Sex and the City S1E10: “The Baby Shower” with Dana Donnelly

No one tells you that you can't show your boobs at a party one day. You have to enjoy where you're at right now because there is no back. Except if you're a gay guy. So true. And there's no forward, unfortunately. You're just kind of stuck like that. Welcome back to Girls Rewatch, a podcast about girls and girls on TV. I'm Amelia Retaller. And I'm Evan Lazarus. And oh my God, today we are shooting live from Austin, Texas. Hello. With the one and only Dana Donnelly. That's me. Hi, girls. Oh my God. Hey, girl. This is so exciting. I'm so excited to be here. I'm a huge fan. We're huge fans of you. That's something every podcast you have to do the obligatory thing where you go, I'm so excited that you're here. And then you can acknowledge it if you're like a little bit ironic too, which is just so good. I feel like I followed you on Twitter for like my whole life. Thank you so much. You're very young. So that makes sense. I probably have been. I actually was on Twitter since 2009. I was one of the earliest to count. Oh my God. 2009. You're actually the first ever Twitter user. It's true. Some people like grow up and they're like capturing their moments on YouTube. They're like, I want to be an actor one day. Connor Storzun is like, you did that on Twitter. I know. That's wonderful, girl. Thank you so much. You just wanted to short form all your way to the top. Dude. I mean, that's dated a little bit every day. A little bit every day. That's really my life philosophy. It's good. Thank you. Jake Paul. It's everyday bro. Everyday bro. When I heard that, I was like, oh, that's what I've been. Those are the words I've been searching for. Oh my God. I'm glad you found it in him. Yeah. He's brilliant. I mean, Trump, Trump just saying his praises. Oh God. Oh my God. The sweat stains of it all. Don't get into it, girl. I do. I do relate to him in that way. We were, we were just talking to a man yesterday who was like, Bobby Lee has been on every podcast. The only person that's been on more podcasts than him is Trump. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what they said. That's what they said. No. They said, who brings in the most viewers per guest? Oh, when he listens. Yes. When they listen. Who brings in the most listeners? As a guest, Bobby Lee was seven and Trump was number one. Wow. So take it from the top. We are covering season one, episode 10, the baby shower. Hello. Which I don't know if you guys remember this, but this is the famous episode where Charlotte's baby name is stolen and Samantha's like, fuck you, cunt. That's a perfect way to summarize it. Yeah. It's a really, I mean, this is the great episode of what it would mean for these women to get married and to have the children. Yeah. Yeah. And the comparison of it gives me chills, honestly. And we had to bring you on because aren't you engaged? I'm married. You're fully married. Yeah. I fully got married a couple of weeks ago in Vegas. Oh my God. Tell us everything. There's really not that much to tell. I mean, I'm, I'm freaking got married in Vegas. Wow. Renting a dress. Girl, it stays in Vegas. Yeah. I got my dress on newly. Dude. I wish. You know, Vegas weddings are down by 75%. That's crazy. I wonder why. I think weddings in general seem like they're kind of, they're down because the economy shifted to ultra wealthy. So it doesn't cater to the common man anymore. So there's so much less of the, like so much less of the fun things that Vegas would have. It's only catering to like poker players essentially at this point. That makes so much sense. I mean, I always say I'm like, dude, like Vegas is way too expensive for what it is. Yeah. Right. And it's kind of empty now. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I remember going and being like, where are all the people? But you can't go to Luxor and spend like a hundred bucks and get one of the world's craziest rooms, you know? And that, that's not so bad. That's a good tip. You're inside a pyramid. I know. I always, I do think that architecture is inspiring and more city should take inspiration from it. Right. Like why shouldn't you make a pyramid? Yeah. Why? Well, it's a terrible design. Right. Right. There are, there are reasons. Every time I see a sphere building, I'm like, that is so cool. But who is this for? Like, this is. It's really bad actually. Do you think King Tut would have built a pyramid if he had access to the tower? It's a good question. And we're not answering it here. Yeah. But we will talk about it. And that's about my pay grade. Yeah. What's your journey with Sex and the City? So my journey with Sex and the City is I love it. I'm obsessed with it. I watch it all the time. It's one of my like favorite rewatch comfort shows. If I watch it too much though, I do start to like try to dress too much like Carrie Bradshaw. And that's not my body type. You're like, wait, I need to curl my hair today. Right. No, truly. Yeah. But again, my hair is like, I need to curl my hair today. My hair would take so long to curl like that. I freaking wish. It would make me like maybe get like a crazy digital perm or something. I have to be really careful. It's just a slippery slope. No, Carrie Bradshaw. It unlocks something inside of you. Yeah. What do you think? I'm wearing a fucking puka shell necklace and a sailor top and my nipples out. You know, please. I mean, she's really. She really just does like, she dresses the way you feel. Yeah. It's magical. But yeah, I'm obsessed with Sex and the City. I always have been. I loved. I always only ever saw it on the TV. It's like the CBS syndication version. And I don't know if you guys know this. Oh, that's the clean version? It's the clean version, but it's also sped up. Like it's sped up a tiny, tiny bit because it has to fit in the 30 minute block and they have to run their ads. Oh, they're like, we want to wear it. So they speed it up. It's just, I would only knew it from the sped up clean version. You're like, I was watching the 2XV before they invented 2X. I was. For syndication purposes. The bipolar mix. But I remember there was this one episode where Miranda's pregnant and she's walking and her baby bump is like. But big fan. Yes. Come on. Oh my God. I can't believe Miranda gets pregnant at a certain point. I know. Right. I know. Trying to believe it. And Carrie does it. And that's what this episode is about. Speaking of the baby shower. Yeah. Hello. So we walk into this episode. We see Carrie going through a host of invitations, her mail, and she gets confronted with the baby shower, which she said she only goes to for close friends. And then she also like pulls a dick at 27 year olds that are successful. I love that line. I said think about it. It's so funny. Yeah. I mean this whole episode. It's fun watching this episode. It's like so siloed because the jokes per minute are so fast in this one. It's a really funny one. Yeah. It's one of the funniest. Yeah. So we see that sequence and then we're introduced to Lainey at the party. Yes. Oh, and that's where we get the fun really started. I love when they're like. Halloween night. There actually used to be a fifth member, but she's in Connecticut now. And it's like Lainey and them go way back for some reason. Lainey's yeah. International party girl. Works in AR. She has this amazing trick where she pulls her boobs out at a party. Yes. And everyone looks at her while she does it. And all the girls are kind of like in this weird pattern where they absolutely hate her, but are obsessed with kind of her energy and her vision. And it's fun to watch that in an individual. Yeah. Lainey reminds me of this girl from my high school that everybody like made fun of, but they low key respected. Yeah. Please. It's always those girls. I think in high school everyone, you know, talks poorly about like the slutty girl, but that always is the girl that everyone low key is idolizing because it. Is so, you know, especially like as someone who's very inhibited, it's crazy to watch someone at least perform a lack, complete lack of inhibition. