Session 146: Troye Sivan

Hi Pussies, tonight we have on probably one of my favorite musicians in the entire world. His fourth coming album, She's the Best, is coming October 9th. Please give a warm welcome to the King, Joyce of On. Thank you very much. Is that true? Yes. Really? I feel like I didn't know that about you. You know what I was listening to, if yours the other day, was "Rage Teenager." Yeah. So good. Thank you. That was like my little COVID baby EP. I was about to say, is what's it called on that EP? Is it "Can't stop thinking about you"? I could cry just thinking about you. Yeah. Yeah. I love that song. Thank you. That was like, I was so depressed. That was crazy. I was like, going through a breakup and then COVID hit. And I like panicked and made that EP. And I'm really happy with it, but it's just such a weird time in my life. When I think back about it, I'm like, well, do you feel that way about other albums? Yes. Yeah. Like, if I had to sum them up, Blue Neighborhood is like, I'm like, young and gay and figuring shit out. And I have no idea how to make music, but that's a kind of charming. That's the first one. I'm like, so in love, like, amazing love vibes. That EP, "Depressed COVID", something to give each other was like, COVID was coming out and I was like, going fucking mental and like, partying heaps and it was a really fun time in my life. And now this one is like, kind of back to "Depressed so Moad" a little bit. This one? This one, well, I mean, like, it's weird because, okay, so the album basically is like, it kind of like starts in my head, like, story-wise, on tour, like on sweat tour. Yeah. And so there's these, like, songs in the album that are like crazy and kind of like irreverent and whatever. And I'm like, you know, partying and whatever and like, like, some of the songs, I'm like, oh, I can't wait to play this live in a way where like, I've got the dancers and that it. But then also, like, the truth of my life at that time was that I was like, and that's still kind of in this place where I'm like, oh my god, I'm like, actually really lonely. And so, I was like, I'm not going to fight that. I'm going to write that as well because both of these things are like true. And then, yeah, so now it's this sort of like, it kind of sums up like my whole life at the moment where it's like, yeah, things are awesome in a lot of respect. And I'm loving my life in so many ways, but then this is like deep, like longing, you know? What do you feel the most lonely? I think like travel days, yeah, like long flights and airports and like hotels, that's always like a huge one for me. You have like a lot of songs about like long distance or like talking to someone and not being with them. Is that because of the tour and like your lifestyle? I think so, yeah. Like, I really, like, I mean, I've done a lot of long distance, but then also just like, I think at a certain point, it also kind of became a crutch where like, I would be like, well, I can't really make myself like vulnerable to this person because I'm leaving in like a week, you know, like, I don't know how you feel about traveling with like dating and stuff, but it's just hard because it's like, well, I'm going on a date with you and then I like you, but now I'm leaving, yeah. So it's like, but you find a lot of romance in the long distance, like a lot of your long distance songs are very romantic to me. Yeah. Well, also the weird thing about this album is that like a lot of it is written to this like boy, like the boy, for example, on one of the songs in the album. It's like this imaginary man that I don't know who he is. Oh, it's not based on anyone, like, not anyone specific, you know what I mean? It's like even a song like FF, which is like this like undying love song or whatever. It's kind of pathetic because I'm like writing it about this like guy I made up in my head. When you start to date someone, do you like envision your entire life with them and like make up this whole thing kind of, yeah. But I also think I think that a problem for me has been, I think when you get too comfortable being single, I think like when I first was going through my break up, I was like, okay, I promise myself I'm going to be single for a year. And in the beginning that felt difficult to like stay single. And now I can't relate to that at all. And I'm like, oh, maybe I've taken it too far where like now I'm really in my like single bag in a way where I don't know how to like connect in that way anymore. You know what I mean? Do you miss being in a relationship? Yeah. Well, for those that don't know, I took it too far last night. I took it too far and I took it too far because when I saw you out and you were drinking, I was like, well, oh, if Troy's drinking, then it's fine. I thought the exact thing when I saw you, I was like, oh, he's so chill about the podcast. I didn't even chill about the podcast. Yeah. I too far. Did you go home after people? I went home after people. That was a good choice, I think. Yeah. See, that's what my choice should have been. Well, it was already like by the time it was two thirty and then you went out. I went, okay, so one oak re-opened for like one night only in New York and I like love the club. Like the club is my favorite place in the entire world. So this one oak, I've never been. It's when I think of it, I think of like a straight, like kind of like a vagacy club. It is. Okay. It is. And you love that? I don't know why I like, I think I get so insecure in like gay environments, that like I find peace being in like those straight environments, which is horrible. Do you get, like, do you hit on people at all in that environment? I try to last night at people's and then the second I feel like an ounce of rejection, I just pull away entirely and go the opposite direction. Right. Hmm. Yeah. I'm realizing that going out is like the best way to meet people. It is. Which is like so not a groundbreaking statement, but I, it's crazy. Every single time I go out, I'm like, oh, there's this person, oh, it's like it feels like real life. I don't know, it's like so much more productive, I think. Do you ever find yourself to be like, are you to feel like you're more introverted or more extroverted? Definitely more introverted. Yeah. I mean, I can like turn it on for work, but like last night, Terry wanted to play party on like the, he gave it to the DJ, whatever. And that is my actual nightmare. Here on your own music out, especially in unreleased songs, and like no one's going to know it. It's going to feel really, really uncomfortable, like whatever people are going to like feel like they have to like look at me and be like, ah, you know, everything about that experience sounds so nightmarish to me, like it actually triggers my fight or flight. And last night I flew the second that the song started playing, I like a B line and ran out the front door. And you just laughed? No, I stayed, I went to like the smoking area out the front and then poked my ear in and when I could hear that the song was over, I went back inside. Yeah. I got that. It's like a nightmare experience, I think. Do you have anxiety? Like bad anxiety? Yeah. Me too. I know. Yeah. No, yeah. I'm really, really bad. I don't think. It was like the meanest thing to say. I was going to say, I don't think mine is as bad as yours. Yes. It's not mine is atrocious and I like right now and shaking with anxiety from last night. Because everyone's calling me this morning being like, Jake and they're like, no, but you were so fun. But Jake and I'm like, I don't remember a damn thing. What are you? Like what's the worry in that scenario? Like what's the worst thing you could have done? Thank you. That's how I feel. Okay. You maybe feel so much better. You want to know where else I feel so seen with you? You have a