Settling The Debate On Everyday Social Etiquette Once And For All!

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to be diving into the world of social etiquette. Okay, we're all out there in the world, and we all have to deal with each other. What's polite, what's rude, today we're putting it all to bed. Let's debate it. How far away is too far to hold the door open? See, this really depends on a lot of things. If it's a man who is not old, *mum* six feet. If it's a woman, ten feet, if it's an old woman, it's she sees you. Like, and I don't know, that depends on how good her eyesight is to be honest with you, but like, if an old woman makes eye contact with me and I'm at the door and she's coming for the door, I work here now. I have to hold this door until she gets in there, and I'm not expecting a tip, but it would be nice. So yeah, it really just depends on what it is. What I do is I get to the door, I open it. If I see someone near me, then I'll open the door and let you go first. You know, if you're like right on my heels, but if I open the door and I don't see you, and I turn around and we're making eye contact, then I'll hold the door for you. But if you're down there, dude, don't give me this eye contact, like, hey, I'm coming in there, I'd like, that's great. You know, get the door when you see it, unless you're an old bag, I'll hold the thing for you. Do you let someone cut in front of you on the TSA line if they say they are late for their flight, or is that their problem? Um, here's the thing, in public, I don't really have a backbone. So if anyone gives me any reason as to why they need to cut me in a line, I'll probably let them do it. If they just did it with no reason, then I'm getting my shoulders in there, and, you know, you're gonna have, we're gonna have some problems here. But if you're like, um, late for my flight, or like, oh, my grandma's over there, I gotta take a dump. I'd be like, right, go ahead, I don't care. If it was like multiple people doing that, though, hmm, can't do this. I feel the same way about on flights when people are like, hey, can you move your seat? I want to sit next to my wife. I'll do that once, twice is crazy, though. If I move for someone once, and then someone else is like, hey, can you move again? I'd be like this. I'd be like, no, you get one move per flight, if that, okay? How long after food arrives, should you wait for someone to come back from the bathroom before you start eating? *snort* Oh, what kind of food? If we're talking like burgers and fries, the fries are fair game. I say start going for the fries, you know what I mean, because it doesn't really look like you started eating. But I do think you're entitled to some sort of calories at that point, because you went to the bathroom at the wrong time. I'll leave the main part of this dish alone, but I'm going to start taking some fries. If you're in there and you're taking a fucking neurovirus dump, I could be done eating by the time you get back. If you're watching a movie with a group of people and have to pee, do you get up and go or ask to pause the movie? I'm probably going to ask for a pause, but hey man, I got to go empty the thing. Can we stop the thing so that I can, you know, I don't want to miss anything, because that's the worst part, too. If I get back there and now I'm confused, now I'm going to have to start asking questions, and that's just going to disrupt the movie even more, you know, like you don't want me to get back here with questions. I mean, I would rather pause a movie than have to deal with that. I'm not doing that. By the way, if something happens, where you decide that you're going to go to the bathroom without asking for a pause, and you do get back, and there is a plot hole now, that's just something you're going to have to deal with. Okay, that's between you and Google after the movie's over. Don't start doing the question thing, I might, I'm a little rude, don't start doing that. You're not entitled to a bunch of questions, it's not our job to now explain the plot hole, and then the whole movie, and who's that now? Like bro, I'm not doing this, okay? We should have paused the thing. Greg just asked how many pauses are you entitled to per movie? Obviously it's one. If you get up to Pete twice, yeah, let's pause the movie and go to the hospital, buddy. How much piss is in this thing? If someone sneezes more than three times in a row, do you keep saying bless you? Okay, let me, okay, one sneeze is not common, so I'll usually wait for my bless you. And then the second sneeze, that's where I fire one off, okay? A third sneeze, I would say bless you, a fourth sneeze, I might curse at you. I don't know what it is about that fourth sneeze that bothers me so much, it's kind of like, yeah, your childish, why is your nose picking up so much dust or whatever makes people sneeze? I have no idea what a sneeze even is to be honest with you, but one sneeze, my walls are up. Two sneeze, I'm firing off that first bless you, three