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all these people at the party staring at her kind of judgmentally are also like, whoa. They're fascinating. It is. It's brave. It's inspiring. But I was also thinking about, I'm like, no, if you're someone who you don't know how to get attention and then you see someone just like get attention like that. It is. So like what? Whoa. Of course, Samantha has a major issue with Lainey. It's just like she's being confronted with a version of herself that's so confusing for her. Yeah. Well, I think it's the, where does the slut come from? Because I think Samantha operates with so much security in her sluttiness, but Lainey is a clearly insecure individual and that's why she's always seeking attention through her sluttiness or Samantha gets attention. Yes. It's given to her because of who she is. A hundred percent. It's a completely different approach to the similar results. Yes. An internally driven slut versus the externally motivated slut. Exactly. Exactly. Psych 101. Dude, that's a really good analysis. Thank you so much. A really good read. But yeah, and we see so much that like Lainey clearly is just an externally validated slut. Yeah. Because the second that she's pregnant, now she's, now other things drive her. Well, there's a reason Lainey works in A&R. Right. And there's a reason Samantha works in PR and runs her own company. Because especially A&R back then, it was all. What is A&R? It's. A&R is a company that, you know, in the show, they, the joke that Carrie makes is that Lainey described working in A&R as sex with an expense account. Yeah. That's what she says. A&R is people that recruit, like gather people to music. Yeah. So she makes bands. That's also the joke. Every time Lainey left town, she would come back with a new boy band and like a gynecological condition no one had ever heard of. Her and Simon Cowell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like discovery. She was making One Direction. Exactly. Yeah. And she was freaking them. Making One Direction. Yeah. Yes. She kept. Exactly. That's what they were saying. That's what Darren Star. Oh my God. So that's A&R. And we all understand now. Yes. I love it. Well, we actually saw Michael Patrick King talk last night. He was doing a panel with Lisa Kudrow and Taffy's talks. And he was talking about how the anal scene, which is an episode four, a three, a four. Oh, the up the butt girl. Yeah. Up the butt girl. Because he wrote that specific episode. Yeah. And one thing that is even captured in this episode so effortlessly is how all four girls were so awkward or talking about anal, but they were able to portray in this really casual, interesting way. And I think the same way that women capture sluttiness, where even though you can sense that something, even the actors themselves can find taboo, they can kind of also channel that energy. And I think Miranda does such a fantastic job every time. Which is having this really cold perspective and takes this information that would be jarring for most women. And just distills it as like nonsense and silliness. And that is, that's so beautiful. Instead of triggering her. Well, it's so interesting because I actually just saw, dare I say it, TikTok about it. But the goofiest women, the theory that this girl's positing is that the goofiest women are the ones with like the most natural sexual energy. And goofiness and that kind of like silliness or ability to like make jokes of things actually comes at a young age when you start to feel like the world is sexualizing you. And that is like a defense mechanism. So that would make sense that like the best way to talk about sex would to be, would be in this like kind of cold, detached, funny manner. Yeah, exactly. But again, it might also come stem from the insecurity of it all. 100%. Miranda does not read as a secure character. And I think like when you see Samantha's reaction and Miranda's reaction to Lainey showing her boobs, you can, you can ultimately tell because Samantha's like, oh, as like a professional in the field. She's like as an expert. And then Miranda's like, this reminds me of everything I'm not. And I'm pissed. Well, she even makes a joke about how she just eats a double stuff box. And she's like, fuck my sisters who are married and having babies. I'm eating Cheez-Its and I hate you. And I'm like, come on, please. I do like how bitchy they let Miranda be. Like every episode I'm reminded like, oh, she's just like absolutely like only saying negative things. And like, we all love her. She's such a negative Nancy. Yeah. But it's interesting. The reason why we love her maybe is because her hair is so short, you know, like Miranda with a long hair. Didn't they have Miranda have long hair? She had Bob. Yeah. Did they go all the way down? No, that's a fan edit. Sorry. There's a photo of my head, but she didn't go to Bob. I am like if they were to CGI and recreate the show and give Miranda long hair. It wouldn't work. Everybody would freak out. Well, people would like really hate her. People wouldn't know what to do. Like, again, it's so interesting because you also realize like, again, I think Miranda is such a good encapsulation of what I'm talking about. Where I'm like. No, that's someone who the reason why they act like insecure about sex is because if they were to like fully lean into their feminine, if you will, they would be so sexy. She wouldn't even know what to do with herself. Like, I think it would be so. It's like she's a lawyer. Like, she would lose her sense of control in a way that scares her. I would scare others. It would terrify others. I'm scared right now. Even thinking about it. Okay. So they all are talking in the bed, watching a movie. I love this. The staging of that is so beautiful. I love the way they do. Stage pictures. It's so intimate and like yet organic. It's so like clearly staged, but so organic. And Miranda's just like eating popcorn behind Carrie and Carrie's just like laying down. It's so. I'm like, girls could never do this. Oh my God. And they all like, I believe all of them. I believe it. I know. I was thinking that. Of course. Yes. That's how they're sitting. Because they don't have this. Why does TV not exist in the capacity where you have these like beautiful earnest moments caught anymore? Well, so I was speculating that TV is now like a Mandela. A fact of how TV made us feel. So TV is now recreation of when we watch sex in the city, we go, this feels so real. This feels so real. So now in order to capture realness, we like try to make it real. Like, do you know what I mean? So instead of going for, how do we make it feel real? We're going for, we want it to actually be grounded where I would argue that grounded TV, the grounded TV. We remember that feels real. Like sex in the city is a Mandela effect of like, no, what you're making now is boring. And like, feels like. Yeah. But yeah, it feels not, it doesn't feel real because you're trying to make it real. It's such a good point. But that's how I, that's how I feel about watching sex in the city. I'm like, this makes me feel real. But like, obviously when you look at the stage picture, such a good example of this, but I'm like, it's not real, but it makes you feel real. And so in order to make things feel real, you have to like be doing all of these kind of like cute little staging. I fucking love it. It is like these women don't feel like they feel like real. But then. Every episode you're like, oh, they literally are just like a topic sentence of this video essay. A hundred percent. And it's like, why do I believe them? Like, I'm like, Charlotte is like that. That is who she is. It's because, again, this is a tick tock, but people mistake consistency with authenticity. So if you just really double down on every character specific traits, that's what makes them feel real to people. Having like a really, really specific, almost like niche through line. Right. It's just like our brains experiencing pattern recognition. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Like, oh, square, square. Square, square. Yes. Circle. Yes. Yes. That is a circle. Yes. I'm literally going, we're going Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte, Miranda, Miranda, Miranda, Miranda. It's so beautiful to think about. But I'm like, if you can't take a BuzzFeed quiz and go, was this Charlotte or Miranda or Carrie, then like you've done a bad job with your TV show. It's giving me chills. Yeah. Yeah. Again, it's like, it's shocking me. I mean, we do have, I think if you think of like Big Little Lies or Severance as examples, these are shows that really let you sit in moments. And characters and kind of, and then their interpretation. I mean, Big Little Lies is a great example of another show that they allow people to like just sit at a coffee shop and eat for a second. And that's where the real plot comes in. It's Gilmore Girls. It's Gilmore Girls. Yeah. People have to understand like human, the conversation is the humanity. That's why podcasts are the new TV. That is. Yeah. A hundred percent. Because again, this feels more, we should be sitting a little closer. It should kind of be straight on. Let's get this on 16 millimeter. But yeah, Sex and the City inspired me so much. I like shot my short film on 16 millimeter because of Sex and the City. Oh my God. Because I was like, this is like the dreamiest. Yeah. Like just most, it's beautiful. It's just so like pure to watch. It's so, that's expensive. Good for you. Well, I made it, you know, sure. I splurged on specifically just film. Yeah. You have to. Yeah. You have to make a choice. Exactly. Please. These girls, is this the first time we see them in Connecticut in the series? Can we talk about the car for a second? Cause that's, that's. It's