deviated septum. I had. Yes. Can you tell me everything about that? Have you had it fixed? No. And how long was the recovery? How did you know you had one? And what happened? So I didn't really talk about the surgery when I got it because I thought the people were going to think that I was just getting a nose job. Right. I really liked my nose. I actually preferred. It's like the most tiny change that they did because like they had to put in these like graph things. So it's a little thicker now. But I just would get sick like every two weeks, like at least. Oh, that was the issue. My issue is like I feel like blocked. Yeah, but then doesn't that make you feel like shit? Yeah, yes. Yeah. So I would be like bedridden for like two days of every two weeks. Where I'm just like, oh, I feel so like that like head cold feeling. Yeah. It was constant. And then like it was affecting my singing. Like when I listen back to my old music, I can fully hear that I was just recording with like a fully blocked nose. And then I had the surgery and it was like the last thing I said before they put my sleep was no physical change because I didn't want to wake up with like a little button. I was like, I had this arrest and fear that they were going to like cosmetically fuck with my face. And I woke up. It's pretty gnarly. Okay. That's see, that's what I was worried about and how long was the recovery process? Okay. So for a week, it felt like and this should not scare you off from doing it because I still think it was like the best thing I've ever done in my life. But for a week, it felt like someone had opened my face, taken a brick, put it under, closed my face and sewed it up. Like it was so heavy and full and like it was really gnarly for like five days. And then I think they leave shit in there and then like take it out or something like that. But then once it was better and you look kind of crazy because the swelling does take a long time to go down. Bye-bye. Within like three weeks, I was back, and now I get sinus infections maybe like twice a year. - I think I live with a year long sinus infection. - You probably have chronic sinusitis. - I, what? - Chronic sinusitis. - What sinusitis? - It's like, I think what you have. (laughing) It's like an infection of the sinuses. - It's just like constantly. - Or like a condition, I don't know. - It's like so, like I give myself like, I go like this every single day to try to like move it around. - I used to nettie pot. - Oh yeah, yeah. - But the crazy thing is that when you're that blocked, the water gets trapped in your face. - Yes. - I remember when I was premiering, my, my, my. I went to, this was when I was like still trying to do like radio stuff. - And I went to a K7M in LA. And they were like, okay, we're gonna do a Facebook live before we go live on the radio. And I had such a bad sinus infection and I nettie potted when I was at home, went to the interview. And they were like, okay, for the Facebook live, duck down under the table, like I was sitting across the table, duck down under the table and then pop up for the live till like so far. (laughing) And I felt really full in my face. (laughing) But I didn't like really think anything other, 'cause I always felt full in my face. And the second, he was like, okay, three, two, duck down and I went like this. And the second I like lean forward, it released on live. - On Facebook live. - And I had like this watery like snops and gush out of my eyes. - And I went like this, like so the first few seconds of the live, I've never seen the live, but I was doing this like, getting all this like shit off my hands, horrible experience. - Okay, I needed, so more of the story is I need surgery. - I think you do. - And okay, I'm gonna do an in December, Louise, okay? - Yep, perfect. - Okay, so you sang when you were a kid and then you flew out to Los Angeles and sang for like a Jewish event. And you said that it did not go well. - Yes. I, well yeah, as a kid I was like a boy soprano. Like I used to sing like so high and whatever, and I would fly around and sing like a chore. Like I, that was my whole gig when I was a kid. And I had a panic attack, I think. It was like my first like proper panic attack. - Yeah, I think it was just like something about being in America and whatever really freaked me out. I was like, oh my god, 'cause it's what I always wanted. I like always wanted to be in America. - Yeah. - 'Cause that was where I knew that like all the musicians lived. - Yeah. - So I was like, okay, I wanna go to LA and make music. - But then you, it made you stop singing for like four years? - Yes, oh, I know what you're talking about. Yes, so this was right at the, because I was a boy soprano and my entire identity was like, I was like a boy with a high voice. And then my voice started to break and change. And I was so insecure about it, 'cause it was like my whole life. And I didn't really know what to do with myself. So then I stopped singing. I was literally 12 years old and I said to my parents, I was like, I need to take a break. Like I took a year off. And weirdly, that's when I started acting. And so that was cool. But then I came back to music when I was like maybe 13, 14. And when you came back to me, it was 'cause of the fault in our start, right? - Well, that was like the first original song that I released. Yeah, but I remember I did like a Michael Booblate. When I was still like figuring out my voice, my new voice, I did a Michael Booblate cover, 'cause I thought like, oh, I'm a man now, like I'm gonna do like a little, you know? And I like tried to, and it's like a weird sort of like impersonation of him almost. - No, that makes sense. - I was really trying to like figure out what my new vibe was going to be. - And then I, once my voice kind of like settled, I, yeah, the first original song that I put out was The Phone Now Stars. Which by the way, they did not ask me to do. Like I just like wrote it. It was like fan fiction. Like I like wrote the song because I liked the book. And then, yeah. - I mean, that book had a chokehold on society. - No, it was crazy. - That was the same time as like Pexa being a wallflower. - Oh, yeah, all those like yearning-ish movies. - Yeah. - Do you like Pexa being a wallflower? - I haven't seen it, I don't think since it came out. But it's so good. - Is it, like it holds up? - It holds up, cool. (upbeat music) - This episode of Therapus is brought to you by booking.com. Well, Winter is coming, which means so is vacation. As the cold weather approaches, you might want to find you and your friends want to go somewhere warmer. Maybe Florida, maybe South Carolina, maybe California, regardless of where, the best place to book said vacation is on booking.com. Booking.com is the easiest place to book a vacation with your friends because you can add all your different preferences in. And I'm sure you and your friends each have someone wants a tub, someone wants a shower, someone wants walkability. You put that all in and it finds you in a hotel room, like literally anything you need to really fill out your vacation. And once you have that roof over your head, you are set. The vacation essentially will plan itself. I saw a video from Outer Banks the other day and it made me really want to go to South Carolina. And so now I'm trying to get all my friends to go to South Carolina and we are going to use booking.com to do that. So go on, book that trip, it's easy. Booking.com. Booking.com, yeah. (upbeat music) - I want to talk about your new music video for party. - Okay. - And you've never seen Game of Thrones, you said? - Yeah. I like, I find Game of Thrones, it's one of those things, but sometimes when something is such a big thing, I get so intimidated by it that I'm like, I don't know what my entry point is to this thing. Like the whole world