sneeze, I'm also firing that one off. Four, I'm a little confused and I'm like, kind of waiting now, like, is this, is this a, you know, a comedy actor what's going on? A fifth sneeze, I'm asking you to step out. Go get a glass of water, maybe blow your nose or something, wipe your ass, I don't know what's going on and what's coming out of what holes, but, you know, you're sick, okay? Five sneezes is insane. Let's get you to a doctor here. When you meet someone and they mispronounce your name, do you correct them or let it slide? Okay, well, you're talking to someone who doesn't have their name ever pronounced correctly for the most part. My last name is Sansogato and if you just look at the name, you go, that's how you say it, but people for whatever reason are like Santiago because they're not looking at the word. Someone actually put on a graduation certificate for Keith. His name was Keith Santa Guts. That's not even close. All that to say, I will absolutely not correct people if they say my name wrong. As long as they kind of have a general idea, you know, nowadays people will be like, oh, your Joe likes or they'll say something like Santiago and I'll just say, yeah, that's me. Like, just because I know where they're going with this and I don't, you know, it's not like I'm at the doctor. Then I'd be like, oh, no, it's actually pronounced this or like for whatever reason, if I need it pronounced a certain way, then I'll, you know, do that. But anyone who's like just sent to sentry on Vino, I'm like, yes, that's me. How are you doing? If an Uber driver clearly wants to talk, do you keep the convoy going for their sake or do you make it clear? You prefer silence. I do both. I do both here. I do keep the convoy going. I will answer all of your questions and I will never get to the point where I'm like, hey, man, just going to throw my headphones in. Don't really want to talk. Your mind just shutting up. Like, I don't have that in me. That's not in my arsenal. But what I will do is start throwing out like, well, that's crazy. You know, like, everything is crazy or like, oh, yeah. Like, I'll just kind of do that. Like, short answers. Mostly agreeable responses. I will ask a question back every once in a while. But that's, we're talking about like, we're only three questions into this conversation. Once you start taking it there, once there's the first lol, I would like it to be over. Also, for whatever reason, I don't understand why, but the Uber drivers at five in the morning are the most chatty bastards in the morning, like in the world. For whatever reason, anytime I get into an Uber, it could be like eight o'clock at night, prime time, or like, you know, 11 o'clock. It's totally silent at five a.m. These guys just want a chat and it's just, it's too much. It's five a.m. I'm barely awake right now. I'm not going to remember this. Is playing music out loud in public without headphones ever forgivable? Yeah, I think that playing music out loud in public is cool. I like it to a certain extent. I think that as long as the public around you isn't enjoying the music and there isn't other music fighting your music, I'm okay with it. You know what I mean? Like, if you're at the park, someone's got music playing and everyone's kind of like, like, vibing to the shit. I'm cool with that. But if everyone here's got fucking radios going and it just sounds like a mishmosh, I'm leaving. And also, you should all apologize. And I hope an EMP goes off and breaks all of the radios. I only know what that is because I played a lot of Call of Duty growing up, okay? Here's what I don't like, though. It should never be so loud that people can't have a conversation. Like, if the music is so loud and you're blasting it, and it's like, I'm across the park and I'm like, bro, what the fuck is that? That's a little too much. Turn it down a little bit. I don't mean to sound like an old bag, but turn it down. Is leaving a social vent without saying goodbye rude or efficient? It's both. And I'm okay with being rude. I don't care about saying goodbye to people. I don't care about people saying goodbye to me unless it's like my wedding or if it's like you're in my apartment, then you should say, say bye to me. Unless there's 30 people in my apartment, which there would not be. But if we're out in public, we're at a bar and we're here with a giant group of people, I'm not going through the crowd and finding everyone that was there and be like, hey man, see you. Like, I don't think I'm that important, dude. You don't need me to say bye to you. I'm fucking leaving. And I'm okay with my friends doing that as well. We'll see you later. Whoever's around me at the time that I decide to leave, that's who's getting the good bye. You know, if you're looking at me, I'll go, hey, take it off. See you later. But I'm not coming over there to shake your hand, like your fucking Barack Obama, dude. I'm getting the fuck out of there. All right, before we continue, we do have some sponsors. The first one being prize picks, okay? Football season is right here and prize picks is a great way to make your Sundays a lot more fun while watching football because you can win some money with prize picks, okay? It's simple to play. 