nine. Sixty nine. Girl, what girl are you this week? I like honestly McCary as well. I would absolutely find myself in a situation where I'm being roasted by a magazine. And I thought I had good intentions. Right. That has happened to you. Been shrinking and end up in someone's like convertible. in a crazy situation but it is like i so the most carry thing i will say the most carry thing about me is like oh we're back to you right well yeah i'm like i'm gonna say that i guess we'll just make it back to me you're no carry what are you talking about but i will say like the thing of and i made several videos about this like going to a bar and pretending like you're not there to like flirt with somebody is so me like me with a book and like reading with a glass of wine and i'm like yeah i'm here for myself i just be there by myself because i don't want to text somebody and talk to them right it's just kind of like i'm here yeah but i'm on my phone yeah i'm like on my phone i'm listening to a podcast are you ever talking to the bartender no okay i have a very cold and unwelcoming energy about me here comes the tangent girl what girl am i i'm also carry this week you guys because i'm single i'm fabulous and my relationship with alcohol we need to worry about it sometimes no i was watching the scene where carrie's black i was like i know that girl i was like oh no why do i relate to this right that was so amelia omg i mean alcohol is back it's back and it's like you think i think the girls no one else has had that yet alcohol's back you're breaking the story i'm breaking the story like so well even like i went on a date last night okay hello wait i did too do you okay you guys both went on dates last night i had a good date okay sorry nothing wait sorry i'm being a carry go no no you're being a girl oh no i'm saying only okay because like what's my thing but the point is is that it was great but the point is that like he's like sober and then like he chose like a non-alcoholic drink and then like the bartender they're like whatever the waitress came took our drinks and then he mentioned it and she was like you know that has no alcohol right and he was like yeah i know and he was like she was like okay and then just like took the menus and i was like that's so funny normally like you say a mocktail and they're like sure but like for the first time people are being like are you sure like no whiskey no no no vodka for you tonight people who are sober have so much time to date though that's why when you're going on dates they're always sober because what bar were you at i was at hotel del mano are you a hotel del mano yeah i love that and they couldn't and they were i mean no one by the way no one's ever got a mocktail at hotel del mano well maybe that's the big that's the big thing they're like do you know where we are is that the one in williamsburg yeah it's my favorite like first date spot i went on two really it's there that's where i got the duchess your improv troops name i got the drink the duchess it's one of the on their cocktail menu because my friends are in an improv troupe called the duchess and i thought it'd be fun this is amazing lore like the duchess gay gay guys right yeah well they definitely came before us oh wait this is this is the same this is yeah you've done you've done the show famously if like duchess fans know this and uh anybody who ever like see me perform you always make a show the same day that i have my solo show mind you i only had three solo show dates and every single time the duchess is like oh we're so sorry but we've booked you no you have but i'm like oh my god you're like you're you're separating the bands you know like there's people that want to see my show and they definitely want to see the duchess and now they have to choose there's only like about 50 people that want to see comedy in new york so it's like god forbid we split them in half split them in half it's a bad it's a bad y'all need to talk more let's not split the room y'all really need to save each other's numbers for once for once we have to wrap up the episode right we've been here for a segment 17 hours mind you like the sun has set it's time to get carried away as if we haven't been carried away this whole time well don't be a bitch i'm not being a bitch i'm just being myself this week i'm getting carried away with why does no one salsa dance anymore these four girls were salsa dancing the night away samantha's going on a date with a man who owns the salsa like it's like if i told any of you guys like if i was like oh yeah i went salsa dancing last night y'all would look at me like i'm fucking nuts and crazy and weird and it's like can we normalize salsa it also made me think of because bradley cooper's in the episode um that amazing movie with him and jennifer lawrence where they ballroom dance a star oh wait what i'm thinking jennifer lawrence are similar guys i get it but and then i was like they had so much fun dancing like i never get to amelia i'd like i love you with so much my heart but you do live across the street from a salsa studio do you oh my gosh and you know what okay the signs are always there and people are there every night it's like i was too like it's a full-on salsa studio that is not going on this like it is like really thriving like i can knock the class out like that's so true so that's how i'm gonna land the plane on my carried away oh my god okay okay interesting it's like it's so um this could be outside outside so carried away is like something that you're thinking about or something that you're kind of like getting lost in yeah like this week i'm getting lost in it's we like we've done too much to the nose i've i had if i had really like observed sex in the city and taking that in as a cultural landscape of beauty i would have never touched my nose and i got that nose job i got a nose job there's so many beautiful noses 2021 during covid oh my god for coming at it um but there's so many beautiful noses in this show like people really all sizes all shapes and there's all kinds of beauty and and it's like