already knows everything about this and I know nothing about this. And then I'll just get really weirdly avoidant about it and not ever watch it. - What do you watch? - I watch, besides the pet. - I do watch the pet, yeah. I watch a lot of educational YouTube videos. Like for example, if you were to pull one up right now and why, what would it be? - I mean, I can literally get my YouTube back over the middle, be like something about construction. (laughing) Or like, you know, like there's these like YouTube channels, like there's one called the B1M that like, just makes videos about like beautiful buildings. Or like, maybe like something about history. Or, I don't know. - You don't watch like television shows? - Not really that much. Like when I get into a phase, I'm like in a phase. And I'll like consume a lot. But I find it's like a habit that I just don't really have. Like I need to like remind myself like, oh, I should watch TV. - Right. I mean, I could give you a whole list of stuff. Do you watch like, do you watch TV every day? - I wake up, I watch TV. I watch TV in the middle, like during the day. I watch TV to go to bed. I've seen every show under the sun. - Wow. Do you read? - Okay. - Do you read? - Yeah. - I read in like spits, you know, like I'll like read like five books in a month and then I'll not read for like four months, you know what I mean? - I have a bad ADHD, so I'm really bad at OCD. So like sometimes I'll have to like read and then reread sentences over. So it's just, it's so exhausting that I just like can't do it. - Do you do podcasts? - Yes, I do. I mean, I know you do. - Right. - A podcast. - I do like true crime. - Okay. - Those are the only podcasts I do. Like right now I'm listening to this MPR podcast about a missing journalist in Syria. - Okay. - Fascinating. - Really? - Yeah. Fascinating. - Yeah. That sounds like something I would definitely consume. - I'll send it to you. - Okay. - It's amazing. My mom, like and I get to tell, like that's the stuff that I'll be like, okay, I'll call my mom and talk to my mom about because she like finds that stuff interesting. - My mom is obsessed with TV and she'll watch so much TV. I remember there was this phase where she was watching this show on, I don't even know what platform I was on, but it was in, I want to say, Russian. And she was watching it with subtitles, but it's like kind of like a soap. Like there was like 50 episodes per season and like 11 seasons or something like that. And my mom, like, watched the entire thing and truly felt like she could, was starting to like learn Russian. That's how I felt when I watched my German TV show "Dark." - Okay. - It is, I think you would love it. - You just start to like pick up on phrases and stuff like that. - Yeah. Nine. - Nine. - Like Jonas. - Where was that? - The main character's name, Jonas. - Oh. - Jonas. - And nine. - Oh. - That's all I ever picked up on. - A name and no. That's awesome. - Yeah. What is it? - A name. - Yeah. Yeah, name and no. How do you say yes in German? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. Nine and Jonas. - You're killing that. - I think you would like dark. - Okay. - What's the vibe? - It's in a small German town. - Love. - And a little German boy named Mikal goes missing. - Okay. - And that's it. That's all you need to know. It's three seasons, ten episodes each. And it is the most beautifully shot show I've ever seen in my entire life. - Have you seen broad church? - I have been debating starting broad church for years now. It's just one of the only shows I've watched and I really enjoyed it. - What's the vibe? Dead body on a beach who'd done it in a tiny town. I mean, I watched that tonight. - Yeah. You'll love it. That sounds unbelievable. - Yeah. - That's really good. - What do you love so much about the pair? I'm really, really, really fascinated by that job. Like, I can't imagine that there's just some, that is like the most different job from the job that I have. And I can't believe that people do that. [BLANK_AUDIO] Doctors? Yeah, like working ears. Yeah, it's so fucking insane to me. Do you want to know a crazy story? Yeah, that's fine because he's alive. This is like a it's like genuinely traumatic, but like I don't know why I'm telling this story, it's not even a funny story, but so my dad occasionally will do like construction stuff and he was with his best friend and he was holding up a weather board to like the side of the house and his friend was doing a nail gun. What's a weather board? It's just like the paneling on the side of the house. Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it. So he's holding the panel while his friend does the nail gun. The nail gun misfired. Maybe I shouldn't tell us. This long of a nail, it was like a six centimeter nail went into my dad's brain. What? And then we get this call being like you have to go to the hospital, like whatever, you know, something seven and so this was my like ER experience, but I went and then the ER was full and they like triaged us to the front or whatever and they were like okay, so your dad has like a nail in his brain and I was like is he alive and they're like yes. And the weirdest part was he was awake the entire time. So he like shot him in the head and then he was like looking for the nail and then his friend was like I think it's in your head. What? Yeah, my dad was like there's no way because I would be dead and the guy was like no, no, no, I think it's in your head and then my dad went like this and he was like okay and he like waited a second because he thought he was going to die and then he got in the car with his friend and then they drove to the hospital and then his friend like ran in and left him in the car to like tell them whatever. The person comes out and is like asking my dad's questions which I now realize is like part of like the triaging they're like trying to see if he's like confused or whatever. So they made him fill out his own forms. He has a nail in his hand and they were just like let's go handle this. They handed him a form and my dad's friend was like no like look and she was like okay come. So then they take him in we get there they take us to this room we're like chilling they're like the neurologist is gonna come see you I'm like what the fuck like what is going on. The neurologist comes in and is like okay which one of you is Troy which one of you is still which one of you is my siblings names and I was like how do you know all of that and he's like I've been talking to your dad and I was like I'm not understanding what is going on because you're telling me that there's a 6 cm in an nail in his brain but you're talking to him and he's like yeah he's awake so we don't know what is going on like we don't actually it must have landed in a really good spot for you know I mean thank God yeah so then I go into see my dad and he's like obviously it was like a super intense like emotional moment or whatever but he was like awake and like making jokes and stuff like that and I was like okay fuck like let's go and they take him off to surgery and they pulled it out and they put a little like metal plate in his head and he's like completely fine when was this this was just before sweat tour and this happened in Australia and it happened in Australia and I thank God I was like in Australia so I could like be with my family but it's insane like I'll show you the x-ray because it's not gruesome it's just like but you see exactly what you imagine like a brain with a nail like that deep into it and they said like if it was a millimeter this way he would have died if it was a millimeter that way he would have been like paralyzed or whatever and they were like you need to buy like lottery tickets because you are like the luckiest man in the world but they also said that apparently a