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The weather is actually getting a little cooler maybe in some areas. areas of the United States here. So, you know, you can step out and go to something nice. And you can save 10% off of any tickets with the promo code Joe 2025, okay? So the code is Joe 2025. You will save 10% off of your next set of tickets. Just download the SeakyCap, or go to their website, pick out your tickets, put in that code Joe 2025, and enjoy that 10% off, folks. If someone hands you their phone to show you a photo, is it ever okay to swipe to the next photo? Absolutely not, but I'm doing it anyway. We're gonna test this out. I just wanna know people's reaction, because first of all, if you're sending me, if you're handing me your phone, and there's like a fucking cock on the next picture, that's a crazy thing to be doing. There should be at least five photos in between your dick and the one you're showing me. But I do wanna know the reaction of if I grab this phone and I accidentally swipe, if you have a crazy reaction, then I'm gonna be like, damn dude, what's on this phone? I just like letting my imagination run wild in that way. It's not okay to swipe, but it is a fun thing to do to figure out how freaky your friends are. That's what I'm trying to say. Is it okay to steal a fry off someone's plate without asking? I don't care, I do it. Fries are like a public food item. If I don't have my food yet and you have your food and you have a side fry, I'm taking a fry. I'm just reaching. I'm not gonna be like, hey, can I have one fry? Because here's the thing. I know it's wrong to take a fry without asking from a pile of fries, but it's even more insane for someone to be mad that I took a fry. They're both wrong, but for you to be like, hey, if you're gonna take a fry, you should ask. I'd be like, bro, what the fuck are you saying? That I think is more insane than just taking the fry. That's a great question. Greg is saying, if you take the fry without asking, or you allow to dip it in their dip, or do you just have to raw dog it? That is such a good question. The answer is you have to raw dog it. You can't start dipping in dips because here's the thing. There's an abundance of fries. There's not an abundance of dip. And you're not allowed in the pool there, okay? But you can take a fry and just kind of make it yours, and don't take a big fry either. Okay, you take the one that's closest to you. It's kind of look at the draw there. Dipping in someone else's fries is, I mean, dipping in their fry in their dip without asking is bananas. I realize this is a flawed system, but it makes sense to me. If you're in a grocery store and you see someone, you say hello wrong. But then if you continue running into them in different aisles, do you say something every time you see them? Oh my God, this is like my fucking nightmare, dude. Oh, you're saying the first hello is unavoidable. It depends how old they are. Because if I run into one of my friends' parents, like someone of that generation that I like know through whatever reason, I will say hi. And if I keep seeing them, then I'll keep being like, "Oh, hey, you again?" For Noah, yeah. But like, if it's someone around my age that I know, but I don't really know, I'll say hi, but then I will just ignore. We've already acknowledged that we exist on the earth. I don't need to keep acknowledging them. Every time I run into them in different aisles, I will say this though, if it's like a fringe person in your life that you know, but you don't really know, and it's like a friend that you met through a friend or whatever, I will avoid them. Like I will not be in the same aisle. Yeah, if I see the person and they don't see me, they won't see me. Because I will be hopping around this fucking thing like a cat burglar, okay? I'll be running into different fucking aisles 'cause I just don't want to have an awkward encounter. If it's someone that I actually know, then I'll sit there and I'll just like talk to them. But even if it was like one of my friends, like one of my actual friends, my cousin, Pete, one of my best friends. See him in the supermarket. I'd be like, oh, we would have a quick conversation but I'd be like, all right, cool, whatever, see you later. And I'll keep shopping. If I saw him in another aisle that I'm in, no words, but maybe just like, you know, just like, well, we see each other again, but no words, but I can't do it. This sounds like hell. This sounds like absolute hell. This sounds like when you are with someone say, okay, bye, and then you walk the same way, can't. Can't do it, can't do it. When you're at dinner, how many people is too many to split the bill? I refuse to do this. These days, as an adult, I refuse to split bills. I will get ahead of it. If I'm with people that I don't