so funny when none of them can drive. I'm like, this is a slapstick comedy. That's what you know that gay man wrote the TV show in a moment like that. Cause they squeeze three women in the back, Charlotte with the basket in the front. And they're like, nah, who the hell's going to drive? I also love, they're always coordinating outfits. Yeah. Like, you know, they didn't even have group texts. How did they all show up in like a beautiful black overcoat of some sort? Each in their own distinct styles. Each in, that's the Miranda coat. That's the Samantha coat. That is Charlotte. That is Charlotte. It's so real. That's the Carrie coat. And even the wedding. Oh wait, that's a different episode. The one before. Yeah. Sorry. We watched them both back to back. But it's a good example. The episode before they're all wearing the black dress, the little black dress. While everyone else is in something more formal. Yeah. Again, the way that they all always Mary Kate and Ashley matching. Yeah. But again, no group text. How did they do it? Oh, I know. We know how. Landline? How did they do it? What's the diva's name who's in charge of close? Oh, Patricia Fields. Yes. Patricia Fields. Obviously it's Patricia. Another redhead. But that's what I mean. It's like, okay. People are so obsessed with like groundedness. Like, oh, we want the characters. Okay. No shade, no tea. It's like any like show I've worked on. But so many times now you show up to set and they go, just wear what you have on. Like I've had that happen to me so many times in like real TV shows. And you're like, and at some point I'm like, no, but you don't understand. I have two lines. You show up to set and you're just like, what? Like, I thought this was like a whole thing. Like, I thought you were going to be really careful about what I was wearing. And I am like, no, but to make it feel real, to make us understand this is Samantha. This is Miranda. This is Terry. What? You have the most crazy wardrobe. Yeah. Literally. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Sorry. No, no, no, no, no. But I'm just like, it's like to make it feel real. Like, oh, these are friends. You have to like have Patricia Fields. Yeah. The thing that makes this show real. Is that it's so fake. Yes, exactly. And that's what people don't understand. That's what people don't understand. And people are trying to like, oh, I want to do my sex in the city. Just show up. Oh, just wear your clothes. You guys, then you're not doing sex in the city, guys. It's true. It's a visual first show. Yes. Which I actually think is why the resurgence is so popular because we live in a visual first time. I mean, we look up the music industry and it's completely shifted to the visual representation of what music is. The image is more important than the sound. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. But sex in the city is able to deliver on both. Mm-hmm. And that's where the beauty comes in. Well, also, you like watch it and you're like, this is not only funny. It's like moving. It's resonant. It feels real. It doesn't feel like, again, I love 30 Rock. Right. But 30 Rock at some point, it's just a- You're like, all right, Tina. Yeah. It's like a list of jokes. Really funny jokes. Hilarious. I literally love it. Rewatching that as well right now. Hello. But it is so funny because you watch sex in the city and you're like, holy shit. There weren't too much tan in that show. Also, it changes me. Yeah. Yeah. Like a true show with the power to move you. I think they created this. They created a creative direction for the TV show itself. Darren Star and Michael Patrick King, they didn't necessarily envision the characters image-wise first because they're so scene-oriented and they understand the character from the consistent standpoint. But then you bring in Patricia Field who had a different, moving a separate hand. Yeah. And because it was, the writers went to one that's dictating the image because they're not visual people in the same way. Yeah. That's ultimately why we got such an interesting image to begin with. 100%. Yeah. You need someone with vision. Yeah. God forbid. God forbid. In New York City? God forbid. God forbid. And that's why we have that amazing vision of them three black trench coats in a car, first off, convertible in the fall. So chic. Chic as fuck. Or spring. The way they have it parked on the street where I'm like, now where, when, who got it? How did it get there? Because none of them are like, I can drive. It's like, who brought it here? Whose car was that? The production designer. Yeah. Patricia Field. Sorry. It's her car. Probably my counterpart. Yeah. But they go to Connecticut and we finally see 30-something woman who took a picture of who took a different path, aren't single in the city they're actually married in connecticut well the interesting part to this is that these were never the same women like laney is the cross-section where she is kind of pregnant or samantha pregnant but these are the more archetypical career women who outside of miranda i guess but miranda's her own adventure but that were high-powered career women who like probably went to the right colleges like their personalities were simple enough that they could just like marry at any point i think it's like when you're a particular woman that's when it gets difficult because you can't like uh give up yourself in the same way yeah i think that's a really good point where it is like oh women with personalities that are simple enough or not even simple enough but like you know malleable enough i think like people who are willing to kind of like make those concessions yeah i also feel like all those women it's like well they were crazy in the city for six years and they knew the whole time they were doing that they were gonna go to connecticut next right like they had that plan whereas i feel like carrie and whatever all like well i love that carrie doesn't have any like every single episode she's like i don't know what i think yeah like that's her whole thing is she's like i don't know and we never get an answer like the end of every episode is carrie being like i still don't know if i want to be a mom i guess it's like yeah we didn't answer anything we just explored but i think that's such a like uh crucial part of her personality is that kind of willingness to be undecided also i think that's what makes a good writer in theory i don't know if carrie broadshaw is a good writer in real life but um i think you know it is this kind of like truly open-mindedness like she's genuinely open-minded yeah even though she's very judgmental she's like she's open to her judgments being incorrect yeah she's very much like i think this but it could be anything yes exactly this is what i think these are the conclusions i've drawn but really maybe those are wrong you're absolutely correct but that's what i mean it's like i don't know i don't know it's like you need to go in open but you also have to have the perspective yeah that's it is a well-written character and not to bring up the hannah horvath but she she was both yeah she was open but she never truly had like her perspective was so unmalleable like she never went into a situation not knowing what she'd already think at the other end of it yeah or carrie at least lets herself ponder and then gets back to the exact thing she thought hannah tries to ponder but it's like she's doing coke on a tuesday and she doesn't even believe it well i think hannah is too she's still a journalist she's a journalist she's a journalist she's a journalist she's a still too obsessed with what other people think about her to truly express herself yeah you have to give up the cringe and fall the thing you like you will you also have to like low-key like um decide to live your life from a completely like observer perspective i think like you can't actually be living like oh i want people to like me you have to be like i i'm letting my true internality guide me completely and if people don't like that they don't like that and we see that with carrie like a lot of people don't like her a lot of people that doesn't bother her really like clearly not she's completely unbothered like her in the show people like her but i think people also don't like her like yeah in the way like it's like also like okay but she's like how do i say this even if people like her and she's like likable to people i think but also she's like she walks into the party at the baby shower i think this is a good example and like clearly nobody like they're like cares about anything yes girl they're like hi well they represent what they're like i thought you guys weren't gonna make it right exactly right also again she holds up a mirror to like the things that they left behind so this is well the situation the baby shower i mean that the house looks exactly like where my hometown looks like i honestly ultimately think it's like where i