nail is like of all the things to get shot into your brain it's kind of like it's like the best one yeah because it's designed to go cleanly in to a wall and like not crack and fuck shit up around the nail so he had this like really clean incision or whatever like where it went in and then I think the craziest part was like so then that night we're like in the wedding room with him after the surgery and I'm like chatting with him and he's like I'm hungry and so I'm like okay I'm gonna go get you a burger so I go the nail is in his head no the nail is out now okay okay but I go to get him a burger and keep in mind that this entire thing happened like in and afternoon like we got the call probably at noon got to the hospital the whole surgery only took like an hour and they like rushed him to surgery so it's now like 8 p.m. and the whole thing is like already over but it's like it was such a significant humongous like life event that I was like in complete shock and so I go get him a burger and I don't know what to do I feel this like unbelievable like wave of joy that my dad's like alive because I had spent like a few hours of that day thinking that he was gonna die and so I'm like at this random burger place near the hospital and I'm like to the guy I'm like the burger that you just made is going to be eaten by a man who was shot in the head with a nail today by like a nail gun by his best friend and he's alive and he's fine and the guy's like alright and like hand him the bag but it was just such a crazy experience it was like the wildest thing that's ever happened in my life and then I think it took ages for us to like accept that it was fine because like he had like a nail shot into his head and then it came out and now he's fine and yeah like that sounds so unbelievable that I was like I don't know I was sort of like waiting I'm like oh surely something's going to like happen or something like he's totally fine what did the recovery time on that one look like also the weirdest part was they sent him home from the hospital like two days after like it like happened the next day and then he went home the next day and then I'm like at home with him only staying at my house because it was closer to a hospital like just in case and then I get a call on my phone from the hospital and they were like can you bring your dad back and I'm like okay fuck like here we go like here's the complications or something that I've been like not waiting for but like anticipating you know what I mean all like dreading and basically I don't know what happened and watching the pit like made me like realize this but something went very wrong with them like discharging him so soon after like imagine you're doing the rounds in the morning and you're like where's the guy with the nail yeah in his brain and they're like oh we sent him home and they're like what the fuck why right you know so then he went back to the hospital and stayed there for another like three or four days but he was like fine it was crazy so he's not a hypercontract at all it seems no not at all like he I feel like he's like how he's like he's like finger kind of chopped off when he was a kid and they like soda back on and stuff like he's kind of been through the waters a little bit but this was definitely like the craziest thing that's ever happened to him that yeah he doesn't seem to worry about it all like much do you get health anxiety at all um not really health things like that's not one the I get my like biggest thing is um being like feeling nauseous in an environment where I'm trapped so like the gym the gym uh well no if I'm by myself it's fine because I know that I can deal with the situation like if I need to leave I can leave or if I need to like go wash my face and with cold water I can do it whatever it's it becomes a form of social anxiety where I'm like oh I'm with let's say we were working out together and I started to feel nauseous sorry no no if we were together and we were working out together and I started to feel nauseous I'm like fuck oh my god okay I'm starting to feel sick and what am I gonna do am I gonna tell Jake am I not gonna tell Jake like what is my plan and then is he gonna think that it's like weird that I'm leaving or you know like all the worst is like if you're in a car with people and you're like stuck in traffic and you start to feel nauseous uh-huh you're like what if I just threw up right now right here and we're all stuck with my throat that's so embarrassing yeah like my mind goes a million miles a minute and then it like exacerbates the physical symptoms and then I'll like kind of have a panic attack but it's it's gotten better over the years do you have panic attacks off dad I haven't had one in probably like three years and what do they look like for you when you have them just like kind of classic full-blown like um feel like I can't get a full breath and like clammy hands sweaty nervous like like in out in out in out like I'm gonna throw up yeah I that's what mine looked like I'm like I'm gonna throw up right now do you know what helped me was um like iPhone games really if I'm having a panic attack or if I feel like I'm going to a panic attack I feel like it's like enough mental stimulation to that you can't be thinking about the fact that you're panicking which is obviously like the cycle that you know what I mean so if you can break if I can break that by doing something like YouTube doesn't work because I'm still thinking like watching TV doesn't work because I'm still thinking but if I need to like be doing something uh it like snaps me out of it kind of thing when I have panic attacks I try to reach onto something really cold and like it like shocks like whatever part of my body is touching it and I focus on like how cold it is and that's what calms me down do you get them a lot I get them in the gym a lot when I overwork myself and then I'm like oh I feel sick and nauseous and I'm at a gym and what if I throw up in front of everyone right now on the floor like it's gonna ruin everything everyone's rest of the day and I'm panicking because I can't throw up and I feel like I'm going to throw up and everything's hot and so I have to like literally take ice and pour it all over my face and like lay down and just like do you like tell someone like oh I'm feeling weird I say I say I think I'm going to throw up I think I'm going to throw up I think I'm going to throw up and they're like oh you're being dramatic I said no I think I'm going to throw up and I have to lay down and pour ice well it's interesting though because hearing you talk about it makes me feel better about it because I'm like if we were together at the gym and you started to experience that I would think it was really chill like I would worry for you I would be like oh that sucks these not feeling well yeah but I'm I'm not gonna be like, this is gonna ruin my day, my day, the y'all feeling sick. - That makes me feel so much better. - Yeah, right. - Yeah, like even if you threw up I would be like, "Whoa, crazy." And then we would like move on with our day. - Throw up is just like so gross. Like when someone throws up I'm like, "Oh, it's also an irrational fear for me." Because I like, I haven't vomited in years. - Oh, lucky. - Is he like, "I vomited this morning?" - No, no, no, I actually didn't, but I know it's come in. - You're gonna vomit today? - Probably at some point. (audience laughing) - Probably at some point. Do you like make that happen? Or is that gonna be an involuntary thing that's gonna happen? - What time is it now? - 2, 40. - Yeah, so at around 4 p.m. - No. - At around 4 p.m. I'll be like, "Oh, that was so fun, Troy was so fun." I feel a little sick. I feel a little sick and it's not going away and my head is hurting. - Wow. - Yeah. - Crazy. - Crazy. Do you watch industry? - I