ultimately is there okay like a lot of men have like very significant noses on sex in the city do they okay yes you're right i'm thinking about uh in this specific episode we think about miranda's guy but every episode there's a guy with a big nose oh i like that i like a big nose uh-huh and now they're kind of culturally coming back in yeah like i was even looking at pluma wool ad and a girl had a big nose oh yeah it made me suicidal okay that is so fascinating okay well i'm getting carried away with so eye contact so think about it right i had i feel like there's a lot of really great eye contact you haven't looked at this one time i'm like um so i'm like bringing back eye contact and like especially from like a flirting like i recently i started feeling a little bit more bashful with eye contact like you know what i mean in this show it's all about like seeing a guy or seeing someone across the room and like kind of like that first interaction and then they like find each other but then i was leaving the metropolitan bar i was like doing some like also fake mcgala thing with um ben you know so anyways i'm like walking back and then there's this really sexy guy outside of the fire department i think he was like an off-duty firefighter i was like you were at a gay bar girl i was at a gay bar you're like i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this but walking back home so there's like the sexy off-duty firefighter outside of the fire or whatever and i'm like walking past and then i dare myself to kind of just like maintain eye contact and he's smoking a cigar and he's so manly and then as i'm like looking at him he like tilts his head up a little bit and then takes like a big fat like swig of his cigar and like blows it and like we're still staring at each other oh my god and i was so bashful i literally like scurried away like giggling well you just had sex on the street penetrative sex literally don't give it too many ideas he's literally like writing it down as we speak he's like it's gonna be called sos okay we can't you have to stop giving him ideas it's like too good but i was just like what a rush like i was thinking about that eye contact for the next week and now i've been like at bars just like maintaining eye contact a little bit longer with like people smiling like looking at them and maintaining you're gonna say gen z and we're gonna say gen z because people are looking at each other micro um interactions in order to convince someone you're flirting with them to in order for someone to know that you're like flirting with them like people they're so why did why do why have we all seen that fact all the time wait is that a real fact because yeah people are so easily swayed to think that you're not flirting with them and it's also because it's hard to always differ the free engine if someone's like flirting or being friendly right you really need so many signals feel confident in it i know and everyone always eras in the side you're like i said hi to them that's like me putting myself out there and it's like well actually like you literally have to like grab them at the thigh you have to consensually harass people at this point i know i feel like the pendulum will just keep on swinging now everyone's so averse but like i feel just like yeah numerous like eye contact smiling it is like it can get bad well that's a problem or it's like the get carried away about this but it's because old older gay guys it's like they have every boundary but they you will instantly know they're flirting with you or not because they will really grab your penis it's like it's a pretty clear signal that is please don't touch me there like that is my number scare but hello that is my notice but it's the only time i've ever been like yeah they're flirting with me literally um this guy recently whatever like he he won't maybe listen but i met him at this event we've told every secret literally like my mom's baby my social security number i'm like okay but like this guy like i met him at some event and then like he found me on instagram and then we started dming and then he's like now like he was then he started like negging and then he was like oh so also i like posted that post about um like things i would do before like sending a guy a rose on hinge so he knows that like this would annoy me but then he was like so like when were you gonna ask me out for a drink huh i said no i'll leave that to you and then he said what it's 2026 like and i was like i hate when men are this way uh but like you it's like then you give someone like the flirting bone and then they take it and they just fucking like hit you over the head with it no literally i'm like shut the fuck up to use your words again you i'm like so angry that is against the law it's like i'm like that's literally miranda can she super that she's doing that for them to take something you've said and held it against you held it against me right off that's illegal in most of continental u.s i was like you're pissing me off like there needs to just people just need to be normal no i know no one you know what the problem is guys are like not allowed to desire things me becoming man okay now you're just like never get to what anymore no it's just like they're too they're like i need a woman to be like i would die for you before they'll show any amount of interest in you because their egos are so like mind you the woman that would die for them they would never choose like so i'm so guys being mad right that guy is such a man that guy is being mad thank you guys so much for being guys to men uh and listening to this podcast girls rewatch please follow and subscribe we are on instagram we are on tiktok and now we are on sub stack just plug that one more time and rate and review this podcast so you know where can the girls find you oh yes they can find me on instagram and tiktok at apple cider s-a-i-d-u-r um you stole it from cider to brand i'm like right underneath um yes and that's basically she's really funny online you traditional 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