grew up i do think it's the exact same town it might be um and all the women are exactly the same where i come from a place where people like great uh went to great colleges and they also had high power positions at jp morgan and then some of them will give that up to pursue motherhood and then you ultimately like see because they have these insane they're insanely smart women who have been sharp their whole lives and there's an example where they do a cutaway with one of the mothers who says i was running 212 people at jp morgan and now i just yell at the gardener who doesn't understand a word that i'm saying and speak and and they have no choice but to be critical because they have these they have to like find a competitive they have to find some aspect they can really hone on that's how we get helicopter mothers that's how we get these over-involved mothers because they need something they can control and in the situation they feel like they can control the these more like perturbing women to them because they are like entering into their space and they can like be off-putting and look down on them uh and i ultimately i've seen that like in my own childhood like growing up as well like if a woman acted outside of a certain line like the way people would talk about them with harp like it's harpies and vicious yeah and it is interesting to see i do love it really is like a way it's all like they are so in amalgamation at first and then we get the cutaways of each of them like with their inner worlds being presented and it is like oh yeah like even though they're being painted as like this one brand of person all of them like made this choice while existing in the world before some are purely wanting to be mothers and some are like i'm now a mother which is i think that's an interesting parallel as well yeah huh it really it's beautiful i love it i do love it i mean it's it was it's a moving episode i was so happy that this was the episode i got to watch it's so well researched also again i love the way they do the cutaways to like the specifically it's so interesting sex and city in this episode uh carrie breaks the fourth wall in the first season there's like more fourth wall breaking yeah but it's like again it's a tv show filmed in such an avant-garde way but yeah the way they do the little cutaways it's instead of doing like traditional mockumentary they literally have like a like little pans like wet pans to the women describing like making their little joke about how what got them into motherhood and i'm like it's so again it's just so like elegantly told it's so sharp it literally feels like decadent like every cut it's delicious yeah it does there's information it's hard to like look away because you will miss something but also every i think that's also this episode really demonstrated to me the power of a good joke because the power of a good joke has that one joke has the ability to communicate so much information like the 212 employees and like i'm like we we know everything we need to know about the character and not yeah well we got a joke and we didn't lose anything about the character at the expense of the character and i think that's so many tv shows now they will expend a character's personality in order to get a fun joke across well i think so many tv shows now especially comedies are dare i say characters saying tweets that's what my husband and i talk about all the time where it's like this isn't really giving us you should be able to in a joke give plot character that is so real because i'm like oh that's an amazing one-liner but it doesn't even make and i don't even believe you yeah it's like it's not it's actually it's i think it's it's no one wants to take a risk i mean we've all some people that we practice in short form we're comedians and like writing stand-up is so you don't always have to tell you are doing anything to you'll spend anything to get the joke across right so a completely different mentality but these are funny people writing tv it's just such a different approach it really is i i do feel like they're both valuable and they're both valuable and they're they write jokes for each of the four people well they're doing circle square yeah they're like this is triangle yeah this is triangle this is square joke this is where i feel like a lot of tv shows now it's like any of the girls could say that crazy thing any joke goes yeah we're learning something at least god forbid but again it's like so crazy because like you could like say a line and you're like we know if it's samantha we know it's charlotte we know it's miranda we know it's carrie who's at it yeah yeah wake that up please yesterday at the we went to teffy talks and it was like they played this game at the end of the episode where it was like all the characters and they just had to like react in that character it was literally an improv game where they were like now say what samantha would say in this like situation and it was like the way the audience was like literally square literally got the example where she pulled out charlotte and she had a like you sent a text to the wrong group chat and she goes oh um yeah okay what okay i sent it and then what carrie carrie and you knew exactly that it was but again i always say too i'm like if your character and your brand identity dare i say is clear people should be able to do an impression of you right if people can't do an impression of you good luck charlie good luck charlie oh my god bridget mendler time traveler i love that nasa queen so we're gonna get to our first break and when we get back we are gonna dive a little bit more into the baby shower we gotta talk about shayla sorry to interrupt the episode just wanted to talk about briefly jones road beauty um i talked about it on the podcast before but basically in high school i had a caked on makeup look i just posted on instagram actually photos of me from high school and everybody was like wow that is scary what you have going on thank god jones road beauty came into my life though because it comes on super smooth and like it's buildable so if you're like i just want like a little bit of lip gloss or like yesterday i was literally in a rush and then this is all i had in my bag i used it as blush lip gloss and eyeshadow taking the cap off to show you guys what it looks like but it's literally just this and i kind of am just i'm on the go i was on the subway literally doing this this morning look at that look at that suddenly i look awake modern day makeup that's clean strategic and multifunctional for effortless routines for a limited time our listeners are getting a free shimmer face oil on their first purchase when they use code girls rewatch at checkout just head to jones road beauty.com and use code girls rewatch at checkout and you can get a free shimmer face oil on their first purchase code girls rewatch at checkout after your purchase they will ask you where you heard about them y'all please support our show and tell them our show sent you and we're back okay let's talk about the stolen baby name do you guys have baby names picked out yes of course if someone ever chose a name sailor with a z at the end i'd kill myself i i'm of course having two daughters silent no you hear it okay i'm having two daughters one's named isabel but she goes by izzy and one's waverly but she goes by v and i call them v and z i'm like busy dinner's ready i love that that's really cute so my husband is actually a fourth he his name is earl robert schultz the fourth no yes for real so you're married to a knight i'm married to a knight but he always we always say it's like he's an earl he's a fourth in like a missouri way not in an english way oh my god so like not in a yeah not in the rich way but no no shade no tito shade yeah um but and like in theory we could have a son and name him earl robert schultz the fifth i feel like probably have to i mean i don't know i don't know he doesn't seem like that committed either way i don't want a son i can't picture you holding a baby and being like this is robert yeah i can't really either picture that but i feel like i don't know i do like the idea that you kind of let a kid pick their own name right but you i know you can't do that because it's like well no you like you can but in the delivery room you have to have something to put on their birth certificate you don't is that a myth my grandmother didn't have a name for five years okay yeah wait a damn minute and she just went by little sax okay i love that actually you don't need a name anymore it's just they face id you on apple and then that's what can be the thing i guess it's helpful in life but no she was born and my great-grandmother said we'll give her a name later and then five years came by and she did not pick her own name dude procrastinated is she just but that's cute as fuck is it cute i like she is little sax still to me today is she still little does