have watched, I want to say like, either the entire first season or half of the first season, that is my, that is my type of show. - It is. - It is. - It only gets better. - Really? - But see, this is what I mean. TV is a habitual thing. It's a habit that I don't have. I can be loving a show and then I'll forget to watch TV. Like I'm like, "Oh, I should go home and watch industry now." Because I remember it about like, it's just not a part of my daily life. What does a day-to-day life look like for you? - I don't know, like if I have any spare time, I'm like, it's just not, I'm not going to TV. I'm like, going to my YouTube videos. - And watching educational YouTube videos. - Yeah. - So did you watch-- - I think there's some stuff, like I'll send you some YouTube videos that I think you're like. - Okay. - Yeah. - If you had to recommend me one right now, what would you put me on to? - I really like watching this lady who cooks for her family for like, Shofi, the family. She kind of sets herself challenges, where Shofi, the family, for like 50 bucks for the whole week, for like four people. - Oh, that's interesting, right? - Yeah. - And so I love watching her recipes or like how she does it and stuff like that. And when she goes to the grocery store and she's like finding the, you know, like best deals and whatever and like, that's fun. Did you ever watch that show? What was it, coupon? Oh, no, but what is that show? - What was it called? - Extreme Coupon in. - Extreme Coupon in. - I would watch that. Like I would love that. - Yeah, that was like Food Network vibes. Did you ever watch the Food Network? - Yeah, I love. - I love the cupcake wars. - Oh my god, yeah. Also just cooking videos in general. - Uh-huh. - Love. - Like the Buzzfeed Tasty videos. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, and then I bumped into this YouTube chef to do a watch back-to-back chef on, okay. It was really fun show on YouTube. And I bumped into her on the street and I was like completely star-struck, the chef. Did you feel like Paris social? - Completely. - Yeah. - He was like, "Cala." She, um, we had a nice conversation. But I'm like, I feel like she's my friend. Like I wanna have like a dinner party with her. - What's the most star-struck you've ever been? I think like the immediate one that came to mind is Rihanna, where I mean, it's like-- - It's Rihanna. - Yeah, I feel like it's just one that I'll never get over. I don't know, like I don't think, I've only ever seen her. I think I've seen her maybe twice in like real life at things from afar. And then one time at the Met, we like quickly spoke 'cause she, when I was wearing my dress to the Met, I wore a dress to the Met, when you remember. And then I went to the bathroom and I was peeing at the urinal and I like hyped up the dress to pee. And then I'm like peeing and I hear the door slams open and like a bunch of people come in or whatever. And I hear a woman's voice and she's like, "Someone's gonna take a picture of that." And I turned around and it was Rihanna. And I was like, "Oh my God, fuck, cool." Obviously like your dress is hyped up. - Yeah, put everything away. And then I asked someone to take a picture and then I posted on my Instagram and I'm like, "Okay, that's sick to me, the Brianna told me to take that pic." - And that, is that photo still here? It's still on the Instagram. - Yeah. - I know everyone talks about spring cleaning but I actually think the better thing to do is an end of summer clean, to set your school year up right. 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Download the Deepop app to start selling today. Thank you, Deepop, for sponsoring tonight's episode. (upbeat music) - You love long dinners. - Yeah, don't you? - Is that an anxiety trap for you? - When I tell you dinners should be no longer than 50 minutes. - Wow, what do you like? - I get so uncomfortable in my body after I eat that I'm like, we gotta go, we gotta get up, we gotta go. - God is. - And you can just sit there for a minute. - What if the food takes a long time? Does that, is that a nice thing where like, - Oh no, it's like where the fuck is the food? - It takes so long, okay. - We just had our appetizers, it's been 30 minutes. I need to, I need to leave. Like I get terrible. I think it's an anxiety about being stuck. - Yeah, well last night I went to dinner and we were in a booth and I'll sit in like there's one chair. I'll take that because I don't wanna get stuck. - Yeah. - So I get it, but I think for me with the dinner party, the thing that I'm like always striving for is like, have you ever had one that was long that you did like? Like where you're like, that was so nice. And everyone was like, the conversation was like, chatty, everyone's kind of contributing. Maybe we're going around the table telling funny stories and things like that, like has that ever happened to you? - Maybe once. - Where you loved it. - Yeah, my thing is I'm not, I'm the worst casual drinker. Like if I'm drinking, like, it's, I'm blacking out. - Got it. - Which is like the worst. That's why last night, my night last night shifted. I could've gone home after people's. I saw you drinking a beer at people's. And I was like, if he can do it, I can do anything. - Yeah. - And that's why I'm like, at that point I felt like, drinking makes me tired. I don't really like drinking. - Neither do I. - Yeah, do you do it a lot? - Yeah, like every week, but I don't enjoy it. Do you like feeling kind of tipsy or no? - I like taking shrooms or stuff like that. Stuff that I'll be dancing and I like to like dance. And like, Drinky doesn't make me want to dance. - Right. - Drinky makes me want to lay down and go to bed. - Got it. - Yeah, I don't love the way I call him. Like as in, my dream is going to a dinner with an empty tummy, having a dirty my teeny. - Oh, I love a dirty my teeny. And then having a beer during the dinner. That is like my perfect level of like tipsy, that alcohol is like doing exactly what I wanted to do, whatever. And then anything beyond like three drinks up for me, I do not like, I don't like the drunk feeling. - Yeah. - Because it's like, so it's everything that I hate. And then the idea of having to get in an Uber to drive home drunk is my nightmare. So that I think also prevents me from drinking a lot because I'm like, I do not want to be out and about I'm feeling sick. - Have you ever thrown up in a Uber? - I've never thrown up in an Uber. I think I've asked them to drop me off at like Starbucks. - Yeah, so I've learned to do that, but one time in high school, I went to a white party and I was in all white and I was so drunk and I threw up all over myself in the Uber. And then I had to walk past my dormant in high school and I was covered in throw up all over my white thing. And he was like, you are a mess. - See, that would be a traumatic experience, I think. - I woke up the next day and I was like, oh, well. And now I get the worst scary I've ever experienced in my entire life. Do you get scary after a game? - No, this I can't relate to. This is not an anxiety that I feel. But I think it's because I'm so like measured on the night. Like I don't let myself go as much as I would like to. Sometimes I do and it's just like in very specific scenarios and those are the best nights and I wish that I could do it more. But I think in general, my like baseline on a night out is I will try and like keep my head about me. - What's the best night out you've ever had? - So in Australia, do you know what a bush stuff is? - Okay, so in my song party, I say party in the bush, right? In Australia. - And it's about that. - So the bush is just like not in the city. And so like if you're going out to the bush, you're going to like the country kind of thing, you know? And we'll have these like bush dofs and it's like doof, doof. So