normally go out to dinner with, because me and my friends, we have a system, okay, we go out one fucking card. And it doesn't matter who it is, 'cause everyone's getting Venmo, but like one card, let's make this easy for this person and like not spend too much time and everyone's got a piece of paper, who's got the pen, like that type of shit. I don't need this. Orsel, itemizing everything, like, wait, what did you have? And I can't, no. I think that if you're in the United States and you go out with a group of five or six people, you have to be under the assumption that this whole thing is getting split. For the most part, if you're going out to dinner and you're gonna have a drink or a glass of wine and you're gonna have food and maybe you have some of the appetizers, but not really, just be under the assumption that you're splitting the entire bill. However many ways, however many people are there. You know, you weren't hungry. So it's like, well, all I got was a salad and you know, that was 16 bucks and, you know, whatever. Then like, you can make a case. These are exceptions. But for the most part, if you're going out, you know, and it's kind of like a regular type of thing, bro. Don't itemize. Don't itemize. Is it ever appropriate to send food back in a restaurant? Oh, God. It is, but I won't. I won't, unless I'm looking at it and going like, this is clearly a mistake and they'll know when they look at this, like, fuck that up. But other than that, I'll never send something back being like, this is way too salty. Like, I won't do that. If it's like a flavor thing, I'm sitting, I'm here. I made this bed. I'm sleeping in it. So if something comes out cold, that's supposed to be hot, yeah, I think that you have to send that back and be like, hey, this is cold. Like, can we just like heat this bitch up or something? That's never happened to me. That's never happened in my experience ever being out at a restaurant where someone's like, what the hell? This is cold. It's happened when you water food, like when it gets delivered and stuff, but nothing you can do about that. But yeah, for the most part, I'm not sending food back. Is it rude to leave a group chat on red or is it necessary at times? 90% of my life is leaving group chats on red. And that's not because I don't like talking to my friends. I'm pretty active in the group chat. It's just that there's too much going on. Sometimes there's 100 messages. I'm not, you think I'm gonna go back and fucking read all this and catch up. All my friends are kind of under this assumption too, because sometimes, you know, someone will pop in the chat and be like, I have 100 messages. Is there anything that I should know? And a lot of times it's like, no. We're just bullshitin' about like fucking sports or some other bullshit. Greg is asking if the group chat is at a standstill. It's quiet. And then someone sends something, maybe a conversation starter. Is it okay to not answer that? And to that, I say, I think the group chat is a lot like standout comedy in that, bro, if it's not good, we're not reacting. It's just, I'm not answering this question. It sucks or like whatever plan you have is whack. Like, it didn't excite me. It didn't excite me. So I'm not gonna answer this. Unfortunately, that's the case. To which then the only appropriate thing that you can do is right, fine, I'll go fuck myself. You know, 'cause of that. Now, now we're gonna listen to some responses. People may even go back and answer the original thing after you've made us laugh a little bit. So if you're not getting answers, it's 'cause you suck. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them? Unfortunately, the answer is fucking no. I don't do that, and I don't care what it is. I get why women have to with underwear, and maybe bras instead, I don't know. And I know that if I think about it a little bit, you know, someone probably wore this at a time to try it on real quick, and now I'm wearing it. And I got their skin follicles on mine. And like, even saying it right now is pissing me off, but I do it anyway. I really do it anyway. The only reason why I wouldn't wear it immediately is 'cause it's got like the store folds in them, and I just don't like wearing that, you know? Like when you get a shirt, it's like, all right, I could see the folds in this thing. You just got that from H&M, then I won't wear it. Maybe I'll iron it, and then I'll wear it, I don't know. But I'm not one of these, like, you have to wash it before you wear it. I actually think that clothes fit the best before the first wash, okay? You'll never get that fit back. So, it's important to wear it while it still has other people's dirty bodies on them. You know, that's the best fit. Well, there you have it, folks. That's just my take on some of these social etiquette situations that we all kind of go through on a day to day. So, let me know how you feel in the comments, whether you agree or disagree. But either way, don't forget to subscribe, and we will see you next time.