she name herself no aina okay i know i need oh it's aina oh my god that's a beautiful name she's the queen of her old folks community in rhode island oh my god the other day i um my parents like on a friday were trying to take her whole foods at 3 p.m but she broke down crying because they would get back at four and she'd be sat with a loser at the shabbat table that's so funny dude i'm like that's what i want to see on just like that is they go to our old folks home right i really think they should do and just like that one more time and just try it yeah and just like that again yeah it's just that's a different conversation i'm like to me i'm like can they shoot it on 16 millimeter and literally like i think that would solve so many problems it really was it was a coloring issue i think that's coloring issue it is a coloring issue it's also okay i mean i think teffy talks about this speaking of teffy but she said this she said in tiktok she was like you can't be a good actor if you're afraid of being ugly and i think that's like such a thing where it's like they don't clearly don't want to be filmed at like certain angles anymore and i'm like except for um cynthia nixon right she doesn't care she digaps but i i mean i love it she's the most out of the whole show she's by far the most actors different from her character yes and no one people don't recognize that i'm like she has to act she has to show up every day to set an act yeah she does because now cynthia nixon plays characters so much more aligned to herself which is so interesting to watch like an act i think you get tired honestly well it's a different story yeah i don't know yes okay so yeah so you know it's a different story laney stealing charlotte's baby name shayla knowing and knowing by the way i'm like there's plenty of shayla's out there charlie to make that name up maybe in like the late 90s whenever this episode took place when did my shayla come out that's from the movie taxi okay so here's the thing it's spelled funky and it's also hard because charlotte is planning to move to connecticut obviously so it's like you can't be the mom with shayla in connecticut i'm the mom with shayla in connecticut and i love that in this episode she talks about she wants a townhouse and then she wants a house in hamptons love sorry i just want to keep it another not to deter from shayla but when she's really upset after laney stole her baby name she's tearing up her little inspo box the modern day pinterest board it is so fun when she's tearing it up and doing all those facial yeah she's just like i'm like i'm just like but like okay but nowadays again not to go hard but my point too hard but i'm like that feels real in nowadays they'd be like this is way over the top that you need to do hey take it down hey too big charlotte but but again but again like i'm just literally like the way that they film it i'm like they would never they would never do that now but it's like it felt so real because that is how it feels that's how it feels you have to show how it feels not show how it shows well this is the problem with pinterest is that now we don't tear things it would just be like unpin and like no movement but that's actually so real because it's like it's the it's absence as opposed to like active destruction yeah like we're no longer active participants and like choosing like what we do and don't want anymore we're kind of like unpin i think we all just consume media yeah and then we've all got it in our own heads and we go we can't do this we can't do that we must keep sharp and funny and joke as minute per possible i actually think that's like reality tv's problem as well it's like millennials are so bad at reality tv because they're staging every moment because they're consumers of the product but before had this real authenticity in early seasons like housewives because these women had no idea what the hell was going on well i do think creators consumers becoming creators is a big problem just in that like i think it does what i was talking about where i'm like the mandela effect what it's supposed to feel like yeah anyway but she's crazy the way i'm like i'm like realizing things today i feel like kylie jenner yeah this is the year realizing 2026 for you yeah she just learned um about the vietnam war so yes bad one i still don't even know it wasn't good it wasn't ideal okay i'll take your word for it i just found out my grandpa was in it and he enlisted himself i said that's wild i said you know what happened in korea uh well people people were drafted and we cut into back to the baby names okay i want to talk about samantha is so like bitchy and like she's so mean girl to laney yeah but then she rides so hard for her girls that it's like so is this a girl's girl who hates this woman or is this a girl who loves her friend no this is a girl who loves her friend samantha's not a girl's girl this is also what i the biggest problem with girl's girl is i'm like girl's girl ultimately implies that you're someone with kind of abstract loyalty to a gender which is really if a woman's bad i still like respect her exactly come on girl what this is a girl's girl though oh yeah girl's girl and that's why it's really confusing for me yeah to be a girl i'm literally yeah it's so confusing to be a girl brat was so like about me yeah no and i think we all felt like yeah actually first to say it last to say it well oh so one thing i actually really like about this episode i forget the exact author's name but laney so after the whole fight where charlotte accuses laney of stealing her baby name laney then says these girls you need to grow up not everything in life can be for single women and uh chris chris chris oh yeah they make up a fake author and a jennifer crozer novel or something yeah jennifer crozer novel but i also think this is interesting because one thing i will i think is so interesting about sex and city for new watchers is that a lot of people give the idea of like singlehood and chic and consumerism to the show sex and city itself but at this time it was the whole culture as well like there's such a ferocious appetite for women who like had had like now that women had that taught me to choose career in themselves they also were like choosing like mass amounts of consumerism and also like they're like exploring their sexuality liberation of sexuality and exploration of their like femininity but also like kind of led to this like really superficial nature now that women controlled the income for both their homes and themselves independently um so this whole genre of sex and city-esque novels came in and i do it's just a it's a funny thing because that i think this is the line that kind of harkens to the fact that there's like a whole culture of this going on at the time i mean i read a book recently that was it's like it was almost in the same vein where it's like this woman who's an accountant or she was an assistant she just like overcharged her credit cards every week and just like wanted to have sex with one man that worked at a construction site and it's a whole novel based off that i read that it's not smart it's not smart she says mostly like reading magazines yeah okay i love that sounds kind of like talon what's fun about this episode specifically is that it it does the fish out of water and then it reverses and does the other fish out of water and it's like oh it would be so easy for this tv show to be like that's about four single women to be like let's just make fun of like women who do this but instead they're like we don't know what the right answer is and it could be anything and there's pros and cons to both and i think it's like those four women learning in real time like there's pros and cons to both and realizing like they don't have to know well even like the final scene where carrie's watching the woman with her daughter at the park and you can see that she's like oh like i could see liking that like we even see like oh that's nice and then she walks home and she's like and and on the walk home i got my period yeah so for viewers at home that don't remember episode carrie is at the baby shower then she realizes she hasn't had her period in a week so on the way back from the baby shower after the fight they stop at a dive bar and carrie tells samantha and miranda while charlotte's in the bathroom that she hasn't had her period and doesn't really know what to tell mr big as they like inquisit her and she's i can't even finish the sentence how once i finish the sentence maybe i can be able to tell mr big what's going on and she grapples with the idea of her having a child and what having a child in her life would actually look like and what she changed as an individual um so yeah and we also see her walking so laney and then laney crashes the party yeah which let's talk about whatever bra she's wearing that she can't take off yeah i think it's probably a nursing no not a