it's a doof in the bush, right? It's a bush doof. - What's a doof? - Like doof, oh, so it's a doof. - What do you mean in the bush? - So you go to the bush and you have a doof. - So what do you mean you go to the bushes like? - Oh, so the bush could be any-- - I need a bush of like grass. - No, no, no, no, the bush is like, like it could be a big empty field. - Oh, okay, okay. - It could be a forest, it could be maybe someone's uncle has like a farm or something like that. - Oh, party in the bush! - It's a really, really fun thing to do if you're ever in Australia. - I've never been. - On a bush doof. - Wow, that's weird. - That's cool. You've got to come. - Do you love it there? - I've obsessed with Australia. - And do you see yourself settling down there eventually? - Yeah. - But I heard you wanted a London boyfriend. - I do. I think like my dream is obviously to just like meet an Australian guy overseas because then I feel like I don't have to worry about like, fuck is he gonna want to move to Australia one day? - Right, you know? - But no, so sometimes would you like a little mini festival and it's like an unofficial festival. So it's just like friends that have organized it, but it's like three days worth of like DJs and stuff like that. And I went to one not that long ago and my siblings were there and I stayed for like two nights and you kind of just like camp or whatever. And that was really, really, really fun. But then I think like the best, it's annoying to say, but the best like clubbing experience I've ever had was like in Berlin. - Where? - At Berkheim. - What is it like there? - Okay, so remember all of the anxieties that we talked about before. - Yeah. - To me, that is kind of like a one big anxiety trigger because I'm like in this space that I'm like, don't know, this is before I went, I was like, how am I gonna get out if I want to? What if I need to throw up and there's like, you know, 'cause like there's a huge line for the bathrooms all the time. - Can't even match like that. - Like it's kind of a scary experience. And I went in before, before I went in, I went into it being like, I am going to surrender my body to this experience and to this place. And like, I think also, and maybe this is like a Jewish thing that we both have, but it's like, your body is way more resilient and stronger than you think it is. - I know, that's what Louise always tells me. She's like, you think you are dying at all times? - Yeah, you're not. - Why is that a Jewish, is it the Jewish like, what is it? - The anxiety? - I wish I could explain it, but I have no idea. Yeah, it's anxiety. Anyway, so I was like, okay, I'm going to just like, surrender to this experience completely. And so like, everyone else in the place is also doing that, you know? And I, I just had the best time. It's like, I don't know, there's something so beautiful to me about people who have traveled from all around the world and come to, we come to this place. - To magic. - To literally, yeah, like honestly though, 'cause I feel like, and it's just like, how beautiful people gathering to like, listen to music and dance. Like, that's so cool to me. And it's just like the most, I don't know, there's something so like, I think maybe people would assume that there's this like, darkness to it or this heaviness to it, and sure, I guess you could find that if you wanna, or if that's like where you're at, but I was in a really good place and I went in and just like, there's no phones, everyone is so nice, I just like, I had such a beautiful time. - I'm so jealous. - You should go. - I really wanna go. - Yeah. - Do you smoke weed? - No, that freaks me. I get crazy paranoid. - Really crazy, like for some reason with me, it's like, that's the one thing that I can do that calms me down. - Like my best experience on weed was me being like, everything's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine. I feel like five hours, you know? - You know what you put me on to, and it completely overtook my entire life. - What? - Moth food. - Oh, really? - Yeah, I was at Troy's once. What were we doing at yours? You was like a barbecue, but I don't remember for what? - And I was like, I feel like you would know like a good thrift store and you just threw out Moth food. When I tell you, I must have, I go at least once a week now. - Really? - Yeah. - And that's amazing, right? - Yeah, I have like a John Lennon shirt I got from there. It's tied out from the '70s and it just ripped up everywhere. And I'm like, oh, I feel like Troy's the one. - It looks really cool. - How was your style like evolved over the years? Like, where do you find inspiration from? - Yeah. I think like at the moment, I just wanted to feel more like myself. Like as far as the way that I was dressing, I think like kind of in line with what I was talking about with the album, there became the sort of like caricature version of myself that I knew how to dress like. But I was like, but then that's not really how I dress. Or like, you know what I mean? Like it was a lot of like straps and complicated things. - Yeah. - And I didn't feel like sexy. And so then I started to dress more just like how I wanted to, you know what I mean? And like, so it's pretty easy. I mean, I'm wearing a leather vest right now, but like, that's 'cause I'm doing your podcast. - When do you feel like the most sexy? - I think it's like when I'm out and you've identified a potential like partner for the night or for whatever. And they're like leading someone around a dance, like grabbing their hand or like kind of like, you know, like that physical touch, I feel sexy and I love. Like last night at Peoples, I met this guy. And within like two seconds, he was like, me, come. And he grabbed my hand and like led me across and I was like melting. Like I love that shit so much. - Oh, having a crush on someone on a night out and it being reciprocated is one of the greatest feelings in the entire world. - It is peak. - Yeah, it is peak. - It is. - What's it Australian saying that you wouldn't say here besides like the bush? - I have a little rat's tail, I would call this a ratty. - A ratty. - Yeah, so I'd be like, I would never say this to an American, but if I, I'd be like, what are you reckonin' my ratty? - What, what do you reckon of my ratty? Like what do you think of my? - Do a lot of people in Australia have rat tails? - Yeah. - Oh really? What, it's like a thing there? - It's kind of always been a thing in Australia. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I thought about doing two. - Uh-huh. - Pig tail, like plastic. - How do you plan a ratty? Like how do you grow it out in that specific area and nowhere else? - So let your head grow, like pretty long, and then you'll look normal, normal, normal. And then when you get your big hair cut, you just like leave that chunk. But the hard thing is that when they're growing out, like if it's too short, it sticks out on the side, like it looks really bad for a long time. And then I'm really excited 'cause now I'm, as of like two days ago, I'm at the level where I can braid it and it like hangs. - Do you love braiding your hair? - I can't braid it. So my sister and my brother have been doing it. - Oh, when I had long hair this summer, I would take the two pieces here and just all day, braid it, braid it, braid it, braid it, braid it, braid it. - Do you need a mirror? - No. And everyone was like, "You're so good at braiding your hair." And I was like, "I know." - I should have asked you to braid my ratty today because it's a thick braid. - It's the best braiding is the best feeling in the entire world. It's like, it feels like you're in Niden, but with your own body. - Have you ever had a hobby like that? - No. - Never. I don't have hobbies. My only hobby is watching television. - I think that you would