nursing bra but like it was probably some sort of like binder i'm sure like when you're pregnant your tits get huge that's like what they say so it's probably just like i love that she got up and she was like now wait a damn minute i didn't get this through yeah she literally cannot take the bra that she has on well spandex is a more recent spandex invention than we remember it to be that's so true we were they at this point it's like when spandex was coming they didn't have skims just she only had like flowy repairal before yeah loose cotton yeah you can rip that off easily so true but spandex hugs the body for a reason right so she so we we do the whole baby shower thing and then samantha throws the reverse baby shower of that i don't have a baby yes yes and laney crashes that and everybody at that party is so judgmental of laney like it's it's exactly like those girls like miranda standing in the corner being like what the fuck are these mothers up to it's like what the fuck is this pregnant bitch up to yeah like in a way that i'm like okay y'all have fun they have fun but i love that laney is being like so scary cringe and carrie is just like hey baby doll like let's bring you to connecticut again like she's like truly having a mental breakdown like she's losing her mind there was something clearly about seeing charlotte carrie samantha miranda at her bb shower that like triggered something in her or like when she's on the phone with carrie and she's like like i want to party with you guys again it's like oh this is like a lady who she again she's like nine months pregnant she's about to freaking pop one out that's a joke that they make the reverse baby shower like if they uh if she if she gives birth on this couch and miranda fucks on this couch she better buy it if this if this mother gives birth on this couch she better buy it i'm like girl somebody needs to buy that somebody needs to pay samantha for her couch please and it's on next door she didn't have the facebook marketplace back then she didn't have the facebook marketplace back then she didn't have the facebook marketplace back then this is how it gets done it's so good but yeah it's so like again it's interesting because it's like oh yeah like this is laney's clearly someone who is very unstable and has always kind of been unstable yeah and acting like the baby stabilized her but i think that's also is like and then laney like does the speech as she's getting into the cab going back to connecticut to carry and she's like uh like i don't even know who i am anymore or something like i didn't think i'd wake up one day and like not know who i am anymore but it's really interesting because laney is someone who i would argue never had a secure sense of identity and was always seeking a sense of identity in these external identities yeah and so it's like the idea that like carrie would lose herself in motherhood to me it's like i don't think she would like i don't think that would be that is so real like it's so a laney issue where it's like well no matter what life she's pursuing we don't believe it because she doesn't know but then and then it's like well no wonder samantha brings up so much for her you know what it is it's like when you raise your kids in westchester or the suburbs first the actual city itself and then it's like well no wonder there's this amazing moment from roni where uh ramona is beats kelly ben simone for one of the first times they're at a fashion show and kelly invites her to prez hilton's after party for a launch of his new website and marona brings his her daughter for her first fashion event and then she sends her daughter who's 13 back in a taxi cab back to the upper west side so she can go out more that's so funny ramona never lost herself no she always had herself and carrie would do something similar yeah carrie would be carrie but like with a kid exactly but i think again i think that's what the episode does such a great job of demonstrating is it's like like you said it's like they're not saying like motherhood is wrong or being single is right like it's really not it's a very nuanced kind of like picture of these are these kind of people and this is how these things have affected that and like we do see like yeah laney was clearly always like an insecure like whack job i mean she makes that one line about like the book the fake art author or whatever and it's like okay so she's trying to convince herself because then she's immediately like i reading these books at home in connecticut while she's like waiting to give birth this is so fun man before anything happens in your life i'm sure you like before you go to college or choose a new job like you always take a big swing at something because you know you can't get that moment back and she just wants to she wants to have her old self back because yeah as she says and it's such a really heartbreaking scene where she goes no one tells you that you can't show your boobs at a party one day like one day in your life it does switch heartbreaking yeah but i think that's like another reminder like in kind of an existential way that like you have to enjoy where you're at right now yeah because like there is no back you know yeah there is no back except if you're a gay guy so true and there's no forward unfortunately you're just kind of stuck like that i do love that of course this episode carrie might be pregnant like yeah like they of course they're like no we need her to do this and it's like we're like like they're acting like we don't know if gonna be a mother if she's pregnant and it's like girl we're in season one no you're not yeah no you're not this is sex in the city like she's not gonna well you know but also at the time i'm sure like again this was like the first kind of show of its time that's why it was revolutionary i mean it had gone and made carrie a mom they did not even mention abortion and but it's like it was so like there in a way that was definitely radical for like the time and even now yeah well they do cover in the show yeah well they talk about how carrie had an abortion and then she meets the guy that would have been the father of her baby oh my god i have so much to look forward to you guys have you not seen it not all of them okay this is that's so funny i mean yeah no i mean everything i know about life i learned from sex in the city because my mom like wouldn't talk about these things because she probably was on a clean version on tbs i literally well i remember the first episode i ever saw was in a dentist's office that's how i learned about tbs or end up being like carrie that's that's what i raised me but yeah it's like so funny because i'm like no my mom hated sex in the city also like that's how i knew it was good it was like my mom was like offended my mom was very laney like about even like the way she'd like look at the characters talk about the characters like i'm like no it really is i love it this is bringing something up it's really mad and she doesn't know why she's mad but you do and you're like okay so this is bringing up something for you and they're like no i just think that girl's stupid turn it off yeah that's shit at this time my mom my mom's exact same age as the characters in sex in the city and we were we lived in manhattan when this episode came out so my mom was newly child because i was born a day this show premiered that's crazy like 10 weeks old when this episode came out beautiful um so my mom was in laney's position actually while that it was happening because my mom was a notorious party girl downtown nyu stern i love that i love that no she wasn't she's a commuting to connecticut every day but i mean she but she doesn't see she never like i don't my mom's a very open person though she never like saw this show as like a like these women were so crazy she's still my mom wants anyone to punk it's still her favorite show like because even the way these women are living through carrie i mean that's exactly like what is going on with laney's they live through the women who can have these adventures still yeah most like there's not a successful market for mother podcasts there are but dating podcasts love podcasts has such a bigger spear because even those in committed relationships like to learn like like to hear about experiences of love because it's the most relatable thing on earth it is well we're you know it's it's also it's never ending yeah because it's like oh even like when you are married there's still like you know you could be 20 years into your marriage and you're like is my husband being weird like it never really ends because again humans never stop kind of like changing and like moving and i'm like getting upset in real time i'm like right yeah it's never gonna end yeah it never really ends but isn't that beautiful also yeah i know it's inspiring and you wouldn't want it to yeah yeah well okay before we wrap up the analysis of this episode i want to just quickly talk about well again we were talking about this beautiful why this show is so beautiful is because of so many small choices that are made uh i think my favorite small choice of this whole episode is when carrie and miranda are going to pick up a pregnancy test for carrie and miranda picks up i think their condoms and carrie without saying a word picks them up as she's gonna she as if she's gonna pay for them herself that's not sad at all it's barely even acknowledged you don't go to the cashier and actually have her check out all she does just take it and that says so much about their relationship in a profound way like that's that's the family like you would only do you do that for family for someone you really care about and when you have the big bigger purchase it also shows who carrie is as a person like she is caring she's spending 350 dollars on a pair of gucci shoes she's clearly in credit card debt but she still will buy your your female condoms well again i think that's like such a beautiful thing too it's like carrie's not cheap in like any real way like at all like she's very she's very giving yeah like which is also why it's like so interesting like you know in future episodes where like their money is involved and it's like the reason that carrie's like in a financially dire situation is because she does dare i say live in abundance mindset yeah like she she loves it she loves it in a way that's like she's going to Dolce and Gabbana. while her credit card gets cut up and then she's like i trust someone will appear and buy it and they do and they do but like i i truly am like i watch carrie and i do go look this is how this is how i'm gonna live my life yeah it's beautiful like i love it also everything does work out for her and just like that she's a freaking great like crazy apartment like she only ever up levels also again it's like the kind of thing where it's like i do think especially if you're a writer or like your livelihood is tied to your ability to present your life and like have good vibes dare i say okay like if your livelihood is tied to your ability to keep the good vibes going you have to have this mindset like you have to have this kind of she cannot be on google sheets it's just yeah we don't want that we don't want carrie with a mint.com account or whatever we don't want carrie signing up for rocket money carrie does have subscriptions that she's paying for that she doesn't know about that's okay that's fine and that is okay that's why i like her i guess that's why i want to see her on my tv right i don't want to see the girl i don't want to see someone with a perfect budget on tv no i go to youtube to watch a girl tell me about that well i realized i had to stop watching this tiktoker who is like financially responsible because i was like i don't want to live like you in the nicest way possible like i love what you're doing for yourself i love that you feel like that about yourself but like i'm a carrie bradshaw please and and now we have a great question for you yeah yeah we're gonna cut to our second break and we get back or we're gonna find out what girl he is and we're back amelia let's ask the age-old question girl what girl are you i'm a carrie through and through i love carrie i love everything about carrie i think in time at moments of my life you know i've been all of them haven't we all except for miranda i don't really see that much miranda myself i don't really think i've ever been miranda like and i again i don't know what it's all about but like no i've never really identified with miranda but again i have moments of identifying with samantha i have moments of identifying with charlotte but at my core i'm a carrie i don't i think yeah absolutely there's no way to think it otherwise also again i'm a writer i'm fascinated with love from an anthropological and cultural standpoint and i always have been and i think like the way that we have relationships is so uh indicative and also dictating of our culture yeah i love that yeah that's a really good answer thank you you want to ask amelia with me yes girl what girl are you um this week i'm actually carrie too just because miranda is like i definitely don't want a kid samantha's like i'm not doing that charlotte's like i want one so bad and carrie's like i see baby that's interesting and she's like wait wait wait i'm really busy right now and that is so me like anytime i see a dog i'm like should i be a dog mom and then i think about it and i'm like no no no you want to be a city girl you want to be a city girl and it's like i would go to a park and be like i need a daughter tonight and then i would be like actually no i don't no i don't that's beautiful yeah i'm wishy-washy now evan girl what girl are you i had a really upsetting experience on wednesday where i'm in a gay guy improv troop there's four of us so we keep playing this game where we pick different groups of four women and then we annotate who everyone in the group is last time is charlie xcx there's a photo of charlie xcx rachel senate kylie jenner and kate berlant and and then i was kylie jenner which is fine but i go but there was a real heated debate between me and one of my other members who everyone we were like is are they rachel senate are they kylie jenner are they rachel senate but i but and then we did it again for sex in the city and everyone gave me samantha i go i'm the most sex negative in this group you're giving me samantha but you're samantha they gave me samantha who was who so my friend eric with a mustache was carrie and he crops every t-shirt he owns okay charlie was um charlotte okay ricky was miranda charlie was miranda ricky was charlotte and i was samantha i first off these people have no they have no stakes of who they are i'm gonna be honest they all came in beige i think i'm wearing a pattern of color i'm sure you'll feel dressed me yeah all four of these men and every single person that you ascribe to each of them is incorrect like you didn't get one of them right and i think i'm carrie honestly you're definitely not samantha no but i see if in this group they thought you were kylie then like i see how they would think that kylie is like samantha yeah like that was good okay okay so they're trying to beat you i don't want to be kylie jenner right but not that she's lovely but like i can't do timothy right now and that the photo it's just it's like it's not who i align myself right it just felt like a really upsetting experience because i said i was the influencer of the group well i've not posted a product one time yeah okay one time but that's different yeah i'm not posting product i don't have a small brand to sell here i'm being me online right me woken up this morning by evan making a tiktok about coffee oh i did yeah that's the carry in me bitch that's the carry um so but i do think i'm miranda this episode okay like no baby well you know what it is miranda's whole she's not having any sex and it's like really subtle and then she goes to samantha's party and like amelia is having like is making out like hard on the couch and i actually it's like my i ultimately am always shifting my personality where it's like i actually i'm an arbiter of the truth if i'm having sex or not it's on the table for me i know that but if i'm denying it and i say it's no one wants me that's gonna happen and when i say i want it that's when it happens and it always goes back to abundance mindset actually yeah it does because i don't see myself as a sexual person well you just have to assume that things will happen for you also i always say sexual sexuality is not an identity it's a behavior and identity is behavior the way you are an anthropologist maybe this isn't true but i think that's true for me at least where i realized like again for my whole life i was like no one's ever gonna want to have sex with me and then i just decided like i just decided i was like i'm gonna be someone who has sex and like either you're someone who gets you get out there and you frick or you're you don't like and it really is that binary it's like yeah the hot people or people like hot people always have more sex but it's like no it's because they feel more confident it's also i was realizing this too because i was realizing um all the ways that you like self sabotage when you think that no one wants to have sex with you you literally are automatically closing off that possibility where it's like if you go into every conversation being like maybe we're gonna fuck yeah the possibility that that is true skyrocket that's why people say like oh you start getting hit on a lot when you are in a relationship it's because you're operating from a place of like i do fuck now i frick now yeah i frick now yes yeah people read it i was going to our last segment is it's time to get carried away well don't be a bitch i'm not being a bitch i'm just being myself so just something from culture or