benefit from Niden. - Like a hobby like that. Like something to just like keep your mind busy or whatever, while we are chilling still. - What's that, like what type of hobby do you have? Like I love cooking, do you cook? - Okay, so I used to cook when I was a kid and similar to like skiing, like when I go skiing, like you can't focus on anything else, but the current task at hand. So it did like make me feel less anxious and it like took away my anxiety for like an hour 'cause I would like listen to music and cook and this. Yeah, I miss it. - I love doing that. I think that that's like probably my number one. What else do I like to do? - What do you like to cook? - I try and make new things basically every time 'cause the whole fun for me is that I'm like, trying something and like learning. So I will find a recipe on like New York Times cooking or something and try it. And then I do have my classics that I'll, but they're all like New York Times recipes or whatever that I've just like. - What are your classics? - There's this like really, really yummy chicken with it's like a vinegary chicken over tomatoes and onions. It's so yum and it's kind of like a one dish, like a one part dish because you do the chicken and then you kind of like, and there's some like caramelized onions in there or whatever. - And then you put them in caramelized onions. - Me too. - More than anything. - And you've got like chopped tomato and then like a little bit of fresh onion as well in a platter and then you put the chicken on and with the caramelized onions and then you take all the like sauce from the pot that you can and you pour it on and it like kind of wilts the fresh onion a little bit and you get this like vinegary sauce and it's kind of like a salad and your main in like one. So then I always make rice and have that. - Rice, I love rice. I was about to say, do you put all the sauce from the chicken on the rice? - Yes, of course. - It's the best thing in the entire world. - I love sauce on rice is do you put like chicken stock in your rice or better than bouillon? - No. - Go get better than bouillon and put like a teaspoon in your rice cooker when you're making do you use a rice cooker or the stove? - I use to see when I cooked. - Okay. It's like, it makes your house smell so homey. Like if someone walked into my house while I was like making my chickeny rice, I, it's like my dream because it smells so good. Oh that sounds, and you, so, and you just, to put the bouillon cube in like when you're in the water. - And then like flavors all the way. - It was like hot water so that it dissolves or you can use like the paste, the goose stuff. - Yeah, the, yeah. - Or you could just use chicken stock. - What's your favorite cuisine? - Maybe like death row cuisine probably? - I was about to say, I've never heard of that cuisine. And then I realized, and then I realized you were talking about like what would I eat on my death row? - Yeah. - I think maybe like, probably like really, really, really yummy like Moroccan fish. You know what I'm saying? - Like Shabbat food. - And I'm Jewish so I can say this. I, Jewish food doesn't do it for me. - Really? - Yeah, I only like marzipan soup and that's about it. - Like I hate gaffelta fish. - Okay, I can kind of get amongst gaffelta fish. I like it, I don't mind it. - But yeah, I mean like, I love like a, yeah like a Moroccan fish stew is just like my dream. - And that, is that Jewish? - Well, so my uncle is like Moroccan. - I like Jewish. - Okay, got it. - So I think that's why I like have grown up eating that. Have you ever been to Morocco? - No, never. - Have you ever heard it's beautiful? - Wow. - The only thing I know really about Morocco is that do you remember Anna Delvie? That's where she went on her big trip. She couldn't afford it and she like left that girl there to pay for the whole thing. - Love. - Yeah. - Well, she and Joe. - No, she's out of jail. She has an ankle monitor on and she is on a year-long press tour always. - Wow. - For just being Anna Delvie. - Have you seen her before in real life? - Yeah, we'll never have you. - Maybe. - I don't think I have. - I would gag, like speaking of Starstruck, if I saw her, I would be like, oh my God, that's crazy. - That's Anna Delvie. - Yeah. - It is one of the most interesting stories that I've ever heard and Julia Gardner, who plays her, I'm so obsessed with. - Yeah. - She's really, really good. - She was supposed to be Madonna in the Madonna biopic and then like all fell apart. - I so that she's trying to like bring it back. - I need, do you like music biopics? - I really liked Walk the Line. - I've been told that that is the one I need to see. - That's a really good movie. - It's about Johnny Katz, right? - Yeah. - That's like maybe one of the only ones that I've seen. - Wait, let me put you on. - Okay. - Love and Mercy. - Okay. - The Beach Boys dog, or biopic, the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life. - Really? - Yeah. - And it's like scripted, like performed. - It's not a documentary. - Yeah, it's Paul Dana's in it. - Yeah. - Junkyu Sac is in it and Elizabeth Banks is in it. - It's cool. - And it takes, and Paul Giamatti's in it. And it takes place over when he, Brian Wilson, is creating, do you like the Beach Boys? - Yeah. - It's when he's creating Pat Sounds. And then like 20, 30 years later, when he's like a paranoid schizophrenic and he's under this conservatorship. And this woman, like essentially this card dealership woman, who he ended up marrying in real life, like saves him. - Wow. - It's fascinating. - And that really happened? - Yeah, it really happened. Her name was, I think Melinda. And he basically, Brian Wilson was in, 'cause he, like the reason, his Pat Sounds was so good, is 'cause he was schizophrenic. So like he heard music in his mind. I'm like, how to, like, throw, like he couldn't, he like, right, Nolan, like he like saw music. And it was like, and so, like he kind of like went a little crazy. And he fell under the guise of this like therapist, who essentially became his conservator and like took complete control of him and like abuse him. - Really? - Yeah. Wow, and that's all in the movie. - All in the movie. - What's it called? - Love and Mercy. - It's a great song he wrote called Love and Mercy. - Have you seen the Jinx? - I saw the Jinx in real time. - Oh my God. - I saw the Jinx. I remember that Sunday. I think it was, it came out and watching it live when he said I killed them all. - Yeah. - I literally went to school the next day and I was like, you guys, I just saw the craziest thing I've ever experienced about time. - I've got to be some of the best TV of all time. - Ever. - Ever. - Hmm, I'm trying to think of what else I've seen that you might like. There's some like really crazy documentaries. Have you seen the woman who wasn't there? - No. - Okay, I mean, it sort of like gives it away in the title, but it's about a woman who survived 9/11. - Oh, I've heard about this and she like went on Oprah and stuff, right? - I think she did. And then the title, the woman who wasn't actually there. - Is it on HBO or something? - I don't remember what it's on, but that's crazy. Like that was a crazy one. - Well, before we do the time we went to the wrongs, what do you therapist about today? - I haven't really been able to like eat properly. Like that's my hangover. I feel like people with hangovers, it's like you either wake up and you have like a crazy elaborate like breakfast or you like can't think about food. - Ever. - I'm that. - Yeah, I can't think about food. - I'm the same way. I can't eat for 24 hours. - Yes, so I'm excited to maybe eat lunch and I'm kind of pissed that I haven't been able to eat yet. - Okay, I'm sorry. - It's okay, it's fine. Do you know what you're gonna have for lunch? - No, I don't know. See that