this episode that really stood out to you i'll go first so you just set the tone here so we kind of talked about an episode but again on this panel something really interesting that's pointed out is that valerie cherish which is who lisa kudrow plays in her tv show which people don't know is like a struggling starlet or star or struggling star who's trying to reclaim her own fame they chose her the character to have red hair because they said blonde was too slutty and brunettes were too serious so you have red hair because it's still playful but you can still come across serious and i apply this theory similarly to sex and city but what ultimately also is one of the biggest determining factors and you really see this in this episode particularly is that the hairstyle i think is maybe even more important than the color because carrie is a curly hair people naturally perceive you as like more playful but also i think it harkens and maybe i'm wrong to something more intellectual like a straight hair to me is so bimbofied that people don't assume it to be an intellectual look or curly hair because it's like a little bit messier it's like carefree but it's more intentional honestly than most straight hair is because it really does take so much maintenance when you find out that girls curly hair is actually more work than straightening your hair yeah it's a wake-up call because you're holding your hair you're holding your hair and you're holding your hair and you're holding your hair and you're like they just wake up like that well think about the moms in this episode too where they all have chopped blonde hair they all have very short haircuts and but they're blonde so you still have the color of fun but they also have the haircut of seriousness well again long straight blonde hair that's why that's the ultimate bimbo archetype hair like so it's like you do have to you have to pick you to pick your color i think i would argue it's like it's the style and the color no it is and it's like it's how it all comes together but i would agree with you like there's something very carefree about curly hair which is hilarious because it's the most styled hair it's not carefree at all right they were scrunching in such a specific way even to get this pattern up here it takes some work and it's short and i don't even i have a c3 curl so you wish yeah also i realize like every inch that my hair grows it becomes harder to style and have it look good which is like so just absolutely wild to think about but i'm like i love charlotte's like kind of like shoulder length always perfect just so but again she always uh and she can do it as a brunette honestly exactly but i think again i think it does have so much to do with your vibe and how people yeah i mean if carrie had that blowout which they could easily do on her i always think if carrie had that blowout she would have she would be a totally different person she wouldn't be a writer that's for sure no and maybe it's like the thoughts are like uh it's communicating that thoughts are giving electricity to her curls right it's like how albert einstein had crazy hair yeah no he had curly hair something's going on electricity uh amelia what are you getting carried away with okay i'm getting carried away with um please take her to connecticut when we invented home i'm going home i'm like that is so like that is that goes back to kind of the art the overall theme of this podcast episode where we're like it's so believable because it is so fake and it is so stylized where it's like yes the queen is going back to connecticut which is like the most truthful thing you could say if you said take her to like one whatever lane it's like i don't know what that means but the fact that it's like bring her back to connecticut it's like she just dropped off at the border i'm like nothing i'm like the taxi driver has never gotten clearer directions in his life he's like i know exactly where this is yeah i love it we need to bring that back that's so funny and what about you i'm getting carried away by the concept of baby showers i was realizing how weird i think baby showers are because you're essentially throwing a party for someone you haven't even met yet yeah like i think that's so weird like why are we celebrating we don't know this man's or woman's yet like we don't know their vibe why are we what are we doing here hitler's baby shower exactly exactly that's what i'm saying isn't it for the mom right i mean i guess it's for the mom but to me i'm like i don't know i i truly think so many of these kind of cultural staple events have become such a like no one knows why they're there and again if you decide like actively like actively i want a baby shower because i want people to bring me diapers and i want to play pin the diaper on the donkey or whatever like i want to do this like great but i don't know what to do with it but i'm like are people asking themselves that question is this for me like the registry of it all it's like what are we doing am i the kind of person who wants to have a baby shower registry people just think you know what i'm saying would i i mean i didn't have a wedding registry i guess it depends it's like to me i'm like what does a baby really need man las vegas like this from caesar's palace gift shop you're like y'all better bring me a slushy what do you think of it in las vegas yeah well like the giant alcoholic slushies that's a good point i do like to celebrate is my only thing yeah to me i'm just like i wish that we had more celebrations that weren't just like baby shower right i guess yeah we need more moments we need more of samantha's kind of like i didn't have a baby that's exactly what i responded to positively was i was like that's a free will party a baby shower is like a passive npc party and then the yeah i don't have a baby shower that's an active that's someone who's engaging with the world around them and their own preferences and personality and going what event makes sense for me because it's yeah thrust upon you when you're not in the mood to throw a party because sometimes you get in moods to throw a party but it does not mean it coincides with one's birthday and now it's an act for others it sometimes feels like and you're like you know what my birthday should be about myself maybe sometimes the baby shower is literally a funeral for the before motherhood it is yeah it's like my birthday should be about myself maybe sometimes it is actually you're saying like laney's baby shower was her being like yep i'm never gonna be that girl again and it clearly hit her heart for your first baby no because my stepmom had one for sophie yeah i think but traditionally a lot like uh you only have a baby if you're doing the back-to-back thing yeah yeah because then you can get the hand-me-downs well yeah usually only you're only traditionally the baby shower is only meant to be for the first baby okay my stepmom had a baby when i was 13 and so i was like oh my god i'm gonna have a baby and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have a baby and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna i was like in seventh grade going to a baby shower where we made like cake pops that were diaper themed or something right and i was just like i don't know about all this i think this is getting actually no we have to end the pod but it just ties back into the over-involved mother thing where i actually think more baby showers is because mothers have become like these these hyperbolic mothers have like sunk their teeth in yeah they need a project they need a project yeah um okay so where people uh thank you so much dana darling for being on the podcast thank you for having me a long time coming please i'm so excited where can people find you you can find me on instagram at dana darling and i'll see you in the next one bye bye bye find me on tiktok instagram at dana freaking donnelly you can find me on youtube at dana underscore donnelly and then listen to my podcast the midnight milkshake podcast available on all platforms and your short oh and my short if you're interested in 16 millimeter and you love the aesthetic of sex and city i think i captured it really well in my short film so like what are we which is about a girl who doesn't know what she and her situationship are and then his house gets broken into and she has to decide what she's gonna do and she plays a teen no you don't play dean no i play a 24 year old oh that's a teen that's a teen okay sorry i play a 24 year old teenage girl wait i want to watch it it's you should watch it okay right after this not in front of me on your own time girl thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast you can find us or follow us on instagram and tiktok please rate and review this episode leave a comment in the spotify comment section or if you're on youtube girl and we really appreciate you listening see you next week with episode 11. bye