thing, nothing really sounds good. - I had a Jimmy John's turkey tom and it was amazing. - I've never had that before. I don't know what that is. - Do you like sandwiches? - I love for that sandwich in the entire world. - Jimmy John's turkey tom. - Jimmy John's turkey tom with jalapenos. - Okay, wow. - And it's just turkey. Like very like crunchy iceberg lettuce. - Yum. - And mayonnaise and jalapenos. - And the bread tastes like if you bought cardboard and used that as the bread. So it tastes like cardboard and it's the best thing I've ever had in my life. - How does it compare to subway? - Literally, shits on subway and sets it on fire. - 'Cause I love subway. - Really? Oh, then Jimmy John's like, you'll eat Jimmy John's and you'll be like, how on earth did I ever eat subway? - Okay, cool. - Yeah, I'll give it a go. (upbeat music) - I love live music, but I have such a hard time being around large crowds. I really, really want to go in the pit, dance with everyone and let loose, but I loathe he start having a panic attack. It's also way too loud for me. I use ear plugs but still. I want to experience what everyone else does and he tips. - Hmm. You know what, I think the best place to stand at a show is, is get a floor seat. Like, so you're standing on the floor, but go to the back of the floor. - Because there's so much room back there. - Yeah, 'cause there's like capacity limits of how many people they can have in the floor. So sure, it might be really, really, really hectic towards the front of the stage, but at the back, like kind of by the front of house where they're mixing the show and stuff like that, it's a dream. You have so much space, you can like dance, you have, you know what I mean? - I would say, if you're in LA, go to a concert at the forum 'cause they have that thing. You know, when they'll do like the, the general like stand in. - Yeah. - And there's a back to it and I always see people running around in circles. - Yeah, exactly. - When I was at Lord, people were just like, running around and dancing. - It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. - You don't do a trap at all and like, you'll be fine. - Yeah. One of my best friends is getting married in September, but when I saw her recently, she randomly blurred it out to me that she doesn't want me to get, she doesn't want to get married. She said she thinks she would be making the worst mistake of her life. - Oh, great. - They've also been trying to get pregnant and I'm not sure what to do. I texted her afterwards and tried to ask if that was really what she wanted, or if she wanted it out and she just responded a week later with engagement photos. I'm not, that is so funny. I'm not sure what to do as her best friend because it sounds like a cry for help, but she's going along with that anyways. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved. - Tea. Yeah, I mean, I find it really shocking when people are like, when there's a couple, who it's like, yeah, we're either gonna get married or we're gonna break up kind of thing or like one person wants to get married and the other one doesn't or something. I'm like, how are you that deep into the relationship where one of you is considering marriage like for the rest of your life? And the other person is not sure or doesn't know if they want it. I'm like, I don't know if that's gonna work. Like I don't know if this is how, maybe this is idealistic or something, but I feel like marriage is something that you should both arrive at together like I was the same time. - A thousand percent. - Yeah, I don't know, I'm concerned for this person. - Scary. - Do you see yourself getting married? - I didn't really think about marriage ever because it was illegal when I was like coming out and stuff. I never really like let myself want to, I don't think I was like, oh, that's like not for me. I definitely want to be in a long-term relationship. Like I think I want to partner like for a long time. But the actual like marriage thing is not that important to me. I will say though, so all my friends in Australia, like they all got married when we were like young. Like, you know, early 20s kind of vibe. It's that vibe there. And then I felt nothing because I was like, oh, I'm like on such a different track of life from them and like I'm kind of living in the US and I'm, you know, whatever. I'm like gay, I'm surrounded by people who are not married and whatever. And then I started to feel the pressure for the first time when I started to go to like music peers weddings. Well, we have one coming up. We do, and it's like, yeah, like seeing like Charlie get married and do a get married and stuff. I'm like, oh, fuck, like my whole like excuse of like, oh, I'm really busy. Like I'm nowhere near as busy as either of them and they managed to make it work. So now I kind of I'm feeling it a little more. I'm like, okay, yeah, I should try and lock this down somehow. I mean, that's, I feel the same exactly. I've never had a boyfriend. So it makes me feel horrendous. Do you want one? See, I thought I did. I've always been like, I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend. But then when I finally give myself a second to sit and think about it, I'm like, I don't know if I can commit myself to someone like that. like I'm the worst on dates, I'm the worst on dates. My crushes, my crushes, go so manic and the only thing that gets me out of a crush is the song in my head by Ariana Grande. - Wait, how does that one go? - Look at you. - Boy, I invented you. - Yeah. - Gucci tennis shoes running from your issues. - So cute. - That song all the time Louise was like, was crashing out over this guy, the crashing out. We went on one day and I just saw the rest of my life with him and Louise. And no song would make me feel better. It was a scene to Lou Combs the entire week. - Wait, but why is that a bad thing? You had a crush on this guy? - Because he was like, I don't want to see you. And I was like, it's me, it's I'm the worst. He was everything I fucked it up because I was so drunk and like, I fucked it up, I fucked it up. And Louise was like, have you ever heard the song in my head by Ariana Grande? And I was like, no. And she said, you invented him. You made him up in your head. - Wow. - And that was the song that literally got me through everything. - Crazy, yeah. - Final question for you. What is this song for you that has gotten you through some of like the hardest times of your life? - I don't know why. This is the first song that came into my head. Because I think I have a lot of songs that have done that for me. But ribs by Lord. - Yeah. That was just like the first song that came into my head. I think it's like one of the best songs ever. - Well, most beautiful songs of all time. And I just remember like when it first came out where I was and like, yeah, I still could listen to that song. Like I think I could listen to that song every day and like be happy. - I feel that way about your song. Could cry just thinking about you. - Really? - Yeah. When I first heard it, I was like, oh, this song has changed my life. - Wow. - Yeah. And I told you when I was listening to Sex Star, I was like, I've never felt more seen in my life. Your music makes me feel so seen. - Thank you, Jay. - Thank you. - I love you too. Did you not just say I love you? Did I just say? - No, no, I said it. - Oh, you did? - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh. - Well, Troy, what did we learn today? - What did we learn today? We learned, um, you can podcast hungover. - Well, you can't say if someone does want to be saved. - Exactly. That's what we learned. You can't say if someone doesn't want to be saved. - Yeah. - Well, Troy, thank you for coming out there. - Thanks for having me. - This was so fun. - So fun. - I love you. - Love you. (upbeat music)